Early Days

[The Rose24]

I love these frequent updates.



Snuggles are always good.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[SJ]

Cute update

[warriorlove]

That was soooooooo cute

I can take care of her...even if she never...she's my girl.

[Lost in blue]

Hey everyone. Thank you all again for the feedback. I should explain before I start that it has jumped from that morning to that evening just coz there wasn't much in the way of Willow/Tara goodness and I wanted to get back to the snuggliness as soon as possible. Ok on with the update:



-----



Willow was fed up. She couldn’t sleep. It had been a long day and to make matters worse she hadn’t seen Tara since this morning. Now she was cramped in bed with Buffy and Anya. Willow fidgeted.

“Will you stop moving?!!” Anya was sounding as agitated as she felt.

“Sorry.” Willow mumbled miserably.



Hmph. You would think being in bed with two girls would be way better than this, probably Xander’s dream. I would so much rather be in Tara’s bed. Willow smiled to herself and sighed softly. Tara is all soft and warm, so nice and snuggly. Unlike these two, ugh it’s so uncomfortable. Willow sighed again, this time in exasperation.



“Are you going to be sighing all night?”

“An, leave her alone and go to sleep.” Buffy was trying desperately to keep the peace just so that she might get some sleep.

“Sleep?! How am I supposed to sleep with her fidgeting and sighing constantly and don’t even get me started on Giles’ squeaking.”

“I can’t help that this bloody chair keeps squeaking. None of us particularly wants to be here but it’s not like we have much choice in the matter so may I suggest we make the most of the situation and all try to get some sleep?! Anya.” He added pointedly.

“Fine.” Anya replied grumpily. “Pick on me, like I’m the only one keeping everyone else awake. He’s allowed to squeak, Willow’s allowed to sigh, I make one little comment and it’s all turn on Anya time.” Anya mumbled to herself.

“Anya,” Buffy mumbled, “Go to sleep.”



Nobody spoke after that. There was the occasional squeak and a sigh every now and then but beyond that there was silence. Whilst the others finally drifted off to sleep, Anya snoring beside her, Willow lay awake thinking about Tara. So much had changed for her since she met the girl, other than the obvious. She felt so much more alive, like her whole life part of her had been sleeping and had now finally awoken. She had become happier; something deep down had shifted somehow. She couldn’t say she entirely understood what was happening; all that she knew was that it was good. How could something that felt so right not be? Tara was making her stronger, not just with her magic which had increased beyond her own expectations, but as a person. Tara helped her to see herself in a whole new light, as the person that Tara herself saw Willow to be. In Tara’s eyes she was beautiful and wonderful. Tara saw her as nobody else ever had, like she could see right deep down into her soul. When Tara looked at her she was really seeing her and rather than try to hide from that Willow felt no fear of how Tara would react when she saw her as she really was and not just the version of herself she wanted others to see. When Willow thought of Tara she felt something inside her, she had not felt anything like it before. The feeling was scaring her less now than it had before as she drew closer to understanding what she was feeling in her own heart. Willow sighed again, her head was spinning with so many thoughts. She shifted a little, gently so as not to wake the others, not wanting a grouchy Anya on her hands again right now. Some time later Willow finally drifted off to sleep, her last thoughts of Tara.



....to be continued.



-----



Sorry it was a little shorter than I realised. Hope you all enjoyed it anyway. I won't babble today coz it's getting late and I need to go shower and stuff, accidently slept through most of the afternoon/ evening today- so tired Oh yeah I said I wasn't gonna babble. More tomorrow



Love Helen xxxxx

Edited by: Warduke at: 2/28/04 9:28 am

[pikescoob]

Bad me for not getting on to check for updates...but it's cool cuz I get like 4 updates at once! Staying in bed through the afternoon? Definitely sounds like something I wanna try *grin* I'm sure my girl would agree to that first chance we get More soon!



Michelle

[Gimpgirl]

Hey honey.....



Very well done update yet again. Can I say enough just how much I love your writing? I don't think I can, but you might bet annoyed with me.....*cute grin*.



Ok so quickly moving on. Write more soon baby. I am writing my own update and you are giving me inspiration by writing so yeah. Again I say more, more, more.



I love you......



Michelle

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"just when you think you got me figured out the seasons already changing...."-Meredith Brooks

[The Rose24]

Tara is filling Willow's head with sweet thoughts. Lovely.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[SJ]

Great update,lovely fic

[Lost in blue]

Hey everyone. Forgive the incredibly short update, and the fact that it kinda sucks only without the kinda part. Its just not been a good day.



-----



The following morning the girls sat watching cartoons, trying to take their minds off of the events currently causing havoc and insanity in their lives. All they knew so far was that Professor Walsh had tried to kill Buffy, that she may try and kill her or any of them again, and that Riley was currently missing. They didn’t know if he was involved in Professor Walsh’s plan. If he was on their side or against them. They could not be sure how much he knew. Still Willow knew Buffy was worried for him. As far as Buffy was concerned he was one of them, and Buffy didn’t let any of her Scoobies get hurt, if they did she made the person responsible pay. They all knew that Riley could take care of himself, but they did not know what it was they were facing, not yet. Willow attempted to ease Buffy’s worrying but it was futile whilst they still had no idea what was happening.



The situation worsened when Xander came down the stairs and told them to put the TV on. The news said that a small boy had been killed by what seemed like a skewer. That was it, they knew that they would have to stop hiding out and go and search for what did this. Buffy was going to go to the crime scene, the rest of them were to do what they could to find the demon responsible. Willow smiled to herself, not just at the sight of Buffy doing her “to war” type speech in her yummy sushi pyjamas but because she knew how she could help. She knew a demon locating spell which would help locate the demon, it could save them valuable hours of search time, plus it gave her an excuse to go and see Tara.



Whilst the others were all getting ready Willow quickly called Tara. There was no answer. Remembering that Tara had a class first thing she left a message to say she was on her way over. She didn’t leave to many details, it was probably best to explain everything in person.



As the group got ready to leave Willow told them she knew how they might be able to find the demon but needed to do some research first. They welcomed anything that may help them find the demon sooner so they left and Willow made her way to Tara’s as quickly as she could.



..... to be continued.



-----



See I said it was short, and that it sucked so don't say I didn't warn you. I'll try to make tomorrow's update better (shouldn't be difficult) and longer (definately won't be difficult) Anyway I'm off to spread the joy which is both obvious and contagious.



Helen xxxxx

Edited by: Warduke at: 2/28/04 9:28 am

[Gimpgirl]

Hey honey......



Just because the part was short doesn't mean it sucked. And although I am biased, it was still very good. So no saying it wasn't. Missy even says that it was good. So there you have to believe her (she says cause she is cute....whatever).



Anyway-I so look forward to reading the next part and so wish I was there now to make your day even better, but sadly that damn ocean is in the way. Show me the money!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now would be good.



I love you......



Michelle

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"just when you think you got me figured out the seasons already changing...."-Meredith Brooks

[shuyaku]

Yes it was short - but no it did NOT suck! This is a great little fic



-shuyaku

Oh God, Willow—you’re giving me the gift of Karen Carpenter. Just when I think I grasp the full extent of your love." - Tara

"Why do birds suddenly appear? It’s because, you are queer…" - Willow (Gods Served and Abandoned by AntigoneUnbound)

[pikescoob]

No suckage Helen...it sets us up for the next W/T part, which we know to be when Tara sabotages the demon locator spell, but I look forward to what you're gonna add in there *grin* I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.



Michelle

[Sappho]

First of all, this made me laugh out loud:

Quote:

---

I'm off to spread the joy which is both obvious and contagious.

---

I mean, I can just hear the wonderfully sarcastic tone. It actually sounds like Anya in my head when in CheckPoint (season 5, episode 12 ) she tells the watcher's counsel that she was "raised by both a mother and a father." Wonderful stuff.



Second of all, the whole upcoming scene... I have a feeling that it is going to be quite a bit different then what we have all seen as Joss's ( ) rendition. I am looking forward to a fresh new angle and/or outcome.



~Sappho

Willow: Yeah, that’s me. Reliable dog geyser person.

***

Anya: Give me a beer. Bartender: I.D. Anya: [Looks at him w/ disbelief] Bartender: I.D.

Anya: I’m 1,120 years old!!! Just give me a friggin’ beer! Bartender: I.D. Anya: [Sigh] Give me a Coke.

[SJ]

Your update was great,it didn't suck at all

[Lost in blue]

Hey kittens. Thanks to everyone for being so sweet. Yesterday was just one of those days. Today was a lot better though, although I did have to see my Mother which always sucks. Anyway I really shouldn't babble so much, I really can't help. I write or speak as I think and so I end up with this long jabbering that seems to jump from one thing to the next, believe it or not the things I say actually connect to one another in my mind.... I know my mind is an odd place. Anway I was meant to stop babbling and get on with the update, so here it is, hope you all enjoy it:



-----



Willow could barely contain her excitement on her way over to Tara’s. She knew that if this spell worked then it would save the Scoobies a lot of time, maybe even save lives. The thrill of being useful was so intoxicating that she had virtually skipped all the way. She had read about the spell to contact the Goddess Thespia, she knew it was more advanced than the spells they had been practicing before but she couldn’t help but believe that she and Tara could do anything. With Tara by her side she felt stronger than ever before in her life, like she could do anything, they together could do anything. She had felt their power growing. It seemed that the more time they spent together, the closer they got, the stronger their combined power was becoming. She could feel their connection all the time now, not just when practising spells. Just by being in the other girl’s presence she could feel the energy flowing between them. The feeling was intoxicating, exhilarating. All it took was for her to simply think of Tara, her eyes, her hair, her smile, the way she looked at her and it was enough to make Willow feel elated, like she was walking on air. When with Tara she could feel every fibre of her being come to life, everything seemed more real, more vivid. The skies seemed bluer, the grass greener, the birds sang a melody to match the delight in her heart. It was like everything around her obtained some of their magic. Still lost in thoughts of Tara she found herself at the girl’s door.



Willow knocked on Tara’s door and waited impatiently for an answer, she was still wound up with excitement. After what seemed like an eternity to Willow the door in front of her opened. Willow couldn’t keep the big grin from her face.

“Hi!” She was trying not to sound to over-excited but she just couldn’t help the happiness radiating from her. In return she was greeted by a warm, full beaming smile from Tara. Willow felt a warmth spread through her tummy, the excitement no longer from the thrill of being useful, now the fluttering in her tummy was all due to Tara, Tara and that beautiful smile of hers. Willow felt her knees weaken slightly, even more so as Tara began to speak. Willow felt herself become entranced by the sound of Tara’s voice, no matter what the other girl said it was always as if her voice were surrounding Willow, protecting her and caressing her. It was so calming, so soothing. Realising that she should be responding to what Tara was saying Willow tried to compose herself.

“I had so much fun the other night, those spells….” Willow felt herself getting giddy just thinking about it.

“Yeah that was nice.” Tara’s voice sounded equally dreamy. Suddenly Willow realised how her words may have sounded.



Oh Goddess what if she thinks I only come over for spells. I don’t want her to think she’s not important to me. I need her to know how much she means, how happy I feel when we’re together, how I love just spending time together.



“I hope you don’t think that I just come over for the spells and everything. I really like just talking and hanging out with you and….stuff.”

“I know that,” Tara smiled at Willow reassuringly and adoringly, “But you wanna do a spell?” Tara guessed with an almost teasing tone.

“Yeah but only because its really important, there’s this.…”

“No, you don’t have to explain. I don’t mind, really.” Truthfully Tara didn’t care what they did, so long as it meant more Willow-time. “I’ve been thinking about that last spell we did all day.” Picking up on Tara’s innuendo Willow felt herself flush slightly at the memory.

“You have?” Willow could barely keep the glee from her voice. Tara nodded emphatically, grinning from ear to ear. Remembering why she had come here Willow continued. “Well this one should be really fun too. We conjure the Goddess Thespia to help us locate demonic energy in the area, it shouldn’t be too tricky.” Willow tried to sound as reassuring as possible.

“The Goddess Thespia? Are you sure we’re ready for that?” Willow could feel the sudden unease in Tara. She had thought Tara may be a little apprehensive; after all it was beyond anything they had tried before. Willow was far too excited about the spell to feel any apprehension about attempting something so far advanced.

“You and me? This is beneath us.” At this Tara smiled and Willow could sense her resolve was fading.

“Ok if you say so.” Tara was trying desperately to sound like she believed in what Willow was saying and that she wasn’t nervous. In truth though she knew how tough a spell it could be. Conjuring the Goddess Thespia was not something you did on a whim, only when absolutely necessary. The Goddess did not appreciate being disturbed unless there was good cause to do so. On the other hand she just couldn’t say no to Willow, she seemed physically incapable of doing so. So instead she went along with doing the spell, after all the likelihood of them succeeding was pretty minimal. On the other hand the power possessed by Willow hadn’t gone unnoticed by Tara. Willow was stronger than any other witch she’d ever met, she just didn’t know how to use that power yet. And the power seemed to intensify immensely when they did their joint spells. Suddenly Tara felt a knot of fear in her stomach.



What if it works? What if we succeed? What will we do if we conjure the Goddess Thespia, what if we make her angry for disturbing her? What if the Goddess helped them, would Willow see? What would she think? Could she love a demon? She had loved a werewolf but that was different, she had already fallen for Oz when he became a werewolf.



Tara was snapped out of her turbulent thoughts when she realised Willow had finished setting up. She sat down tentatively, feeling as though time had slowed down. She knew she had to do something but couldn’t think how to start.



“So this square is Sunnydale?” Tara didn’t even know why she had asked the question, she barely recognised her own voice. She knew she was just stalling but she couldn’t stall Willow forever and she still hadn’t thought of a way to stop doing the spell, not without getting a lot more questions than she was ready to or knew how to answer. Tara was vaguely aware of Willow speaking.

“Right. It's like a map. We each take different parts of the potion - and when we do the incantation, we blow it onto the square at the exact same time.”

“Right but how does it work?” Tara was running out of questions to stall Willow. She hoped that maybe she could spot some small fault in what they were doing, something that she could point to as a reason not to go ahead with the spell but nothing came.

“That's the cool part. When the potion mixes and Thespia is called, it creates a mist over the parts where the demons are. It even makes different colours for different breeds.” Willow’s voice washed over her, comforting Tara even as her mind span with worry.

“Wow.” Tara couldn’t help but feel impressed, Willow certainly learnt fast and she seemed to know what she was doing. Something about that did nothing to put Tara at ease.

“You ready?” Willow smiled affectionately at Tara. Tara simply nodded a reply and held out her hand. Willow poured ingredients into both their hands. “Lets do it.”



…..to be continued.



-----



Ok so that was longer than the last one, I hope it didn't suck as bad either- I know, I know you all say it didn't but it just didn't feel quite right to me, probably the lack of Tara. Anyway I need to go shower coz my housemate wants to use the bathroom soon. I'll update again tomorrow, as usual.



Thank you all again for making me feel better. Much love and may you all be blessed with pink elephants!!



Love Helen xxxx

Edited by: Warduke at: 2/28/04 9:28 am

[Gimpgirl]

Hey honey....



Yet again wonderful update. You so capture Tara and Willow so well that I just feel like I'm actually watching the episode. And I'm glad that your day went better today. I hate when you have bad days. And seeing your Mother is never going to make it a good day. Anyway-shutting up before I babble too much.



I love you.....



Michelle

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"just when you think you got me figured out the seasons already changing...."-Meredith Brooks

[The Rose24]

Another great update.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[sam darls]

Hey..I've missed quite a few updates..sorry..but I love this so much . It is so beautiful and really adorable. Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[Lost in blue]

Hey everyone. Thanks again for all the feedback. I’m in a good mood today- it’s Friday!!!! And one of my friends from school is coming over. Ooh plus there’s great TV tonight: Eastenders, an old episode of Friends, a new episode of Friends, Will & Grace, Sex and the City and Graham Norton- who needs a life when you have good TV?! No Buffy though but then there’s always videos- means I can fast forward to all those yummy Willow/Tara moments. Anyway on with the update:



-----



The girls began the spell, each reciting their own parts of the spell. Both could feel the power surging as ever between them. Their power that had been readily growing at a swift rate the past few days was now coursing through both their veins. Willow felt intoxicated as their essences merged and their powers combined, Tara however simply panicked.



Oh my Goddess we might actually succeed. We can’t do this, it’s too dangerous. I have to put a stop to it, I have to do something. Think Tara, think.



All of a sudden Tara had an idea. Willow had her eyes closed so did not see as Tara carefully placed her part of the ingredients out of view under her bed. Breathing a sigh of relief under her breath Tara quickly returned to her position as Willow finished reciting the spell.



“With your knowledge, may we go in safety. With your grace, may we speak of your benevolence.” Willow opened her eyes excitedly and expectantly, but as she did her face fell. “Or not.” Tara could see the disappointment on Willow’s face and it was tearing her up inside. Maybe she should tell Willow the truth, even if she did get angry with her, angry was something Tara was used to being on the receiving end of. She couldn’t bear to see Willow’s disappointment. Tara was so lost in her own guilt she nearly missed the fact that Willow was speaking.



“I was so sure it would work, I really thought we could do it.” Willow pouted glumly. “I mean sure if it had just gone wrong, but we got nothing, not even a little glow. Maybe I missed something when I read about it, or maybe I got an ingredient wrong. Ooh or maybe there’s someone blocking the spell, or like when Ethan Rayne was around and our rose went all zig zaggy.”

“M-maybe.” Tara knew she should tell Willow the truth, she just needed to figure out how to explain and where to start. Tara’s quietness did not go unnoticed by Willow.

“Tara are you okay? I’m sorry the spell didn’t work. I should have listened to you when you said it was too advanced, you know way more about these things than I do. I’m sorry, maybe we can try another spell soon, work our way up to the harder stuff.”

“N-no Willow, i-it’s not that. I-it’s just….” Willow noticed Tara’s stammer was much worse than she had heard before. Suddenly she worried that she must have upset her.

“What?” Willow asked softly, her voice full of concern, and a hint of confusion. Tara took a deep, jagged breath.

“Willow what did you need the demon locater spell for?”

“Oh ummm, we, the Scoobies, are trying to find a Polgara demon, it killed a young child today, he was just a child. Didn’t you see it on the news?”

“N-no I was in class. It killed a ch-child?” Tara’s eyes were welling up now.

“Yes but its okay, we’ll find it, with or without the spell.” Willow reassured Tara, she could feel her distress through the connection that was still flowing between them from the aftermath of the spell.

“What will you do when you find it?”

“Well I guess Buffy will just slay it, that’s what we do- keep the world free of evil nasties.” Willow grinned.

“S-so you guys kill all demons?”

“Well yeah.”

“But there are exceptions…. Spike and ummm…. Oz.” Tara inwardly winced at mentioning his name.

“Yeah but that’s different. Spike is harmless now, annoying but harmless. And Oz, well he was harmless whenever there was no full moon, so every full moon we would just lock him in a cage and then he wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

“Oh.” Tara felt her heart sink, she couldn’t tell Willow the truth. She couldn’t lose her now, they’d only just found one another. And besides since leaving her she had begun to question whether what they had told her was true. It was hard not to believe you’re evil when it’s beaten into you that it’s the truth, but she was free of that now. Now she had Willow who told her she was special and beautiful, now she didn’t know what to believe.

“Why do you ask?” Willow was feeling a little confused, Tara seemed upset by the fact the Scoobies kill demons but she had already known that.



Maybe I’m worrying too much. She seemed okay when I first told her about Buffy and what we all do. Maybe I’m just being paranoid.



“N-no reason. Hey don’t you have to get back to the Scoobies, I mean won’t they be wondering where you are?”

“Oh, I forgot!! I hope they’re not worried. I better get going. But I’ll see you again soon okay?” Willow smiled at Tara, desperately hoping to see that smile returned. Tara did her best to paste a smile on her face, but it didn’t really reach her eyes.

“O-ok. Be careful Willow.”



With that Willow headed out the door. Tara walked over to her bed and simply collapsed in tears.



-----



Ok so that’s another part up, let me know how it was. I hope you all enjoyed it. Anyway I’m off to go eat my dinner.



Love Helen xxxx

Edited by: Warduke at: 2/28/04 9:23 am

[Gimpgirl]

Hey honey....



My baby in a good mood always a good thing. And don't have too much fun watching tv without me...*pout* no snuggles, but it's still all good because good tv can make you forget. Anyway-babbling yes I know.



Very awesome update baby. I always love when you post and the parts just keep getting better and better. I so can't wait for the next one.



I love you.......



Michelle

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"just when you think you got me figured out the seasons already changing...."-Meredith Brooks

[sam darls]

This was an amazing part as always, can't wait to read more Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[Sappho]

Ohhhh... Sad. I really need some happy Will/Tar bliss after that pout-inducing ending. It was a good update, don't get me wrong, but there weren't even any W/T snugglies. Why didn't Willow kiss her goodbye? Seems strange to me.



~Sappho

Willow: Yeah, that’s me. Reliable dog geyser person.

***

Anya: Give me a beer. Bartender: I.D. Anya: [Looks at him w/ disbelief] Bartender: I.D.

Anya: I’m 1,120 years old!!! Just give me a friggin’ beer! Bartender: I.D. Anya: [Sigh] Give me a Coke.

[sam7777]

I love how you did the spell sabotage thing. That scene and the giddy one when they meet never worked for me dialogue-wise. Your notes on their thoughts and feelings goes a long way to make the secne work better for me than what aired. I like the way Tara's sabotage of the spell started with worry over Thespia and worked it's way to worry about being seen as a demon. Genius. It fits with the first part where she questions contacting Thespia and the later stuff about hiding her demon sel. Loving this fic and your take on season 4.

_____________________

I see dead lesbian cliches

Edited by: sam7777  at: 2/27/04 7:16 pm

[The Rose24]

Great part. I never thought Tara's sabotage of the spell was malevolent. I always figured she thought the spell was too advanced and dangerous for them.

Tara: My heart doesn't stutter.


Tara: Willow, I got so lost.

Willow: I found you. I will always find you.

[Lost in blue]

Finally I've managed to get round to writing my thank you's to everyone for their feed back, sorry I didn't do it sooner:



Gimpgirl- My baby, I don’t think I can quite thank you enough for all the support and feedback you’ve given me, but let me try: thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I love you baby.

TexanZeppo256- Thank you for your feedback. The fact that you complimented how I hadn’t had Willow thinking “gee, I think I’m kinda gay” 20 minutes after meeting Tara was cool coz that was something that had been important in my mind when I was writing.

Goffgurl07- Thanks for the feedback, the early feedback was so important in keeping this fic going.

pikescoob- Dude!! Thanks for the frequent feedback. Your feedback has always been some of the best I’ve had. May your future be full of afternoons lazing in bed with your girl, the best way to spend any day.

Tempest Duer- As a fellow sucker of the “how they met” stories I’m glad you’ve been enjoying this one. Thanks for all the feedback.

SJ- Wow so much feedback to thank you for. Thank you for the frequent reassurance that this fic isn’t sucking too bad.

sam darls- Thanks, you always leave such lovely feedback.

amazonaa- Thank you for your feedback.

tiger17- Thanks for all your feedback

thesongwriter- Thanks for the feedback

shuyaku- Thanks for all the feedback, and all the I’m glad you’re enjoying my impatience.

The Rose24- Thanks for all the feedback, it really helps. I’m glad you liked the sabotaging the spell part. It wasn’t easy to write in a way that wasn’t malevolent. I’ve never seen the scene that way just coz it’s just not the way I see Tara. To me she was always so good and honest, and the reasons they seemed to give for her sabotaging it were too selfish to fit with the way her character had been and was subsequently portrayed. It never quite sat right with me so I tried to think about what would have been going through her mind. I hope I did okay.

wimpy0729- Thanks for the feedback.

good2cats- Thanks for the feedback.

LizPuRR- Thanks for all your feedback, glad you’ve enjoyed it.

warriorlove- Glad you’re enjoying it, thanks so much for the feedback

Shandem- Indeed talking is always good, and I very much intend to have Tara help Willow with her hurts, and visa versa. I’m glad you like my portrayal of their characters. Thanks so much for the feedback.

AllegraGellar- I know I already thanked you for that wonderful feedback you left but thank you again.

MorgainePriestessOfAvalon- Hope your time machine worked. Wish I had one so that I could go back and stop a few things happening on Buffy that never should have, in fact in my mind they never did. Thanks for the feedback.

sam7777- Thanks so much for your feedback, it’s been great. I’m glad you liked the way I did the sabotaging of the spell scene. As I said above to The Rose 24, it never sat well with me. The reasons they seemed to give later on just don’t quite fit the way I’d always seen Tara.

Sappho- my favourite fics have always been the early ones too. Oh and by the way I stole the “I'm off to spread the joy which is both obvious and contagious.” From when Giles asks Willow if she’s ok (after her and Tara had their first ever fight) and she says she’s fine and he just goes “Oh yes coz your good mood is both obvious and contagious.” Or something like that, it always made me laugh which is quite a feat considering how much of that episode I spend pouting.

Anyway I’m sorry for the last update, I promise I’ll make it up to you with plenty of cuteness in the near future. Hmmm, I don’t quite know why Willow didn’t kiss her goodbye either… I was going to write it in but it just didn’t seem to fit…. Now I just need to work out why!! Heh heh. Thanks very much for your feedback.

Taras Shadow- last but not least. Thank you for your feedback. I forgive you for not leaving a reply sooner, that you did at all means your better than me. I’m always such a lurker. Heck it took me this long to say thank you to everyone- I’m a bad kitten!! I’m glad you’ve been enjoying the fic. Don’t worry about embarrassing yourself, babble as much as you like…. have you seen how much I babble?! Anyway thanks for your kind words, and yes me and my baby are very cute together, unless you have to put up with us for more than a few minutes with our constant “I love you’s” Just ask her poor sister!! Heh heh. Poor Missy. Anyway Thank you to everybody for the feedback. I’m off to go shower and then hopefully write some more before I go round my Daddy’s, yay. Hmmm, such a difference between that and my reaction to having to see my Mum…. Can’t think why.





Anyway thanks all for the feedback. More update later.



Love Helen xxxxxx

Edited by: Warduke at: 2/28/04 9:23 am

[Lost in blue]

Hi again Kittens!! It's that time again, time for another update. Another one of those with not much in the way of Willow and Tara but I promise the lovely Miss Maclay will be in the next part, like I can go more than one without my favourite girl, well second favourite after my girl of course. Anyway on with the update:



----



Willow got to Xander’s to find the others had had as little success as she had. If anything everything was even more confused. What had happened with the boy and the demon made no sense. To make matters worse Riley was in a state, he was going cold turkey from the drugs the Initiative had had him on. He was delirious and confused. They tried to stop him from leaving but he was too strong. Now all they could do was wait until Buffy and Xander returned, hopefully with some information, anything at all that might start them on the right track as to what was they were dealing with. Willow decided to go online to see if she could find any information on The Initiative, any secret projects they may have been working on. Giles sat researching Polgara demons to see if it might help them on where to start looking. Anya just sat there looking anxious, spouting the odd inappropriate comment. Usually Anya would annoy Willow but she could see how worried she was for Xander and didn’t really see how she could be opposed to that. She herself was only doing research to take her mind off her own worry and had no doubt that Giles was doing the very same thing.



A few hours had passed, nobody particularly speaking, except the odd “Hmmm,” from Giles when he found something of interest and the occasional “Ooh,” of excitement when Willow thought she was making progress.



Finally Buffy and Xander returned and filled them in on all that had happened. They explained about Adam, how he had been made by Professor Walsh as part of a secret project by the Initiative. They told them about Riley, how he was part of the same project, at least according to Adam. Willow did her best to comfort Buffy, she was clearly distressed over the fact that the Initiative still had Riley. They were all fairly positive that they wouldn’t hurt Riley, nonetheless they did not trust the commandos or their objectives. Nothing Willow or the others said seemed to give Buffy much comfort. Eventually Buffy just announced she was going to patrol, help clear her head. None of them tried argued.



They all decided to stay at Xander’s another night. They were fairly sure that they were safe now but they thought it would be best that they all be there for Buffy when she returned from patrol, or if Riley were to come back.



Willow lay awake that night. She knew that she should be thinking about everything that had been going on, that she should be focused on what they should do now with their new information. Her thoughts however were solely about Tara. She was feeling bad about the way she had left things that afternoon. She had barely even explained what was going on. She had just gone there and then when the spell hadn’t worked she had just left. She didn’t mean to neglect the other girl. It was just with everything going on she had been distracted.



Gods I didn’t even kiss her goodbye. What will she think? I know what I would have thought if it had been the other way around. I have to go there tomorrow, as soon as it’s daylight I have to go there and make up for that missed kiss. Hmmm, I wonder just how many kisses that will take. Willow smiled slightly at the thought of all those Tara-kisses but she still could not shake her guilt at how she had left that day.



First thing in the morning, I’ll go and see Tara. Willow promised herself.



Mmmm, Tara. Willow sighed softly and then drifted to sleep. Her last thoughts, as was becoming a regular occurrence, were of Tara.



.....to be continued.



----



Well I hope that was okay, despite the lack of Tara. Like I said she will be in the next part I promise.



Love Helen xxxxx

Edited by: Warduke at: 2/28/04 9:23 am

[SJ]

Awesome updates,like your take on S4,great read

[Gimpgirl]

Hey baby.....



Very awesome update. The lack of Taraness was ok because seeing things from Willow's perspective and stuff made it all better. I think I would have been just like Willow if I would have forgotten to kiss you goodbye, not like that would happen, I'm just saying.



Anyway-Before I start babbling I better go. But again I say more, more, more.



I love you.....



Michelle

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"just when you think you got me figured out the seasons already changing...."-Meredith Brooks

[sam darls]

That was so good. Loved it . I hope Tara is alright. Love sammi xx

"Sometimes things happen between people that you don't really expect. And sometimes the things that are important are the ones that seem the weirdest or the most wrong. And those are the ones that change your life." - Jessie Sammler (Evan Rachel Wood)

[Sappho]

Hooray, i'm so glad that Willow's lack of kiss will be made up for. Thanks for your replies to the feedback, I love hearing back from writing kittens. I can hardly wait for the next update.



~Sappho

Willow: Yeah, that’s me. Reliable dog geyser person.

***

Anya: Give me a beer. Bartender: I.D. Anya: [Looks at him w/ disbelief] Bartender: I.D.

Anya: I’m 1,120 years old!!! Just give me a friggin’ beer! Bartender: I.D. Anya: [Sigh] Give me a Coke.