Hey Kittens. It's Tuesday night and here is the promised update. Feedback responses to 7h will be up tomorrow eve EST.
Rating - R for nudity and "themes".
Angst - not so much just tons of Willow/Tara goodness
Have fun.
****
Anya opened the door reluctantly. It was too early for Xander which meant it was … Buffy. “Xander’s not here.”
“Oh.” Her visitor seemed out of sorts, confused and upset – and still here.
“You're not going away. Why aren't you going away?” she asked.
Buffy hovered on the doorstep. “Well, I was kind of hoping to look at some of Xander's stuff.”
Okay, what was she supposed to do? Human etiquette was just so different from demon. For example, no demon would just show up at the door without a lengthy invitation … unless it was to fight or to steal. She smiled suddenly, remembering. “Oh. Sure. Come on in.” She chuckled a little uncertainly and gestured for Buffy to come in. Buffy was human, so presumably she didn’t have to worry about either fighting or stealing. “Make yourself at home and so on.”
She closed the door and settled back down on the couch, resuming her reading. She usually preferred true crime or murder mysteries, but this biography of Sunnydale’s favorite son was really good. She quickly lost herself in it again. Her head jerked up as Buffy sat down on the couch beside her, forcing her to shift over to accommodate her.
“Oh, you’re still here. That’s nice.” She smiled slightly at the other girl and dropped her gaze back to the book.
“May I ask you something?” asked the Slayer. Without waiting for the answer – which would have been no, because the book was getting really good – she asked, “Does it ever seem just a little strange that Jonathan is so good at everything?”
That was a pretty stupid question, but she decided to be polite. It was good practice, and she could tell Xander about it later, which would make him happy, and then he would make her happy. She shrugged. “He’s Jonathan.” She deliberately turned a page, waiting for Buffy to take the hint and leave.
But Buffy took the book instead. She stared at the cover, ignoring her attempts to reclaim it.
“Hey! I was just at the part where he invented the Internet,” she protested.
Buffy flipped through the book with no apparent purpose, occasionally stopping to examine a picture. Finally, she turned toward her. “Anya, he fights better than I do. And I'm the Slayer.” Buffy pointed to her chest. “The Slayer! That's supposed to mean something, right?”
For a moment she was utterly confused, and then she remembered how she sometimes had to cheer Xander up when he’d lost another job. Oh, not the sexy cheering up – no, that probably wouldn’t work with Buffy – but the other, less physical way … that might help. “Oh! Buck up, you.” She punched her in the arm very softly. “You kill the best. Go you. Kill, kill.” She thought the little cheer would have worked better with the pom-poms, but she didn’t feel like getting them out. Xander really liked it when she bounced and waved the pom-poms.
Confusion seemed to mingle with apprehension on Buffy’s face. “Actually not needing validation right now – but thank you.” She hesitated for a moment. “He just seems too perfect.” Anya watched her glance back down at the book. “I don't know.”
Buffy sounded finished. Maybe she could .… “So I can have my book back?” She followed her request with a tentative reach for the book and sighed as Buffy moved it a little farther away.
“Anya? When you were a demon, you granted wishes, right?”
Oh. Her favorite – well, second favorite – topic. She smiled happily, remembering. “Vengeance wishes on ex-boyfriends. I'd wish he was a dog or ugly or in love with President McKinley or something.”
“But someone could wish the whole world to be different, right? That's possible?”
That was a strange question, especially coming from Buffy. She considered her answer. “Sure, alternate realities. You could, uh, could have like a world without shrimp. Or with, you know, nothing but shrimp. You could even make like a freaky world where Jonathan's some kind of not-perfect mouth-breather if that's what's blowing up your skirt these days. Just don't ask me to live there!”
She decided that she’d fulfilled all the criteria for human politeness. “Now if I, uh, could just have my book back, you could be on your way someplace else?”
“Here.” Buffy handed her the book and left.
No thank you or goodbye or anything. Wait until she told Xander how rude his friend was.
****
Tara finished the last syrupy swallow of tea and licked her lips. It had been very good and she felt much better, mostly because she was being held by Willow. But she thought she might feel even better if she were clean. That suddenly held enormous appeal.
“Was that good, baby?” Willow’s voice caressed her ear.
She nodded and felt Willow kiss the back of her neck. Nice.
“She’d feel even better if was clean.” Dani unknowingly repeated Tara’s own thought.
“Yes,” she sighed. “That w-would be nice.
“Are you sure?” Willow asked uncertainly. “You’re not really very strong right now.”
She nodded.
“We could help. She … the two of you don’t have to do it all by yourselves,” Jo pointed out.
She could feel Willow considering her neighbor’s offer. She could take a shower with Willow. Not the way she’d been planning to, of course, but still … a shower with Willow.
Dani grinned at her and she knew her face was betraying her. She smiled conspiratorially at her.
“Okay,” Willow agreed suddenly. “But we’ll need something for Tara to sit on, and neither of you needs to get wet.”
“Of course not. Our getting wet is not an option,” Dani reassured Willow with a softer smile. “We’re just muscle.”
“The end shower stall is handicapped-accessible. It has a bench in it – and it’s nice and roomy,” Jo offered. Willow and Dani eyed her speculatively, and Tara smiled mischievously. “Well, it is!” Jo was blushing as she gathered the remnants of their “picnic”. “I’ll put this away while you get Tara’s stuff together.” Without waiting for any response, she quickly left the room.
“I see a nice fluffy robe, but what drawer do you keep your PJs in?” Dani asked as she walked over to her dresser.
“T-Top. Not PJs. L-Long johns.”
“Okay. Got ’em.” Dani scooped up her bathing kit from the top of the dresser as well.
The door opened and closed again, readmitting Jo. Tara watched amazed as Jo and Dani efficiently planned her shower as if it was some kind of military invasion. Their thoroughness and intensity seemed to have shocked Willow into silence. She smiled and wriggled back into her lover’s arms with a sigh. Warm water would feel so good.
“Okay, Willow, you’re going to take this stuff. Me and Dani are close enough in size that carrying Tara won’t be a problem,” Jo announced.
Oh.
Tara shook her head. “No, y-you don’t have to c-carry me!” she protested.
“Ha!” Dani exclaimed. “You think you’re walking?”
“Y-Yes.” She could feel Willow chuckling silently beneath her.
“Well, you’re wrong,” Jo asserted. “Right, Willow?”
The chuckling stopped. “Uhhh,” Willow hesitated, “Baby, it would be better if they did. Maybe?”
She pushed herself upright, hiding her pain from Willow and the other two girls. “I can walk.” She pulled the comforter loose and kicked her feet free of it. Head swimming a little, she decided to rest. She fingered the brightly patterned coverlet. “Whose is this? I’ve been w-wondering.”
“It’s ruined, no matter who owns it. That blood isn’t going to come out,” Dani observed.
“It’s mine,” Jo stated with a smile, adding, “And it’s okay.”
“Oh. I’m s-sor…,” Tara started to apologize.
“”Pfffft. Don’t be,” Willow interrupted. “Buffy’s mom knows how to get blood and all kinds of other ooky stains out of stuff – she’s had lots of practice. There was this demon that spit this black slimy stuff,” she ran down as she caught the looks they were directing at her, “which you really don’t need to hear about right now. I’ll give her a call after your shower – I’m sure she’ll have something that will make Jo’s comforter as good as new.”
She scooted to the edge of the bed and stood up. “I think we keep it tucked around you until we get there, okay?”
“As good as new, huh?” Dani looked both skeptical and annoyed. “It just figures. I bought all new after ... Sarah.”
Tara heard Willow’s sharp intake of breath and her very slow exhalation. “Dani.”
“What?” the brown-haired girl asked.
“We are going to have a talk about what happened to you. Soon. Not now, not today – but soon,” Willow stated, fixing Dani with a look until she nodded her acceptance.
Tara tried to push herself up to her feet and the room whirled. Three pairs of hands grabbed her and kept her from toppling onto her face.
“Okay, that was a little over-confident. Next time I put less sugar in your tea,” Dani’s hand gripped her shoulder.
“How many spoonfuls did you use, anyway?” Jo asked, apparently curious.
“Six … heaping ones.”
Tara gazed sheepishly into the face of her lover, who was crouching before her.
“Don’t. Try. That. Again.” Willow emphasized each word with a gentle caress. “Silly.
Let these two do the donkey work, okay?”
She nodded, letting Dani and Jo lift her arms up over their shoulders and raise her to her feet. Willow stood with her and draped the comforter around her, hiding most of her from view. As they walked slowly to the door, the pad shifted in her panties, reminding her.
“Willow. The t-tampons, please?”
“Okay.” Her lover detoured back to her dresser and added the box to her armload of clothing, towels, robe and stuff. “Got them.”
“I just h-hate pads,” Tara confessed. “But thanks for b-bringing them.”
“No problem,” Dani shrugged. “I do too, actually.”
“Who doesn’t?” Jo added. “It just seemed a reasonable solution given how out of it you were earlier.”
“I know,” she replied as the three of them angled their way through the door Willow held open.
Tara was relieved and pleased to see that the hallway was empty. She’d been concerned about that. She hated being the center of attention.
But they made it to the bathroom without either audience or mishap, and settled her on the outer bench. Jo steadied her while Dani helped Willow with her burdens.
As Willow unwrapped the comforter from her body, Tara realized that she was about to have a fairly intimate experience with two near-strangers. She also realized that it didn’t particularly bother her– and it would have if it had happened just a week ago. It was a little strange how much she’d changed in a week.
****
Willow carefully removed the comforter and handed it back to its owner. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” Jo replied. After making several sloppy folds, she stashed it to one side.
“You really think Buffy’s mother has something to get those stains out?”
“Oh yeah, she’s been dealing with stuff like this for years now. She’s a real pro at them,” she assured them. “Buffy tends to have wardrobe-altering fights.”
There was silence for several long moments. “With vampires … and monsters.” Dani seemed to be having some trouble grasping the concept.
Willow nodded. “Yeah. But when Buffy gets hurt, she heals … really fast. Stains are a minor problem, since her mom’s such a whiz. But rips and tears really get her. Those piss her off, ’cause she loves nice, expensive clothes.” She turned back to Tara and began lifting the blue top off. She’d loved that top with the blue skirt. Tara had looked so beautiful in them last night. Neither was salvageable. “Come to think of it, rips and tears piss me off, too.”
“It was a pretty outfit,” Jo agreed. “But it’s replaceable.”
Dani nodded.
Willow looked steadily at Jo’s friend. “Y’know, getting her skirt off is going to be more difficult than this. And there’s going to be blood – lots of it.” She kissed Tara on her forehead – the uninjured side – in apology for what she was going to say. “Sorry sweetie, but … you’re bleeding fairly heavily, and I know I cleaned you up some, but it’s pretty much all over your legs.” She turned her gaze back to the brown-haired girl, who was biting her lip. “So are you going to be okay?” she asked, very deliberately, very carefully.
“’Cause if you’re not, you should go now, so Jo doesn’t have to worry about catching you if you faint. If she misses – tile’s pretty hard.”
“But you need my help….”
“We don’t need you fainting like you almost did with the tea. Will you be okay or not?”
She tried to keep her voice neutral and non-judgmental, not as harsh as her words. She wasn’t at all sure she succeeded.
The brown eyes flashed, but Dani’s voice was soft. “I don’t know.”
“Okay, I’m getting wet, too,” Jo interjected. “Willow, I can hold her up and steady her while we get her into the shower. You can take the rest of her clothes off once she’s in the spray. Dani can go to my room and get me towels and a change of clothes. It’s no big – really.”
Suiting action to words, Jo tugged her shirt and jeans off before Willow could say no. The look in her eyes was almost challenging as she strode into the stall in bra and panties, tugged the bench into place, and turned on the water.
“Okay.” Willow had no choice but to agree, and looked back to Dani, who … wasn’t there.
“She left?”
“Yes. I think sh-she just needed a reason. S-Something to do.” Tara looked up at Jo.
“Right?”
“Yeah. I didn’t think she’d leave on her own. Now, let’s get you out of this bloody skirt.” Jo grinned suddenly. “Y’know, I’ve always wanted to use ‘bloody’ as an adjective. I mean, I know that’s not the real way, but hey.”
Willow giggled. “No, it’s not. Not correct at all.”
“Mr. Giles uses it, doesn’t he?” Tara asked as Jo helped her stand.
“Yeah, he does. He tries not to, but yeah, he’s big with the ‘bloody this’ and the ‘bloody that’.” She glanced at Jo, who was looking confused. “Giles is Buffy’s Watcher – kind of like a Slayer Supervisor.” She unfastened the skirt and pulled it down, the panties following. “Just step out of them, baby. There.” She folded panties and skirt together and quickly stripped down to her own bra and panties, hanging her clothes on a nearby hook. She hesitated just a moment before removing her underclothes. Jo’s presence, well – it was just like gym class, right? She hung them up as well, and she and Jo carefully guided Tara into the steam-filled shower stall and onto the bench
“Water’s not too hot, is it?” Jo asked.
“No, it feels good, but ….” Tara paused, “I f-feel silly with my bra on.”
“Oh. Right.” Willow unsnapped and removed it. “I forgot, what with Dani’s exit and the maneuvering and all.” She left the warm water and put the now sodden bra with Tara’s other clothes. She sorted through the rest of the things they’d brought for the next step. Shampoo. Soap. She sniffed in appreciation. Lavender. Tara’s favorite soap was absolutely perfect for this. She smiled suddenly. Dani – Wiccan, not witch – she’d know that lavender was healing. Cloth. There. She rejoined Jo and Tara in the shower spray and stowed the items nearby.
Tara’s eyes were closed, a soft smile on her lips, the water hitting her legs.
“She says she’s good,” Jo relayed. “So I’ll wait out there. Back in a flash if you need me.”
Willow nodded and the other girl left with a smile. “Hey, it’s detachable. Cool.” She removed the showerhead from its hook.
“Yeah, this is everyone’s f-favorite shower.” Eyes closed, Tara stretched a bit as Willow angled the spray over her body, obviously enjoying it.
Willow grinned. “Well, I can see why.”
Tara’s eyes opened. “This isn’t ….um, quite the sh-shower I’d intended to t-take with you.” She grinned wickedly and pointed at the hand-held. “I had great plans for that showerhead.”
Willow stopped … just stopped for a moment.
“Oh.” She’d scored pretty darn high on her SAT verbal, yet she was totally wordless. How did Tara do this to her?
“Uh-huh,” Tara confirmed. “I still do.”
“Oh.” She was beginning to understand why Giles cleaned his glasses so often.
“Willow.”
“Uhhh, yeah?”
Tara chuckled. “Y-You’re blushing … all over.”
“Yeah, I am, Ms. Maclay. It’s a thing, y’know. Sexy talk and I blush.” She finished rinsing her lover and then hung the showerhead back in place. She snagged the soap and began lathering Tara’s body.
“Oooh, lavender!”
Willow grinned as Tara stretched and wriggled a little under her hands. “Mmmm, yeah. It smells nice and should help you to feel better, too.”
Blue eyes gazed into hers. “Dani’s sweet, isn’t she?”
“Well, sweet isn’t the word I’d use, but yes, she seems nice. Here, let’s see about turning you around.” She held Tara’s hands and arms as her lover inched her way through a half circle. “There.” She handed Tara the soap and took down the shower head. She sprayed the lather from Tara’s back and arms and then directed the spray onto her thighs. The water ran away, pink.
“Sweetie, I th-think we need a tampon.”
“Okay.” Willow handed the showerhead to Tara and went to get one.
“Hey – is it going okay?” Jo stood just outside the cubicle, bundled up in a towel, Dani holding her.
“We’re fine.” She lifted her hand, tampon and all, to show them where things stood.
“Don’t need any help, thanks.” She ducked back inside, aware that she had gone pink all over again.
Tara had lifted the showerhead and was soaking her hair.
“Hey, that’s my job!” Willow protested and heard her lover chuckle. She took it away from her and set it aside while Tara pulled her wet hair back. They looked at one another for a moment, then Willow sank to her knees before her. She held up the tampon.
“Ummm?”
“I can d-do it, but I, um, need to s-s-stand up”
"Oh no, you don't – not after that swirly episode in your room! I don't think so!" She nodded for emphasis and was preparing her resolve-face, but Tara agreed almost immediately. Which brought up her main concern. “Uh, I’ve never done this for someone else.”
"I sort of figured that," her lover said with a smile. She lifted her hand and caressed her cheek. “You w-w-won’t hurt me. I'll g-guide you.”
Willow nodded and swallowed. She'd been doing this for years. Doing it for someone else shouldn't be so hard. Carefully unwrapping the device, she crouched down low. Tara’s hand surrounded hers. She angled the tampon and slipped it gently between her lover’s legs. Middle finger guiding the tip, she found Tara’s opening. “There?” she asked, just to be sure.
“Yes, love.”
She inserted the tube, felt Tara pull her hand closer, and pushed it in a little deeper. “Okay?” Her lover nodded and she pushed the plunger. Smoothly she withdrew the plastic tube, slipped it back in its wrapper, and tossed it just outside the stall. “I’ll trash it later.”
Tara sighed contentedly.
“Better?” she asked as she resumed spraying water over her lover.
“Much better.” Soft, full lips curved upwards in a smile. “Y-You’re w-wonderful.”
She soaped her lover’s thighs and watched the lather turn pink. Finally, she replied, “You make me wonderful.”
****
Jo had decided long ago that there were few things she liked better than being held by someone. It just felt good; she felt warm, secure, and loved when someone had their arms around her. But with Dani, she was discovering that being held by a woman was even better. It was softer and gentler, but didn’t lose any of the warmth and security. It was sexy, too. But that could be because she was almost naked and Dani was fully clothed.
Whatever.
She just knew she liked it. She wriggled a little in Dani’s arms and heard her friend’s soft breathy chuckle. So what if they’d missed brunch. Circumstances aside, this was nicer.
The water cut off in the shower, and she sighed, just a little.
“I think they’re finished,” Dani whispered in her ear as she released her.
“Yeah.” She stepped away reluctantly, but captured one of Dani’s hands before she moved out of reach. Willow’s head, red hair slicked back, appeared from the cubicle. The witch caught their eyes and beckoned for them before ducking back inside.
Very softly, Dani said, “She’s nice, in an irritating way. I don’t think I want to kill her.”
Jo just grinned.
*****
Clean again. It felt so good.
And warm. Her long johns on, snuggled into her bed, the covers pulled up to her chin, she felt Willow slip into her bed. Her lover curled up behind her so that they nestled together like two spoons.
“You’re sure you’re okay?” Jo asked for what had to be the hundredth time.
“Yeah. She said she was.” Willow’s voice was developing a definite edge to it. “She’ll go to health services tomorrow.”
And she would. She’d promised. Even if it meant a tetanus shot. She sighed.
“Okay, then.” There was a pause, then Jo asked, “You can reach the phone?”
“Yes, I can reach the phone. And I’ll come and get you and Dani to stay here when Buffy calls. Which – well, it’s not mid-afternoon yet, and usually things happen after dark here. So we all have a few hours … okay?”
“Okay.”
She heard the door click as Jo pulled it closed and smiled. She wriggled a little bit deeper into Willow’s arms.
Safe.
Her lover was a cool monster fighter. It would be okay.
She relaxed completely and went to sleep.
****
Buffy couldn’t make sense of it.
How could this have happened? How could Tara have been hurt? Last night Jonathan had said they were safe, that the thing that had attacked Karen was only a brainless beastie.
That it was harmless and probably more frightened of Karen than Karen was of it.
But Tara had been hurt, in spite of Jonathan’s assurances.
Buffy played and re-played portions of the day’s conversations as she walked and thought.
Foremost was the fear and anger on Willow’s face as she reiterated Jonathan’s reassurances.
“Buffy? Jonathan said we were safe! Jonathan said it.”
Her reply had been so inadequate. How could she comfort her best friend with doubts of Jonathan?
“I guess … I guess he made a mistake.”
Willow knew that wasn’t possible.
“He doesn’t make mistakes. Remember the SATs? He got a perfect score and then he recreated the original proof of Fermat’s last theorem in the margins around the answer bubbles.”
It was just so confusing. After all, he had been wrong about the monster. But she’d found herself agreeing with Willow.
“You’re right. He doesn’t make mistakes.”
Except he had.
She walked back down the streets she’d walked earlier in the day. This time her eyes focused on the various signs. The marquee of the Sun Cinema read “Being Jonathan Levinson.” Inside the drugstore was a display of Jonathan-shaped chewable vitamins. She passed two kids playing with their action figures and overheard one proclaiming “I crush you with my super-Jonathan blaster!” All around her were signs.
And all the signs featured Jonathan.
Belly churning, she headed back to her room. It was time to call the Scoobies together.
They could meet at Giles’ apartment after dinner.
Tara had been hurt. It was time to get to the bottom of this, because it was wrong.
Somehow, it was all wrong.
Pax! -Bev 
by singgirl » Tue Jan 21, 2003 10:40 am 
That's just me and something I could never do. I'm too shy. 
Thanks for reading.
My writing is spare and not wordy at the moment – it can be the other way. I have an academic’s tendency to verbosity that I fight constantly. Thanks again for reading. 
