Some responses (sorry I haven't gotten to those ... I'm a hoser *G*) and then the fic. Yippee.
**ExtraFlameyWT: Heh ... the bouncing green smilies will give it away every single time.
**blameburner: *G* Gee ... little excited? Sorry it took so long ... now all y'all know what I mean when I say I'll be posting slower.
**Tiggrscorpio: Yeah, you and me both *G* But the W/T of the AD story (as opposed to the W/T running around the rest of Pens ... I can't help but see them as AU versions of each other, and therefore different, because they've had these different experiences, y'know? *G*) demanded I write about them some more. They want to work through their issues. And I don't know if I have a wringer quite as intense as the whole "Walking Through Hell" thing ... I mean, really - how do you top that? ... but I'll certainly try.
**Bobos Mom: Heh ... that's quite a, umm ... collection *G* And thank you ... I'm really glad you liked the beginning of AD ... I was kind of afraid that it was weird and would keep people from reading *shrug* It was pretty much a special case, though - I have no idea if I'll be able to fit that into this sequel. Perhaps I'll be able to work the concept into a vignette? I don't know - but thank you *G*
**zero and Autumn: ROFL ... oh, God - it's always funny *G*
**wiccachica:
Quote:
Oh sweet dancing monkeys in the moonlight!!!
Oh, how I love thee, wiccachica. Sorry this took so long, sweetie ... I'll try to post more often, just for you *G*
**Owl: LOL ... thank you, Owl. Gosh, it's just such a warm and happy and fuzzy feeling to have everyone so excited about this fic. And I don't think anyone or anything is ever truly ready to witness your smittenness
**bulldog tidnab: Awww, shucks. Thanks *G* Glad to see I'm not crazy
**tkheaven: And a hat with a little propeller on it is >always< fun *G*
**IsayAmberBensonsgorgeous: Heh ... thank you *G* It's always wonderful to hear from new people who read or are reading AD ... it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside *G* Glad you liked it, and I hope you enjoy the sequel.
**tommo: Why, thank you, Ruth ... I just seriously hope I can live up to all that *G* The idea that me writing a fic involves divine intervention is both flattering and ... okay, actually, it's just flattering. Really, >really< flattering.
**areslei: Oh, there will definitely be many more updates. And probably the first twenty or so will be me figuring out what the hell I'm doing writing a sequel
But thank you very much ... I'm very glad you enjoyed AD ... and, umm ... I really want to hear about these 'interesting dreams' it gave you *G*
**Sivi27: Oh, wow - you printed out AD!? And thank you so much. It gives me a happy that I gave you a happy
As for persuading me to write ... ummm ... can you fast-forward to winter? Daylight Savings Time messes with my head, as I prefer to write when it's dark *shrug* Stupid sun.
**Puff: Why, thank you *G* And here's the next part - sorry it took so long.
Title: Lingering Darkness Part 1 - Time
Author: Sassette
Feedback: Can be sent to
pink_overalls@yahoo.com Summary: Willow and Tara converse.
Spoiler Warning: Up to and including "Tabula Rasa" in Season 6 and for the previous story, 'Answering Darkness'.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. The stories all mine, though.
Rating: PG-13
Notes: For the purpose of this story, all events of Tabula Rasa took place exactly as shown in the series; however, all subsequent events appear in the story 'Answering Darkness'. This story picks up where the previous one left off.
Lingering Darkness Part 1
Time
By Sassette
Willow fell through the strange portal-thing between the murky water and the cave, landing heavily on the floor.
Her eyes flew open as the fall in her dream made her whole body jerk, the sudden movement on the bed waking her up and a fine sheen of sweat covering her. She blinked twice, her breathing labored, and an almost paralyzing sense of panic washing through her.
Tara. As always, her first thought was Tara, and she blindly reached out a hand, a sense of relief washing over her when she felt the smooth skin of a familiar arm stop her motion. Still sleeping, Tara turned over at the touch, shifting under the blankets until she was sprawled across Willow's torso.
The welcome weight settled over her, and Willow felt grounded, the last vestiges of the nightmare drifting away, her panicked need to find Tara fading as Tara let out a sleepy sigh and nuzzled her chest. Her arms came up, wrapping around Tara's back carefully, her body tense as she tried hold Tara loosely, even though she wanted nothing more than to grab on like someone was trying to take Tara away from her.
But that was the dream talking, Willow told herself, squeezing her eyes shut tight and taking in a few steadying breaths, trying valiantly to calm down before she woke Tara up. No sense in neither one of them getting any sleep - on a school night, no less. The previous night had been spent irresponsibly wide awake and immersed in each other, and a small smile drifted across Willow's face at the memory. There had definitely been lots of bed and no sleeping involved. By previous mutual consent, neither one bothered with getting up in time for school and they had, instead, spent a lot of time catching up on their sleep.
Everything was quiet and still. She was safe, Willow told herself sternly, trying to quiet her ragged breathing. Everyone was downstairs, presumably where they had fallen asleep after the videos, and she and Tara were right here, tucked into bed, together and whole. Willow felt her heartbeat calm and the cool night air send a chill through her as it touched her sweat-damp skin. She turned her head, the glowing red digits on the alarm clock seeming to mock her. Three A.M.
Was it Ray Bradbury who had said that three am, rather than midnight, was the witching time, when everything was still and silent? 'Dandelion Wine?' No, that was the one with the shoes.
Then she remembered. 'Something Wicked This Way Comes.' That was right.
Another chill shook her body, but for an entirely different reason.
Three am, and it wasn't very likely she was going to fall back asleep.
Her brain was racing, as it tended to do when she most wanted it calm, and with Tara asleep she really didn't know how to quiet down all the activity in her head. Tara, somehow, always managed to quiet her down. A look, a touch - a special smile - and Willow's brain would happily grind to a resounding halt. But Tara was asleep.
She supposed she could wake her, but Willow was reluctant to do that. With careful touches, she traced the worry lines on Tara's face that were evident even in her slumber, her gaze easily finding the dark rings under Tara's eyes. They were both so very tired. It would be weird, she figured, if they >weren't< tired after everything they'd been through.
It was funny, in a way, how each of them had been so determined to be the protector - to keep the other safe at all costs. Well, it would be funny, Willow hedged inwardly, if the consequences hadn't been so 'almost-deadly'.
But what was really strange was how fast everything had happened - just this kind of whirlwind of happenings that left little to no time to stop and process everything. No time to think or plan or weigh the options. Had it only been a few weeks ago, when everything had started? Just a few weeks since Tara had left, and she had finally realized the depth of her dependence on Dark Magick? They had just been shoved into this situation where split-second decisions had to be made, based on too little information gathered too late, everything snowballing into a sort of 'hurry up and wait' mode that had left them ill-prepared for what they had eventually faced.
Such was the life of a Scooby, Willow thought with a little sigh. "I'm sorry," she whispered into the night, knowing Tara wouldn't hear her. "I know you don't like it when I get all apology-girl on you, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry you got dragged into this crazy weirdness and all the dangerous Scoobyage and the not happy Hellmouth happenings."
"Are you sorry we're together?" Tara asked softly, no longer feigning sleep. She had almost been able to hear the gears turning in Willow's mind after she had woken up and rolled over, snuggling into her lover. The bed had jolted when Willow had awakened, and there was no way she would have slept through it - not tonight - not after everything they had gone through, leaving her nerves on a razor's edge.
"No, never," Willow said, shaking her head emphatically against the pillow, her voice strong with conviction. On one level, she felt she should have been surprised that Tara, apparently, was awake, but somehow she wasn't. "I feel all selfish for feeling that way, but I can't be sorry for that. For this - I need it too much. I need you too much," she finished on a whisper.
"Good," Tara said simply. "You'd have been in big trouble if you'd said 'yes'."
Willow laughed lightly, taking a deep breath and releasing it as her arms tightened around Tara's shoulders, then relaxed. "I can be a dummy sometimes, but I'm not >that< much of a dummy. I mean, I >am< sorry that we're always fighting or having Scooby Emergencies, and that you're in danger and that you get hurt. But I can't be sorry that we're together, y'know?"
"I know," Tara said softly. "But sweetie? The Trickster was after me. So I'm the one who's sorry. I'm sorry he hurt you because of me."
"That wasn't your fault," Willow said, her eyes widening in disbelief. "How can you apologize for that? He's … he's a very bad man. Very bad. That's not your fault."
"He wouldn't have had any reason to go after you if it weren't for me," Tara said, shrugging a little in Willow's arms. "At what part is that not my fault?"
"It was never your fault!" Willow blurted out. "How can you possibly be held responsible for some stupid Hell God having a grudge for something that happened, like, two-hundred years ago?"
"Then how can you be held responsible for being born on a Hellmouth, being brave enough to fight against the darkness, and falling in love with me?" Tara asked innocently, and Willow could feel a small smile curve Tara's lips against her skin.
"Oh, curses," Willow muttered. "Foiled by your infernal logic and inarguably accurate analogies. That's not fair," she pouted. "Talking in circles and turning my own arguments against me. You got me all hoisty by my own petard."
"Well, no one argues a point quite like you," Tara said, lifting her head and resting her chin on Willow's chest so she could look into her face. "So I figure, why bother trying to argue? Why not talk you into making my point for me? And just what >is< a petard, anyway? I've never understood that line."
"It's a small bomb," Willow said absently, her fingers tracing a line up and down Tara's arm where it lay across her body. "They were bell-shaped and used to break through walls or gates. It came into English usage through the same word in Old French, which in turn was from the Latin 'peditum.'"
"Mmm … who needs a dictionary when they've got you?" Tara asked, snuggling closer. "So technically, being 'hoist by my own petard' would mean I got blown up by my own bomb?"
"Yup," Willow said, nodding slightly. "I think that actually used to happen. They'd mis-time the fuse, or it would detonate too soon, and the people using them would go flying."
"Do you think normal people ever talk about this stuff?" Tara asked, raising herself up on one elbow, and tracing the line of Willow's collarbone idly with her fingertips. Willow stiffened underneath her, and Tara frowned slightly. "What is it?" she asked softly, a concerned look on her face.
"I, uhh … I guess I'm, umm … kind of a geek, huh? Sort of, freakish and not normal," Willow said with a small frown.
"What?" Tara asked, her brow furrowing as her frown deepened. "Where did that come from?"
"Well, normal people don't know what a petard is," Willow said softly. "Or how the word developed. Nobody but me would care."
"I seem to recall asking about it," Tara pointed out gently, feeling like they were about to have a serious talk. She briefly thought of switching on the light so she could see Willow's face clearly, but decided against it. It was easier, sometimes, to bare one's soul in the dark - to expose the raw stinging parts of one's emotions would seem, at least subconsciously, easier without the light. "That would kind of imply that I care."
Tara felt Willow shrug beneath her, and she sighed. "Willow," Tara began slowly, composing her thoughts before continuing. "I didn't mean … when I asked if normal people talked about this stuff, I never meant anything bad. I just … I asked, and you knew, and I liked that. No, that's not right. I love that. I love that we talk about these random things, and I love that you have so much knowledge in that head of yours. And I love that you're the brainy type."
"You don't think I'm, umm … kind of a freak?" Willow asked softly, biting down on her lower lip and bracing herself for the answer. She knew Tara loved her - how could she doubt it after the past few days? - but that didn't mean that Tara loved every little thing about her, did it?
Tara sighed, a slightly exasperated, slightly indulgent look on her face. "Sweetie, downstairs right now are two watchers, an ex-demon, a demon hunter, a vampire with a soul, the chipped vampire took his coat and left, a mystical magickal key in human form, the chosen Vampire Slayer, and Xander. Do you think >they're< freaks?"
"No!" Willow replied instantly, her tone heated. "They're not freaks, they're my friends … and darn it, you did it again, didn't you?" she finished weakly.
"Now, no more putting down the woman I love, or I'll have to get tough with you," Tara said in a mock-stern voice.
"Oooh, promise?" Willow asked, a wide grin growing slowly across her face.
"Not in a good way," Tara said, a wry look on her face. "You only get Tough Tara in a good way when you behave." Willow pouted in response to Tara's clarification, and Tara couldn't resist, leaning in to drop a light kiss on the pouty lip. "We should really sleep. School tomorrow."
"Oh, God … school," Willow said, her brain turning over the idea of spending that much time in a classroom. "I'm, umm … I'm not sure I want to go," Willow said slowly.
"Not go?" Tara asked. "I practically had to sit on you to keep you from going today."
"Today I just kind of wanted to be back in my usual routine," Willow said with a little shrug. "I just wanted everything to be normal again, before I had a chance to think about it."
"And you've been thinking about it?" Tara asked, though she already knew the answer. Of course Willow had been thinking about it. Willow thought about everything.
"Yeah," Willow admitted softly. "I, umm … I don't …" She stopped, her eyebrows drawing together and a look of concentration crossing her face.
"What is it?" Tara asked softly, letting her hand trail down Willow's body to rub her tummy.
"I don't want to let you out of my sight," Willow confessed. "I'm afraid something will happen."
Tara was silent for several long moments, absorbing the words. She had to be honest with herself - she was scared, too. What she really wanted, deep down, was to just whisk Willow away - or maybe be whisked away by Willow … either scenario had its merits - someplace where they could just spend a good long time in each other's back pockets until the fear faded. She wanted some time where she didn't feel worried and scared … no, panicked was a better description for it … that something had happened to Willow, and that she hadn't been there to prevent it.
"I know what you mean," Tara said finally, lowering her body and letting her head rest on Willow's shoulder again. "So much has happened, and I just … I need to know that you're safe. All the time," she said in a small voice. "But we can't just not go to class," she pointed out with a sigh, her sense of responsibility asserted itself.
"We could drop this semester, retake everything in the spring," Willow said slowly, offering up the idea that had been hopping around in the back of her mind all day.
"Are you serious?" Tara asked, lifting her head again, feeling a little like a see-saw.
"Completely," Willow said, nodding her head a little to illustrate just how serious she was.
"You mean, drop out of college? For the rest of the semester?" Tara prodded.
"Well, when you put it like that …" Willow began in a teasing tone, then stopped, her voice completely serious. "Yes, that's what I mean. I think I need some time."
"How about we go tomorrow?" Tara said, her tone thoughtful as she regarded Willow's shadowed face in the dark. "You might change your mind after you're there," she said. "But if it's just too much, we'll go to the office and see about taking the rest of the semester off."
"I'm being silly, aren't I?" Willow asked in a small voice.
"No, you're not," Tara said, shaking her head. "I think … I think I'd really like some time off with you, too. So much has happened, and it's … I'd just like some time off. But I might feel differently in the morning, or once I'm actually in class. You might, too."
"Then it's a deal," Willow said, nodding. "We'll do classes tomorrow, but if either one of us - and I mean either one of us - has any problems, we both take some time, okay?"
"Definitely a deal," Tara said, snuggling back onto Willow's shoulder.
They lay there, the stillness of the night enveloping them, the sound of their soft breathing soothing each other as they relaxed and their fatigue started to overtake them.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Tara asked after awhile, her voice thick with sleep.
"About what?" Willow asked, her voice equally foggy.
"The dream - the one that woke you up," Tara clarified.
"It was awful," Willow murmured, a little frown turning down the corners of her lips. "Can we talk later?" she asked, holding Tara tight. "I just wanna' sleep now."
"Okay," Tara agreed, nodding her head against Willow's shoulder. "But we will talk," she mumbled, and Willow made a little sound of agreement before they drifted off completely, content to know that eventually they would talk about it.
Now that they were safe, they had all the time in the world.
______________________________________
I Think The Hellmouth Tastes Like Chicken -- Autumn
Edited by: Sassette at: 6/14/02 9:52:52 pm
erhm... officially i have no idea what you're talking about.
at: 6/15/02 12:25:30 am