FOREVER LOST, FOREVER FOUND. RATED - PG.

[Wytchi Grrl]

Title - FOREVER LOST, FOREVER FOUND



Author name - WYTCHI GRRL



E-mail Address - CONTACT ME THROUGH PRIVATE EMAIL.



Rating - PG



Disclaimer - ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO JOSS WHEDON, ME, FOX ETC, FICTION BELONGS TO ME. FIC IS RATED PG DUE TO ANGSTY THEME.



Feedback- I WOULD APPRECIATE FEEDBACK



Summary- SET JUST AFTER SEASON SIX, WILLOW HAS TO COME TO TERMS WITH WHAT SHE TRIED TO DO AND LOSING TARA. IT’S JUST ALL TO MUCH. SHE IS SO LOST, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY FIND HER AGAIN?



Notes- THIS FIC HAS QUITE ANGSTY THEME, BUT ULTIMATELY HAS A HAPPY ENDING(IN THAT I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ). THIS FIC CAN BE TAKEN SEVERAL WAYS DEPENDING ON THE READER AND MAY NOT BE EVERYONES IDEAL SITUATION BUT HOPEFULLY WORTH WHILE READING. THIS FIC HAS BEEN POSTED ON MY OWN W/T SITE BUT I REALLY WANTED KITTEN OPINION. IT IS IN SEVERAL PARTS WHICH I HOPE TO ADD UPDATES QUICKLY. OH AND GO EASY ON ME THIS IS MY FIRST EVER PIECE OF FANFIC





PART 1 - FOREVER LOST



The Red head Lie very still in her bed, She seemed to have been that way forever. Buffy sat in the corner of the room; she hugged her left knee to her chest. Her eyes stung with salty water as they had so many times before over the last few days. Willow had finally stop crying the morning after what had happened. Since then she had be silent and still, almost catatonic except her eyes occasionally opened and shut. Buffy wasn’t sure if she slept, sometimes it seemed like she was breathing heavier but she couldn’t be sure.



Xander entered the room, he had been sleeping on the couch the last 3 nights, Buffy wondered if he was there to protect as well as be there for them.



“Hey Buff, how you doing? Can I get you anything?” Xander delicately asked.



Buffy silently shook her head.



“Come on Buff, why don’t you come down stairs for a while?”



“I can’t leave her” Buffy’s voice was shaky, full of emotion.



“Dawn’s made tea; I will sit with Willow for awhile, You need a break”



“I’m fine”



“Well we need to discuss something, something that we should maybe talk about outside?” Xander gestured with his head towards the door.



“I don’t think she can even hear us” Buffy’s voice grew quieter as she spoke.



“Ok then...It’s been three days Buff...Don’t you think it’s time we called a doctor?” Xander nervously scuffed his foot on the floor.



Buffy stood up suddenly.

“Xander, We’ve talked about this, I don’t think a doctor can deal with this, I mean this is not a problem that anyone can deal with, Willow’s sick with Magic's not the flu! If we’re going to call anyone it should be a witch doctor or something.... Or maybe that’s not such a good idea”



“Woo ok Buff, I just think we need some help with this and..... I’m not so sure this has anything to do with Magic anymore, I think this is a case of good old fashioned grief, or not so good” Xander scratched the back of his head, eyes down.



Buffy turned and faced the redhead.



“Maybe, Maybe not, lets just give it some time”



“Ok Buffy, we will give it little longer, I will go be with Dawn now, you Sure you’re not coming?”



“I’ll be fine” Buffy smiled reassuringly.



Xander turned towards the door.



“Xander, Can I have some tea?”



“Sure thing Buff” Xander nodded and headed for the door.

----------------------------------------------------



Willow felt cold, very cold. Her surroundings were dark, pitch black. She was sure her eyes were open but then again she wasn’t sure she could actually feel her body.



A thought echoed through her mind



Am I Alive?



Fear began to spread through her



If I’m dead This isn’t what I was told heaven was like She wasn’t sure who had told her what heaven was like.



Another Voice filled her head



“you won’t be going to heaven after what you did”The Voice was icy and harsh yet strangely familiar.



Willow was sure every hair on her body must have been standing on end, if she still had a body that was.



What I did? Her mind suddenly projected.



“You Know what you did” There it was again, so sinister, so ME?



Panic clasped her being It Wasn’t ME! Willow tried desperately to shout, to scream It Wasn’t ME! but she had no voice.



“Who was it then if it wasn’t you?” She didn't Know, It was all so confusing.



It was...It was You!



“And who am I?” The voice taunted.



You’re...You ARE Me



Willow’s thoughts trailed off leaving her in silence, a silence like no other she had known. Her eyes strained to see beyond the thick black veil, they could find nothing to fix on, not a shadow

It’s to dark for shadows Her own haunting voice reminded her.



I’m so lost

--------

Willow "Thats fine I don't need snuggles" Tara "Vixen".

Edited by: Wytchi Grrl  at: 12/6/02 8:05:37 am

[Wytchi Grrl]

PART 2 - CONVERSATIONS



Anya marched confidently into Willow’s room, glanced briefly at the lifeless looking redhead before shaking Buffy vigorously to wake her from an awkward slumber.



“Huh?” Buffy mumbled as she tried to focus on the woman stood before her.



“You must get up and come down stairs now Buffy. Xander and Dawn are cooking breakfast, although I don’t know if it is worth coming down for considering Dawn is just a child and Xander is just incapable” Anya stated with her hands on her hips.



Buffy looked towards Willow’s slight Body laying delicately on the bed.

“Well I think I can safely say She will not be going anywhere, for now anyway”



“Well if you’re sure, We don’t want her running off to end the world while we’re gone” Anya put in bluntly.



“I’m Sure” The slayer sighed.



* * *



Downstairs Xander dished up the last of the waffles and syrup to Dawn.



“That was lovely Xander” Buffy smiled at him, then towards Dawn.



“Oh I couldn’t have done it without the Dawnster” Xander patted Dawn affectionately on the head.



“I’m confident of that, and it wasn’t lovely” the vengeance demon added frankly.



Xander shook his head “Charming as ever Anya”



Ignoring him Anya choose this time to bring up the topic in hand.

“So when are we going to stop pretending Willow is just going to wake up and be normal? And call the doctors to take her somewhere to fix her head because this is just getting silly”



Buffy stood up and took her and Xander’s dishes to the sink.



“Didn’t she hear me?” Anya asked sternly “Don’t tell me she’s gone all non-responsive as well”



“Look Anya....” Xander started.



“I don’t think we need to call a doctor, I think willow is just having a rest after...after what happened and she will wake up when she’s ready, Well that's what I think anyway” Dawn Started losing her confidence a little at the end.



Buffy placed her hand on her sisters’ shoulder and gave it a little squeeze.



“Well to be honest you both have a point, We can’t leave things any longer but I don’t want to call in the so call professionals just yet” Buffy paced as she spoke.



“Buff I know your worried what the doctors might do and how we explain it but if it was someone else I think Will would put her trust in science, in this case anyway” Xander tried to be as honest as possible.



“Well I have thought of something we could try first, I don’t know if it will work, but Xander’s right in a way but Willow would also put her trust in Magic's, now I know you probably all feel we should stay away from Magic but It can work, it has worked for all of us at one time or another and It has for me...Even Willows’ Magic has worked for me and right now I think this could be our best bet” The Slayer took a deep breath.



“Get to the point!” Anya Demanded.



Everyone’s intense focus on Buffy was interrupted by a short, sharp knock at the door; She left to answer it.



“I really don’t think we should be using Magic around Willow, The two lead to disaster, literally” started Dawn anxiously.



“It’s ok Dawn, If Buffy thinks its ok then we have to give whatever she has in mind a go” Xander laid his hand on hers.



As Buffy entered the room with company in toe Dawn Jumped up excitedly “Yey Giles, Giles is here, You know what to do don’t you Giles?”



Giles took off his glasses and wiped his brow.

....................................................................................



Willow felt like she been in the cold dark clasps of this place for eternity. She tried to hold her breath; she wanted something to take her away from here. The Witch soon realised that she couldn’t even control her breathing, she couldn’t control anything now just like before.



“Hushhh” A sinister voice filled Willows’ ears. This voice was different from anything she heard before. For the first time she felt her body, Her heart pounded her chest like hammer to a nail.



“I will find you...hsss”



Terror captured Willows’ essence. Who, What, I have no where to hide



A flash came before her eyes, red holes of dread out there in the darkness. No Where to hide.



“I sssee you”



Alarm, Panic, Horror. No Words to could describe what gripped Willow.



“T T Taraaaaaa!” The agonising Cry came from deep inside her.

--------

Willow "Thats fine I don't need snuggles" Tara "Vixen".

[Wytchi Grrl]

Part 3 - The Witch Doctor



As the group entered the room Buffy broke into a run for the bed and lifted Willow Up towards her. A slick film of perspiration covered the Red Heads colourless face, Her lips were trembling.



“Giles, What’s Wrong?” Buffy asked knowing her Watcher didn’t have the answers.



“I don’t know Buffy but it seems we need to get started on this as soon as possible” Giles shook his head slightly.



“Can I just ask what ARE we starting?” Xander eyes darted between Watcher and Slayer.

“Dawn can you please get five candles of similar size, Xander a small bowel of water and a small bowel of salt, Buffy you make Willow more comfortable and Anya some incense if you please” Giles instructions were clear and concise “I’ll get the appropriate crystals”



“Excuse Me but Magick? In this room? With her? I don’t think so” Anya finger pointed towards the Witch.



“Well Anya” Xander shot a look in her direction “why don’t you teleport off somewhere and do your Kind of helping”



“This is not the time” Giles interjected before the vengeance demon could reply “I would be in control Anya not Willow. For your reassurance and safety You plus Xander will take Dawn to your apartment.

***

Buffy moved the bed to the middle of the room with ease, While Giles went about candle placing and burning incense.



“Ready” Buffy nodded firmly.



Giles sat cross-legged on the Bed, around his neck he wore a Hematite crystal for guidance and grounding. In front of him he placed a Amethyst for balance and spiritual expansion. Taking Willow’s hand into his the Watcher began to chant.



“In Body I ask to stay, In mind I ask to go. In Mass I request to reside, In essence I pose to leave. In Quantity I will be earth, In awareness I will be Spirit!” With that the watchers body slumped back onto the bed.

***

Giles sat bolt up right, a sharp breath escaping him “Good Lord!” He exclaimed.



Buffy sat urgently on the edge of bed next to the now recent spell caster “what happened?” She pleaded.



“I’m sorry” Giles stated still a little breathless.



“For What? What happened Giles? How do we help her?” Buffy begged of him.



“I shouldn’t have left you...If I’d tried sooner...But I had to see the coven, I needed to know what was next but they had nothing to give us Buffy. Nothing at all” Giles looked down at Willow.



Two small salt streams began to glide down the crevices of the Slayers face “where is she?” Buffy searched her conscious companion’s eyes for hope.



“She is locked in an unfathomable cave drenched in fear and she’s not alone” Giles face became vacant.



“Teach Me Giles, Teach me how to do the spell and I WILL save her” Buffy's’ Slayer instinct took over.



Giles gripped the young woman’s upper arms “these are Willow’s Demons Buffy, Ones we simply can not fight”.

--------

Willow "Thats fine I don't need snuggles" Tara "Vixen".

[Rane]

wow, this is so sad but interesting. i look forward to willow coming out of catatonia and for the happy ending you've promised. giles is back! yay!!!! poo on that coven that couldn't help them. i'm sure there are ways. and it's nice to see the scoobs actually giving a shit about willow

"We're forgetting about the troll. Let's pay attention to the troll." Tara, Triangle

[Wytchi Grrl]

Thanks Rane018. Glad you enjoyed the fic so far, interesting is a good word

Part 4 to be posted soon, Promise something to hold onto in the next part

--------

Willow "Thats fine I don't need snuggles" Tara "Vixen".

[deixs]

I am sure that only Tara can find and help Willow. They allways do!

Keep up the good work



Stef

[Grimlock72]

I wonder why Buffy puts more trust in magic than in science. Heck, I actually agreed with Anya there... thats a Scary Thing(tm) .



It's obvious Willow is grieving and not handling it well, hardly need magic to get that. Willow, for all the dark magic she used, is still a woman mourning the shocking loss of her loved one. Start treating her like that, as opposed to 'a witch who went crazy'. Just a human being grieving her loss, nothing magical about that.



I'll agree that the best way to get Willow out of her current state is to get Tara back, heck most psychiatrists would agree . Wondering how that will work...



Grimmy

"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[SilverWingedNemesis]

Holy cow..don't stop now!! LOL



Give us more!!



Thanx



~Nick~

[Wytchi Grrl]

Thanks Stef, Yep I have a feeling you might be right



Yeah Grimmy, It's weird but don't you find Pens world Anya is always more likable. I think it must be a reflection of a Kitten Personality . I think the Buffy I'm going with is looking for answers in the world she knows for now. We will just have to see if she changes her mind.



Thanks SilverWingedNemesis for the encouragement, Don't Worry no way your stopping me now

--------

Willow "Thats fine I don't need snuggles" Tara "Vixen".

[Wytchi Grrl]

Part 4 - Teeny Tinker bell light



Willow knew she had been alone for a while now, alone again. The Witch knew why, as she’d uttered that name like it was her first word the place once filled with malevolence had become innocent again.



Innocent but cold Willow thoughts traced.



For a brief moment she was sure someone had come to her when she called out, there had been an uplifting sensation. Warmth that had came to her before when Buffy had always arrived in the nick of time. However that seemed lost now. All of it gone.



Willow’s hand stretched out to one side. She could feel ground beneath her, solid and frozen. The redhead had become aware that her body had phased in with mind some time ago. When she found her voice.



My Voice the realization brought Willow something new, a tiny glimmer of hope.



“Hello...Can anyone hear me” the witch sounded weak and raspy.



“Please...If you can...Please help” Tears flowed freely over her face.



Almost instantly the effects took place. Willow found herself sitting, her back against a smooth cool surface. She wasn’t sure how it happened but there she was upright and gaining strength.



“Are you...helping me?” The Redhead sniffed with a smile.



A slight shimmer of light appeared some distance away. Although so teeny its luminosity was blinding to Willow’s unaccustomed eyes. Raising hand to face, She found enough strength to stand.



“Is that you” the witch wobbled as she spoke.



“Hush now” The tone of voice was calming yet assertive.



Although every hair on Willow’s body stood on end she could feel no fear. Somewhere there was recognition for this voice, a place inside could recollect “who are...Are you”



“Come to me” the voice softly interrupted.



The redhead managed small steps forward, Her feet sometimes stumbling over themselves. As the light grew closer she knew somehow this was safe. She was safe now.



The Light now glowed above Willow’s head. She faced a mirror like wall however there was no reflection just a slivery radiance before her.



The witch lifted her fingertips to the glass, pressing her palm down. Serenity seeped into her as delicate fingers fitted into hers like a key to a lock.



“Come to me Baby” the words floated tenderly into Willow’s ears as her body was pulled through to the other side.

--------

Willow "Thats fine I don't need snuggles" Tara "Vixen".

[SilverWingedNemesis]

OH COME ON~~ LOL



loving this!! keep the updates coming!!



~NICKOLE~

[deixs]

You can't leave us hanging there!!!!



Stef

[Wytchi Grrl]

Part 5 - The (so-called) Professionals



The waiting room at Sunnydale Hospital had an uncanny stillness compared to the hustle and bustle that usually takes place in such a location. The Scooby's sat quietly in an orderly fashion, waiting for a bus that would never come.



“I can’t stand this” Buffy bolted up making her fellow companions jump from their sits.



“Err, um, No you’re right we’ve been here an hour now, I will go see if anyone knows anything yet” Giles composed him self before exiting the waiting room.



“It’s ok Buffy, Giles will find out some information and things will be better I promise” Dawn reassured confidently while taking her sister’s hand.



Buffy turned to her sister and lightly stroked the young ones face “you’ve been so strong Dawn; I know how much you’re hurting”



“I have to be T...Tara would want us to be strong for Willow, for each other” Dawn bit down hard on her lip as she tried not to cry.



Buffy couldn’t help but look away at the mention of Tara’s name; she hadn’t even had time to think about the recently departed sorceress, she just couldn’t face it yet. Turning back to her sister she tried “yes we have to be strong for Willow” Her eyes flicked towards Xander and Anya “for everyone”



Unexpectedly Anya threw her hands to her face; A strange squeaky sob escaped the Vengeance demon. A startled Xander offered an arm to comfort her.



“I’m crying Xander, that isn’t an open invitation to man handle me” more peculiar noises followed Anya’s statement.



“An, we have to be Strong to help Willow remember?” Although he was sincere Xander found he grimaced in wait for Anya’s reply.



“Well obviously my kind of helping isn’t strong enough or whatever” The vengeance demons words were left an echo as she disappeared without a trace.



Giles entered the magnolia walled waiting room.



“Giles what’s happening?” The slayer asked urgently.



“Well I spoke...Err where’s Anya gone to?” The Watcher enquired, puzzled.



“That’s not important, You spoke to?” Buffy’s hands waved around frantically as if the motions would speed things up.



“Right Yes, I spoke to Willow’s Doctor and they say...Well the good news is that there is nothing physically wrong but they say she has had some kind of mental break down because of...and she is what they call catatonic”



“Willow’s what?” Dawn interrupted



“It’s like what you said Dawn, Willow’s resting” Buffy told her sister.



“Yes resting, and they are going to keep her here until she wakes up” Giles continued.



“Keep her here? Why can’t we take her home” The Slayer’s questioned.



The Watcher thought carefully for a moment “Ah yes well I think they need to monitor things Buffy, and when Willow wakes up their could be some considerable work to be done. Things that we may be able to help with but the doctors will need to help too”

* * *

In a small room inside the psychiatric ward that night a redheaded sleeping beauty took centre stage. Dressed in a white gown she slumbered peacefully before her friends.



Dawn rested her head on Buffy’s lap who began stroking her hair.



Xander dozed silently head propped up by hand, his elbow ever so often giving way from the armrest disturbing his snooze for a second or so.



Giles sat with his head in a book not really taking in the words but knowing this familiar activity would be comforting to them all.



Dawn lifted her head slightly to speak to her sister “I miss them Buffy”



Her younger sister’s words brought Buffy out of a daze “Huh?”



“Willow, Tara and Mom” Dawns voice appeared wistful, She lay her head slowly back to the cosiness of the lap.



Buffy choked back her tears “I do too; the thing is without at least one of them...Things just seem to fall apart. Three of the most powerful women”



“In more ways than one” Dawn added



“Yep in more ways than one” The Older sister repeated



“Buffy, Willow will be back though?” The teen whispered the question that had been on her mind.



“Sure she will Kiddo” Buffy reassured not totally sure herself.



“I’m not a Kid” Dawn Muttered Sleepily.



“No your not” Buffy let herself fall against the cushioned back of the chair and slowly drifted off to sleep.

--------

Willow "Thats fine I don't need snuggles" Tara "Vixen".

[deixs]

Yes, you did!!!!!!!

I really loved the inttarection between Buffy and Dawn.

And Anya showinh her emotions for the first time!!!!



Stef

[SilverWingedNemesis]

MORE MORE MORE



hehe..this is great





MORE





~NICKOLE~

[Wytchi Grrl]

Lol Ok Nickole I give in next bit coming up.



Steph your gonna hate me



Glad your both enjoying it

--------

Willow "Thats fine I don't need snuggles" Tara "Vixen".

[Wytchi Grrl]

Part 6 - Through the looking Glass



A warm sweet scented breeze caressed Willow’s face, The sounds of birds singing and branches swaying greeted her. She kept her eyes closed taking in the wonderful change of atmosphere. Realising her hand was now empty she looked down and noticed the grass beneath her bare feet. The witch wiggled her toes enjoying the sensation. Looking up the redhead took in her surroundings, She was in a field of the richest green pasture she had ever seen. To one side was a worn in curved path heading towards a forest of apple trees in full bloom, tiny white blossom occasionally falling to the ground.



Taking her first steps in this strange New World she headed for the path Knowing somehow this would lead her to where she needed to go. It was only a short way to the unusual forest where the sky seemed to snow flowers, holding out her hand Willow caught a dainty bloom and studied its velvet texture. It looked like any flower she had seen before but by some means it was unique. Placing it in her pocket the witch continued her journey.



A little time later Willow could see a tiny brook leading away from the path, she didn’t want to the leave the trail but something she couldn’t put her finger on had her intrigued. Following the stream downhill she came to a lake, Its waters crystal clear. Standing at the edge the redhead looked down. The reflection facing her was slender and petite in stature, its eyes, vivid blue and golden locks trailed down beyond the shoulders. Willow reached forward but the image did not “Buffy?” Confused the witch stumbled backwards. The visions eyes widened and then disappeared.



Disorientated Willow found her way back to the path; she was rewarded with a feeling of safety. She could see no end to her course but had to keep going because vaguely she knew something was waiting for her.



Quite a stretch later Willow decided to rest. Unsure why as she was not tired, instead she felt eager almost excited but wanting this impression to last just that little longer. Taking a seat under a tree she considered taking an apple, realising she wasn’t hungry she decided not to but suddenly perplexed at how the tree bared its fruit and flower at the same time.



“Mew” was the sound that disturbed the witch’s thoughts.



“What was...” but before Willow could finish her sentence a tiny black and white kitten bounded from between two trees and sat at her feet, yellow eyes peering up at her.



“Miss Kitty?” Willow questioned more bewildered than ever.



“Mew” the kitten responded as if she knew the Redheads words.



“You’ve got smaller! Has someone shrunk you?” Willow giggled



“Mew” Miss Kitty Fantastico replied on demand.



“How did you get here?” The witch said scanning her surroundings as she spoke.



“Did you come alone?” Willow reached out and stroked the kittens face that responded with a purr.



“We never did change your name” With that she jumped up scooping the startled kitten into her arms and began walking the path again.



“You’re not alone are you miss kitty” Willow whispered while she sped up.



“Not alone at all” the redhead murmured as she broke into a run.



A way up ahead Willow could see she was coming to a clearing and hear the sound of fast running water. In between a particularly large Apple tree and a gushing waterfall that lead into a substantial pound she could see the outline of someone. As she grew closer that someone became a woman. A little closer still and Willow stopped dead in her tracks.

--------

Willow "Thats fine I don't need snuggles" Tara "Vixen".

Edited by: Wytchi Grrl  at: 12/8/02 2:08:32 pm

[deixs]

I think it is Tara!

So, is Miss Kitty dead, too?



Stef

[Wytchi Grrl]

Could it be Tara? hmm We will have to wait and See

Miss Kitty Dead? aw hmm again I think we will have to wait and see

Thanks for your feedback Stef

--------

Willow "Thats fine I don't need snuggles" Tara "Vixen".

[Wytchi Grrl]

Part 7 - To dream a little Dream



Buffy woke with a jump “Willow!“



Dawn who was still asleep on her lap tumbled to the floor “Ow!”

“Err...Dawn are you ok?” The slayer rubbed her eyes trying to focus on her sister now sitting in front of her.



“I guess, What’s your problem?” Dawn rubbed her soon to be bruised rump.



“I was dreaming I think, nothing to worry about as long as your ok” Buffy helped Dawn to her feet.



“Buffy you mentioned Willow as you woke?” Giles enquired concerned.



“Oh that, I’m just worried it must be transferring to the world of nightmarish things too” The Slayer stood and made her way over to the Redheads bed.



“Just a dream?” Giles pushed.



Knowing where Giles was going with this Buffy decided to change the subject “so how is she this morning? Have the doc’s been in?”



“Yep they were in about half-hour ago Buff, there’s been no change to the restful one” Xander offered.



“You guys go home, get some proper sleep and take this one with you” Buffy playfully slapped her sister on the butt.



“Hey!” Dawn scowled “that spot already hurts you know”.



“Yes well I think Buffy’s right, Xander you take Dawn home for shower and respite, I will stay a little longer” the watcher instructed.



“But I” Dawn started.



“No you and Xander can come back later and give me a Buffy the chance to do the same” Giles made his serious face.



Xander and Dawn collected their stuff and left.



Buffy perched on Willow’s bed and gently shook her leg “Hey you, When you going to wake up and give us all a break eh?” The Slayers eyes brimmed with tears.



“Now this dream Buffy” Giles spoke up.



“I had a feeling you might bring that up, why is it whenever I have a slightly over active case of the r.e.m‘s there‘s a Spanish inquisition?” Buffy wiped her eyes and turned to face her Watcher.



“So not a prophecy then?” Giles quizzed tentatively.



“I was somewhere else, someplace not here, as in this planet. I could feel that. Will was there, She looked afraid and shocked to see me. I tried to call out to her but I couldn’t and she backed away and well I woke up” Buffy looked down at her hands “It was so real Giles but no big insights”



“I’m sorry Buffy” Giles performed his trademark spectacle cleaning.



“Well I guess this really is a case for the practitioner types” the slayer sighed.

***

Later that day, after the group had disassembled and reassembled refreshed and ready for Willow watch, the room seemed somewhat darker. The Scooby’s were losing hope.



“Xander have you seen Anya since yesterday” Dawn questioned the carpenter sitting across from her.



Xander started “Anya”



“It’s rude to talk about people when they’re not there Xander!” Anya suddenly ported in infront of them.



“An, where you been? We were worried” the carpenter gently encouraged.



“No you were not” the vengeance demon shot at Xander then to the group “I have information”



“Information? What do you mean Information?” Buffy got her slayer on.



“I was in a demon bar, that’s where we demon types drink you know actually not just demon bars other places too and” Anya began to spiral off the subject.



“Anya!” The slayer interrupted.



“Oh yes anyway I was talking to this havelvich demon called Gorsjinc’s, ugly looking things havelviches, horrible poky red eyes. Well he was pretty pissed I can tell you, his mission had failed and he wasn’t looking forward explaining that to the under beings” The vengeance demon smiled as she spoke.



“That has what to do with us?” Xander interjected.



“As I was saying this mission, something big is going to happen”



Buffy heaved a sigh and shook her head “Oh no, no big bads at the moment please!”



“Not big bad Buffy big good, Or that’s what I can make out from what he told me” Anya explained.



“What exactly did he tell you?” Giles questioned.



“Well that something big was going on right now” Anya turned to face Willow and pointed her finger towards the peaceful looking witch “and it has to do with her”

--------

Willow "Thats fine I don't need snuggles" Tara "Vixen".

[Wytchi Grrl]

Part 8 - A Willow and Tara Moment



Willow’s heart caught in her throat, For a moment she thought she may be sick, Stumbling forward her vision became blurred as she fell to her knees in front of what Willow could only describe as a dream. To frightened to face her apparition the witch kept her eyes to the ground.



“Willow” The Voice was so calm and beautiful almost sedative.



Willow found strength in the connection she made. She had known what she had been running too but still she had not let herself believe it.



“T-Tara?” Willow reached out to touch, she was so sure her beloved would disappear as her fingertips found hers like so many times before.

Tara slowly knelt down taking her Willow’s hand “Oh Willow”



“I...Uh...Tara...I don’t” The redhead struggled to find the sentence there were no words for.



“Shh it’s ok baby, its all Ok” Tara gently removed a red lock from Willow’s face and placed it neatly behind her ear.



Suddenly Willow rushed forward, Tara opened her arms. So powerful their embrace one would have surely fallen if they both hadn’t welcomed the encounter so much.



They stayed that way for a long time. Neither one wanting to let go eventually Tara pulled away just enough to look into her lovers emerald eyes.



“I’ve been waiting for you” the blond whispered “I’ve been calling to you, trying to find you”



“I came, you found me” Willow cried.



Taking Willows hands into hers Tara spoke softly “I know you’re afraid, I know you’ve have many questions, I hear you, I feel you Willow” Tara lowered her head.



“You can feel me? I-I’m so sorry you couldn’t imagine how sorry I am or maybe you can?” The redhead’s voice was broken by sobs “I-I am so sorry Tara, I’m so wrong, What’s wrong with me?” Hope and sadness filled the witches eyes as she stared back for her answers.



Tara cupped Willow smooth face with both hands softly wiping away the tears with her thumbs. She knew she couldn’t even begin to explain things and she didn’t think she could ever bare to hear Willow talk about what had happened for to see anymore pain in her soul her heart would surely break.



“I know” the blond murmured and placed Willow’s hand on her heart. Only a few moments felt like days as images exchanged between the pairs mind, Tara had seen it all before but it was worth it as she knew the peace that now filled her filled her loved one. Tears of happiness fell down both their cheeks.



“I feel you” Willow managed with that they fell upon each other’s necks.

***

Willow opened her eyes to find herself in bed back in her old dorm room, her panic diminished when she still felt Tara’s arms around her. Looking up at sparkling white fairy lights above them she questioned “why am I here?”



“Huh baby? Oh I thought you might feel more comfortable here” Tara replied for a moment lost in her own thoughts.



“Yes I do, I like it here I like it there as long as...but why am here with you?” The redhead turned onto her side to face the blond.



“You know that Sweetie, you felt it remember?” Tara’s eyes smiled.



“I know why you’re here but not me” Willow ran her hands through her partner’s silky hair.



Tara let her mind wonder for awhile “Well it was a mistake you see all of it so I was given a choice I still had work to do but I couldn’t anymore, not on the same level, I could go or come here because of what h-happened you have a choice too”



“But” the witch tried.



“We were both victims Willow we both get the choice” the blond reassured.



“And Miss kitty?” The Kitten suddenly bounded on to the bed and playfully pressed her head against Willow’s hand.



“Ah now she was easier to find, I made the choice for her” Tara laughed as she picked up the purring ball of fluff.



“We wouldn’t be a family without her” Willow smiled.



“Sweetie you have to make your choice first” the blond pointed out with sadness in her heart.



“What choice is there to make?” Willow asked concerned.



“Well y-you can stay or g-go back” Tara became nervous but knew she had to make her other half understand the decision.



“I can’t leave you, I c-can’t lose you ever again” the red head felt her voice raise and crack.



The blonde averted her eyes and spoke so quietly Willow could barely hear “You would be ok, you would get better I know this”



“Not really, I’d never be ok I know this too” Willow took Tara’s delicate fingers into hers “But I will be now”



“Are you s-sure?” Tara couldn’t stop the tears.



Willow answered by placing her lips gently on to Tara’s. Their Moist kisses fell deep into passion until they became lost in each other’s bodies and minds.

***

Willow felt the small soft blossom falling gracefully onto her cheek. She saw Miss kitty playing with her own bloom at their feet.



“Tara, Baby?”



“Hmm?” Tara managed entranced in her girlfriend’s vanilla aroma.



“I almost forgot, this for you” Willow produced the earlier collected flower from her pocket.



“Thank you princess” She knew the significance, how Willow had taken it for her even before she had known whom for.



“Tara?”



“Yes sweetie?” Tara smiled knowing there would be a few more questions.



“Why did you chose to come here, when you could of gone to...heaven?” Willow asked throwing and catching more blossom.



“I knew I wasn’t finished and without you heaven didn’t have the right meaning” Tara held Willows hand tight.



The soothing breeze encircled them, sweet sounds of the water rushing and the leaves rustling added to their comfort. The grass beneath them became their bed, the trunk of the apple tree their headrest. As the world rushed on without them they knew everything and still had peace. In their silence Tara spoke without the form of words “Willow, What about Buffy?”

--------

Willow "Thats fine I don't need snuggles" Tara "Vixen".

[SilverWingedNemesis]

MORE MORE MORE



okay..hehe..sorry..leaving now!









That was great!!





~NICKOLE~

[Grimlock72]

... just where is Willow ?? Is she dreaming ? She probably doesn't want to exit that dream anytime soon, docters might confuse that with coma... or is it coma ? Hmm... questions, questions...



"what about Buffy".. indeed, what about her . Choosing between Buffy and Tara, shouldn't be too hard, heh. Doing your duty is nice for a short time but you got to live your own life too.



Where do we go from here....



Grimmy

"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[Wytchi Grrl]

Hey Kitties



Nickole-I'm so glad you are enjoying it, there are only two more parts to come but fear not there will be a much longer follow on!



Grimmy-Are yes questions Well I can assure you Willow is not dreaming, although she probably feels she is !

Where they are is difficult to explain so I wont but hopefully the next part will completely clear that up for you

As for Buffy isn't Tara so considerate? Personally I wouldn't of given her a second thought lol-oh well we will have to wait and see



take care all



Wytchi x

--------

Willow "Thats fine I don't need snuggles" Tara "Vixen".

[Wytchi Grrl]

Part 9 - Say your Goodbyes



Buffy paced Willow’s room hands on hips “Lets get this straight Anya, Willow isn’t sick, she is somewhere ‘else’ where ‘something’ big but good is happening?”



“Yes!” Anya exasperated look towards Giles “Is she not hearing me right?”



“We’re hearing you An, we just not sure what you mean” Xander offered.



“I will say it again, Willow was all-sick with the Magic’s and what happened with Tara. She became lost in her own dimension to punish herself-the under beings wanted her to stay that way because frankly they were non to happy with the idea of uber witch here getting hold of there little dark secrets” the vengeance demon stopped to draw breath “That was when they sent the halevich demon to stop what ever force was trying to help Willow”



“What force Anya?” Giles tried to put the pieces together.



“Well I don’t know, I thought you were the one with the answers Giles?” Anya shook her head in disbelief “What do you want from me?”

Everyone was now standing, unsure of his or her next move.



“The way I see it is we have to talk to Willow find out if this is all true” Buffy began “We don’t know if this demon is telling the truth, I pose we get it from the horses mouth”



“That’s fine, never trust the word of a demon!” Anya placed her arms across her chest “Are you calling Willow a horse?” She added puzzled.



“How do you suppose we do that?” Xander asked ignoring the grim faced vengeance demon.



“A spell! Like before with Giles” Dawn piped up enthusiastically feeling a little useless in this part of the proceedings.



“Yes Dawn like before with the spell but this time we will all go” the slayer confirmed.



“Ah Buffy I’m not sure that’s wise, this is very powerful magic’s maybe not fit for your layman per se” Giles stated with a worried expression.



Buffy reconsidered for a moment “No I say we all go, It’s nothing we haven’t encountered before, I have a feeling we’re all going to want to be in on this”

***

An Hour later, after all supplies had been gathered the group found themselves holding hands around the ultimate spell casters bed. As Giles chanted the last words of the incantation they felt the black haze fall over their essence while they fell to the pillow covered floor.

***

Buffy opened her eyes and saw the fairest blue sky. As she pushed herself upwards she noticed her friends pull themselves to their feet “Is everyone ok?” Was reciprocated by mumbling sounds of yes.



Looking forward her eyes set on Willow and another woman who looked just like “Tara?” Dawn suddenly cried and rushed forward to her open arms almost knocking the sorceress from her feet.



“Oh my God, Tara” Buffy felt the tears fall freely.



“Dear lord” Giles exclaimed.



“Hey guys” Willow grinned widely “We were wondering when you were gonna show”



“Will, how? What?” Xander Tried to no avail and found himself in the arms of his best friend.



“I don’t understand any of this” Buffy added now trying to get in on the great Tara hug by prying Dawn free.



“Giles I have a feeling you might be responsible for guiding everyone here” Tara spoke gently pulling herself free from the slayers grip.



“Err...Yes” Giles couldn’t help but beam.



“With my help” Anya nodded her head emphatically.



“I’m Sure” Tara gave a friendly smirk and gestured for everyone to come sit by the Apple tree “Come, We Have a lot to talk about”

***

A substantial time later, after many more hugs, Tara and Willow explained what they knew so far and the choices they had made. Every ones faces had dropped when they had heard Willow’s decision but felt there was no argument with love this strong it had found it’s way to literally overcome all.



“So what now” Xander asked feeling the pull of his world heavy on his shoulders.



“We say our goodbyes” Buffy acknowledged eyes down, hands gripping the grass beneath her.



“And what you stay here?” Dawn directed at Tara, her heart felt heavy knowing the answer “Where are we exactly?” She added.



“Another Dimension remember” Anya answered proudly.



“Similar but not quite, its another place, another time. A place where me and Willow can do more to help than we could back home” Tara looked into Dawn’s sad eyes “We will still be part of the scoobyage, just not in the same way”



“Well I for one am happy we now have two higher beings looking out for us” with that Anya phased out in front of them.



“Huh? Can she do that here?” Xander asked the question on all their lips.



“She made peace” Tara said quietly.



“Oh no I haven’t made peace yet” Xander quickly added checking his hands for signs of disappearing.



“Xander it’s ok, it really is I’m happy, for the first time I feel complete like completely complete” Willow took his hand in hers gently swaying it from side to side. Xander couldn’t help but smile he experienced a warmth deep inside before he followed Anya.



Giles nodded at Buffy then to Tara and Willow with resolve “I’m so pleased for you both, I suspect we will meet again” and disappeared.



“I-I won’t go; I won’t leave you” Dawn squeaked.



“It’s ok Dawnie, Willow and I are safe now, you’re not to worry” Tara Knew Dawn would not find resolution so easily, She lent forward and took the young woman into her arms. Letting her own tranquillity flow into her. Dawn gave Tara a teary eyed smile before she became absent.



All three left stood up and faced each other.



“So you two are all the higher beings now?” Buffy stalled for time.



“Not so much with the high, things are pretty equal here, or so far as I can tell” Willow Shrugged with a goofy grin.



"A part of me wants to stay"



"Oh no Buffy it’s not your time, you've got a whole big destiny

Thing going on including a certain leather clad vamp to sort out, lots

Of big bads to slay and of course there’s Angel" Willow babbled.



"Sweetie" Tara's tone seemed stern but that little half smile gave

Everything away.



"Whoops, yes the whole all knowingness, I still have a lot to learn" the redhead giggled.



"A Scholar Willow is a happy Willow" Buffy couldn't help but grin.

***

Buffy found herself back with her friends inside the room once emerged in sorrow. All of them Looking towards the redheads form on the bed before them. Willow simply faded from existence, as they knew it.

----------------------------------------------------------



Part 10 - epilogue - Forever Found.



Tara and Willow sat together under their tree bodies entwined, a little black and white kitty purring sweetly on their lap. Three Parts of a jigsaw now complete.



Willow looked deep into her beloved’s eyes "I'm done with the whole

Being apart business, How bout you?"



Tara smiled her little smile "Yes definitely had enough of the whole

Half of me is missing stuff"



"Yep lets not do that anymore" Willow said placing head on Tara's

Shoulder and closing her eyes with knowledge that if she should

Open them her baby would be there always.



"We won't" Tara answered resting her head on her Lovers.



"I could stay like this forever" the redhead murmured dreamily.



"We've things to do but they can wait" the blond whispered.



The End - or until the sequel anyway

------------------------------------------------------------



Woo ok I can admit now been so nervous of posting fic here in pens where they are so many excellent writers, some of which have actually given me feed back-yay! So yes many thanks to kitties for all feedback so far. Anymore so very much appreciated. If wanted i will be writing a much longer sequel to this fic, have lots of W/T love, Twists and surprises already in mind .

Anyway thanks again.



Wytchi x

--------

Willow "Thats fine I don't need snuggles" Tara "Vixen".

[deixs]

What a great and at the same time sad ending!

Please write a sequel.



Stef

[Little M]

That was really good!!!!!!! Sooooooooo sad but really good

----------------------


'I go online sometimes, but everyone's spelling is really bad..it's depressing' - Tara

[Grimlock72]

ah.... if Tara can't come to Willow... I guess Willow just has to go to Tara



Willow with all the knowledge, must be fun for her Lots of things to bable about for sure, lotsa other things to do first though, heh. Yes, it is sad seeing the other scoobies say goodbye but appearantly they can come visit easily enough.



Nice that none of the scoobies tried to talk Willow out of it and have her come back. Guess they got smart last summer and realized Willow needs Tara.



Grimmy

"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[SilverWingedNemesis]

Great fic!!



Made me happy!!



Thanks!!!



can't wait for the sequal!





~NICKOLE~

------------

[Taras Shadow]

Shelley



I just want to say first of all, that I am very sorry I did not leave feedback sooner.



This has been a wonderful fic. You should be proud! Grimmy's right...if Tara can't go to Willow, then Willow will just have to go to her. Excellent! I never thought of it that...



I greatly admired this story.



Beautiful!



~Holly~



Show me where to touch you-Tara-It Ain't Fickle

Mommy, how come monkey's can't talk?-Odette

Edited by: Taras Shadow  at: 12/13/02 10:50:44 am