Food for thought Part 16
Tara’s lip trembled as she turned her back on the embracing couple. Buffy looked on, somewhat bewildered at her friend’s behavior and frowned when she noticed Tara’s crestfallen features. Willow and Leah continued talking, both oblivious to the stir of emotions that emitted from the others.
“Why isn’t she killing her by now?” Anya asked, confused and eager to see a little bloodshed. She knew the details of Willow’s relationship with her ex-girlfriend, at least the bits that she happened to eavesdrop on, but nonetheless she knew enough to be entitled to a little violence. Or so she thought.
“Um, I-I’m g-going to s-see if a-anyone n-needs help,” Tara stammered horribly, just wanting to get away as Anya continued raving on about throttling, kicking or something of that sort. Tara had already blocked out all other sounds, except the thud of harsh beats ringing in her eardrums. Her heart pounded fiercely, throat muscles constricting tightly as she fought to keep the tears behind burning eyes.
So this was it. Willow was going to leave her, and all she could do was cowardly turn her back and let it happen.
She inwardly berated herself as the thought leaked into every part of her mind, causing her to fumble with the empty trays in her hands. Regaining some of her composure, she turned to see if anyone had noticed and caught Willow’s stare as she did so. As if by instinct, she held Willow’s gaze, but dropped it when the redhead smiled at her. She had wanted so badly to smile back, but feared that the movement of her cheeks would only cause her unwanted tears to fall.
A hand on her shoulder made the blonde jump. “We could always club her over the head and drag her out back, if you want.” Anya whispered, seriously. It was plain to see that she and Willow weren’t exactly the best of friends, but Anya still remembered the bout of depression that the redhead had went through when Leah left.
“Think about it,” she encouragingly patted Tara’s shoulder, and walked off without waiting for the blonde’s response.
Though oddly enticing, Tara shook Anya’s suggestion off as a comforting gesture and snuck another glance toward the other side of the restaurant. She reluctantly toned into her surroundings again, and happened to catch a low ‘thank you’ from Leah’s mouth, before turning back to the empty tables.
Tara happened to look up again when Leah walked toward the door, and saw Anya behind the departing woman. With eyes wide in anticipation and a cheeky ‘how ‘bout it’ grin, Anya’s eyes darted from Tara to Leah, then back again. Tara bit her lip and quickly waved for the young woman to let it go. However pleasing it might’ve felt to see Anya in action, it was still callous and Tara didn’t want anyone getting hurt on her behalf.
When Leah left, Buffy came up and nudged Willow, but the redhead’s eyes were glued to Tara. “Okay, so what was with the smiling and hugging?” Buffy asked. She wasn’t expecting anything violent, like Anya, but a happy reunion wasn’t exactly on the list either.
“I remember when a certain redhead could barely get out of bed, let alone smile.” Buffy continued, finally getting Willow’s attention.
“If you can’t be friends after, you were never friends before.” Willow said, simply. “I mean yeah, it was hard when she left, but with the right amount of time... the hurt lessened. There’s still a little anger left, but only when I think about it.”
“Why now? Why did she come back?” Buffy pressed.
“She came to apologize,” Willow half-listened as she tried to catch blue eyes. But Tara hadn’t looked at her since Leah left, and Willow could guess why.
“And that’s it?” The cook frowned, incredulously; not believing how calm her friend was about seeing her ex-girlfriend after more than a year.
“Yep, that’s it.” The redhead shrugged and smiled back at Buffy, “It was time to let go.” Her smile shifted to Tara, “And I think I’ve already found something better.”
“Go ahead.” Knowing what Willow was thinking of, Buffy nodded and gave her friend a playful push toward her girlfriend.
Using small, almost timid movements, Tara faced Willow when she saw the redhead move closer from the corner of her eye. Nervously, she watched as Willow closed the space and reached out for her hand.
Dewy palms stuck to soft skin, and Willow suddenly felt guilty for what she was sure Tara had been thinking, while she was speaking to Leah.
“Are you okay?” Willow was surprised to hear the words coming from Tara’s mouth, rather than her own. The blonde had used every ounce of will to keep from stuttering, believing that it would only add more pity.
“I’m great,” the redhead smiled, and then sighed gently when a shadow of sadness crossed Tara’s face and her eyes dropped. “Hey,” she lifted the blonde’s chin with a single finger. She could sense that Tara already knew about Leah, though the short version, it was enough to spark doubt in her girlfriend’s mind. And of course, the hugging didn’t help.
Tara’s fingers smelled of rosemary seeds as she brought the tips to her cheek, before lowering them and pressing the flat palm against her heart. “Nothing’s changed.” She whispered. But that was wrong, because something had changed.
“I still want to be with
you,” Willow went on, keeping her voice the same even as people began turning toward their private conversation. She didn’t care what they thought, only the beautiful face in front of her mattered.
Tara’s eyes lit up, as if the sun had literally twist drops into them. “Y-You...you do?” Like a beacon, Willow’s smile caused the blonde’s tears to fall. But the droplets never reached Tara’s cheek, having been wiped away by Willow's thumb as they reached the surface.
“Are you okay?” Happiness flashed in the redhead’s eyes, and mirrored into Tara’s.
“Oh yes.” Without bashfulness, Tara kissed her partner square on her lips. While rolling the taste on her tongue, like sweet water, the blonde pulled back. But only to allow Willow to breath, not because of the low gasps of disapproval or surprise, which had rung out in the restaurant during their kiss.
Both girls were beyond caring as their hot breaths mingled among the bitterness in the room. Willow was sure she heard Buffy say something to one of the customers, but just as soon as the awareness came, it passed just as quickly.
“She only came to-.” Willow started. But the redhead’s attempt to explain was quickly forgotten by Tara’s slender finger upon her lips.
“Shhh,” the blonde silenced her gently. Perhaps it was best that she didn’t know the full story, at least not at that precise moment. The only thing that seemed to matter was that Willow had come back to her, though now she wasn’t quite sure if she’d ever left.
****
Hours had passed, along with the different faces, which had occasionally wandered in and out of the restaurant. Xander had come to pick up Anya, and the couple stayed briefly but left a little bit before the ladies closed for the day.
“Hey guys,” Buffy held back as Willow and Tara headed toward the car. Shifting a little under both their gazes, she wrung her hands nervously. “I’m going to take a walk.” She gave Willow a knowing look and the redhead grinned and nodded.
Sunnydale didn’t have a wide selection of hotels but there were a few small ones here and there, a couple of which were along the way back to Buffy’s house. It wouldn’t hurt to look... just out of curiosity.
Tara gave Buffy a questioning glance as she walked on, but smiled and followed her partner to the car.
****
The atmosphere at Tara’s apartment hadn’t changed since the girls arrived a little less than an hour ago.
Simply enjoying each other’s company, the couple snuggled together in the back bedroom, watching television. Willow was glancing at Tara, though the redhead kept her finger on the remote as she flipped through the channels. So entranced in the view, she didn’t notice what program the TV had stopped on, until Tara’s eyebrow quirked and she turned toward her. Finally dragging her eyes to the screen, Willow coughed and fumbled with the remote, as Tara looked on amused.
“Sorry,” Willow laughed nervously and pressed the off button. A side lamp was lit, but the bedroom curtains were closed, leaving the room in a dim glow. Shadows on the wall grew closer as the redhead leaned in, placing an almost chaste kiss on Tara’s lips.
The sexual tension grew, but Willow’s kisses started to feel a bit rushed to Tara. Automatically confusing them for sympathy, as if the redhead were still trying to make up for Leah’s appearance, Tara pulled back.
“You don’t have to prove anything to me.” The blonde said quietly.
Willow frowned at the lack of Tara’s lips against hers, but smiled when she realized what Tara must’ve been thinking. Lifting a hand up to the blonde’s cheek, she ran her thumb over an ear before gently bringing Tara’s face less than an inch from hers.
“I know.” The conviction in Willow’s voice made the blonde’s breath catch slightly. All doubt had melted away into a shallow pool in the center of her body, and Tara reached over, flipping the light switch.
***
(I’ll leave it here for now, but I’ll put the continuation up a little later today or tomorrow.)