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Fic: More Than A Feeling

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goooo Grease Lightning

Postby ally02 » Tue Aug 06, 2002 7:00 pm

Yeah i should have thought of that song...even though its kind of a long connection but still! And yes I think you definately deserve that title...did I mention that I am STILL waiting and have just rambled to my friend the cliffhanger and he is so not interested!! *sigh* Men...ummm...no offense he he!!



love Aly xxxx

You all didnt happen to do a bunch of drugs did ya?

ally02
 


An update you say, here's part 24

Postby spazz07 » Wed Aug 07, 2002 2:11 pm

Darn Salem Judges - Get your seat ready for more wiggling as i'm about to update here. :) I hope you get this before you go away although with the cliffhanger at the end you may want to wait :)



Ange - Glad that this story is rereadable, hope you like the update. :)



Aly - Men pfft wait a sec *notices an extra appendege* Oh yeah, HEY!!!! :) well your waiting ends here and well maybe it begins again because there's a nice little surpirse at the end again. :)



Okay done with the replies and onto a small personal note if i may. There wont be an update until Sunday at the earliest after this, having a bit of a rough time at the moment, just found out my uncle has terminal cancer today and tosay my mum is a little disdraught is the understatement of the century. Pretty sad it can happen to a man in his mid thirties, doesn't smoke, drinks in moderation and has a four year old son. It's gonna be a tough time so bare with me if there is a small gap in updates though writing and coming onto the board is often a nice escape from the drugery that is reality. Anyway thanks for letting me say my piece and without much further ado...



Title - More than a Feeling



Author’s Name - Nathan



Rating - M15+ recommended for mature viewing audience. But hey I’m not ya mum so I ain’t gonna spank ya, unless ya want me too.



Disclaimer - These Char’s belong to Joss and ME and totally not mine.

Also title is also a song by Boston but so also listen to it if you get the chance cause its good.



Feedback - Totally, unless you don’t wanna say anything, but u could if u wanted to.



Summary - Totally AU, this fic doesn’t have a hellmouth, demons the weekly apocalypse or even vamp’s for that fact. It’s set the summer before senior high (I may not be a Yank but I’m pretty sure I know how ya calendar runs). Oh yeah lots of Willow & Tara goodness.



Part 24 will she or won’t she part II



“I… want to take you up on your offer, go with you to England.” Willow blurted out before she could change her mind. Giles was rather shocked at the admission, he’d expected her to want to stay after what had happened at the house.



“What about Tara?” He asked, still in his confused daze.



“She… she wants me to go, she thinks it’d be great for me.” Willow replied, her head slumping towards the floor. Giles stood there in silence, not sure what to do with himself so he eventually wrapped the slender girl in his arms and offered a caring embrace. Willow was like a daughter to him or a really close niece at least, and he had grown rather attached to her over the last few years. He hated seeing her upset and he wished he could make it all go away.



“She’s only doing it because she loves you Willow, there is no other reason than that, you’d have to be blind, deaf and stupid not to realise how much she loves you and even then it wouldn’t be a very good excuse.” Giles reassured her as he continued to hold the girl in a comforting embrace.



“I know she does, it’s what makes this whole thing so hard.” Giles looked down at Willow after she finished talking. He tried to smile down at her as he knew he should be happy that she’d be going with him, he just couldn’t bring himself to smile at the moment yet though as tears flowed quite freely down cheek.



………….



Tara sat on the couch in her lounge room channel surfing, but not even really noticing what was on the t.v anyway. Her mind was racing around a certain redhead who had completely overtaken her life these last eight months. She missed Willow already and it would still be a few weeks before she left if she was going at all. Tara stood up and flicked the t.v off.



“If she’s going, I should be making the most of my time with her now right?” She talked out loud to herself. Right on cue she heard a knock at the front door. She made her way over and opened it, Willow was standing on her front porch, and her face slowly raising from the ground to meet the pools of blue that awaited her.



“Willow.” Was all Tara could say, almost not believing that her girlfriend was standing there right now. She looked over the redhead’s body, her legs hidden by a long floral skirt, her stomach and breasts covered by the light cotton sweater that she wore, her long slender arms crossed just beneath her chest. She moved her gaze along her girlfriend’s neck, finding a certain spot she knew she’d touched a thousand time before. She trailed her gaze up the copper tresses, finally coming into sight of the amazing green eyes that she so often lost herself in.



“Come in.” She finally offered as she eventually regain focus, moving out of the way so the redhead could walk past. Willow offered a simple “thanks” and made her way into the living room. She stood next to the coffee table as Tara made her way over.



“Did you want to sit down?” Tara asked cautiously, pointing to one of the seats. Willow just shook her head, and continued to stare at the floor in front of her. Willow’s actions were making Tara more than a little nervous and she began to panic.



“Can you please say something Will, talk to me.” She begged and Willow finally raised her eyes so they were level with the blonde’s.



“I’m going.” She let out softly, the hurt of the decision still evident in her tone. Tara caught on straight away to what she was talking about.



“To England?” She responded, needed to fears to be confirmed. Willow just nodded her head, confirming the blonde’s thoughts.



“Oh, I-I think you made the right choice Will, I-I’m sure you’ll have a great time in England.” Tara replied as her head slumped and her gaze shifted to the carpet. She knew deep down it was what Willow should do, but still it tore at her so badly.



“I’m not going for fun, it could never be any fun without you, I’m going because it’s a great opportunity for an eighteen year old and it doesn’t mean you or I wont be here in four years time.” Willow finally spoke up, allaying some of the millions of thoughts that had gone through her head in making this decision.



“No, no it doesn’t.” Tara confirmed the redhead’s views without lifting her eyes once.



Willow and Tara just stood there, neither looking up at the other as the reality started to set in. It was an uncomfortable silence but neither made any moves to end it. Tara wondered if this is what their last few weeks would be like and she knew right then and there that it couldn’t.



“Do you want to go to the prom with me?” Tara asked out of the blue and startled Willow somewhat.



“Of course, I mean I wouldn’t go with anyone else but you.” Willow half smiled up at Tara and was relieved to see Tara return the smile as unconvincing as it was, it was still a smile.



“I don’t want our last few weeks together to be like this, all awkward and silent, there will be plenty of time for that when I have to watch you get on the plane.” Tara was trying so hard to hold her tears back as she tried to explain why she asked.



“Oh god I have to watch you get on a plane.” Tara broke down and Willow was at her side in a flash. She pulled the blonde into an intimate embrace and slowly stroked the blonde hair of her lover as Tara cried into her shoulder. Willow’s stomach churned at the thought of leaving this amazing specimen of the human race. She knew herself, stepping onto the plane would be the hardest step of her life, but having thought things through continuously, she knew what she had to do.



……………



The few weeks that passed until their senior prom were spent in the most intimate of moments between Willow and Tara. Every time Willow kissed Tara it seemed as though Tara was savouring every kiss, and Willow knew she was doing the same. When they made love, each of them explored every single inch of the others body, neither wanting to forget a single freckle of the love of their lives. They were always holding hands whilst in the presence of their friends, or anyone else for that matter. The contact of the flesh that it caused was vital to their everyday life and neither felt they could live without it. The only thing that would stop you from being mistaken that they were a newly married couple was the intense look each shared in their eyes. The love and passion that they shared was quite obvious but so was the sorrow they felt for their parting which was just over the horizon. The tinge of sadness in their eyes reminded everyone else how lucky they were to be with someone and they all made sure they expressed it.



Buffy clung to Angel’s arm, her lime green evening gown, standing out against Angel’s tux. Cordelia was dressed in a dark navy blue dress, a slit up the side of one leg showing off her hard work as a cheerleader, her dress blended in quite nicely with Donnie’s tux to her right. Anya was dressed to the nines in a long black evening gown. It showed the curves of her slender body quite nicely as she clung closely onto a tuxedo clad Xander. Willow waited for her love at the bottom of the stairs, She was wearing a light purple evening gown that showed off plenty of skin. She’d even let Anya perm her red hair for the special occasion and frilly red locks hung loosely around her ears.



Willow’s jaw dropped as she witnessed the most stunning one of all walk down the stairs. Tara was dressed in a light blue evening gown with her hair neatly pulled back in a braid. Tara smiled as she saw Willow and had to try hard to keep her own jaw from dropping at the sight of the gorgeous redhead.



“Wow, you look positively stunning.” Was all Willow could manage to splutter out as her eyes struggled to stay within their sockets.



“You look great too, I love you hair.” Tara smiled back, her soft tone heavenly.



“Oh that was me, I did her hair and made her look beautiful.” Anya shouted excitedly, raising her hand high in the air and jumping up and down to bring attention to herself. Tara smiled at her as Xander just nodded his head in embarrassment. All the parents filled the Maclay household as pictures were being taken one of each respective couple, one of the guys, one of the girls and finally individual ones. It filled the house with a certain amount of joy and brought smiles to everyone’s faces.



………..



Couples rocked up together and mingled amongst themselves at the party. There were people dancing, others talked privately while some of the less popular kids found themselves sitting at tables by themselves.



Tara noticed all of them and felt extremely sorry for the people here alone, as she knew it was only a matter of time before she joined their ranks. She had intended to cling onto Willow the whole night but the sight of so many happy couples meant she needed to get away from it all. She found a quiet spot away from the party and pulled out a carton of cigarettes she’d stowed away in her purse. She pulled one out and lit it as she placed it between her lips. She inhaled deeply, a sudden sense of relief washing over her.



“Didn’t know you smoked.” Buffy stated as she spotted Tara light up, she’d seen the blonde sneak of and followed to see what was up.



Tara didn’t even flinch at Buffy’s words, which may have made someone else jump a mile as the smaller blonde had practically some out of nowhere.



“I don’t.” was her simple reply as she offered the carton in Buffy’s direction. Buffy hesitated a moment before taking one and putting it between her lips. Tara lit it up for her and Buffy breathed in, coughing and spluttering at the sudden foul taste in her mouth.



“See I’m an old pro, lungs are all gooey already.” Buffy said, between spitting out the taste in her mouth. Tara giggled at the sight and took another quick puff on her cigarette.



“You don’t have to Buffy, I was just being nice.” Tara smiled to her friend who keenly returned it.



“Thanks, blah, they taste awful, I don’t understand how you can sit there and put that thing in your mouth. Does Willow know about this?” Buffy’s tone suddenly changed to a concerned one and Tara’s face drooped at the mention of the woman she loved so much.



“No, I don’t usually do this, it’s the first time I’ve done it since being in New York, I started doing it after my mother died.” Tara explained to Buffy as she removed the cigarette from her mouth, looked at it and quickly squashed what was remaining. She sighed and slumped back against the wall. Slowly sliding down it until she sat on the ground. Buffy found a ripe spot right next to her and parked her own but down so she was sitting next to Tara.



“Two weeks Buffy, two weeks is all I have left before she jets off.” Tara sighed, she didn’t bother to look at the blonde as she spoke, she instead gazed of into the stars.



“I know, it terrifies me to think what it’s gonna be like without her around, she’s been here forever and now she’s not.” Buffy replied, she glanced once over to Tara then joined her in gazing at the stars.



“I know I may seem a little self centred about this sometimes Buffy, but I want you to know that I think Willow leaving is probably just as hard, if not harder on you than it is me.” Tara turned her gaze towards Buffy and git a smile in return from Buffy who had shifted her gaze back at the taller girl once she started talking.



“You’re right I’m gonna miss her, but not nearly as much as you will Tara, you two have a bond that is so unique, I think everyone else is gonna miss you two being together just as much as we will Willow. You guys are our rock, you’s are so strong in your love and yet it’d be so easy for you two to be so hidden and not so forthright with it. I just hope every other relationship doesn’t fall over because Willow is leaving.”



“You better not, I’m gonna need to live vicariously through you guys for four years.” Tara smiled back at Buffy.



“Wow, you really think you can last four years?” Buffy asked, more amazed than shocked.



“You said it yourself Buffy, it’s a unique bond, and if I have to wait four years or forty years, I know I’ll get my Willow back.” Tara once again pushed at the tears that always threatened to overwhelm her when she talked about the redhead in these last few weeks.



“Tara, you know once Willow goes, your, you know, still gonna wanna hang right?” Buffy asked sheepishly, hoping against hope that the taller blonde would still find her friendship needed once Willow left.



“Of course, I don’t think of you as Willow’s friend any more, more of a Willow and my friend.” Tara smiled after the initial shock of the question.



“Good, because after Willow, you’re probably the closest female friend I have.” Buffy smiled sadly up at Tara.



“Hey I’m gonna need a friend through all of this as well, we can help each other though it.” Tara smiled and pulled Buffy into a friendly hug. Buffy was a bit apprehensive at first but it didn’t take long for her to settle down.



“Trying to steal my girlfriend here hey?” Willow asked playfully as she came across the hugging duo.



“Hey Will, I was just keeping her warm for ya.” Buffy smiled up at her best friend.



“I should go find Angel, don’t want to leave him around Xander to long.” Buffy laughed and got up to go look for her boyfriend.



“So?” Tara asked as she looked up at her girlfriend.



“So, I say we go inside to dance before we retire to that hotel room you booked for us.” Willow smiled down at Tara as she offered her hand to help the blonde to her feet.



“Vixen.” Tara smiled up at Willow as she accepted Willow’s offered hand and got to her feet.



“Is it just me or does it smell like cigarette smoke out here?” Willow asked as her nose settled in on the smell.



“Someone probably came out here before.” Tara shrugged as she quickly popped a mint in her mouth and then led the redhead back around the front to the rest of the population.



…………..



They had soon retired to the rented hotel room. They’d both laughed when Donnie and Cordelia were crowned king and queen of the prom and Anya had chided Xander for not being cool enough and told him in college he was joining the football team. Willow had made sure not to let go of the blonde’s hand once more throughout the night, as she didn’t want to loose her again. They had gotten a strange look of the young man at the front counter who handed them the keys. They guessed it was pretty obvious what they’d be using the room for, especially the way the clung to each other in the foyer.



The lovemaking had been sweet and pure. They’d just sat on the bed kissing, slowly moving their hands all over the others body for what seemed like hours. They made sure that every climax they experienced was as intense if not more so than the previous one. They’d finally given way to the exhaustion that overcame them from a passionate night together and had drifted off into a peaceful slumber.



In the morning Willow rolled over in her naked state, reaching her arm out to wrap around her lover. The emptiness of the bed caused her open her eyes in a startled state as she longed for the touch of her lover.



“Tara, Tara where are you?” She called out, hoping the blonde was in the adjacent bathroom. When she got no reply she started to get worried. She wrapped the sheet around her body and made over to the bathroom. No sign of her blonde goddess in here and now she really started to panic. She went back into the room and noticed Tara’s clothes from the night before were gone. She walked over and opened a closet where she and Tara had stored clean clothes before they headed out to the prom. When she only saw her set there, her mind wen into overdrive. She sat back down on the bed, hoping against hope that Tara had just gone out to get something.



After waiting for what seemed like forever Willow had decided that Tara wasn’t coming back and made her way to the shower. She showered and changed into her own set of clean clothes and gathered everything that was hers. She made her way down to the front desk where she met the same young man from the night before, she wondered if he lived here but then realised she didn’t really care. She handed over the key.



“There anything I owe you, money or the what not?” She asked, getting her credit card ready.



“No your blonde friend payed for everything when she left.” The young man responded with a chirpy smile that annoyed Willow. He took the key and hung it up on the rack behind him.



“What time did she leave?” Willow asked, hoping he would be forthcoming with the information.



“About seven o’clock this morning.” He replied in the same chirpy voice. Willow looked at her watch and noticed it was now ten thirty. Her face slumped at three and half-hours of lost time with her love.



Willow made her way outside and hailed a cab. It was a lonely ride and all Willow could think about at the moment was what was running though Tara’s head.



When they finally pulled up outside Willow’s house, she jumped out of the car, paying the cabbie and flying up her front path. She raced inside, flung her stuff in her room and made her way back down and out the front door. In two minutes flat, she’d gone from pulling up in front of her yard to dropping her stuff of and standing at the front door to the Maclay household. She held her breath for a moment then knocked on the door. She waited patiently, rubbing her hands together to keep them busy. She looked up when the front door opened.



“Willow, what are you doing here?” The confused voice echoed through Willow’s head.



“Steve, is Tara home, I really need to talk to her?” Willow asked pleadingly with Tara’s father.



“No I thought she was with you, did you two have a fight?” Steve asked a little worried for his daughter himself now.



“No I don’t think so, it’s just when I woke up, she wasn’t there. I waited for her to comeback and she never did and the guy as the front desk said she left now I don’t know where she is.



Steve was enjoying a rather quiet time at home alone. Tara and Donnie were both out for the night and he had spent plenty of time relaxing and reading. He’d treated himself to some Chinese food and was generally having a good time by himself. The news that his daughter was now missing though caused him to panic momentarily.



“I’ll try a few places and see if I can get in contact with her, I’ll be sure to tell her that you were looking for her.” Steve although panicking on the inside remained calm and cool and the outside as he wanted the allay the fears of the redhead somewhat.



“Thanks Steve, and when you talk to her, please tell her if I did something, I’m really sorry and I didn’t mean it, whatever it was.” Willow begged up at the older man. Steve softened at the desperate approach of his daughter’s girlfriend. He loved Willow like a daughter as well, she’d spent so much time at his place over the past eight months it seemed as though she was part of the family. He really did hope that if there were a problem it would be fixed rather quickly, as he was well aware of Willow’s departure.



“No worries Willow, you go home and get some rest, you look like you could use it. I’ll be sure to ring you if something comes up.” Steve smiled though the door and received a small half smile in response.



“Thanks Steve, you’re the best.” Willow said as she slowly turned away and headed back for her place. Steve closed the door behind her and made his way over to the phone. The punched in a few numbers and heard the ringing through the phone.



“Hello” Came the voice from the other end of the line.



“Evelyn, its Steve. I think Tara may be on her way up there. If she shows up can you have her ring home please.” He asked into the phone.



“Oh sure thing Steve, is she bringing her friend along again this time.” Evelyn asked about the girl who accompanied Tara during the Thanksgiving Day weekend.



“No I’m pretty sure she’ll be alone.” Steve replied into the phone, he wanted his baby to be alright and knew that if she needed someone it should be him, though he knew she’d go to the place that reminded her most of her mother.



………..



The phone rang and brought Steve out of his mild slumber. He’d fallen asleep on the couch as he waited for Tara’s phone call. The shrill of the phone battered through his head as he leapt up and answered it.



“Hello.” He answered, still shrugging of the after effects of just waking up.



“Hi Daddy, it’s me. I’m at Aunt Evelyn’s place.” Tara’s voice travelled through the line, her voice picked him up out of his daze and he suddenly sat bolt upright.



“Tara, Willow came and saw me, is everything alright?” He asked, worry all over his voice.



“Fine Daddy, just you know, I needed to get away. I look at her and god It breaks my heart to think it may be the last time.” Tara sounded so dejected and it cut through her father like a hot knife with butter.



“You realise if you don’t see her again, you’ve seen her for the last time then?” Steve sounded worried, he didn’t want things to end between his daughter and the girl she loved like this.



“I know, it’s easier this way. If I have to keep looking at her, it’s only gonna get worse. At least now I can start you know, healing.”



“When are you gonna be home?” Steve asked, still showing his obvious concern for his little girl.



“Well graduations on Friday, so I’ll be home before then.” Tara theorised as she went over it again in her head.



“You realise Willow will be there. She’s graduating as well in case you forgot. You’ll see her there and she’ll see you. It’ll be unavoidable.” He made sure his daughter understood everything and he hoped she’d still wanna come back after learning this new information.



“I know.” Tara answered after a short pause. It had only jut struck her and she thought herself dumb. She knew she’d have to see Willow again but for now what she needed was some time to think. She’d done plenty of it and she was sure there was still plenty more to do.



…………..



The graduation had been your everyday run of the mill graduation. Diplomas had been handed out to kids dressed in funny robes. After all was said and done, hats were flung high into the sky to celebrate the end of a long journey.



Willow had hardly taken her eyes off the blonde once she spotted her. She’d hoped against hope that Tara would show today and she thanked the Goddesses when she saw her love. Leaving was a hard enough task by itself, having to add the fact that the person she loved more than any couldn’t bare to be around her. She’d accepted her diploma, dux of the class and made a little speech for the graduation ceremony. While public speaking isn’t high on her list of favourite things to do, writing and practicing the speech had given her mind something to focus on other than Tara, as hard as it was.



Tara had spotted Willow straight away. She tried her darnedest not to look in her direction, a pang of that going away feeling hitting her stomach every time she did. She couldn’t help herself though, the redhead had a certain pull like a tractor beam. Tara’s eye kept looking in Willow’s direction, always looking away before the redhead would turn and catch her. She knew Willow had spent most of the ceremony staring at her, she could feel her girlfriend’s emerald green eyes firmly fixated on her. She wondered to herself if she should even call Willow her girlfriend any more, maybe just the woman she loved unconditionally would have to suite.



After the formalities of the ceremony were complete, Willow rushed over so that she could at least talk to Tara. Tara knew what was coming and had feared this moment since she had spoken to her father on the phone after arriving at her Aunt’s. If looking at Willow filled her with a pain of knowing she could be seeing her for the last time, what would talking to her for the last time be like.



“You kinda left without saying anything, was kinda thinking I might not see you again.” Willow said a bit sad as she finally approached Tara.



“I kinda liked the way you would have remembered me, the last time we were together was a good way I suppose, it seemed special.” Tara tried to reason, her eyes not shifting from the ground where they were now locked.



“So that was it, you really weren’t going to see me any more?” Willow was shocked and even a little more saddened than she already was.



“You don’t know what it’s like Willow, every time I look at you I think is this the last time I look at you. Every time I talk to you I think is this that last time I get to talk to you. It’s hard, you know I’m so happy for you, I really am but for me, I pity me. I feel like a wreck and I just gets so hard sometimes.” Tara was nearing tears, something she didn’t want to do in this public arena. She could sense a lot of people were standing around trying to be nonchalant but were obviously eaves dropping in on their conversation.



“What you don’t think I don’t feel like that too. I get through because I know this is not the end. I’ll come and visit you, you could come and visit me, and we’ll talk on the phone. This doesn’t have to be the end if you don’t want it to be.” Willow pleaded, trying to make some sense to her girlfriend.



“Willow, it’s too hard, four years, only seeing you sporadically. I’ll have to go though this every time one of us has to leave. I don’t think I could take that.” Tara’s hurt was evident in her voice, and her pain stricken face showed it all. Willow was a little taken back by Tara’s words. When she thought of visiting the blonde and talking to her on the phone she only pictured the happy times. She didn’t stop to realise what the ramifications would be once they were separated once again. She knew herself that it would just about drive her insane.



“I don’t think I could either.” Willow replied, sullen by the revelation that her plans for making this work had blown up in her face. “What a waste of a weeks thinking.” She thought to herself. Tara just smiled slyly at her as she tried to pull the sad look of the redhead’s face, though she knew it’d be impossible the way she was feeling herself.



“Promise me you’ll be at the airport tomorrow. I need to say a proper goodbye to you, I want, no I need you there more than anyone. So promise me please.” Willow begged the woman she loved so much.



“I’ll try, I can promise that.” Tara smiled meekly at the redhead. Willow accepted it, but Tara’s words didn’t fill her with a great sense of hope.



………….



“She’s not gonna show I know it.” Willow mumbled sadly to anyone who bothered to listen. She sat in the waiting room at the airport, looking at her watch every few seconds, the time drawing near to her eventual departure. Everyone else was there, Buffy and Xander of course, Angel was hanging of Buffy’s arm as was Anya with Xander. Even Cordelia and Donnie were there to bid her farewell, as of course were her parents. Giles stood waiting anxiously, he hoped Tara would show, he knew Willow would be miserable enough on the flight, it’s be ten times worse had she not gotten to say goodbye to Tara, He also would like to have said goodbye himself to the sleek blonde.



Willow stood up and nervously paced around, she was flattered with the turnout for her farewell, however the one person she wanted there wasn’t and she’d trade the rest for her in a heartbeat. She glanced at her watch and started to chew one of her nails, this wasn’t going to be good on the old fingers she thought to herself.



“Calm down Will, I’m sure she’ll be here.” Buffy, Willow’s best friend was ever the supportive one. She’d been supportive right from the word go with her relationship with Tara and Willow knew she’d miss the slender blonde whom she’d know her whole life dearly.



“What if she doesn’t Buffy, what if I never see her again.” Willow broke down into tears as Buffy cradled her best friend in her arms. She preyed Tara would show up as she knew this was what the young Wiccan must have been feeling like wherever she was. Buffy glanced over at the clock, forty-five minutes to go.



…………..



Forty-five minutes to go. Tara looked at the clock once again, it was the fifth time in the last two minutes. “She’ll be gone out of my life forever in forty five minutes and I’m sitting here talking to myself.” Tara mumbled to herself as she lay flat out on her bed.



“Then what are you still doing here.” Tara looked up at the voice and seen her father staring lovingly at her from her bedroom door.



“Dad, I didn’t notice you there.” Tara muttered as she moved herself into a sitting position.



“I’ve been here for a bit, Tar you really shouldn’t be here. You owe her and yourself a proper goodbye if this is what it is. If you sit here, in forty-five minutes you’ll be kicking yourself for being there, for missing the one chance you had to see her again. These are the kind of opportunities you don’t spit in the face Tara. She loves you and needs you there and god knows you love her and need her at the moment. When I see the way she looks at you it reminds me of the way your mother used to look at me. I thought it was the most amazing thing in the world and I would give anything to see it just once Tara. Don’t be a fool and waste this opportunity.” Steve’s wise words brought a small smile to the face of his daughter.



“Thanks dad.” Tara smiled as she got up and moved over to hug him. She pulled out of the hug and raced down the stairs.



“Where are you going?” He shouted after her as if he needed to.



“The airport.” Came her sharp reply and with that the front door slammed shut and within seconds the sound of Tara’s engine could be heard revving up.



………….



Seven minutes, seven minutes and counting. Willow looked at her watch and sighed dejectedly, she’d hoped against hope that Tara would be here but evidently she wasn’t going to make it. She moved over towards where Cordelia and Anya were talking quietly between themselves.



“Hey guys, I just wanna thank youse for coming here today and well just being generally nice to me the last year, you can’t know how much it meant to me.” Willow interrupted their little conversation.



“No problem Will, we were just glad you made Tara very happy, she needed it after coming back from a rough time in New York.” Cordelia smiled as she hugged Willow and a friendly manner.



“From what she tells us you made her Very Happy.” Anya smiled as she moved in gave a similar hug to Willow. Willow made her way over to Angel who was smiling shyly at her.



“You make sure you look after her, I don’t wanna have to beat you to death with a shovel, a vague disclaimer is no ones friend.” Willow smiled as she wrapped her arms around Angel.



“You got my word on it Willow, I can promise you that.” Angel sniffed as a single tear trickled down his cheek as he hated the fact that the adorable redhead that he’d grown rather fond of was leaving. Willow moved over to Xander and he immediately opened his arms to wrap her in a hug.



“You know I’m gonna miss you Willster.” Xander laughed through the tears that wear flowing rather effortlessly down his face.



“I know, just remember if you become a great stand up comic, remember who laughed at all your dumb jokes as a kid.” Willow laughed through her own flurry of tears.



“You know it.” He responded as he squeezed her once more before she pulled away. She moved in Buffy’s direction who simply stood with her arms out, waiting for the redhead to engulf her.



“My god Will, I can’t believe you’re going.”



“I know, I’m gonna be on the other side of the world, about five and a half thousand miles away.” Willow replied, so far beyond crying her eyes her starting to match her hair colour.



“Wow so far, you’re gonna call like every night right?” Buffy asked as her tears trickled onto Willow’s shoulder as the two embraced each other tightly.



“Every night, morning too.” Willow sniffed as she pulled back slightly.



“I love you Will, I just want you to know that, not in a I wanna have sex with you way, just you know I love you.” Buffy managed to smile between tears, Willow returned the smile.



“I love you too Buffy.” Willow replied as she pulled the blonde into one last hug. Finally after breaking away from Buffy, Willow walked over to Donnie who was standing to the side trying to be a little nonchalant.



“Hey tiger.” Willow said as she made her way over to her girlfriend’s brother. She thought about that, girlfriends brother, it just wouldn’t do, he was more like her brother than that. That’s what it felt like anyway, someone who would look out for her when she needed it and she knew he loved her as a sister as well.



“Hey tiger yourself.” He smiled, desperately trying hard not to cry and loose himself in the moment. He finally gave in to the stubbornness that testosterone often give you and just let his emotions flow.



“You’ll let her know how much I wanted her here and how much I love her right?” Willow asked as she tightly clung onto the younger lad.



“I think she already knows Will but you can count on me to remind her.” He smiled though she wouldn’t have seen it as her head was burrowed into his shoulder.



“I’m really gonna miss you too Donnie, you’ve been great through all this and I just wanna thank you for it.” Willow mumbled into his shoulder.



“I’m gonna miss you too Will, I wish you didn’t have to go, I’m not gonna have anyone to help me with my homework any more, one less familiar face in the crowd at my games.” Donnie replied through his thick mess of tears.



“You’ll do fine, look after her for me ‘kay.” Willow said as she finally pulled out of the embrace.



“Count on it sis.” Donnie smiled and Willow was glowing at the last little sentiment. She made her way over to where her parents were waiting and wrapped her arms around the two of them.



“My little girls all grown up.” Ira said, his face heavily stained with tears from crying since they left in the car.



“Were so proud of you Willow, and remember if you ever want to come home, we’re a phone call away.” Sheila reminded her daughter as she squeezed her daughter one last time. Willow looked at her watch, a bare minute before she had to board, it seem less likely every second that Tara would make a last second appearance.



……………..



Tara looked at her watch as she pulled into the car park of the airport. A few minutes till Willow’s flight would be in the air, she hoped that she wasn’t too late. She raced into the terminal and checked the board for the departures. She looked at the information that she’d been given that she’d quickly snatched of the fridge before bolting out the front door. She noticed the gate number and made a quick dash for it. She found her self on the right side of luck when the line up for the metal detector was empty and she breezed through with minimal fuss. She raced to the waiting area for gate seven.



“WILLOW!” She shouted at the top of her lungs, hoping that she could stop the redhead from boarding by using her voice.



“WILLOW!” She cried out once again as she turned the corner into the waiting room of gate no. seven.



TBC…



Thanks all, kinda drained at the moment so i'm off for an early night. Much peace and love to you all :)



Cheers

Nath

If life was meant to be a bed of daisy's we'd have chicken crap thown on us all the time.

spazz07
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby snuggle79 » Wed Aug 07, 2002 3:17 pm

What...huh? god dammit!!! You are so mean!!! :mad

Please let them see each other the last time, pleaaaase!

I feel so sorry for them and it makes me sad. :(

Anyway, great update! :)



Tara:"Maybe we dreamed it."

Willow:"Right. Right. Wrong! (points at her head ) Different Brains." Tara:"Oh yeah."



Can we just skip it? Can...can you just be kissing me now?

snuggle79
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby Tiggrscorpio » Wed Aug 07, 2002 3:37 pm

Oh dear lord, Nathan, again with the cliffhanger. This update was so sad. I was teary-eyed all the way through. Tara gets there in time, right?



I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle. My prayers are with your family.



I'm out of town for ten days, so I'll check in when I get back. Take care, sweetie!

*****

She's my everything!

Tiggrscorpio
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby Ange » Wed Aug 07, 2002 4:10 pm

OMG!! She had to find Willow. She has to see her. I can't be different. She has. I hope that the next update will be soon. I can't wait to know. Liked this one.



Ange.

-----------------------------------

"Things are not always what they seem to be...." Shakespeare

Willow & Tara Stuff Site (Videos, caps, avatars, forum...)

Ange
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby SquishyTrishy » Wed Aug 07, 2002 5:03 pm

Hey



I just wanted to say this was amazing, it even made me cry a lil (shhhhhhhhhh dont tell anyone that) You are so very good at the writting thing.



Trish



I really want some more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

" If you cant be a good example you will have to be a horrible warning."

Guess Which one I am?

SquishyTrishy
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous » Wed Aug 07, 2002 5:34 pm

and you did it again! :cry NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! don't let her step onto that plane, it's just wrong :cry and you broke Tara. you're really turning into a little mean and teasing : -->>:

to make it short: great update! :bounce

take care.

C

PS: you can call me C if there are no more cliffhangers, otherwise you'll have to type my entire user name again and again ... :lol

"Es ist fuer einen Menschen unertraeglich, ertragen zu werden." (Jean Cocteau)
"Ain't never gonna love you any better babe - And they'll never gonna love you right" (Kozmic Blues - Janis Joplin)

IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby TareBearRS » Wed Aug 07, 2002 6:52 pm

O MY GOD!!!!!

You can't leave us hanging like this....

The last time you did this it was hard but this it plain cruel!!!!



R.

TareBearRS
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby xita » Wed Aug 07, 2002 7:34 pm

what a cliffhanger. I don't want them to be away from each other for 4 years :cry , it's so far away. Please just get them back together :pray

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

xita
 


omg

Postby deamoon20 » Wed Aug 07, 2002 7:43 pm

you rock that was a great update... i was crying when

will was saying goodbye. you need to update soon please.

moon

deamoon20
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby Puff » Wed Aug 07, 2002 7:52 pm

Nath you do know that cliffhangers are mean. This was such a sad update, please let Tara have made it in time.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

Puff
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby jdcioffi » Wed Aug 07, 2002 8:41 pm

Wow ... I just got caught up (was away for a week). I should have waited a little longer tho -- what a place to leave me stranded!!!!



More soon?

JD

"I smell the smelly smell of something that smells smelly!" (SpongeBob Squarepants)

jdcioffi
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby MissQuirky » Wed Aug 07, 2002 9:15 pm

Damn!! Damn!! Damn!! My God, grrrrrrr Cliffhangers hate em!! But I gotta admit it was a Wonderful update! I Loved it! I Love this fic! :grin But 4 years come on thats just tooooooo long to be apart! :( They need to be 2getha ALWAYZ!! I need more of this soon or my head is really gonna explode this time! But no rushy rush rush here! ;) Can't wait 4 more!! :)

"W-well, I-I was wondering, maybe, you would wanna go out sometime? For coffee ... food ... kisses and gay love?" - Willow (Normal Again)

MissQuirky
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby BFR from Paris » Wed Aug 07, 2002 9:19 pm

:thud



You do know that you'll pay for this eventually, right Nathan?

I so hate good-bye scenes... :cry



Can't wait for the reunion! (there will be a reunion, right? :pray )



OT : love the new smileys!!!



:joss :punch <- he he

BFR from Paris
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby ally02 » Thu Aug 08, 2002 12:56 am

Ahhh nooo thats so...nooo!! Sadness...welling up here...and now I really need a cigarette lol.



On a more serious note: Sorry to hear about your uncle. I've been through that stuff with my dad and it sucks, but I hope things get better for you :)



Ok going off to sleep and have a cigarette now...obviously not in that order :



love Aly xxxx



Edited because I cant spell!!

You all didnt happen to do a bunch of drugs did ya?

Edited by: ally02 at: 8/8/02 3:57:32 pm
ally02
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby SlayerTazz » Thu Aug 08, 2002 3:16 am

Nath - I'm very sorry to hear about your uncle. My prayers are with you. Ever need someone to vent to - email me, IM me, I'll listen!! Anytime and always!!!



On the subject of the story - that was a beautiful and sad updated. I loved it. You truly are a great writer. I hope should mine ever get posted (still debating that one) that its even 1/8 as good as yours. Thanks for such a great story and I can't wait for the next update.

A dream is a wish the heart makes.

Willow: "You had two eggs, sunny-side-up. I remember because they were wiggling at me like little boobs."

Tara: "Sassy Eggs."

SlayerTazz
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby Tiggrscorpio » Thu Aug 08, 2002 4:00 am

Sorry Nathan, I'm using your thread for a minute.



Miss SlayerTazz, you will be posting if I have anything to say about it. :p



Back to your normal replies, Nathan. Thank you!

*****

She's my everything!

Tiggrscorpio
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby MadeinNZ » Thu Aug 08, 2002 10:15 am

What the ....? Hanging off a cliff here - again!!



Very sorry to hear about your Uncle. Hope things aren't too sucky for you.

------------------------------


"When someone falls for Willow, they stay fallen" - Normal Again

MadeinNZ
 


Re: An update you say, here's part 24

Postby spazz07 » Thu Aug 08, 2002 1:06 pm

Thanks a bunch for all your support on the personal matter. My mum had a nice long chat with my uncle and it seems his cancer in uncurable, doesn't mean they can't control it for a good time and hopefully the wonders of modern science will be our friend and come to the rescue. My mum is in much better shape at the moment and the fact that he could still live another 10-20 years though it'd be tough and unlikely but hoepfully it gives us a chance, all we asked for was a glimar of hope and we got it and hopefully if all the stars are aligned properly it'll be okay. My thoughts are mostly for my four year old cousin Ian who i would hate to see loose his dad and your support has been most appreciated by yours truely. :)



Onto the replies. :)



Snuggle79 - Yeah yeah i'm a big ol' meanie :) I wanted the last part to be a big of a tear jerker, i wanted to see if i could write a part that was emotionally challenging and i think i did okay, besides it fits all with a happy ending, you'll be all the more happier after having gone through this believe me. :)



Chris - Yes again with the cliffhanger, i try :) I had a few tears in my eyes writng it so yeah it was intense. Thanks for your prayers, they really are most helpful and much appreciated. I hope whilst you're out of town your having/ had (If you check this after you get back) fun. Take care :)



Ange - Would i be so cruel as to deny our girls a final goodbye, you'll just have to wait and see :grin



Trish - Thanks and i promise not to tell anyone :) There will be more soon okies. :)



C - there kinda is in the next one but it's not a will they or wont they its just a kinda, i can't wait to see what happens cliffhanger. It'll probably make you say YaY, okies too much spoiler information, have fun reading. :)



TareBeaRS - I think i kinda did :) Yes it is cruel but to go to heaven you gotta go through hell. :)



Xita - keep that little smiley face away from Anya :) four years do you think they could handle it. :)



Deamoon20 - Goodbyes are a rather difficult thing to handle, believe me ive been there. Always though the hardest thing is letting go :) Update soon i promise. :)



Puff - I had no idea, i thought we all loved hanging by the side of a cliff. :) It was sad cause it wouldnt do justice to their love if you found to much happiness in them being apart. All will be fixed eventually. :)



JD - yeah you picked a corker of an update to catch :) The best cliffhanger by far i think. :) More Soon you ask, i think i can accomodate. :)



MissQuirky - Yes Cliffhangers can be cruel but i'm glad you loved the update. The emotional scenes just seem to flow when i'm writing, what can i say i'm a hopeless romantic. :) You're not rushing me, then why do you have that gun pointing at me :grin



BFR from Paris - Yes i know, the punishment better be swift and painless else i don't want it :) Why would i split them up if i didn't plan on reuniting them. I love our girls as much and all, names Nathan not Joss. :)



Aly - drinking alcohol and coffee and smoking I don't know missy :) i spose i shouldn't be giving you ideas :) It was a sad update and i'm glad it came across that way and not as some boring piece of trash. :) Thanks for your support and i also i am sorry to hear about your dad. Guess another thing we have in common huh. :) Smoking in bed is not good, i don't know what i'd do without you around :) You're not the only one who can't spell, i mean you have been reading write :) By the way, looking at your avater for like ever, you dont by chance have a fasination with certains parts of the female anatomy by chance :grin



SlayerTazz - Thanks for being a sweetie. I know where to turn if it gets tough, thanks again for your support.

Thanks for the glowing praise on my fic, i'm sure your's will be great. If you want some advice, i'm no expert writer in fact if you read the first post you'll see this is my first attepmt at writing really. Just don't think about it too hard, let it come from the heart, if you have to think too hard about it, it'll probably come out all wrong. With me it just flows onto the screen and don't ever knock your ability. If you think its good enough to write then it's damn well good enough to read :)



Chris *Again :Grin * - Interupt away, makes my thread look more popular :) Beside i'm totally with you on this, Miss Tazz you understand, you'll have a couple of angry kittens if we dont see it on the board soon :)



MadeinNZ - Yes according to one Miss Walker I am ruler of the cliffhanger so i must live up to my title. :) With my mum calmed down somewhat it's okay for now, though my nanna is coming up this weekend and we start over again. Thanks for your support :)



Okay wow that was great, really helps to lift the spirits of well... mentally exhausted human being. :) Once again i can't even begin to stress how grateful i am for the understanding and support thanks so much. :) I'm gonna get on with the next part and who knows it's not beyond the realms of possibility i may get an update by tomorrow morning. Thanks again, peace and love to you all. :)



Cheers

Nath

If life was meant to be a bed of daisy's we'd have chicken crap thown on us all the time.

spazz07
 


Part 25

Postby spazz07 » Thu Aug 08, 2002 4:43 pm

I got the next part up already, i started writing it and found i couldn't stop until i had it all down. :) Whilst this one leaves in an interesting spot its not with the "Argh" but with the "YAY" I think so i'll let you find out for yourselves. The next part as in part 26 is the final chapter and i have plans on writing an epilogue as well so in essence two parts to go though it'll wrap up in the next one. :) Anyway without much further ado...



Title - More than a Feeling



Author’s Name - Nathan



Rating - M15+ recommended for mature viewing audience. But hey I’m not ya mum so I ain’t gonna spank ya, unless ya want me too.



Disclaimer - These Char’s belong to Joss and ME and totally not mine.

Also title is also a song by Boston but so also listen to it if you get the chance cause its good.



Feedback - Totally, unless you don’t wanna say anything, but u could if u wanted to.



Summary - Totally AU, this fic doesn’t have a hellmouth, demons the weekly apocalypse or even vamp’s for that fact. It’s set the summer before senior high (I may not be a Yank but I’m pretty sure I know how ya calendar runs). Oh yeah lots of Willow & Tara goodness.



Part 25, facing reality



“WILLOW!” Tara screamed out as she turned the corner into the waiting area for gate seven. She came to a complete stop as she noticed the entire group looking out the window. She made her way over to the window, she staggered, her mind not grasping everything yet.



Everyone had hard Tara’s screams and turned around and saw that the blonde looked rather despondent as she started staggering over towards them. They moved aside as she drew close to them, leaving a path for her to find the window and look in the direction their eyes had been before they turned around.



Tara looked out the window and saw the plane that Willow was undoubtabley on, heading up the runway and taking the love of her life away from her. After standing there, touching the glass with a solitary hand as she watched the plane drift from view, she slumped back into on of the chairs and look rather inconsolable.



Donnie walked over to his sister and knelt down in front of her, lifting her chin with his index finger. “She really wanted you here, she waited until the last possible second Tar, she just couldn’t wait any longer.” Tara broke down into tears as the emotions of everything finally caught up with her and it all overwhelmed her.



“It’s all my fault, I let her go and I couldn’t even say goodbye, what sort of a human being am I. I’ll probably never get to see her magnificent face again, I blew our last couple of weeks and now I’ll never get them back.” Tara sobbed as her brother pulled her into a hug, giving her a shoulder to cry on.



“Don’t blame yourself for anything Tar, none of us are going to judge you because we have no idea what you had to go through. She’s gonna call once she get settled in and if you want to that is you can talk to her.” Donnie smiled up at his sister who was still slowly coming down from her crying.



“Oh goddess I miss her so much already and just want her back in my life.” Tara said, her words ruffled somewhat by her brother’s shirt.



“We all do Tar, we just gotta be there for each other, things will turn out alright I can promise that.” Donnie replied soothingly to his sister, rubbing the back of her head comforting her.



“How can you promise that?” Tara asked, not sure if she could believe such a bold statement.



“Because I have too, it’s what we little big brothers do.” He smiled at her and this time got a sly smile in return. Tara fell back into his shoulder however and had no intention of moving anytime soon. The others watched this display of sibling love and felt a bit of awe and even a bit of envy but they all silently agreed it was best shared between just the two of them.



“Donnie, we’re gonna make off, you ‘right here?” Xander asked as he interrupted their hug momentarily by placing a hand on Donnie’s shoulder.



“Yeah, I think we’re just gonna hang here for a while.” Donnie replied, loosening but never releasing his hold on his sister. He turned to look at Cordelia to see what she was doing as she had rode there with him.



“You gonna be right?” He asked her, his concern for his girlfriend obvious as well.



“Yeah I’ll catch a ride with the other’s, I’ll call you tonight.” Cordelia kissed her hand and then placed her hand on Donnie’s cheek as she made her way over to the rest of the group who silently made their way to the exit of the airport.



Donnie and Tara just sat there, holding each other as they comforted each other, Tara’s mind was awhirl and she couldn’t help but think what a fool she’d been.



…………..



Willow sat on the plane dejected, she hadn’t really thought Tara would come after their brief talk at graduation, but she had hoped against everything humanly possible that she would get to say a final goodbye to blonde goddess. She looked out the window through the cloud and at everything that looked so small and insignificant. She wondered if the small specks she could barely make out as people were feeling at the moment and if anyone of them felt worse than she did. She realised she was on this flight by choice and not being forced, still it was an excruciatingly hard decision to make and now she totally started to wonder if she had made the right choice. She figured she’d try it, a couple of weeks to see how it went and if things didn’t work out she’d go back to Sunnydale. The only thing running through her mind was, what would it be like if she went back, would things go back to the way they were or would they forever be changed.



She could feel Giles’ concerned look on the back of her head. She knew he worried about her immensely and she knew he was starting to have his own doubts about her coming. Not because she wasn’t right for the spot or he didn’t want her there, he just wanted Willow to be happy and seeing the way she was, it was hard to think she could be without the blonde whom she was so close to.



“Giles, I did the right thing right?” Willow turned and faced the older man, hoping for an answer that would allay her fears.



“I don’t think there was a right or wrong answer to the question you had. Life has a funny way of sorting things out and if you’re meant to be here, on this flight then life will make sure of it, just as it will if you’re meant to be with Tara.” Giles smiled across to Willow, she returned the smile, and the words allayed her fears just ones she hadn’t been thinking about. She hoped what he said was right and that she and Tara were really meant to be together and that them being together was destiny.



Destiny, she hadn’t thought of that throughout all of this. Willow was a take charge girl and hated the fact that there was something that was beyond her control, but if destiny could make sure she got her girl she’d give anything a try. She reminisced over her time with Tara and a happy smile crept over her face and as sure as her hair was red, she knew that the connection between herself and Tara would be strong enough to withstand everything. Willow silently vowed to write letters and call often and keep in touch, when she came home in four years, she didn’t want Tara to have forgotten about her. Even though she knew if they lost touch over the time period there would be no way in the world she’d ever forget the blonde she loved so much.



“Would that be a genuine Rosenberg smile I see plastered across your face Willow?” Giles smiled as he noted for the first time Willow was actually happy about something.



“Just remembering some of the times I spent with Tara, there really were some great ones.” Her smile softened somewhat as the sadness kicked in again and Giles’ smile followed suite.



“I could only imagine.” Giles offered to the young redhead. Willow had to stifle a laugh at that. “You don’t really wanna be thinking that Rupert.” Willow said to herself in her head.



……………



Tara and Donnie walked in the front door to their house and was greeted with a waiting father who wanted to hear the details.



“So, did you see her?” Steve asked Tara hopefully, Tara just looked at him and slowly shook her head.



“Oh come here sweetie.” With that he offered his arms wide open and Tara immediately moved into her father’s protective embrace.



“I was too late, I left everything to the last second and I screwed it all up and now she’s gone and I’m never gonna see her again.” Tara repeated the words she’d said so many times that afternoon, only this time it was her father’s chest her face was buried in, instead of her brother’s. In fact Donnie had gone up to change his shirt, as it had been drenched from the embrace he’d shared with Tara most of the afternoon. He was glad though, he needed the contact as much as Tara did, Willow felt like a part of the family here and it would be just as weird for him not to have her around.



“It’ll be alright sweetie, remember if you need anything your brother and I are here for you through this. For so long you’ve held this family together, pretty much from when your mother got sick, you were always the one looking out for us, it’s our turn to repay the favour.” Steve smiled down at his daughter as he felt her cling just that bit tighter as she snuggled in against him, her eyes closed as she tried to contain the flow of her tears.



“Do you think we’ll ever see each other again?” Tara asked her father optimistically as she tried hard to stifle her tears, she’d cried enough for one day.



“I’m sure of it sweetie, as sure as the sun rises every morning and sets every night, you two will be together.” He stroked his daughter’s hair as his words seemed to have a calming effect on her as the tow of them stood silently in the hallway as the just hugged each other.



……………



Buffy and Cordelia met at the Espresso Pump, they never really talked to each other but after the aftermath of a few days before they’d put their petty squabbling to one side as they settled down for a mocha.



“So has Willow rung yet?” Cordelia asked, breaking the silence that had engulfed them once they sat down.



“No, not yet, she must be still getting settled in, have you talked to Tara yet?” Buffy replied and then asked a question of her own.



“Only briefly, she hardly come out of her room at the moment, though when I did get a chance to talk to her she promised me that she will start getting on with her life soon, now she just needs some time to grieve I guess.” Buffy nodded her head as Cordelia talked about her quick encounter with Tara.



“She really misses Willow huh?” Buffy asked as if it wasn’t painstakingly obvious.



“Yeah, it’s so sad at what happened, they were so great together. Tara needed a spark in her life and Willow gave her a flame.” Buffy was touched by Cordelia’s sentimental words, this was a side of the cheerleader she’d not noticed before and could now understand when Tara told them that there was a side to Anya and Cordy that you couldn’t help but love.



“What do you think’ll happen now?” Buffy asked as she tried to see if Cordelia had any more insight to what was going on.



“I’m not sure, I mean what do they do, do they wait for each other and go through the next four years alone or do they try and go on with their lives. It’s up to them and it’s something only they could answer, no doubt they need to sit down over the phone and have a lengthy discussion.” Cordelia gave her thoughts on the matter some voice and Buffy absorbed them all with keen interest.



“What about Donnie, he seems to be taking this pretty harshly as well?” Buffy asked once again.



“Yeah he is pretty distraught, he looked up to their relationship as his role-model, he says that Willow was like a sister to him after the amount of time she spent around their place.” Cordelia laughed slightly at the notion and Buffy’s lips curved up in a small half smile.



“It’s a pretty glum atmosphere over there at the moment, even Steve is a little brought down by it all, can only imagine what her parents are feeling right now.” Cordelia continued her little rant.



“They’re doing okay, they are amazingly happy she has gotten the chance she’s got, but her mum has talked to her a few times over the phone and keeps telling Willow that if she ever want’s to come home all she needed to do was call.” This time Buffy laughed slightly and it was Cordelia who half smiled at the comment.



“I bet Sheila really misses her.” Cordelia commented about Willow’s mum as her mind raced back to at the airport where she’d collapsed into Ira’s arms when Willow boarded the plane.



“She does, I talked with her for a bit last night, she wants what’s best for Willow though and you can’t ask for any more than that from a mother.” Buffy replied to the cheerleader across from her.



“I keep thinking why bad things happen to good people but then I think you know, Willow being offered a scholarship to a major university isn’t a bad thing and it gets all confusing.” Cordelia tried to rationalise some of the thoughts running though her head.



“Yeah, classic case of not being able to have your cake and eat it too. Life can be so cruel sometimes, ya just wanna kick the powers that be right in the ass.” Buffy responded, her competitive nature shining through, along with her fighting spirit.



“Yeah kinda makes you think the big guy upstairs is having a ball watching this, he gives Tara something, only to take it away from her. Really sucks if you ask me.” Cordelia started feeling angry, mood swings were becoming regular since Willow left and she tried to comprehend things she didn’t quite understand.



“Yeah I mean first Willow went through a similar thing with Oz and she was pretty broken up about that and now with Tara, she just seemed shattered. It’s so unfair that when you’re slowly starting to rebuild your life and then just as it seems to be getting good, even better than it was before, wham it’s all gone again. How do you get up from that again?” Buffy’s concern was for her best friend whom she constantly worried about.



“Willow’s a tough girl, and this isn’t likely to break her, if anything, it’ll make her stronger. Besides she has a great opportunity to make something of her life, who knows, maybe next time we see her she’ll be in a highly paid job and be able to support us all.” Cordelia smiled up at Buffy.



“Yeah well I was her friend first so I get dibs on the big bedroom in her mansion.” Buffy smiled back at Cordelia.



……………



Two weeks, it’d been two weeks since she landed in merry ol’ England and she was yet to call Buffy or anyone besides her parents. She sat in front of the phone as she pondered over weather or not she’d have the guts to go through with it. She knew if she talked to any of her friends she’d break down and cry and she’d done plenty of that on the phone to her mom.



She was finding it incredibly hard to adjust to her new surroundings, it wasn’t as though the people weren’t friendly, they were, super in fact. It was just being away from so many loved ones had a major bearing on her heart and where she thought she’d be able to handle it, she was failing miserably. After speaking to her parents on the phone, she’d often retire to her room to the night and cry herself to sleep. Giles could sense the loss of loved ones was starting to take its toll on his young stooge.



Willow played with the idea of ringing her friend and finally bit the bullet and dialled the number which would put her into conversation with her best friend, she hoped Buffy could tell her how Tara was doing.



Buffy had gathered the gang around her place for some good ol’ fashioned monopoly fun. Anya showing her keen interest in anything profitable was leading the way, not that the others cared, this was an excuse to get Tara out of her room and they seemed to be enjoying themselves. The couples were constantly trying to avoid each other around Tara as to not rub in their happiness and Tara found that more annoying than seeing them happy together. She hated the fact that people pretended not to be happy on her account.



The shrill ring of the phone interrupted the game and Buffy contemplated letting it ring but decided against it on the odd chance that it was Willow making the call.



“I’ll get it.” Buffy sighed out as she struggled to stand, the circulation to her legs had been cut of from sitting awkwardly and now the blood rush had her wobbling around.



“Yeah well it’s your house, so that’d be a good idea.” Anya chimed in as Buffy rested an arm on Angel’s shoulder for support. Tara smiled, finally some contact, “Do they ever think I’d be happy if they weren’t” Tara thought quietly to herself.



Buffy staggered over to the side of the couch and plonked herself next to the phone and answered it.



“Hello Summers residence.” Buffy spoke politely into the phone.



“Buffy is that you?” Willow sounded a little confused, was this the same Buffy she left behind.



“Willow.” Buffy spoke aloud and instantly six sets of eyes were focused on her, Willow could feel the tension from the other end of the line.



“Something tells me your not alone there Buff.” Willow hesitated as a silence had swept over everything.



“No I’m not, got the gang over playing board games.” Buffy replied with her own amount of hesitation.



“Everyone, as in the whole gang.” Willow was worried now she had only one thing on her mind.



“Everyone.” Buffy answered simply though she knew what the redhead was reaching out for.



“Everyone, as in everyone including Tara, or everyone minus Tara?” Willow asked, not really sure what she wanted Buffy’s response to be. On one hand she desperately wanted to talk to Tara, they definitely had some things to resolves and Willow badly missed the soothing sound of Tara’s voice. On the other hand she wasn’t sure if she was ready to talk to the blonde yet, she thought about it so much, she’d even dialled Tara’s number a couple of times and hung up before anyone could answer.



“Including.” Buffy replied as her eyes shifted to focus on Tara who was staring intently back at her. All other eyes in the room however joined Buffy’s and were fixed on the blonde who was sitting in the middle of the room.



“Do you want me to put her on?” Buffy asked through the phone, finally making it obvious to everyone in the room that Tara was the centre of their conversation.



“No, I mean I rang you up so I want to talk to you, but you know if she wants to talk after I will.” Willow babbled out as she started to panic, a sweat coating her hands as the sudden realisation that she could be talking to Tara in a few moments raced through her spine.



“So Buffy what ya been up to?” Willow breathed heavily as she tried to break the silence that had fallen over them.



Tara was about to stand up, not sure what she would do if Buffy handed her the phone, when she’d heard Buffy asked if Willow wanted to talk to her she had panicked every which way left of Sunday. She didn’t know if she could talk to the woman she so desperately loved; the sound of her voice was something she yearned for, as was the sight of her goddess, the touch of her skin, the taste of her lips and the smell of the shampoo in her hair that she used that smelt like peaches.



“Not much, just hanging out with the guys, still getting over the fact that you’re not here, you?” Tara eased of as she watched Buffy answer a question obviously directed at her, though she was a little saddened that Willow hadn’t wanted to talk to her



“Not much, just thinking about how much I miss you guys… and her.” Willow’s already sad voice trailed of into one of partial despair.



“Want me to ask her Will?” Buffy was looking at Tara, the many different reactions the crossed the blonde’s face would be humorous if she didn’t care so much about the girl. She was obviously as crossed about this as Willow was and Buffy decided she had to help in bridging the gap between the two lovers that had formed. Buffy was adamant that no matter what happened she couldn’t have them acting like this forever.



“Would you please?” Willow asked, her mind racing as she kept think of Tara and everything the blonde meant to her.



“Tara, Willow want’s to know if you’d like a word, we could leave the room if you want.” Buffy offered the receiver to Tara as Willow waited patiently on the other end hoping her love would pick up. Tara started to reach out towards the phone, trendily she moved her hand closer to grasp the receiver before she sighed and slowly pulled her hand back.



“Sorry Buffy I can’t.” Tara replied as she left the uncomfortableness of the living room for the emptiness of the kitchen. Buffy pulled the phone back up to her ear disappointed that general chat had not eventuated this time.



“Sorry Will, she couldn’t do it.” Buffy apologised down the phone line.



“Yeah I know I heard, I don’t mean to sound rude Buffy but this is kinda making me uncomfortable talking to you with everyone else listening in, can I ring you later while your alone?” Willow asked, upset that Tara hadn’t taken up her offer.



“Yeah of course, gimme a couple of hours okay.” Buffy responded hastily, she needed to talk to her friend badly, she missed her with all her heart.



“Okay, talk to you then.” Willow replied down the line, giving a half smile she knew the blonde girl couldn’t see.



“Bye Will.” Buffy responded before slowly putting the phone back down on the hook.



“So what was that all about?” Asked a curious Cordelia who like everyone else had been hanging onto every word.



“She want’s to chat privately, whilst you guys aren’t here, so I told her to ring back in a couple of hours.” Buffy replied meekly.



“You want us to go now then?” Donnie asked as he started to get up.



“No, well not yet, you could probably stay another hour.” Buffy replied as she ushered for him to sit down. At that moment all eyes turned to Tara who walked in and started gathering her things with a new found determination.



“Whatchya doin’ there Tar?” Xander asked a little concerned at Tara’s new demeanour.



“I couldn’t even talk to her, you have no idea how much it kills me I couldn’t do that, I want nothing more than to touch, smell, taste, see and hear her and being here isn’t helping that.” Tara replied as she marched to the door as everyone stared at her with shock.



“I’m gonna echo Xander here and ask again what it is your doing?” Cordelia replied, more than a little concerned at her best friends less than sane actions at the moment.



“Something I should have done a long time ago.” Tara replied as she stood as the front door as if making a final decision.



“And that would be what exactly?” Cordelia continued her questioning.



“Going to England.” Tara replied simply as she opened the door and marched out.



TBC…



I hoped you all enjoyed it :)



Cheers

Nath

If life was meant to be a bed of daisy's we'd have chicken crap thown on us all the time.

spazz07
 


Re: Part 25

Postby Puff » Thu Aug 08, 2002 5:11 pm

Yay go Tara all with the determination and everything :D It's so sad that they are unable to talk to each other and I wished that they had had the opportunity to see each other at the airport.



Looking forward to the next part :)

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

Puff
 


Re: Part 25

Postby Tiggrscorpio » Thu Aug 08, 2002 5:16 pm

Yay, Nathan! You got in another update before I left. Yippee, Tara is on her way to England. Our girls belong together. I can't believe the story is almost over. It has been so wonderful, but I know you've got others to share with us, so I'm excited about that. Hang in there, guy!

*****

She's my everything!

Tiggrscorpio
 


Re: Part 25

Postby snuggle79 » Thu Aug 08, 2002 5:57 pm

Good decision!!! Up'n away to England!

Great Update! :D :clap

Tara:"Maybe we dreamed it."

Willow:"Right. Right. Wrong! (points at her head ) Different Brains." Tara:"Oh yeah."



Can we just skip it? Can...can you just be kissing me now?

snuggle79
 


Re: Part 25

Postby Ange » Thu Aug 08, 2002 6:16 pm

OMG!! Yeah, she is going!!! I can't bear to see them appart.

I have to know what's gonna happen, before i leave tomorrow. God, i hope that the nexy update will be soon. I love your fic!!!



Ange.

-----------------------------------

"Things are not always what they seem to be...." Shakespeare

Willow & Tara Stuff Site (Videos, caps, avatars, forum...)

Ange
 


Re: Part 25

Postby jdcioffi » Thu Aug 08, 2002 6:44 pm

We're going to England, we're going to England .. la la ... *ahem*



Right dandy update!

JD

"I smell the smelly smell of something that smells smelly!" (SpongeBob Squarepants)

jdcioffi
 


Re: Part 25

Postby tiredsoul » Thu Aug 08, 2002 7:20 pm

Great updates. I lucked out and didn't the cliffhanger at the airport. Sometimes procrastination works.



Yea! Tara's going to England and I gotta strange feeling that you're planning an interesting twist to that.



Great story.



--celia



----------------------------------------------

"I'm not coming back"

tiredsoul
 


Re: Part 25

Postby xita » Thu Aug 08, 2002 7:23 pm

Oh man that was angsty and really painful that Tara just couldn't bear to be around Willow knowing it just wasn't waht she wanted. And the end is near :( I'll miss this story, I hope you write again :)

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

xita
 


Re: Part 25

Postby ally02 » Thu Aug 08, 2002 8:58 pm

Okay I cant polish ur cliffhanger crown anymore! lol Awww that was such a teary eye chapter. But I'm glad Tara is going to England to see Willow because...well because its Willow and Tara!!



And yes smoking is bad...and I'm gonna stop...sometime : Fasination with parts of the female anatomy :hmm ....well I have to say I am shocked by that suggestion :D



Hoping for more soon :pray <-- He is too cute!!



mucho love

Aly xxxx

You all didnt happen to do a bunch of drugs did ya?

ally02
 


Re: Part 25

Postby MissQuirky » Thu Aug 08, 2002 9:32 pm

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!! Freakin AMAZIN update!! It was kinda on the sad side at the beginin but then just got very exciting w/ that last lil thing Tara said!! :grin YAY!! :bounce :clap Shes goin to England!! I hope she DOES go through w/ this :pray , and gets to her Willow!! Soooo can't wait 4 more!! :)

"W-well, I-I was wondering, maybe, you would wanna go out sometime? For coffee ... food ... kisses and gay love?" - Willow (Normal Again)

MissQuirky
 


Re: Part 25

Postby IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous » Fri Aug 09, 2002 12:43 am

:bounce yay, Tara goes to England to get Will! only fair after you made Willow actually leave :) and no cliffhanger - that's even better. loved the update.

take care.

C

"Es ist fuer einen Menschen unertraeglich, ertragen zu werden." (Jean Cocteau)
"Ain't never gonna love you any better babe - And they'll never gonna love you right" (Kozmic Blues - Janis Joplin)

IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous
 

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