Fic - Living in Shadows

[Slick Whiskas]

Aw... so sweet : )=. You've definitely written them both very true to character. I could totally see Willow writing out a speech to Tara, and Tara waiting anxiously for Willow's arrival.



Also, I loved:



"'And I don’t normally use that many words to describe things.' Tara looked at her and raised one eyebrow 'Ok I do...'"



Because, as much as I loved that scene in the show, I was always like "Willow, what are you talking about? You ALWAYS use that many words"



-Civet ( *

"...and the cat likes overhearing children's stories"- Amelie




Ne-yow! >^..^<

[funkyasian]

friends is good...friends is a start...how sweet though. i wonder if willow babbled in the written down speech?



steph

[Tiggrscorpio]

Friends are nice. Interesting that Willow is so completely drawn to Tara, that she feels compelled to insert herself into Tara's life immediately. Willow always did jump in with both feet. Looking forward to more, Puff!!

*****

She's my everything!

[mollyig]

Their connection feels so natural to Willow that she, the brainy type, isn't even trying to understand it, she's just embracing it. That's just lovely!

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[FaithWL]

*waves* Woo and Hoo! :d



Loved the 2 parts, i read them later, cause my family just wouldnt go away yesterday, lol.



I just ran home from work, literally to come and read this :d

Ans god forbid 10 hour working days. But then again i am happy now :d (the amount of money I got yesterday also helps, ofcourse. ;) )

Ok, I'm going to bug you in Yahell...right... now. for updates:p



*-XxX-* Stefanie

Tara: "There are 4 things i love... Willow, obviously, Sleeping, eating and showering."
Xander: "And preferbly all 4 combined?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "What? Sleeping with Willow, showering with Willow and eating......uhm..never mind."

[Puff]

Thank you for your feedback here are the individual responses



KJchicago

Thank you I try to keep the characters true to themselves even though the story is AU.



Slick Whiskas

Hee hee I am glad you liked that bit Willow always uses a lot of words to describe things, after only a day Tara has noticed this



Steph

Willow probably always babbles And friends is a good start, Tara needs a few friends. Hope you are still enjpying the story.



Tiggrscorpio

Willow always commits herself 100%. And as for them being friends I think that was just the word they both felt comfortable using at the time. Glad to see you still reading and thanks for the feedback.



mollyig

That's it exactly I hope you continue to read and enjoy future parts.



FaithWL

*waves* I am glad to see you still enjoying the story I hope you continue to like it.



Ok that's it for the replies Part 11 will be up later today I hope you all enjoy it.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[Puff]

Title: Living in Shadows

Author: Puff

Feedback: This is my first and only attempt at a long story so if it sucks sorry. Please send comments etc to puff614@hotmail.com

Summary: Dark Tara centric story. Willow does appear but I am warning you there will be some badness. This is AU as well. That stands for my reality.

Spoiler Warning: None at all.

Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters. I do, however, love them. I'm not making any money off of them though.

Rating: R – G This part is a G I think.

Notes: Thanks to my wonderful beta reader Drakkenfyre who has made it possible for me to update daily And love as always to spuckie.



Part 11



“A Hellmouth! Sunnydale’s on a Hellmouth.” Tara repeated. Letting the words, if not the meaning of them sink in. “And you chose to stay here because Buffy is a slayer?”



“The Slayer. Yes.” Willow agreed.



Tara sat back on the bed. Stunned. Willow had talked for hours telling her about Sunnydale. The real Sunnydale that is, that most of the residents ignored and about her friends. “Well that explains her strength I guess.” Tara said with a smile remembering the tiny blonde.



Willow nodded. She was anxiously watching Tara. Trying to sort out what reaction all this news had created, after all it wasn’t everyday you realised that you had just enrolled for college on the Hellmouth.



“Are you freaked?” She asked.



Tara considered this for a minute. She remembered everything her mother had always told her about magic and goodness. Yet her mother had also spoken on many occasions about evil and monsters. ‘Maybe this is why I came here?’ the thought crossed her mind before quickly being tucked away.



“Tara?” Willow prompted softly “Are you ok? You kind of drifted on me there.”



Tara smiled in response; she wasn’t ready to tell Willow so many things. Not yet. She wanted to, really, she wanted to tell someone. To ask if she was a bad person that deserved this, but she feared their answer and their response. Even Willow’s. Especially Willow’s.



“I’m fine. It’s just a lot to take in.”



“I’m sorry, I wanted you to be safe and that meant, well, telling you some of it. As it’s not really safe to walk around here after dark. And… Well I wanted to tell you as well because I meant what I said earlier, I want you to know me Tara.” Willow blushed.



“I want to know you too Willow.” The redhead grinned, the tip of her tongue could just be seen between her teeth and Tara thought the grin was adorable. “I want you to know me as well.” She said quietly. But Willow heard her and if it was possible her smile got brighter.



“It’s so light out.” Willow said looking at the window slightly puzzled.



Tara looked at the clock by her bed.



“We talked all night.”



“Well I believe a large breakfast is in order then.” Willow smiled looking at Tara for her opinion.



“Don’t you need to call Buffy? You said you shared with her yes?” Tara was concerned that Buffy would worry about Willow otherwise.



“She knew I was coming to see you, besides Buffy trusts you.” Willow said smiling at the blonde again, she seemed to be doing that a lot.



“But won’t she be worried about you staying out all night?”



Willow frowned thinking about what Buffy’s reaction would be.



“We could invite her for breakfast? It will make everything better.” Tara suggested.



“Yes. Who could be upset when pancakes are in bellies?” Willow asked.



They both laughed “Who could be angry with you anyway Willow?” she said quietly.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

Edited by: Puff  at: 8/1/02 3:59:14 pm

[xita]

I liked Willow's big speech about wanting to know Tara better. Made me smile. As do pancakes in bellies

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Oooh Xita!" - Amber Benson

[Tulipp]

Puff, the last two updates were nice. I liked Willow saying that she wanted Tara to know her better; I like getting to see them as friends again before their chemistry takes off. It's an important part of the development of their relationship, I think. There is so much still ahead of them. Thanks.

[MadeinNZ]

Really enjoying this story. Its really good to have some background on what Tara went through. Now we know more about her childhood trauma.

------------------------------


"When someone falls for Willow, they stay fallen" - Normal Again

[mollyig]

Willow's concern for Tara's safety was probably what made her tell her about the Hellmouth, but whatever it was I'm glad she's being so honest with her.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[Thanatopsis]

I love Willow's honesty with Tara, wanting to friends, being concerned with her safety.

--------------------
Too many of us live desert lives. ~Charles de Lint

[FaithWL]

*waves*



Woohoo, it's weekend and what a better way to celebrate then an update from Puff? :)

I loved the last update, Willow telling Tara everything... Hm..wonder if she knows about Oz...

Anyway, you know me, so... *cheerleading dance* Update, update!! :>



*-XxX-* Stefanie

Tara: "There are 4 things i love... Willow, obviously, Sleeping, eating and showering."
Xander: "And preferbly all 4 combined?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "What? Sleeping with Willow, showering with Willow and eating......uhm..never mind."

[Puff]

Hi everyone here are just a few replies.



Xita

Glad you liked Willow's speech, who wouldn't want to know Tara better? And yes I pilfered loads of dialogue from various episodes in the writing of this story



Tulipp

Thank you I am glad you are enjoying the story. I thought friendship was important for both girls although there is some chemistry there already, it's just that neither one of them seems to know how to deal with it yet.



MadeinNZ

I am glad you are enjoying the story The next part will be darker and deal more with Tara's past. I hope you like it.



Mollyig

Yes, Willow wants Tara to be safe. I think it's one of her top priorities And Willow was honest with Tara it will just take some time for Tara to be able to have that same honesty with Willow. Thanks for the feedback you always seem to be able to pinpoint the theme behind the update



Thanatopsis

Oh it's good to see that you are still enjoying the story, more bouts of honesty and developing friendship (and more) will be along soon



FaithWL

*waves* Is it already the weekend? That explains why I feel like poop then. An update will be along later today and I hope you like it, it's a bit darker.



Part 12 will go up later today. I have to go and visit my horse Jack as he was sick last night It will be up when I get back from him.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[FaithWL]

*waves* Well it's weekend here:p

Apart from being hit, yes i had a great week, love the fics! keep the updates coming:d



*-XxX-* Stefanie

Tara: "There are 4 things i love... Willow, obviously, Sleeping, eating and showering."
Xander: "And preferbly all 4 combined?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "What? Sleeping with Willow, showering with Willow and eating......uhm..never mind."

[TareBearRS]

Loved the 2 updates,

I was wondering what their'e talk would be like and well.. now i know haha.



Great for Willow to feel all protective and share all that stuff with Tara so early after they met, and woohoo for Tara not being freaked.



Now she just has to come to terms with the fact that she is NOT a bed person and that her family (besides her mom) is just deranged!!! But i think Willow can really help with that bit.



I loved Willow's little babble speach, Great!!!



R. ( another Dutch girl ) so Stefanie, you are not alone here!

[Puff]

FaithWL

*waves* I hope you are ok {hugs}



TareBearRS

Thank you for your kind words and feedback, I am glad that you are enjoying the story. It is a long road of self acceptance that Tara has to travel but she is at least on the path



Anyway my horse is looking better today which makes me incredibly happy so I thought I'd post the update early. Please be warned this is a dark chapter.



Title: Living in Shadows

Author: Puff

Feedback: This is my first and only attempt at a long story so if it sucks sorry. Please send comments etc to puff614@hotmail.com

Summary: Dark Tara centric story. Willow does appear but I am warning you there will be some badness. This is AU as well. That stands for my reality.

Spoiler Warning: None at all.

Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters. I do, however, love them. I'm not making any money off of them though.

Rating: R – G This part is a R rated for violent dark themes...you have been warned.

Notes: Thanks to my wonderful beta reader Drakkenfyre who has made it possible for me to update daily. And love as always to spuckie. Should I mention the dark content of this chapter again?



Part 12



Tara walked back to her dorm room alone. Willow and Buffy had both wanted to accompany her but Tara had said that it was safe in the daylight. Besides Willow had looked exhausted. Lack of sleep had affected both girls as soon as they had sat down to eat and Willow had practically yawned her way through her pancakes. Tara thought she looked adorable, all sleepy and the like.



Back at her room, Tara slowly peeled of her clothes and pulled on a worn pair of plaid boxer shorts and a light blue tank top. She then crawled under the covers to sleep.



However, sleep did not come easily and when it did arrive dreams plagued her mind.



The dream started off pleasant enough. It was her mother in a large field of grass and trees. Tara smiled in her sleep. “Momma.” She called, but her mother couldn’t hear her. She ran towards her mother but never seemed to get any closer. Panic started to close in.



Then the picture changed and Tara was besides her mother’s bed. She could tell her mother was sick.



Her mother took hold of her hand and Tara cried, “Please don’t leave me Momma, I need you.”



“Baby girl.” Her mother’s breath came in shallow gasps “I’ll never leave you, but I can’t stay here with you at the moment. You have to be strong for me. You have to do what your father says ok?” Tara nodded her head “If you do what he say’s then he can’t hurt you Tara.” Her mother reached out towards her and stroked her hair “You are my precious child and I will always love you.”



Suddenly the hand that was reaching towards her changed. It had dry peeling skin upon it and long talons that swiped at Tara’s face, she screamed and tried to move away from the monster that now held her. But the grip tightened.



Tara woke up crying. Her body was shaking and she gently touched her face remembering the dream. Then she looked at her hands making sure they were dry from blood and breathed a sigh of relief when they were. It was just a dream, she was fine. Her mother hadn’t changed before she died; Tara knew this because she was with her up until her final breath.



She remembered her father telling her that the demon inside her had made momma sick because of the magic that she used. That the magic had poisoned the demon somehow. He had said that the demon had reacted to the magic and magic couldn’t be used to control it. Only the punishments could. Whether these were verbal or sometimes even physical punishments seemed to depend entirely on her father.



Tara shuddered at the memories. She wrapped the covers tighter around her. Trying to shut out the feeling of cold that always accompanied any thought of her father.



He had explained to her that she had no demon in her at first because her mother had borne it for her. But when Tara’s mother had died the demon had come back into her. He pilled guilt onto Tara by practically blaming her for her mothers death. Saying that one demon wouldn’t have made her as sick as two. Then he told her that she would never be able to control her demon. That whatever she tried to do she would fail and when she was twenty it would take over her body. Do terrible things unless they managed to somehow control it first.



All of this was told to Tara on the night of her mother’s funeral. That was the night the first punishment took place.



Tara quickly closed her eyes trying unsuccessfully to stop the visions of that terrible night from flooding her mind. Her father standing over her with his hand rising in slow motion. The force of the blow as it shook her body…the feel of feet kicking her as she lay on the floor…the pain in her side as she tried to breath, the words “I’m sorry Tara but this is for your own good,” echoing over and over in her head, the pain that came from wondering how much additional suffering she had given her mother. The feeling that maybe she deserved this and then looking up and seeing her father’s face full of his own fear and anger towards her before he left the room.



The tears rolled down her face and she brushed them quickly aside.



Her doubts and fears were torturing her mind. Telling her that she was worthless, to be feared, to be punished and worst of all that she deserved all of this…and more. The words repeated continually, covering her mind like think dense smoke blocking out any other thoughts. Tara hugged her knees and slowly rocked her body back and forth trying to block it out. She curled up into a ball and rested her head on her pillow. Her body ached and her mind was raw but she tried to calm herself down.



“Breathe Tara.”



Her eyes looked around the room focusing on the shadows that were cast on a wall; gradually she made out patterns of light in the darkness and felt her heart rate calm down. ‘Momma you were right, even here in my darkest moments I can still find light.’ The thought soothed her and she closed her eyes. Her breathing gradually settled down into a deeper pattern before sleep gripped her body again.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[oneinten]

Wow I finally started this thread today and couldn't stop! Puff this is an excellent fic! I love how you have portrayed Willow and Tara having such an immediate connection. Total protection Willow and everything. And Tara...well I'm glad she's out of the house and I can't wait for some Willow comfort to come her way. She certainly deserves it!



Hurrah!



kath

[BFR from Paris]

You know, I'm sure you all agree that JW & Co didn't explored Tara's past enough, what exactly happened to her mother, where her powers come from, etc.

Right, I forgot, she was only a plot device... oops wrong thread, sorry!



Anyway, they teased us in season 4 but the "Tara thought she was a demon but she was not" conclusion was kind of lame, even if the "Tara & Willow get off on the dance floor" bit was nice



So, getting to the point, it's nice to read fanfics that deal with these issues and explore the lives of our two witches, even if it means angst (since all fanfics submitted here end up with T/W smoochies, angst is okay )

I've been reading a lot (and by that I mean a lot) of fanfics lately and I really enjoy that aspect - it makes up for the limited amount of pure T/W scenes on Btvs!



And of course Puff, I like your story and I'll be checking for updates



Christine

[Tiggrscorpio]

Oh God, poor Tara!



Not only did that jerk tell her she was a demon, but that her mother carried Tara's demon for her and that's why she died. That is beyond cruel. He is pure evil. You must torture him mercilessly, okay Puff?

*****

She's my everything!

[funkyasian]

i find myself holding my breath until the last sentence every time i read one of the updates...it's a very good update...my compliments...

[Scout]

Boy, I came in at a heavy installment. Poor Tara - thank goodness she has Willow now to help her build a new life. I'm really looking forward to Tara slowly opening up her past to Willow, and Willow helping her find love and self-acceptance through their relationship.



Great job! Looking forward to more!

[Tulipp]

Tara really has so much to deal with; by season 6, I'd really almost forgotten that she had this particular past to deal with. I read this update, as I think I read all fanfics, with all of W/T canon and non-canon in my mind, you know? So I found that I kept slipping into thinking that Tara would have Willow there when she woke from that dream. But of course here, she doens't yet. But I was so glad to remember that, badness or not, she and we have that to look forward to. Thanks, Puff.

[jomarch]

You're really getting into the swing of things and both W & T are off to an interesting start. I loved their talk and Tara's nightmare was all with the badness but hopefully Willow will be there to help her the next time.

[Thanatopsis]

I'm glad that you're delving into Tara's past, even if it is angsty. It was definitely something left unexploded that has great potential. Hope Tara doesn't have too many more nightmares.

--------------------
Too many of us live desert lives. ~Charles de Lint

[Drakkenfyre]

Drakkenfyre sneaks in under the cover over darkness..looks around. Hey love!! You know I am so loving this...just thought I would tell you here. You go little dragon!!

"In my world there are people in chains and we ride them like ponies."

[FaithWL]

*waves*

Woah. You were right bout the darkness.

But, as always, this rocked, the way you explore her past and pain is wonderful, keep it up!



*-XxX-* Stefanie



By the way, Jen, did you get my email? Hotmail has been doing weird stuff lately.

Puff, we got new smileys on Yahell!! Lol

And...one thing.. I though Willow was afraid of frogs...well i watched "Inca Mummy girl" today..and willow is playing with...what looks like..a stuffed animal...a frog. Weird buffy sutff happening here.

Tara: "There are 4 things i love... Willow, obviously, Sleeping, eating and showering."
Xander: "And preferbly all 4 combined?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "What? Sleeping with Willow, showering with Willow and eating......uhm..never mind."

Edited by: FaithWL at: 8/3/02 6:09:15 am

[TareBearRS]

O man, i can't even start to say how sorry i feel for Tara,

i can not believe her family.......

To abuse your own daughter like that, well it's just sick.



This sure was dark but you told it incredibly good.



Glad to hear about your horse.



Can't wait for more.



R.

[Ghostwriter]

Puff, what a great story! I like that Tara was able to break away from her family! And the electricity between Willow and Tara is great! Thanks for sharing

[Puff]

oneinten

I'm glad that you are enjoying the story and continue to do so Yes Tara does deserve some comfort, hopefully she will let herself receive it soon.



BFR from Paris

Tara does have an interesting past that I had hoped they would explore some more. It's nice to read that you are liking the story and thank you for the feedback



Tigg

I agree he deserves to be punished, I just haven't written anything into this story about it though. Although I had a sequel inmind I hope you are still enjoying the story I really appreciate the feedback you give me



Steph

*blush* Thank you. I am glad you like the updates. Should I put in a disclaimer to breathe when reading?



Scout

Yes this was a heavy part but some parts will still be light although there are only 6 parts left I hope you like the way the story developes.



Tulipp

It's great to get feedback from you and I am glad that you like the story. If I was writing this the way the show went then Tara would have a whole year to herself plagued with nightmares before she even saw Willow. Thank goodness this is AU



Jomarch

I really enjoyed writing the talk, I love putting in lines from the show. It was nice claiming a W/O line back Willow will be along soon.



Thanatopsis

Tara's past has a load of potential I think, I am glad you are enjoying everything and I think things will start looking up for Tara pretty soon.



Drakkenfyre

{Hugs} Thank you



FaithWL

*waves* Ah yes I like writing the painful side of Tara's past as I know she has Willow now so things are better. An update will be a long later today



TareBearRS

Tara's family wouldn't be winning many prizes in the way to treat your daughter category. But then they made Tara what she was as well. And now she knows Willow now so all things will be getting better. I hope you enjoy the story and thanks Jack is looking much better



Ghostwriter

Thank you for your feedback I just read your story the other day and really loved it as well. I hope you continue to enjoy this one



Part 13 will be up later today I hope everyone is having a good weekend

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson