Okay...I've been a lurker for long enough...an entire year...and I just finally got the guts to do this. So, I KNOW how wonderful you all are...feel like I know half of you. Okay, delaying the inevitable. Here goes nothing...not great, but its what I am.
Title: Lost & Found - Part 1
Author: Jessan
Feedback: Yes, bring it on...I can tak it. Sniff. LOL
Summary: Two witches going in different directions...for the moment
Spoiler Warning: Up to and including "Wrecked" in Season 6.
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me...no copyright infringement intended. Joss is my God. All hail the glorious one. (It just called out to me.)
Rating: PG
Notes: Everyone will be running into each other eventually...all our favorite pairs are in the mix...
It was a cool Winter morning in Sunnydale. Willow wakled up on the porch of the Summer’s house with her arms full of groceries. As she was fumbling, trying to get her keys, the door suddenly burst open. Two opposing forces separated only by a single bag of groceries. The food lost the battle. ‘It’s really incredible how many words can flash in your mind in a split second, but never come out your mouth.’ Willow thought. As she stared dumbfounded at the fallen food and tried to figure out what to say to the teenager. Willow didn’t think the word sorry had any meaning left to it.
“Aw geez….um, sorry Willow.” Dawn apologized looking down at the porch which was now littered with fruits and vegetables. She silently knelt down and started collecting the assorted veggies with her one free hand.
Willow looked at her with a smile full of sadness. ‘If this is what it takes for you to talk to me…I’ll do the shopping more often.’ Willow bent down next to her and placed her hand on top of the young girls. “It’s okay Dawnie. It’s my fault really. I shouldn‘t have tried out my circus act at the front door. Juggling stuff.” Willow explained while she reached for an orange. She looked up at Dawn waiting to see if the girl would respond to her or not.
Whipping her hand away from Willow like she had been burned, Dawn glared at the hacker. “Maybe if you had a clue what your priorities should be, you wouldn’t have that problem.” she told Willow as she dropped the last fallen fruit in the bag and stormed off in the direction of Marcy’s.
Willow stood up crossing her arms over her chest. ‘Yeah, that went well.’ She looked down at the groceries and then back to the now open door. ‘Maybe Buffy’ll be in a friendlier type mood.’ she hoped. With that, she picked up the bag and ventured into the house kicking the door closed behind her.
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As Willow walked into the dining room, she could hear Buffy on the phone in the kitchen. She didn’t plan to eavesdrop, it just happened. The hacker heard the name ‘Tara’ and she was rooted in place. She didn’t want to walk in on a private conversation and put groceries away. Then again, maybe she could preoccupy herself waiting for Buffy to get off the phone. Willow set the bag on the table and decided to sit down at her laptop. At the end of the table. The one near the hall to the kitchen. ‘Pretending that I have work to do on my computer.’ Willow shook her head at her own idiocy. ‘I am so lame.’ she thought. She fired up her laptop while gazing towards the kitchen.
“Tara, I know you’re worried……...Believe me, so am I……..Dawn’s not making things any easier.” Buffy sat on the kitchen chair with the phone in one hand and a sandwich in the other. “I don’t know. Maybe. You should talk to her. She’s a better judge than I am.” A long silence followed.
Willow shook her head. ’I don’t think Tara is going to care to deeply about my opinions right now Buf.’ she thought.
Buffy took a bite of her sandwich and choked. “You’re going…..WHERE? Are you INSANE?” Buffy said slamming her fist down on the table. “You can’t. You won’t.” Suddenly, Buffy’s voice broke, “I won’t let you.”
Willow’s heart broke. She wanted so bad to make things right again, but she didn’t even know where to begin. ‘Buffy‘s needs a friend. Tara wants to get away. Dawn can’t stand to be near me. And its all my fault. I can’t take this anymore.’ Closing her laptop she rounded the corner and flew up the stairs to her room.
“When?“ Buffy asked grabbing a towel and wiping her eyes. “Promise me you’ll wait there until I get there. Please Tara.” Buffy’s voice cracked. “Please.” The slayer so rarely begged for anyone or anything. “I’m on my way.” With that, Buffy hung up the phone, grabbed her coat and headed to the front door. She never noticed the bag of groceries on the dining room table.
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Tara sat on her bed with the covers pulled up to her chest. She felt terrible. Ever since the accident, she felt she had let down everyone that mattered to her. She wasn’t there to help Willow fight against the magic. She wasn’t there to help protect Dawn. And she wasn’t there to take care of Buffy. Everyone she loved was falling apart, and she wasn’t there.
But she couldn’t be. No matter how much she loved them all. Especially her Willow. ‘She’s my heart. And right now its broken. I have to fix me, before I can help anyone else.’ she thought as she listened to Buffy talk about how things were going.
“Buffy, do you really think its safe to still have Willow in the house with Dawn? From the way she’s been talking about Willow, I think she might do something she’ll regret…..Scared to death is more like it.”
Miss Kitty jumped on the blonde’s stomach and started getting comfortable. MKF knew that something was wrong in the ‘people world’. Her mommies didn’t play with her like they used to. She looked up at Tara and gave a half-hearted ‘meow’.
“I know Will is trying to make things better, but there’s just so much pressure and….” she told Buffy as she stroked the kitten’s fur. Tara could feel the tears starting to well yet again. She was not going to cry again, she promised herself.
“Maybe we need to simplify things for her.” she said rubbing her temples.
“Do you think it’s getting any better?” she asked, while looking over at a picture on the desk. It was taken shortly after they had resurrected Buffy. It was taken just outside in the quad. Tara’s eyes wandered out the window. If the memories hurt her this bad, in a different room…she could only imagine what it was like for Willow to sleep every night in the bed they shared for 8 months.
“Maybe we need to lessen her load a l-little?” Tara bit her tongue. She didn’t want to play cat and mouse with the slayer of all people, but she couldn’t find the words to tell her what she had planned. “Look Buffy, she needs to concentrate on making things better at home. You know, with you and Dawn. And I c-can’t stop feeling her pain. It’s everywhere, in everything. She violated nature itself. I know what my heart wants, but I know what my soul needs. I can’t be here.” Tara’s voiced lowered as she finished her admission to the slayer.
Tara listened as the slayer coughed trying to breath again. Tara held her head in her hands as she somehow found a voice to explain to the slayer. “Home.”
Miss Kitty heard the shout over the phone and jumped off the blonde witch and ran for the closet. A tear ran down the witch’s face. “I have to and I am.” she told her friend. “It’s not your decision.“ she reminded the slyer. “S-soon.” she hoped that would be the end of the discussion.
Hearing the pleas of the slayer was taking its toll on Tara. There was just something about the Summer’s women. She couldn’t deny either one of them anything, especially if tears were involved. As usual, she relented. “I’ll be here.” she said as she heard the dial tone buzzing in her ear. She looked over at her suitcase sitting next to the desk. ‘So much for a nice quiet getaway’ she thought .
Tara stood and walked over to the closet and picked up miss kitty. She turned and looked at all the pictures of her ‘family‘ on her desk. “I’ll always be here for all of you.” she told an empty room and a frightened kitten.
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Willow buried her head into her pillow trying to shut out the world. She heard the front door slam. The tears came once again. It seemed, that’s all she could do anymore. She cried for hurting Dawn. She cried for bringing Buffy back. She cried for violating Tara. She cried for destroying everything that had ever meant anything to her. After several minutes, the sobs finally subsided. “I can’t let Tara do anything else she doesn’t want to do.” she said out loud, while she ran her hand down Tara’s pillow. “I gonna do this right yet baby, I promise. Somehow.”
She rolled off the bed and walked over to her desk. She grabbed a piece of stationary with kittens on it. ‘Ours’ she thought. She quickly scribbled a note and wrote Buffy’s name on it. She walked over and grabbed some clothes out of her closet and tossed them into a bag. “I think I have to find me this time Tara.” she said as she closed the bedroom door and headed down the stairs.
As she opened the front door, the phone rang. She looked toward the phone briefly, shook her head and headed out the door.
BEEP - “Hey Willow, it’s Xander. I just got this really frantic call from Buffy. She said that Tara‘s leaving. (mumbled) I can’t believe I just told the machine that. Anya and I are heading over there, if you want to join us, call my cell.”
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Oooo, Xander and Anya fun soon to come...and let me tell you...Anya has a thing or two to say to Tara.
Greetings Y'all...just a brief note...away for the week-end, but I will have the next part when I get back...I hope this entertains everyone...
Title: Lost & Found - Part 2
Author: Jessan
Feedback: Yes, bring it on...I can tak it. Sniff. LOL
Summary: Two witches going in different directions...for the moment
Spoiler Warning: Up to and including "Wrecked" in Season 6.
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me...no copyright infringement intended. Joss is my God. All hail the glorious one. (It just called out to me.)
Rating: PG-13 (Our ex-demon gets kinda ticked)
Notes: Everyone will be running into each other eventually...all our favorite pairs are in the mix...
Buffy pulled up in front of Marcy’s house and started frantically beeping the horn. ‘Come on Dawn. We don’t have time for this.’ she thought as she laid on the horn yet again. Finally, her sister emerged from Marcy’s ready to go. She ran up to the Jeep and jumped in.
“What’s going on? What’s wrong with Tara?” she asked as she closed the door. As Dawn shut the door, Buffy hit the gas. “Hello! Seatbelt! Three seconds to save a life, remember?” she reminded her sister of her own words not two days prior.
“Sorry.” she muttered as she changed lanes heading for campus. “I don’t know for sure if Tara is going to really wait for me or not.” she said as she passed a car driving too slow for her tastes in the fast lane. “Stupid drivers.” she muttered.
Dawn’s grip on the armrest tightened. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on? And why are you driving like a maniac?” Dawn stared at her sister. Buffy was actually sweating. Something was scaring her. If something had her sister this scared… “Buffy, is Tara okay?” she asked her voice heavy with worry.
Buffy came to a red light and looked at her sister with worried eyes. “Sorry Dawn. Tara is physically fine. We were talking and she told me she was leaving. She said she was going home, today, and I made her promise not to leave before I got there.” she explained grabbing the steering wheel tight enough to show the white on her knuckles.
Dawn faced paled. “No! She can’t leave us.” she said as her voice started to break. “Buffy, I can’t lose her too. “ she said as her eyes filled with tears.
Buffy put a hand on her sister’s cheek and tried to put on a game face. “No one is leaving. We’re here. We’re a family.“ she smiled and squeezed her sister’s hand.
A tear ran down Dawn’s cheek. “Buffy?” Buffy‘s heart was breaking. “Drive faster.” she simply said. “Please.” With that, the slayer floored it away from the red light.
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Anya got in the car at The Magic Box with an annoyed look on her face. “What’s the emergency? It had better be good since you said I had to close the shop to help.” she said with an accusing tone.
Xander thought about Anya’s relationship with Tara. They had become the wives of the group. Not so much a part of things because they wanted to be, but because they were pushed into it. Due to the nature of the group, it was only natural that Tara and Anya had bonded in their own unique way. Which is kind of ironic considering how much she disliked Willow. “Buffy talked to Tara. She’s leaving.”
Anya’s face took on a totally blank expression, then hardened considerably. “The hell she is. I’ll curse Willow myself.” she said matter of fatly.
‘Ut oh.’ Xander thought as he looked at his fiancé. “Anya, you can’t mean that. Willow’s been off the juice for 10 days now and…” his thought was harshly interrupted.
“Don’t you DARE make excuses for that lying witch. Tara is always the one taking the beatings around here. There was that goofy Jonathan monster, her family, Glory, and finally from Willow’s own hand. What she did to Tara was inexcusable. And if you think I am just gonna let your old flame drive away my best friend, you‘ve got another thought coming mister.” she warned him crossing her arms and looking out the window.
Xander tried to take all this in. He had never seen Anya get that upset about anyone, well except him. And even then, it’s about her possessive streak. He sighed. This would be yet another nail in his coffin if Tara left. Could he marry someone who truly hated his best friend? “An, this is Tara’s decision. She has to do what’s best for her.” he said pulling into one of the parking lots on campus.
Anya’s eyes clouded in even more anger. “You want her gone, don’t you?“ Anya got out of the car and slammed the door. “I was D’Hoffryn’s favorite for a reason Xander. Don’t forget that.” she said as she hurried towards Tara’s dorm.
“That’s it. Not going to piss off the ex-demon anymore. Ever. Anya right. Xander wrong.” he muttered to himself. ‘Feels like we’re already married.‘ He grabbed his cell and called Buffy’s house to see if Will had gotten home yet.
Beep - “Willow, Xander again. Do me a favor, if you love me at all…please come to Tara’s dorm immediately. I…We have to fix this. Soon. I don‘t wanna meet D‘Hoffryn until our wedding.” he finished his message and headed into the dorm.
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The knock on Tara’s door surprised her. She knew Buffy would hurry, but she had no idea that she would be there in under ten minutes. The blonde witch checked the eyehole and let out an exasperated sigh when she saw not one but two Summers standing on the other side. She reached for the door and prayed to the goddess to get her thru the next few minutes without turning into a blubbering wreck.
When the door opened, the younger Summers threw herself into the arms of the blonde wiccan. “You can’t leave me.” she said as she began to cry again. Tara pulled the young girl over to the bed and softly stroked her hair as she kept repeating over and over, “It’ll be ok.”
Buffy came inside and closed the door behind her. After giving her sister a few minutes of cuddle time with her adopted mother, Buffy spoke up. “Tara, you can’t go. We need you here. We took it hard enough when you moved out of the house.” as Buffy spoke she slowly made her way to the other side of Tara and wrapped her arm around the witch’s waist. “We rely on you. Let’s face it, you’re more motherly than I ever will be and” she paused. “I need someone like that in my life. After Giles left, I know why he left, but this is different. I need you.” She looked over at her sister still crying in the blonde’s arms. “We both need you.” Her voice softened. “We both love you.”
Tara tried desperately to swallow the lump in her throat. “B-buffy,” she silenced herself in an attempt to will her stutter away for the moment. “You have to understand. You and Dawn are the younger sisters I never had and always wanted. If I could make everything right with Willow and come back to the house tomorrow, I would. But its not that simple.” she paused to put a brief kiss on the top of Dawn’s head. “Its about healing. It’s not about running away from family or responsibility. Before I can make peace with everyone else’s demons, I have to f-find peace with my own.”
Buffy shook her head. “Family stand by each other. We can help you, like you’ve been helping us.”
Tara took a deep breath. “Buffy, we both have our ‘out of this world’ issues, but you never lost your mind. You always knew what was happening to you. What would you do if Dawn tried to take away all your memories of your mother?”
Dawn stiffened at the question, while Buffy’s eyes shot wide open as she stood up. “That’s not even close to being the same thing Tara and you know it.”
Tara shook her head and released Dawn from her loving embrace to stand and face Buffy. “It is. And now you understand how I feel every time I see or think about anything having to do with Willow.” Tara placed her hands on the slayers shoulder’s. “And magic is my life. Without it, I have nothing.”
Buffy rolled her eyes as Whitney Houston suddenly started singing in her head.
Tara smiled and let out a small giggle at the look on the slayer’s face. “Um, you always did remind me of a bodyguard.“ she said with a have grin. Buffy let out a laugh and then fell into the wiccan’s embrace. Chuckles mixing with sniffles. Tara looked down at Dawn. “Guess this would be a bad time to say I’ll always love you, huh?”
Dawn looked at Tara with utter wonder. In spite of all her pain, there she was trying to make them laugh. “Would this be a good time to point out that I have no idea what you are talking about?” she said with a silly grin on her face.
Buffy let go of the blonde and grabbed her sides. “I can hear Giles now…inappropriate musical humor at a time like this? Ah yes. Perfect.”
Tara let the laughter wrap around her like a warm blanket. It had been so long. Three weeks at least. She sat down next to Dawn and wrapped her arm around the younger girl. “Whitney Houston starred in The Bodyguard with Kevin Costner…oh, about 10 years ago.”
Dawn rolled her eyes. “Hello. The monks added some general stuff, not the Internet Movie Database.”
This had a fresh round of laughter from all three of them.
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Anya pushed her head against the door. “They’re laughing! Making bad jokes about Whitney Houston. She wasn’t that bad. She was pretty happy when I had her husband arrested for drug possession. And then she turns around a few years later and gets into it herself. I mean, how stupid can a girl be? Honestly, there she was…” Xander stopped her rant by putting two fingers against her lips.
“You know I love story time, but did we really come here to stand in the hall?” Xander asked pulling his fingers away. He leaned down and gave his fiancé a soft kiss on the cheek. “Do you want me to wait out here?”
Anya nodded her head. “Take Dawn and Buffy somewhere to get a soda or food. I want to talk to Tara alone.” she told him as she knocked on the door.
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Buffy got up off the floor and answered the door. She was shocked to see Anya staring at her. “Hey An, where’s Xander?”
Anya stepped in the dorm room and pointed toward the door. “Actually, he said he was gonna go grab some food or something. Why don’t you guys go with him?” Dawn may have missed it, but Buffy caught the look in Anya’s eye.
“I had something at Mar…ow!” she said as her sister overzealously grabbed her arm. “Come on Dawn. I bet they have those dingdongs you love in the vending machine.” she said pushing her sister out the door where Xander was waiting.
“Come on. This is going take a little while.” he walked between the girls with his arms around both of them. “She’s not a very happy ex-demon.”
Dawn and Buffy glanced at each other. “Glad I’m not Willow right now.” Buffy mumbled.
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Ever since Buffy opened the door. Tara hadn’t said a word. She knew the ex-demon would be hurt the most by her leaving, well except for maybe Willow….but that was besides the point. ‘Willow. Where are you ?’ she wondered as she looked up and saw one pissed off ex-demon. “H-hi Anya.” she said in a small voice.
Anya walked over to the chair at the desk and sat down before looking at the blonde wiccan. “Were you even going to tell me?” she asked looking exasperated.
Tara nervously fussed with her hands. “I…I couldn’t say goodbye to you.” Tara looked at the floor again. “You were the only one who didn‘t stand by Willow.”
Anya shook her head. “And why the hell would I? She hurt you. You were her everything and in the end it wasn’t enough for her. She needed more than that. It’s wrong. I’ve disemboweled people for smaller grievances.” Anya stood and walked over to the bed and knelt before Tara. “Stop looking down. The answers aren’t there.”
Tara brought her head up slightly. Anya took a seat next to her on the bed. “What are you really afraid of?”
A single tear ran down Tara’s cheek. “Losing myself. It‘s the only thing left to lose.”
Anya was furious at that statement. “Are you BLIND? Or maybe DEAF? What did those two girls that just left here have to say to you? Something about loving you and not wanting to let you go? Maybe even a needing in there somewhere? Did you pay any attention?:”
Tara could only stare. “I…yes. I know.”
Anya shook her head as her arms gestured with every word. “So that’s it? Just walk away, doesn’t matter what anyone else says or thinks? You are NOT Willow’s girlfriend. You’re Tara Malay. Get used to it. And you are needed. Dawn and Buffy need a tender voice of reason. I need someone who likes my stories and always cares about what I think. Xander needs someone to point out when he’s pissing me off beyond belief. And Willow needs everything. But the bottom line is, what do YOU need?” she finally nailed her with the one question that she had been afraid to answer.
“I don’t know…”
“Bullshit. You know what you need, but you don’t want to admit what you need.” Anya leaned in real close and pinned Tara with an icy stare. “I’m calling D’Hoffryn. Someone needs to take care of this Willow problem of yours.”
Tara muttered something and Anya was pushed back slightly. She could tell it was the witch’s way of trying to gently push Anya away without facing her. “Oh no you don’t. I’m not going away. You won’t bat your eyes and work that wiccan charm on me. You won’t stand up for yourself, then I will.” she said as she turned and headed for the door.
Tara held up her hand and said, “Lock” As Anya reached for the door, it didn’t move. She whirled around to face Tara. “Magic. I see we are getting back to the root of the problem. Why not curse her? I know you could.”
Although Tara hardly ever got angry, Anya was definitely pushing her buttons. She stood up and rushed toward the ex-demon grabbing her arms and pinning her against the door. “What will it prove? That I can hurt her more? THAT’S NOT WHO I AM!” she said gently shaking as the pain and fear ran out of her. Despite everything, the one thing Tara wasn’t willing to give up was the one thing that Willow couldn’t have.
Anya looked at her with sympathetic eyes. “Who are you?”
Tara‘s eyes shined with unshed tears. Tears for herself and tears for Willow. “Tara MaClay. A born witch desperately in love with a magic addict.”
“See? It all comes down to the root of the problem.” Anya suddenly got that far off look. “I remember this one guy who would never admit how he felt…” she stopped when she felt the blonde reach for her hand and then pulled her into a big hug. Anya smiled at herself. “So, now that we found you, where do you think Willow is?”
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Ah well...I guess Anya gave away the whole point of the next update. However, I will point out that she is so NOT wearing a stripped sweater and tossle cap.
wondering...if 1 hour takes me 3 posts...how long is this fic gonna be again?
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Love will find a way.
Ok...long week-end is over and here's the next part as promised.
Title: Lost & Found - Part 3
Author: Jessan
Feedback: Yes, bring it on...I can take it. Sniff. LOL
Summary: Two witches going in different directions...for the moment
Spoiler Warning: Up to and including "Wrecked" in Season 6.
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me...no copyright infringement intended. Joss is my God. All hail the glorious one. (It just called out to me.)
Rating: PG
Notes: Everyone will be running into each other eventually...all our favorite pairs are in the mix...and some odd pairings as well.
Willow walked thru the cemetery. It was strange walking around one in the daylight. It just seemed morbid. ‘Who else can I turn to?’ She stopped at the door to Spike’s crypt and took a deep breath. ‘What do I have to lose?’ Without another thought she pushed open the door .
Spike’s crypt was dark. Of course being a vampire warranted such precautions. She looked around. The TV was off and the only sound was the hum of a small refrigerator. “Spike? Are you here?”
Spike was lying in the coffin enjoying a nice nap. He felt the presence a second before he heard the voice. “What the bloody hell?” He sat up ready for a confrontation. He was shocked to see the redhead looking sad and pathetic standing there with a bag. “What’re you doing here red?” he questioned as he climbed out of the coffin.
Willow looked at him and then suddenly wanted to be somewhere else. “Um, hi. I was just in the neighborhood. Yeah, I know what’s a girl like me doing in a crypt like this…I was just out looking for somewhere to go and then I was in the cemetery looking at your crypt, so I thought why not? I’ll stop in and say hi.” she rattled off while he stared at her.
Spike shook his head. ‘She’s babbling to me. Something’s up.’ He walked over to her hesitantly. “Need Big Bad to take care of something for you? I thought you didn’t swing that way anymore red.” he said mockingly.
Willow bowed her head. “Sorry. This was a stupid idea. I’ll just go.” She turned to walk away and the vampire was stunned. Although he didn’t particularly like red, she’d always been civil since Buffy’s death. He ran over to her and grabbed her arm.
“Wait a minute Red.” he looked at her eyes and could see he’d been crying. Ever since Buffy’s death he had made a promise to himself to protect what was hers. Willow definitely qualified. Good bad or indifferent, he loved the slayer. Therefore, some allowances had to be made to those she loved as well. When she started to shake, his first instinct was to run, since he knew what she was capable of, but he didn’t. “What’s wrong?”
Willow suddenly didn’t care if his chip malfunctioned and he bit her. Vampire or not, she grabbed onto him for dear life. “Spike. I can’t make it all stop. I’ve messed everything up. I don’t even know how to start fixing things. Dawn won’t talk to me. Buffy is ashamed of me. Tara hates me. I don’t know what to do.”
At first put off by the embrace, after a moment of her ramblings, he held her. “Red, so you made some mistakes. Did they actually tell you to sod off?” he questioned but didn’t let her go. He felt her shake her head into his chest. “Well then, what’s got you all hot and bothered? Niblet do something? Or did you have a spat with the slayer?” he slowly tried to get her to tell him what was bothering her so.
A cold chill ran thru her body. She wasn’t sure if it was from the cool winter air or the fact that she was being held by a dead man, but it really didn’t matter. “Tara’s leaving.”
That woke Spike up. “She’s WHAT? Rot. She wouldn’t leave.” he pulled her away from him so he could look at her face. “She loves you.”
Spike’s statement only caused more tears to flow. “She is. She can’t be around me. And its my own fault. I messed everything up.”
Spike gently led her over to a chair. Now he knew why he was willing to do this. More than the fact that he loved the slayer, he LIKED Tara. She was an odd sort, but she was a good person. Anyone could see that, even an evil soul like himself. And he knew, if she loved someone, it was for a good reason. “Someone like Blondie doesn’t stop loving Red. She might be off track right now, but she still loves you.”
She stood suddenly. “What does everyone keep telling me that but her?” she shouted throwing her hands in the air. “She can’t stand to be in the same room as me. How am I even supposed to try and make things better?”
Spike reached into his pocket and grabbed a smoke. He put it in his mouth and started to dig for his lighter. “You put yourself in her shoes lately Red?” She stared blankly at him. “How do you feel when you think of her?”
She turned away from him. “I hurt because of the pain I caused her.” she said hearing the click of a lighter. “I’m sorry she ever came into my life because of everything I’ve done to her.”
Spike inhaled from his cigarette and regarded the redhead. She was seeing everything from her own point of view, but not anyone else’s. “And what was the one thing that happened that started this whole mess?”
Willow looked down at her feet thinking about Spike’s words. “Magic.”
Spike took another drag and then walked over to her. He put a hand under her chin and lifted it to look him in the eye. “No. That was the means. She’s what started this whole mess.” Willow tried to interrupt, but Spike pushed on. “You loved her so much, the thought of losing her drove you to do things that you wouldn’t have done otherwise. That’s why you dabbled in the black arts in the first place. And as for the little forget me not, that was because she wanted you to give up your one source of protection for her. To you, it was a question of keeping her safe or giving up the big guns. You chose the wrong one. That’s all there is to it.”
Willow couldn’t believe how perceptive the vampire was. ‘I guess being alive for a century or two does give you a little wisdom after all.’ She shook the thought out of her head. “What was I supposed to do? Let her go?”
Spike shook his head and walked away from her taking another drag. “It’s a vicious circle Red, that’s the whole point. You can look at it both ways and the answer is still the same. You both screwed up. It’s not a matter of who got screwed more.” He turned and looked at her shaking body. “Who does she blame for the whole Glory mind suck deal?” she gently prodded.
Willow‘s eyes dropped to the floor again. “Herself.” she whispered.
“See what I mean?“ Yet another drag of his smoke and he pressed forward. ”Do you love her?”
Willow’s eyes shot wide. “Of course I do. With all my heart. She’s my everything, or she was. I would do anything for her, or I would if she would give me the chance…”
Spike chuckled. “Why are you giving up magic?”
Willow’s voice sounded hollow. “For her.”
Spike walked over to her and slapped her on the arm. “No. Wrong answer. She’s a born witch, why would she want you to give up something that means so much to her? Try again. Why are you giving up magic?” he pushed again.
Willow’s voice got weaker. “Because I can’t with what I‘ve become.”
Spike pointed a finger at her nose. “Now you’ve got it. It’s about you, not her. What’s wrong with the way your living right now?” he prodded like a therapist trying to get a patient to see his point without telling it to them himself.
“I have nothing to live for. No friends, no family, no Tara.” she said in a defeated tone.
Spike took a final drag and flicked his smoke toward the wall. “That’s the thing about magic. There’s always consequences. So, you had everything, then after the magic, you had nothing. So you quit the juice and get your life back, pretty simple.” he told her matter-of-factly looking out the window at the afternoon sun.
“But its not. I still crave the magic. Ten days and its all I think about. Even when I think about Tara I have to think about magic in some way.” she told him while playing with her jacket.
Spike was getting annoyed with the young hacker. “Enough with the games Red. I’m gonna spell it out for you, now pay attention. I’m only gonna do this once.” he pointed with his fingers to emphasize his words. “She’s magic, you crave magic. It’s always been about her Red, can’t you see that? She’s one of those rare hearts that can forgive anything. I know it. Just change the craving a little. Problem is solved.” he explained trying not to sound overly concerned, despite the fact that he actually was.
“How can I do that?” she asked the blonde vampire.
He slowly approached the redhead once more, trying not to invade her space, but offer more comfort if necessary. “Only one bloke I could think of that could get you outta this one Red.”
“Giles.” she breathed. Willow stood in stunned silence. ‘That makes sense.’ she ran up to him and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you.” she said as she grabbed her bag and headed out of the crypt.
“Birds. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t kill ‘em either.” he muttered as a small smile spread to his lips. He crawled back in his coffin for another nap.
-----------------------------
Hmmm, well...I guess that kinda gives away what's coming up for Willow...as for Spike...he about to agree to something you wouldn't expect. And he won't be the only one.
------------------
Love will find a way.
Well...I've been busy..things just seem to be coming out of my mind left and right...Well, for anyone who liked Spike in the last part...he may floor you in this part. And as for Willow not going far away...well, I promise she'll come back....eventually.
Title: Lost & Found - Part 4
Author: Jessan
Feedback: Yes, bring it on...I can take it. Sniff. LOL
Summary: Two witches going in different directions...for the moment
Spoiler Warning: Up to and including "Wrecked" in Season 6.
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me...no copyright infringement intended. Joss is my God. All hail the glorious one. (It just called out to me.)
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Everyone will be running into each other eventually...all our favorite pairs are in the mix...and some odd pairings as well.
Xander, Dawn and Buffy returned to Tara’s room to find Tara slumped in Anya’s arms. Xander looked shocked but Buffy just looked pissed. She glared at the ex-demon. “What did you do to her?” she demanded in her best command voice.
Anya looked up with every bit as much intensity as she was having thrown at her. “The same damn thing YOU should be doing for Willow right now.” she responded and then bit her tongue when she heard the blonde witch whispered in her ear.
“Don’t. Please.”
Anya looked back down at Tara. “Alright.” she returned her look to the slayer. “She needed someone to remind her of what her problem really is, that’s all. This one…” she nodded toward the witch that was slowly calming herself in Anya’s secure embrace. “forgot about taking care of the most important person. Herself.”
Dawn and Xander were both extremely relieved. Buffy was still fuming about the Willow comment. Dawn was the first to speak up. “So what does she need?” she asked the ex-demon. “We can do anything you need.” she said kneeling down at Tara’s feet as she put her hand gently on witch’s knees.
Tara slowly pulled away from Anya and reached down and grabbed Dawn’s hand. She wiped her tears on her sleeve and took a deep breath. “I need to get away.” she raised her hand to stop Dawn before she let her finish. “Briefly. I need to get away from Sunnydale on a retreat. I need to reconnect with myself. Kinda of like a soul search.” she struggled to find the right words to explain herself.
Buffy understood what the witch was saying, but still didn’t want her going home. “You can’t go to your f…” she almost said family, but bit back the word when she remembered who she was referring to. “relatives.”
Xander raised his hand. “Gotta agree with her there Tara.” Points towards himself. “Also not down with you running off to the insane asylum This coming from someone raised in one.” He remembered how happy he was when he finally moved out. The thought of ever going back frighented him.
Anya looked at Tara. “I do have to agree with him. Xander’s a reformed member of a white trash family, he knows about these things.” she said tipping her head towards her fiancé. Tara let out a soft chuckle. Nobody calls a spade a spade like Anya.
Xander stared at the woman he loved for a moment. He opened his mouth to protest and then looked at Buffy. “Let me guess. I can’t argue that point without either A - pissing her off. Or B - see point A, right?” he asked remembering his earlier promise to himself.
Buffy put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “She did say you were reformed. And you did live in the basement. Don‘t fight the stereotype. Embrace it.” she told him. Buffy saw Dawn putting her head on Tara’s lap trying to hide her giggles.
Tara shook her head. “Not going there.” she gently lifted Dawn’s head from her lap. “I’m going to my uncle’s cabin. It’s in the middle of nowhere, about an hour from here. I swear, I’ll be back before the semester starts in ten days.”
Buffy felt relieved, as did the rest of the room. Then she did a double take. “Wait. Alone? No way.” she shook her head repeatedly.
Tara looked at the slayer. “Buffy, you’ve got Dawn to take care of. Xander and Anya have work. Willow’s not really an option right now. There’s no one that could come with me anyway. So yes, I‘m going alone.” she said as she shrugged her shoulders.
Buffy’s mind starting turning. She knew Willow would never forgive her if she let Tara leave Sunnydale without protection. “So, you need to borrow some wheels?”
-----------------------------
Willow walked up the steps to her parents’ house. It certainly didn’t feel like a home to her in any sense of the word. She started to wonder if she had ever really felt secure there. No, it was just the place where she had slept every night. Her parents were more interested in their own lives than they ever had been in hers. She took a deep breath and walked in the front door.
She looked at her old home and was reminded of why she had been all too happy to move out. Her father was sitting behind the computer doing some research and her mother was madly typing on her laptop. ‘Probably another article for her vast collection.’ she thought wirily. She cleared her throat to announce her presence. “Hey there.”
Her father at least looked up. Her mother just continued typing. “Honey, Willow’s here.” he spoke tying to rouse his wife from her own world and back into this one.
Shelia Rosenberg looked up at her husband and then over towards the door. “Oh, hello dear. Everything going well? No problems at the dorms I hope.”
Willow shook her head. She would have loved to lay into her parents for having no clue about her life, but that was a bad idea when you are going to ask them for a favor. “I live at Buffy’s now. It’s cheaper than the dorms. She doesn’t ask for rent money.” she added as an afterthought.
Ira nodded his head in understanding. “So everything’s ok? How’s Daniel?”
Willow froze. At first, she felt a rush of anger at the mention of her ex. Then she felt pissed that they didn’t even realize that she had broken up with Oz 2 years ago. “Oz is unavailable right now. He went overseas.” she said as a way of getting them off that topic quickly. Then again, ‘I could mention that I was dating a very powerful FEMALE witch. Or better yet, I could explain that I’m addicted to dark magic.’ she tried to calm her nerves and will away the feeling to cast a spell on her parents to buy a clue.
Shelia looked relieved. “Thank goodness. I never did like the fact that you were dating a musician. He always seemed so, stoic.” Shelia looked back to her laptop and clicked the mouse. “Anyone new in your life?”
Willow walked over to a chair and sat down. ‘Not touching that one. Although, they probably wouldn’t bat an eye at the gay thing. Just look at me and go “oh”.’ She shook her head. “Not right now. I’ve been focusing on my studies, which brings me to why I am here.” she was furiously rubbing her hands together. If her parents knew anything about her, they would know that she was about to try to lie to them. In a round-about way, she was slightly thankful they didn’t know about her little quirks. “I got an offer to help out on a research project at the University of London. Only problem is, we have to front our own way over there.” Willow’s voice trailed off, hoping that they would get the point without her having to come right out and ask for the money.
Ira stood up. “Willow, that’s wonderful. The University of London is respected all over the globe. You’ll have to send us an email outlining the project. Will you be credited when the work is published?”
Willow looked scared. ‘NOW they’re interested in my life? Could things get any worse?’ Willow mentally berated herself and rolled her eyes. ‘You just HAD to think THAT, didn’t you?’ Willow shook her head. “I doubt it. I would just be on the menial research team. You know, the famously credited et al etc. Not the high profile-y stuff you guys do.”
Ira shook his head. “That’s a shame. The things a credit like that could do for your career.” He said walking over to get his checkbook. “How much do you think you’ll need?” he asked.
Willow looked relieved that he wasn’t going to ask many more questions. She was equally as annoyed when she heard her mother resume her typing. ‘Some things never change.’ She looked at her father. “Um, $1500 should cover everything.” she said without a second thought.
-------------------------
Willow ran back to the Summer’s house and made herself a reservation on the evening flight out of Sunnydale. She called for a cab and ran upstairs to pack. She threw a few more extra pieces of clothing in her bag. “Where’s my damn passport?” she wondered, tearing thru drawers. “Ah-hah!” Mixed in with a bunch of French club stuff from high school. “Glad these are good for 7 years.” she reminded herself. She grabbed her planner which had Giles address and phone number in it. She noticed the note still lying on her desk unread. Apparently, no one had been home. She picked up the note and reread what she had written. Before she could contemplate whether she should tell them where she was heading, she heard the taxi honking out front. One last look around the room, and she was out the door. She walked downstairs and placed the note on the coffee table. She looked around the house quickly trying to memorize every detail. “I can do this.” she said to the empty room. For the first time since she had last made love to Tara she felt she was doing the right thing. She turned and headed out the front door.
-----------------------
“SPIKE!”
Spike sat straight up in the coffin. ‘What is it today with these damn women?’ Spike rolled out of the coffin. “Whatcha need luv?”
She walked over to him and grabbed the back of his neck and slammed her mouth into his. He moaned at the contact. He ran his hands down her sides and firmly grabbed her bottom and pulled her more into the kiss. Buffy’s other arm went around his back and ran up and down his spine. After a few minutes, finally, Buffy broke away panting. “Hi. I need a favor.”
Spike nodded. “Anything for you, you should know that by now.”
Buffy put her arms around his neck. “I want you to spend a few days out in the countryside.”
Spike considering being alone with the slayer in the forest with nothing but wild animals around. ‘We’ll teach them a few tricks.’ he thought.
Buffy rolled her eyes. “I know what your thinking, so stop. Not with me, with Tara.”
Spike stiffened considerably. “Um, luv, she’s not exactly my type, her being gay and all.”
Buffy grinned. She had Spike right were she wanted him. “She needs to go on a soul search, I don’t want her to go alone. You’re available.” Buffy looked into his eyes and saw nothing but love reflected towards herself. “And I need someone I can trust to go with her.”
Spike was stunned. This was the closest the slayer had ever come to admitting how she felt about him. And it meant a lot. But about her feelings and where she was willing to take there relationship. Trusting him with Tara’s safety was almost as important as trusting him with Dawn‘s. Besides, he did like Tara, how bad could it be? He said the only words that came to his mind. “When do we leave?”
-------------------
Hmmm...roadtrip with the witch and the vampire...should be interesting...if she agrees, but then again....
------------------
Love will find a way.
Hey there everyone....here would be the 4 am installment...when you muse calls, you can't exactly tell her to hold, now can you?
Title: Lost & Found - Part 5
Author: Jessan
Feedback: Yes, bring it on...I can take it. Sniff. LOL
Summary: Two witches going in different directions...for the moment
Spoiler Warning: Up to and including "Wrecked" in Season 6.
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me...no copyright infringement intended. Joss is my God. All hail the glorious one. (It just called out to me.)
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Everyone will be running into each other eventually...all our favorite pairs are in the mix...and some odd pairings as well.
------------------
Tara pulled into the Summer’s driveway. “I still don’t understand why she insisted that I wait for her to get back from patrol.”
Dawn looked over at the blonde wiccan. “Well, Xander said that no one’s seen Willow all day. She probably didn’t want me to be alone if she wasn’t here.”
Tara looked concerned. “No one knows where Willow is?”
Dawn shook her head. “We actually don’t keep her chained up in the basement. Although I did suggest it. Buffy was a little annoyed with me for that comment.”
Tara rolled her eyes. “Dawn, I know what Will did to you was wrong and hurtful, but you have to be bigger than all of that.” she flashed a half grin. “Bitter freshmen are so not cool. I thought they went for disenchanted these days?”
Dawn nodded her head. “I know, but who wants to be with the in-crowd anyway?”
Tara smiled at the teenager. She was never cool. Yet at the same time, being an outsider had led to the most exciting events of her life. Willow was considered an outcast, at least in her own mind. Well, they all were in their own way. Tara looked over at the former key and smiled. “Not me.” she shook her head. If it meant giving up everything she had found with the out-crowd… “Not now. Not ever.” she declared. “Come on. Let’s go make something for dinner before I leave.” With that, the two girls headed into the house.
-------------------------
Buffy walked into the kitchen with the smell of spanish rice in the air. She looked at the blonde behind the stove and smiled. She walked over and put her chin on the taller girl’s shoulder. “Dinner smells great. Got enough for an extra?”
Tara had heard the kitchen door open, but hadn’t turned around. “Sure. Did um, Willow decide to join us?” she asked, not knowing whether or not she could face the redhead just yet.
Spike decided it was time to voice his presence. “Sorry Blondie. Just Big Bad come to enjoy some rare home cooking.”
Tara turned around slightly surprised to see the blonde vampire standing next to the door. “Always room for one more.” she turned to look at the slayer. “Dinner’s almost ready. Why don’t you go help Dawn set the table.”
Buffy reached around and gave Tara a quick hug from behind. “I will.” She released the witch and looked at Spike. “How about getting some drinks for everyone?”
Spike nodded his head as Buffy went into the dining room to help Dawn. Tara finished stirring the rice and put the lid on for it to boil. She walked over to the sink and started washing some pans. “Spike? If I may ask, since when do you come to dinner?”
Spike shrugged as he pulled some pop out of the fridge. “Slayer said you were a good cook. I wanted to see for myself, if that’s alright?”
Tara looked at Spike with an air of surprise. “Of-of course it’s fine. You’re always welcome here. You have been for quite some time as I recall.”
Spike nodded. After Buffy died, Tara had gone out of her way to make the vampire feel welcome. He could come and see Dawn anytime he wanted. She knew that he had promised to protect her. And Tara wasn’t about to take that away from the vampire. “Just seemed strange that you would be here tonight.” Tara finished the pans in the sink and walked back to the stove. “She told you I was leaving, didn’t she?” she asked knowingingly. It was more of a statement than a question.
Tara never ceased to amaze Spike. She was always the most intuitive of all the scoobies. “Yeah, wants me to go with you actually.” He figured that revelation would bother the young wiccan, but instead he was shocked when she walked over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“I would like the company. If you don’t mind being stuck in the middle of nowhere for a few days.” she told him honestly.
Spike dipped his head to look her dead in the eye. “Won’t miss my soaps, will I?”
Tara giggled. “No. There’s no cable, but the major channels still come in pretty well.”
Spike smiled. “Then a little piece and quiet might be good for an old bugger like me.”
Tara poured the rice into a bowl. She handed it to the vampire. “Come on. Let’s eat.” With that, they both walked into the dinner room for dinner.
-----------------------
Xander sat down on the couch next to Anya. She was reading a bridal magazine. He reached over and gently pulled down the magazine. “I’m proud of you, do you know that?”
Anya looked stupefied. “Why?” she asked.
Xander slid his arm around her shoulders. “For what you did for Tara today. She really needed someone and you were there for her. You never cease to amaze me.” He leaned in to give her a soft kiss on the cheek. “Must be why I love you so much.”
Anya tossed the magazine over to the other side of the couch as she rolled over and startled his legs. “So, I’m getting the hang of his humanity thing after all?” she questioned putting her arms around his neck. “I felt like Tara was the first person that actually accepted me other than you.”
Xander leaned in and gave her another soft kiss on the lips this time. “I think that you are the most amazing woman I have ever meant in my life.” he said as he wrapped his arms around her back. “And I think that you are going to be an incredible wife.”
She leaned down and kissed him hard. When they finally broke apart, she looked seductively into his eyes. “So, I guess this little speech deserves an orgasm huh?” she took his hand and led him into their bedroom.
--------------------
Willow looked up at the screens searching for her flight. ‘Leaves in 45 minutes.’ She walked towards her gate wondering if anyone had found her note yet. ‘When I get to England, I had better call them. They’re gonna be mad at me for not telling them where I was going.’ she thought. ‘Then again, I wonder if I should call Giles?’ She looked down at her watch. It was 4 am in England. She was suddenly shaken from her thoughts when an announcement came over the loud speaker.
“Now boarding flight 758 with service to London. All passengers should be checked in at the gate at this time.” the voice bellowed.
She headed towards the counter still unsure of whether to call Giles or not. ‘Guess I’ll worry about it tomorrow.’ she thought as she handed her boarding pass to the girl at the check-in desk.
---------------
Well, well...let's see...a secret comes out..but its not really a secret. A little entertainment and a strange fascination.
------------------
Love will find a way.
Howdy y'all. This would be the part where I start having roadtrip fun. And if you can believe it, Spike and Tara have similar tastes in music. (At least in my world they do.)
Title: Lost & Found - Part 6
Author: Jessan
Feedback: Yes, bring it on...I can take it. Sniff. LOL
Summary: Two witches going in different directions...for the moment
Spoiler Warning: Up to and including "Wrecked" in Season 6.
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me...no copyright infringement intended. Joss is my God. All hail the glorious one. (It just called out to me.) Song's "Right Kind of Wrong" by Leann Rimes
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Everyone will be running into each other eventually...all our favorite pairs are in the mix...and some odd pairings as well.
--------------
Buffy, Dawn, Tara, and Spike had finished dinner and were cleaning up. Dawn was helping Tara with the dishes while Buffy finished straightening up the dining room. Spike walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Spike, not now.” she warned him.
Spike rolled his eyes. “I was just getting my goodbye out of the way now. Figured it was something we should do away from prying eyes.” he leaned down and gently nuzzled her neck. The slayer leaned back and slightly moaned in response. “I’ll miss you. You know that right?”
Buffy nodded her head. “I really appreciate this. I hope you know just how much.”
Spike spun her around in his arms. He leaned down and gave her a searing kiss. He could feel the fire starting to burn and decided that he better back off before he started something he just couldn‘t finish. “No, but you could always show me just how much when I get back.” he gently reminded her.
“Count on it.” She told him as she leaned in for another kiss.
Tara stared at the slayer and the vampire kissing. She wasn’t upset. She was happy actually. Despite the issues that Buffy was still having, Tara knew that the vampire loved her. Love knows no rhyme or reason. ‘Guess Spike and I have something to talk about after all.‘ she told herself. Tara slowly turned and walked back down the hallway to the kitchen.
-----------------------
Dawn gave Tara a big hug. “Is there a phone at the cabin? Will you be able to call us?” she asked as she slowly pulled away from the witch. Dawn understood her reasons for going, but she still didn’t like it.
Tara shook her head no. “But don’t worry. There is electricity and I have my cell phone. I promise I will call as soon as we get there.” she said putting a soft hand under her chin. She then kissed her on the top of the head. “Spike’s with me. Everything will be fine.” she turned to face Buffy.
Buffy wasn’t sure if the blonde witch was upset with her or not. She really hadn’t said anything about the slayer arranging the vampire escort for her. Buffy leaned in for a hug. As she did, she whispered in Tara’s ear. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”
Tara pulled back and regarded the slayer. She was scared that Tara would say yes. Instead, Tara flashed Buffy a brilliant smile. “How could I ever be upset about you caring?” she immediately saw the relief on her face. “Family takes care of its own, right?”
Buffy leaned in for another quick hug. “Right.” She looked over at the vampire as she let go of Tara. “Anything happens to her, you are dust. Understand?” she warned in a fierce tone.
Spike knew she was just putting on a show for Dawn and Tara. “Yeah, yeah. Same tune, different day. Relax slayer. Nothing will happen to Red’s bird on my watch.” he said staring at her. Tara and Dawn started to walk out to the car. He mouthed an ‘I love you.’ to the slayer as he turned and followed the girls.
Buffy sighed and softly said, “Me too.” Startled that she had said that out loud, she wondered if the vampire had picked that up with his hearing. She was surprised when her slayer senses heard a barely audible ‘I know.’ in response. She smiled and walked towards the Jeep to wish them a safe trip.
She walked up next to her sister and put her arm around her shoulders. They heard Spike ask Tara if she was ready. Tara’s response filled Buffy with hope. “The sooner we leave, the sooner we get back.” Without another word, Spike pulled out of the driveway as the Summers girls waved goodbye to their friends.
The sisters walked back in the house and sat down on the couch together. “Buffy?” Dawn said noticing the note on the coffee table for the first time. She pointed to the note on the table with Buffy‘s name on it. Buffy picked up the note while Dawn put her head on Buffy’s shoulder. “Is it from Willow? It’s her stationary isn’t it? Where did she go tonight?” she asked in one breath.
Buffy started to shake. Dawn looked at her quizzically. “Buffy?”
The slayer slowly read Willow’s note out loud. “Dear Buffy, I know I’ve been making a lot of mistakes recently, but this isn’t one of them. I know that I need to get a handle on things and I don’t think I can do that if I’m surrounded by the people I’ve hurt. I’m going away for a while. I’m not sure where and I’m not sure when I’ll be back. Please don’t tell Tara and please don’t be upset with me. This is for the best. You’ve always been my best friend. Hopefully, when I return, I can remember how to be yours. All my love to you and Dawn. Willow.”
Buffy turned and looked at Dawn. They both started shaking their heads. They stopped at the same time and spoke in unison. “Tara’s gonna kill us.”
----------------------------
Spike drove down the highway following the directions Tara told him. He wondered whether or not he should try starting a conversation or not. He opted to let her make the first move. Instead, he turned on the radio. He had no idea what Buffy had programmed, so he hit all the buttons looking for something that wasn’t talk. He came across a country station. Tara heard some familiar chords that seemed appropriate for the topic she wanted to discuss with him. She put her hand on his. “Leave it.” she softly said.
Spike just nodded and stared at the road ahead of him while listening to the words of the song Tara wanted to hear.
I know all about, about your reputation
And how it's bound to be a heartbreak situation
But I can't help it if I'm helpless every time that I'm where you are
You walk in and my strength walks out the door
Say my name and I can't fight anymore
Oh I know I should go but I need your touch just too damn much
Spike looked over at the witch. She just continued humming and staring out the window. He was starting to wonder if she knew more about him than she let on.
Loving you isn't really something I should do
Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you
I should try to be strong
But baby, you're the right kind of wrong
Baby you're the right kind of wrong
Spike started wondering if she had left the song on so he could hear it or she could. He was surprises when she sang out the next verse.
“Might be a mistake, a mistake I'm making
But what you're giving I am happy to be taking
Cause no one's ever made me feel the way I feel when I'm in your arms
They say you're something I should do without
They don't know what goes on when the lights go out
There's no way to explain all the pleasure is worth all the pain”
Again Tara went back to humming, almost as if she was contemplating what the words she had just sang meant to her.
Loving you isn't really something I should do
Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you
I should try to be strong
But baby, you're the right kind of wrong
Baby you're the right kind of wrong
Spike caught himself humming along with the steady beat of the music. It was a rather sensual rhythm that reminded him how much he wanted to get Buffy on the dance floor at the Bronze. He had watched her many nights. ‘Damn, how that girl can move.’ he thought. Once again, Tara sang. Only this time, she stared directly at Spike.
“I should try to run but I just can't seem to
Cause every time I run you're the one I run to
I can't do without what you do to me
I don't care if I'm in too deep”
Spike glanced at her and he swore he could almost hear Buffy’s voice singing the exact same words.
“I know all about, about your reputation
And how it's bound to be a heartbreak situation
But I can't help it if I'm helpless
Every time that I'm where you are
You walk in and my strength walks out the door
Say my name and I can't fight anymore
Oh I know I should go
But I need your touch just too damn much
Loving you isn't really something I should do
Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you
I should try to be strong
But baby, you're the right kind of wrong
Baby you're the right kind of wrong”
Tara reached over and turned down the radio. She studied the vampire to see if he got her point or not. Spike could feel the blonde’s eyes bearing down on him. He could tell she was waiting for a reaction. “So, was it for you or for me?” he asked delicately. He wanted to probe, but not tstart a fight with the shy wiccan.
Tara shrugged her shoulders. “Turn off here.” She pointed to the left Staring out her window, she answered him. “Well, I guess it depends on who you are. It kinda fits all our situations. Willow questioning her sexuality issues, not anymore obviously, but it fit once. Me trying to decide whether a magic user should be in love with a magic addict. You and Buffy trying to get around the whole vampire/slayer thing.” she said as she finally looked back at him.
“Which means what?” he said trying to be coy.
She sighed. “Spike, you know I read auras right? I could ignore that about as much as I could seeing you two kissing in the dining room tonight.” His eyebrows shot skyhigh. “That’s why the minute you showed up tonight, out of the blue, I knew she asked you to go with me. I know she would trust you with my life.” she told him with pride.
Spike knew he was caught dead. “When did you first know?”
She tipped her head to regard him. “Before or after she died?”
Spike was taken aback. “She had feelings for me the first time I confessed I was in love with her?”
Tara nodded. “Not that she would have admitted it to anyone. The mind can hide from truth, but the heart never does.” she nervously tapped on the armrest. Tara paused briefly. ‘Our situations seem more alike than you realize Spike.’ she thought. “She was falling in love with you even then.”
Spike desperately needed to change the subject. “How far out are we?”
Tara chuckled. “The way YOU drive? We’ll be there in another 20 minutes. Why?”
“I need a smoke and Buffy would probably dust me if I did it in her car.” He shook his head. “Rot. I’ll get over it. So, do you think that…ah, maybe…” he prayed that she would answer his question without him actually having to ask the witch if she thought they could truly be together.
Tara reached in the back to grab a soda. “Do you think that Willow and I have a chance?”
“I know it.” he answered.
She set her soda in the cup holder. “You want one?” she asked while she was still twisted in her seat.
“No thanks luv. Appreciate the offer though.” he told her truthfully.
She faced forward and opened her soda. After taking a long gulp, she finally answered his unasked question. “Spike.” he glanced at her. “Yes, I do.” she took another swig. “So, you like
at: 4/2/02 8:36:24 pm
/ 
reunion! 
This, of course, means I can't read the updates that have been posted since the new board has been up.... would someone be so kind as to email them to me? Please? It would be greatly appreciated...