where did you meet your girl??

[3bagsfull]

Goodness - where to begin?



I've met girlfriends in a number of ways, at the top of the list is school, glbt groups, and online.



My take on internet relationships has basically already been summed up - it can be pretty heart wrenching, it can be a total disaster, and it can also be wonderful. I spent three years with one woman I met online, two of those living together in the same space.



My current girlfriend....I don't see any sticky tales of frienship and betrayal so I guess I'll be the first.



I met a really cool woman online, at a MUD. We became friends and over the next year and a half we were pretty much best friends - I flew across the country several times to meet her even though I was on a shoe-string college budget. We'll call her K. She had a girlfriend whose company I enjoyed (we'll call her J) - but she was mostly the girlfriend of my best friend. K didn't have a job so I never really got to spend anytime with J, until she came home from a trip earlier than K.



Imagine my surprise when I fell totally in live with J in one week's time. Fast forward through all the messiness. *sigh* And next month we're spending our second anniversary in Sequoia National Park and getting "married," (for lack of a better term) next year at this time. K is even talking to me again, but that's a whole other thread



So that's my story. I'm certainly not advocating planning to steal your best friend's girlfriend, but the general point is that love can happen just about anywhere under just about any circumstances. In my experience the best of it happens when your main focus is something other than finding a girlfriend.

[Lola19]

I hear ya Sparrow! How does it feel to have a girlfriend?

Quote:

---

"Don't have a girlfriend..any ladies interested ? *waggles brows unobtrusivly*22..non-smoker. Kitten friendly"

---

*Lola becomes bold for the 1st time in her life*

Hey Wiccanslllusion,

*waggles brows back* 20, non-smoker, kitten friendly here!



Love and hugs Lola xxx



Whoops for posting twice! Im so embarresed now,

*lola looses all sence of boldness and hides away!*

Edited by: Lola19 at: 7/30/02 2:33:15 pm

[sparrow]

Hey lola, fortune favors the brave. Don't hide, cause I'm actually taking up all the spacing in the hiding corner haha. My shyness knows no boundries. **tries to waggle eyebrows but too shy and flys back to corner***

And, yet, I just can't seem to care


I'm not coming back

[ruby]

My story sounds a lot more high-drama than it really was.



I was a student a fundamentalist Christian university in the West. (OK, it was BYU.) I had been raised as a Mormon in New England, where the religion was so uncommon it pretty much flew under the radar, so the culture shock of being in Utah hit me HARD. I had always sort of known I was gay (and even had relationships with women), but being surrounded by a hyper-straight, dumbed-down version of femininity made it obvious. I couldn’t play those games anymore. As a brown-haired, athletic, smart girl in glasses, I practically had a “Dyke!” sign on me anyway. I wore dresses and sang hymns and tried to fit in, because along the way my parents had found out and cut me off financially, so I was basically stranded in the desert a couple thousand miles from home. I just wanted to graduate and move away on my own terms.



In that sort of environment, you had to be careful who to trust. Every student needed an “ecclesiastical endorsement” signed by a bishop to be able to register for classes. If he wouldn’t give you one, for any reason, you were screwed. So the last thing you wanted was for a well-meaning “friend” to tell your bishop you were “struggling with homosexuality.” You’d find yourself hauled in and essentially expelled if you weren’t careful. That happened to several people I knew. The sense of paranoia it created was stifling. (It all seems so ludicrous to me even as I write it. Was this truly my life?)



Anyway, a married classmate became one of my dearest friends. (People get married pretty young in Mormon culture—she was considered exceptional because she had “waited” until she was 21.) We were an unlikely pair: she was short, blond, gorgeous, outgoing, from southern California, and fit the BYU template perfectly. I was a total misfit (for the reasons above). But we made each other laugh, and we had a blast studying together. I never felt strange being myself around her, because she knew who I was and didn’t feel sexually or socially threatened by being around me. Hell, she was married! She was my very best friend, and I’d never endanger that by trying to make it anything more.



Then we both got into graduate school: mine in Chicago, hers in New York. Right before we left she told me that she loved me, and I didn’t know what to do with that. It seemed like nothing could be gained or lost by telling me then, she said. So we moved away to different cities.



About a year later we saw one another at a conference we were both attending. Some mutual friends were there, too, who sort of helped things along (like matching us up in the same bedroom—subtle!). The chemistry was unavoidable, and it just sort of took off. I couldn't believe anything could be that perfect. What made it strange and painful was that she then got divorce, from a truly nice guy, after four years of marriage. Most of her friends dropped her cold. One of them confronted her, saying incredulously, “What are you giving up your life for?! Self-actualization? True love?” And she said, “Well, yeah.”



(Tara’s “Are you happy now?!” smile in Family resonates so powerfully with me because of that.)



We left the Mormon church, obviously. And then we had a long-distance relationship until we could get far enough into our studies that one of us could move to be with the other. It’s been seven years now, and ten years since we met. Long story, happy ending!



One moral (among many): don't make huge life decisions to please someone else, because it will only get harder and more complicated later. Be as honest with yourself and others as you can.



Good luck at school!

Smashed. Wrecked. Gone.

[Lola19]

Sparrow, why dont we both be brave, lets get outta that corner!

As you said, Fortune favours the brave!



Love lola xxx

[sparrow]

But corners are good and safe and not really good with people and really, really shy and cause I usually lurk and then ...ok babbling much. Guess I haven't found a reason to leave my safe little corner. Did I mention wondering what it is like to have a girlfriend

And, yet, I just can't seem to care


I'm not coming back

[Lola19]

Yeah you did and your not alone friend.



*Lola thinks of a reason for Sparrow to leave the corner*



C'mon if i can be brave so can you! I am the shyest of the shy! unless you know me of course!



Love lola xx

[Shadow ALH]

Hi! I've been lurking here for a while now, but I never really had the courage to come out and register until I saw this thread today. Reading everyone's incredible stories made me want to post mine. Well here goes...



I met my girlfriend in college too. It was the beginning of the spring semester my sophomore year when my girl moved into the dorms where I was working security. She had just transferred to the school that semester and had moved in a few days before. Anyway, I went to work...the late shift, yuck...and she was there talking to the guy working before me. She introduced herself and when our eyes met, we both felt this amazing connection. I have never had such a great moment in my life, well except for maybe our first kiss.



She stayed around to talk to me for a couple of hours, but alas, I had a girlfriend at the time. It was a really bad relationship that I should have ended a month or two earlier, but I just hadn't yet. (yes I am a coward).



So I went home a dreamt of my new goddess for a few days thinking I had blown a huge opportunity because I hadn't broken up with that other girl. But a few days later I worked again, (the early shift this time) and right about when my shift was over she came in and we started talking again. We went out for coffee, just as friends, and then back to my place for some beer, we just couldn't stop talking. As a terribly shy girl, this was truly special for me, to be able to open up completely with someone right away.



It didn't take me long to break up with that other girl, but it was hard and very, very messy. But my goddess and I have been together for over a year and a half now and I worship every moment we spend together and I am so excited about our future.



I guess the only thing I can really say is that when I finally stopped looking for true love was when I found it. It taught me that I can't force myself to like someone more than I really do, and I can't change people into who I want them to be. I knew it was real with my gf immediately and I consider myself so lucky.



So yes college is a great place to meet girls. I also recommend sports teams (women's rugby anyone?)



~Shadow ALH

[WiccansIllusion]

*Lola becomes bold for the 1st time in her life*

Hey Wiccanslllusion,

*waggles brows back* 20, non-smoker, kitten friendly here!









hey Lola, come here often ? *grins *

Tara nodded in agreement "She has magic fingers." Then, as though the words had just echoed back to her and sounded not at all right, she perked up and glanced around at the others. "On the keyboard."

TheWisdom of War, Chris Golden

'My heart is cleverer then I and it knows what to do.'-MC Legends of the Kiss

[sparrow]

*poking her head aroung the corner*

well it looks ok and lola said she would be out here so ok,

*walks out into the light, out from the corner*

ok, carpe diem, what do I do now? *nervously shuffles feet*

I'ts kindof bright out here

And, yet, I just can't seem to care


I'm not coming back

[Lola19]

Hee hee that made me smile!

Yeah i come here alot! You?

*Witty Lola say something Witty!*

Ok how about a big grin for you



Love and hugs Lola xxx

[momentum]

I met her at a pizza place that my friends and I frequent because they have the best pizza and gelato in town. On that particular day, I was by myself and the place was really busy so I sat along the counter rather than at a table. A cute girl who I've seen around town before but never really talked to sat next to me, and we chatted a bit over pizza and soda. Before I left, I gave her a copy of my zine which had my e-mail address in it... She e-mailed me, we hung out some more. One night we decided to walk along the railroad tracks and flatten pennies. She held my hand and gave me my first kiss. I couldn't get many words out for the rest of the night, I was kind of in shock you know, until we were sitting in her car and told each other exactly how we felt. It was so great to learn that everything I felt was mutual. We kind of lapsed into silence again but then she said "So, you want to make out?" and of course I said okay.

-------
Elise
Reno Dakota there's not an iota of kindness in you

You know you enthrall me and yet you don't call me

It's making me blue

[pikachu1060]

Some of your stories are really beautiful, it amazes me to see how smooth things can go and i wish i had such a beautiful story to tell. Anyway, here's my (not so beautiful) story.



I've never had a problem with my being a lesbian. I came out more or less when tara and willow got together, and it was like having this message telling me that being gay was okay. For this, i must say that i'm grateful to joss and ME (even though that doesn't make up at all for what they did to tara); Anyway, besides having willow and tara making me feel that being gay was okay, i also had supportive friends, a loving mother who didn't freak out when i came out to her...



So, being gay: not a problem. The real problem was how to find a girfriend. There's a lot of gay/lesbian bar here in Belgium, but i'm not really the kinda girl who just hangs out in those places waiting for a girl to notice me. I've had lots of crush on hetero girls which is really frustrating cause it never leads anywhere. So, only option: internet. That's how i met my former (and only) girlfriend.



As soon as i laid my eyes on her, i knew i was in love. She was gorgeous and smart, and we got along immediately. But internet is a tricky thing. I learned later (too late), that she had a boyfriend, and that they both wanted some kind of threesome. As i was in love, i would have done anything, so the three of us began a relationship. I' don't consider myself as bi. Well, i'm totally gay, there's no doubt about that. Before i realized it, i dated boys (one i stayed with for 2 years and half), but as soon as i came out to myself, i knew i was only and totally gay. So, this was really a huge sacrifice i was doing for her (and the worst part is that she never even seemed to notice that). The guy was king enough not to touch me or anything, but the truth is that he was always present, even (or should i say especially) during the most intimate moments. But as i say, he wouldn't touch me.



I guess that if i did agree to be in this relationship, it was because i was hoping she would eventually realize that i was the one who cared about her, and that i was the one she loved. How stupid was i! Then, after two months, i realized that this was never going to happen and i stopped seeing them. It's been six months now, and i still regret bitterly having had this experiment. But i guess i have to move on and forget about it.



But now, when i meet a girl and she asks me if i've ever been with a girl before, i don't know what to say... If i say yes and then she asks me how it was, i have to be all avoidy on the subject, and if i say no, i feel bad about it. The thing i hate above all is lying, but it's like i have no choice, cause if i tell the truth, i'm afraid i'd be considered as a freak. I made a mistake, and i know it, but i don't like to be judged by it (and i hope you kittens won't judge me knowing this).



So, if i had to give an advice regarding internet, it would be "beware!".

[drlloyd11]

>From the sound of it, seems like we should set up a personals thread or something





There used to be one actually



ummm. Star trek club...

Love at first sight

[Ginner WTluv]

Me? On-line Well, i met my girl through Willow and Tara actually I was looking to talk to someone who felt the same way about Willow and Tara, and presto. There she was. Me and Leah have been together a year last June 13th. Yup, little Ginner found love

In my opinion, meeting people on-line is definatly the way to go Leah's my best friend. I love her and can't imagine being with someone else. She's helped me though everying. My depression (ugh), my parent's none stop arguing.... no matter what i'm going through, she's always there for me.

Willow and Tara bring people together. I've always said it and i'll continue saying it. It's thanks to them i'm so happy They brought me and my girl together. She's my Tara (seeing as how i'm more like Willow myself ).



~ Jen



Editing to add: Unfortunately, the over seas thing is a problem here too and i haven't met her "for real" yet. But, if it's the last thing i do, I'm going over to Canada sometime this month to see her! Colour me nervous

Edited by: Ginner WTluv at: 7/30/02 7:03:51 pm

[friskylez]

Im there with the personals thread...Like i said whats a g/f, but then im "butch" oh and thats right, misunderstood we are Yikes im sounding like Yoda

"Middle age is when you have two choices and you choose the one that gets you home early"

[Lusciousbr]

It took me some time to read all the when-I-meet-my-gf-remembrances and they are very moving. And, as all the lurkes are stopping by to write their own story, I decided to to the same.



I've known my gf for a while before we started dating. Actually, I became closer to her when she broke up with her boyfriend. For some reason (that I couldn't figure out at that time) she started sending me e-mails writing about how she didn't want to get back with him and stuff like that. So, despite meeting each others frequently at college, we got closer through the web. To sum up: February came and that was Carnival time here in Brazil, time when people usually lose (purposely) control of themselves. And then I got drunk, she got drunk and then she challenged me to kiss her. Well, I couldn't reject that as I was already in love. So we did kiss but she instantly got a psychological hangover...Two days after that, still Carnival, she said she wanted to be with me, it was not only about drunken kisses and, well, let's just say this was 3 and a half years ago...we're now closer than ever.

[areslei]

Indigo Girls chatroom about 41/2 years ago. She flew cross country to see a few concerts w/ me, we fell for each other, and the rest is the History of Us. (i promise i won't break out into song, now). It's nice to see so many others found their girls online. I used to feel weird telling people where I met my girl..they looked at me like I was nuts...though I am, but y'know....really nuts! But I know now that it's all good, and meeting your love online doesn't make a relationship any less beautiful, and it is just the same as meeting them anywhere else first, only kind of not. I mean, you do have to talk, thus the purpose of the chatrooms. You don't just see someone and gawk...although, the gawking does come eventually when you go for the online approach . ::sigh::

you two are the two who are the two...
Baby, I said it's all in our hands, got to learn to respect what we don't understand...'Fugitive' Indigo Girls

[tarawillow66]

ok i have the coolest story of how we got together. the first time i ever saw her wasin 7th grade,but after that year i didn't see her again till 9th. and during the beging of that year i started having these dreams about me and her. it was always the same one.every night. me and her were under a huge willow tree beside of a small pond in a huge vally. it was always night and wiht a full moon that was really close to us.a ton of stars and every thing was perfect.she would give me a rose a say i love you. well at the time i wasn't gay so it was kinda scaring me,but it wasn't at the same time. it turns out she was having the same dream.and after a few weeks of talking and stuff like that, we got together. and we've been tgether for 8 monthes.

sorry that was so long. really i gave you the really short vesion.feel lucky.lol





much love

megan



"little green aleums are coming out of your ears"

[Indygo]

It's funny. I met my girlfriend when I was so cut up about having been dumped by someone else that I was in that horrible "I'll never date anyone ever again, it's not worth it!" phase. I really, really loved that girl I was with, she fit pretty much everything that I had ever wanted in a girlfriend (except the most important thing - wanting to be with me too!)



I went to a party that I got dragged along to at the last minute. I really didn't want to go because I know that when I'm depressed I usually drink too much and when I drink too much I do stupid things... Anyway, at the party I was re-introduced to someone I'd met years before through Xena fandom here in Sydney. I knew her through friends of friends, but we hadn't really exchanged anything besides quick hellos and goodbyes.



We started talking, and I was just fascinated by her, despite the fact that it was apparent pretty quickly that we were two very different people, not the least because she's very religious and I'm not at all. But we talked so much that night that I forgot not only that I was grieving over someone else but I also forgot to drink. Suddenly we found ourselves at a party surrounded by drunk people and neither of us had touched any at all, we'd been too busy just talking!



I got really scared by the connection we obviously had because of the whole rebound thing, I was so afaid I would do something to hurt her because I was rebounding pretty hard. She gave me her number at the party but I didn't call. I just couldn't. I was just convinced that I was going to hurt her, or get hurt, and that the whole thing would end up miserably.



Then a few weeks later there was this big fair for our Mardi Gras celebrations. I was there with some friends who also knew this girl, and so we met up completely by chance. Things were a bit awkward for a few seconds and then she started to tease me about my obvious inability to use a telephone, suggested I might borrow the user manual for her cellphone because it was the same as mine, made a big deal of checking my cell to see if it still worked... ALL big hints that she was still interested, but that she kind of understood how hard it was for me. I knew it had to be me that made the first move, because she knew how badly I'd been hurt, she didn't want to push.



So she left, and I waited until she got as far as the carpark and then called her and asked her to a movie.



It's been five months now, and everything is great. She isn't that girl that was in my dreams and that I always hoped I'd meet. She's nothing like her, but still, she's perfect the way she is.



Indygo

[Lola19]

Quote:

---

"*poking her head aroung the corner*

well it looks ok and lola said she would be out here so ok,

*walks out into the light, out from the corner*

ok, carpe diem, what do I do now? *nervously shuffles feet*

I'ts kindof bright out here"

---

Well done Sparrow! Proud of ya kid!

A pat on both our backs for being brave!

May i say Woo and add a good Hoo along with it!



Love and hugs Lola xxx

[Shinnen]

To all the kittens who are happily coupled... my best wishes to all. Going back to the original topic of this thread... I have no story to tell.



to all the single kittens who posted here... *long pause*



I soooo understand what you all mean with the looking for a gf thing. I'm single as well and rarely ever go out or talk much even online till recently when I met some really cool kittens like TwilightJoy, JD, Xita and many more. Even so, I'm very shy to chat even online... so offline, rl chatting has been much of a problem. But with all the hetero and unknown sexuality girls and women that I had crushes on, we got on extremely well... but the problems were... as mentioned above. Therefore... all these is leaving my single. heh heh. One thing that I probably regreted most in relationship stuff is not joining the gay and lesbian club of my university when i was in Australia.



But I believe that there's good in meeting someone online, like the kitten board members are all nice, probably rarely will we get someone who's not really who he/she says he/she is.

CheerZ

Shinnen

**************


When I Am Standing On My Head, The Sky Is So Deep And The Sea Is So High.
Inner Beauty Is The Easiest To See In The World When You Are Looking

[sparrow]

Thanks lola for the woo and hoo and the pat. It's kindof cool out in the light so I think I will stay for a while. Maybe a miaculous love will happen

And, yet, I just can't seem to care


I'm not coming back

[Rane018]

LostInEcstasy,



if you're going off to college this year definately get involved with the campus LGBT group/office. it's a great place to meet people, have fun and maybe find a girlfriend. it may not be a girl in the group but it could be a friend's friend. that's how it happened to me (all of the girls i've dated have ended up being friend of a friend).



i'm really, really shy but i met a couple of guys that lived in my dorm during the LGBT office orientation and i simply went everywhere with them until i actually got a job at the office and helped organize events, clubs, games, etc. i'm more of a doer than a participator and it was easier to meet people when you are in charge of things than just a guest.



but then again i went to NYU and there were tons of places other than the campus to meet gay people. Hopefully your city will have clubs, coffeehouse, even areas that are LGBT friendly and you can meet people there. but dont go out just to meet someone, go out there and have fun. everything will fall into place when it's ready to. good luck and be good.

"She has magic fingers." Then, as though the words had just echoed back to her and sounded not at all right, she perked up and glanced around at the others. "On the keyboard." Tara, The Wisdom Of War...

[thehighpriestess]

I met the most wonderful person in the world right here!

WILLOW: Where would you go? If you felt lost
and alone? Where would you go?

TARA: To you.

Edited by: thehighpriestess at: 2/13/03 3:37:05 pm

[RaiStarr]

I've really enjoyed reading this thread. I'm a really shy and a total lurker too but I just wanted to jump in here with everyone else. I'm newly single(maybe I should build up my courage and go post in the singles thread...) but the relationship ended amicably. We met online in a chat room and after talking for a while ended up living together for three years. Were they the best years of my life? No. Do I regret them at all? No. Do I still believe that Ms. Right is out there looking for me? Oh yes!



Rai

[hellmouthhottie20]

oooooohhhh, i love this thread



Well my "girl" (i still cant belive shes mine) has already posted, but i have some things to add.



We met, thanks to the kitten board and Amber!!! i was asking about uk conventions, and in to my emails box, and my life popped the most wonderfull girl ever.



We E mailed each other for a while, i have never checked my mail so often, then we started IMing each other and i fell for her almost instantly

I have always been very sarcastic,iam afraid to say about love and never belived it would happen to me, but it has.

She made the first admission and i should now apologise for being REALLY evil and replying one word at a time to tell her that i felt the same way.

Since then we have spoken on the phone and shes all i think about all day

We have yet to meet, but i know we will, some things are ment to be

I want to tell her, Thank you for accepting me, and all my "problems"

Philippa I LOVE YOU

I hope that you can all be as lucky as me



Caz

Kelly-"They make you like,feed a tree before you feed yourself

Ozzy - how the F**K do you feed a tree? What do you do, put a ham sandwich on it! -Kelly Osbourne to Ozzy about hippy camp

[Pegalopolis]

Amymlc's Theory of Kissing...in 25 words or less.



Quote: "Before her, kissing was just kinda gross to me...I mean think about..you are like swallowing someone elses spit and plaque and stuff, "





That's freaking classic shit...never will I look at another toothpaste ad and not think of you, Amy.



Peg

[Shadow Willow]

Im sure Ive said this on here b4, but another time might not hurt.

I met my girlie looking up willow n tara stuff on the net, i came accross her sight. From reading it i found out we had loads in common. We became real good friends n e-mailed each other all the time (2 or 3 times a day at 1 point) and we would stay up talking on-line til 6 in the mornin. We arainged to meet in a neutral city(just as friends, cos neither of us expected the other wanted anything more) and i went to stay at hers for a few days .(as soon as i saw her down i went, head over heals.) Things were kinda funny, i just wanted to kiss her all the time. But I never said anything and neither did she. I went home. Then that weekend I went out got very drunk and sent her an e-mail telling her how i felt and that if me telling her ment the end of our friendship i didnt mind cos i couldnt deal anymore.

She called me the next day and told me she was in love with me and had been for a while.

We became 'Offical' on 12 of september and we've never looked back.

We're off to Uni's in the same city this year thank the goddess cos i dont know what i'd do with out her.



I love her more than life its self.



Im just lucky to have her



Shadow Willow

[Amymlc]

hehehe I can't believe no one shares the same theory about kissing as me LOL My gf has broke me a little on that one though. I am all for the smooches with her. That should be some sort of toothpaste campaign or something...you know...be germ and plaque free before you're kissing me....or something. hehe



On a second note....some of these stories are so cute they should be movies or something. It is interesting how many of you guys met online. I wish I had a really cool romantic story to tell...mine's just kinda average, but in the end I got my girl, so that's all that matters

They were right, I'm a homo--But I'm a Cheerleader