Co-operation appreciated! Pictures added!!

[Lifty]

Hey guys! I wasn't really sure if this is the right place to start this thread, or even if I'm allowed to start a thread like this *gulp*. I am at the moment in the process of creating my major work, end of year artwork for the finish of my visual arts course. I have, quite riskily, based my artwork on the topic of homosexuality (it is risky considering the amount of homophobia around here) and i want to bring to light in my artworks the difficulties we face in our society because of our sexual orientation. In doing so, i am required to have enough research to convince the judges I am serious about my topic, and also to solidate my artwork. I also want to put the audiences into the perspective of the people around the world who face the same struggles the growing population of homosexuals do in Australia.

I thought it would be wonderful if you guys could answer a few questions for me to help with this. I would be very grateful for anything you guys have to say. This is very important to me, you will remain totally anonymous, and i will be forever in your debt!

Here are the questions. If you have any questions just ask. You dont have to answer all of them. You can answer just 1 if you like. If you dont wish for the answers the be viewed on the kitten board then you can email them to me here harriet_rulz@hotmail.com.

thanks guys!

1. What were the reactions from your family when you ‘came out’?

2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation?

3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back?

4. Where your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out?

5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality?

6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups?

7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still?



Again, thanks!

[jay/wt4evr]

Hey Lifty
that's some though thing you wanna do! Good luck
Anyway
1 I my family only my mother knows and she's not ok with this, she's waiting for this 'phase' of mine to end so I'll hook up with a cute guy
2 Yes I've been bullied a lot from people I really thought were different, more mature, but that's life so I just ignore them
4 My guy friends were absolutely...guy-ish, cos they were all 'cool, let's check out chicks together and discuss about girls', and the girl friends were absolutely amazing, been very lucky
5 I my life I find hard not to express what I feel, like, if a girl looks beautiful, if a boy tells her he's even charming, if I tell her I might be avoiding-worthy
6 I don't, cos if something's bugging me about this topic I come here on the Board or talk to a friend {If this is what you meant}
7 No I didn't, I just fell head over heels so it was pretty simple

Hope that helps

[Zooeys_Bridge]

1. What were the reactions from your family when you ‘came out’? I'm very lucky to have a very open, loving family. Everyone has been really great. Parents(especially moms) can be a little different, so at first it was a little hard for her, but she's been wonderful. Anytime she has a question she calls me up and we talk.

2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation? Well, I haven't. Then again, I'm not really 'in the workplace' yet, I'm still a student. To make it even better, I'm a student at a very liberal college campus in a town that's got the most lesbians this side of the Mississippi. So the gay thing is not even worth batting an eye over in Northampton, Massachusetts. Unless there's some juicy gossip to be had

3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back? I have, and as recently as January. I knew what my parents reactions were going to be like and I had the unconditional love and acceptance, it was just a matter of me being ready to tell them.

4. Where your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out? Yes, very much so. I'm also from a fairly liberal town in New Jersey and I have a very nice group of friends wherever I happen to be. Not all my friends know, but it's because I haven't gotten around to telling them. I don't see them on a regular basis, some only in the summer, but when I see them, I should really tell them.

5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality?Again, I'm incredibly lucky and am right now living in a bubble of gay love. So I think trials and tribulations relating to GLBTQ are really going to happen after I graduate and go into the real world.

6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups? No.

7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still? I did at first, even though I knew it wasn't anything to be ashamed of or at all "un-natural". Which is why it was so confusing for me. I finally figured it out in '06. Sheesh, took me long enough. I'm pretty set with myself now.

Hope that helps! If you're wondering about anything else, don't hesitate to send me a PM.

And good luck with your artwork!
My friend, a transman, did a his thesis last year(he's an art major) about gender and stuff like that. He did photoshoots of people on campus(I was one! that was fun), who are all female, and dressed them as masculine/androgynous as possible. Then he made postcards of these pictures and sent them out all over the US asking people gender-related questions about the pictures like: choose which bathroom they'd be most comfortable seeing these people use. We got a really bunch of interesting things back, everything from "Male, female, etc;" to "whichever one they feel most comfortable using".

[Lifty]

Hey guys! Thanks so much for the responses!

And Zooeys_Bridge, your friend's idea sounds fantastic! I hope it worked out well for him I'm not doing photography, seeing as i'm not really that good at it, I'm actually drawing like hundreds of pictures of various things to do with my topic, sticking them on a massive display board (like the kinds that hold ads at the train station) and then I'm going to hang it up in public and my friend is going to photograph the reactions from passer bys. I'll definately send you a PM if i need more help

Keep the answers coming guys!

Lifty.

[masterjendu]

Heya Lifty! Hope this helps...

1. What were the reactions from your family when you ‘came out’?
I told my three brothers first and they each just hugged me. When I started to tell my mom, I prefaced my little prepared speech with “you can ask any question you’d like”. Unfortunately the first question outa my mom’s mouth was “What do you do?” I was suitably mortified! : ) She took it pretty well, but I think she still harboured a hope that I’d “find the right guy”. My dad’s response was that I had been my own person since about the age of four, so all the power to me!

2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation?
I would say that I am not entirely open to people who don’t really matter to me. It is not a conscious effort to hide my sexuality from bosses, etc. just that my love life doesn’t have to be public knowledge. If it came up, I most certainly wouldn’t deny it, but if it doesn’t come up, I’m not gonna throw it in anyone’s face. However, there have been situations in my past where I deemed it necessary to remain ‘in’: 1. I was the coach of an under 13 girls soccer team (7 years ago) and knew the parents wouldn’t have handled my sexuality well (as one of my co-coaches explained it: they would see me as a ‘sexual predator’). 2. I worked in South Korea for a number of years, and although I was out to all of the other foreigners, I made a conscious effort to hide my sexuality from all of the Koreans I worked with. This was mainly because homosexuality is not acceptable in Korea. These are two experiences I have learned a lot from. If I were to coach a girls team again, I would do so only if all of the parents knew I was a lesbian.

3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back?
Yes, indeed, but it took me about 3 years to do so fully. I’d say the main issues holding me back before I came out were coming to grips with myself as a gay human. These issues were mostly preconceived notions garnered from a pretty conservative surrounding society. Don’t get me wrong, I was totally respectful of anyone around me who was gay, but when it came to me, it was a little bit different. I didn’t help the confusion that I was totally in love with my straight best friend.

4. Where your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out?
Absolutely! My best friend’s husband often offers to ‘wingman’ for me! And of course all of my friends “knew before I did”.

5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality?
Uh... my gaydar sucks the big one!!!
I’d say the most difficult thing is that I really don’t know how people are going to react. I am getting better at not really caring; if they have a problem with it the problem is theirs, but when it comes to professional situations (such as being a teacher), possible reactions are definitely worrisome.

6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups?
Nope

7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still?
As I alluded to in question 3, I did indeed have trouble trying to figure out how to be Jen and how to be gay. It wasn’t until I realised that I could still be Jen while I was gay (that being gay didn’t actually change who I was) that I settled down. Luckily this realisation really didn’t take very long to come to and I have absolutely no problem with my sexuality now. I have since come to believe very strongly that sexuality is fluid and that love knows nothing at all of gender. Lucky for me, I just happen to really like girlie parts!

Jen

[dlline]

Well, I'm never one to pass up an opportunity to listen to myself, so here you go, Lifty.

1. What were the reactions from your family when you ‘came out’?
My mom said she already knew, my dad just nodded (he's like that...it's not a bad thing), and my brother was kinda upset because he said that I dated better looking girls than he did. When my grandmother was 90, she asked if I was gay and I told her the truth. She was good with it for the most part also.

2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation?
I had one big problem. I got thrown out of the US Air Force for being gay. Other than that, everyone has been pretty good to me.

3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back?
I came out, officially, in 1984 and I've never looked back.

4. Where your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out?
Other than the Air Force, everyone has been really good to me.

5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality?
The fact that I am self-employed and that I have no health insurance affects me on a daily basis. If gay marriage was legal, I would be covered on my partner's insurance.

6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups?
No, I don't.

7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still?
None. Once I figured the whole thing out, I was so relieved that I never wrestled with it, ever.

[Lifty]

Thanks so much masterjendu and dlline!!! You guys rock!

In addition to the questions, just today I came up with another concept. I went to the mardi gras fair day and they had this thing called the 'History Wall' which any member of the public could write on, about anything! I want to have like this massive canvas (i've already started it) and basically, Im going to paint a portrait of someone with the rainbow flag, and over the top i want people to write stuff, random, preferably associated with being lesbian/gay/trans.

I'm gonna hang it up in public for people to write on, but i also want you guys to have a say, if you want to. So if there is anything you'd like to 'write' on this billboard-like artwork i've got going, feel free to tell me, cos that would be great! I like the variety!

You can be totally random if you like.

I will write it up for you, or someone else will, so that all the handwriting isnt the same And when it's finished, if you want, i can send you a photo

If what i just said isnt clear, then ask me to clarify it more.

[Foomatic]

1. What were the reactions from your family when you ‘came out’?
I told my sister first, and she was kinda like, "Duh." Then I came out to the rest of family one fateful Thanksgiving Break in college. My kid brother was pretty nonchalant about the whole thing, but my mom took it bad and started sobbing. Dad was shocked, but said that no matter what I was still his daughter and that he loved me. Oddly, now my mom is more cool about it and my dad is the one who kinda gets weirded out.

2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation?
I used to work as a pre-schoolers, and it never really came up until one of the mother's saw my engagement ring and asked questions. She was cool, but then word got around and my kids started asking about my "husband." I just kinda deflected the question (5 year olds are so easy to redirect), but honestly, the parents probably wouldn't have cared, but I was so weirded out about how they'd look at me that I never said anything.

But the company I work for now is extremely gay friendly (company float at the gay pride parade!), so no worries now.

3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back?
Out and proud since 2000.

4. Where your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out?
My friends were pretty much like, "We already knew," and have been super cool since the beginning. My parents live four hours away, so they don't get to see my partner and I as much, so they're still a bit distant, but I know that they've come to accept the way I live my life.

5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality?
Not so much day to day, but we plan to have kids really soon, and I worry about how having two mommies will affect them as they grow up, both personally and socially. I mean, you can't get anymore liberal than the Bay Area . . . but no matter where you go there will always be narrow-minded people.

6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups? Hehe, does the board count?

7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still? Surprisingly, no. I was very Zen about the whole thing.

[Guest]

Hey Lifty ^^...

1. What were the reactions from your family when you 'came out'?

Cousins are considered to be blood brothers and sisters in some cultures such as mine. I have only come out to a few of my cousins who have expressed their acceptance differently. It was relative to the degree of oriental values integrated into their self. The higher their cherishment of these values, the less accepting they were. But it always started with a lot of questions on any past heterosexual experiences before a final embracing of my orientation.

2. Have you had issues in your workplace because of your orientation?

We work mostly with middle and lower class families coming from town suburbs or slums. Their sense of values is enmeshed in the traditional role of the family. I keep my sexual orientation quiet at the workplace as homophobia is pretty high. Most people simply assume that everyone is straight and that is the conforming trend.

3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back?

I haven’t at local level.
Simply the cultural outlook on honour.

4. Were your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out?

Most of my international friends have offered compassion and understanding. At the local level, some reticence persists but I have two best friends at work (who also happen to be old school friends) who are really cool about it and highly encourage gay loving. However, the two are Therapists. Coupled with their love, it helps explain the higher level of support.

I am as yet unsure of how my family would react exactly when faced with the truth but the testing of the waters done previously did not yield positive results.

5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality?

Clandestine living that involves constant vigilance and dissimulation of any verbal thoughts that may lead my parents to know I'm gay.

6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups?

None at all.

7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still?

I had immense difficulties dealing with it as I used to feel I was the only gay person around and we had a strong heterosexual conforming background at school. It took me all of my adolescent years and part of my young adulthood days to struggle through it and finally reach an acceptance of my identity at 23. That was last year. So in the current context, I'm comfortable with who I am but still battling with a rooted notion of honouring the family.

[masterjendu]

If you can, I'd like you to write: "Love knows nothing of gender" on your cool work of art, Lifty!

Jen

[Lifty]

Beautiful, wonderful answers guys Nimloth and Foomatic, thanks so much, and masterjendu, it would be my pleasure! Consider it done.

[Paint the Sky]

Lifty, I wish I had said this but i didn't. Its a quote from Pearl Bailey, an American commediene and entertainer, but it might be appropriate for you banner.

You never find yourself until you face the truth.

Good luck with it all

[writerfreak]

1. What were the reactions from your family when you ‘came out’?
They disowned me, in a very large way. I don't talk to them hardly at all, never if I have my way.

2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation?
No. They are very accepting where I work.

3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back?
Yes, a very long time ago. More than a decade.

4. Where your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out?
Bioligical family, absolutely not. My friends are my family now, and they accept me no matter what.

5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality?
It's a lot harder to get a date in a small town where the glbt community is me.

6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups?
I've thought about it and done a lot of research on a few different ones but never joined.

7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still?
No, I knew from a very young age and accepted it. My sexuality has never been a question for me.

writerfreak-rdt

[EvilKittycatofdoom]

1. What were the reactions from your family when you ‘came out’?
My mom & brother are the only ones in the family who know my brother doesent really care (he's 9) and my mom just kind of ignores it.


2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation?
not realy the only job i have is babysiting and i have had a couple people turn me down for jobs but most people didnt really care


3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back?
I didnt actualy come out so much as my mother read an e-mail i wrote to a freind about a dy of silence thing we where doing at school and a post i had wrote on
thekittenboard,
if anyone asks i tell them the truth but im not officialy "out"


4. Where your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out?
my mom just kind of ignores the issue when she found out she was kind of freaked she refused to use the words 'lesbian', 'gay', 'sexuality' ect

5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality?
Mostly when people dont realise that when hey make the offhand comments or jokes that put anyone in the LGBT group down can hurt

also if I get regected for a club or something that i really want or worked hard for because of my sexuality is hard (i live in a verry closeminded cristian town)

6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups?
nope

7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still?
no my mom mde it verry clear since i was a baby that under no curcumstances is being differnt in any way bad and that i
should accept and embrace anything that made me differnt




Dose that help? let me no if u need anyhind else






(sorry bout any spellin mistaks me sleepy )

[Willowtree252]

1. What were the reactions from your family when you ‘came out’? My parents had a major melt down and said that I did not feel this way to get over it. my Daughter has a big problem with it but my son is really good with it as long as I am happy the rest of the family supports me.

2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation?
I am a school bus driver so we cant talk about it I have been told that if parents find out that even though I am good at what I do the district will find a way to get rid of me so my close friends know but other then that I am quite but I do refuse to hide who I am.

3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back? out completely.

4. Where your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out? All of my friends when I told them said well duh we already knew that and yes very supportive my family for the most part yes my parents never came around.

5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality? not being treated like heterosexuals it should not matter that I love a woman simply that I love.

6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups? nope I have a wonderful group of friends and we look after each other.

7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still?
no it has always just be natural I wouldn't know how to feel anything else I have always known I love woman.

[Dorothy]

1. What were the reactions from your family when you ‘came out’?
My mother was totally cool with it (kind of the only thing she ever accepted about me )
My father had to get used to it, but after a while he was all like "oh, well, guess you're realy my daughter, becouse I love women too!"
My grandmothers didn't have too much trouble with it, one of them loves me whatever I do (except for that one time I almost set fire to het house accidentally) the other one put a little efford in it going "ooh, but boys are nice too, aren't they, you could find a nice man if you try!" but didn't realy push me. My aunts and uncles are all cool with it, just like the nephews and cousins (the ones who are old enough at least)
My sisters are ok with it too, though the youngest had a little trouble understanding at first, but I´ve been out since she was a todler so perhaps she was too young


2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation?
Not any that I know of (maybe a little gossip behind my back) it would be ilegal if there was major trouble, we´ve got laws on that kind of things.


3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back?
I came out when I was about eleven years old


4. Where your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out?
yes they were, though some needed a little time to accept.
edit: I just realized I lost some "friends" who became scared of me loving them but they were never really good ones anyway (good friends would never let such a thing ruin a friendship)


5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality?
Mainly the prejudices, or sometimes even hate some people with a different cultural/religious background or upbringing have towards lesbians, but I try to never re-closet myself. This would be unfair to other LGBT and to myself, I'd rather bear the consequences than look the other way and keep other peoples prejudice in place by not showing my real face

I got out of a nice one yesterday, some guys on the bus, who clearly had been drinking, shouting to a boy in drag about Allah punishing him, to stop them from bullying the poor transvestite I asked them if there was any problem with me being a lesbian, we ended up having a little discussion and in the end they apologized for all they had said, without me even asking them to do so! I'm so proud I had the courage to do that Though I admit I was really scared at the start


6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups?
Not on LGBT lately, I have been active on some online-boards in the past.


7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still?
Nope, I haven't, never really had as far as I can remember
And I live in a place where I can get married so I never will

[Lifty]

A big thanks to Paint the Sky (great quote), writerfreak, EvilKittycatofdoom (Your spelling was fine. god, im so tired myself), Willowtree252 and Dorothy!! I am so happy with the amount of replies coming in! Its fantastic! Thanks so much guys, and keep it coming

[JustSkipIt]

Hi Lifty,
I hope this helps. If you have any questions, want detail or clarification or anything, just send a PM.

1. What were the reactions from your family when you 'came out'? Reactions really varied and I didn't come out to everyone at once or in the same ways. My mother I came out to first and she reacted very very badly and stereotypically: I'm so ashamed, what will people say, you're not my daughter, etc. A few months later she completely recanted and was very accepting. A few years later she came out herself. At the time of her death we had a wonderful relationship and she was always tremendously accepting and loving of my partners. My brother was like, "you're my sister, sis. Cool." One sister was like, "no shit." The other, mind-bogglingly, was "well, I can't believe that. I mean I though so once but I thought you'd gotten over it." (interestingly, I didn't come out to her, my step-mother outed me to her). My grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, are/were absolutely loving and wonderful.

2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation? I first came out at work about 15 or more years ago. Since then, I've never been in and it's never been an issue. I had a job where people were gossiping and asking each other and I went to a happy hour and someone told me that. I said, "Why wonder? Ask me. Yes, I'm gay. Yes, I'm single." That ended that. At my current job, the biggest issue is that I don't get equal rights. My partner can't get benefits although my kids can and if one of her family members was to die (her grandmother died 4 years ago) I would not get any leave time for it. Other than that, my work absolutely views me as they would any other person, spouse, "father." I took a month and a half of maternity leave with each child.

3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back? Yes.

4. Where your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out? It really hasn't been an issue since I very very first came out to my mother over 20 years ago.

5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what's the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality? Not having equal rights for my relationship.

6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups? Nope.

7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still? When I was about 15, I had a hard time with it. I think my main issue was isolation. I didn't know any gay people and didn't know where to find them and didn't want to "be alone" forever. It was a different world with no gay/lesbian people on TV and there was no Internet so I didn't know where to find people.

[Lifty]

Thanks JustSkipIt! ahhh, equal rights. That just frustrates me so much. We've been fighting for rights for so long. Again, thanks

[amazon]

1. What were the reactions from your family when you ‘came out’?
I've only told my mom, and she was really nice about it. She gave me a hug and was just really supportive...She never talks about it though, or ask me about it.

2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation?
I'm still in school and no one in my class knows about it....yet.

3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back?
I came out about a year ago to my best friend and then my mom. I'm still in a kind of "coming out-process"

4. Where your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out?
Only my mom and 4 of my friends knows. All of them are really supportive and totally accepts it. One of them is even gay himself.

5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality?
Can't say that i have met any major difficulties yet, but of course it's a bit hard that many of my friends doesn't know. But I'll tell them when I'm ready.

6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups?
No

7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still?
No problems here. I'm very proud of beeing gay, always was and always will be.

[Lifty]

Hey amazon! Thanks so much! I hear that recently in Norway they are going to, or they have legalizd same-sex marriage! That could just a rumour I randomly picked up, but if it's true, then yay!

On another note, my time limit for this research is coming to a close, so if anyone wants to add anything, then it would be great if you could do it within the next week

Thanks guys

Lifty

[amazon]

I hear that recently in Norway they are going to, or they have legalizd same-sex marriage!

Yeah, I have my hopes up. I don't think that it's decided yet, but possibly it will be later this spring or summer.

[lisa-and-katie]

1. What were the reactions from your family when you ‘came out’?

Only told my brother. He is great with it and said he wasn't so surprised.


2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation?

Never mentioned it, it's unnecessary. Occasionally have to skirt around the issue of men !


3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back?

To totally come out I would have to feel no-one would care or comment.


4. Where your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out?

2 friends went weird on me, although at the time, I hadn't sen them fora while. One didn't really believe me with regards to an ex who was also their friend.


5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality?

Being able to talk freely without feeling I have to cover my tracks. Not being able to look at atractive girls without worrying that they'd ask me what I was staring at.


6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups?

No


7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still?

I enjoy the lifestyle , I always knew, can't fight the truth !

[Miss Elly]

1. What were the reactions from your family when you ‘came out’?
I told my mom when we were both in the car. Told her that I was "bisexual" and that I was just looking for someone and not their gender, even though I had a girlfriend at the time and was/still a lesbian. She was cool about it (probably because she's a lesbian herself). My sister kinda knew already. She knew about my girlfriend and I can't, for the life of me, remember how she figured out. I'm pretty sure that my dad and brother know, they just ignore it.

2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation?
Well, I don't have a job yet... so I'm going to say that my workplace is at school. I go to an a girls Christian school and surprisingly more than half the girls there are open minded. But it's a Intermediate school so some of the sixth graders there don't even know what a lesbian is, or they just don't understand it because they haven't given it much thought. So... No. I don't really have many problems.

3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back?
Yes, I'm out. The only people I'm not out to is the people to claim that gays and lesbians are going to burn in hell because, hello, common sense.

4. Where your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out?
My parents just kinda go along with it. They don't really support my relationships with girls because I'm only 13, but they also don't put me down either. My two best friends are lesbians, so if they put me down then that'd just be mean and hypocritical.

5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality?
Well, last year, our school went to a hotel with a water slide and all that fun stuff for the end of the year trip. Somehow a rumor got out that I was having sex with the girl that I was sharing a hotel room with because we both stayed inside for the most part. Some kids this year know about that rumor and it's hard being around them when they think I'm some under aged girl who sleeps around with whoever, but I manage.

6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups?
No. I live in a small town and it's hard to find places like that.

7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still?
Nope. I had no problems and still don't.

Thank you for the fun questions

[Lifty]

Cheers lisa-and-katie and Miss Elly :D Thanks for the help!! hehe, glad you found the questions fun

Haha Miss Elly:

gays and lesbians are going to burn in hell

Ever heard the quote, i think it goes, 'if all gays and lesbians go to hell, i can't wait, it's just going to be one big gay bar'? So whenever someone says we'll burn in hell i just laugh it off. They really know NOTHING.

[Miss Elly]

Ever heard the quote, i think it goes, 'if all gays and lesbians go to hell, i can't wait, it's just going to be one big gay bar'?

Haha. No I haven't, actually, but I know I'll remember it

[Lifty]

haha, yay

[Belli Bear]

I must confess, I ran out of surveys on Myspace and just had to give this a go lol!

Hope it helps!!


1. What were the reactions from your family when you ‘came out’?

I told my sister when I was 16. Her and I have always been very close so she didn’t think anything of it and has been nothing but supportive for the past 5years. Parents-wise, well I told my mum first when I was 18ish and she kind of internalized it and nodded a lot. She then told my father and my father has never spoken to me about it at all. He still refers to my girlfriend as ‘your friend’, when it comes down to it though, my entire family supports me in everything I do and always have, so while one could misread their reactions as unfavorable, I know that in the end they still love me so its all good. Having a girlfriend for them to get to know has also helped, my mum loves Stace to bits and everybody’s embraced us fully so all in all, good reaction.

2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation?

Um not really, where I used to work only one girl knew, she was the daughter of a family friend and around my age so she was cool with it. My workplace at the moment is my university lol. I casually come out to whoever I meet and have more than a 10minute conversation with by mentioning my girlfriend and I’ve never had any bad experiences.

3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back?

Yeap, I’m generally an ‘out’ person in every aspect of my life except family. Heavily traditional extended family so to save my parents some awkward embarrassment over not knowing what exact stance to take on my gayness I’m happy to omit it from discussion, they ask if I have a bf, I say nope, and thassit. I think it’s the same for our parents as it is for us, you can’t come out until you’re ready.

4. Where your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out?

My friends were generally supportive, having gone to a Catholic all-girls school I chose to come out after graduation, unfortunately, someone told a heavily Catholic, uber judgmental bitch called Emma and she, in turn, told the rest of the year level. Not having seen a lot of people since I don’t know if they’re supportive or not? Then again, not really caring much about them it doesn’t really matter does it lol? In general, the friends that mattered and my family were supportive to the max.

5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality?

Hmm, probably the fear of engaging in open conversation with people at uni, I find it hard to mesh the two sides of my life together in a social setting. I’m fine until people start talking about their boyfriends and then it gets awkward and I’m not sure what road to take. I guess it comes in time.

6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups?

nope, or well, I mean, is the kitten a discussion group? I think it is? We talk about gay stuff so yeah! Kitten

7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still?

Um, that’s a tricky question. If it was just me looking into a mirror than no I didn’t, I knew what I was and what I liked before I hit primary school. I think I had problems with how my world would come to terms with my sexuality lol. As I said before, heavily Catholic school, very wealthy and privileged and blah blah blah. Though my actions throughout high school don’t reflect how I was feeling inside, I definitely knew I was gay and had no problem with it. Once I got a bit older and discovered that I did not have to be what my school expected things got a lot clearer.



-BellXxX

[gabbles]

1. What were the reactions from your family when you ‘came out’?
Well, half of my extended family dont know, or if they do, they pretend not to-they are very racist/homophobic. My Mum is fine with it, has never had a problem with gay people-my girlfriend even stayed with us for Christmas (we avoided the extended family...lol). My brother was funny-"Oh...thats cool...I kinda new haha...it could just be a phase...though its fine....are you sure? Cause it's cool, I kinda new anyway...it could just be a phase, and thats fine. I knew though, haha, though, you know, you might find its a phase...though I love you anyway..." then got all embarrassed and made me a coffee. Hes a sweetheart, and has never made me feel uncomfortable, nor has he ever treated my girl badly. My sister is fine too, though she thinks constantly calling me Lesbian and Dyke proves that...shes 29, but acts 12:P...sorry this was so long haha

2. Have you had issues in the workplace because of your orientation?
Ive kinda figures out by now who you can tell, and who you should just avoid the topic with at work. It can be frustrating, though, having to avoid important issues in your life-but its better then risking some of the awful reactions you can get. But Ive never had an issues if people do find out at work so far.

3. Have you come out? If not, what are the main issues holding you back?
Yeah, Im out. What was holding me back was just a giant fear of rejections-which I got a fair bit off, but I figure those people were best out of my life anway.

4. Were your friends and family supportive of your lifestyle after they found out?
The ones that stuck around were fine. My sister tries to be understanding, but goes overboard and just makes me aware that she now relates me only to the fact that im gay-but I still love her for caring:)

5. As a lesbian/gay/trans, what’s the hardest, most difficult thing you face in your day to day life related to your homosexuality?
The constant fear of scary reactions-some people are obviously uncomfortable by the idea, others don't care either way (love those people) and others are quite scary with their reaction....I suppose not knowing which you'll get is pretty hard.

6. Do you attend any support/discussion groups?
The kitten:D there's a gay group on Campus, but for someone reason I've not been very motivated to go check it out.

7. Did you have any problems coming to terms with your sexuality? Are you still?
Yes, I did. Im okay now, but I had a hard time. In highschool, the thought of being gay was terrifying, especially because I'd hear my Aunty's and Uncles gay bashing, and that scared me-and also just the whole "Thats so gay, dude!"-the constant negative associations people made with being gay made you think it was the worst thing to be. But now, Im fine with myself and who I am. just have to wait for the rest of the worl to catch up, I guess.

hope that helps!

[Dorothy]

Ever heard the quote, i think it goes, 'if all gays and lesbians go to hell, i can't wait, it's just going to be one big gay bar'?

Haha. No I haven't, actually, but I know I'll remember it

so they believe hell to be a place with all lesbian girls and no straight men?how do I get there? Jump in the hellmouth? ummon the Gayest Of Demons? (notice the capital letters ) 'cause this hell-place sounds great