When did you know

[Imagine]

Welcome, Imagine!

Thank you for posting your story, I'm really glad it helped to write it. A lot of us have felt like the odd one out at some point (I know I have), and I hope that you hang around the Board long enough to feel less alone. I have met some wonderful people, some of whom aren't "tomboys" either!

Have a surf around, join in the chat and games, and I hope we carry on giving you the confidence to be yourself!

Thank you very much! It felt really good writing it down, and here you can really understand what it's like.
I have actually looked around here for some time now, but I have only read others stories, it's nice reading about others that are/ was in the same positions.
I hope I get the confidence to tell them soon, but I guess because I live in a small town everyone will think i'm strange and talk about me, so I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. But I really hope I can see behind that also and don't care about it.

[Auriam]

When i did know.
I think it was natural, first didn't like boys like my friends do. Then i was looking girls a way than i wouldn't.
I think i was really real for my when i was watching a movie with some friends and one of them told me, look this man (tom cruise on the screen) he is really that i need : gook looking, not very tall and not too much mucles.
And while she was talking all i can thinking about the actress, cause i was thinking the same things but about the actress.
I was really chocked, and really want to cry, i was soo lost.

[NewRuthRising]

I always kinda knew, but it only really occured to me that liking girls was different when i was about 12. It was kinda a dawning awareness that I wasn't the same as other people, but looking back on my childhood, I was always a dyke tyke.

[Auriam]

It was kinda a dawning awareness that I wasn't the same as other people, but looking back on my childhood, I was always a dyke tyke.

yep exactly when you finaly know it's like you remember all littles things whose tell you.
God i'm a lesbian all my life !

[badkitty]

The moment I knew is so clearly etched in my memory. I was a senior in college, sharing an apartment with my three closest friends. I'd been having very clingy and confusing feelings about my best friend. I'd get really jealous when she'd go out with a boy. Demand she spend more time with me, stuff like that. But it never occurred to me that I was gay, and had those kinds of feelings for her, you know, romantic and physical feelings. Then one night, we were watching tv. I was sitting in the recliner across the room, and she walked over the vcr to switch a tape or something. She bent over, and I remember thinking "jeezus she has an incredible ass" or something like that. And the minute the thought entered my mind, the next thought quickly trampled over that one was "oh my god, I'm GAY!"

And thus began a very difficult couple of years.

-bk

[Alicepire]

I was seven. I kept on wanting to kiss my friends. I asked mum what it meant, she said it was just a phase. But the next day I went to school and proclaimed "When I grow up, I wanna be a lesbian".. not such a good thing to do in a small town.. But hey, looking back it was sorta funny.. after I learnt to dodge the rocks..

[writerfreak]

When did I know, wow, takes me back a long time. Odd that this should come up today, considering I was just talking about Addie only moments ago. I was 6 years old. And I knew. Some people can say it isn't possible at that age but it is. I've been there. I laid eyes on her and that was it. I knew. She was my best friend, my girlfriend, the love of my life. She died only 6 years later, at the tender age of 11 (she was a year younger) of leukemia. I still miss her every second of the day.

writerfreak

[Willowtree252]

I was in Kindergarden and there was pretty little girl that wanted to become close friends with the teacher couldent keep us apart. when I finally came out years later my friends said duh

[dlline]

When I was 4, my folks took me to my first movie, The Sound of Music. I still have a crush on Julie Andrews today, 42 years later.

Of course, I didn't figure out what it meant until much later. But I'll never forget that trip to the theater.

[summer fairy]

I guess I was always a lesbian. I mean there was things like when I was a little kid, I'd get on with boys better as they were into all the sports I was into and I acted like a boy. I would like always dress in jeans or shorts, play football, play fights with the boys. I never liked it when the boys tried to kiss me in the playground, you know that game you play when your little, I'd run those little legs of mine as fast as they'd take me when I boy tried it on but I'd only half heartedly 'run' when a girl tried. Though I'd say it really dawned on me when I got into secondary school, when I was about 13, I didn't feel the same way about boys like the other girls were and I had little crushes on my school friends. Also I think most people knew coz there was always someone who would call me a dyke or lesso.

[mangled_monkey]

I guess the first I consciously knew I was when I was 11, though there were definetely signs before that.

At that time, I thought I was bi, simply because I had a few crushes on some of my male classmates, none of whom had hit puberty yet, and each of them had longish hair. One of them, named Danny, when my mom met him, she asked him if it was short for Dannielle and he was like "I'm a boy..."

But when I was really young, around 3 and 4, I would stick things in the front of my underwear and pretend I was a boy. I also used to pretend to be a knight and run around saving an imaginary princess, along with many other games.

My main source of confusion was that I thought for a long time that lesbians weren't supposed to want kids, and I always have.

I guess pretending to be a boy for years and years, and feeling far more at home being a boy than I did being a girl is really the best sign I could've had.

I came out as lesbian when I was 14 or 15, I dont remember it by age, I remember it by what doctors I was seeing at the time, I have an odd sense of memory.

Then, I came out as Genderqueer, to myself and to my girlfriend at the time, when I was 16. I suppose I've always been in that odd space between trans and lesbian... when I was in 4th grade, we had to choose a famous Marylander to dress up as and pretend to be for a wax museam project, and I chose Edgar Allen Poe. (I remember bouncing in my seat with my hand up when the teacher put the list on the overhead, I was SURE that someone else would want to be him, even though no one else knew who he was.) I INSISTED that I have real men's clothing for it, and men's shoes, but my mom wouldn't let me wear men's underwear. That was the first time I dressed in men's clothing, and I remember that I was more comfortable in it than I could ever remember being.

Wow, a bit of a rant...