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FIC: Eyes Of The Soul

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Re: Great update

Postby Jennpurr » Sun May 19, 2002 10:23 pm

Sam, Lookey for an e-mail from me. I'm sending it over here in a few minutes. ;) Thanks again.



Danie, Hee... yes.. she does a very big problem. Shame on your for forgetting though. :miff

Have a great Monday. Don't play too hard now. ;) Look for an update later. And a mouse? :lol Hee..



Thanks for the good vibes D. I'll need them. :D



TTYS girl,

Jen

-----------------------------------


"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. -from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette




Tara: Can you just be kissing me now?

Edited by: Jennpurr at: 5/19/02 9:24:16 pm
Jennpurr
 


Re: Great update

Postby The Next Tara Maclay » Sun May 19, 2002 10:27 pm

Waiting, Its hard to do, But I will wait.

The Next Tara Maclay
 


Re: Great update

Postby Jennpurr » Sun May 19, 2002 10:40 pm

Thank you. :D



It won't be too much longer. ;)



Take care,

Jen

-----------------------------------


"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. -from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette




Tara: Can you just be kissing me now?

Jennpurr
 


Re: Well Well Well

Postby eccentrictulip » Mon May 20, 2002 6:01 pm

this is GREAT!!! all sorts of fun twists. more please.....

*please use both hands....*

eccentrictulip
 


Re: Well Well Well

Postby Jennpurr » Mon May 20, 2002 9:25 pm

Awww, thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying it.



I'll have more up soon, I promise. ;)



Jen

-----------------------------------


"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. -from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette




Tara: Can you just be kissing me now?

Jennpurr
 


Re: Well Well Well

Postby Vampire Willow » Tue May 21, 2002 5:38 pm

I really liked this part of the story! Keep going. I wish that you could have a W/T/B ending but the board say "no". Too bad. I can't wait to see what you do next.

~Willow :evil

"I'm so evil and skanky and I think I'm kinda gay." - Willow, in Doppelgangland

Vampire Willow
 


Re: Well Well Well

Postby Jennpurr » Tue May 21, 2002 10:07 pm

Awww... I sooo love your avatar. OMG.. makes me miss Miss Kitty. :( She's so cute!



Glad you liked it. Eh...W/T is enough to make me happy. I have to admit, I like the W/T/B stories, but our girls by themselves are more than I could ever ask for. I just wish Joss wasn't such a bastard. Grr... I'm still upset/angry about the finale. I can't believe they ended it like that. :cry .. poor Willow. She had me balling like a baby. :( So did Giles. I sooo miss him.



Anyway... more soon.



Jen

-----------------------------------


"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. -from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette




Tara: Can you just be kissing me now?

Jennpurr
 


Re: Update: Chapter 2

Postby lisa h » Wed May 22, 2002 10:02 am

jen

sorry...and you're welcome (he, he) for the mix-up in the "angels" thread. hope you enjoyed your visit to the study? seems as though i should have been right there with you, but...anyway, i need to read the author, rather than last posted. sorry

meanwhile, i'm enjoying the story. i was waiting for someone to reintroduce amy so she could get hers.



i was recommending early "just met" kind of fics to my friend; they're safe and they warm my heart in these tough times.



meanwhile some amy finally getting hers wouldn't hurt either..so more please : )

lisa



lisa h
 


Re: Update: Chapter 2

Postby Jennpurr » Wed May 22, 2002 10:16 am

Hey Lisa,



No... that was my little goof. But, when I read it again, it did like you were talking to me. :lol Don't worry about it. Somehow I thought I was posting here. Don't ask me. I think I was brain dead the other day. :lol Anyway... yes... had much fun in the study. ;)



Glad you are liking this. I have never liked Amy, and I think it shows. She'll get what's coming to her soon. Don't worry. ;)



Yes, the just met fics are so touching. I just love them. I'm still so heartbroken over all this. :( :(



More soon, I promise. :)



Jen





-----------------------------------


"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. -from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette




Tara: Can you just be kissing me now?

Edited by: Jennpurr at: 5/22/02 9:17:31 am
Jennpurr
 


Re: Update: Chapter 2

Postby jdcioffi » Wed May 22, 2002 10:25 am

Soon means ... now? Yes?



(Not-so-patiently) Waiting ... ;)

JD

"I smell the smelly smell of something that smells smelly!" (SpongeBob Squarepants)

jdcioffi
 


update: chapter 2

Postby fidds » Wed May 22, 2002 10:28 am

i love this fic, it's very descriptive and well written! :grin



*Hannah*

fidds
 


Re: update: chapter 2

Postby Jennpurr » Wed May 22, 2002 11:47 am

jdcioffi - I'm just waiting on my lovely beta to get back to me. **Cough, Sam, Cough** ;)



fidds - Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Glad you are liking it. Hope you continue too.



Jen

-----------------------------------


"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. -from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette




Tara: Can you just be kissing me now?

Edited by: Jennpurr at: 5/22/02 10:47:27 am
Jennpurr
 


Re: update: chapter 2

Postby Hotfoot » Wed May 22, 2002 11:59 am

:bounce



I really like this fic so far..it is such a novel concept and really well written. I can't wait for the next part..hence the bouncing. :grin







Hotfoot
 


thank you

Postby fidds » Wed May 22, 2002 12:02 pm

hi Jennpurr - *sigh* everyone is so nice and friendly :)

your welcome- i'm just appreciating your work :)

fidds
 


Update: Part 3

Postby Jennpurr » Wed May 22, 2002 12:06 pm

You all are soo sweet. :love I don't know what to say. I didn't know what people were going to think about my crazy mind, but I'm glad you all are liking this. Thanks for all the kind words. I really appreciate you guys. ;)



Jen





Title: Eyes Of The Soul

Author: Jennifer

Copyright © 2002 by Jennifer Johnson

Feedback: jennpurr@yahoo.com or truthotheart@aol.com Please, give me feedback. Good or bad. Feel free to tell me what you think. Or just post it here.

Disclaimers: All characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. This is solely for my entertainment. Please do not copyright this story.

F/F romance: If the idea of a same sex relationship bothers you, please do not read this story.

Pairings: W/T (eventually, of course) , X/A

Spoilers: Season 6. This is set after Seeing Red, but Tara never dies at the hands of Warren. The rest is just my own creativity. Oh, and Giles never left.

Summary: Tara is missing, or so the Scoobies think. What will happen when they find her?

Rating: R. Angst, violence, and adult content (eventually) ;)

My Thanks: To Sam (Blue77) and Danie. Thanks for being my beta and for helping me out with all the suggestions. You truly are gifted for writing. Both of you. I hope you continue to do so. ;) Oh, and Danie... don't forget the catnip. ;)

Author's Notes: This is my first attempt at writing Buffy fan fiction, so please tell me what you think. I usually write fan fiction for ER. I apologize for the heavy subject of W/T angst in this story, especially after what has happened to Tara. These thoughts have been floating around in my brain lately and I just wanted to see if I could turn them into a story. Willow and Tara WILL have a happy ending, if that helps. Let’s just hope we get that on the show. Some of the inspiration for this came from “Unexpected Consequences.” Lisa’s a genius. Thanks for your story Lisa. :D



Eyes Of The Soul: Chapter 3/?

By: Jennifer





Willow let out a frustrated sigh. She has been researching through the books Giles had given her for hours now and still hadn’t found anything useful to help break the spell around Tara. Most references referred to dark magic incantations. This was an obvious no go. Willow would not use dark magic, no matter what the cost. She made a promise, to herself and to Tara that she would never tap into it again.



“Willow… most of the references you ought to stay away from. I wouldn’t suggest trying them.”



Looking up the redhead met the worried eyes of Giles. “I know… I’m not going to.”



“Good,” he said as he went back to reading. “Although, there is one thing that we might have overlooked. Look here.” He handed the book over to Willow. “Of course, this would only work if we actually knew where Tara was physically.”



Taking the book from the watcher, she read over the paragraph he had indicated.



“You have a good day.” Anya said cheerfully, as she handed a customer her purchase and sent her on her way. After securing her money, she went over to where Giles and Willow were commandeering the research table. “Find anything?”



“I believe we have, yes.” He said with a smile.



“Oh… phone.” Anya rushed over to the beckoning phone.



“Giles, is it really this simple?” Willow looked up from her book. “It is, isn’t it?”



Giles removed his glasses and started wiping the lenses. “It is. We just have to find Tara now.”



“…But… now we’re back to the beginning. How am I supposed to find her?”



Somewhat defeated, Giles stood to his feet and walked over, kneeling in front of Willow. “There has to be a way. We will find it. Maybe you should try the guiding spell again?”



“I guess, but it didn’t work before.”



“Yes, I’m aware of that. Maybe this time try doing it alone. The fact that Buffy was doing it with you last time, may have caused some interference of some sort.” He squeezed her knee. “I will keep watch over you the whole time, if you like. If you don’t want to do this alone?”



Willow looked up into the soft green eyes of the watcher. “I can do it. I’ll do it here, so you guys are around. I just… need this to work, Giles. I need Tara back.”



“We’ll get her back.” Giles gave Willow a half hug as he stood to his feet. “I suggest we wait till sundown this time. Perhaps a change in the time of day will help.”



The redhead gave him a nod and stretched. She let her mind wander back to the book in front of her. She would keep looking. Maybe she could find another way to make the spell work.



*****



Tara’s expressive blue eyes were patiently staring into Amy’s, as she paced in the cage. Walking from side to side with a passive expression, her eyes pleaded with the other witch. She hated being locked in this cage. Ever since Amy had kidnapped her and locked her up, she had tried to guilt the witch into letting her go. Tara would look at her with such sadness in her eyes or she would refuse to eat when the other girl offered her food.       



The hard thing was keeping her feral form under control. Tara was not an aggressive person by nature. She could never hurt another person willingly. Most of her human senses were with her in this form, but Tara found herself feeling threatened more times then not by the witch. When this came into play, the feral form took over.



Amy had found herself several times, mere inches from bodily harm. If she stood too close to the cage when Tara was in a foul disposition, she would strike out at Amy. The former rat had the lacerations to prove it. The Jaguar’s razor sharp claws had clipped her flesh on more than one occasion.



As Tara’s powerful paws padded the cement back and forth, she thought back to the day when Amy kidnapped her. Tara had been walking to Buffy’s house from the library on campus. The sun had just gone down, so she was in a hurry to get to the slayers. As she approached the house, from a few driveways away, something had suddenly hit her. It hadn’t been a physical object, but a mystical blow. When it collided with her body, she had fallen to the ground unconscious. The mystical power packing enough punch to shock her motionless; when she had come to, she was in a cage. Amy had magicically teleported her there.       



Tara’s voice had sobbed and called out desperately to be released from the cage, but to no avail. Her magic wouldn’t work on the cage. It was magically bound. Amy quickly had grown tired of her cries and ultimately changed her form, so she could no longer cry out. Her magic was useless as well, in this state.



Amy’s reasoning for holding Tara was to get back at Willow. She hated that the redhead had given up magic; and for what, to please her girlfriend? ‘No one leaves me out in the cold like that,’ the blonde had vowed. The witch hadn’t seen Willow yet. The idea of stopping by the Magic Box or Buffy’s house had popped into her mind a few times. ‘Maybe I’ll pay Willow a visit soon,’ Amy had told herself.       



Tara’s thoughts returned to the present as she stopped pacing and stood still, staring Amy down. Her eyes willing a challenge, or was it more of a plea? Her ears lie flat against her head; body somewhat low to the ground, tail tucked.



“If I let you out, you better come back on time or I’ll deliver another care package to you.” Amy’s care package would be a magical shock that would leave Tara yowling in pain. This she did not want.



The black cat stood silent briefly watching the other witch. As Amy stepped closer to the cage, Tara expectantly jumped up against the bars of the cage, her paws gripping tightly to the steel before dropping back to the floor.



As Amy opened the door, her eyes challenged the feline to behave. It was a look Tara knew well. If she showed aggression towards the other girl, she would be zapped with magic and locked back up.



So Tara was calm. She hesitantly stepped to the cage door. Locking her blue eyes with Amy, she cautiously ran out of the cage and over to the door at the back of the room.



“Don’t disappoint me now, Tara,” the witch said as she magic’d the door open from her position beside the cage.



Tara let out a grateful roar, before taking off running up the steps leading to the ground level. She ran in the shadows as to not be seen. It had become a routine with her. She could tell by the appearance of the sky that it was nearing 8 P.M. Buffy should be on patrol by now. So Tara set off to do what she normally did when Amy let her out. She would watch over Buffy, hoping Willow would be with her tonight. At least this way, she could catch a glimpse of her beloved. One thing she wouldn’t do was cross Amy, for fear of her life. Tara knew what she might do and she didn’t want to find herself in that position.



Taking off towards the cemetery, the bushes would be her cover. This way she could watch over Buffy and Willow, if she was there, and not be seen. Tara knew if Willow or Buffy saw her, they would run away. This is what she didn’t want. If the situation prevailed, then Tara would leave her confinement in the bushes and help, but if not, she would just protect from a distance.



*****



“Come on Alex. Time to wakey, wakey. Time to slay. That means Mr. Pointy has a date with you.” Buffy was perched on a fresh grave’s head stone, waiting for its resident to rise, as she twirled her stake in her right hand.



Alex was only 20. He had been walking home from a football game when a vamp attacked him. “Don’t people know it’s not safe to walk the streets of Sunnydale at night?” She looked down under her feet at the fresh dirt. “I guess not.”



Just then the dirt under her feet started to shift. She jumped off the gravestone and stood expectantly in front of it. As Alex rose from the fresh ground beneath him, he looked around confused. Buffy didn’t give him the chance to fully rise. She sunk the stake in his chest and watched as his ashes showered the soil. “Come on guys. You’re making this slaying gig too easy.”



She wasn’t complaining though. Buffy enjoyed an easy night when the vamps didn’t give her problems. It was pretty quite tonight. This was her first kill and quite possibly her only slaying for the night. That would be fine. Willow wasn’t there to keep her company, so she was kind of bummed anyway. Willow.



Buffy had racked her brain trying to come up with something to say to her best friend when she did eventually go back home. She was coming up short. She knew the first question to her would be, ‘Where have you been?’ or ‘Why did you run away?’ What was she to say to her? She couldn’t very well tell her the real reason why she wigged, could she? Buffy wasn’t expecting anything from Willow by telling her the truth. She just knew that she couldn’t keep this a secret for very much longer. It was tearing her up.



“God Willow, what am I supposed to do?” She asked the air around her. “I can’t just tell you I’m in love with you AND your girlfriend.” Buffy stopped walking. ‘Wait… is this love? Am I really in love with them or could this be something else? Ahhhh… I don’t even know what I’m feeling.’



Buffy was unaware of the eyes following her every move from the bushes nearby. Tara was doing her duty to watch over her friend. Her eyes expressed confusion upon hearing what Buffy had just said. ‘She’s in love with Willow AND me? Well, I can understand about Willow, but ME? So… that’s what’s been going on with Buffy. I knew she was acting weird. I just couldn’t figure it out. Oh Buffy… I wish you would have said something. We could have talked about this.’ Tara blinked. ‘Is she scared? She’s probably scared.’               



                                       

Tara and Buffy’s reverie was interrupted by a deep male voice. “The Slayer!”



Buffy quickly turned around on her feet and saw five vampires approaching. They sprouted out as if they were going to surround her. “You guys picked the wrong night.” She grabbed another stake from her jacket and twirled it around. “Wanna party boys? Take your best shot.”



All at once they surrounded her. Buffy fought them off to the best to her ability, staking one quickly. He appeared to be the new comer to the group. Not very smart, but the others pounced on her. She was ultimately overpowered. Two of the vamps pushed her to the ground as the other two kicked and attacked her. Buffy tried to take her power back. She managed to yank an arm free and punch one of the vamps near her face. He doubled back holding his nose, blood flowing from it.



“Grab her!” One of them yelled.



The two vampires holding her down gripped her arms and yanked her up off the ground.



Buffy let out a yelp when a fist met her stomach. It was a hard blow. She retaliated by kicking him and sending him flying. The other vamp in front of her charged, but she lifted her legs up off the ground and kicked him, sending him stumbling back. He quickly recovered and charged at her again, this time catching her off guard as she was trying to break free of the grip on her arms. He quickly took her to the ground and the other two started attacking as well. The one, who took her down squirmed his way up to her neck and was about to sink his fangs in her flesh when a fierce growl from behind caught his attention.



Whipping his head around, he saw something approaching from the shadows. He looked down at the slayer and quickly stood to his feet. He kicked Buffy in the ribs as he stood, but then spun around to focus on the approaching form. His eyes grew big as he realized what it was. Just then another growl found his ears and he started to back up.



The vampire Buffy had sent flying tried to attack the approaching newcomer, but failed. He was pounced on and with a fatal blow to the neck, which severed it from the spine he was turned to dust. When the other vamps made eye contact with the newcomer, they suddenly became petrified.



Tara went low to the ground, ears lying back, fangs barred. She let out a deathly growl and charged a few steps forward before stopping. Her pupils were very small. She hissed at the vampires, before charging a few more steps forward. Tara swung one of her front paws in front of her at a lightening fast speed as another growl penetrated the air.



The two vamps holding Buffy looked at each other, before dropping their grip on the blonde and taking off running in the other direction.



Buffy stumbled to the side, petrified of what was before her. She didn’t know what to do, so she just stood still. Staring at the large pissed off cat.



The remaining vampire stood still staring the cat down.



Tara’s eyes locked with the vampire as she hissed at him. She stood perfectly still willing him to move. When he didn’t, she charged forward again, her front paw shot out and her nails clipped him on the leg.



He doubled over with pain and she saw her opportunity. Tara pounced the vampire and her fangs clamped down on his neck with a deathly grip. He quickly turned to dust.



Buffy had attempted to back away from the scene, but had tripped and fell.



Tara sneezed, the vamp dust having filled her nostrils. Once she regained her composure, she looked over at Buffy. She was terrified. Tara had never seen her this way. She couldn’t blame her though. If it had been herself, she would have been just as petrified.



Turning her body towards the Slayer, Tara hung her head low to the ground. Her ears lying back as she slowly trotted forward. She crept lower to the ground with each step as she finally approached Buffy, showing her submission.



Buffy closed her eyes and fell onto her back. ‘Oh God, what do I do? It’s gonna kill me. I know it is. It’s gonna…’ Her thoughts were cut short when the cat looked down at her. Its nose, mere inches from her face. The cat’s eyes were soft, but the ears were now standing tall. That’s when she heard a noise. It was a soft fluttery noise that almost sounded like a fan. ‘No… that’s a purring sound, it’s purring at me!’ Buffy froze when the cat lowered its head and its nose touched hers.



Tara nuzzled Buffy’s face, her soft fur playing with the skin on the blonde’s cheek. ‘Buffy, you’re safe now.’ She said in her thoughts. When she pulled away from the slayers face, she moved back a little, but leaned down toward her chest. Tara’s teeth hooked onto Buffy’s shirt and she started pulling back.



The slayer was confused, but she quickly figured out the cat was trying to help her sit up. When she did, the feline rubbed against her arms and chest, almost knocking her over again with it’s full body weight. Without thinking, Buffy lifted a hand up and petted the soft fur of the cat.



Tara purred as Buffy scratched her ears. She pulled back a little and looked into the blonde’s eyes. Tara’s eyes were full of love and affection.



Buffy reached up again to pet Tara’s ears, which made her purr loudly again with satisfaction.



Pulling her head back somewhat, her long sandpapery tongue found the slayers skin of her hand and she affectionately gave it a lick. Stepping forward she looked at her friend and stood still briefly, before leaning forward and nuzzling her neck once. Then without warning she pulled back, purred once more and ran off in the other direction.



This left Buffy very confused. She watched the feline run off. Her heart was still pounding wildly in her chest. “WOW!” Climbing to her feet, she let her eyes scan in the direction where Tara had ran off in. Noticing the feline was gone, she quickly ran off the other way to go home. She was still confused. ‘Why didn’t that cat try to eat me?’ This was her only thought.



*****



The back door opened just as Giles was pouring himself a cup of coffee. Startled, he turned to find himself meeting the eyes of Buffy. “Are you quite alright?” He said, noticing the bruise on her left cheek.



“I’m fine Giles. Just battle wounds.” She smiled at the older man.



“Wounds? Were you hurt elsewhere?” He asked concerned, as he approached her.



“It’s nothing. I got kicked a few times. I’m fine. How are things here?” Buffy tried to change the subject.



“Oh, things are fine. Willow and Dawn are asleep.” Giles noticed her flinch somewhat at the mention of the redhead. “Buffy, is everything alright with you and Willow? She told me you ran out on her earlier.” He motioned for her to sit with him at the island.



Buffy sat down, but she didn’t speak. ‘What am I supposed to say to him? I can’t just tell him, can I? Will he even understand? I don’t even understand. How am I supposed…’



Her thoughts were disrupted by Giles’ voice. “Are you alright, Buffy? Would you like to talk about it?”



“Talk about what?” She said dumbfounded.



“What ever it is that has you acting this way?”



“What way?” The slayer asked curiously.



“Like this. You’re acting defensively.”



“I am not.” She snapped. “I am doing no such thing!” Her voice was rising.



“Buffy, keep your voice down. Willow’s asleep in the living room. Now will you please tell me what is the matter? Maybe I can help.”



Standing up, “There is nothing wrong.”



“What’s goin’ on?” Willow asked from the doorway. She was awoken by voices and wanted to see what the commotion was about. “Buffy!” The redhead ran over to the slayer when she caught site of her and pulled her into a hug. “You scared me. Where did you go? Did I do something wrong? Why did you run away?” She pulled away from her friend.



Buffy just stared back at Willow. She didn’t know what to say. She knew Willow would be worried about her and her reaction was just as she had predicted it would be. She was full of questions. Questions the slayer didn’t want to answer and didn’t know how to answer. So, she just looked away from her friend’s questioning eyes and stepped back.



“Buffy, what’s wrong?” She could see the emotions playing out on the other girl’s face.



“I can’t do this right now.” Buffy tried to walk around Willow, but a hand gripping her wrist stopped her.



“No! You’re gonna talk to me. You scared me, Buffy. I want to know why you ran away from me. Did I do something wrong?” Her confusion was apparent on her features.



“You did nothing wrong, Will. It’s me.” A tear streaked down her cheek.



“Why are you crying? Buffy, please… talk to me.” She pleaded.



Giles cleared his throat. “I’ll just leave you two alone.” He said as he left the kitchen. He didn’t know what had his slayer so emotional, but he knew they would like their privacy.



Lifting her eyes, Buffy met Willows. They were filled with tears and confusion. She knew she was the cause of that and it made her sick to her stomach. Willow had shed enough tears over the past few weeks. Buffy didn’t want to be the cause of anymore.



“Buffy?” Willow took a tentative step to her friend.



Seeing her approach, she gave in. Her tears fell over and she wrapped her arms around Willow. “I’m sorry, Will. I’m sorry I ran away from you.”



“It’s okay.” She said as she held her friend. “Just tell me what’s wrong? Please?”



Buffy pulled back from the embrace and pulled Willow’s hand to make her sit down next to her on the chairs by the Island. After a moment of staring at the floor and working up her courage, she finally just let the words fall from her lips. “I love you, Will and I love Tara.”



Willow smiled, “Well… we love you, too.”



“No… I LOVE you, Will.” She looked back down at the floor.



Willow tilted her head and studied Buffy’s face. Her eyes grew big when she realized what she meant. “Buffy! You’re straight!”



“Willow! Shhh… Giles is in the next room.”



She looked toward the door to make sure they were still alone. “What do you mean, you love us? You’re straight.” The redhead paused for a minute. “Wait… is there something you need to tell me? Have you been keeping secrets from me? I’m your best friend! You can talk to me about anything. Especially… stuff. Hello, gay now! There’s nothing you can’t tell me. I’m always…”



“Will?” Buffy laughed at her friends rambling.



“Yeah?” She asked, finally quieting her babble.



“I know I can talk to you. I just don’t know what to say. I don’t understand this stuff.” Buffy said honestly.



“Well, what stuff? Can you be more specific? I can’t read your mind, you know.” She squeezed her hand.



All the blonde could do was smile. “Just, these feelings. They’re confusing. I’m not even sure what they are.” Buffy looked up and caught Willow’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”



“Don’t apologize, Buffy.” She reached for her friend’s hand. “Just tell me.” Willow sat patiently waiting for her friend to go on, but Buffy wasn’t going to. “I-is it because of Spike? Is it because you think something’s wrong because of what happened?”



Shaking her head, “I don’t know. I just feel so empty. I feel so alone.” Buffy started to tremble.



“Buffy… you’re not alone. We’re your friends; no… we’re your family. You’re not alone, Buff. You never are.” Willow said compassionately.



The slayer gave her a smile. “I know that, Will. It’s just… I feel so drawn to the two of you. Like, it’s supposed to be that way. I don’t know.”



“Buffy, Tara’s my life. I don’t know what I would do without her. Living without her was killing me. And this now, with her out there somewhere… I feel so lost. She’s my everything, Buffy.” Willow looked down at her hand holding onto the blonde’s. “I miss her, so much.”



“I think I’m kinda jealous, Will. Maybe that’s what’s going on with me. I see you and Tara, and I can’t help but smile. You two are so made for each other. I just wish I had someone like that in my life.”



Looking back up, “You will. You’ll find him, or should I say her?” Willow smirked.



Buffy playfully kicked her friend’s leg. “Very funny, Will. I guess that’s for me to find out, huh?”



“You never know.” She teased, “So, are you switching teams now?” Willow had a grin from ear to ear.



“WILLOW!”



All the redhead could do was laugh.



“I don’t know. I think I’m just conflicted right now. Seeing you and Tara… I just get tummy rumblings with you two. You’re the real thing, my light at the end of the tunnel. I’m just so happy for you.”



“Awww… thank you Buff. There’s nothing wrong with loving a woman, if that’s what you’re feeling right now. Just be sure. It’s a process; it’s not something that can just happen over night. You’ll find the right person for you, and when you do… you’ll just know. Just go with it.” She squeezed Buffy’s hand again.



“Thanks Willow. I’m so glad you’re not mad at me. I was so scared.” She replied honestly.



“Buffy… I was scared too. When you ran out, I thought I had done something wrong. I’m glad I was wrong. Just… don’t be afraid to talk to me from now on, okay? I’m not going to be mad at you for being honest.” Willow stood up from the stool. “NOW… give me another hug.”



“Yes ma’am.” She smiled and hugged her best friend. “Thank you, Wills.”



“I love you, Buff. Tara loves you, too. We’ll always be here for you.”



“I love you, too. Same for you.”



They gave each other a final squeeze before stepping back. Buffy’s eyes suddenly went wide. “ OH… Giles!” She ran into the living room, pulling Willow along with her.



Giles was sitting on the couch with his legs crossed reading a book. He saw the two women approach and he smiled. “Are you two quite alright?”



Smiling at each other, “We’re fine Giles. Do you have a minute for watcher talk?” Buffy sat on the couch next to him.



“Oh… yes, Buffy. What’s the matter?” He said in an alarmed tone. Fully prepared to accept whatever news she was about to enlighten him with.



“Well, I’m not sure. Tonight on patrol, there was this cat, this huge cat. It attacked.”



Willow sat next to Buffy. “It attacked you?” her voice full of fear and worry.



“No, not me. It attacked the vampires. It… protected me.”



“Dear lord.” Giles said concerned. “You’re quite positive?”



Looking at her watcher, “Yeah. It killed two of the vamps and ran the other two off. Then, I thought it was going to eat me or something, but it… it purred at me.” Buffy said in awe.



“It purred at you? Like a little kitty?” Willow was smiling now.



“That is rather odd.” Giles was dumbfounded. He pinched the bridge of his nose.



“Giles, what could this mean? That thing was huge. It easily could have killed me, with its teeth alone, but it didn’t. The cat just rubbed up against me, licked my hand, and then ran off. Oh…” She turned to Willow, “It purred at me again, before it ran away.”



“That is strange. I’m not sure what this means. And there was no sign that it wanted to or would harm you?” He asked questioningly.



“Nope. It was nice to me. I think it was protecting me, but why would a huge cat protect me?” Buffy looked at Giles in question.



“I don’t know. Perhaps we should do some research and see if anything like this is referenced. It is rather peculiar. The fact that it didn’t attack you and protected you, would suggest that it favored you. And you’ve never seen the cat before?”



The slayer shook her head. “Never.”



“What did it look like?” Willow asked curiously.



“It was black, but I could see lighter patches on its body. Like little squares of lighter colored hair. The eyes were blue.”



“Sounds lovely,” Giles smiled.



“Blue? Is that normal? Don’t cats usually have green eyes? Its eyes should be green. All the large cats have yellow, or green eyes. I’ve never seen blue before.” Willow said indignantly. “Oh… maybe it’s possessed!” She shook her head up and down.



“Willow, I’m sure there’s an explanation. We’ll do research tomorrow and see if we can’t find anything. This is the Hellmouth. It is quite possible that might have something to do with it. Maybe we can find something out tomorrow. In the mean time, I suggest you rest. It’s late. We can talk about this more in the morning.” He spoke in protective father mode.



Buffy yawned as if on cue. “I am kinda tired.”



“Then you should rest. Tomorrow we’ll try to get to the bottom of this.” Giles promised.



Standing, Willow and Buffy both headed for the stairs. “Goodnight, Giles.” They said in unison.



“Goodnight, Buffy. Willow. Have a restful sleep.” He smiled warmly at them.



Once upstairs Willow paused at the top. “Buffy?”



Turning towards her, “Yeah?”



“Thanks.” She smiled.



“For what?” Buffy arched an eyebrow.



“For telling me.”



Buffy gave Willow a hug. “Thanks for not being mad at me. Goodnight, Wills.”



“Night, Buff. And I don’t think I could ever be mad at you.” As she pulled away, Willow took hold of Buffy’s hand and gave it a loving squeeze. “See you tomorrow.” She let her hand drop from the slayers and stepped to her door. The redhead gave her one last smile before closing her door behind her.



The blonde watched her friend close the door. She smiled in the general direction of Willow’s room, happy for the way things had turned out tonight. “You’re pretty special, Will.” She whispered before walking into her own room and closing the door.



*****



End of part 3

-----------------------------------


"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. -from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette




Tara: Can you just be kissing me now?

Edited by: Jennpurr  at: 7/7/02 11:01:00 pm
Jennpurr
 


Re: Update: Part 3

Postby Tiggrscorpio » Fri May 24, 2002 8:22 am

Jennpurr, I just caught up with this story and I have to say it is intriguing. Your description of Tara as a jaguar was so well written. I loved the scene with Tara protecting Buffy. It was just so butch of Tara. Beautifully done. I hope you have a painful torture planned for Amy.



Wonderful first fic. Keep going!

*****

She's my everything!

Tiggrscorpio
 


Re: Update: Part 3

Postby fidds » Fri May 24, 2002 9:37 am

Great update!!

They were so close to figuring out that the Jaguar was Tara!

-love Tara's protectiveness for her friends-

can't wait for the next update !! :grin



*Hannah*:)

fidds
 


Re: Update: Part 3

Postby Miss1234Kitty » Fri May 24, 2002 1:09 pm

That was so sweet! I always thought of Willow as the butch one, but Tara's protecting Buffy was so cute. Please continue with the fic - it's adorable. Bad Amy - wait a minute. I LIKE Amy. Make her nice. Can she have been posessed and really be sweet and kind. Maybe Buffy and Amy... didn't think so.



Gem

Miss1234Kitty
 


Re: Update: Part 3

Postby Vampire Willow » Fri May 24, 2002 3:44 pm

I really..um...whats the word... LOVED this chapter!! Keep it commin! I want more. NOWWWWWW!

~Willow :evil

"I'm so evil and skanky and I think I'm kinda gay." - Willow, in Doppelgangland

Vampire Willow
 


Re: Update: Part 3

Postby 01Danie » Sat May 25, 2002 9:51 pm

You could always keep Tara as a Jaguar... :evil



.....or not... :D



Can't wait for part four, see what else you sling into the kettle to disrupt the fishies....been wicked fun so far....



And I got the catnip, but lost the cat. I think Gene Hackman took her... (Okay...so I just watched Enemy of the State, and still don't get the cat thing...but that's OT...)



We'll all be happy

and not sore

when we get

and read part four



:cool ;)

01Danie
 


Re: Update: Part 3

Postby Jennpurr » Sat May 25, 2002 10:01 pm

**Tiggrscorpio - I'm glad you find it that way. I can't tell you how much I am enjoying your fic, as well. :)

I love big cats. I've done alot of studying and observing them. Kind of an obsession of mine. I'm glad the description worked. Hee hee... I thought it would be cute to have Tara be protective of Buffy. Plus it's the cat's nature.

Thank you for the compliments and thank you for reading.

Amy... I have something planned. ;)



**fidds - Thank you, Hannah. ;)

I couldn't have them find out it was Tara yet.. that would spoil all the fun. :grin

I think Tara would be protective of her friends, if given the chance. We saw how she stood up for Willow in "Older And Far Away." I think it's in her nature. Glad you are still liking this.



**Miss1234Kitty - Hey Gem. Glad you liked it.

I'm definitely going to continue, it's just trying to get my muse in gear. It's really hung up on everything that's going on with Buffy right now. :mad

You like Amy, huh? I have something in mind, you'll just have to wait and see. ;)



**Vampire Willow - Aww, thanks. I'm glad you LOVED it. :grin I'm workin on it. :) Don't worry. There'll be more.



**Danie - Keep Tara as a kitty??? Hmmm... I think you would go broke buying catnip for her. :lol

Awww.... thank you, my partner in crime. Glad you are enjoying this.

Danie, what am I gonna do with you? You lost the cat?? :miff Tsk Tsk Tsk That just won't do, girl. I could sick a Jaguar on you. Hee hee... ;) That little rhyme is cute! :love Awww... More soon, my friend. Thanks for reading AGAIN, D. ;)





Thanks guys. More soon, I hope. It may be a little while. My muse is depressed right now, but maybe I can work on some tomorrow.

Jen



-----------------------------------


"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. -from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette




Tara: Can you just be kissing me now?

Edited by: Jennpurr at: 5/25/02 9:09:29 pm
Jennpurr
 


Re: Update: Part 3

Postby fidds » Sun May 26, 2002 7:15 am

hi Jennpurr can't wait for the next update :grin



*Hannah*

fidds
 


Re: Update: Part 3

Postby capricornmist » Sun May 26, 2002 9:04 am

Fantastic for your first W/T fic!



I loved your description of Tara as a jaguar, very beautifully written.



Thank you!

-------------------------

"Nothing like gettin your ass kicked, to make your ass hurt!"

Buffy Series 5

capricornmist
 


Re: Update: Part 3

Postby Jennpurr » Sun May 26, 2002 10:44 am

Hannah, Thanks for reading. Hopefully soon. Anyone feel like giving my muse a swift kick? :)



capricornmist, Why, thank you. I appreciate that. :D

Glad you liked this part. I tried to get the descriptions down the best I could. I guess my love for kitties shows, huh? ;) And you are very welcome. :)



Have a good Sunday and holiday everybody. Be safe. I'm going to try to get muse to cooperate to write some today.



Jen



-----------------------------------


"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. -from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette




Tara: Can you just be kissing me now?

Jennpurr
 


Update

Postby Drakkenfyre » Sun May 26, 2002 5:21 pm

Well My Little Private, smiled the General. I am quite pleased by this report. It was absolutely wonderful. You are a treasure to behold. I will however expect another report soon. Very soon. *General turns and walks away towards her quarters* You coming with me or not Private?

"In my world there are people in chains and we ride them like ponies."

Drakkenfyre
 


Keys to a Happy Muse

Postby 01Danie » Sun May 26, 2002 8:24 pm

Found the cat, cat went crazy in the stock 'o catnip...not a pretty sight....bouncing cat. From one end of the room to the other... :bounce 8o :bounce



So...let's see...to perk up your muse....



Chocolate is always good, or :willow and :tara , or...or...wait...I have it... :D



:tara & :willow in...*cough cough* I mean.... & chocolate



Danie, PG Girl :)

01Danie
 


Re: Keys to a Happy Muse

Postby Jennpurr » Mon May 27, 2002 12:57 am

Drakkenfyre- :grin Why thank you, General. You are so sweet. I really appreciate that. Thank you. :love

Hmm... report soon? I can do that. ;)

And oooooh... **running after the General, following her to her quarters** :drool



Danie, You are a nut, girl. Hee hee.. but, that's okay. I like ya anyway. ;)



Went crazy with the catnip, huh? LMFAO.. that is so funny. That sounds like one of my cats :lol Very funny, D. :lol And hey, you perked up my muse without me even knowing it. :D I finished part 4 tonight. YAY!!! Check your e-mail, BTW. ;)

Mmmmm... Chocolate covered :willow and :tara , is that what you were going to say? :drool That'll work. :love DUDE.. now I've got that image stuck in my head. Thank you Danie. ;)



Anyway, check your e-mail, red. Nice surprise waiting for you. :D



Jen



Hey guys. I'm working on getting the next part posted. I'm just waiting on my lovely beta to get back to me. I have part 5 almost finished. Hopefully I'll have that up soon as well.



Hang tight guys. Thanks for reading.



Jen





Edited by: DrG at: 6/9/02 12:11:45 pm
Jennpurr
 


Re: No update, yet

Postby Shinnen » Thu May 30, 2002 2:19 am

Jen!



Cool fic. Like it much. Looking forward to the next update. :bounce



Do send me pictures of Buffy and Amy for your request. :D I'm rather free now on the wallpaper side of W/T goodness scale.



Shinnen

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

When I Am Standing On My Head, The Sky Is So Deep And The Sea Is So High.

Shinnen
 


Re: No update, yet

Postby Jennpurr » Fri May 31, 2002 12:12 am

Hey Shinnen, :)



Awww, thank ya. Glad you liked it. I hope to have something posted soon.



And I'll get right on those pics. If I can't find a pic of Amy, I'll just drop that part, but I'll try to find some and get them sent to you. If not tom, I'll try to do that this weekend. Thanks again for agreeing to do this for me. :grin I appreciate it.



Jen

-----------------------------------


"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. -from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette




“That’s like, two drinks and a light switch away from being totally gay.” Joel from "Final Exam" by Ruth

Jennpurr
 


Update: Chapter 4

Postby Jennpurr » Sat Jun 01, 2002 11:31 am

Title: Eyes Of The Soul

Author: Jennifer

Copyright © 2002 by Jennifer Johnson

Feedback: jennpurr@yahoo.com or truthotheart@aol.com Please, give me feedback. Good or bad. Feel free to tell me what you think. Or just post it here.

Disclaimers: All characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. This is solely for my entertainment. Please do not copyright this story.

Pairings: W/T (eventually, of course) , X/A

Spoilers: Season 6. This is set after Seeing Red, but Tara never dies at the hands of Warren. The rest is just my own creativity. Oh, and Giles never left.

Summary: Tara is missing, or so the Scoobies think. What will happen when they find her?

Rating: PG? – There’s a little angst concerning Willow.

My Thanks: To Sam (Blue77) and Danie. Thanks for being my betas and for helping me out with all the suggestions. You truly are gifted for writing, both of you. I hope you continue to do so. ;) And Danie, don’t forget the catnip. ;)

Author's Notes: This is my first attempt at writing Buffy fan fiction, so please tell me what you think. I usually write fan fiction for ER. I apologize for the heavy subject of W/T angst in this story, especially after what has happened to Tara. These thoughts have been floating around in my brain lately and I just wanted to see if I could turn them into a story. Willow and Tara WILL have a happy ending, if that helps. Let’s just hope we get that on the show. Some of the inspiration for this came from “Unexpected Consequences.” Lisa’s a genius. Thanks for your story Lisa. :)



Eyes Of The Soul: Chapter 4/?

By: Jennifer







“Dawn! You’re gonna be late!” Buffy yelled up the stairs to her sister. “Xander’s here. Hurry up!” She shouted impatiently.



“I told you I was coming,” said Dawn incredulously, as she stomped down the stairs.



The slayer just raised an eyebrow at her sister.



“Hey Dawnster. Ready to go?” Xander asked from the door. He was twirling his keys around his finger on the key ring.



Smiling brightly. “Yeah, I’m ready.” She beamed at him.



“Alrighty… let’s go.” He opened the door and made a motion with his hand for Dawn to go ahead.



Buffy walked up beside Xander, “Thanks for taking her.”



“Hey… no prob., Buff.” He said with a proud smile. “I’ll see you later. I’ll pick Dawn up from school on my break and bring her to the shop.”



“Sounds good. I’ll see you there.” Buffy shooed him out the door.



“See ya,” he said as he hurriedly ran to the car and hopped in.



Buffy gave him a quick wave before going back inside. After closing the door she headed up the stairs and walked over to Willow’s door. She listened for any sign of life, but the room was silent. Knocking lightly, “Will, you awake?” She asked.



No response from the other side.



Buffy gingerly turned the knob and stepped inside. She found a still sleeping redhead, who was mumbling something in her sleep. Stepping closer to the bed, the blonde tried to see if she could make out any of the words.



“NO! It’ll eat you, Buffy.” Willow said as she turned her head upwards, still deep in slumber.



The slayer smiled at her best friend. She kneeled down beside the bed in front of Willow and whispered. “What will eat me, Will?”



“The frog,” Willow mumbled.



“The frog’ll eat me? But I’m the slayer. I’ll slay it.” Buffy laughed softly under her breath.



“No… you can’t,” the redhead replied somewhat frightened.



“Why not?” she playfully asked.



“Cause it’s radioactive.”



Buffy could barely contain her laughter. Willow would often talk in her sleep and you never could predict what words would fall from her lips.



“Then how do I kill the frog?” the slayer played along.



There was a short silence and a repositioning of the redhead’s body before she spoke again. Once she stilled, she said, “Smoochies.”



“Huh?” Buffy scrunched up her brow at that. “I have to kiss it?” She frowned. “But it’s radioactive.”



“No… you have to hide.” Willow said sleepily.



“Why do I have to hide?” The slayer asked confused.



“So you can’t see my red cheeks.” Willow quickly flipped over onto her stomach and buried her face in her pillow. She was embarrassed that she had been caught talking in her sleep. And the worst part of it was that it was Buffy that caught her. She would never hear the end of this one.



“Will, are you awake?” The blonde laughed at her friend’s sudden shy behavior.



A muffled, “Yes” found her ears.



Buffy ran a hand over Willow’s back. “Good. Cause Giles is waiting for us at the Magic Box.”



Another muffled answer was heard, “Okay.”



“We’re going to do research, remember?”



All of a sudden Willow sprung up from the bed and almost knocked Buffy on her backside as she flipped over again. “Yes, research.” She picked up on her friend’s scowl. “I’m sorry, Buffy,” the redhead’s eyes full of apology.



“It’s okay. I’ll go downstairs so you can get ready to go.” Buffy started to stand, but Willow’s hand gripping her own stopped her.



“Do you think she’s safe?” Willow asked sadly.



“Do I think who’s safe?” The slayer asked as her eyes found her best friend’s.



“Tara…” The redhead whispered.



With a sure expression, “I’m sure she’s fine, Will.” Buffy tried to keep her tone even. She couldn’t bear to think of Tara hurt or in danger. That wasn’t even an option.



“Really?” A tear snaked down Willow’s cheek.



“Really.” Buffy squeezed the hand in hers.



“Buffy?” The redhead whispered.



“Yeah?”



“Will you do something for me?” Her eyes locked with the blonde’s.



“Anything.” Buffy said without question.



“Will you hold me?” Willow whimpered, as her tears started to flow ever.



Buffy got up off the floor and slid in beside her friend on the bed, pulling the crying redhead into her arms. “Always. All you have to do is ask.”



Willow nodded her head on Buffy’s chest and just held tight to her.



Tilting her head down, she kissed the top of Willow’s head. “It’s gonna be okay, Will. I promise.”



In response, the redhead pulled Buffy’s body closer and she cried into the warmth of her embrace.



The slayer comfortingly ran her hand up and down Willow’s back and whispered calming words to her. Her words inadvertently calmed her own tears that were just aching to flow over.



*****



At the Magic Box, Giles was in full research mode. He was combing through every page of the various volumes in front of him, looking for anything useful.



He had found a few passages on animal possession. Most of them referred to certain behaviors that different animals might display, if suspected of being possessed. He didn’t quite know what to look for in the text. All he had to go on was what he had learned from his conversation with Buffy the night before.



Every now and then a, ‘Hmmm… that’s interesting’ could be heard.



“Anya, did you ever deal with any type of animal possession while you were a demon?” Giles asked hopefully.



Anya was sitting across the table from him flipping through pages in a book. “Not really. I would hear talk about it, but it wasn’t really my thing.”



Nodding, he replied. “Yes, of course.”



“Although, I did deal a little bit with punishing men by turning them into animals for the rest of their lives. It could be quite unpleasant, if you ask me.” She said with a hint of malice in her eyes.



Giles looked at her somewhat horrified. “I can imagine.” He quickly looked back to his book. As soon as he started reading again, the bell above the door to the shop rang and in walked Buffy. Willow was following close behind.



Re-adjusting his glasses on his nose, he smiled at the sight of the two and gladly called out to them. “Ah… Willow, Buffy. How are you this morning?”



Willow found her way over to the table and sat next to the watcher. “Woo Hoo,” she said flatly. “YAY… couldn’t be better.” She slumped down in the chair until her head was resting on the back of the seat.



The sight of Willow’s features was enough to be concerned. “Are you quite alright?” Giles asked the sorry sight beside him.



All the redhead did was shake her head no. It took everything she had to hold her tears back. She desperately wanted to just curl up in a ball in the corner and just stay there, but she couldn’t. Willow forced herself to stay strong; her thoughts betrayed her though. ‘God… please let this be over soon. I can’t do this.’ Her lower lip quivered.



“Anything yet?” Buffy tried to steer the attention away from her best friend. She knew Willow didn’t like being the center of everyone’s focus.



Pulling his attention away from Willow, “Oh…I’m not entirely certain. I have found some interesting passages, but I’m not sure if they mean anything or not.” Giles admitted honestly.



Buffy put her hands on her hips and let out a long sigh. “Do you think I should look for the cat tonight? See what it will do?” She was almost afraid to hear the answer to her inquiry.



Pondering his answer briefly, “That might actually be a good idea.” Giles smiled at his slayer. “Yes. I think you should.”



“Do you want me to go with you, Buffy?” Willow asked. She didn’t like the idea of her best friend patrolling with a Jaguar running the streets of Sunnydale. They didn’t know yet if it wasn’t dangerous. “It could be rabid, you never know. OH… rabid animals can act like that. They can act all nice and sweet, but really they are just sick and you could get sick from them. Buffy… you could get sick.” Willow was working herself up with worry. “It should have tried to eat you last night, not help you. And why didn’t it? Not that I want it to eat you. I still think it’s possessed. Why else…”



The redhead’s babble was cut off by Giles, “Willow, I don’t want you putting yourself in danger by helping Buffy. We don’t know what to expect, if she should come across this cat again.”



Willow tried to object. “… But…” The redhead knew she didn’t have anything to worry about. She knew Buffy was capable of taking care of herself. ‘I just don’t wanna be left at home doing nothing, when I could be out helping Buffy and trying to search for Tara. Tara. Where are you, baby?’ She frowned at her thoughts. They automatically went back to her love, no matter what she was talking about or doing.



“No ‘buts,’ Will. I don’t want you in danger.” Buffy’s tone implied that she would not accept any argument from her friend. ‘As long as I’m around, you’re not gonna be in any type of danger. Not if I can help it.’ She added in her mind. The slayer had watched her best friend go through her depression and mood swings, since Tara had disappeared. ‘An injured Willow, is not gonna help find Tara. And we have to find her.’ Buffy thought to herself as she watched the redhead’s face accept the final decision that she was not going to go out slaying tonight.



A pout formed on Willow’s lips, as she crossed her arms over her chest.



“Here,” Giles said, pushing a book in front of the pouting girl. “Why don’t you see if you can’t find anything useful in here that we can use.”



Willow put a hand on each side of the chair by her thighs and pushed herself up into a sitting position. After forcing a smile at Buffy, she flipped open the book and started reading.



“I want you to be extra careful, Buffy. Here, why don’t you read these few chapters on Animal possession? I want you to watch this cat very carefully, if you should find it. Watch its movements, its actions. Just be on top of everything it does, it could be imperative to your safety.” Giles searched her eyes for understanding.



“Gotcha. I can be watcher girl.” She half joked.



“Buffy, this is not a matter to joke about. It could be your life that is in danger if this animal shows any type of aggression. I need you to be extra careful. I don’t want…”



“Giles… I’ll be careful. I promise.” She squeezed his forearm for reassurance.



“Yes, well, lets just see that you hold to that promise.” He smiled at his surrogate daughter before looking back to the text at his fingers.



“What if…” Willow began to say something, but cut herself off. She continued to read the words of her book.



“Yes, Willow? Did you find something?” The former librarian inquired.



The redhead crinkled her brow as if in deep concentration. There was a moment of silence before she turned towards Giles; he was staring at her curiously. “What if it wasn’t possessed? What if it’s just a really nice kitty? There can be some like that you know, if they are handled and raised properly.”



“What’s goin’ on in that noggin of yours, Will?” Buffy looked at her expectantly.



“I don’t know. Will you go with me to the library at the campus? Maybe we can find some books on kitties to use. They might have something in them that might help.” She looked at Giles for his reaction. ‘Anything to get out of here.’



“I say, that’s a good idea, Willow. Yes. Buffy why don’t you go with her and see what you can find.” Turning back to the redhead. “Can you check them out and bring them back here?” He knew the answer to that without even asking.



“Me, check out library books? Giles, you know better than to ask me that.” Willow smiled warmly at him, her former mood lightening somewhat, but not disappearing. ‘I can put on this act and then everything will be okay, right? No… it won’t, but what else am I supposed to do?’ She argued in her mind. “I’ll see what they have and bring back what we can find.” She scooted her chair back and stood.



“Okay, Giles can we take your car?” Buffy asked. “I promise to behave while driving.” She all, but batted her eyelashes at the watcher.



“Alright, but be careful.” He reached in his pocket and handed over his keys. “Bring it back in one piece, will you?”



“Yes… I promise. Besides,” pointing at Willow, “She’ll see to it that I behave.” Buffy grabbed Willow’s hand and yanked her towards the front of the shop, towards the door. “We won’t be gone too long,” she said as they hurried out the door.



Willow barely squeaked out a, ‘Bye’ before being pulled completely out of the shop.



“I hope my car will be alright.” Giles said worriedly.



“With Buffy driving?” Anya started laughing.



“Oh, Dear Lord!” Was all the watcher could say at the thought of Buffy behind the wheel of his convertible.



*****



At the library, Willow and Buffy had found the section on animals and were looking through the books vigorously.



“Awww… kitties.” Willow exclaimed. “Look, Buffy.” She pointed at the book that was open in her hands.



“Yes, Will. I see the kitties.” Buffy studied her friend for a moment. A smile lit up her features whenever she saw a new picture of a cat in the book. She didn’t appear to be down, at least at the moment. Willow was certainly smiling more than Buffy had seen her smile in the past few weeks. ‘Give her a book on cats to concentrate on and she smiles. I know half of that smile is put on, though. She’s so brave. Just wait Will, we’ll get your girl back.’



The slayer took a step closer to the redhead and threw an arm over her shoulders. “You feeling better?”



Willow turned her head and met Buffy’s eyes. “Um… you want a fake answer or a real one?”



“How about one of the honest variety?” She prodded.



“I’d be better if I knew this research would help me find Tara. I just hate this. Why can’t we find her? And why didn’t that guiding spell work and why can’t I just get a gutty feeling to know where she is? We’re always supposed to be able to find each other. So why… can’t I… now?” Willow started to sob. She had been holding back her tears, trying to put on a brave face, but her heart wouldn’t let her hold that shield up any longer.



Standing in the middle of the animal section of the campus library, Willow sobbed. She didn’t care who saw her, it’s the only thing she knew to do.



Buffy placed a tentative hand on the redhead’s shoulder and momentarily found her friend leaning into that touch for strength.



Willow grabbed onto the slayers shoulders and started to sink to the ground, her tears falling faster and harder now. It felt good to finally let it out.



The blonde followed her to the ground, to offer her support and she just let the other girl cry. “Let it go, Will. It’s okay. You just cry as long as you need to.” Buffy hugged her close.



Once Willow calmed down, she pulled back from her friend’s embrace and looked at her embarrassed. “I’m sure I look all silly sitting here crying in the middle of the library. I just don’t know what to do, Buffy. Tell me what to do.” She knew Buffy didn’t hold the answers, but she was growing more and more desperate everyday.



Buffy locked eyes with those searching for guidance, “You live, Will. You try to be strong… as possible, anyway… but you have the right to grieve. This is a huge thing. If it were me in this position, I don’t know what I would do. Just remember, it’s good to talk about stuff. Don’t keep stuff locked away, that won’t help.” She paused a moment. “…But, don’t give up. Tara’s alive and she’s out there. We’ll find her, Will.”



Willow attempted a smile. It wasn’t a full Willowsmile, but it would have to do.



Smiling warmly, “That smile looks good on ya, Will. Why don’t you keep it there.” She winked at her before helping the other girl stand.



“Thanks, Buff. I’ll try.” She promised.



“Good. Now, did you find anything in that book?” Buffy inquired, trying to change the subject.



“Um… I don’t know. Most of it is stuff I already know.” The computer whiz said, as she picked up the book from the floor and started to flip through the pages. On one of the pages, a particular photo caught her eye. “Buffy look. This kitty has blue eyes.” She held the book in front of her friend. “I forgot that Bengal tigers have blue eyes. Well, the white Bengal’s do anyway. Isn’t it pretty?” Willow cooed. “And then there are the white lions. They have blue eyes. I forgot about them, too.” She frowned. “Jaguars have green or brown eyes though, not blue. They’re still pretty though.”



“Yes. Very pretty, Will.” Buffy sighed. ‘I love seeing her smile. When she’s smiling, things are usually right with the world, although… they aren’t really right right, right now. That just sounded stupid,’ she thought. “Maybe we should just take these back with us and just go through them with Giles and Anya?”



“You’ve got my vote.” Willow closed the book in her hands and grabbed four more books off the shelf on large cats. “Just grab a few more of those.” She pointed at the books. “Most of the large cats have the same personalities and things, so there should be something useful in all of these books.”



“You’re the boss lady.” She smiled affectionately at the redhead. “Here, give me those. I’ll carry them. My slayer muscles need a workout.” Buffy threw in for good measure.



Willow gladly handed them over and they made their way to the front of the library. Once the books were all checked out, Buffy and Willow turned to go.



“Can you drop me off at the house? I think I’m just gonna go lay down for awhile.” The redhead asked.



“You okay?” Buffy’s concern was kicking in again.



“Yeah, I’m just tired.” She affirmed.



“Okay, but I think you really should come back to the shop. I think you need some distraction right now, Will… but it’s up to you. I’ll do whatever you want me to do.” The slayer wanted to show her support, but she knew the last thing Willow needed was to be alone right now.



Willow nodded. Once again Buffy was right. She really DIDN’T need to be alone right now. “Okay. As much as I really want to be broody girl right now, you’re right. So… let’s go.”



*****





End of part 4



-----------------------------------


"It's good to be a chicken casserole," Tara murmured before passing out. -from "Answering Darkness" by Sassette




“That’s like, two drinks and a light switch away from being totally gay.” Joel from "Final Exam" by Ruth

Edited by: Jennpurr  at: 7/7/02 11:03:02 pm
Jennpurr
 

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