ok, here is tonight's update...nothing but our girls and the God of Love...oh and there's an offer at the end of this post that just might interest some of you...so read on...
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Title: Lost & Found - Part 38a
Author: Jessan
Question: Still reading?
Feedback: Yes, bring it on...I can take it. Sniff. LOL
Summary:Self Images
Spoiler Warning: Up to and including "Wrecked" in Season 6.
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me...no copyright infringement intended. Joss is my God. All hail the glorious one. (It just called out to me.)
Rating: PG-13
Note:
Italics = Willow from Restless
Bold = Tara or Buffy from Restless
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Willow walked in the front door of the Magic Box. It was deserted. “Ok, now what?” she asked, looking around the shop. The last thing she remembered was laying down with Tara to nap.
At that moment, she heard the side door open and close. “Who’s there?” she called out. ‘Announcing your presence to unidentified intruders, great plan Rosenberg.’ she thought.
“I‘d hardly call myself unidentified.” Tara called back as she came around the corner near the counter with a smile on her face. “Unless you tend to dream about some other blonde witch that I don‘t know about?” she said, crossing her arms in front of her in mock anger.
“Never.“ the redhead vowed and rushed towards Tara. She put her hands on Tara‘s arms and ran them up and down gently. “Is everything ok?” she asked.
Tara shrugged, clearly puzzled by their current situation. “Yeah, I think.” she answered as she looked around the shop. Her eyes then focused on Willow‘s. “We went to sleep, didn’t we?” she asked, her eyes pleading for reassurance about what she thought had happened.
Invisible, standing before the two girls, Anteros smiled. ‘The Glory thing was pretty rough on them. You two need some snuggle time before you face up to the whole dark magic disaster.’ he thought as he watched the girls interact.
Willow quickly glanced around the shop. She slowly uncrossed Tara‘s arms and then intertwined their fingers and gave them a comforting squeeze. “But if we’re asleep, how can we be together?” she asked, trying to determine what was happening to them.
Suddenly, a voice came out of nowhere. “Ah, so many questions, so little time.” Then the brief flash of light, heralding the arrival of the God of Love.
Both girls turned their heads to look at the god, releasing one set of hands as they turned. “Anteros.” Willow muttered in a semi-annoyed tone.
Anteros put his hands on his hips and gave her a fake pout. “You were expecting Liberace?” he responded drolly. Then he shook his head in total understanding. “It’s the voice, I understand.” he said patting his vocal chords.
Willow rolled her eyes, still not comfortable around the god. Tara noticed the apprehension on her lover‘s face and ran her right hand up and down Willow‘s right arm. Tara could feel Willow relax, ever so slightly. Tara decided she should try and get some information out of the Love God since Willow wouldn‘t be very willing to start a conversation with him. “Anteros, why are we at the shop, and how are we here together?” she asked nicely.
Anteros smiled at Tara, then gave Willow a devilish grin. “See, the blonde asks the intelligent questions. You are so going to lose your reputation as the smart one if your not careful.” he said holding a hand up to his chin in thought. “But that is a reputation you’ve been trying to lose for quite some time, now isn‘t it?” he questioned.
Willow was getting irritated with the god’s little games. “What are you talking about?” she demanded in a harsh tone.
Anteros held his hands up and gestured around to the shop. “Think of this as neutral meeting ground on the astral plane where we can meet and discuss anything we want.” he then caught Tara’s eye and gave her a wink. “with visuals.” he added.
Willow was now thoroughly pissed that she was standing here watching Anteros flirt with her girlfriend. “What do we need to discuss?” she barked, her rising anger very apparent.
Anteros noticed the tone and decided he had taken enough of Willow‘s attitude. “You actually want an itinerary, cause honey, its one hell of a list.” he shot back, indignantly.
Tara saw the change in the god‘s demeanor. She turned and rested her head on Willow‘s shoulder and whispered in her ear. “Darling, can we not enrage the nice God of Love?” she pleaded with her lover.
Willow turned and stared at her lover, stupefied. “Nice? You call what he put us thru nice?” she asked with disbelief.
Anteros had had enough. Someone needed to put the fear of god into Willow. ‘I guess I‘m the only god here so…’ he thought. “Look here wonder bitch, the attitude simply has to go south for the winter or else I am going to make the saying ‘hold your tongue’ very literal. Are we clear now?” Anteros growled at the redhead.
Willow just stood there blinking at the god in total shock. “Um, yeah.” she muttered.
Once she had recovered her senses, she realized that she had been giving an attitude to a god that had blessed her and her lover. “Sorry.” she mumbled.
Anteros let a small smile creep to his lips. .“And you say your not large with the butch.“ he chastised her.
“Surely you jest.” he said , giggling at his own joke.
Tara couldn’t resist and let out a chuckle. Willow looked at her and Tara shrugged. ‘You’ll get yours later.’ Willow mentally threatened.
Tara smiled wickedly at her. ‘Bring it on.’ she mouthed.
Anteros rolled his eyes. “If you two are quite finished with the flirting?” Both girls turned their attention back to the God of Love. “Where was I? Oh yes…issues.” he said as he started pacing.
The girls watched as he paced and gestured animatedly at the same time.
“We need to chat about a little thing called self-image.” he stopped and pointed at Tara. “Or in Tara’s case, lack there of.”
Willow gave Tara’s hand another squeeze. She could see the concern on her lover‘s face. ‘You ok?’ she asked, never looking away from Anteros.
Tara nodded her head. ‘This one way communication thing is really annoying.’ she thought. Tara liked being able to read Willow’s mind, but not being able to reciprocate seemed wrong.
Anteros droned on with his explanation. “Ironically, magic played a major role in shaping Willow’s image.” he said, pointing at the redhead. “You see Tara, while magic was your legacy, it was Willow’s escape.” he explained, eyeing the redhead.
Willow quirked a cynical eyebrow at the god. “Escape from what?” she said frivolously.
Anteros shot her equally contemptuous look. “The geek you were on the path to become.” he stated knowingly.
Willow shook her head. “That is so not true.” she insisted.
Anteros grinned wickedly. “I was waiting for you to say that.” he flicked his hand towards the wall and the air shimmered as a picture came into view. More or less like watching television. “Do you remember this particular dream?” he asked.
Well, what, uh, what should I do? The, the play's gonna start soon, and I don't even know my lines. The play's already started. That's not the point. Everyone's starting to wonder about you. The real you. If they find out, they'll punish you, I ... I can't help you with that. Well, what should I ... what's after me? Is it something I-I was supposed to do? W-was I supposed to-Tara looked at her lover, clearly confused with what she was seeing. Willow shrugged. ‘Wait, it make more sense in a minute.’ she assured the blonde witch.
I don't know. I-I don't know what's after me. Well, you must have *done* something. No. I never do anything. I'm very seldom naughty. I, I just came to class, and, and the play was starting. Play is long over. Why are you still in costume? Okay, still having to explain wherein this is just my outfit. Willow, everybody already knows. Take it off. No. No. I need it. Oh, for god's sake, just take it off.Willow watched in horror as her other self stood in front of a classroom looking like as she looked six years ago. The redhead turned her head to the side and closed her eyes.
That's better. It's much more realistic.“Darling, what’s wrong?” Tara asked.
Willow kept her eyes closed, desperately trying to shut out the image of her former self. “I didn’t like that girl. She was no one.” the redhead explained.
Anteros nodded at the redhead‘s diagnosis. “So, you got into magic for the wrong reasons. You just wanted to change the stereotype that haunted you for so many years. And yet you’d never believe me that you would have fallen in love with Tara anyway.” he informed the redhead.
Willow opened her eyes and looked at the god. “The only reason we met in the first place was because of the Wicca group.” she rationalized..
Anteros let out a soft chuckle. “You can’t fight fate my dear. Destiny always gets its own way.” he informed the hacker. “There are hundreds of alternative universes and in every one of them, you two find each other.” he looked up as if remembering. “Different times, different places, but the outcome is always the same. You two always end up together.” he stated proudly. “Granted, I blessed your union in this life. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. But you two created your love a long time ago.” he assured the couple standing in front of him.
He watched as Tara searched Willow’s face for answers. ‘Does she doubt that we would find each other? We said that we would always find each other.’ she thought.
Willow finally turned to look at Tara as a tear slid down her face. “But if…” she began.
Anteros interrupted before the redhead could say something to cause more trouble between the two lovers. “Stop right there. You need to let go of this imaginary pathetic Willow that never existed.” he ordered the redhead. “You have always been a resourceful, strong-willed, loving young woman.” He looked affectionately at the blonde standing at her side. “And Tara loves you for you, not who you think you should be for her.” he concluded. He watched as Willow lifted her head as if to question him, but Anteros held up a hand. “With or without magic” he said firmly.
Willow silently nodded and turned to Tara. “I’m…I always thought that if weren’t for…”
Tara raised a finger and placed it on her lover’s lips. “The magic is a part of us, but it was never what made us special.” she said looking into the green eyes she so adored. “That was just you and I.” she said running the finger slowly down the curve of Willow’s neck. “Together.“ she finished in a whisper.
Willow leaned her head forward and rested it against Tara’s. “I know.” she said. “I should have always knew, and I don't know why I didn't know, but I definitely know now.” she promised her lover.
Tara leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Willow’s mouth. The contact was brief, but none-the-less exquisite. Willow’s body shook as her heart ached for more.
Anteros cleared his throat to get their attention. “As much as I would love to watch the show, we’re not done yet.” he said.
The girls pulled apart slightly. Willow wrapping her arm around Tara’s back and gently rubbing it. “What else did I do wrong?” Willow questioned, automatically assuming it was her to whom he was referring to.
Anteros shook his head. “Not you butch, the lady next to you.” he watched Willow frown and tighten her grip on her girlfriend.
Tara seemed unsure of what to expect, so she tried to remain calm, but it was obvious she was worried about what the God of Love might have to say about her.
Anteros spoke in a gentle voice. “Tara, you have no concept of how your friends see you. Not really. You know Dawn sees you as a second mother, but that’s about it. You don’t understand the rest of them. You doubt them, don‘t you?” he softly prodded.
Tara shook her head. “N-no, I know they l-love me.” she said, then silently cursing her stutter for giving away her nervousness.
Willow turned her head. “Baby?” she asked out loud, then commented in her mind. ‘I haven’t heard you stutter in ages.’
Tara didn‘t look at Willow, fearing that she would give herself away. “It’s ok.” she said as she looked down at the floor. “I don’t doubt my friends.” she said, raising her head to confront the god.
Anteros frowned at the fact that she would try and lie to her lover, to him, and worst of all, to herself. “Yes you do.” he simply answered.
Tara sighed, then turned her head and rested it on Willow‘s shoulder. “Everyone has doubts Anteros, its not a sin.” she said expressing her opinion on the matter.
Anteros knew that he couldn‘t take the forceful approach with Tara that he had with Willow. Tara simply wouldn‘t respond to such tactics. Instead, he dipped his head to catch her eyes. “Why do you doubt them?” he asked.
Tara was torn. She knew that the god was trying to make a point, but she didn‘t want to admit what she felt in front of Willow. Finally, she decided that if they were going to make their love everlasting, she couldn‘t hide something like this from her. “I’m not one of them.” she softly whispered.
Willow‘s eyes widened at her lover‘s statement. Willow spun Tara around and picked up her face in her hands. “Baby, no, you are so one of us. You take care of all of us. We couldn’t get by without you. You’re essential. To everyone. Not just me.” Willow rambled, meaning every loving word she said to the blonde.
Tara closed her eyes to her lover‘s kind words. “Will, your view is just a little biased.” she told her lover.
Anteros jumped in. “Yep, there’s my point.” he said waving a finger at the blonde. “Total lack of self.” he said as he walked closer to the witch and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned her head to look at him. “Babe, you are a kick ass witch and one hell of a role model. You’re father did a damn good job of messing with your mind.” he said in a bitter tone, making it fairly obvious how he felt about Jack MaClay.
Willow‘s eyes narrowed at the mention of Tara‘s wayward father. “Jerk.” she cursed.
“Willow.” Tara admonished.
“Well…he is.” the redhead said in her defense.
Tara sighed, knowing how right her lover was. “I know.” she admitted.
Anteros backed away and began pacing again. “Anyway, you don’t believe me?” he said gesturing towards the wall once more.
An image of the two girls intimately touching came up and Anteros threw his hand up at the wall, clearly embarrassed.
Willow and Tara looked strangely at each other, then both turned to look at the God of Love.
Anteros chuckled nervously. “Ah, I could show you what Xander thinks of you, but well, that could cause serious issues in his forthcoming nuptials. Let’s just say Xander sees you as an incredibly desirable woman.” he said trying not to look directly at either girl. “That little dirtball.” he cursed. ‘My kinda guy.’ he mentally added. ‘You and Anya will be perfect together.’
“Xander.” Willow whispered and shook her head.
Anteros waved his hand again and the girls saw Tara sitting at the research table at the Magic Box and Giles staring at her proudly from behind the counter.
“Giles has never actually said it to your face, but he thinks of you as one of his daughters. You captured his heart as surely as you did Willow’s. Once he truly knew how much you loved each other, the old man was head of heels for you.” he explained.
“That’s just like Giles.” Willow stated proudly.
Anteros waved again and the girls see Anya and Tara sitting together at Xander’s apartment engrossed in conversation.
“And of course Anya, well, the ex-demon is very fond of you. Anyanka never had a real friend in 1000 years. Then you came along. All that time and she never had anyone she considered a confidant. That’s is quite an accomplishment, wouldn‘t you say?” he said with a smirk.
Another wave and the girl see Buffy standing up to Jack MaClay on Tara’s behalf.
“Lastly, there’s Buffy. I think it should have become apparent to you that you are part of her family.”
The scene changes to Buffy and Tara on a bench outside Tara’s dorm the night the slayer told Tara she wanted her to come home.
“She wanted you to come back to the house even when you two weren’t together. If you had really wanted to leave Sunnydale, she would have done anything to stop you.” he told her honestly and then motioned with his hand as the wall went back to normal.
Tara, who had been silent throughout the scenes finally spoke. “Of course. She would do anything for Willow.” she said timidly.
Anteros threw his hands up in the air then placed them on his hips and glared at her sternly. “Sweetie, stop pulling the blonde card on me. It won’t work.” he declared. “She wants you there for Willow, Dawn, and HERSELF. All three of them would be destroyed if you left.” he said truthfully.
Willow smiled, knowing the God of Love spoke the truth. ‘He’s right you know, we would.’ she mentally assure her lover.
Tara shook her head. “I know.” she said softly. “I’ve always known, I just didn’t want to believe it.” she explained with a little more confidence. “Like if I let myself, that might make it unreal.” she said, desperately trying to explain what she was feeling. “Does that make sense?” she asked as she finally looked up at her lover’s face.
Willow cupped her lover‘s face in both her hands. “You’re essential and I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you.” the redhead promised.
Anteros smiled. They‘ve had a long day, and tonight would be even longer. “Well, you two have some more to work out…but I think you need some time alone. “ he said with a wink.
The two lovers were two engrossed in each other to pay any attention to the God of Love.
“I’ll see you two later.” he said and the three of them vanished from the Magic Box.
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Hmmm, well now...I have this *ahem* interesting scene written to follow this part up with...if enough people are interested...I could post it...it, well, it's smut....it's ready to go up...if a few people ask nicely for it....
Yes, this is getting back at all those who say I am a tease. LOL
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Love Will Find a Way
Edited by: jessan15 
at: 4/28/02 5:16:55 pm
and I love 
.
by jdcioffi » Wed Apr 24, 2002 9:07 pm 
Oh well, I trust that you will take good care of them, and they will be okay in the end.
at: 4/25/02 1:46:22 am
Yes. It is all Xander's fault. 
I laughed out loud and scared the cat. A good belly laugh just what I need before bed......that and W/T snuggleies