Sober
by Shadowygirl
Rating: pg-13
Disclaimer: Definitely no money being made. All characters belong to Joss Whedon and ME. I own nothing .Oh and the song is called Sober by Kelly Clarkson it isn't mine I do not own it and I didn't not write it thought I wish I did it's freaking awesome!
Distribution: here
Feedback: Sure if you feel like it .
Spoilers: None I guess I don't know if you haven't had a chance to watch the whole show yet then well I'm very sorry lol
Author's Notes: I changed things up a little bit I loved the song and thought about writing something to go with it hope you like if not well again with the sorry !!
Pairing: Tara/Willow
Summary: Willow wants to start over and wants to talk to Tara .
Sober
And I don't know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing's real
Until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me
Willow sits out side Tara's dorm .
sitting on the stair's wondering if Tara will give her the light of day , if she'll talk for a few moments , if they can try again.
Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it's never really over
Every day she has sat on those stairs, knowing that Tara isn't home , or going to be home anytime soon its been three months , and she hasn't been able to have a single thought without Tara in it .
And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time
Today is different though Tara will be on her way out the door in a few moments to head over to Buffy's to meet with Dawnie.
today she isn't going to chicken out , she's going to wait , she's going to watch as her former lover comes out the door she's going to stand up and she's going to ask to talk .
she has willed herself to do this today.
she doesn't think she can handle one more day without Tara in her life , she's been holding on for a little bit of hope, waiting to hear from someone anyone that Tara still loves her any tiny shimmer of hope has kept her waiting every day .
Three months and I'm still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know
It's never really over, no
Willow takes in a shaky breath , looks down at her watch , then back up at the door knowing that in exactly forty seven seconds Tara should be walking out the door so she counts down waiting hoping not to get scared and run.
Her hands shaking she pushes herself up off the ground , her face tear stained she quickly wipes any wetness away so Tara won't think she's weak.
She takes another shaky breath and walks towards the door , her heart almost stops as it slowly opens and a bewildered Tara walks out slowly , hesitantly looks at Willow.
Wake up
Tara takes Willow in for a moment , looking at her red stained eye's , knowing the girl has been crying she reaches her hand out and places it over Willow's hand which is wrapped tightly around herself , (something's wrong) Tara takes a deep breath (I know something's wrong she's never waited for me to come home before , she's always left just before I got here) Tara thinks as she takes Willow in for a few moments more .
"Willow" Tara whispers "What's the matter?" she questions quietly her eyebrows frowned a little .
Willow takes a deep breath and looks into Tara's eye's knowing if she doesn't say it now she is never going to say it she's going to walk away and never look back and she doesn't want to walk away she wants to try again she wants it to work she wants Tara back , she wants to give all her love all her heart and soul to the blonde haired girl standing scared in front of her.
Three months and I'm still standing here
Three months and I'm getting better yeah
Three months and I still am
"I want .... " Willow shakes her head loosing eye contact with Tara " I need another chance Tara" she finally admits tears rolling down her face , she had a whole hallmark card planned out to say to Tara .
And now in front of the girl she loves so much the girl she hurt so much she is a soggy mess, (You're so damn fucking stupid) Willow sighs knowing Tara isn't going to just give in that easily ( you dummy you screwed up the only chance you might have had to talk to her again and you tell her you need another chance well great what's she thinking "sure williow I'll give you another chance lets just forget everything that happened lets forget how you screwed me over broke my heart and ruined my mind and trust SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE lets just start over" Ya that's exactly what she's going to say) Willow thought to herself as she shyed away recoiling like she was just smacked in the face .
Three months and it's still harder now
Three months I've been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months
Tara takes a deep breath and reaches out taking Willow's hand in her own "we need to talk"
she states "look at me Willow" she demands softly and Willow slowly complys , their eye's meet and Willow is suprised to find that Tara doesn't look angry that she is standing there asking for another chance, not angry , mad , even not hurt, Tara just looks .......suprised .
Three months and I'm still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up
"Okay" Willow whispers and Tara softly covers Willows lips with her index finger sending a tingle through the girls mouth into her heart , "shhhh Willow , I understand why you are here , I've felt you here everyday since I left " Tara looks down at the steps Willow was just sitting on "everyday , not a single one missed and everyday I've felt less and less magical power left" Tara closed her eyes and finally took her finger off of the helpless redheads lips "I've missed you" Tara admits softly "I've missed you alot , and we have alot to work on , alot to talk about , but I know you've been trying and I'm willing to try again" she breathes out softly her eye's tearing up as well .
"when glory sucked my mind dry , you were there for me Willow not a single day went by without you taking care of me , feeding me , showering me , doing my school work for me so I wouldn't fail , you were there for me , and when you needed help most , when you needed a shoulder to cry on , arms to pick you up when you fell down , someone to tell you don't do that to tell you it's wrong to use so much magic , someone to be just as hard headed as you are , I wasn't there , and I should have been ." Tara looks into Willow's eyes again trying to tell her without actually saying it .
"I should have been there for you Willow like you were for me when I was crazyminded"
"but Tara I used you I should never have used you I should never have done that to you NEVER" Willow cuts in not wanting Tara to blame herself at all knowing full well what she did was wrong in so many ways .
Again Tara puts her finger over Willow's lips to stop her from talking "Love I should have helped you no matter what instead I just ran away I was scared " Tara admints making Willow shiver with the thought that the woman she loved with all her heart was scared of her .
" I think " Tara takes a deep breath " I think we , You Willow and I Tara , should try again." Tara finally states looking into Willow's eyes for her reaction , she had been wanting to go to Willow for some time now , wanting to try again but to afarid to ask incase the red headed girl had already moved on , she had hoped she didn't , she thought she didn't since she could sense that Willow had been out on the stairs everyday but she didn't want to push since she was the one to leave .
Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
A small smile crosses Willow's face and Tara can't help but puller her into her arms in a tight hug "I never stopped loving you Willow" she sighs as she takes in the scent of the red heads hair missing it so much more now that she could feel her again.
Finally Willow breaks down sobbing "Me either Tara I never for a single moment stopped loving you" she cries hard into the other girls arms knowing with everything that she is .
that this time she will do everything in her power to make Tara happy , to let Tara in , to show Tara she can trust her again and she plans on telling Tara all of this as soon as her mouth will make sound again but for the moment she's just going to enjoy what she has missed so much .
The feel of Tara loving her .
