Oh no! Carnivals are clearly dangerous. *cue "Jaws" music* Da da, da da, da da....
by Pixie » Wed Mar 20, 2002 11:35 am
Oh no! Carnivals are clearly dangerous. *cue "Jaws" music* Da da, da da, da da....
by Sassette » Wed Mar 20, 2002 11:58 am
And thank you - it's great to be back ... I missed this story *GGG*
Now, I know your troll is newly-scritched, but I'd love to see a late morning, and afternoon, AND a late afternoon update. That's not too much to ask, right?
And, uhhh ... I seem to have a bit of an update here ... I could put it up as soon as I got home. I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
-Sass
by wiccachica » Wed Mar 20, 2002 2:10 pm
so without further ado...
I'm showing you mine.... (wink)
Chapter One Hundred and Nine: Le Rouge l'enfant
" You have to be kidding me." Buffy says as we make our way down the thoroughfare. She’s already handed me two stuffed spuds Mackenzie dogs circa 1983 from a blindingly dangerous round of balloon popping via lethally fast darts….
Even as we were walking away from the booth…I saw the burly carnie trying in vain to dislodge the darts from their embedded home in the wood behind the balloons.
My big sister…the show off…
Right now I follow her gaze to a ring toss.
Standing side by side…tossing rings onto milk bottles… is the strangest pairing since Mutt and Jeff.
Spike and Danger.
Danger is concentrating on a bottle…his tongue poking out…possibly to balance the universe in his favor… or to assist in concentration…
He tosses the ring…. It overshoots the entire bed of bottles to strike a large tattooed man on the back of his bald head.
Danger turns quickly away to avoid being placed with the blame… He immediately spots us, and a huge grin brightens his face.
" Oh…Hey! Look Spike…Look who it is!" The young vamp chortles and looks like he wants to hug us all individually…but Spike gives him a surly glare.
" What’d I tell you….keep it cool…don’t let them know you like them…make them think you’re just sizing them up for dinner…"
"Oh…yeah…okay…." Danger strikes a comically threatening pose and crosses his arms.
" Are you letting the Peroxide Peril teach you the ropes, Danger?" Xander asks sadly.
" He says I need to learn how to be…be a Big Bad….." Danger says…touching his precariously gelled hair to make sure it’s in place…though I think a nuclear explosion couldn’t move that much hair product…..
" Danger…do you really want to be a Big Bad, Sweetie? That involves a lot of eating nice people and snarling…which I don’t think you have a total grasp on…and also the need for a lifetime supply of gunk for your hair…." Buffy says to him like a preschool teacher to a naughty child.
Danger shifts from one foot to the other…sweeping his gaze from Spike to us…weighing his options… He finally lets out his breath in an explosive sigh…
" Honestly….I don’t think I’m cracked up to be a Big Bad..It really takes too much…time… wondering if you look mean enough to go out on the town….with the whole ‘mirror-reflection thing’…THAT’S a heck of a challenge…you know…?"
" Gah!" Spike says and lights a cigarette…but I notice the Big Bad Antagonist hasn’t opted to leave our company yet.
" Welcome to the club of goodness, Danger." I say, handing him a big stuffed dog.
It’s not a toaster…but it’s a start…
Danger beams at me…and coddles the stiff furry thing like it’s alive… and not an icon from the eighties that promoted alcohol… and the shameless exploitation of big breasted girls in skimpy clothes….
And besides…what would a vampire do with a toaster…?
He looks over the top of his new friend at us.
" So what do we do first?" He asks.
" I’m taking Tara on the Ferris wheel…so without further ado…I bid you adieu…." Willow says quickly. She takes her girlfriend’s hand and leads her towards the giant spinning disk…
" Does anybody else get a really weird "vibe" from this place….like..it’s all happy and fun on the outside…but creepy on the inside….?" Xander asks…glancing around as though something is going to leap on his back at any moment.
" Like a demonic chocolate covered caramel?" Buffy questions.
" Like a whole box of them…" Xander says.
" Yum…" Anya says offhandedly.
" I don’t know…" Danger says…looking after Tara and Willow with faint concern…his goofy expression melting away into something thoughtful. " I’m getting a really big "fear" vibe from this place….but mostly it’s coming from The Tara…." He looks at me…his dark eyes serious…. " And anything that frightens The Tara…should make us VERY nervous…"
We all stare at him for a moment…the seconds seem to elongate…stretch into an eternity…the sounds of the fair drain away…
And then we all burst into raucous laughter.
" Oh…man…you had me going…!" Xander says…slapping the shorter vamp’s back…
Danger stands with a bewildered smile on his face…not getting the joke….
" I did? I had you going?" He says, clueless…
I’m laughing lightheartedly along with them…but something in me pulls my gaze off to where Willow is handing the Ferris Wheel conductor a slough of tickets and pulling the blonde into the gated area…..
Something about what Danger said is ringing true to you…isn’t it, Dawn….?
TBC….
------------------
"You're *NOT* the source of me." - Buffy
" I mock you with my monkey pants!" -Oz
" Tremble!" Gachnar (Fear Itself)
by jomarch » Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:41 pm
Have strapped myself in harness as I guess your troll just bought us all tickets to the biggest, baddest ride in the carnival, hasn't he?.
[This message has been edited by jomarch (edited March 20, 2002).]
by ForeverPiper » Wed Mar 20, 2002 6:20 pm
by Owl » Wed Mar 20, 2002 7:12 pm
anybody up for cliffhanger tag?
right! Danger! Oh, how I love Danger! Danger taking lessons in vampirism from Spike. That's really something.
and, what could possibly go wrong at a carnival? A lovely box of demony chocolates. AAArgh! The life of a woncubine is cruel at times, what with the pain and suffering of waiting.... *sigh*
...I'm going to go bake you an offering of scones to pass the time....
by Pixie » Wed Mar 20, 2002 8:11 pm
*"Jaws" music continues* da da, da da, da da da da dadadadadada.
quote:
Originally posted by Owl:
*fiddles about nervously, clearly restless in the harness*anybody up for cliffhanger tag?
*Pixie pokes Owl in the ribs* You're it!
quote:by HerGirl » Wed Mar 20, 2002 10:52 pm
An evil carnival? Almost better than aerodynamic ho-hos which had me rolling. I can't wait to hear what has Tara frightened.
HerGirl
------------------
Tara: Every time I- (takes a deep breath) even when I'm at my worst ... you always make me feel special. How do you do that?
Willow: Magic.
Family; Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 5
"Magic Like Heat Across My Skin" - L. K. Hamilton
by Owl » Thu Mar 21, 2002 12:22 am
Hijinks? There are no hijinks here! Woncubines do not engage in hijinks! And there are also no antics! No romps, pranks, games, or sprees or... or anything!!! Nothing of the sort! And certainly no wierdness! This is a perfectly respectable thread, thank you very much! *harumph*
by bulldog_tidnab » Thu Mar 21, 2002 12:27 am
------------------
i'm gonna be a fireman when the floods roll back...
by Pixie » Thu Mar 21, 2002 12:40 am
quote:
Originally posted by Owl:
OUCH!
Pixie! That hurt! I am so gonna get you for that!
*swings after pixie with a mad glint in her eye* bwa hahaha ha hahahaha!
When I DO get you, I'm not going to make you "it"! I am going to tickle you! Yesss, a good tickling will teach you a thing or two! grrr!
Ich erhalte dir mein shayneh! (I'll get you my pretty!)
*Pixie attempts to swing away in her harness. A mad swoopy dash ensues, but she is finally caught* Hee hee!! *giggle, chortle, gasp* hahaha. Hands! Hands in...new...places...Owl...mmf
quote:
Hijinks? There are no hijinks here! Woncubines do not engage in hijinks! And there are also no antics! No romps, pranks, games, or sprees or... or anything!!! Nothing of the sort! And certainly no wierdness! This is a perfectly respectable thread, thank you very much! *harumph*
I think this is a case of "protesting too much".... You know if there were no hijinks, antics, romps, etc., you would be asleep now and not still up at your computer! Hey! *light bulb goes on over Pixie's head* Me too!
by mollyig » Thu Mar 21, 2002 1:56 am
I love this fic, it gives me my giggle fix!
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"I could paint you in the dark cause I've studied you with hunger as a work of art"
Collecting You - Indigo Girls
by canadian kitty » Thu Mar 21, 2002 5:46 am
Pixie, sweety, the troll looks kind of busy right now. Why don't you swing on over here for some harem "benefits".
[This message has been edited by canadian kitty (edited March 21, 2002).]
by wiccachica » Thu Mar 21, 2002 8:16 am
*watching the woncubines swinging like a kitten watching an intriguing piece of string*
jomarch …. Have you ever thought of a career in radio announcement???…or maybe movie trailers??? I could practically hear your post in my head! LOL!
Forever piper I actually stole the ESSENCE of Danger from a werewolf novel of mine…the silly…but sweet rebel without a clue…..I have a soft spot in my ol heart for the Dangermeister….And just hearing you all say you love Danger makes me not only warm and fuzzy inside…but also snicker a little….come on…you LOVE Danger….get it…say it to a few of your friends and see what reaction you get….
Pixie and Owl! Am I going to have to stop this car and give you two a time out??? (suddenly shudders at the sooooMY MOMNESS of that moment and resumes driving…)
Hergirl Golly…the troll always mourns the near miss scritches…He’s pouting right now…but I’ll try to explain the whole "one person for everyone" theory to him again…he doesn’t seem to get it….
Bulldog_tidnab Getting scritched is a big decision for a someone…especially if they are large with the liking grrls….and are considering marrying a male troll…(even though he does have a strictly feminine side…like…a Glorificus of his very own) Scritch wisely…but I won’t blame you for scritching such a handsome young troll with lots of security and a very nice Trolls Royce in the garage…..
Mollyig You know….I liked that vamp from Bargaining….If Danger were a Hanson fan…he’d be that guy! Good Call! ( Also I think Danger is more of a Tom Jones fan…)
CK Mrs. Trolloskovic…The troll deems you head of the extrascritchacular activities for all of the troll’s scritchees….
Meanwhile…the troll has let me write an episode…after such a LOOOOOONG stint of sidelining ...I'm happy to do it…..
Chapter One Hundred and Ten: Anywhere in the World
" Penny for your thoughts…." I say to the blonde woman staring out over the carnival from her new vantagepoint. Tara seems only slightly less pensive from this height…as though this distance from the ground makes so much of the difference… and has given her a mild sense of detached security.
" Just a penny?" She says...as I break into her thoughts…and she leans back beside me and entwines her fingers in mine.
" Has the price gone up? Did I make a major faux pas by offering such meager monetary compensation for your thoughts…which are priceless by the way…" I say… smiling…and very glad to see her smile back at me.
For a moment, whatever has been preoccupying her thoughts is gone, and she nestles closer to me and leans her head on my shoulder…
Is it the altitude, or the fact that the woman you love is so close right now, Willow…your head is spinning…and you’re giddy as all heck…whoo…and did the Earth’s temperature just go up like twenty degrees…?
She sighs out loud and I give her hand another squeeze…
" …Deep…meaningful smoochie for your thoughts…" I say wryly, and she lifts her head to look at me.
" Gosh…then I better make something up quick…"
I lean in then, and kiss her….chastely enough to pique her interest…And quick enough so that the whole world doesn’t catch us in the act as our gondola sweeps downward in its rotation.
I can just imagine some little round freckled kid pointing at us…little pudgy face sticky with blue cotton candy…and eyes as big as pies… with a shout of ‘mommy look, those two girls are making out like horndogs on the Ferris wheel!’
Yes…that would be lovely…
When I lean back, I see my job is done…her cheeks are rosy, and her eyes glassy.
" I haven’t even told you my thoughts yet…" She says…. A little shell-shocked
" I’m hoping to give you some better thoughts to work with…." I say..leaning in to kiss her teasingly again as our chariot climbs back into the sky…and slows to a stop at the very top…
She leans back and smiles at me…not sure where I’m taking this…
" Okaaay…..I am now currently having MUCH better thoughts…AND you now have my complete and undivided attention…" She says.
" Good." I say, and scooch a little closer…facing her as well as I can in the smallish booth…. She puts her hands instinctively on my waist…gliding them down to my hips and back up…sending familiar tingles up my spine.
I stare into her eyes, wondrously…
How in the world did you get this lucky, Rosenberg?
" Earth-shattering smoochie for YOUR thoughts…" She says to me…taking her turn at the wryness wheel…
The air…the gondola…the Carnival below…everything has gone… there is only she and I…and this feeling …this silent understanding between us…. It’s so beautiful…and strange…that I have to go and wonk it all up with words…
" I was just thinking how smart I am…" I say with a lopsided grin…
This startles her a little, and she pulls slightly back to see if I’m kidding.
" Really? You want to tell me why?"
" Because the reason I can only afford a penny for your thoughts right now is because I bribed the conductor to strand us up here and take his fifteen minute break…"
Her expression wavers between disbelief and awe….
Could Willow Rosenberg be so forward? Oh…fricken-yeah she can….
" What in the world are we going to do trapped up here for fifteen minutes, Will….?" She says…
…Just before the Big Anvil of Life lands right on her head…
*bing*
A slow smile creeps over her features… a tinge flushes her cheeks again at the very thought of what I’m proposing….
" I know fifteen minutes isn’t a whole lot of time to try to change your whole outlook on scary carnivals and their rides…but by gum….I AM going to TRY my best…" I say earnestly…kissing her again with much less reserve…and taking great pains to draw a patent ‘willow-kissage’ crinkle in her smooth brow….
Carnival ride…good golly, Willow…could you pun any more badly than that…?
TBC…
------------------
"You're *NOT* the source of me." - Buffy
" I mock you with my monkey pants!" -Oz
" Tremble!" Gachnar (Fear Itself)
[This message has been edited by wiccachica (edited March 21, 2002).]
by Pixie » Thu Mar 21, 2002 9:52 am
quote:
Between flashing Sasses and dangling woncubines...it's really a wonder how the troll gets any work done around here....
*watching the woncubines swinging like a kitten watching an intriguing piece of string*
In the spirit of the Smitten Squad, we're just amusing ourselves between updates. Sorry, we didn't mean to distract you...and "dangling woncubines"? Isn't that some kind of horrible grammatical error? Or medical condition? (Look ma, my woncubine is dangling!) And wiccachica, mazal tov on your "momness".
I'm still with the "poor Tara". And "what is she so afraid of?" And "Jaws" music. But all of that has been somewhat muffled by "God, Willow is SO cute!"
by Owl » Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:52 am
In other news: The very heighths of carnival fun, here! Sassy, sassy Willow! my goodness.... What are you going to do to them? I can just feel it coming....
reader: awww... cute naughty Willow bribed the carney...
wiccachica + troll: THWACK! (sound of something incredibly awful happening)
reader: (traumatized) Carnival.... scary... no ferris-wheel fun... scary....
it's afternoon (where i am)...... Bring it on! We can take it!
[This message has been edited by Owl (edited March 21, 2002).]
by wiccachica » Thu Mar 21, 2002 12:27 pm
cheers!
n
Chapter One Hundred and Eleven: Perversion Therapy…
Where in the world are Willow and Tara?
We all stare up at the darkened Ferris Wheel..then down at the control panel.
A "Back in 15 Minutes" sign dangles on the handle... The conductor is not at the helm.
It’s been closed for over thirty minutes now….and still no sign of Willow and Tara.
In fact….all of the rides have seemed to come to a stop…the garish multi-colored lights dimming as though the Fair itself were conserving its energy.
Or building up some Evil undercurrent of malignant power, Buffy…
But the sounds….
The sounds of the fair are still here….the rumbling sound of machinery…of rides in action…of hundreds of patrons screaming gleefully….The shrill beat of funk-metal being played on a distant stage…. The tinny roar of the crowd…
All still as loud and clear as ever…as though it were being piped in all around us…
And we haven’t caught sight of a single person walking by or a single ride in motion for the last ten minutes at least….
All of this had happened gradually…so as not to be alarming….and then at some point…I began to get a strange "dubbed" feeling.
Like watching a foreign film dubbed badly into English by Babelfish …
And then the fair-goers had finally stopped coming down the thoroughfare at all…
There was just us now….and even we were missing two of our just us-es….
When weird things start to happen to good people….and those good people are separated…it’s seldom ever good.
" Okay…is anyone else noticing that the sound and the….entire rest of this…aren’t…RIGHT?" I say. Danger looks at me with an ‘I told you so’ expression. He hugs Spuds a little closer.
" I know what this is…." Xander says. " I think we never ACTUALLY left that alternate universe…that were just in some crazy other skin…and Mother is just messing with our heads…."
Food for thought….but what are the chances of Xander being right on the first try…? Slim to none…
" No…" I say…" I don’t think that’s it….this place isn’t wonky-weird…it’s like festering Evil weird…Like something is lurking in the shadows…waiting for the moment when we distracted before it lunges…."
" Thank you very much Molly Motivator…you are giving me the jeebies over here!" Dawn says…hugging her own Spuds to her body.
" Whatever this place is…I say it isn’t Happy Days Nicey-Nice Carnival of Cute Fluffy Bunnies….so we should find Red and Blondie and get out of here…" Spike says.
" Carnival of Bunnies is just soooo WRONG…" Anya says…paling considerably…
" Okay…your plan of gathering our troops and retreating like lemmings is accepted….so now we need to find our girls…" I say.
" About half an hour or so, they were on the Ferris Wheel…so we need to think about where they would go next…"
We stand numbly staring at each other…until Dawnie adjusts her stuffed dog and cocks her head.
" Uhm…long shot…." She says, commanding our attention…since none of us had come up with anything…
What kind of supreme knowledge would my baby sister bring to this mix?
"Dawn?" I prompt her. She looks up…as though trying to remember something….
" If you don’t like what I’m saying
then, hold me down
and stuff my mouth with lies
until you hear what you want
until you cure me
until you redeem me
until you save me
from this aberration
you have shown me
that love is….." Dawn says…
For a brief moment I’m not sure what has taken over my sister’s body…
…and then I get it…
She’s reciting the exact words of the music being piped in around us….the funk-metal….and in perfect time with the woman singing the lead…
" If that’s a musical demon…I’m bailing…I swear…" Spike warns…
" It’s not a demon…it’s a song…it’s right off the album: 'Perversion: Diary of the Damned' by CarniVal…." Dawn says. " This one's called ‘Come and Get Me’."
" You think CarniVal is the band playing here tonight?" I ask…
Dawn looks at me.
Do I have to draw you a diagram, Buffy??? It makes perfect senseless nonsense….and hello?…Where else would Willow and Tara be but right back where we wouldn’t expect them to be…?
" It could be a trap?" Danger suggests, staring up at the Ferris Wheel with a mixture of confusion and thoughtful contemplation…..
" Well it won’t be the first time we’ve gone into a trap." I say…
And we pull out the foldable map of the carnival that we got at the gate earlier.
" Here’s the Ferris Wheel…the stage is….just off to the right… and past the hotdog booth…"
Okay…Now let’s find our girls and get out of here…!
Chapter One Hundred and Twelve: A Schlep Above…
" …going to TRY my best…" Willow says earnestly to me and then kisses me…
This time I’m nearly lost in Willow-kissage…soooo nearly….there…..
But out of the corner of my eye…I see something that dims the mood a little….
Why are all of the Scoobies staring up at us from the ground?
I break away from Willow and she looks slightly disoriented and annoyed….
" Wha…?" She starts.
" Look." I say…pointing down.
" What are they doing? Can’t we have FIFTEEN minutes??? We just got up here!" She shouts down at them. "Why aren’t they riding the rides?" She says indicating the busily moving carnival below…. The rides roaring…the music playing…the throngs of people walking by them…and they just keep staring up here at us….
" What’s the deal?" I say…and wave down at them…
…They don’t even wave back…in fact…they turn to talk amongst themselves.
Willow waves down to the conductor at the helm…he’s eating a sandwich…happily on his break…. He waves back to us…
Nothing wrong here…everything is….fine…have your fun, Ladies…Move along…there nothing to see here….
The Scoobies seem to be arguing something out…and then they all turn to Dawn for a few moments before pulling out a map…
The only one staring up at us is Danger…and he looks very thoughtful…and…almost confused.
And moments later…. they all walk away…
Very weird indeed…..
" Maybe they heard you…" I say. But Willow has this odd look on her face….
" I just….yeah…maybe…" She says snuggling closer to me again with a mild pout… " I just wanted this to feel like we are the only two people on Earth right now…Like no one knows where we are…"
I watch the Scoobies hurrying off to their next destination….
" You know, Sweetie…I kind of do." I say.
TBC…
------------------
"You're *NOT* the source of me." - Buffy
" I mock you with my monkey pants!" -Oz
" Tremble!" Gachnar (Fear Itself)
by canadian kitty » Thu Mar 21, 2002 12:43 pm
Love it! C'mere trolly-polly. You deserve a good scritching.
And Wiccachica, don't worry aout the wonky. This story was certifiable 22 pages ago.
[This message has been edited by canadian kitty (edited March 21, 2002).]
by ULookSoPrecious » Thu Mar 21, 2002 2:02 pm
Hmmm...Did anyone else get a 'Beetlejuice vibe' when Willow waved and everyone was looking straight at her but didnt see her? Or am I just insane?
*walks off mumbling about Winona Ryder, larceny, and too much news coverage*
*Runs back*
Sorry, forgot to add that I love this story AND the replies! I laugh my hind parts off everytime I come to this thread.
*walks off mumbling about forgetfulness and too much fun at 'Kray-Z Gerry's last week*
by ForeverPiper » Thu Mar 21, 2002 2:17 pm
quote:
Originally posted by ULookSoPrecious:Hmmm...Did anyone else get a 'Beetlejuice vibe' when Willow waved and everyone was looking straight at her but didnt see her? Or am I just insane?
Don't worry...you're not insane. I wuz actually thinking the exact same thing!
These last couple parts have been excellent. And I think I'm actaully understanding what's going on! *gasp* That's a first...and probably last, too!
quote:by bulldog_tidnab » Thu Mar 21, 2002 8:07 pm
the grrls arent bangin my door down so i am ready to commit to the troll if he'll have me.
*gives the troll a tiny scritch*
*grins nervously and waits for the trolls reaction*
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i'm gonna be a fireman when the floods roll back...
by bearskeeper » Thu Mar 21, 2002 8:14 pm
edited because I really have to remember to turn off the smilies!
[This message has been edited by bearskeeper (edited March 21, 2002).]
by LeatherQueen » Thu Mar 21, 2002 8:31 pm
And may I just compliment the troll by saying, "May the hair on his toes never fall off!"
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"Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind." -Glory
by Pixie » Thu Mar 21, 2002 8:59 pm
Bearskeeper, I'm so sorry!! I do remember you proclaiming your feelings for the troll. This whole thing caught me by surprise as well. One minute I thought I was just innocently scritching the troll, and the next, we're having the trolly equivalent of a shotgun wedding. It's not something I planned, it just happened. But the troll seems to be open to polygamy, so we might be able to work something out.
by Owl » Fri Mar 22, 2002 2:06 am
That said, what the hell is going on here? All this scritching clearly has this troll on a new level of strangeness.
I face the sunrise with equal amounts of trepidation and anticipation.....
[This message has been edited by Owl (edited March 22, 2002).]
by jomarch » Fri Mar 22, 2002 3:33 am
Thanks Wiccachica. Quite a trip as usual.
by wiccachica » Fri Mar 22, 2002 5:20 pm
Leatherqueen... The troll is honored by your hairy toe remark...he asks if someone with such beauty and troll etiquette has ever held court in a trolldom or netherworld...
Kids...I'm having a rough few days...hence the spiratic posts...but I will try to get back into the swing soon.... promise...
Meanwhile...here's this...
Chapter One Hundred and Thirteen: Peter Treewater’s School of Modern Dance
" You guys look like the Mod Squad…minus the Mod…" The woman says from her partially reclined position on the edge of the stage…One leg dangling off…eyes half-lidded…but by no means unalert.
We stop in the middle of an empty, haystrewn swatch of land, preceding an almost empty stage. The lead singer of a non-existent band lounges before us…
" Actually…come to think of it…’Squad’ doesn’t quite fit either…..you’re more like a ‘clump’ "
I don’t care if she IS the lead singer of a Internationally famous band…. I’m thinking she knows what happened to Willow and Tara and for that….I really don’t like her.
Buffy pushes me slightly behind her…out of harm’s way…old habits die hard…. I guess she doesn’t quite trust the dark-haired girl either…
" Hey!" I spout indignantly. But Spike Seconds Buffy by flanking her to the right…completely blocking my view.
Danger…true to his magnificent name…. Hangs slightly behind me…patting me insistently on the arm…trying to get my attention.
I shake him off to try to get a better view of the woman leaning on the hardwood.
" I’ve been waiting here FOREVER for you to find this place…I thought I was going to have to play that song off the new album called: ‘Hey Jack-asses…I’m over here on the stage…’ " Olivia says…still completely reclined.
Still there’s Danger with the insistent patting…and still I ignore him.
" Where are Willow and Tara?" I say from behind Buffy.
" Hush! I’LL take care of this…" Buffy warns me, then turns to Olivia. " Where are Willow and Tara?" She says.
Ah yes…the message is much clearer coming from her…yes indeedy…
" Well…I was hoping they were with you…and that you ALL would come here to see me…but it looks like it’s too late…and you are all going to suffer the torments of a thousand flagitious hell-worlds…" She swings her other leg over the side of the stage and sits up…her movement very graceful…almost effortless…
" So I guess the concept of ‘beating around the bush’ is totally unknown to you…" Spike says, lighting a cigarette.
" Smoking is bad for your health…" She says.
" I’m un-dead…I don’t have to worry about a little ol’ tar-stick killing me….…" He mumbles around his smoke.
" I didn’t say the CIGARETTE would kill you…" She says it in such a way as to set Spike to dropping it to the ground and crushing it into shards of nothingness under his boot.
" Dawn…" Danger whispers in my ear. I finally turn to see that he is pale…even for a vampire…he looks a little washed out around the old gills. He latches onto my arm and pulls me even farther back away from the whole scene.
" I know I don’t know much….but I know one thing…." He says…his voice is a little quivery around the edges…he keeps casting glances over to where Olivia is sitting.
" What’s wrong, Danger?" I ask him.
" She’s The Dead." He says..and on the final word…he drops his voice to almost inaudible.
" I know…Tara told us…she’s not alive…she works for Anubis…." I say…and he shakes his head…struggling to find the right words….
Meanwhile Olivia seems to smile…almost pleasantly….
" Why are you the only one around?" Xander asks her.
" Oh…everyone else is really BUSY right now…getting things ready for the party… I’m just here purely on business…call it a GIG, if you will…"
" A gig without an audience?" Buffy asks.
Danger commands my attention again as the word he was searching for comes to him.
" Not DEAD……Death….She-is-Death….and not the cute kind with the hood and the clawey thing…." He whispers as quietly as possible into my ear….
Holy….CRAP…if the hooded Death is his idea of the CUTE Death…what does that make…..?
" The killer gerbil back there have something to say?" Olivia calls back to where we are standing like a grade school teacher trying to grab the attention of the farthermost pupils in the back.
Everyone turns to look at us…huddled together…my eyes more than likely the size of plates….and Danger squeezing the stuffing out of his poor Spuds…
As soon as we catch her attention, Danger immediately tugs me back behind him as well…
Does ANYONE here think I can’t defend myself? Geesh!
" I-I said I ….know who you are…." He squeaks…not sounding in the least bit like a beasty of the night…but standing his ground.
" I figured you for a sensitive….it’s always in the eyes……" Olivia says.
" You totally lost me…" Anya pipes up after a few seconds of silence.
Olivia slides fluidly down off the stage….everyone backs away from her at the same time…even Spike….and he usually likes to at least keep the façade that he could care less….
" Hey…what’s with the personal space issues here….? Believe me…I’m sooooo not the big bad guy here….I’m like a fluffy kitten…a Virgin Margarita….well… the Margarita part anyway…." She doesn’t take another step. " To answer your question, a SENSATIVE is someone who can see things normal people…and vampires….can’t… good to have around in a crises involving shapeshifters and what-nots….but they tend to be weepy…and snivelly like Bobo The Boy Genius over there…"
" So tell me what does he see in you, Olivia?" I say…scowling and trying to console Danger offended form with a pat on the back.
" Hell…I hope he doesn’t see that piercing I got last month….(sighs) I’m kidding….I’m sure he sees that I’m the Gria’t Ap’tismon….. or the horrifyingly loose translation of it called… ‘ Untimely and Most Horrific Death’…"
Spike gives her a once over.
" You’re Death? THE Death…? …Honestly….I thought you’d be bigger."
" I am." She says bluntly. " And I’m not THE Death….I know Death…and he’s a real kill-joy…all stalker-guy….mopey…waits around to take souls… carrying a big old curvey slicey thing he-never-uses… and don’t get me started on how passe the whole cloak thing is…. I’m frankly a little ashamed of him….
" Tara said you were a messenger of Anubis…."
" CONTRACTED…he called in a favour, and I obliged. We are all about the calling in on favours I mean…The red tape around the underparts is a mile long…I was doing a gig here anyhow…"
" And now?" Anya asks.
" And now I’m here to actually do you a FAVOUR…I can’t get you out of here…but I can at least give you the most important clue to coming out of this alive….and if you don’t listen to me and do what I tell you not to…I’m sure I can find a perfectly comfortable spot in the Big Stupid-Ass room in the Underworld for you all…"
" Why would you do US a favour?" Buffy presses.
Good point….all-powerful evil offering a clawed handful of yummy candy…
" I scratch your backs….you scratch mine….." She smiles again…all charm….
And there is Danger’s insistent patting again. I look at him.
Don’t make a deal with her… That expression says.
Who am I to disagree with a ‘sensitive’? And besides…..
I’ve read every single Fairy Tale there is…and never has anything good come out of blindly making a deal with the only significant Evil in the story….actually…it’s usually quite the opposite….
" Okay…" Xander says…." So what can you tell us that’s going to make the difference…?"
Olivia thinks about a way to say this…
" You’re all going to be given a choice soon…..To be the….bat…or to be…. the tree…."
Okay…so maybe Evil doesn’t necessarily mean college diploma…..
" All I can tell you is be-the –tree…."
" Something is going to turn us into a flying rodent or lumber… if we’re lucky? Should I be scared of this? Because I am, you know…I’m scared of this…" Anya says.
" Why am I not hearing the essential pan flute rift right now? Where the heck is David Carradine when you need him….?" Xander says with a goofy grin.
" That’s it? Be a tree? You HAVE to be joking…." Buffy grouses. Olivia shrugs.
" I’ll make sure to request the Stupid Ass Room be equipped with cable…" She says…then glances past us…..
" It’s coming." She says…the humour gone from her expression. A slight edge of fear has replaced it. " Don’t say I didn’t warn you."
And with that…Olivia makes a less than grand exit….She walks back over to the stage…picks up her guitar…and walks off in the opposite direction…
Girl can’t leave her axe behind….it’s bad luck….
But none of us really care that she is leaving right now…we are distracted by the sound of It coming…something that scares Death away and makes Danger begin shuddering like a puppy just taken from a bath....He covers his ears and whimpers….
Coming closer….the sound blocking out any of the counterfeit sounds of a joyous non-existent carnival…..
I’ve never heard anything like it before….
Click----scrape---click----scrape.
Click----scrape----.
------------------
"You're *NOT* the source of me." - Buffy
" I mock you with my monkey pants!" -Oz
" Tremble!" Gachnar (Fear Itself)
by Owl » Fri Mar 22, 2002 8:47 pm
by Pixie » Fri Mar 22, 2002 10:19 pm
by maudmac » Sat Mar 23, 2002 12:18 am
And I should mention, just in case you didn't already know you're super-duper, that "Hush" is not only one of my favorite Buffy eps, but I think it's one of the best episodes of any show, ever. Period. (And I would think that even if I weren't a hardcore W/T shipper.)
You're building a palpable sense of dread that's equal to the best palpable dread I've ever seen. I'm serious.
So, I'm fixin' to make a run over the Kitten Accessories Emporium, can I bring back anything for the bath? Fluffy lavendery bubbly stuff? Ooo! Loofahs? I have a tab over there, so the sky's the limit.
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