Which Would You Choose?

[Garner]

Let's see if I can word this correctly. This debate came up due to W/T, but can be expanded beyond them pretty easily.



If you had the chance to meet your soulmate, fall in love, be together and all that, but knew it would end with your death after only a year and a half, maybe two years, would you do it? Or would you forsake this and live a dull, plain, uneventful life, but presumably one that was longer?



I sort of boil this down to is it better to have loved and lost or not to have loved at all? And, which is preferrable, a short exciting life, or a long duller one?



I'm curious what other kitten's reactions are before I post my own thoughts on this.



Garner

[Sparky]

Hmmm...now that's a tough one. I mean missing out on the chance to meet and spend time with your soulmate would be bad, but dying isn't pleasant either.



I personally would go for it, I mean a lot can happen in a year and two years would be even better, but before I got into the relationship I'd be honest with the other person. Both have to know what they are getting into, but there would be memories made, and snuggles had, not to mention some other great things to do .



The sad part is for the other person, because you said I'd die. I'd get to live all these wonderful days making memories, but then I die--leaving the other alone and sad. I wouldn't feel the pain that they would. I know if the roles were reversed I'd do the same, but it would definately be hard. I do think it is better to love then to never love, and be alone in this world. We all need someone to help us get by day by day, it makes it a bit easier.



Well...that's just my opinion.

She's my girl, she's my everything.

[SJ]

I think it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. So that's what I'd choose.

[pacou]

Oh, interesting *rubs hands*



I would definitely choose the "have loved and lost"... I guess mabye I'm a little naiv but I think that love can make up for anything and if you just love, but really love for one moment (of course it's better to love more than just one moment ), this one moment make up for anything, it makes up for all the pain that you've been going through, it makes up for all the long , lonely nights.... for ANYTHING... so it's way better than live and not love



I know it's kind of naiv... but I would choose a quite short, intense life over a long, numb one... it's as simple as that



-Viv-

"Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired."
Robert Frost

[werewolf123]

All life is short. It is better to die in a hurricane then to never know the storm. I think Tara would agree with that.

[Insanity]

Well, if it was only for me, I would choose love and lost, but I'm not sure what I would decide for my soulmate, who has to live on after...I think thats the really tough part.



Insanity

"Nobody messes with my girl!"Tara, Bargaining

[Tempest Duer]

I'd choose love, because I'm not afraid to die. But I'm not sure I'd want to leave my soulmate behind to mourn... but then, if she truly was my soulmate, she'd choose the same.

Choosing not to decide is still a choice.

[Garner]

To play devil's advocate though, there is something to be said for "ignorance is bliss." Without having loved at all one is saved from a great deal of pain, and in this case as has been mentioned the soulmate is also saved from having to go through that loss and somehow continuing on, which would be incredibly hard. You also would probably have a lot more energy for other things which might not be bad.



Two things seem to color the longer and duller vs shorter and exciting dilemma. One is that you never really know that the short life will be short. To the person living that life things seem to have unlimited potential and you wouldn't know that you would die on X day. That would tend to make that a "fuller" life lived to the utmost. On the other hand, the duller life really isn't probably as dull as it might seem to an outsider. You would still have your own concerns, desires, dreams, things to accomplish and set backs, annoyances, bad things that happen. It might all be very mundane, but then when you are involved in that mundanity directly, it all tends to take on added significance because it is happening to you. Where as even the most exciting sort of life can be less interesting if you aren't the one living it. A fine tale to hear for a while, but not really all that important.



Finding someone who was actually your soulmate must be a very powerful and unique experience that would be hard to describe to others. It might be worth it despite any pain along the way and the knowledge of a short time together. Would you still want to meet your soulmate if you knew they would be taken from you, in other words dies, in a couple years? Being the surviving member would obviously be harder.



Garner

[intricate mirage]

I'd choose love. To finally find your soulmate, the one person who completes you is, in my view, a rare chance and one of the greatest gifts that life could bestow upon us. I don't think I will ever let that chance just pass me by, I will hold on. I don't know how I'll deal if I found my soulmate only to have to see her go, but I'll try my best to be strong and make it through. It would have been what she wanted. Life will get better although the hurt may never go away, but it's better this way, to have felt complete once and to have memories to hold on to, rather than to be left feeling empty forever.



All in all, love. Without a doubt.

~ Cas



---

"You're something beautiful, a contradiction.

I wanna break the spell that you've created."

© Muse

[ShamelessEve]

loved and lost, definitely.

[RaiStarr]

At first I want to say love, but then I feel all guilty about the left behind soulmate. To love them and leave them. If they never knew the love of a soulmate but were just content with someone else, they wouldn't know what they were missing... would they be better off that way? I dunno





Rai

[LiquiDreams618]

Hmmmm.......interesting and perplexing question. I would have to say love. I'm a sucker for love though. Who said something like, "it is better to love and been loved then to never have loved at all"?



MJ

[Garner]

I don't know who actually said that, but they must have been a kitten. If anything, this question seems to confirm in my mind that kittens are all hopeless(??) romantics. I tend to agree personally. The experience is probably worth the associated pain, but then there are times when it does seem like being "fat dumb and happy" is the way to go. Enjoy what you have and remain ignorant of the far greater possibilities out there. But then that might be the ME influenced bitterness and cynicism coming out. If love really is the most powerful force in the universe, then experiencing the most devoted form would seem worth any price.



Garner

[dynarb]

Grk, hmm, found the love, lost the love, I know she is still out there... what do do. I think I'd follow this quote:



I'd rather have found and loved than not to have loved at all"



Dyna

----------

Tara: You think you know. What's to come. What you are. You haven't even begun."

- Restless



Amber Benson Accolade

[angelofinsanity]

well, i do believe in re-incarnation, so i reckon if i do find my soul mate in this lifetime- but know that i'll die, well, i'll just wait for the next lifetime where i (hopefully) have a more prolong life and search that person out again.



haha- well, thats' just me

STacy

[LostWithoutTara]

I agree with loving and losing.The pain would be agonising, but there would always be memories and I believe short periods of happiness and loving memories would be preferable to a lifetime of loneliness or hollow, unhappy relationships.

Every time you walk away, I pretend that I'm okay

[JaxiaKiley]

When I was younger, I would have picked never loved at all. I felt like I'd already been through too much pain and love really couldn't be worth any more. But, now that I've been in the real world and had my heart broken, I say love and lost for sure. For me, being in love just makes everything else seem so much better.

~Jaxia

If you pray for rain, be prepared to deal with some mud.

[Nikkii]

Welll me and Gemma think that if dying would hurt the person that loved you then we'd rather live longer and love from a distance, than let them hurt when we died



Nikkii & Gemma

xxx



_______________________________--

[amberbensontotallyrules4e]

I gotta say this is an interesting question, but I'm there with the better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all crowd. I'd choose that option if I was to be the surviving partner, because although it'd be hard, true love is always worth whatever you have to go through.

Now if only I could live up to that philosophy and tell the girl I like that I like her...

Luv

Rachel

[tara24alh]

Boy oh boy....very good question. Hmmmm.....all I can think about with this question is how I would feel if I was the one being left alone. That would be horrible to have my soulmate die. It would be the greatest pain ever experienced and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. So, I have to go with the....never being with my soulmate. I wouldn't want to cause that pain. I'd rather be alone and never love.



~Tara~

[EF Candle]

Wow...good question! Um...I personally would have to say...that I would get together with my soulmate. Two years isnt a long time, but it would be better being with them, than knowing who your soulmate is and not being able to be with them. If that made no sence, well...sorry about that!



FOREVER!

[Shadow]

I have never been in love... do you know how awful that feels?



I would go with knowing the love, and losing it if I have to rather then turning my back on love.



What's worse: being alive for a while or being dead all your life?

"They say true friend knows song in your heart.

You're my song when I'm torn apart."

Lifetime, Me

[3peanuts]

No doubt for me. I don't care about dying if I can spend a minute with a person I love and find bliss. Then, see ya in the next life with no prob.

"I like Amber Benson 'cause she's a proletarian" Sarabiga

Keynes was right

[annila]

From someone very close:



She loved a girl who loved her back. They were both married but their husbands were ok with this. Why?



Because of the situation described here. One of the girls was dying from cancer. She left a young family behind and a broken hearted husband and girlfriend.



Their whirlwind romance was beautiful while it lasted and I say it served a purpose but it hurt so damn much I still don't know if it was worth it.



The girl who died went a happy girl really, she knew everyone loved her and experienced a lot of happiness in the last months of her life, she really did, everyone made the extra effort for her.



But, it left a lot of people behind in a lot of pain. I don't think they will recover from this sort of pain, just try and live with it.

******

Remember not to abandon any living being!

******

[maudmac]

This is a good question, Garner, and I've been pondering my answer since you posted it.



For me, I think it depends on whether I would meet and fall in love with her before or after I knew what our future would hold. If, say, I met her, fell in love, and then found out that I'd be dead in a year and a half or two years, I'd want to stay in that relationship, no matter what the future held.



But if some magical being appeared and offered me those two options, without me knowing anything of my soulmate until I'd made my choice, I do think I would walk away and let my life and my soulmate's life go wherever they went.



I really don't think that being alone necessarily equals being miserable. Furthermore, there's much love to be shared between two people who might not be "soulmates." I'd rather have a somewhat less blissful but, probably, much longer life than have only 2 years with a soulmate. Especially because the bliss in that situation would likely be quite dampened by our (or at least my) knowledge of my impending death.

---

I have often been adrift, but I have always stayed afloat.    --  David Berry,  The Whales of August

[RosenbergLover]

I'd take the route where we're not together. I mean, if you really love them, you don't want them to hurt right ? It'll hurt 'em when you die. So I'd choose not to be together and keep them from all the pain.

[Auriam]

I think i would do it

[jay/wt4evr]

I'd go for it, cos I would be living a half-life without my soulmate

[Willowtree252]

I would go for it also cause one moment with love is worth it better to have it a short time then never know true love.

[Yours]

I'd choose to love them. I could never go through my life knowing I'd never love the one person on this earth who was meant to love me.

You have to have pain in your life to understand and appreciate the love.

Love is what makes this world go round... I know that sounds corny but that what I believe.