Suicide of Buffy fan, Laura

[Ange]

quote:

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Suicide of tv Buffy fan laura

An article from the sun newspaper in the UK Wednesday, 2002-03-20 page 21

“A teenager who called herself a white witch and loved Tv`s Buffy the vampire Slayer hanged herself in her bedroom an inquest heard yesterday.
Laura Pendall 14, was taunted about her beliefs by school bullies in a gang called The popular Group.
They challenged her to put a spell on them.
She was also upset by her parents splitting up and the death of her great-gran, the Bedford inquest was told. Mum Liz, a civil servant, found her hanging by a scarf in a wardrobe. Mrs Pendall – who has two other children-, found a note reading: “Dear mum and dad, I love you.”
She said Laura, who had a slight speech impediment was a keen fan of Buffy, played by Sarah Michelle Geller.
She added: “she liked to think she was a witch it was a teenage passion.”
Coroner David Morris recorded a Suicide Verdict. He said, “she was a normal girl who got caught up with beliefs she was perfectly entitled to”

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I found this at the cross and stake.
That's just awful. God.

Ange.

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"Things are not always what they seem to be...." Shakespare.quote:

[Sela]

Agreed, Ange, this is awful. But I'm afraid of the implications. What I mean is, the use of "Buffy" in the title of the piece is misleading. I think this poor girl suffered from problems that had less to do with "Buffy" and more to do with feeling like an outsider. I just hope this doesn't turn into a blame game where negative attention is put on the show.

I think we should be worrying more about what occurs in the schoolyards. Children can be cruel and grief can be brutal. And if neither issues are dealt with, something like this can occur.

My heart goes out to her family.

--Sela

[Still Waters Run Deep]

Note that this piece came from the Sun, not noted for its accuracy, veracity, sensitivity or indeed balance.

The Independent carried the story but only referred to the fact that she was bullied because of her apparent belief in witchcraft.

I'm a libertarian but if there was ever a case for press censorship the UK tabloids provide it.

Its entirely possible that the Buffy quotes were inserted to add a little, shall we say, spice, so that if anything more happens the Sun has given itself ammo to go on a witch hunt [no pun intended].

I sincerely hope this is not the case in this instance.

Just what we need, more vested interests masquerading as moral outrage.

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love and kisses

Still Waters Run Deep

" Hi!..um..aw...shit...he he he....'Scuz me..er.. I did'nt mean to..er....expose myself to.. ,ya know..public...*groan* "

Amber...

[Ange]

I'm agree about the implication of the show. that's exactly like saying that scary movies are responsable, of all the serial killers in the world.

she obviously had troubles with the others. and kids are between them the most cruel persons ever. they really are.

I'm just pissed off that, when you're different of the others, that you'd be gay, black, tall, big or thinking that you're a witch. You need to prove to people that you're good. that others just put you trough so much, that they don't even consider that you can feel something.

Everybody feels different. And everybody is. that's the essence of the world.

i'm straight and i'm different. I feel different and we always told me that i was. Well, if being "normal" in this world, is to think that the others don't have the right to live, in peace, with their difference, then i'm proud to be what i am.

I love you all,

Ange.

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"Things are not always what they seem to be...." Shakespare.

[The Partyman]

I too was extremely saddenned to read this earlier today.

My thoughts are with her parents.

I only hope that they do not 'believe the hype' of the insinuated Buffy connection to her daughters death.

I imagine that Buffy was perhaps one of the few things that gave her comfort amidst the hate and bullying at school, and to witness the tabloid press using it as a story angle is extremely worrying.

[Mara]

This seems to be the 'death week' or something...

;_;

[Nic C]

That's terribly sad, but it's fairly obvious why they're reporting it. Moral outrage, here we come. Fake paedophiles are old news, how about wannabe Vampire Slayers?

I hate the tabloids. The extent to which they manipulate their readership takes my breath away, sometimes.

*What* relevance does Buffy have to this? I can see the inclusion of her beliefs, since it seems to have been the bullying about them that contributed to her suicide. Of course, the insinuation here is that her beliefs caused the suicide directly (although the reporter can't directly say that since the inquest was apparently quite positive, or at least neutral, about her witchcraft).

Did I mention that I hate the tabloids? Turning someone's personal tragedy into column inches by tying it into a well-known TV show... that's beyond pathetic.

Nic

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No sun, no moons, no stars over Al-Rassan.

[CPS Boy]

Thats just swell.....

just what the religious right needed, yet another reason to go after buffy fans and wiccas and lesbians.... (not that she was, but members of the RR in America are not the most clear thinking people in the world.

What I find interesting is that the article draws an unspoken connection between the girl's suicide, (which is obviously related to her isolation and sorrow,) and BTVS.

Certainly she was a fan of other things as well. But somehow you never see the headline:

Strawberry Icecream fan commits suicide, or
devout Christian committs suicide.....

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The good fight, aye?

[shellybean]

I agree that this is absolutely horrible and I hope it doesn't effect Buffy in a negative way. Like you guys said, its obvious that she was troubled to begin with. I hope that people don't start speculating that it had anything to do with Buffy.

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Tara: "I understand. You have to be with the person you l-love."
Willow: "I am." – "New Moon Rising"

"But with Tara, I just know she likes Willow, and she already has one of those" – "Family"

"Honey, in case you didn’t hear me the first six-thousand times, no more teleportation spells." – "Crush"

Willow: "I figured, life goes by so fast, if you don’t write stuff down it just gets…lost."
Tara: "Down to every last bagel"
Willow: "Down to every last everything I do with you" – "Forever"

[Zahir]

"The hardest thing about this world is living in it." And nothing makes it worse than being (or feeling) alone.

Makes one appreciate one's fellow Kittens all the more...

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"O let my name be in the Book of Love.
If it be there, I care not of
That other book Above...
Strike it out! Or write it in anew.
But let it be in the Book of Love!"
--Omar Kyam

[Genea]

Gosh, thats horrible I had a close friend who committed suicide. I feel really bad for her friends and family. Despite that I hope Buffy, witches and lesbians don't start getting hassled. Suicides are rarely mentioned in the media, I suspect only because the girl was a Buffy fan was this even mentioned.
Its true about kids though they are the cruelest.

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Sugarloaf
Well, dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians!!

[eekiboo]

yes, it is such a terrible tragedy. my former co-worker's son committed suicide as well. they never talk about it and perhaps they never will. it will be very hard for the parents. they will probably blame themselves for what happened bec. Laura didn't go to them w/ her problems. i just hate the fact that some kids can't talk abt their feelings and/or problems w/ their parents. in Boston Public, there was a seminar held in the fictitious high school there. the teacher doing the seminar told the parents "to get involved with your children's activities. ask them about what's happening @ school, or with their friends, or with their life, etc." i'm really sorry for Laura, her world was tearing her apart and she probably felt she had no one. may God bless her wherever she may be. peace.

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Willow and Tara
Willow and Tara's Room

[Corinthian]

My heart goes out to her friends and family, and all the Kittens.

[Zerattakis]

This is horrible. I hate taboids, always needing to blame someone/thing and this case, they're hinting at Buffy instead of the real issue, being different. This girl obvious had it bad due to her spiritual belief and outsidedness [its a word now, dammit.] I agree with Partyman in that she probably found some solace in Buffy, hence her devotion to it, not that it drove her to suicide. Thats like the old stayings of ;the devil mad them do it' or ' Marilyn Manson made them do it' [im not a fan of his by the way...quite the opposite]

my heart goes out to her parents and those closest to her.

Zera

edited cause im forgetful.
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SO: Okay, last question. What advice would you give to someone who gets their brains sucked out?
AB: Um ... eat a lot of apple sauce, preferably fed to you by attractive young lesbians.

[This message has been edited by Zerattakis (edited March 20, 2002).]

[Anakin1218]

my heart goes out to the girls family and it saddens me deeply.

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"My heart doesn't stutter" -Tara

[Wolfie]

I was really saddened to read this (on the post, that is - I'd rather eat my own brains with a plasic chip fork than read the Sun), and my heart goes out to her folks, who must be so utterly devastated. I'm sure what they really needed was a rag like that to wipe their muddy feet all over it. But what also saddens me is how lots of people will read it, and take what's written at face value. People do, in this country. We live in a society that constantly pushes us to be part of a mainstream, looking critically out at everything that is "different". It makes me sick.

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I am the sunlight on the sides of houses.

[This message has been edited by Wolfie (edited March 21, 2002).]

[wiltar]

I'm very sorry for that girl's parents...

When I told my mum about this (should have never done that) she blamed it on Buffy... Could have expected that from her (sorry if I sound bitter. Me & my mum = NOT a good combination) Argh... some people...

Patricia

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"What are they looking at?"
"The hotness of you, doofus!"

[Ange]

Other article here:
http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/this_b ... ory=276367

quote:

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Schoolgirl 'witch' driven to suicide
By Chris Gray
20 March 2002
A teenage girl killed herself after she was bullied at school over her belief in witchcraft, an inquest was told yesterday.

Laura Pendall, 14, hanged herself at her home in Keysoe near Bedford after she was taunted by a gang known as the Popular Group. The inquest in Bedford was told that pupils at Sharnbrook Upper School had taunted Ms Pendall with chants of "Burn the witch" and "Ding, dong, the witch is dead."

She was found dead in her bedroom last December by her mother, Liz, who said yesterday her daughter left a note saying she loved her parents.

Mrs Pendall and her husband Nigel had separated a few months earlier, but she said her daughter seemed to cope well. She said Laura's belief in Wicca was a "teenage girl's passion". "She liked to think she was a white witch. She watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer and read books on Wicca."

Her best friend, Briony Rothwell, told the inquest Laura was upset that her parents had split up. "She was also very upset about the teasing about her slight speech impediment and her Wicca beliefs," she said.

The school's headmaster, Peter Barnard, said any bullying Laura suffered was not serious enough to warrant a suicide bid. However, after her death he had a telephone call from parents who had heard that pupils were making bets on who would be next to kill themselves.

Recording a verdict of suicide, Bedford and Luton coroner David Morris said: "I am satisfied that she was affected by the break-up of her parents marriage, and there was something extra – her belief in Wicca."

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Ange.

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"Things are not always what they seem to be...." Shakespare.quote:

[Dr.G]

quote:

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Recording a verdict of suicide, Bedford and Luton coroner David Morris said: "I am satisfied that she was affected by the break-up of her parents marriage, and there was something extra – her belief in Wicca."

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Huh? What is that supposed to mean? These are the reasons she killed herself? Lay on the guilt for the mother and father why don't you? And wicca? Is that a reason to kill yourself? No mention of those bullies. Crap. I think they are grossly underestimating the destructive power of bullying. Whatever. A coroner is not a psychiatrist obviously.

[This message has been edited by Dr.G (edited March 21, 2002).]quote:

[buffelina]

I really don't like the implication that she committed suicide because of her Wiccan faith. (I mean, I'm Wiccan. Why would I kill myself over my own beliefs and spiritual practices?)
Nor did "Buffy" (the show or the character) influence her action.
She committed suicide because she felt like an outsider -- lonely and as though she had no place in the world -- all because people put down something about her they didn't understand and refused to understand.
It's unfortunate the amount of intolerance and ignorance that human beings exude and breed. We don't realize how harmful our words and judgments are.
My heart goes out to her family at this time.

[Ange]

They'd rather put the fault on the show and her believes, than on them.
That's way easier, this way.

Ange.

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"Things are not always what they seem to be...." Shakespare.

[grifter]

God I hate people. A girl kills herself and all the papers are concerned about is how to make more people buy their damn crap. And people actually fall for it! God I hate 95% of humanity (excluding all kitten board members, oc).

[Sela]

Irresponsible journalism--that's what it boils down to. This is truly a tragedy, and instead of focusing on things like peer abuse and grief management, they're picking on her belief system and her viewing habits. It's a gross misrepresentation of her life. Truly. But I guess it's easy to condemn something you don't know, right? All I have to say is shame, shame, shame.

--Sela

[greep]

The press always look for the easiest possible answer.

The complex truths behind tragedies like this don't fit neatly into a few hundred words.

[Sara Poe]

now i can't stop crying. this is sooo sad

[tommo]

This is indeed a tragic tale. But I agree with Garfield. I suspect this has a lot less to do with her outside interests and more to do with school. Working as a teacher, you tend to hear the most unimaginable things. And kids are getting more and more cruel as the years go by.

Yeah, I sound jaded. But I was bullied at school too (hmm, explains a lot chorus all the kittens...) and there's something feral about it. It's unnecessary, it's cruel and it's utterly soul destroying.

I watched The Pack yesterday. And I know I'll never forgive Xander for what he said to Willow.

You hear so many stories about kids who don't want to come into school any more because of a small group of idiots who make their lives hell.

This upsets me, but it also makes me bloody angry that the newspapers choose to focus not on the root problem of this girl's pain, but quite possibly the only happy escape routes she had away from it.

Bah.

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You know I've been through hell...Joss can't you see, there'll be nothing left of me. You made me believe...

[Hemiola]

I'm right with you there, tommo: there are few people willing to even acknowledge the existence of the brutality of children, let alone actually address the problem. I think it has something to do with a doggedly "rose-colored" view of childhood--it's worth noting that one of the very few books written on the subject of childhood bullying, Judy Blume's "Blubber", has actually been banned from many school libraries!

The truth is that compassion (a word which is derived from the Latin "patior cum"="to suffer along with") is an adult emotion, since it is mostly adults that have experienced suffering and/or mistreatment. Children cannot imagine the effects of the torments they inflict, since they have rarely suffered themselves--they only know how much "fun" it is to inflict pain and/or humiliation on others.

I don't know what the situation is in the UK, but in the wake of Columbine at least some schools on this side of the Atlantic have set up "anti-bullying" programs. Time alone will tell if they have any success.
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"Who gave you permission to exist?"
Cordelia to Willow in "The Harvest"

[tommo]

A lot of schools in the UK have anti-bullying programs. However, one school I worked at had a 'Bully Box' into which pupils could anonymously post letters or notes. That tended to help teachers identify pupils who were persistent bullies. It worked as far as it went, I mean, without actual proof there's not much you can do.

Unfortunately, a lot of parents tend to see bullying as just "part of growing up" or "part of school life". But there's really no excuse for it. I realise that bullying often indicates other traumas going on in a child's life, but it's still so hurtful and destructive to the bullied. And I think in terms of how that child grows up, there's always a constant need to be powerful, or to avoid the bullying situation in later years.

I really feel sorry for this girl's parents, as I'm sure that they probably didn't even know the extent to the bullying that was going on. I hear this story too many times for it to be just "unfortunate". Sigh.

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You know I've been through hell...Joss can't you see, there'll be nothing left of me. You made me believe...

[supermus]

quote:

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The truth is that compassion (a word which is derived from the Latin "patior cum"="to suffer along with") is an adult emotion, since it is mostly adults that have experienced suffering and/or mistreatment. Children cannot imagine the effects of the torments they inflict, since they have rarely suffered themselves--they only know how much "fun" it is to inflict pain and/or humiliation on others.

I don't know what the situation is in the UK, but in the wake of Columbine at least some schools on this side of the Atlantic have set up "anti-bullying" programs. Time alone will tell if they have any success.
--------------------------------------------
"Who gave you permission to exist?"
Cordelia to Willow in "The Harvest"

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Yeah a lot of US schools have set up anti-bullying programs, but they don't do much good. Despite what the principal may say, schools are NOT "bully-free harrasment-free environments. Does that gang actually call themselves "The Popular Group"? Cuz that's a pretty lame name. See, people have an amazingly refined ability to blame ANYTHING but themselves/the community. The problem is, these kids have no idea what it's like to be teased. Like you said, they don't feel compassion, or sympathy. They feel they can do anything they want to someone, just cuz their different. And gee, I wonder where they got that idea from. Oh, and I love the sig quote. Almost disturbingly appropriate.

[This message has been edited by supermus (edited March 21, 2002).]quote:

[Genea]

I am constantly amazed by the press twisting and mangling things to sell papers and with schools being unwillingy to realize they have a bully problem. An ignored issue is never resolved they can only get worse. Being a bully is not a part of growing up and some people never grow out of it. The principal of her school will probably be shocked when another suicide or when further bullying insues. I feel really bad for her parents and friends but, I feel worse for the principal and newspapers who obviously have their heads in their collective asses. Okay, rant over.

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Sugarloaf
Well, dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians!!