Hello Kittens!
I'm sorry I've taken so long in posting this update, but family problems have been in my way, and my father's being a jackass (pardon the language), besides some other things that make me not be able to stay on the pc as long as usual. Hopefully, it's only temporary insanity on his part.
So, I can't reply individualy this time to your marvellous feedback. All I can say is thank you, and that it really means a lot to me, especially in this time of depression. Thanks a lot, and I hope you'll continue to leave me feedback and that you'll enjoy the rest. Thanks.
This update's dedicated to Arron! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
TITLE: Dark Core 11/?
AUTHOR: Washi (ZWS)
EMAIL: washi@dark-bliss.netRATING: R, to be safe.
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the characters, Joss does or whoever. If I owned them, do you really think I would let season 6 happen? And why the hell would I be writing this?
So yeah, all belongs to Joss, ME etc...
The lyrics in this piece are owned by their respective owners.
SPOILERS: Season 6, Older and Far Away. It veers off cannon afterwards.
FEEDBACK: I love it, I live for it, either here or by email, although here is better.
ARCHIVE: It's on
Blood and Ink. Ask and ye shall receive.
ANGST: Be carefull kittens, the ride is gonna be really angsty, and I'm not kidding here.
Thanks: Many thank yous to YMKA and Taras Shadow for their help, and also to bzengo and FIRESIGN.
NOTES: I don't have a beta in the real sense, but YMKA and Holly helped me along. Thanks again girls. All mistakes are mine.
Thoughts are in < > as always. Flashbacks, song lyrics and such are in
italics.
Many thank-yous to FIRESIGN.
*****
A while after, both of Willow's parents regained their composure enough for her to continue to explain what she wanted.
"Mom, Dad, if anything should happen to me, I want you to take care of Tara. She's the love of my life, and I don't want her to end up alone. Promise me." she pleaded, her eyes shinning brightly at her parents, begging them to do her will.
"I promise you sweetheart." Ira immediately said.
"Mom?" the redhead insisted, her eyes never leaving her mother’s clouded gaze.
"Willow, I promise, even though I know nothing will happen. You're going to be fine." Sheila replied, her eyes looking at Willow absently.
"Well, it's just in case. So, daddy, will you call your lawyer and have him come over tomorrow?"
"Sure Pumpkin." Ira said as he fought to restrain his tears.
"Great, thanks." Willow paused. " You both know I love you, right?"
Ira leant down and kissed his daughter on the cheek, unable to talk past the lump in his throat, while Sheila just nodded.
"Of course we do Willow. You're my little princess." he said, finally able to hold back his tears, swallowing almost convulsively.
Willow smiled, looking at the love she aw in her father’s eyes and then yawned. Seeing her parents and their reaction had fatigued her emotionally.
"Sweetheart, you should rest. Do you want me to tell Tara to come back in?" Ira asked, caressing her hair.
Willow nodded and smiled before looking at her mother who had been silent for a couple of minutes, staring at her daughter..
"Mom, are you okay?" Willow asked as her father walked out to call Tara.
"What? Oh, yes, I'm fine. Everything's gonna be fine." she repeated again, her voice strangely monotone and this time it infuriated Willow.
"No mother, everything may not be fine! I may die next week, or even tonight! I already dealt with the fact that I may die, so get it in your head!" Willow nearly shouted.
Sheila looked at her for a minute before she started crying and hugged her daughter close. Willow was shocked by the tight embrace, but it gave her comfort and she cried too as she thought again of the limited time she may have on earth.
Sheila pulled back as Ira and Tara came back in the room. She threw herself into her husband's arms and cried on his chest as Tara just stood rooted in place, looking at Willow's teary eyes. Willow offered her hand and Tara moved to sit on the bed, near her legs. They looked at each other, smiling sadly, their faces showing the signs of the tears they had shed.
Ira and Sheila both hugged Willow again and left. Willow looked at Tara and leaned in for a kiss.
"I love you."
Tara kissed her back, whispering against her lips.
"I love you too Willow."
"Baby, I'm so sorry for what I did. I still can't believe that I hurt you like that. God, I made us lose so much time." Willow said, looking into pained blue eyes.
"I know you're sorry Willow. And we'll make up for the lost time. We have forever, right?" Tara asked, looking hopefully into Willow's pale green eyes, begging her to not contradict her.
Willow lowered her head and stared at their clasped hands for a minute. When she raised her head, fresh tears were trickling down her face.
"Baby, I need to rest for a while now, but later, we have to talk."
"Ok sweetie, rest." Tara replied, her eyes glinting with unshed tears.
Willow moved forward and pressed her lips to Tara's in a desperate kiss, her eyes still bleeding tears. They clung to each other and laid down on the bed, Willow thinking of what she should do before she died, and Tara thinking that it was just a nightmare. Finally, their exhausted minds drifted into a dreamless slumber.
*****
Willow woke up three hours later to find herself alone in her room. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked out of the small window that looked onto the hall. She saw Giles pacing nervously in front of the room. As if sensing her, he looked through the small window and smiled, motioning to the others that she was awake. They all got up and entered the room, greeting her softly. Tara walked to Willow's side and sat down, lacing the fingers of her right hand with Willow's left before leaning in to place a soft kiss on her lover's lips.
"Sleep well?"
"Yep, except for the whole waking up alone in bed thing. But you're here now, so everything's ok again." Willow replied, smiling as she gave Tara a peck on the lips.
Anya glared at Xander before smacking him on the arm. Everyone turned their heads to see what new thing was making the ex-demon pissed off at her fiancé.
"Ouch! Now what Ahn?"
"You never say sweet things like that to me Xander! And I often wake up to find myself in bed alone. I'm going to have to chain you to the bed." Anya said before sitting down at a vacant chair.
Xander just shook his head. Giles turned and looked at Willow, focusing on her.
"Willow, I called the Coven in Devon and I explained the situation to an old friend of mine, Ruth. She said that there may be something she can do. She's coming over tomorrow." Giles said, smiling at her.
Willow couldn't believe what she was hearing. She didn't know whether to cry or smile. She finally settled on a compromise: a watery smile. Once she reigned in on her emotions, she smiled at Tara.
"Giles, what are the chances of her finding something? I mean, should I hope or should I just let go?" Looking at Tara's stricken face, she quickly started talking again. "I didn't mean let go as in... dying." She forced the last word out. "I mean, my father wants me to see a doctor friend of his, and what I meant was should I stop giving hope on the magical side and focus more on..." Willow trailed off, her eyebrows furrowing as she felt her heartbeat become erratic.
Time seemed to freeze. She turned her eyes to Tara, locking her pained green eyes on concerned blue orbs as Willow raised a hand to her heart, trying to steady her breath. Her breath was coming in gasps as she felt herself become dizzy. She could feel the irregular heartbeat in her ears, feel the blood flow rapidly against her eardrums.
Time returned to normal as Buffy rushed out to call a nurse. Willow laid back down and she focused on breathing in and out. Her eyes were still locked on Tara's as she took in mouthfuls of air.
She could see Tara mouth to her something that looked like: 'Willow, baby, breathe'. Or was she actually talking? Willow couldn't hear anything over the din of her heart beating rapidly in her ears. Willow's mouth was open as she tried to get in more and more oxygen.
As fast as it started, Willow felt the pulses become more regular. Her breathing became easier as she started hearing the sounds of the room again. A nurse came in and quickly she injected Willow with something that Willow dimly suspected as being some kind of mixture of drugs and potassium. After a few minutes, Willow blinked and tried to get up, only finding herself pushed back down by Tara's hand on her sternum. Willow looked into her eyes again and saw the tears starting to pool there.
"I'm okay." Willow whispered. " I'm okay." she repeated.
she asked herself.
*****
The drug the nurse had injected her made her drowsy and Willow fell asleep shortly after. Tara looked at her lover, and thought of this nightmare she was living. She couldn't believe that this was happening, that she may lose Willow forever.
Tara had always followed Wicca in her everyday decisions, except when her mother had died. She was seventeen at the time, and she had thought of raising her mother, of bringing her back, but her father had found her practising the magics and before she had finished the ritual, and, not unlike the other times he had found her using her power, he beat her up, his fists and belt mixing with the sound of his voice to tell her, over and over again that she was a demon, that she was nothing but a whore, prostituting herself to her demon side by using magic.
Bloodied and bruised, she had thought of her decision and soon, she had discarded it and thought of the stupidity of her act. Raising the dead was something that was against the natural laws of nature and the consequences of that act could be disastrous. Raising Buffy from the dead was something kind of different, because it was not a natural death. Still, it had nagged at her after they had done it, eaten away at her conscience. She knew that if Willow died, there would be a part of her that would demand for her to raise her, but the larger part of her would know that it would be wrong and she wouldn't do it.
she pleaded in her mind.
The thing was that no one knew was if this illness was something of the magical kind or if it was really just a normal mortal illness. If it was magical, then things could be done, Willow could be saved, but if it's a disease, like cancer, then Tara couldn't do anything against it. She had tried to save her mother from her cancer, she had tried so many things, so many spells, but nothing helped. Her mother had died.
And she was left alone.
Alone to the harsh and cold world.
But now, she had more resources to help. She had Giles, who knew a lot of magic, as well as Anya, who was also well versed in the occult arts.
And she had dark magic.
She had thought of it already. Of using black magics to heal her lover. But, if she did that, she would go against all that she had learned. And she would make a big mistake. Dark magics had already separated Willow and her once, and she wouldn't let it do it a second time. But if the last solution was using dark magics or losing Willow, would there even be a choice to make? Tara knew that at her last straw she would use dark magic, consequences be damned. But she was afraid that it would come to that.
She hoped with all her being that Giles' friend Ruth would find something magical for Willow. She prayed for it as she watched her lover sleep.
*****
TBC...
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"See? I've mastered this tact crap." Anya in Tears Of The Goddess by Lisa
The course of love doesn’t always run smooth, especially for the neurotic and accident-prone. ~ LadyB
.:Dark-bliss.net :..:My blog:..:Blood and Ink:.
Edited by: Washi 
at: 11/30/03 6:14 pm
. Willow needs sort of nice parents now, even when they weren't around much when they were also needed.
. Oh yes, Jonathan most definitly needs a good talking too, the non-verbal kind that is...: -->
Sigh, I know usually I'll have those long feedbacks and stuff, but right now I'm only thinking of 
But nevertheless Washi, these were two emotionally power packed updates. Well done once again Washi 
) Ya always make me think.....and now I'm speechless cuz I think too much...
Washi 
,
Now with that said, Washi are you trying to give me a heart attack!?! 
is going to write a will and she is doing it behind 
's back! 
Can't wait to 
more. Update soon, please? 
Tara's choice between black magicks and losing Willow. Hope it doesn't have to come down to that. Knowing that Tara will do anything to save Willow and not lose her again, yet resorting to black magicks which is the exact opposite of Tara. Choices. Choices. Sometimes we do crazy things for the ones we love don't you think? 
Holding faith in Giles and Ruth to finding a way to help Willow *fingers crossed* Great update Washi! 
). I loved this chapter and am eagerly awaiting to see where you take us next. Washi hun you have a great gift for writing and even though you said this chapter wasn't your best I found it to be compelling.