The Trans Thread

[Tempest Duer]

The storm just hit your inbox, hon.

I believe in the madness called "now."

[Vampivy]

Hey sprhrgrl, check your inbox.



Patty

~ Darkness, Imprisoning me. All that I see, absolute horror. I cannot live. I cannot die. Trapped in myself. Body, my holding cell. - Metallica ~

[Tempest Duer]

Go us.



I think everyone should read this fic, personally. Trent is hot!

I believe in the madness called "now."

[Vampivy]

I want to read it. Pretty please . sprhrgrl, what can I do for the privilage of reading your Fic. Look I can do my happy Dance for you if you'd like? Yes? No?



Patty

~ Darkness, Imprisoning me. All that I see, absolute horror. I cannot live. I cannot die. Trapped in myself. Body, my holding cell. - Metallica ~

[sprhrgrl]

Hey, this is the trans thread . . . Not the discussing Puck's fic thread. . . (half grin) If you have any comments about it, there's proper forums for them, but they aren't here. This discussion can move to my inbox, mmmyes?

everyone's a super kid

Sweetie, I'm a fag. I been there. - Tara (Dead Things shooting script)

A muscle cramp? in your. . . pants? - Tara (Older & Far Away)

[Tempest Duer]

Okay, fine! Be that way! Or shall I post a discussing Puck's fic thread?

I believe in the madness called "now."

[thetabbycat1123]

I just wanted to introduce myself to the trans thread.I am Tabitha a MTF Transgendered person.I love the fact that people are finally talking about TG issues without the exploitation.



I took a writing test to determine my gender.Female all the way.





Why I am at it.I am a genetic male who identifies as female and likes women.I consider myself a lesbian but I hate the phrase tryke.It is a combination of transgendered and dyke.Dyke is a slur for lesbians.



The reason I am asking is a friend keeps calling me a tryke because she heard that was the correct term.I asked her not to.I am a MTF transgendered lesbian not a bike for kiddies.



Do ya'll think I am overacting?

[sprhrgrl]

No, I totally dig that. I'm in a class called performing gender at school and we're doing monologues from Genderqueer. . . The woman who wrote my monologue identifies as a tryke, and I'm cool with that. . . But if you haven't asked your friend to use that name for you, it's totally inappropriate. Just like one doesn't call lesbians who don't identify as such dykes. . . When we're talking reclamation, it has to be the person on the receiving end of the slur who decides that it's time for it to be reclaimed.

Sweetie, I'm a fag. I been there. - Tara (Dead Things shooting script)

A muscle cramp? in your. . . pants? - Tara (Older & Far Away)

I can scramble an egg, I won't eat it but I can scramble it. - Amber

[Gatito Grande]

Hello again Tabitha! I'm glad you found your way over here.



If you read some of my longer rambles on this thread, you'll see that I'm totally into anyone and everyone being accepted for the ID that they claim for themselves . . . not what anyone else says about 'em. You don't like "tryke"? Then you have the right to not be called tryke!



Just out of curiousity, what is your friend who keeps calling you "tryke"? A bio-woman? (lesbian?) Another MTF?



. . . but I'm rambling and digressing again, aren't I? Anyway, using your best lady-like politeness, ask your friend to call you by what you'd like to be called, and see where it goes from there.



Take it easy Tabitha!



GG Aaack! GG can't think of a witty closing line! Oh well Out

Edited by: xita  at: 11/11/03 9:47 pm

[Tempest Duer]

No sweat on the closing line, GG.



Nice to meet ya, Tabitha.

I believe in the madness called "now."

[thetabbycat1123]

My friend is straight.She is trying hard to be open minded.



She said she will stop calling me a Tryke.



She is trying.



Tabby Cat

[sprhrgrl]

Two things, the most serious one first.



November 20th is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. This is a day to recognize the lives of those people who have been killed due to hatred toward the trans community.



My trans group is putting on a candlelight vigil. Hopefully all of you can do something to observe the day, no matter how small.



On a bouncier note, I'm getting on very well with a fabulous genderqueer kid. We make each other very happy. (: They're coming down for Kate Bornstein, so it should be good times.



(edited to add a link to my fantastic flyer)

Sweetie, I'm a fag. I been there. - Tara (Dead Things shooting script)

A muscle cramp? in your. . . pants? - Tara (Older & Far Away)

I can scramble an egg, I won't eat it but I can scramble it. - Amber

Edited by: sprhrgrl  at: 11/14/03 12:18 am

[Tempest Duer]

First note, thanks for the reminder. I'll be doing something, even if it's small.



Second note, go you! That's great news.

I believe in the madness called "now."

[thetabbycat1123]

Hey,I told my preacher that although I believe the Gospels and that I believe in Jesus.I think that all this harping against Gays and the transgendered is not keeping with Christ's message of universal love and forgiveness.Why do adulterers and liars get a free pass and we are supposedly so horrible.

i told him I love him and the fellow church members but I cannot support his stance on these issues.If we are all sinners and God still loved us enough to die for us then he loves me my fellow members in the transgendered community and my lesbian and gay friends.I told him I did not know whether or not Tg and being gay was a sin and I really don't care.God made me this way.If it is sin he will forgive me.Maybe instead of worrying about other people's personal life the church should focus more on charity and loving others.



I am half expecting to be defellowshipped Sunday.I just could not keep quiet any longer.My dad is his assistant pastor so I expect to hear about it when I get home.I promised dad I would keep being a women my secret.I may not have a place to live after tonight.Mom said she will not let dad throw me out,but I am afraid he will give her "He goes or I go ultimatum".



I don't know if I can ask mom to choose between me and dad. I love my dad.I wish he was not so ashamed of me.

Thanks,I needed to share.



Tabby Cat

[Gatito Grande]

Tabitha, you are So Very Brave.



You will be in my prayers (to the God Who made and loves all LGBTs! ) for everything to go the best. All Kittens are with you in spirit as you make your witness to the Truth. Go You!



GG I wish I had a *fraction* of your courage. Out

[Tempest Duer]

That was incredibly brave, Tabitha. I admire your courage greatly. Good luck on Sunday.

I believe in the madness called "now."

[sprhrgrl]

Oh Tabitha. . . So so so brave.



I'm reading My Gender Workbook and there was actually just an exercise (page 100ish?) about religion - it suggested calling different religious figures and asking them how they felt about certain issues. Your post reminded me a lot, because the ones you brought up are the ones in the book. . .



The book is by Kate Bornstein, who if you recall was coming to my school. Well, they did and. . . Wow. I had forgotten that Kate didn't identify as a transwoman, and was really excited when I didn't have to add "or something else entirely" to the end of their sentences. . .



The lecture was fabulous. It was more like a performance, and it made me laugh and cry - literal tears running down my face. I don't cry in public.



One reason I was able to cry is I was with Cubbie, the kid I alluded to earlier. Cubbie and I are. . . (grin) they're my Cub-friend now. We introduced ourselves to Kate after the fabulous fabulous presentation - we had been sitting in the front and Kate had been making fun of Cubbie's enthusiastic laughing - and Kate was so excited. They complimented our names and was so sweet. It made me so so happy.



At the end of the performance, Kate said something about hoping that it had "inspired [us] to start [our] own gender journey, or if [we] [we]re already on it, shown [us] that [we] had some company." Kate looked directly at us when they said 'company', and also signed my workbook with something like "You probably don't need this book at all, but hopefully it'll be good for a laugh and some company on the way." So I feel like I've got an inside joke type connection with Kate Bornstein and wow. If you ever have a chance. . . Go see Kate, they're fabulous. Read Gender Outlaw and My Gender Workbook, anyhow. Some of the latter is pretty condescending, in an attempt to dumb stuff down, but it's still very very good.

Sweetie, I'm a fag. I been there. - Tara (Dead Things shooting script)

A muscle cramp? in your. . . pants? - Tara (Older & Far Away)

I can scramble an egg, I won't eat it but I can scramble it. - Amber

[Tempest Duer]

You have an inside joke with Kate? I'm jealous... but that is so cool.

I believe in the madness called "now."

[Gatito Grande]

sprhrgrl: am I reading you right? Kate ID's w/ a plural pronoun? That's so . . . interesting.



GG I've actually been fighting w/ my doctoral advisor, for the right to use the plural "they/them" to go w/ an gender-unidentified singular (in my doctoral dissertation). I think it's too clumsy to write "his or her" all the time, and I *won't* just use the masculine "he/him" w/ the singular when the gender is unknown. Out



Hey Tabby, how'd it go at church today? Remember that *God* loves you, no matter what any so-called worshippers say!

[sprhrgrl]

Kate actuall uses ze/hir, but I have my own grudges against gender neuteral pronouns and have imposed my theys upon them. Someone told me it was becoming more grammatically correct. Even if that's a lie, that's what I use.



I had his/her issues when I used they instead in some of my papers senior year. My teacher tried to kick me for it, which is especially interesting because their partner, I learned later, is trans. They're not really related other than in my head, but it's always funny when expectations I've made up aren't met. . . (shrug)

Sweetie, I'm a fag. I been there. - Tara (Dead Things shooting script)

A muscle cramp? in your. . . pants? - Tara (Older & Far Away)

I can scramble an egg, I won't eat it but I can scramble it. - Amber

[thetabbycat1123]

I was surprised.Dad did not say anything,until Sunday morning.



The preacher asked me to come into his office.Dad was in there and ,well they both surprised me.They said they believed it was a sin for me to dress in female clothing but that it was obvious that I loved the Lord as I was a constant blessing to the other members of the church.Instead of kicking me when I was down they were just going to pray for me.They would not pursue church discipline or take away my position as assistant youth minister.



Now i don't feel that I am down,but they basically decided to live and let live when they could have taken me to the woodshed.





They just asked that at home and when i come to church that I be dressed as my biological gender.



I don't have a problem with that.I chose to stay at my church,knowing how they felt,because I love the people there.





Tabby Cat

[Tempest Duer]

Thank Heaven for small favors. I'm glad things went as well as they did.

I believe in the madness called "now."

[Gatito Grande]

That's pretty excellent, Tabitha (though obviously I disagree w/ the "sin to dress as" part).



I often get so paranoid about the opposition and hostility out there, that I sometimes forget that, on the whole, things are getting Much Better.



Thank you, Tabby, for putting yourself on the line.



GG Onward and upward! Out



Oh, FWIW, here's a TransChristian site I found:



www.angelfire.com/on/othe...faith.html

[sprhrgrl]

::kisses tabitha's cheek::



hurrah!



it's always nice to be prayed for, too - no matter the hopes of the people who are doing the praying. (:

Sweetie, I'm a fag. I been there. - Tara (Dead Things shooting script)

A muscle cramp? in your. . . pants? - Tara (Older & Far Away)

I can scramble an egg, I won't eat it but I can scramble it. - Amber

[thetabbycat1123]

I just got some great news.My friends Rita and Chas are expecting triplets.Rita had her first ultrasound.She is having 2 boys and a girl.They both know how much I wish I could have a baby.They changed their mind,they don't want me to be the Godfather anymore.They want me to be the Godmother.



Not only that;they are going to name the girl Tabitha Francis Sanchez.Francis comes from my given middle name Franklin.



There are two cool things about this.One I am going to be a Godparent.Two Rita's mom hates it.She is what I call a frothing at the mouth fundamentalist catholic.She refuses to see Rita in the presence of Chas and she hates me.The one time she met me I was spending the weekend with Chas and Rita.Rita was at the grocery store and I was in a leather mini with a white blouse.She freaked.She thinks me and Chas have led Rita astray.



She actually told Rita if she had a choice she would rather have a child molester around her grandkids than me.



A child molester can be forgiven. Gays can never be forgiven according to her.



She does not think gay men and trans gals are molesters.She thinks we are worse than molesters.



That is why I am so glad that me being the Godmother sticks in her craw.Of course it would be an honor even if Rita's Mom was supportive but I must confess her outrage is a guilty pleasure.



Chas's mom loves me.She sent me a Victoria's secret gift certificate for my birthday.I think their satin panties are so comfy.



Chas's mom is a lesbian.She lost custody of Chas to Chas's dad cause she was leaving the marriage to be with her lover.



Anywho,I just felt like sharing.I thought this was appropriate for the trans thread.



Tabby Cat

[urnofosiris]

Congratulations to you and your friends Tabitha, they sound like really wonderful people and those kids are very lucky to have them for parents and you as a godmother.

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford Clinic.

--Patsy Stone

[Tempest Duer]

Thanks for sharing all that, Tabby. I'm glad they named you godmother as well, those kids are very lucky.

I believe in the madness called "now."

[Gatito Grande]

Congrats, Tabby! (your karmic brownie points are really coming up roses, aren't they? )



Just one thing though:

Quote:

---

That is why I am so glad that me being the Godmother sticks in her craw.Of course it would be an honor even if Rita's Mom was supportive but I must confess her outrage is a guilty pleasure.

---

Ah, Tabitha, many are the guilty pleasures I have known. The Germans have a word for it, "schadenfreude" :the joy you get from your enemy's suffering. Indulge it . . . briefly. I'm sure you know that, in the long run, it's best for the children if everyone in the family (inc. their godmother and grandmother) gets along.



GG . . . and the kids always come first. Out

[sprhrgrl]

Congratulations, Tabitha, and good luck. . . My godmother's the only one I've talked to about gender stuff. She's also my aunt. It turns out that she's a bit dysphoric herself. . .



I also wanted to remind everybody that today's the Transgender Day of Remembrance. GG, you word things so much better than I - want to start a daily thread? Anyone?

Sweetie, I'm a fag. I been there. - Tara (Dead Things shooting script)

A muscle cramp? in your. . . pants? - Tara (Older & Far Away)

I can scramble an egg, I won't eat it but I can scramble it. - Amber

[Gatito Grande]

sprhrgrl, I think it's a great idea (a daily thread commemorating Day of Remembrance)---but I think it would be better for you (or TD, or Tabitha, or someone else) to start it (my virtual mouth has got me in trouble here of late). I have every confidence in your verbal abilities, Sphere.



When you asked though, I thought about what I would say. For some reason, my mind drifted to that "show we used to watch." The episode that popped into my head was Gingerbread. Remember there were three witches? Willow, Amy, and the Goth Boy (whose name I confess I can't remember). Now, which of the three did the "Mine is Bigger" Crowd first turn to, to pound? I think all 3 witches wore lipstick (eh, Willow's might just have been gloss ), but 2 out of 3 weren't hated just for that. Actually, another example popped into my head (all these are JMO, of course): did anyone think that the Lunch Lady in Earshot was held up in contempt, *before* the rat poison, just for not fitting the proper definition of "female"?



Anyway, those are just my thoughts on this Day of Remembrance. May we ALL come to believe "As ye harm none, do (dress, body modify, etc.) as ye please."



GG Caught your avatar, Sphere: way kewl! (Nice look ) Out