Alicpires take on Season 8. Start of ep 17 added 15/11/2006

[Alicepire]

Er hi.. I'm new to this whle fan ficcy thing.. the posting.. not the reading.. SO I'm probably gonna do a whole bunch'o'wrong things.. But posting the script for the short film that I've already written seems like allowed procrastination activities to put off editing said movie... So anyway yes.. Posting..

Title of the story: Buffy The Vampire Slayer ep 8.16 - Life In Plastic
By: Alice
Distribution: Do what you will.. But please credit.. movie for VCE.. Don't feel like failing cos the evil school certificate people thing I plagerised.. that would suck.
Spoilers: Pretty much everything up to and including 'Chosen'.. I kinda followed cannon... If half briefly mentioning the evil one is too far OT please say.. Again, I'm new, please put down the pick axe..
Rating: Reasonably PG..
Pairing: W/T.. and Xander and Anya are still together.. but you don't really notice...
Disclaimer: I suck. I don't know what I'm doing. And there is way too much repeated explaining of what's going on.. Mostly that was just a way of making my Dad say Giles' lines over and over without telling him that his Giles accent sucked... And I know I should edit, but I'm lazy.
Summary: Residents of Sunnydale (which is Sunnydale again despite being blowed up.. Hey, it's my story) have been mysteriously turned into action figues...
Notes: Imagine everyone with really bad accents and being action figures (if it helps you picture it, I'm using the together forever figure for Willow and the 'Hush' figure for Tara.. who cares about the others?) Also, being a movie it's in studio script format.. or would be if I could work out how to center stuff...


-TEASER-
INT SPIKES HOUSE
SPIKE is sitting in his attic watching the 05 version of Pride and Prejudice, it's the second proposal scene.. aww..

SPIKE
Bloody hell my neck is stiff.

SPIKE tries to move his arm up to his neck but it doesn’t move normally, SPIKE looks at his arm, he appears to have turned into an action figure

SPIKE
Well that’s not good…

-END TEASER AND ROLL OPENING CREDITS-



-ACT ONE-

INT WILLOW AND TARAS ROOM
WILLOW and TARA are in bed, just lying there, hugging rather stiffly, something seems to be wrong but they haven’t noticed yet.. well.. we can’t tell that they haven’t noticed yet, but we will once they start talking and stuff..

WILLOW
I’m so glad you’re back baby

TARA
Me too Will, I missed you

WILLOW
Hurrah for Buffy’s wonderful use of her wish. I knew she wouldn’t wish for shoes..

TARA
She had you worried for a minute though, come on sweetie, I saw your face, I was there remember?

WILLOW
Yeah.. Well.. It’s not that I thought she’d wish for you anyway. I thought she’d wish for Joyce back or for Angel to be human or for the first to be gone or something.. But I did hope against hope. And I wanted to suggest it but…

TARA makes a sound like she’s trying to suppress a giggle

WILLOW
What?

TARA
I’d just forgotten how cute you were in full babble mode..

TARA tries to move closer to WILLOW but something isn’t right..

TARA worried
Er.. Will..

WILLOW also worried
Yeah Tara?


TARA
Can you move?

WILLOW
A bit.. but not much.. I don’t seem to be able to properly bend my fingers or my elbows or knees.. and the joints on my wrists seem poorly made.. and I think I can remove my hand..

TARA
That’s not good… But it also seems to feel oddly normal..

TARA manages to roll over, WILLOW is kinda stuck in her arms, but the movement manoeuvres the blanket off them

WILLOW
We’re action figures

TARA
What? Nono, you and Buffy are maybe, but I’m certainly no figure of action..

WILLOW
If I could move my face, I’d be smirking right now.. But that’s not what I meant.. I meant that we’re plastic toys, the kind that are usually bought by geeks in bulk

TARA
Oh.. Is it just us?

WILLOW
I’m not sure.. Maybe this is one of those ‘call for help from the slayer’ type things?

TARA
Oh yeah.. Can you get up?

WILLOW
I’m gonna have to answer ‘no’ on that one.. Maybe we should sleep on it.. It could just be a dream and we’ll wake up in the morning and see everyone and everything will be ok..

-END ACT ONE-


-ACT TWO-

INT SOMEWHERE.. not sure where though.. but seeing as Sunnydale was destroyed it can be anywhere.. So I say GILES NEW HOUSE

TARA
Thanks for getting us up Buffy

BUFFY
No problamo

WILLOW
I still don’t see how come you got to be the deluxe figure.

BUFFY
Maybe it’s a slayer thing? I dunno, have you asked Kenne…

BUFFY stops mid word upon noticing WILLOWS worried glance towards TARA

BUFFY
I mean.. Have you seen any of the other slayers around? I mean there are a few of them these days…

TARA
Buffy it’s OK. Willow, don’t worry. I told you, I understand.. I mean, it was the apocalypse, she had a pierced tongue and I was dead.. And I know you still love me

WILLOW
Of course, always have, always will.. again, if I could make an expression it would be a slightly freaked out, yet loving one

TARA
I know

XANDER and ANYA enter the room cheerfully.

XANDER
Hey gang, what’s news?

WILLOW slightly irritated in a panicked, cute sort of way
What’s news? What’s news?! Xander! I take it you wake up feeling stiff every morning?

ANYA
He does, but usually only in a good sex sort of way..

EVERYONE
ANYA!

TARA
Well you two seem to have sorted out that whole ‘being left at the altar thing’.. What else did I miss while I was dead?

BUFFY
Spike and Anya died stopping the apocalypse.

TARA
What?! Anya doesn’t look very dead?!

TARA looks at WILLOW

TARA
You didn’t tell me this?

WILLOW
Well.. We were sorta busy.. Besides, thanks to the whole ‘good deed’ thing and the soul and what not..

TARA
Spike has a what?!

WILLOW
A soul, freaked me out too. Anyway, the Powers That Be brought them back as a human, never to be evil again. Kinda neat.

SPIKE
Yeah, it’s nice being human..

BUFFY
Spike? Why are you here?

SPIKE
Well that’s a friendly greeting. I came here ‘cos I thought it was rather odd that I woke up as a plastic toy! What the bleedin’ hell is going on here?!


WILLOW
I’m gonna take a stab in the dark and guess evil?

GILES
HeckDoorKenMouse!

ANYA
Uh oh, Giles is insane.. or possessed.. Perhaps it’s both this time? And what’s up with our voices?

GILES
I’d wager that the reason our voices sound different is that we’re now made of plastic. And HeckDoorKenMouse is the name of the demon.

BUFFY
Well that was easy to find

XANDER
What? No research? This feels like cheating… Can we start cheating more often?

GILES
I wouldn’t start feeling all happy just yet. This HeckDoorKenMouse is rather a vicious creature.

BUFFY
Really?

GILES
Well.. No.. But he is rather irritating and dangerous.

BUFFY
What does it do and how do I kill it?

GILES
Well.. The HeckDoorKenMouse goes to towns that are rich with mystical energy and turns everyone into action figures.

XANDER
I kinda worked that one out already when I had no hip movement and was wearing a stiff suit.. what’s with that anyway?



GILES
Well, it turns you into a figure from a major time in your life, you seem to be wearing the outfit from when you went to Halloween dressed as a waiter.

XANDER
Hey! I was James bond?

GILES
You? Bond? You’re no Sean Connery!

XANDER
No, I was more of a Timothy Dalton type.

GILES
That would explain why you were easily lost…

BUFFY
Guys, guys can we focus here? Evil is brewing and the only way I can change any of my outfit is by having my arms changed and my jacket removed, really not a great look.

SPIKE
You have interchangeable arms?

BUFFY
It’s a thing..

GILES
Anyway, HecDoorKenMouse, or Hec, as he is more commonly known, makes action figures based on the momentous occasions in peoples lives, waits for the doubles to kill each other, packages up the plastic corpses and then sells them on ebay.

ANYA
Eww..

WILLOW
Wait.. doubles?

GILES
Yes, he makes multiples of each person depending on the number of changes they’ve gone through in their life. The person themself turns into the persona they feel most like at the time and the rest are put into storage while they convert the energy caused by the persons panic at becoming a toy into life energy, then once they have enough energy they wake up and seek to kill the other thems..

XANDER
So somewhere out there there are other us's? like.. demon Anya and wedding Anya..

GILES
Yes

WILLOW
And they would be seeking to kill normal us?

GILES
From what I can gather, yes

BUFFY
What does this moose guy look like and how do I kill him?

GILES
HeckDoorKenMouse

BUFFY
Whatever

GILES
Well, Hec pretty much looks like a groom Ken doll with wire ears and tail and a button nose.

TARA
How cute

Everyone looks at Tara

TARA
In an evil sorta way…

GILES
To kill him, you have to get one of the doubles to remove his ears

WILLOW
w-wait, so we can’t just get the uber bendy slayer to do it?

ANYA
No, letting one of the people who know what’s going on do it would be too easy. The Powers like to have some fun when it comes to their more inventive demons.

WILLOW
Woah woah, so the doubles don’t know they’re doubles?

ANYA
They don’t know that they shouldn’t be action figures. They’re just look like us, they’re not us. And they are figures of action, hence the killing

WILLOW
Oh.

ANYA
But look at the upside, being plastic will mean that it won’t hurt when they snap us into tiny pieces.

XANDER
Anya!

ANYA
What?

XANDER
That’s an upside?

ANYA
It’s better than feeling everything in you break. I should know, I used to make people feel that all the time back in my demon days..

BUFFY
So where should we start to look for these clones?

GILES
Well Hec likes to hide his toys around the peoples houses in boxes and cupboards and places like that.

WILLOW
Even though we’re plastic, do we still have our powers?

TARA
Ooh, good question. Try to levitate something Will

WILLOW stares at some sort of object.. I’ll work out what on the day.. and it floats. Huzzah, she has her powers. How useful that now killing this demon will be faster and thussly take up far less screen time than if it had to be fully animated with flailing limbs and what not.

WILLOW
Yay. Giles, will our copies have the same powers as us?

GILES
I’m not sure, it doesn’t say.. Anya?

ANYA
Yes. Although they’re not us, they’re still based on momentous things in our lives and I’m gonna take a guess and assume that your going completely evil and trying to end the world would count as a momentous thingy.

WILLOW
Yes, let’s all bring up those painful memories as often as possible.

ANYA
Well it’s true.

WILLOW
Ok, I have a plan..

-END ACT TWO-


-ACT THREE-

INT WILLOW AND TARAS ROOM/HOUSE/THING
WILLOW, TARA, ANYA, SPIKE and BUFFY are looking in cupboards, wardrobes and what not. BUFFY opens a wardrobe and finds a whole heap of WILLOWS and TARAS, mostly WILLOWS.

BUFFY
Hey guys! Over here!

TARA
Wow, I thought we had already come out of the closet..

SPIKE
Well I spose one of us had to make that joke.. I didn’t think it would be you though..

WILLOW
My girl is full of suprises..

WILLOW and TARA kinda attempt to hold hands.. doesn’t go well..

BUFFY
Well, ok.. shall we try to wake one of them up.. If so, which one?

WILLOW
I vote we don’t wake up vampire me

TARA
I dunno.. I’m kinda digging the corset

WILLOW
Vixen!

ANYA
How about the giant fuzzy looking one? What on earth were you thinking wearing that anyway?

WILLOW
I was young.. And do we really want that me? She kinda sucked at the whole magic thing what with the accidentally bringing an evil me from an alternate universe thing..


TARA
What about the one with the black eyes? She looks like she has a lot of power without being too evil?

SPIKE
Now this might sound like a crazy suggestion.. But what about the white witch one? You know, the really really really powerful and totally non-evil one? Waking that one is less likely to come back and bite us in the arse and kill normal red over here.

WILLOW
Yes, the one that doesn’t involve me dying sounds like fun

TARA
My vote is with that one too

BUFFY
Ok, now for the tricky part Will. Try and freak out about being plastic, but in a focussed way.

WILLOW
Got it.

WILLOW makes various sounds of freaking out
WHITE WITCH WILLOW wakes up and magically moves towards the others.

WHITE WITCH WILLOW
What’s going on? Is it the first?

WILLOW
No, not the first, but there is evil and we need your help to fight it

WHITE WITCH WILLOW
Well, seeing as I have overcome my odd instinct to kill you, I shall listen, what do you need me to do?

BUFFY
Well..

-END ACT THREE-


-ACT FOUR-
WHITE WITCH WILLOW, WILLOW, TARA, BUFFY, SPIKE and ANYA are all in a hallway/office type thing.. somewhere with a lino or tiled floor.

WILLOW
Ok, so do you remember what we told you you had to do?

WHITE WITCH WILLOW
I do, you must go, if you are here when he is defeated, we may be put into the wrong bodies and I know how much you hate having your hair change colour.

BUFFY
How will we know when it works?

WHITE WITCH WILOW
The air will ironize..

ANYA
Huh?

WHITE WITCH WILLOW
You’ll know. Now go back to Giles place before Hec gets back.

SPIKE
How did you birds know he would be here anyway?

TARA
We used that spell to find demons, surprisingly useful.

Footsteps can be heard in the distance, the strange scuffing footsteps of a person who can’t bend their knees…

WHITE WITCH WILLOW
He’s coming, quick! Go to Giles, I can hold him off for a while.

WILLOW
Good luck

The Scoobies leave just in time. After they have disappeared, Hec comes in the room.

-END ACT FOUR-


-ACT FIVE-

HECKDOORKENMOUSE and WHITE WITCH WILLOW face off in the place of lino

HECKDOORKENMOUSE
Why are you here and not out killing your double, diamond select toys exclusive white witch willow, international edition?

WHITE WITCH WILLOW
Because, thanks to your crappy workmanship, I only have 4 points of articulation.

HECKDOORKENMOUSE
Oh..

WHITE WTCH WILLOW
That, and I’m here to kill you.

HECKDOORKENMOUSE
BAHAHAHA, you cannot defeat me! I have a power seller rating and 98% good feedback! You cannot possibly be able to defeat someone who always has the rarest and most collectable figures money can buy!

WHITE WITCH WILLOW
Oh yeah? Feedback this! De costumeize!

HECKDOORKENMOUSE
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

HECKDOORKENMOUSES ears magically disappear and he falls to the ground, just another groom ken doll with screwed up hair.

INSERT: actual shot of WHITE WITCH WILLOW collapsing in ‘CHOSEN

WHITE WITCH WILLOW
hehe that was nifty!

INSERT: actual shot of Scoobies from ‘The I in Team’

WILLOW
Did it work? Did the air ironize?

GILES
I'd venture yes..

-END ACT FIVE-

ROLL END CREDITS

[Tonto]

Yay! I love your script. It was so lighthearted and funny....I was rolling on the floor the whole time!

TARA
How cute

Everyone looks at Tara

TARA
In an evil sorta way…

That was soooo Tara.

Got anymore scripts you'd like to share with us?

[Alicepire]

Thanks Tonto I hope to soon have more scripts.. soonish..

[NeTGiRL]

WOW

I love it! the whole thing's just soo hilarious.. and they're still in character.. and the story, very unique. Will you write some more?

mooooooooooorrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee!!!

Kirstin

[Roger Doger]

This would definitely make a good, small video short, especially if you take your time with it and remember to have lots of fun! The script captures the characters.

[Krokador]

hehe, that was a good laugh. Maybe a bit short, but that's just me (I like it when theres lotsa lotsa lotsa WT action).

Hope to read some other stuff from you in the future

[Pinocchio1940]

This is neat...Since they are toys, I wonder if they meet any other action figures. Interesting...

[DaddyCatALSO]

I've often mulled over doing something where the gnag's minds are transfreed into their action figures and all I cna say is this is a bout three hells better than anything I would have come up with if I'd lived to be two hundred! Gad, too bad I can only read these at work and can't chuckle out loud..

[Alicepire]

Thanks guys
I finished filming it, turns out that my vocation in life is to be anything but a film maker.. it sucked... like really sucked... editing skills.. not so much.
But I kinda feel like writing more of season 8. like working out why the hell buffy would use a reality changing wish to resurect someone after having such a bitch of a time being resurected herself. that seemed like a bit of a hole. and why the hell would the powers that be bring back anya and spike just cos they carked it saving the world? they killed bajillions of people and are really old... those would be fun plot holes to write my way out of.. however I can't be bothed being so serious.
So I think I might skip straight to ep 8.17.. perhaps ethan rayne will bewitch kitchen sinks so that they contain the souls of characters from pride and prejudice and when Mr Darcy finds out how he was butchered by Colin Firth he goes on a killing spree... or perhaps the mysterious demon clortoth will go around breaking peoples glasses... or maybe a secret government agency teams up with sony music to put backing tracks on delta goodrem CDs that make peoples heads explode and the scoobies have to team up with josie and the pussycats to save the world. that could pave the way for a hilarious scene where Willow gets jealous of Tara looking at Josie.. I shall think further on it..

[Emms]

I must say your scrip was a pretty funny, bit two dimensional read. I enjoyed it immensely. It's actually strange because I'm usually not too much into script'ish stories (even the best among them) but this I actually liked. My favorite part being when they tried to hold hands, but it didn't quite work out. Very light. Very amusing. Very nice, indeed.

xoxo
Emms

[lostguardian]

very great thank you i needed a good laugh... really needed a good laugh.

[Knock yourself out]

I thought this was clever and funny. I would like to see the video even if you think it sucks - the script was good so how bad can it be?

[Alicepire]

Hmm.. I might see if there is a way to upload it somewhere.. but it really truely does suck.. poorly mixed radio with faces...

'til I can think properly about the rest of season 8, here is how I think seeing red should have ended..

WILLOW: Hey look! Clothes

TARA: Better not get used to them.

WILLOW: Yes ma’am

-WILLOW and TARA KISS-

TARA: Xander!

WILLOW: OK, not the response I was looking for.

TARA: No he’s here. In the garden with Buffy.

WILLOW: Do you think they’re making up?

TARA: I hope so, that’s the best part.

-TARA smiles goofily. And, satisfied with the end of the scene, walks off the set and over to the snack table. WILLOW soon joins her, script in hand.-

WILLOW: OK, so that’s all the lines we have until..

-WILLOW squints at the page and tilts her head. TARA walks over to read over WILLOWS shoulder-

TARA: What is it?

-mumbles as though reading out loud-

TARA: gun shot, splatter, your shirt… WHAT!? They’re killing me? Fuck that for a joke.

WILLOW: So, you get the reason for the squint and tilt now eh! What in the name of Murray is going on here?!

TARA: STEVEN S. DEKNIGHT! GET YOUR ARSE DOWN HERE!!

-A rather odd looking man with a hunchback limps onto the set. Think Manny in the third ep of Black Books-

STEVEN: Yes Tara?

TARA: Why the hell are you killing me?

STEVEN: We need Willow to be evil and kill things so she can ultimately find lame redemption in last 20 minutes of the last season.

WILLOW: Fuck that.

TARA: Find another way to make her evil dammit. Your idea is lame, not to mention highly traumatising.

WILLOW: ooh wait!!! I have an idea!!! I’ll be right back.

-WILLOW runs off-

-5 minutes pass-

TARA: So.. How about those Nicks eh..

STEVEN: Yeah, they’re having quite the season!

TARA: What sport do they play again?

STEVEN: damned if I know

TARA: yeah.. but great season..

-WILLOW returns with two shovels, whispers something to TARA and then hands her one of the shovels-

WILLOW: Hey Steven, come on set for a minute, we wanna improv another way of having evil Willow without killing Tara.

STEVEN: OK.

-STEVEN limps comically over to the window, WILLOW and TARA walk calmly over, shovels in hand.-

WILLOW: Roll camera!!

-WILLOW and TARA then proceed to beat STEVEN to death with their shovels.-

TARA: I liked that

WILLOW: Yeah, much better than having you dead.

TARA: Yeah. Also, I found it oddly stress releasing.

WILLOW: Yeah. Beats PS2, that’s for sure.

TARA: Wanna see what’s on TV?

WILLOW: OK.

-WILLOW and TARA walk off hand in hand, forgetting to ask why their characters had suddenly changed dramatically.-

-THE END-



In case you can't tell.. I'm a bit bored..

[DaddyCatALSO]

What's this, blaming the instrument? trust me on this (I am a former NRA memeber) "Stevens don't kill characters, Josses kill characters."

PS It's still funny!

[Alicepire]

Yes, but I find Joss endearing (damn him and his hilarious toy story ways!) whereas I know nothing about Steven other than he killed Tara, so he gets beaten to death with a shovel. Joss will have his comeuppance soon though when the pride and prejudice kitchen sinks are terrorising sunnydale..

[Alicepire]

Wow. That seeing Red thing really does suck... That'll teach me to post at 3:30am.

Anyway. Here is ep 8.17. I still don't know how to center stuff.. so pretend that the indented stuff is centered...

• Title: Buffy The Vampire Slayer ep 8.17 – Office World (note: a more amusing and appropriate title will be given as soon as I think of one.. help is appreciated.. Needs to be stationary related.)
• Author: Alicepire.
• Feedback: Yes please! T’would be marvellous!
• Distribution: Anywhere at all, with credit and permission though.
• Spoilers: Well it sorta semi follows cannon up ‘til the end of season 7. So there will probably be some spoilery badness up ‘til then
• Rating: probably PG-13. Sorry guys, but I suck at smut.
• Pairing: W/T, probably Buffy/Spike… Maybe. And maybe some Xander/Anya. We’ll se how the mood takes me.
• Disclaimer: I know not what I do, I practise not what I preach and I own not Willow, Tara or any character featured in the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
• Summary: AU… Sort of, more will be revealed soon, but if I describe it now the somewhat predictable surprise will be ruined. Yes it is a reality-altering episode, right next to another reality altering episode. This probably explains why I write about TV, not for TV.
• Notes: I don’t like Dawn. So she may not exist. Plus I forgot to write her into ep 8.16. Whoops.
Also this is gonna be posted in bits, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
And yes, my grammar does suck. Apostrophes confuse the hell outta me.
Ooh ooh and I should probably say that this might end up being longer than an average Buffy script. But seeing as the first one was shorter, things will even out.
• Part: Previously and Teaser



Before we start the ep, we should do the “previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer” thing:

INT. ANGEL’S APARTMENT – MORNING

[blockquote]ANGEL
Not all your dreams come true Buffy.
What else did you dream last night?

BUFFY
That Giles and I opened an office supply warehouse in Vegas…[/blockquote]


INT. WILLOW AND TARAS ROOM AT THE OLD SUMMERS HOUSE

It’s from Seeing Red. It’s disturbing. Hence the lack of description.

[blockquote]TARA
Your shirt…[/blockquote]


INT. A DARK, DANK CAVE. - WHO KNOWS WHAT TIME IT IS

BUFFY is talking to a POWERS THAT BE GUY who has just appeared. There are many bodies strewn about, Buffy has obviously either recently averted an apocalypse, or gone postal.

[blockquote]POWERS THAT BE GUY
Congratulations Buffy! You have just averted your tenth apocalypse!
To reward you for your loyalty to the fighting of evil, we at the PTB
are pleased to tell you that you have earned one reality-altering wish!

BUFFY
And this means what exactly?

POWERS THAT BE GUY
Well basically you can wish for anything you like. You know, change
history, get shoes, turn someone into a chicken… Anyone you wish didn’t
die? Joan of Ark was a great chick, very chatty. Or you know, your mom,
that boyfriend of yours, Angel…[/blockquote]


INT. A ROOM SOMEWHERE.. COULD BE WILLOW’S ROOM AT THE NEW AND IMPROVED SUMMERS HOUSE – PROBABLY EARLY EVENING


[blockquote]BUFFY (VO)
I know who I want to bring back…[/blockquote]

WILLOW is sitting on the bed looking at BUFFY as though she has just grown several extra heads and then done backflips while singing about how much she loves George Bush. To paraphrase, Buffy has said something, Willow looks confused. But hopefully confused, so scratch that comment about George Bush.
Anyway, Buffy stands aside and holey crap! Who should be standing behind her? It’s TARA! Newly back from the dead and very happy to see Willow. Much kissing occurs, Buffy leaves discreetly.


INT. DARK, DANK CAVE. – SAME TIME AS BEFORE

BUFFY is still talking to POWERS THAT BE GUY. It’s obviously a bit later in the conversation.


[blockquote]POWERS THAT BE GUY
Oh yeah, speaking of rewarding the averting of apocalypse’s with resurrections...

BUFFY
Yeah?

POWERS THAT BE GUY
Despite the fact that it makes no sense, seeing as they were evil for 100’s of
years, we’ve decided to bring back your friends Spike and Anya too. But they
can’t turn evil again, they need to try and stay human this time. [/blockquote]





-TEASER-

EXT. PARKING LOT OUT THE FRONT OF AN OFFICE SUPPLY WAREHOUSE IN VEGAS– DAY

A big shot of a huge office supply warehouse with a big sign out the front saying ‘OFFICE WORLD. “THE WORLD IN THE PALM OF YOUR OFFICE” GRAND OPENING!’ It might be good if somewhere near the warehouse there was something that said ‘Las Vegas’ on it.
Lot’s of people are going in and out. Many of the people leaving have computers and stationary in huge bags, or shopping trolleys.
Next to the warehouse we see a little shop that looks positively minute in comparison. It looks very new-agey. It seems to be some sort of magic shop, hippy shop and gallery all in one.


INT. OFFICE WORLD – SAME DAY

Inside the warehouse there are many giant aisles. We follow Buffy who is walking purposely down the middle of the store (you know how sometimes in really big shops, in the middle of the aisles there is a big corridor sort of thing going down the middle going horizontally so you can change aisles without having to go to the very end?) with an average young woman. As we follow her we get a good idea of what they sell. There is a lot of stationery, some potted mini palm trees, computers and related equipment, desks, bookshelves, chairs, books, snacks and other related miscellany. We also hear little grabs of conversation:

[blockquote]ANYA
No, we don’t do bulk discounts. Well, we do.. But I don’t think we should

XANDER
If you don’t see anything you like, we also make
custom furniture for a very reasonable price.

WILLOW
I think we have more iBooks upstairs, let me just check. [/blockquote]

Finally we get to where we’re going. It’s the book section where Giles is. We can see that Giles' name tag says ‘Rupert, Manager’

[blockquote]BUFFY
Giles, this is Kate Miller, she is here to
finally hook up our phone system.

GILES
Ah, excellent. Right this way Ms Miller[/blockquote]

Giles and Kate walk off as we zoom in on Buffy’s name tag. It says ‘Buffy, Manager’

FADE TO BLACK

-END TEASER-

ROLL OPENING CREDITS. Like in ‘Superstar’ instead of the credits being their usual vamp and demon fighting selves, they’re mostly just average shots of the Scoobies working in Office World. Except for the shots of Tara and Spike. Tara is in her new-age shop and Spike is in his coat-and-rebellious-shiny-stuff shop (you know the sort of place. Many posters showing either dope leaves, skulls or vaguely threatening slogans. Lot’s of shiny cigarette lighters and long black leather coats). We will soon find out that Spike’s shop is across the road from Office World.






















edited 10/12/06 to say: Sorry the update is taking so long... I somehow landed a full time office job... my dream office job which has transformed me into a workaholic doing 10-14 hour days writing... So I haven't been feeling so awake to write. But I finish being full time in the office soon and start working from home slightly less full time in preparation for uni. So there should be an update then. til then I should go back to watching the last 11 eps of veronica mars that i have to watch so I can file my article tomorrow... *brain explodes*