New Fic Series - Ep 1 Online

[Pezzky]

A Buffy fanfic series set after Season 5. Not Willow and Tara specific but will feature them heavily. Episodes in script format. Next episode in a week's time. Um.. Hope you enjoy it.

Of course, I would forget to put the address in!

Anyway, the address is http://www.geocities.com/pezzky/index.html

[This message has been edited by WillTara (edited July 18, 2001).]

[Kalita]

Wow, great stuff! Despite the incongruities, you've got a great story going; plus, you've nailed the characters almost perfectly. I would like to see more.

Just a suggestion... other than the Buffy-death bit (which is working out fine), those other things that are 'off' aren't too hard to fix, if you want to do minor revisions. I don't know if you want to be spoiled for 'em (I won't reveal any big plot points, just details), so I'll give you some free space...

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I think it would be Tara moving to Willow's room. They actually had her stuff packed at one point, and well, Tara's room is now a bit more airy than is comfortable...

Dawn shouldn't, by this point, be puzzled about them sleeping in the same bed - she did spend the night at one point, and there was just the one sleeping bag (for Dawn).

I don't think they'd want to consider teaching Dawn spells - the last time this came up, it didn't go well.

That's about it. I look forward to more, whatever direction you take.

Kal

[Ed Wood]

Where's Spike?

Very good story, I like how it started, I especialy liked the way homophobia was adressed, it would be good to see something similliar happen on the show. Also loved Tara's speech: "Not everyone will get it, you know, what we have. They don't want to see it, even if it's something so simple as love, as affection, as intimacy. And they can be mean and hurtful. We just have to remember that the pain won't last because we know we will, always and forever."

That was beautiful. And also: "I don't know. It can be kinda exciting, you know, like when they show a whole bunch of gazelles and there's a cheetah chasing them, and you pick a gazelle and imagine it's you and you see if you get caught and eaten."

You don't know how fun it is till you try it.

[AngelusUK]

Very good story Pezzy. Nicely written and well thought out. Very much looking forward to your next epsiode.

Edited to Add *I agree that Dawn would know they are lovers* Please continue with this it is really good work.

Well done on a great fic.

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Amber Fan
Willow "Thats fine I don't need to be snuggled"
Tara "Vixen"

[This message has been edited by AngelusUK (edited July 18, 2001).]

[Warduke]

Nice fic Pezzy but I do agree with Kalita on her points, Dawn would know for sure that W/T are lovers, looking forward to the next chapter.

[CaptMurdock]

While I agree with most of Kalita's critiques, I must say that the dialogue and story flow are excellent. I, too, look forward to more.

Thank you for sharing that with us.

[tommo]

I really enjoyed this. I thought the characterisations were very convincing and the storyline was enough to keep me interested and reading on from act to act.

However, the thing that I thoroughly enjoyed was the way you handled the Willow and Tara relationship; it was so like them, especially with the little scenes of doubt from Tara. Lovely.

I don't think you need to worry so much about which room they're moving to at this point. Although Kalita is right; Tara's room is kind of um, al fresco right now.

Overall though, I'm intrigued to know where this will go.

Ooh, and YES! Loved the scene where Willow gives Tara her housewarming present. Oh yeah!

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"She looked across at Willow, whose face was filled with light. She had never felt so calm and happy, and strong..." ~ Unseen: Door To Alternity

[Wonko]

If my opinion matters to anyone out there (not too likely but, well...) then I am TELLING you to read this right now. This isn't a story; it's a Buffy episode.

Seriously, Pezzky, I could see this in my head as I read. I sometimes can't do that with the actual scripts. If they filmed this and showed it in October I'd be happy. I can't think of a higher compliment - I'm starting to think you're a Buffy writer in disguise

I can't wait for episode two. Great teaser, btw

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Words from Wonko
The MKF Appreciation Society - All Miss Kitty all the Time!

[tommo]

I agree, Wonko. I too could see it perfectly. I think that's one of the things I liked the most about it.

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"She looked across at Willow, whose face was filled with light. She had never felt so calm and happy, and strong..." ~ Unseen: Door To Alternity

[Pezzky]

Thanks everyone, seriously!
You don't know how much I was worrying over what people was going to think about my little effort (Then of course, there could be hundreds of people out there who hate it and are just being nice and staying quiet).

Re the incongruities (in my defence, I pretty much finished writing this episode at the time of 'the Body'). Right now in Australia, we've just finished watching 'Spiral'.

re Tara's room - too late to change it I think. Let's just all assume they de-Glorified it in half a year.

re Dawn knowing that Willow and Tara are lovers - Yes, I considered removing that little bit of dialogue after seeing 'Forever' but in the end, I didn't think it was a major oops. Anyway, its out now and over with.

Thanks again for the encouragement. My brain was completely fried trying to keep track of the characters and the plot arcs for the series, so this was very much appreciated.

PS - re the cheetah and the gazelles thing, that's pretty much me every time I see something like that on TV.

[minion]

Wow, I loved it, very true to the characters, I liked that Tara was insecure about Willow moving in for Willow's sake rather than her own, very cool!

Can't wait for the next episode!

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I am in thunderous agreement, oh glittering, glistening Glorificus! : Jinx in Tough Love