Okay, you guy's...I've never tried this here before, but what the hell, here goes nothin'...I've wondered several times what Tara's thought's must have been at the end of OMWF. It's obvious that she went back home with Willow, but what must she have been thinking all that long, long night...
AFTER GLOW
I really don't know what to say to her. I just feel numb all over...but she's in so much pain right now, I just feel I must push my own concerns aside and be there for her.
My God, I can't believe we brought Buffy back from heaven! If that thought is like a nightmare to us, what must it be like for her? To have known Paradise and then lost it--pulled back to this plane by the very people she loved and trusted most in this world...
But I can't think about that now. Willow needs me. My poor Baby. She tortured herself for months over Buffy's death, convinced she was in eternal torment in an unknown hell demention. As I hold her in my arms in the quite of our room, I am reminded of the many nights she woke-up screaming from some nightmare, having seen her best friend enslaved in hell. Then, as now, her body would be racked by sobs and I would hold her, just as I'm doing now, whispering endearments in her ear, and stroking her hair, doing my best to defeat her torment with my love for her, but now...
My God, Baby! How could you do this to me?
No, I can't think about that right now. Right now, my Will is devestated, and she needs me to be strong. Maybe some good will come out of this. Maybe now she'll see that magic is not the by-all and end-all that she thought it was. Maybe her regrets about the reserection spell will make her regret other spells as well...like the one she put on me...was it only one? No, I can't think about that now. I've never seen her so broken.
I don't know where all the others went. home I guess. Buffy disappered and so did Spike. Dawn followed us home and went straight to bed and Willow...my poor Willow hasn't uttered a word since we left The Bronze. I got dressed for bed and Willow still hadn't moved from where I released her when we reached our room. I helped her change and get in bed and she has clung to me ever since then in such a desparate way. I wonder if she knows I found out about her spell? She had to know I was upset with her before we left The Magic Box, but even if she did, I believe Buffy's anouncement completely over-shadowed it.
We'll have to talk. I can't let that just go.
But for now it will have to wait. For now she needs me more than I need answers from her. For now, she needs me to be strong for her. For now, she needs me to be here for her. For now, she needs me to love her. For now, she needs me. Goddess, I love her so much! Please grant me the strength to stand with her now...and up to her if I must.
Tara McClay