Author: WillowPowered (willow_powered@yahoo.com.au)
Disclaimer: Willow, Tara and any other characters that appear in Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of Mr Joss and Mutant Enemy etc. etc. etc. No breach of copyright is intended by me. Plus I don’t have any money so please don’t sue.
Rating: PG-13 for this part, may go upto NC17 (I will warn you at the beginning of each part).
Comments/Notes: I’m fascinated with the idea of Willow being in love with Tara, but Tara either not feeling the same way (at the beginning) or at the very least unsure of her feelings for our favourite redhead:
* Willow has been in love with Tara since meeting at college. Both women have graduated and are hard working members of society!!
* Tara lives with Buffy and Dawn.
* Willow shares an apartment with Xander and Anya.
* Willow is determined to tell Tara how she feels.
* Tara is oblivious and has no romantic feelings for her friend, or does she?
* The rest of the Scoobys know of Willow’s feelings for Tara. They all think that Tara only loves Willow as a friend.
Characters thoughts are in Italics.
Flashbacks are in Bold.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Willow was sitting at the gang’s usual table, her palms sweating as her nerves declared war. Tonight was the night that she would tell Tara how she felt, that she loved her with all her heart and soul, that Tara was her soul mate. Ok, maybe lay off the soul mate stuff, because that will scare her off for sure.
It was Friday night which meant it was Bronze night. Willow had confided in Xander of her plans, so there they were, Xander, Willow and Anya, sitting at the Bronze, ridiculously early, waiting for their friends.
The redhead kept glancing at the door and then her watch, her nervous fidgeting finally getting to Anya. “You know why don’t you have a drink. I’ve heard that alcohol is excellent for calming nerves.”
Willow stared at Anya for several moments before heading over to the bar. An hour later and against Xander’s best efforts, one drink had turned into one too many. Swaying slightly due to her level of intoxication Willow nearly jumped off her chair when she saw Tara, Buffy and Dawn walk through the door.
Oh Goddess, she looks so beautiful tonight. Ok, I have to calm down and get this right, don’t want to come across all stalker-ish. We’ll all talk and dance for awhile and then I’ll sneak her off to a quiet spot and tell her.
* * * *
An hour and a half later Xander and Anya were still on the dance floor while the others were sitting around the table talking. Buffy, Tara and Dawn had noticed Willow’s drunken state. None of them could remember ever seeing Willow drunk, well except maybe for that one time at one of Riley’s frat parties when Willow had disappeared with a rather hot looking blonde for a couple of hours. Willow’s odd behaviour leading the two blondes to make a mental note to find out from the others what was going on.
Tara’s thoughts were interrupted by Willow grabbing her by the hand and dragging her towards the dance floor. Making sure to maintain what she felt was respectable “dancing with a friend” personal space Willow’s usual shyness on the dance floor was nowhere to be seen.
Watching her friend Tara couldn’t help but be surprised at what a good dancer she could be. Who knew she had some moves, the woman’s got rhythm. As the song ended Willow again took Tara’s hand, but rather than rejoin their friends at the table, Willow lead the blonde to the far corner which was vacant.
Gently pushing Tara so that she was almost leaning against the wall, Willow moved in close and cupped her friends face with her hands. Tara stood still, her arms hanging loosely down at her sides as her surprise gave way to a feeling of dread. Huh, what is going on? Why is she looking at me like that?
“Tara, I have to tell you something, I can’t keep it a secret any longer.” Getting no response Willow charged ahead, her well rehearsed speech forgotten. “Tara, I love you. I’ve been in love with you forever.”
Tara’s mouth fell open as her eyebrows shot up in confusion. Huh, what? Willow’s clouded mind somehow interpreted her friends reaction as encouragement and she leant forward and gently brushed her lips against Tara’s.
As Willow moved her lips against Tara’s mouth the blonde froze, her body stiffening. After several seconds Willow’s brain registered that Tara wasn’t kissing her back. Opening her eyes she moved away from her friend far enough so that she could look into her eyes.
Desperately searching for some sign, anything to tell her what was going through Tara’s mind a cold chill swept through Willow’s body as she was hit with the undeniable reality of it all. The realisation made Willow go into self destruct mode. Oh God, she’s freaked out. The idea of kissing me, being with me freaks her out. At this very moment she is probably trying to think of a polite way of saying “Sorry, but you’re a short, ugly, dork so I can’t possible be in love with you, let alone physically attracted to you”. Damn I should have known someone as wonderful as Tara wouldn’t be interested in a dork like me.
Realising that she still held Tara’s face in her hands Willow quickly let go and stepped back several feet, stumbling slightly from the affects of the alcohol. “I’m sorry, so sorry Tara. I should have known that you couldn’t love someone like me. I’m sorry.” She stared at Tara for several moments before she turned and high-tailed it out of there. Damn I’m an idiot, I won’t be able to face her again after this. How could I have been so sure that she felt the same? Damn, damn, damn.
The whole thing had taken less than a minute to unfold. What Willow had said had finally sunk into Tara’s brain just as she felt her friend’s lips on her own mouth. The kiss had shocked her with the warm softness disappearing almost as fast at it had arrived. She loves me. I didn’t know. I mean I know she’s gay, but I’ve never thought about her like that.
The next thing Tara knew Willow had broken all contact with her and was saying something that her brain had not yet processed. In the blink of an eye Willow had disappeared.
As her brain finally understood what her friend had said Tara was filled with so many emotions, all confusing and fighting for supremacy. A sense of uneasiness settled over the blonde as she was filled with an urgent need to find Willow. Almost running back to the table Tara was filled with dread as the lack of Willow sitting there made her heart hurt. “Have you guys seen Willow?”
Seeing their friends flushed appearance Xander and Anya shared a glance. “We thought she was with you.”
Tara turned to Xander. “She was. We were talking and then she left.”
Anya immediately assessed the situation in her own unique way. “So did you let her down gently or did you smack her down and rip her heart into little tiny pieces?”
Xander jumped in before his girlfriend could make the situation any worse. “What Anya means is that I’m sure Willow just needs some time alone.”
Buffy looked from Xander to Anya and then to Tara. “Did I miss something here?”
Before Tara could answer Anya spoke up. “Well tonight Willow was going to tell Tara that she loves her and wants to get naked with her. Judging by the sudden lack of Willow I assume that she didn’t take the rejection very well.”
Tara suddenly had four pairs of eyes staring at her. “I-I-I-I didn’t. I mean she did tell me but I d-d-d-didn’t do anything. She left before I could say anything and we need to find her because she was upset.”
* * * *
Willow exited the Bronze, the cold night air sending a chill through her petite frame. She had come to the Bronze with Xander so driving was out of the question. Maybe I should get a taxi home. No, I don’t feel like going home yet. Deciding on what she was going to do, Willow walked passed the taxi stand and broke into a run without even realising it. As the familiar neighbourhood passed by Willow finally came to a stop in front of her destination, her parent’s house. Rather than entering her childhood home, Willow made her way around the side to the back yard.
Standing under the tall tree in the middle of the yard, the redhead looked up at the tree house she had spent countless hours in during her childhood. Without a second thought she grabbed a hold of the rickety old ladder and started climbing.
Several feet up the ladder Willow lost her footing and fell to the ground. Landing heavily on her side she banged her head hard on the ground, earning a nasty cut just above her left eye.
Dazed, she sat up after several minutes catching her breath and examined the damage as best she could in the dark while intoxicated. Feeling a wetness slowly trickling down the side of her face Willow knew she was bleeding. “Well damn if that doesn’t end the night just perfectly.”
Wiping at the blood with the sleeve of her shirt Willow stood up again and went back to climbing the ladder. Taking it slower this time she made it up to the door of the tree house. Pushing the old door open she crawled inside and lay on the floor, breathing heavily from the effort. Still bleeding from the cut she fell into a restless sleep.
* * * *
Tara was beside herself with worry. After searching for the redhead in all of their usual hangouts they had gone back to the apartment she shares with Xander and Anya to find she hadn’t been home.
Buffy and Dawn had gone back to their house just in case Willow showed up there. Tara refused to go home with them, instead preferring to stay and wait for Willow to come home. Tara was desperate to talk to Willow to sort things out. The main problem now being that Tara had absolutely no idea how she was going to handle the situation, all she knew was that she had to make sure Willow was ok.
As the hours ticked by Xander and Anya had gone to bed exhausted. Tara stayed on the couch watching TV, or rather staring at the TV which happened to be turned on. Unable to sit still Tara began moving around the living room, looking at the various pictures of the gang that were on the mantelpiece and hung on the walls. Before she realised it Tara was standing in the open doorway to Willow’s room.
After a moments hesitation Tara moved into the room, turning on the light as she entered. The room had a warm and welcoming feel to it, sparsely decorated Tara couldn’t help but smile at the pile of clothes spread over the bed. She obviously couldn’t decide what to wear tonight.
Moving over to the desk Tara looked at the photographs sitting next to the laptop that took pride of place. Each photo consisted of members of their unique little family with different combinations of Willow, herself, Xander, Anya, Buffy, Dawn and even Giles and Joyce. Tara was filled with sadness at the lack of any pictures featuring Willow and her parents. God, how can they be so stupid. They both go on about kids and how to be good parents but neither of them has the faintest idea how to actually be a parent. I can’t even remember the last time I saw them spend any time with her.
Picking up a picture of herself and Willow taken on graduation day Tara moved over to the bed and pushed some of the clothes off to make enough room for her to lie down.
Looking at the picture Tara giggled at the memory of when it was taken. It had been a long day and Tara had been exhausted. As the two girls posed for the picture, Willow had started tickling her. Tara had her head thrown back a little as she laughed and Willow was looking straight at the camera with the biggest grin on her face as she stuck out her tongue. The next few minutes had been spent with Tara chasing Willow trying to get her own back.
Other memories of Willow filled her brain as she began tracing the redheads face with the middle finger on her right hand. As Tara mentally went through the time since she had met her friend the blonde realised that the signs of Willows affection for her were obvious. The redhead had always been there for her, always been more attentive and protective than she was with the rest of the gang, even more so than with Dawn who she considered to be a sister.
Tara couldn’t believe she had been so blind to it all. Tonight at the Bronze she had discovered that everyone else had known from early on. Even Xander who was normally oblivious had figured it out.
As she continued to trace Willow’s face on the picture Tara was filled with a longing for her friend. She desperately wanted to see Willow, hear her voice, hug her and hold her close. What her feelings for the redhead were she still didn’t know but she did know that not knowing where she was and if she is ok was driving her insane.
Making herself more comfortable on the bed Tara took one of the pillows and hugged it close while still clutching the picture in her other hand. She was immediately consumed with the comforting scent of Willow. As Tara’s tears began to fall unchecked, her heart slowly awoke to the reality of love.
* * * *
~~~~~~~~
Willow - Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs did ya?
Willow Powered | Amber Powered | Alyson Powered
My lack of talent is more than made up for by my enthusiasm.
of joy.watch me now..
inky
. Love sam xx
thanks so much, hope you love the next bit as much????
hopefully the finish is as good as the start – thanks.
