Hey Kittens
Life here goes on except now I'm a bit under the weather
- antibiotics here I come. Macbeth was much more active after his treatment on Monday. We're feeding him with a syringe which isn't pleasant. He thinks all food tastes icky and given what's coming out of his nose, I'm not surprised.
Here's the update, a little later than planned. Why does that always happen?
Rating - PG for situations and language
Angst Level - Hmmmm, over 6, under 8?
***
Dr. Green led them back, down one short hall, then another. He hummed softly while he walked, a tune that Jo recognized from summer camp. A quick glance at Dani and Tara indicated that they knew it, too – at least she thought that was what Tara’s soft smile and Dani’s pained look indicated. Silently she mouthed “There’s a hole in my bucket, dear Liza …” and was nonplussed by Dani’s quick shake of her head.”
“Ah, y’all know the song?” His accent sounded distinctly southern.
Jo looked at Dr. Green, whose broad grin was making his gray eyes crinkle at the corners, and nodded.
Dani sighed heavily and muttered, “Now you’ve done it.”
“My dear Danielle, don’t be a spoilsport just because you don’t like to sing,” he chastised gently as he held open a door and gestured for them to go inside.
Okay, this was strange, Jo mused. This was the first time she’d ever been to Health Services as a group experience. But Dani led the way into the room without hesitation, so Jo followed, Tara sandwiched between them.
The room wasn’t an examination room; it was an office with several comfy chairs pulled together in a group, with a desk jammed up against a wall, well out of the way. It was as much a typical doctor’s office as Tara’s room was a typical dorm room. Eclectically decorated, it had some fairly standard art prints – both Monet’s Water Lilies and Klimt’s Kiss – but it also had a wide range of nonwestern art and fabric. Jo recognized the rugs as Navajo designs, and she was pretty certain that the fabric throws on the chairs were kente cloth. Various do-dads and thingamabobs cluttering the flat surfaces seemed to originate mostly in Africa and Asia. She rubbed the bridge of her nose reflectively. Who knew that last semester’s multicultural art class would come in handy so quickly?
“Here,” Dr. Green tossed a large pillow at her. “You get the floor and my patients get the chairs, as do I, since I’m the oldest.” He chose one and lowered himself carefully into it as Tara and Dani took the other two.
And closed his eyes.
They sat in silence for several minutes while Dr. Green apparently took a nap. Okay, this was even weirder. Although – this was still Sunnydale, after all. Given what she’d learned in the past week, why should anything surprise her? Jo finally couldn’t contain herself any longer; shifting on her pillow, she opened her mouth.
“You’re an impatient one, aren’t you?” Dr. Green observed, still with his eyes closed.
Jo’s mouth snapped shut. She looked around the room – again, this time finding a photo of the doctor and his family. A lovely African-American woman stood in the crook of his arm, his hand resting on the shoulder of a pretty young girl. His love for them was obvious from his posture and the gentleness of his gestures. It was sweet. Jo smiled reflexively.
“But you have a good, non-judgmental heart.” Dr. Green opened his eyes.
Although she was a bit confused – how had he known what she was looking at? – Jo replied with a larger smile. “They’re lovely; you’re very lucky.”
“I am, aren’t I?” he agreed without hesitation, and then leaned forward expectantly. “What’s your name?”
“Jo Hutchinson.”
He made a note on a sheet attached to the thick – Dani’s ? – file and then a second on the thinner one. “So – do you want to tell me why you’re here?”
The question was directed at her, not Dani, not Tara. Why she was here? Well, duh! ‘Because you invited me’ was the obvious answer, but was that what he was really asking? Did he maybe want to know what had happened? Or maybe he was just as strange as his behavior indicated and what he wanted was an existential answer – that whole “Why am I here?” thing … or maybe it was just …..
“But y-y-you already know.” Tara’s voice interrupted her scurrying thoughts and brought them to a limping halt.
The doctor nodded slightly. “You are correct, Miss Maclay, I do, but I often find it helpful to have a verbal explanation.”
Tara dipped her head in … what was that? Acknowledgement?
Jo looked back and forth between the blonde witch and Dr. Green. Dani looked a little surprised, too, but only a little. Okay – what was going on? And given that this was Sunnydale, and considering all that had happened in the past few days, what was the likelihood that it was a good something? Speaking up like that was usually not Tara’s style – unless she had good reason. Jo shifted into a better position – not that any getaway was likely to be fast.
“There’s a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza ….” Dr. Green sang softly, waiting patiently for her answer.
“Answer him, Jo, or he’ll treat us to the whole song,” Dani advised as she settled more comfortably into her chair. “And although he has a nice voice, I have better things to do this afternoon than sit here.” One brow went up rakishly as she added, “And I think Tara probably has other plans too.”
“But not with you, Jo,” Dr. Green added with a grin that made his eyes dance, “with another girl, one with bright red hair.”
Okay – ignoring the how-did-he-know-that aspect – that was a bit pervy! Jo shifted uncomfortably; it was marginally ok for her to tease Tara, but neither of them knew this strange doctor. She glanced at Tara, certain the blonde would be aghast, but Tara simply sat there, both eyebrows raised and smiling slightly.
Dr. Green continued to sing. “There’s a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, a hole.”
How … weird, but if neither Tara nor Dani was worried…..
“I’m a friend,” Jo began hesitantly, “to both of them. And I told Willow …”
“Ah, that would be the red-head – which explains that damn tree I saw … go on,” Dr. Green urged, making another note in Tara’s file.
Saw? Jo shivered. Was nothing normal? Why hadn’t she followed her first instincts and placed the pillow nearer Tara and Dani? Safety in numbers and … and was he reading her mind? She took a deep breath and concentrated on not-thinking. “I told Willow that I’d come here with Tara, since she had class.” There – that answered the question.
“But not all of it,” Dr. Green observed, pursing his lips slightly.
“You know, you’re really starting to freak me out,” Jo blurted.
“I know. Sorry about that. Sometimes it’s useful.” Although delivered in an offhand fashion, his apology did seem sincere. “You answered why you’re here now, but why are you involved at all?” He returned to his song as he waited again. “There’s a hole in my bucket ….”
Jo looked at both of her friends, somewhat bewildered that they could be sitting here so calmly. And they WERE calm – relaxed and totally unworried, which was unnatural for either of them – while Dr. Green kept repeating that first line of the song over and over. She started to rise.
“Wait.”
There was an air of command about that word, and Jo found herself sinking back onto the pillow. She watched as Dr. Green rose and escorted Tara to a door that opened from his office into a real examination room. She could see it from where she sat. More-or-less typical Health Services room, but again, nicely decorated. It even had a butterfly mobile over the exam table. He pulled a set of scrubs from somewhere just inside the door and handed them over.
“Tara, there’s no reason for you to have to face the indignities of a gown –I personally hate the things. The scrubs are extra large, and I can examine your leg just as easily that way. I shouldn’t be very long – just get comfortable in there.”
The blonde nodded and Dr. Green closed the door.
“Okay, Danielle.”
“Yes?” Dani answered evenly.
“Would you mind waiting outside?”
Dani shook her head and left the room. Jo noted that her girlfriend was completely and totally compliant. Stepford Dani. She shuddered – now there was an unappealing image!
“Okay, Miss Hutchinson.”
“What are you?” Released, she surged to her feet, her hands balled into fists at her sides, but utterly uncertain what she was going to do. For that matter, could she do anything?
“I’m a Healer with a touch of Sight,” Dr. Green replied calmly, “who happens to have a medical degree. Both are erratic … fortunately.” He sank back into a chair again. He cocked his head, to all appearances an all-American middle-aged boy. Waiting.
“You read minds.” It was more an accusation than a question.
His salt and pepper hair flopped onto his forehead as he shook his head, “No. Not really. I get images and impressions sometimes. Mostly I just get emotions. I have to interpret a lot.” He hummed softly as he waited, his expectant gaze never leaving her face.
“Why fortunately?” She frowned. That hadn’t been the question she had been going to ask, but it would do, she supposed.
He answered with a question. “Would you want to know what everyone was feeling all the time, Miss Hutchinson?”
“Okay, you have a point, but I would think that being able to Heal all the time would be a good thing.”
“It would be if it had an on/off switch, but it doesn’t. Magics usually have a price attached. When it’s there I have to use it; if I ignore it, the need to use it builds until it feels like a full-body migraine. It doesn’t feel particularly pleasant, but obviously there are times when I cannot or may not act.” His gaze dropped to the folders as he added, “Among other things, I have no intention becoming a rat in a government laboratory.”
“Oh,” Jo felt a bit overwhelmed. “Sorry.”
“You are,” he acknowledged, scrutinizing her from beneath thick brows, “But it’s not like you did anything.”
She shrugged, silently agreeing.
He had the next question. “So why is a nice, normal, milk-fed girl like you involved with a witch – maybe two – and a vampire’s leftovers?”
“They’re my friends.”
He leaned forward, focusing intently on her. “Are they? By your own words earlier you have doubts of that. You said you’re a friend ‘to’ them. That implies a certain one-way nature in the relationship and makes me wonder why you are involved.”
That was as pointed an attack as she could ever remember receiving from Dani. Jo trembled with anger. “I would do anything for them,” she snapped. Even as the words left her mouth she wanted them back, suddenly afraid of what Dr. Green might ask her to do.
“One of the things that constantly amaze me is how some innocent little thing, like a clothing choice, can reveal a personality.” He pointed at her ‘Just Do It’ t-shirt, and she automatically crossed her arms over the slogan. He just sighed and sat back in his chair, tapping his pen on the files in his lap for a few moments, before speaking again. “Jo, you have the wrong end of it. I’m not a bad guy. For that matter, I’m not THE bad guy, either. I’m just a doctor with a curious streak, who wonders why you are knowingly hanging out with these two girls. The fact that they’re together doesn’t surprise me overly much. Your presence, however, is anomalous. When I saw you in the waiting room, I thought of one reason right off – that you’re a danger junkie. But ...,” he held up a hand to quell the protest rising on her lips, “… you’re not, are you?”
“No.” Jo eyed him warily and then settled onto the edge of a chair opposite him. “I’m not. My first reaction to danger is to run the other way.”
“And yet….”
Jo interrupted, “They need a friend. They need me.” She took a guess and added, “And that’s what you wanted to hear.”
“Partly. But if you dislike danger …. You do realize that having witches and a vampire’s thrall for friends is going to put you right in the thick of it?”
That was definitely a question. Jo felt a lump rise in her throat and remembered her fear on Saturday night. She had wanted to leave – to run all the way to Wisconsin, to home – so badly then. Until she had realized that the danger was everywhere, not just here in Sunnydale.
Her answer was a hoarse whisper, “Yes.”
“Jo.” Dr. Green leaned forward, his boyish face serious. “The damage you can do to Danielle by leaving right now is minimal. If you have any doubts, if you want to bail – now is the time. Because your wording is correct; you are a friend ‘to’ her. She hopes for more but can’t quite believe in it … yet. Your leaving now would be a setback. It’d take a bit longer, but she would still heal. Later – it would be devastating.”
“And Tara?”
He sat back. “She has good shields.”
Jo frowned. “Which means what? You couldn’t read her mind?”
“No. It means just that.” Dr. Green paused and pursed his lips while he gazed at her, seemingly measuring her fitness and gauging her strengths.
“She needs me, too.” It was statement and question.
“She doesn’t need another betrayal,” Dr. Green corrected her mildly before continuing. “Doubtless, she’d survive it, but …..”
Jo interrupted. “I found her after the monster attacked her – well, actually some other students found her – but I sort of directed things. She was so afraid. She’s afraid of so much and is still so brave.” All she had to go on was an interest in pop-psychology in high school, but everything about Tara screamed abuse. She looked at the doctor, willing him to read her mind this time, but he simply continued to gaze at her.
“Patient-doctor privilege,” his voice was unequivocal, but that gave Jo her answer, confirming pretty much everything that she’d ever thought about Tara.
There was only one response that she could make and remain who she was. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for Dani – I’ve already told her that – and Tara, well, I’m here for her, too. I’ll be right there, like I’ve been from Day One.”
Dr. Green looked down at his lap for a moment before fixing her with his gray gaze. “It’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood … a beautiful day for a neighbor, would you be mine? Could you be mine?”
“Exactly” Jo confirmed, even as her stomach knotted with anxiety.
“It won’t be easy with Danielle.”
“I kn …..”
He shook his head. “No, you don’t, but The Powers That Be seem determined that I’m the one to enlighten you.” He rubbed his knee, the one that he limped on, as he spoke. “For what it’s worth, the modus operandi for most monsters, human or supernatural, is usually pretty simple. Killers kill, rapists rape. Some vampires feed and move on; that’s not good. Most feed, kill, and move on, and that’s worse. But, Jo, a few – fortunately, very few – like to play with their food. Danielle was unfortunately a victim of that last kind.”
“Yeah, she might have mentioned it.” Wow, that sounded incredibly snarky!
Dr. Green refused to be drawn. He continued, barely making a reference to her reply. “While I’m certain she told you about it, I’m also certain that she didn’t tell you everything.” He paused and stared at her intently. “She was completely under that vampire’s control, Jo.”
“So you’re saying Dani was Mina Harkered. That’s okay, I can work with that.” She nodded vigorously. She wished she felt as brave as she sounded. ‘Dracula’ hadn’t been nearly as scary when she’d thought it was fiction. Her fingers pinched the fabric of her t-shirt. She could do it.
Dr. Green shook his head, smiling sadly. “You think you can. But .….” The pause stretched on, and she finally got tired of waiting for him.
“But what?”
“So far as we know, that vampire is still out there. Its hooks are still in her, Jo, and you don’t know what that means.”
“You’re saying that when the chips are down she’ll head back to Sarah?”
“No, I’m saying that this vampire, Sarah, broke her. Danielle is like Mina Harker, but with a large dose of Renfield. The vamp controlled her, but Danielle was not entirely unwilling.” He didn’t look at all pleased to be telling her this. “In other words, Jo, if that vamp’s still in town and wants a new toy, she’d have very little difficulty persuading Danielle to take you to her. At this point in time, she is not a neutral party; she’s actively dangerous.”
Jo sat stunned.
“I thought you should know,” he murmured after several moments.
“She wouldn’t hurt me.” She sounded doubtful even to herself, so she tried again. “She wouldn’t!”
“She wouldn’t, all things being equal, but … with vampires, they aren’t. It would not be Danielle’s choice, but that vamp – Sarah – could coerce her.”
“Why should I trust you?” Jo demanded, aware that she was being rude, but no longer caring.
He sighed. “A. As I said, I’m not the bad guy here, although you have only my word on that – along with the fact that I
am Healing Danielle, a bit more quickly than she would heal conventionally.”
Well, that was certainly true. Dani’s scars looked much older than two months. She sighed, accepting that Dr. Green was at least acting on the side of good. “I guess if that’s ‘A’, there must be a ‘B’?”
“There is indeed. B. Your choices are somewhat limited.”
That was a major understatement. Actually, they sucked beyond belief.
Dani wasn’t Parker Abrams, and wouldn’t leave her. But Jo could do it – she could leave. She could betray the other girl. That would be the safe thing. She was aware that a tear was sliding down her cheek, aware that her hands were trembling. She stared into her lap at them, willing them to stop. She could leave Sunnydale; there were other colleges. She could leave Dani and Tara and Willow and everything. But … he was wrong about Dani. He had to be.
There was another t-shirt slogan – No Fear; that would be handy. She looked up. “Can’t you do anything?” She wasn’t sure herself what she wanted him to do.
“I’m a Healer, Jo, not a miracle worker. Besides, fear is good.” Dr. Green drummed his pen on the files and gazed at her. “You have a good heart and you’re sensible.”
“Blame growing up in Wisconsin.”
“Ah, I was right then about the milk-fed.” He grinned briefly, then offered, “There are a few small things I can do, mostly on the order of strengthening your common sense not to go into basements and dark alleys and such. Mostly so that if you get a wiggins, you won’t be tempted to stupidity.”
“Dani and Tara … they need me. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I didn’t really think I could scare you off … much as I’d like to. Free will is a bitch sometimes.” He sighed. “And even if it might seem like a good idea, I won’t take anything away, just make certain things a bit … blurry.”
She really didn’t want him messing with her mind … she really didn’t. But … “Okay.” Her voice cracked a little. “What do I do?”
“Sit there and try to relax. My magics always work better if the patient is calm.”
Right. Sure. No problem. I can do calm, even though you just told me my girlfriend could feed me to a monster! Her thoughts skittering about, she forced herself to breathe deeply, until she at least appeared calm.
He sat quietly for another moment before picking up his song again. “With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza.”
Jo shifted again. She didn’t know what to expect. What did Healing magic feel like anyway? Would there be lights, like last night? At last she settled back in the chair, stretching her legs out and crossing her ankles; there was no reason she shouldn’t get comfortable while she waited for him to do something. That song was more or less interminable, but she listened to him sing it, verse after verse, as Liza and Willie discussed repairs and materials – from the straw, the axe, the whetstone, the water, all the way back to the hole. Dr. Green had a pleasant singing voice, the rhythms and words of the song were familiar, and repetitive or not, the childhood memories she had of it were all pleasant. The tensions she had felt earlier, along with her worries, slowly receded. As the song drew to a close she was relaxed and feeling pretty good.
“Jo …..”
“Mmmmm?” She looked at him with a smile.
“There’s no rush, but on your way out, please tell Danielle to come in.”
“Okay.” She watched him stand and cross the room to the doorway into the examination room. He seemed like a nice guy, pleasant and funny. All in all, she could see why Dani liked him.
****
Tara had closed the door behind her, the soft click it made registering distantly. She felt hazy and relaxed as she undressed and donned the soft baggy scrubs. Her apprehensions about coming to Health Services had vanished as soon as she looked at Dr. Green. Everything about him was contained; he fit within himself in a way that most people didn’t. He was the first Healer she’d ever met, and his energy was as strong and compassionate as that ability might suggest. She smiled to herself. He seemed an interesting man. She liked his office; with its eclectic mix of decorations, it felt personal rather than institutional. She also liked his sense of courtesy. It fit with her upbringing, and while she knew that it was because he had “read” her, she still appreciated the effort he made to be polite.
She slid up onto the examination table carefully. The scrubs were extremely oversized, but still much more modest than a gown. She wondered if all his patients got the scrubs or if he was just being sensitive to her own particular issues. It wouldn’t take much magic to sense that she had some. It didn’t really matter, but she was happier to be covered – and warmer, too.
Had he not been a Healer, Tara was certain that her anxiety over being at Health Services would not have receded. It was strange; he had been weaving spells around her and Jo and Dani from the moment he first spoke to them, yet she trusted him as she never would another magic practitioner whom she didn’t know. She trusted him as much as she trusted Willow. But then, he was a Healer, and by the laws that governed magic, he couldn’t be anything but good. Evil and Healing powers couldn’t reside in the same vessel; that was why so many saints were healers. She glanced at the door. Convincing Jo of that would be an interesting feat, but at least he was out there laying the groundwork.
She grinned. Poor Jo, getting all indignant because he’d “read” her desire to be with Willow as soon as possible. That he’d sensed Willow hadn’t been a surprise to her at all. Willow was her everything.
The doorknob turned and Dr. Green stepped inside, closing the door behind him. “You’re very lucky indeed, Miss Maclay, having a true love like Willow and a true friend like Jo. You’re far more fortunate than most of my patients.”
Tara’s gaze dropped to her lap but she smiled.
He pulled a stool up, but kept a comfortable distance. “Let’s get started making you as good as new. Tell me about this thing that knocked you about first, and then I’ll take a look at your ouchies.”
****
She closed the door and gently touched Dani on the shoulder. “Hey, sleepy-head.”
“Mmm, Jo.” Dani pressed her cheek on her hand. “Sorry, I guess I dozed off – happens every time I come here.”
She smiled at her girlfriend. “No problem. I just finished a few minutes ago. Dr. Green said you could go on in.” Her foot nudged the very institutional plastic and steel chair Dani was sitting in. “It’s much more comfy in his office.”
“Yeah.” Dani slowly rose to her feet. “Comfy chairs.”
“But no Spanish Inquisition.” Jo grinned and wrapped her arms around Dani.
“No, thank the gods. I’d probably get burned at the stake.” Very gently she kissed Jo’s lips, murmuring, “And this would get you a bonfire of your very own.”
“But it would be so worth it,” Jo whispered back. “I’m not going anywhere.”
****
“So, Miss Maclay, tell me again why you waited a day to come to Health Services.” Dr. Green dropped the pants leg he’d raised to look at her knee.
Tara squirmed a little on the table, unable to look at him, her heart beginning to pound. She’d had little difficulty answering any of his questions until this one, but now she just lifted her face and gave a little shake of her head.
“I’m guessing it’s related to those secrets you’re guarding,” he probed gently.
That was so close to her truths that she couldn’t control her face.
“Shhhh, it’s okay, just relax, sweetie. I’m not reading you right now. You get to keep those dark patches, but …,” he paused, his face utterly earnest, “if you need anything, anything at all, you come to me. Okay?”
She nodded, immensely relieved. Safe. It was all safe. The demon and her family, no one would know.
Dr. Green drummed his pencil on the file. “Tell me what you’ve done to treat yourself and what if anything you put on your injuries.”
That was an easy question. She began to talk.
****
Willow darted through the door into the Health Services waiting room. It was more or less on the way to Tara’s dorm, so there was no harm in checking to see if her lover had finished. It would only take a moment; if Tara had left already, she could hurry on. A moment’s survey located Jo, who seemed to be cat-napping in a chair, but no Tara or Dani. Did that mean Tara was finished but Dani was still inside? Willow approached the dozing girl and reluctantly woke her. “Hey.”
Jo looked up at her and yawned. “Willow. Your girlfriend and mine are still with Dr. Green.”
“Together?” Her eyebrows shot up.
“Uh-huh.” Jo nodded and yawned again. “I was there, too, for part of it. The information-gathering part. It was interesting, my first group session at Health Services. Kind of weird.”
“Oh.”
“Dr. Green is really good, though; he’s been Dani’s primary physician since she was hospitalized,” Jo reassured. She glanced at the clock over the doorway into the inner recesses of Health Service. “They shouldn’t be much longer; in fact, there Tara is now.”
Willow turned, a radiant smile blossoming on her lips as she caught sight of her love.
Jo chuckled. “Hey, don’t go all supernova on me, okay?”
She did, of course, but not on Jo; she was focused on Tara, who crossed the waiting room, her smile growing with every one of her steps. She needed her, needed to touch her, and smell her, and kiss her … it was incredibly difficult not to do any of that.
Tara’s hands trembled on her bag as she too ignored her impulses. “Hey.”
“Hey.” She could feel the ache she’d endured all through class slowly recede. They stood there, just basking in the glow of one another’s presence for a few moments.
“Um, I’m going to wait here for Dani,” Jo advised, grinning.
“Huh? Oh, okay.” Willow answered without even glancing at her.
“We’re going to have an early dinner, if you want to join us …..”
Willow finally looked at Jo, and started to answer, “Uh …..”
“No, I don’t think so, I h-h-have class at 5. Maybe tomorrow?” Tara made their apology.
“’Kay.” Jo accepted, yawning again, and then added pointedly, “You girls have fun.”
“We w-will.”
****
The walk back to her room was so filled with Willow-babble that Tara began to feel uneasy. It almost seemed like Willow was erecting a wall of words between them. Fortunately the walk was short, and the moment the door closed the redhead’s restraint disappeared. Willow filled her arms and she hugged her tight.
“I missed you,” Willow whispered into her neck; she could feel tears.
“Sweetie, wh-what’s wrong?” But Willow was silent, unable or unwilling to talk, and Tara would never force her. The words would come eventually, and she would be waiting. She caressed the silky hair on the back of her lover’s head. She wanted to do more, but the backpack was in the way. Her fingers found the padded straps and she eased them over Willow’s shoulders. As the pack dropped to the floor, she shrugged her own bag off.
There.
Her arms enfolded the redhead and they swayed together in silence.
. Lord knows the girls has earned some fun-time after all this.
when I don’t get to write. Darcy was really pleased that I was able to update – she says I’m much easier to live with once my feedback addiction is being satisfied. I’m glad that you like Anya; she has been a longtime favorite of mine and so underused on BTVS. Thanks for reading.
My Anya is the humorous one from BTVS but she’s also a bit deeper; I hope I can continue to write her well. As for Willow in leather … yum. 
Thanks sweetie. 
for Tara. I'm really anxious to see how you'll handle Willow's 'coming out' 
yay lots of tara!!! even though there was no willow/tara goodness....*pout* it's ok i still love you! hooray for the update...hurry on the next one if you can, and the best of luck with your kitty...*sends it lots of cuddles and hugs*
*sigh* How I adore her... but you already knew that.
Pax! -Bev 
Okay, now you have me blushing from all your compliments. I find neither Tara nor Willow particularly ‘fun’ to write when they go off on one of their introspections. But it’s necessary to write them as they are and as they were; otherwise they are simply cardboard versions with the same names. With Buffy and her thoughts on being a Slayer, I went all the way back to a S1 episode, the one with Owen, “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”. Owen was a hunk (at least to Buffy and Cordy), a nice guy, and when he found out about her, he thought being in danger was cool. From the way the script is written, he seems to want to help, but I get the feeling that he also wants to watch. Buffy breaks off the budding relationship when she realizes that being around her would get him killed. That’s where that whole spectator bit came from (together with that bit of mother-daughter bonding in Gingerbread). Thanks. 
so as a Pens writer, I try to comply. Willow and Tara complement one another. Neither one has a particularly great self-image, but they each think that the other is wonderful – and that is what gives them strength. That’s how they begin to grow. If you tell someone something often enough you can usually make them believe it just a little bit – and that’s all it takes. Thanks again sweetie. 
I'm likin' the doc...and his forwarning Jo of what might be with Dani and Sarah...hmmm...I wonder if he'll be sticking around...
hehe..loving these additions... 
<-- LOL 
, and did i mention the 
