First Fic: I Miss You

[guardian146]

Title – I Miss You

Author name – guardian146

Email Address – guardian146@msn.com

Rating – PG

Disclaimer – Ok I don’t own anything, wish I did but I don’t so don’t sue me, I don’t have much

Feedback- Yes, please, feedback would be appreciated

Summary – Pretty much it’s a letter that Willow writes to Tara, kinda set in the sixth season.

Notes – Ok this is my first fic I’m posting, this is what happens when you get really board in Calculus. Umm…If anyone is interested the song is from Blink 182’s new self-titled cd, its called I Miss You, hence the name of the fic. I’m a firm believer that most of season six and all of season seven didn’t happen but I got the song stuck in my head and this was the result.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Tara –



I can’t even begin to say how sorry I am. I know nothing I say will take away the pain that I caused. If you never see me again I will understand. I mean if I can’t forgive myself how can I expect you to forgive me. The truth is I don’t. I haven’t done any magick in a while now but I’m sure everyone else has been keeping you up to date. I see now what I was doing was destroying me and everyone else in the process and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt it was just so powerful and I felt useful, you know, like I could make a difference. I never thought that I would become its victim, that I, Willow Rosenberg, could ever fall prey to something like that. But I did, I fell and I fell hard.

Have you ever noticed that songs seem to be able to express what your feeling better then you ever could? I was listening to the radio the other day and this song came on. At first I wasn’t really listening to it you know, I was kinda doing the wallowing in self-pity thing, but I heard the last part of the song. It kept playing over and over again in my mind, until I realized that it explained how I felt. How everything is right now. So I thought maybe the lyrics would help you to understand too.



Where are you and I’m so sorry,

I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight,

I need somebody and always,

This sick strange darkness,

Comes creeping on so haunting every time,



And as I stared I counted,

Webs from all the spiders,

Catching things and eating their insides,

Like indecision to call you,

And hear you voice of treason,

Will you come home and stop this pain tonight,

Stop this pain tonight,



Don’t waste your time on me you’re already,

The voice inside my head (miss you miss you),

Don’t waste your time on me you’re already,

The voice inside my head (miss you miss you),



It dawned on me how true to my current situation it is. I want to call you and hear your voice, but I know I can’t. I also wish you could make all this pain inside me go away, but I know that you can’t do that for me, I must do it on my own. I want to ask for help, your help, but I’m sure I don’t deserve it or have the right to it. Not after everything I’ve done. Every night I relive what I did to you and I hear you trying to prevent me from going down the road I went. If I would have just stopped and listened would any of this happened? Your voice is always in my head, I can remember all the good things too, except then the things I did come back and I think to myself this can never be again. Not the way it was. I hurt too many people, you, Dawn, Buffy, but most of all you, my Tara, the one person I never wanted to hurt ever.

I’m not writing any of this to make you feel sorry for me and to come back to me, it’s just the opposite; I think you would be much better off with someone else. As much as it hurts me to say this I don’t want you to come back to me because of some guilt trip I pulled. You’re safer if you stay away. I just wanted to tell you how I’m doing and to maybe give you a clue into what’s going on inside my head. I miss you terribly and I still love you, always will. Even in my darkest moments I loved you. If you believe one thing I said believe that I loved you.



- Willow



If I get good response I might be convinced to write either Tara’s letter back to Willow or the result of her getting this letter.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm Dancing Like A Monkey!!! - GIR

Edited by: guardian146 at: 2/7/04 9:31 pm

[Paigeosity]

I dig it!

I fucking love that song. Reading the title I prayed that that was what you were referring to. Then it was and I did the happy dance of joy. I loved how remorseful Willow was. Like she felt she truly messed up. And the song helping her realize this...sweet. Bitter sweet maybe but sweet none the less.



The only thing (and it is truly minor...I'm just a weirdo) I would have changed is maybe putting the first verse in it. Just cause of the line : Where you can always find me.

And Willow saying that she would always find Tara...maybe I over think things a little.



In the end I liked it...get bored in Calculus more often okay?



Paige

[Doppelganger5x5]

aw dude i love that song!(im listening to it right now) And so far im likin' how you're writing how willow feels, and i hope you continue this story cuz its got my attention!

I hate everything about you,why do i love you,You hate everything about me, why do you love me~3 Days Grace

[xeembiote]

great start... continue please

[Aine]

continue? *puppy dog eyes*



Stacey

[guardian146]

Paigeosity - I'm glad you liked it. I was thinking about putting the first verse in but wasn't sure it quite fit what I was going for. Though I might work it into another part later on. Yeah I get bored in Calculus quite often, but don't worry if I don't get bored there is always Physics to get through....

Doppelganger5x5 - Thanks, when I first heard the song it reminded me a lot of how Willow must have felt during the last part of the sixth season and then I just couldn't get it out of my head.

xeembiote & Aine - I'm working on the second part right now hoping to have it done before the end of the weekend.



Thanks for the feedback, the next part is Tara's reaction to Willow's letter, should be done soon barring school work and the such.



~

I'm Dancing Like A Monkey!!! - GIR

[sam darls]

Hey, This is so amazing. It brought tears to my eyes..I'm hoping for more. I loved it. Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[guardian146]

Part Two – I Miss You

Disclaimer - I don’t own anything, wish I did, but I don’t. Therefore I’m just borrowing them for my amusement.

Notes – Umm…The songs of used through the course of this one if anyone wants to know are I Miss You – Blink 182 and One Year Six Months – Yellowcard. You should listen to the rest of the cds there really good….and the boardness continued….oh well at least I’m being semi-productive in class….just not in the way they want me to be…its all good….ENJOY!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Willow –



I received your letter and decided to write you back. I don’t hate you, never could. I was angry, yes, but it was never hate. You were the first person since my mother that I trusted and you took that trust away. Even after everything with Glory, you still messed with my mind and that hurt me. That the one person I trusted most of all was capable of doing what you did. And despite all that I forgive you.

I partly blame myself for your descent into dark magick. I keep thinking that if maybe if we had gone slower with the spells that we did or if I had stressed respecting the magick more that this might not have happened. Also I know on some level that it was because you saved me from the hell Glory had put me in, that made you access the dark magick to begin with. I stay awake some nights wondering if none of this would have happened if you had not saved me. Its not that I’m not glad that you did, because I am and I know that is selfish of me but it’s the way I feel. Its just that I hurt to see you destroy yourself.

I understand what you are going through and yes Dawn, Buffy, and everyone have been keeping me informed about you. I need you to know that I am proud of you. I know how difficult it has been for you to go from having all that power at your beck and call to not using it, but you know now that magick is not a game to play. It was a hard lesson to learn and I hate the way that you learned it. If I could make everything go away I would, but I won’t do it. It was a lesson that needed to be learned.

I never doubted your love for me, it was never in question. It wasn’t because I didn’t love you that I left; it was because I did love you. I couldn’t stand by and watch you destroy yourself. I knew that if I stayed you would never change; I would just be a crutch to fall back on.

You used that song to tell me how you feel and what’s going on in that busy head of yours but you forgot a verse, darling, the first one.



Hello there, the angel from my nightmare,

The shadow in the background of the morgue,

The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley,

We can live like Jack and Sally if we want,

Where you can always find me,

We’ll have Halloween on Christmas,

And in the night we’ll wish this never ends,

We’ll wish this never ends.



The part about where you can always find me, I will always find you it just might take awhile. I love you Will, I always will. Sometimes I wish that the night will never end and I will never wake from my dreams. You used a song to help me understand, so I use the same. I heard this the first time I felt your pain.



Sew this up with threads of reason and regret

So, I will not forget. I will not forget

How this felt one year six months ago

I know I cannot forget. I cannot forget



I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do

Follow me there

A beautiful somewhere

A place that I can share with you



I can tell that you don't know me anymore

It's easy to forget, sometimes we just forget

And being on this road is anything but sure

Maybe we'll forget, I hope we don't forget



I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do

Follow me there

A beautiful somewhere

A place that I can share with you



All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you

Memories of you

Memories of you

Memories of you



Every night I dream of those times when we were together, before all this mess. Some times it’s the only thing that gives me strength to carry on and I believe the same is true for you. I want those back. I want to trust you again, Willow, more then anything. How do you fix something that got so messed up? I wish I knew how to fix this.



- Tara



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



I'm Dancing Like A Monkey!!! - GIR

Edited by: guardian146 at: 2/6/04 10:13 pm

[eveningstar845]

Great update! More pls



Dee

[Doppelganger5x5]

I really loved that Yellowcard song you used. Yellowcard is my 2nd fav band of all time, so props to you for using their lyrics in your fic, it was awesome! But i also think that it was a very appropriate song for Tara to choose. Im really lovin' this story so far so update soon please!

I hate everything about you,why do i love you,You hate everything about me, why do you love me~3 Days Grace

[marciam]

Just wanted to add another "More soon please"



Marcia

[DarkChild]

"Even if in my darkest moments I loved you. If you believe one thing I said believe that I loved you."



I love that! It's soooo romantic.



See, I told u that i'd read your fic.

[LizPuRR]

this story is so sad, so far...

Please continue and get to some happy stuff eventually...but not too soon, I love a little angst here and there



LizPuRR!!

------------------

"That's right puppy, Willow's gonna make you bark."-yes please!!



Vamp Willow, The Wish

[guardian146]

I know its kinda sad right now but they have to work through all the baggage first then onto Willow/Tara goodness. I promise I'll get there eventually. I'm working on the next part unfortunately I have school work and pledging stuff i have to do, but I'm aiming for an update by the end of next week, if not before then. It depends on what i have going on.



DarkChild - I knew you would read it. Thanks for the support.



Ok I should get back to doing my Physics Lab homework, it just keeps stacking up. Thanks everyone for reading.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm Dancing Like A Monkey!!! - GIR

[The Rose24]

Writing for therapy is a good idea. I know they will find a way to work things out.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[guardian146]

Ok, I finally finished the third part. I had to rewrite it like 5 times to get it the way I wanted it. I know I'm too picky. Anywho I didn't intend for this fic to have so many songs in it but i seem to have all of these songs stuck in my head. And I keep thinking how they apply to Willow and Tara's relationship in one way or another. So I'm sorry, but blame the muse, if I don't do what she says I write crap.



~

All general disclaimers and stuff still apply, I don't own them just wish I did.

Notes: Again the song in this part is from Yellowcard its called Only One. So if you like these songs you should go see Yellowcard at this years Vans Warped Tour.

Part 3 –



Tara-



I can’t believe that you would think that any of what happened was your fault in any shape way or form. I take full responsibility for my actions and what my actions caused. I know I can never take back what I did to you, but I would like to try to make it up to you. Please come to the Bronze Friday night. Maybe we can learn how to fix this together.



- Willow



Clutching the letter in her hand, Tara rereads it one more time before entering the Bronze. It had taken her most of the week to decide whether to put her heart on the line again for Willow, but in the end she realized that she couldn’t protect something she didn’t have any more. Willow had her heart and always would. Walking through the door her blue eyes are scanning for the one person, who so long ago, had stolen her heart. Catching sight of Buffy, she walks over.



“Tara, hey, I’m supposed to tell you to sit here.” Buffy says as she walks over.



“Ok, do you know where Willow is? I was supposed to meet her”.



“She’ll be here in a few, so until then just sit back relax and enjoy the music”.



Tara sits there and starts to get nervous. She hasn’t seen Willow since she left a couple of months before. Even though they have communicated through letters, her heart flutters at the thought of actually seeing Willow. Soon the band stops playing and the singer address’s the audience.



“Ladies and Gentleman, we have a special guest singer today to help us with a song, please welcome Willow Rosenberg.”



Hearing Willow’s name called Tara gets out of her chair and starts walking towards the stage, eyes completely on the redhead in front of her. Willow in turn locks eyes with Tara. Green meets Blue and stays that way.



“I’m not the world’s best singer but I’m doing this to let someone know how I feel. So umm…here goes nothing.” With that Willow signals the band that she is ready, and the music starts.



Broken this fragile thing now

And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces

And I've thrown my words all around

But I can't, I can't give you a reason



I feel so broken up (so broken up)

And I give up (I give up)

I just want to tell you so you know



Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do

You are my only, my only one



Made my mistakes, let you down

And I can't, I can't hold on for too long

Ran my whole life in the ground

And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone



And something's breaking up (breaking up)

I feel like giving up (like giving up)

I won't walk out until you know



Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do

You are my only my only one



Here I go so dishonestly

Leave a note for you my only one

And I know you can see right through me

So let me go and you will find someone



Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one



With the end of the song Willow gets off the stage and walks to Tara. Standing in front of her, Willow tells Tara “I know I can never make things go back to the way they were but I would like to maybe try again, if you want. I‘ll completely understand if you don’t wanna and I’ll leave you alone if you tell me to, no questions asked and…” A single finger on her lips stops the stream of babble.



“Willow, breathe, I don’t want you to go away. If I didn’t want to see you I wouldn’t have come. I want to fix this, I’m just not sure how to.”



“Ummm…T-T-Tara” Stammers Willow, finding her shoes very interesting all of a sudden, “would you maybe like to go on a date with me?” This last part was said so quietly that Tara almost couldn’t make out what the redhead said.



To be continued.....



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm Dancing Like A Monkey!!! - GIR

[The Rose24]

Willow singing?



I am glad Willow and Tara are going to give it another shot.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[sam darls]

Wow..this is amazing so far..I love it so much. You have so much emotion running through it. Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

Edited by: sam darls at: 2/27/04 1:41 am

[guardian146]

Thanks for the feedback....it is always nice to know that someone appreciates the story....anyways i swear i'll update eventually, i just seem to be losing my mind, between school work, my job and pledging a fraternity i have no free time. Thank gods that spring break is soon or i might be writing this from a nice padded room. So as soon as my sanity returns or what passes for my sanity i will continue.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm Dancing Like A Monkey!!! - GIR

[TaraBaby77]

I can't believe that I have missed all of the awesome writing.... Oh please, for the love of computers and NASCAR (yeappers, I gotta be a male for saying that, heehee), can you post some more??? I love where this is going, good stuff. =)

Aaron

'TaraBaby77'

[guardian146]

OK its a small update but its all i have done right now. Real life has unfortunately made an appearance. So I'm a little behind. I'll try to finish the next part as soon as I can but I have school work I need to catch up on so no promises. Anyways on to the fic...



Part 4 of I Miss You.



Disclaimer - I don’t own anything, wish I did, but I don’t. Therefore I’m just borrowing them for my amusement.

Note - OK I know I didn't use any songs for this part. My brain kinda died, sorry.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



It took a second for Tara to realize what Willow had asked of her, but that second was long enough for all of Willow’s self-doubts to play on her mind.



“I mean you don’t have to go out with me if you don’t wanna. Its just I realized that in the time we’ve known each other we’ve never gone on an actual date date. We go out, I mean we went out, and stuff but never the whole show up on your doorstep and take you somewhere kinda out. And I’m totally ok if you don’t want to; I don’t wanna pressure you or anything its just I would really like to take you out sometime, if that’s all right?” All this was said with Willow still looking at her shoes.



A hand comes up and drags Willow face up. Her eyes meet Tara’s and her brain stops.



“Willow relax you never gave me a chance to answer.”



“Oh, sorry.” Willow says sheepishly



“I was going to say I would love to go out on a date with you. I want this to work out Willow, but this is the last chance. I won’t let myself be hurt like that again.”



“I know, and I am gonna make it up to you, I promise.”



“No promises, just do it, ok?”



“Ok”



“So this date….general time frame would be nice.”



“Oh yeah…um…next Friday. I’ll pick you up.”



“Ok” As Tara turns to leave she give Willow a Hug. “It was really good to see you again Willow”



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm Dancing like a Monkey!! - GIR

[TaraBaby77]

Awww. That was sweetie. Welp, Willow, here is your chance. Anyhoo, I like what you got going here. Thanks for the little update. Any update is a good update, heehee. Keep up the good work and hope to see an update soon. =)

Aaron

'TaraBaby77'

[guardian146]

Hey I got around to writing the next part and I'm in the process of working on the part after this. I just wanted to say thanks to people for the feedback, I really appreciate it, it makes my day better. So anyways I'm hoping to post the next part soon, but this week has really sucked, I spent all day yesterday at the hospital with a friend and bad things just seem to happen. But hopefully it will get better. Anywho on to the fic..



Part 5 -

Disclaimer - I don't own anything, I just wish I did, really really wish I did.

Note - I managed to add a song in, I know i'm pathetic, but I really love Yellowcard their the best and I get to see them in concert this weekend WOO HOO. I even got someone to Beta read this so now it should be better, I can only hope.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Oh my goddess. She said yes, she’s gonna go out with me. I have a chance, but what if I screw it up. I can’t screw it up this is the last chance I have to make things right to show her that I can change. I know I’m gonna screw this up. I have to be strong…I can do this its just dinner and a movie…no expectations…who am I kidding of course there’s gonna be expectations. Oh, what am I gonna wear…



Unbeknownst to Willow, Buffy has been standing at her door watching her have this conversation inside her head. To Buffy, Willow looks like a headless chicken running around in circles throughout the room.



I guess I better do the best friend thing and calm Willow down or she’s gonna give herself a heart attack.



“Willow….WILLOW”



“What” Willow turns around and stares at Buffy.



“Breathe ok; everything is going to be fine.”



“How do you know that? I mean I could screw up and then she’ll leave again. Buffy, I don’t think I could handle that.”



“Will, you’re gonna do fine. Just be yourself, be Willow.”



“Ok” Deep breath “I can do that”



“I know you can,” Buffy walks over and hugs Willow, “Everything is gonna work out you’ll see. I have a good feeling about this”



“Thanks Buffy” Willow pulls out of the embrace and sits on the bed.



“Hey what are best friends for.” Buffy starts to walk out of the room when she realizes she had a reason for coming in the first place. “Oh here I was supposed to give this to you.” Buffy hands Willow an envelope.



“What is it?”



“No clue, I just know it’s for you. I gotta go ok, but I promise everything will be all right. Don’t forget best friend privilege, I get to hear all about your date later.”



Buffy leaves and Willow is left alone with the envelope. It looks like every other envelope you would get but to Willow it is special. Her name is on the front written in a script that Willow knows well. Tara’s.





How am I supposed to feel?

About the things I've done

I don't know if I should stay

Or turn around and run

I know that I hurt you;

Things will never be the same

The only love I ever knew

I threw it all away





Shaking Willow opens the envelope and starts to read the letter contained inside…..



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

I'm dancing like a monkey!! - GIR

[sam darls]

Aww..those last two updates were so lovely. Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[ApplesauceHorsies]

This fic is so. gosh. darn. sweet---I mean, all with the reconciling, and awww, I hope they end up happy (They are so ending up happy, right?!)



The power of songs, I tell ya'. Wow. *sigh*

I'll be a patient and wait for the next update.

-AH

Et je saigne encore, tout ce rouge sur mon corps, je te blesse dans un dernier effort

[The girl who talks but do]

Quote:

---

Green meets Blue and stays that way.

---

I've just caught up with this fic and I love it! Can't wait for more!

love'n'hugs

cath

[TaraBaby77]

What a great update.... BUT, you meanie, heehee. I need more!!! I wanna know what's in the note... Can we at least get a hint... good or bad??? Please???? Anyway, keep up the great work. Really REALLY hope to see more soon. =)

Aaron

'TaraBaby77'

[guardian146]

I know, its a cliff hanger I'm sorry, but good news I'm working on the next part and hope to have it finished soon.



sam darls - Thanks I'm glad you like it.



ApplesauceHorsies - I know I get all these songs stuck in my head and I realized that sometimes they can explain things better then we can.



The girl who talks but doesn't - Thanks for the support.



TaraBaby77 - I'm a meanie....woo hoo...no really it wasn't intentional I just haven't gotten the other part finished yet and then I got to send it off to be beta read so hopefully I'll have it done by the end of this week. I don't think its anything bad though...good thoughts



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



I'm dancing like a monkey!!! - GIR





Hi floor make me a samwitch!!! - GIR

[guardian146]

Ok, I'm updating finally. Woo Hoo. Ok I don't know when I'm gonna be able to update after this I'm having issues with my roommate and school so when I get that all straightened out I'll get back to finishing this. Hope you enjoyed this part....as always feedback is very much appreciated as this way I know I'm not just wasting my time doing this. Anyways enough of my ramblings onwards....



Part 6 –

Disclaimer – Ok I don’t own anything, wish I did but I don’t so don’t sue me, I don’t have much



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Willow –



I gave this to Buffy to give to you. Right now I want you to take a deep breath and calm down. Tonight is going to be fine. Anything you wear will be perfect, so stop worrying.



- Tara



Ok, I can do that I can stop worrying. I’ll just pick something out of my closet and be done with it. Anything would be fine she said, but will it, is she just saying that. Deep breath Rosenberg, you’re babbling again. Ok…time to get dress…..



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Across town Tara is having her own jitters about the upcoming date.



“I can do this, its just Willow, you know the women you love. It’s just a date,” Tara tells her reflection, “No expectations just see how it goes.”



Taking a deep breath Tara walks over to her closet to pick out something to wear. Settling on a skirt and sweater number that Willow had always liked she sets about getting ready for her date that night with Willow.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



At seven o’clock Willow shows up at Tara’s dorm.



Ok Rosenberg, don’t screw this up. You love her, you know she still loves you, but you need to earn back her trust. You can do that just do what Buffy said be yourself.



After finishing her pep speech to herself, Willow knocks on Tara’s door. The door slowly opens to reveal Tara, looking as beautiful as ever. Willow releases her breath that she didn’t know she was holding.



“You look beautiful” Willow shyly tells Tara.



Tara replies in kind, “You look pretty good yourself”



“Are you sure its ok, I was sure, really, what to wear and I finally decided but then I was gonna change again, but Buffy threw me out the door…”



“Willow you look fine. Anyways I like that shirt on you it brings out the color of your eyes.”



“Oh good”



“So…lead on”



“Oh right dinner DUH, sorry”



The walk to the car and the drive to the restaurant was completed in an uncomfortable silence, neither girl knowing what to say to the other. Willow had decided to take Tara to this little Italian restaurant not too far from the movie theater that she knew of.



After they we’re seated and had ordered their food, the silence still stretched on. Willow wanted to say something but was afraid of scaring the blonde away. After several minutes of internal debate she decided the hell with it.



“I missed you,” Willow started the conversation with, “and I’m sorry. I know that you can never really forgive me, I just wanted you to know that, to tell you that in person.”



“Willow, I’m just trying to understand why,” Tara added, “I mean did the m-magic mean that much more to you then I-I-I d-did.”



Willow heard Tara’s stutter and cringed inside, because she knew that she was the cause of all the hurt and suffering that Tara was going through.



“No, goddess, no.”



“Then why, Willow, why couldn’t you do what I asked, why couldn’t you give up the magic for a week.”



Willow was quite for awhile trying to get her thoughts in order. She knew she needed to tell Tara this if she ever wanted the blonde to trust her again, but she didn’t have to like it.



“It’s just with the magic I could be useful, I could help with the slaying and it brought you to me. I was afraid you shouldn’t like who I was before without the magic, that you wouldn’t like old geek Willow.” Willow finally spat out.



Tara sat still for a minute processing what Willow had just reveled. Oh goddess, she thinks that the only reason I loved her was because of the magic, but it wasn’t. Her worst fear was that I would leave her like Oz had done and I guess I made her fears come true. Doesn’t she know that I love her for who she is…While, Tara was thinking Willow kept on talking.



“I mean, seriously why would you ever go out with me if it wasn’t for the power of our magic’s, I was a nobody, just some sidekick who nine times out of ten had to be rescued. What would a goddess like you ever see in me?”



Tara interrupts Willow disparaging remarks about herself when she realizes what the redhead was saying.



“Willow, I never loved you because of the magic, yes we met because of it, but I always thought, no I know we would have met some other way. You are the other half of me. I loved all of you, hacker Willow, the Willow who would comfort me, insecure Willow, and yes even old geek Willow.”



“Really?”



“Yes, really.”



“Umm...Yippie”



The rest of the dinner was spent making small talk, relearning about each others lives and generally having a good time.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm dancing like a monkey!!! - GIR

MONKEYS - Ian: MacHall

Edited by: guardian146  at: 4/20/04 1:40 pm

[sam darls]

Awww..yes, I definitel enjoyed this update, so lovely. I hope everything is okay. Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)