Sexuality and Identity Thread

[VampWillow]

This is a good discussion, I'm happy it's here. I'm young, only 18. I've been questioning since I was 14 or so, long time, well for my age at least. I've never been in a relationship of any kind, been on one date and it didn't go well (it was with a guy). It felt weird holding hands, I realized it more just him then anything else. I've asked people who I knew were gay how they knew and they say they just knew, it makes it even more complaticated. I don't know what I'm trying to get at...I've told my mom and she's okay with it and is supportive, my dad isn't, I'll spare you with what he said, when I asked him how he feels about gays. I've even discussed it with my friends who are all questioning too, that makes it easier. I just rambled and didn't make any sence, but it feels good to say it. If anyone would feel okay with talking with me about it, I would be greatful.

Gillyana

[xita]

VampWillow, I'll relate a story. I had been questioning my sexuality since I was 12. I didn't actually do anything but have boyfriends for a bit in my early teen years, and spent most of high school thinking I really liked girls better but didn't know how to approach them, so I settled on questioning. I would not have used the word gay at that age probably. Anyway, I went to a young lesbians meeting when I was 18. However, what I encountered was not very comforting. These girls were confident, secure and proud of their sexuality. I was still trying do make up my mind. So I left the place thinking, maybe I am not gay, I am not that sure about it, like they are. Anyway, one girl named Kathy stopped me and said, "hey don't let those girls get to you." And she talked to me and made me feel more comfortable like not feeling so sure was ok. And I stayed and I met my girlfriend there (someone that 12 years later is still my girlfriend). And eventually I was as confident and proud as those girls, I just came about it differently.

The point is, you don't have to decide, you don't have to be one thing or the other. Just live your life and experience it and it will come to you.

[coolbeans]

Xita, that's really great advice. I'm in the midst of 'questioning' my sexuality and rather than get worked up about the constant 'am I gay, am I bi, am I straight, what am I?' dialogue going on in my head I've decided to just take it one day at a time and not rush into any one place on the spectrum that is human sexuality. Eventually I'm sure I'll be able to better define myself, but I feel strongly about doing that on my own terms, and not the terms of someone else.

Anyway, this is a fantastic community and I look forward to getting to know everyone better!

[Willowhand]

quote:

---

Originally posted by judy:

What is the worst possible reaction your mother could have? Would she bar you from the house and would you have a place to stay if this was the case? How financially dependent are you on her?

---

Thanks for the advice and links and such. I know my mother wouldn't kick me out...but, I guess I'm more worried about what she's going to say...or think, or whether or not she'll be in denial about it.

quote:

[judy]

Please make sure you have some support if you decide to come out so you will have a safe person/place to go to talk through your mother's reactions. Keep posting here too!

And while the Internet and this board is great for giving and receiving support, I personally think it's important to have face-to-face support as well!

[This message has been edited by judy (edited March 19, 2002).]

[shellybean]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Willowhand:
I'm so glad to see this thread. Anyway, I need some advice.
I've known I was gay for a really, really long time....and, I've come out to everyone, except my parents. My parents are divorced, and I live with my mother...so, I'm not as concerned with telling my dad right now. What I really want to do is tell my mother...but I'm not sure how she'll react. She was completely homophobic about two or three years ago...then I got her to watch Willow and Tara recently, and she *does* like them together. I've been trying to tell her lately that being gay isn't a sin and blah blah blah...but even though I've been hinting around that I'm gay, she still doesn't know that I am. And I just really want her to know, since everyone else does. It just seems kind of weird when she asks me which guys in my school I like...and...I can't say anything, and then she always wonders why. Anyway, to make a long story short, I just need some advice on coming out to my mom.

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Willowhand, I TOTALLY understand what you're going through. It seems like everyone knows about me except for my family and I am COMPLETELY terrified about telling them. They are really old fashioned and I know they love me but that they're going to totally freak. They're really close minded and have all these plans for grandkids and all this so I really don't want to tell them. Most people say things like 'parents will surprise you' and 'just give them a chance' but those people really don't know my parents. My parents are scary people. And the thing is that I know how they'll react and that it'll be negatively. I know that I need to brace myself for the day I tell them(if I do) because it could very easily be the day I lose them. I don't know how telling you about my problems will help except that you know that someone else is going through the same thing too. I hope if you get any good advice that you'll pass it along.

------------------
Tara: "I understand. You have to be with the person you l-love."
Willow: "I am." – "New Moon Rising"

"But with Tara, I just know she likes Willow, and she already has one of those" – "Family"

"Honey, in case you didn’t hear me the first six-thousand times, no more teleportation spells." – "Crush"

Willow: "I figured, life goes by so fast, if you don’t write stuff down it just gets…lost."
Tara: "Down to every last bagel"
Willow: "Down to every last everything I do with you" – "Forever"quote:

[Bunny]

ok heres my story which i hope will help one or two of you because it covers quite a few aspects.

I came out four months ago today, I had been married for 12 years and have 2 girls, the eldest of which is nearly 12. I got married because it felt like I had to do that to fit in, that it was expected in my society. I had had a major major major crush on my best friend who I lived with for 4 years before I got married, I actually told her how I felt about her but she didnt feel the same. So i decided to go ahead with the wedding as to me there was no alternative. Still the gay word never entered my mind despite this crush and despite the fact that i had been intimate with a girl in college, who just a few months before my wedding told me she was gay and had met someone. I think i must be thick or something because still pennies werent dropping. So i'm there married, pregnant very quickly and was so in love with my daughter that I wasnt bothered that i wasnt in love with my husband. Had my second child and it went downhill from there. It never felt right when we were having sex, I had dreams about being with women but still nothing clicked. I withdrew from my relationship with him and became a grumpy person, threw myself into my work and my kids extra curicular activities. Until one day last spring my kids were watching Buffy and I watched too, and I thought "wow that Buffy is cute", bought the vids, bought the books, surfed the net, found the Kitten, and started to look again at Aly. Then when Amber came along things started to click into place. They had what i wanted (dont we all). I hung around here more and evntually got picked up (she will hate me saying that) by another Kitten. We started mailing each other and she made me realise what was happening to me and what I was made me face up to my life. I finally decided to be true to myself I felt free like someone had loosened my chains. I told my husband I was gay, he said he knew and still loved me. I told my kids and they were so great. They help me check out cute girls now and roll their eyes and go "oh mum" when I go "oh yeah nice ass", My husband and I are living together amicably for our kids but are physically and emotionally seperate now, its hard for him but we are dealing. I also had the problem of telling my mothers, yes thats mothers plural as I have two (birth and adopted)which is twice the angst most people have. One was shocked but fairly ok with it, the other said "you cant possibly be gay you're married, I dont think you are", so after telling her that she hadnt a clue about what i was feeling we managed to get on with our lives fairly normally without really discussing the gay issue. Its like it's a non topic, which is fine with me as I am not really comfortable discussing it with her.

Then came the other perspective as a parent, my nearly 12 year old daughter who is a bit of a tom boy to say the least came to me the other night and told me she had her first crush on a 16 year old girl. I told her it was ok, it was fun and it was perfetly normal. If she is anything like her mother it will be the first of many!! But I felt really good to know that my daughter could come and talk to me about her crush on a girl. How many girls can tell their mothers that?! I am so happy that because of what I have been through, my daughter, if she does turn out to be gay, will have all the support from me that she ever needs. Because as a parent all I ever want for her is for her to be happy with who she is and who she choses to love regardless of their sex.

Sorry this is long but I hope my experience can help some of you. If anyone wants to ask me anything or I can help anyone else going through a similar thing please feel free to email me.

Lee

[This message has been edited by Bunny (edited March 19, 2002).]

[This message has been edited by Bunny (edited March 19, 2002).]

[stacey_bourgeois]

I just read through this thread and wanted to comment because some of the feelings people are having, I've had and can relate. I'm 25 years old and live in Toronto but I'm originally from a small town called St. Catharines where you don't see a lot of openly gay people.

I have always had feelings for other women but never really knew what to do with them or that they meant I could be gay. I always thought that other people were gay, not me. I dated several guys but never got serious with them and never slept with any of them. I thought there must have been something wrong with me because I never really wanted to have a real relationship with any guys. I did, however, want to be around certain women. Gradually I told myself that I must be bi-sexual. I came to accept that but told myself to stick to men because life would be much easier. After talking to other people, I came to realize that I could be gay. That I was just denying it because I felt like I didn't fit the stereotype and I thought of lesbians (I didn't know any out lesbians) as some sort of exclusive group. At first I was afraid to even go to a gay club in case people there shunned me. Through the internet I met new people and made new friends. I went to my first gay club with a lesbian I met off the net. Turns out, it wasn't a huge deal at all. I realized that my preconceived notions were wrong and there is no right way to be a lesbian.

I came out to my friends first. My friends are all very supportive and encouraged me to go out on dates with various women. I was nervous at first having no experience but eventually I relaxed. I met my current girlfriend and everything was so natural once I relaxed. It felt right and not uncomfortable like it was with a guy. I realized that most of my fears at accepting myself as a lesbian came from what others would think and my own preconceived notions. I am not butch. I am not femme. I am some where in between. You don't have to fit a stereotype and you don't have to be a butch/femme couple. You be what your heart tells you to be. Be true to yourself. That's all there is to it.

I came out to my parents last September and my mom was a bit freaked at first. She is now so much better after reading a couple books. My grandmother, surprisingly enough, figured it out on her own. She was the only one to truly pick up on it without me saying anything. She's 100% supportive as well. In fact, my whole family is telling us that we better invite them to our wedding next year. Family can surprise you. And you feel so much better once you know you're not hiding anything from them. It's just easier on you, not having to hide your life.

[This message has been edited by stacey_bourgeois (edited March 19, 2002).]

[Xanadu]

Okay...I've been having a dilemma lately. I've been going through a period of depression lately, partly because of my questioning my sexuality, partly because of some other stuff that's been going on. Anyway, my mom has been really supportive of me during this time, and I've been leaning on her a lot. The problem is, the closer I get to her, the more I long to tell her all of what I'm going through. Knowing that I have this big secret is maing me feel terrible- like I have this constant weight pressing me down. I've had secrets from my mother before-we were not very close until these last few months. I'm really happy I've had her, and that we've stopped our 19 years of fighting, but...it makes it harder for me to keep this from her. The problem is, I know how she will react. She is very religious, very politically conservative, and very homophobic. She makes comments about homosexuality all the time, how it's disgusting, unatural,a sin etc. She's also been harping on me about finding a boyfriend, I think she thinks it'd make me feel better if I had someone. I don't live with my parent's, and I'm not financially dependant on them in anyway, but I'm not sure I could handle losing their support at this time in my life. At the same time, them not knowing, and my imagining their reactions to me is really not helping my condition. I'm afraid I'm going to crack one of these days, and wind up saying things I can't take back. I just needed to get that off my chest, and wondered if anyone had any advice on how to handle this.

Amy

[Willowhand]

quote:

---

Originally posted by shellybean:
Willowhand, I TOTALLY understand what you're going through. It seems like everyone knows about me except for my family and I am COMPLETELY terrified about telling them. They are really old fashioned and I know they love me but that they're going to totally freak. They're really close minded and have all these plans for grandkids and all this so I really don't want to tell them. Most people say things like 'parents will surprise you' and 'just give them a chance' but those people really don't know my parents. My parents are scary people. And the thing is that I know how they'll react and that it'll be negatively. I know that I need to brace myself for the day I tell them(if I do) because it could very easily be the day I lose them. I don't know how telling you about my problems will help except that you know that someone else is going through the same thing too. I hope if you get any good advice that you'll pass it along.

---

Wow, your situation sounds exactly the same as mine. My Mother probably won't take it as hard as my father will, but for some reason, I'm more scared of telling her. I just don't want her to think it's a 'phase' or something, or just completely brush it off...or act like I'm a different person just because I'm gay. And, yeah, if I get some good advice, I'll let you know.
quote:

[stacey_bourgeois]

Your mother will probably think it is a phase when she first finds out. That's how most moms of the people I know reacted. My mom confessed that she thought she could be gay back in high school and that everybody goes through that. It's just a phase and I haven't met the right guy. Blah blah blah. Then she thought about setting me up and stuff like that. She eventually came around but it took months. She wouldn't discuss it with me, just with my dad and other people. She didn't know how to react and some books really helped her. She picked up a book by herself and my gf bought her another book called Now That You Know. She has supportive friends and family members around her too which helped. She is now embarrassed by her initial reaction, especially since her own mother reacted better. You see, my grandmother surprised everyone when she said that she had already figured it out and that it was no big deal because I am the best person she's ever met in her whole life. I was afraid of their reactions but everything turned out in the end. I always knew, however, that my family would never disown me so I guess that made things easier for me. It's tough to tell others what they should do since everybody has different family situations.

[capricornmist]

Thanks LBJM, it was nice to feel acknowledged.

And I know your right, take each day as it comes.

Plus finding this place was a good start! I`m beginning to like it here, nice warm fuzzy atmosphere! :-)

Rachelle

------------------
"I want you, but i`m not giving in this time.
Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything that I knew.
You were the one I loved, the one thing I tried to hold onto."

[Karzia]

quote:

---

Originally posted by judy:
Please make sure you have some support if you decide to come out so you will have a safe person/place to go to talk through your mother's reactions. Keep posting here too!

And while the Internet and this board is great for giving and receiving support, I personally think it's important to have face-to-face support as well!

[This message has been edited by judy (edited March 19, 2002).]

---

For example, when I came out to my Mom, I picked a GLBT freindly coffee house here in Omaha (yes we have them in the Midwest LOL). That way if she was shittypoo to me I had a suport group right there in the building, of caring yet uninvolved strangers.

------------------
Ad astea per astaquote:

[Xanadu]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Karzia:

For example, when I came out to my Mom, I picked a GLBT freindly coffee house here in Omaha (yes we have them in the Midwest LOL).

---

We do? Where at?

[This message has been edited by Xanadu (edited March 19, 2002).]quote:

[Grace]

Thank you so much, Dazey for the website ideas, and also to anyone else who answered by last post. I am so incredibly thankful for finding this community, and for being able to be open with other human beings about my confusion for the first time. And I am so glad to see all the other stories of people going through similar experiences. I'm glad we can be here for one another.

[LBJM]

quote:

---

Originally posted by capricornmist:
Thanks LBJM, it was nice to feel acknowledged.

And I know your right, take each day as it comes.

Plus finding this place was a good start! I`m beginning to like it here, nice warm fuzzy atmosphere! :-)

Rachelle

---

your welcome
yeah this place is great! currently I use the approach of taking it day by day at my job they've made so many changes it just bothers me.. but when I just focus on making it through the day my anger goes away and I can do my job.
LBJMquote:

[Karzia]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Xanadu:
We do? Where at?

[This message has been edited by Xanadu (edited March 19, 2002).]

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The one, I mentioned was Downtown grounds on Jackson, thought the Yuppie larva have over taken, now we go to Jackson street Coffee, next door to Dazy May on the cornor of 13th and Jackson, Hey we should get togther and have coffee and chat about our girls, ( see all purpose meeting thread)

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"As God as my witness I thought Turkeys could fly." L.Nesman, WKRPquote:

[orion]

Quick background,
2 months ago I told my best friend that I'm attracted to women. She was totally understanding thankfully her current boyfriend has a few exs that are bi so she had delt with it before. He has been really nice about it too, even giving me some pointers, which was wierd. So on friday they took me to a local coffee house that he told me was a great place for me to meet someone. I was totally nervous. Here I was surounded by women that minght actually do something about my feelings. So my reaction to the situation....don't say anything and try not to make a fool of myself. Anyway we get a table and I'm checking out the crowd a cute blond walks in. The first person
I made eye contact with the whole night. Now a little while later she is just standing right next to our table and all I could think of was 'oh my god oh my god, what do I say'. I was nervous I missed a perfectly good oppertunity. Now I didn't know what to say to guys how am I suposed to talk to women?
Are there anythings I should know, like things to avoid saying? I know people always say be yourself but I am so totally on new ground here.

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"Okay, thats a little blacker then I like my arts" -Willow

[judy]

Congratulations on coming out, Orion!

I am hesistant to write out advice to the particular situation you mentioned (of what to say). Instead, it sounds like it would be helpful to pass on some books that deal with flirting and sexuality. I have only read the first one (which is a good basic book that covers flirting and how to meet people). I heard good things about the second one but never read it (and am now inspired to go get it!) There are probably some other good resources I am not thinking of right now!

The Whole Lesbian Sex Book, by Felice Newman

Exhibitionism for the Shy, by Carol Queen

Have fun!

[AJ]

I haven't posted for a while and I think now is the best time to get back into it....

I think that this thread is totally amazing and wonderful. Each of us have our own little stories and issues that need to be voiced, and the kittenboard is the perfect place for that because it is filled with loving Kittens that are extremely supportive... I LOVE YOU ALL....

I remember when I first found the board, before I came out, yet well after I realised that I was gay. When my friends caught me glued to the computer, constantly reading messages on a screen with a dark blue background, I found myself making up excuses like, ' oh this is just a Buffy board where everyone chats about the show' etc... always trying to cover up for myself... The Kitten board helped me realise that what I was feeling about women was a wonderful thing and that I owed it to myself to be honest. That I was an amazing person who is experienceing something completely natural. Though I never really posted any of my issue's on the board, I found that just be reading others posts, alot of my personal questions were answered.
Now, I am OUT AND PROUD and whenever someone catches me on this board(which is basically 24/7...hehehe), I proudly stand up and say, 'This is a Willow and Tara message board where I talk to a huge pile of amazing people who are refered to as KITTENS and we celebrate what it is to be alive and true to ourselves.....' then I usually get all excited and scream out something like ' ....and I worship AMBER BENSON...' it is really quite an amazing experience, to feel like you have a place in the world where there is no bias about who you are attracted to or who you ARE....

So, I would just like to finish my post by saying....

YOU KITTENS ARE THE GREATEST!!!!!.

AJ.

[shellybean]

Wow, those are some great compliments AJ. And funny thing, I used to do the same thing with the board! I always used to be on reading messages but not really posting and friends would always see it and ask what I was doing and I'd always just say that it was a Buffy posting board. But now most of them know that it is a Willow/Tara message board(I think the pictures of Willow and Tara being all cute and cuddly gave it away) and I'm proud to tell people that I'm a kitten!

------------------
Tara: "I understand. You have to be with the person you l-love."
Willow: "I am." – "New Moon Rising"

"But with Tara, I just know she likes Willow, and she already has one of those" – "Family"

"Honey, in case you didn’t hear me the first six-thousand times, no more teleportation spells." – "Crush"

Willow: "I figured, life goes by so fast, if you don’t write stuff down it just gets…lost."
Tara: "Down to every last bagel"
Willow: "Down to every last everything I do with you" – "Forever"

[goul]

Hey you all!!!

I've been through the same problem how will I tell my mom I'm gay?
I thought I'd share my experience...
I realised I was attracted to girls very early, I was 11.
I was sort of lonely and had very few friends. I was a real tom boy, I think it was a way for me to show I was different. My very first relationship was when I was 17 with a girl I was in class with. It was a very chaotic relationship for I knew she wasn't really gay and that some day she'll leave me in order to see what it's like with a boy. But It lasted for three years and now I know we were both unhappy for none of us had what we were longing for. I decided to break it up for I felt she'd never have the courage to do it herself.
I was a very difficult time for me, I thought I'd never find someone who wanted the same thing as I did.
A week after we broke up, she told me she was in a relationship with some guy and I lost it. I couldn't stop crying, I probably shouldn't have but I felt betrayed. My mom sensed something was wrong and I told her that girl was a lot more to me than just a "friend". That's how I came out to my mom. My sister already knew. But I'll never tell my dad, I don't feel the need to...
A few months after all this, I met a wonderful person, and we've been together for almost 3 years, and I love her very much.
I finally found someone who wanted the same thing, and I must admit that's nice...
That's all, sorry if it's a bit long,
take care everyone,
goul.

[Willowgirlieuk]

Just wanna say, cool thread, havn't had much of a chnace to read the Kitten board as i have been SO busy but im thinking of making time! And this will be the 1st thread i read me thinks...sadly can't read now as well family don't know and they always nose at what im doing- they need to get them selfs lifes or many a hobby!

[CPS boy*]

Hey everyone.... I have been reading up on Kinsey's six point sexuality scale. We were only able to touch on it in grad school, but I'm dying to discuss, and look! a large population of people to whom the scale is particularly relevent. I know that there is a large number of educated and intelligent people here, so my question to those in the know is, what do you all think about Kinsey's theory and work in general?

Thank you!

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The good fight, aye?

[Genea*]

CPS-
Well, first I have to say that I am a 5 on the scale. From what I have studied on Kinsey I think that it is only really accurate for men. At the time of Kinsey's study (40s and 50's) women were not exactly active and even if they were, were not likely to discuss it,even if the study was anonomous. Also, this study does not take adolescent experimentation into account. Experimenting as a teen into adulthood should have been include.

------------------
Sugarloaf
"Due to the recent presidential elections, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off."

[CPS boy*]

Genea:

Thank you for your response! I was concerned about the gender of Kinsey's population too, and when I looked into it, I found that most of his respondants were women. His population included 5,300 men and 5,940 women, which I found surprising considering that he began his study in 1948.

Like you I think, one of the biggest problems I see with his scale is that it only takes into account behavior. It ignores thoughts and feelings related to sexuality. I understand why he did not address them, as feelings are very difficult to measure, but I think that it is a major weakness. But for the time, it really was groundbreaking work. No one had ever tried to catagorize human sexual behavoir. And considering the time period, I thought the work was quite brave. Imagine, in the early fifties a scientist was actually suggesting that MOST people are bisexual! Must have been shocking stuff.

Anyway, I've recently stumbled onto Storm's two-dimensional conceptualization of human sexuality. Are you familure with it? It addresses what Kinsey did not: Feelings and tendencies as well as behaivor.

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The good fight, aye?

[This message has been edited by CPS Boy (edited March 22, 2002).]

[Genea*]

CPS-
I have not read any of Storm's but I would be intrested in it and then discussing it. Will you hoo me up with some info? thanks

------------------
Sugarloaf
"Due to the recent presidential elections, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off."

*reposted by WillTara

[Lothar]

If I may step in on the Kinsey report.

I find that there are two major flaws in his report findings.

First of all I'd like to state that these errors I am not finding in his scale. If people wish to label themselves according to this scale then that is perfectly acceptable. But what I have a problem with is his findings.

In his report he states that about 10% of the world's population is homosexual. The first problem with this is his definition of a homosexual is "The persons who are identified as 'homosexuals'in much of the legal and social practice have rated anything between 1 and 6 on the above scale" (Kinsey et al, 1948:651). So by stating that, anyone who has had "Incidental" homosexual activity is therefore homosexual. So why wouldn't any homosexuals that have "Incidental" heterosexual activity be consifered heterosexual?

Second, I have read some reports that state that a majority of his subjects that he interviewed for his statistics were either criminals or sex offenders. If this is true, then why did he only get statistics from those people? That doesn't seem like an appropriate scientific approach. But if the sources I read are just making that up it is equally as disturbing because it is saying homosexuals or deviants which I do not believe.

However, even with my first thought I have to discount his findings on homosexual activity.

For the rest of his report some things I did find fasinating and even though it was written in a different era some of it still holds true today.

"These are the males who most often condemn the homosexual, most often ridicule and express disgust for such activity, and most often punish other males for their homosexuality. And yet, this is the group which has the largest amount of homosexual activity... As a group these males may strenuously deny that their sexual contacts have anything to do with homosexuality; but the full and complete record indicates that many of them have stronger psychic reactions to other males o admit. When they no longer find themselves being paid for such contacts, many of them begin paying other males for the privilege of sexual relations" (Kinsey et al, 1948:384).

Lothar

[fell]

Re Kinsey's "10%," here's the data from the first report (on male sexuality):

quote:

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"[A]t least 37% of the male population has some homosexual experience between the beginning of adolescence and old age.... This is more than one male in three of the persons that one may meet as he passes along a city street." In addition, 13% of males react erotically to other males without having overt homosexual contacts after the onset of adolescence. (This 13 percent, coupled with the 37 percent who do have overt homosexual experience, means that a full 50 percent of males have at least some sexual response to other males after adolescence - and conversely, that only the other 50 percent of the male population is entirely heterosexual throughout life.)

4% of males are exclusively homosexual throughout their lives after the onset of adolescence.

8% of males are exclusively homosexual (scale 6) for at least three years between the ages of 16 and 55.

13% of males have more homo than hetero experience (scale 4-6) for at least three years between the ages of 16 and 55.

18% percent of males have at least as much homo as hetero in their histories (scale 3-6) for at least three years between age 16 and 55.

25% percent of the male population has more than incidental homosexual experience or reactions (scale 2-6) for at least three years between the ages of 16 and 55.

---

Your definition of "homosexual" determines how you interpret these statistics as much as anything. Given identical facts people tend to define themselves very differently than others do.

Kinsey's sample subjects were not "criminals or sex offenders." That is a lie, possibly propaganda intended to discredit the report's validity. The sampling was "scientific" or at least what seemed representative to the researchers. (It wasn't racially representative, at any rate.)

The important thing to remember is that how and what you ask can influence the results. (These were face-to-face interviews done at a time when people generally didn't discuss sex.

Kinsey's results for women were accompanied by so many qualifiers and explanations that they were difficult to interpret, though at least 8% fell into the "mostly to exclusively homosexual" categories. It's also important to remember that at the time younger women were certainly less sexually active. Abortion was illegal and birth control not very readily available. Studies done in the 70's gave very different results.

[This message has been edited by fell (edited March 22, 2002).]quote:

[alexis_18]

this time in my life... like, right this moment... i am not sure about many things anymore. like the ground has been yanked off my feet for unknown reasons, but there's one thing i am certain... that i am gay. i guess i am done with the questioning part about my sexuality and i don't think i need the scale, i feel it... like i am gay-blooded or something. and having this tough time, i feel blessed that at least, i know what i am and what i like. being gay is the only thing right now that seems to be a blessing. i am not sure if this is the thread to post, but i am taking my chances.

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"Knowing I was a lesbian transformed the way I saw, heard, perceived the whole world." -pat califa