I've actually been looking at this thread for a while, and I've just been contemplating what to say...cuz I always have SOMETHING to say.
If you know me even a little bit, you know that I just got out of a 2 year relationship. And while most of that time was spent away from my girlfriend, it was still a good two years.
I was never one to believe in fairytale love, and I still dont. I dont believe in soul mates, I dont think there is just one person for everyone in the world. For a while there, I did. I thought this girl was the only person in the world I could love, but I realized after a short time, that I was forgetting who I was and instead trying to be who I had to be if i wanted to stay with this girl.
I grew up watching the deterioration of my parents marriage, and even though they are still together, it still is so messed up. My dad used to be gone for weeks at a time on business trips, so I have really no memory of him when I was younger. So, I attached myself to my mom...
BIGGEST mistake I could make in my life. I essentially became my mother in all aspects. In short, she's a crazy psycho bitch. And all she ever taught me was that I dont know how to be in a healthy relationship, and that love makes you weak...all I know how to do is fend for myself and be a bitch to the people who are the greatest to me.
I also found that at this point in my life I just want to "love" so many people...I dont use that word the same anymore I guess. After losing the one person in the world I thought I could love forever, I discovered that love for me comes and goes easily...and unless there is someone who will be in my future who can put up with a lot of bullshit, who loves me even after they find out all the negative baggage i have, and who can prove to me that there is such a thing as love, I don't ever see myself being in a purely loving relationship again.
I am so happy that there are a bunch of you that have love in your lives...I know how hard it is to lose it...but I decided to stop this evil cycle that keeps happening in my life and just not love again. I have a couple physical relationships that help me get through my days and nights, but nothing that makes me feel as safe as I did before...I can only wish to have that again, and I can only say to those of you who have that safe and wonderful love in your life - you're lucky, or maybe just not as screwed up as me...but even if i dont believe in love for myself, I believe in it for all of you...I guess I just needed to get all that off my chest...but I'll stop writing now, I have a life that needs living.
"Everything you need to know is in that first kiss."
goes out to those who knew True Love, and have lost that special person. I can only encourage you to "grieve, but not to lose hope." It's just my opinion, that if the one you loved, loved you (as you know s/he did), then they would want you to find, and know, Love Again (No guarantee it will happen . . . but let yourself be open to it, when the Time is Right. 
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Out
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