It's here...it's....well....oh, read it.
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Title: Lost & Found - Part 36d
Author: Jessan
Question: Still reading?
Feedback: Yes, bring it on...I can take it. Sniff. LOL
Summary: Dreams of Glory Conclusion
Spoiler Warning: Up to and including "Wrecked" in Season 6.
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me...no copyright infringement intended. Joss is my God. All hail the glorious one. (It just called out to me.)
Rating: PG-13
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Willow sat in bed, desperately wanting to go over and see Tara in the next room. ‘I wonder if she‘s awake?’ Willow thought, staring at the door.
Just then, the door to Willow’s bedroom opened and Tara walked in. “Yes, she’s awake and wondering if you just had a crazy dream.” she asked, closing the door to Willow’s room.
“You too?“ Will asked. Tara only nodded in reply. The witch wanted to say more. She wanted to go to Willow, but the only thing she could do at that moment was stand there and stare at the carpet.
Willow moved to the other side of the bed and gestured for Tara to come sit down. The blonde did, but still wouldn’t look at Willow. After a minute, she decided that she needed to start somewhere, so why not with the biggest surprise. “You know, I’m more upset at Buffy then you.”
Willow couldn‘t understand how Buffy had anything to do with Glory. “Why Buffy?” she asked.
Buffy letting her walk out of that hospital alone was the one event that could have changed everything. “She had the chance to stop all this. If she just would have made you stay with her or something. Anything.” she whispered the last word.
Willow sat up, finally understanding what Tara had seen. ‘If their roles had been reversed, Tara would never have let Willow be alone.’ she thought. “Tara she…”
Tara nodded at Willow‘s mental assessment. “But she doesn’t know you like I do.” Tara’s voice became a whisper again. “No one knows you like I do.” she said staring up at the mirror on the dresser. She could see the concerned eyes of her lover reflected back at her.
Willow reached out and put a trembling hand on Tara’s shoulder. Willow was terrified that the blonde would pull away. When she didn’t, Willow pulled her shoulder back, forcing her to face the redhead. “What do you mean Buffy could’ve stopped it? Stopped what? Glory?” she asked in quick succession.
“You.” Tara answered, reaching up and taking the redhead‘s hand in her own. “She could have stopped you.” She could see the confusion in the redhead‘s eyes. “In the hospital, why did she let you walk away?” she said looking up into the emerald eyes she so adored.
“Respecting my wishes, I guess.” responded with a shrug of her shoulders. Willow honestly had no other answer to give the blonde.
Tara shook her head. “You never should have gone.” she said, closing her eyes. When she reopened them, she stared out the window. “I always thought it was because of Glory, but it wasn’t. It was just ignorance on our friends’ part.” She turned to look at Willow and halt the impending defense of their friends. “And before you start defending them, I know that they had no way of knowing. But, I’m glad to know it wasn’t…her.” she finished and returning her gaze to her lap.
Willow nodded her head and stared down at the sheets. Tara had made a big confession, so maybe it was time for Willow to do the same. “You never should have been there alone.” she began, as Tara lifted her head to look at the redhead. “But I know now, that it wouldn’t have made a difference if I was there or not.” Willow saw the brief smile on Tara’s face, letting her know that she had made the right confession.
Willow turned her head, shut her eyes, and shook her head at the memory of Tara facing off against Glory on the bench.. “I never understood why you didn’t fight her. I thought you were just willing to give yourself up without a fight.” she looked back at the blonde who was speechless at this point. “I never knew it was because you were protecting everyone else there.” she said reached for the blonde‘s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Baby, you were so brave and stronger than I ever could have been in that situation.” she told the blonde proudly.
Tara blushed a deep crimson. She had never been good at accepting praise. She had gotten much better about accepting it from her lover, but that was only about little things. This was almost downright hero worship.
As they continued holding hands, Willow could feel the tingling sensation starting up her arm. So close to Tara, being so open and honest about everything that happened, was very liberating. And her body was taking the cue her mind was giving her hand. The redhead began to stroke the back of Tara’s hand with her thumb.
Tara felt the rubbing of her hand and nearly sighed. ‘No, not until this is all sorted out first.‘ she told herself. After steeling her resolve, Tara asked Willow the question she had been dreading. “Why were you willing to die? I wasn’t dead...” she said, her voice trailing off at the end. Tara turned her head away from Willow. “It only felt like it.” she mumbled.
“Oh baby, I never had a clue what you went thru, then when Glory explained it…” Willow couldn‘t begin to verbally describe how she felt, so instead she sent every emotion she felt when she saw the act. Horror, revulsion, anger, regret, terror, loss, rage, sorrow, wrath, all at the same time. She saw Tara’s eyes widen as she felt the flood of emotions from her lover. “you survived so much.” Willow whispered.
A tear slipped down Tara‘s cheek as she closed her eyes. “I knew you’d find me.” she said in a hushed voice.
Willow saw the tear on Tara‘s face and almost lost it. She would do anything to keep Tara from ever crying again. “That was then.” she stated affirmatively. “How about now?” she asked. ‘Don’t pull away from me baby, not now.’ she mentally pleaded.
“I don’t know.” Tara answered the verbal question, then felt a need to respond to the mental one as well. “Darling, will you hold me?” Tara asked shyly, not meeting Willow‘s eyes.
“You don’t even have to ask.” Willow quickly answered. Willow turned over on her back and held out her left arm, waiting for Tara. Tara scooted down and put her head on Willow’s shoulder and wrapped her arm over the redhead’s stomach. Willow in return wrapped her left arm around Tara’s shoulder.
The two girls sat in silence for a few minutes, reveling in the closeness. After Tara felt as if she had drawn enough strength from their connection, she continued their discussion about Glory. “You never told me that Glory…liked my mind.” she said softly.
Willow leaned her head down and put her chin on top of Tara‘s head. “I didn’t think it was something you needed to ever hear.”
Tara leaned up on her arm to look Willow in the eyes. “That’s just it Will, we don’t get to pick and choose. It’s like when you went after Glory. It’s all or nothing.” she said, then retreating to the safety of the redhead shoulder.
“You, heard that?” she asked, then remembered what Anteros had told her. “I mean, of course you heard that.” she said.
Tara trudged forward, despite her mind screaming at her to stop. “You didn’t care if she killed you.” she muttered. Tara couldn’t even begin to think what her life would have been like if Glory had killed Willow.
Willow felt ashamed. “I felt like I had already lost everything.” she said looking away from the witch.
“Even when I was…“ Tara searched for a safe word, but found none. “crazy, I still knew you, didn’t I?” she asked hopefully. She remembered everything Willow had done and said while she was out of her mind, but her own actions were a blur.
Willow smiled and repeated the same words she had long ago. “Yeah, sometimes you would look at me and you were fine.” she explained gently.
Tara gave the redhead’s midsection a squeeze. “It was hard, wasn’t it?” she prompted.
Willow was disgusted with herself. “I didn’t think I could spend the rest of my life with you like that. I would have felt like I had let you down, every minute of every day, for the rest of my life.” she said. “I never would have stopped loving you, but it never would have been the same, you know?” she asking, hoping that she didn’t come across as sounding like an insensitive jerk.
“I understand.” Tara replied, as she began making small circles on Willow‘s belly. “And once you thought about everything, then you came up with a solution.” Tara was unsure if she wanted to get into an in-depth discussion about magic, but it seemed necessary. “Was the transference a dark spell?” she asked.
Willow fidgeted slightly under Tara. “Um, not really.” she answered. “Just a basic dissolving spell more or less.” the redhead explained.
‘Ok, I should have done this a long time ago,‘ the blonde thought. Tara rolled over on top of Willow and heard Willow sigh. They were so close, everything was coming to life. Nerve endings were electric. Tara looked into Willow’s eyes. “Why did you think dark magic would be more powerful than white magic?” she demanded, her tone letting Willow know that they were going to discuss this whether she wanted to or not.
The redhead knew the tone of her lover’s voice, but tried to run anyway. Willow squirmed, trying to wiggle out from underneath Tara. The blonde witch was having none of it and draped a firm leg over Willow‘s to hold her in place. Willow moaned and then looked away from Tara. “Power, the dark side, you know, they go hand and hand. The whole Star Wars - Darth Vader idea. Dark is always more powerful. Anger and hatred go a long way.” she babbled, while her mind was preoccupied with the feel of Tara’s breasts against her own.
Tara was unrelenting in her goal. Willow was going to understand this once and for all. “And when we cast together? What was that?” she asked, using her hand to turn Willow’s face so that she had to look at Tara.
Willow just stared into the deep blue. ‘She wants an answer. I just want her. Plain and simple. Oh, she’s going to hear that. Damn.’ “Well…” she began.
Tara smiled at the redhead‘s mental rambling. ‘I want you too, but we are going to do this first. Now.’ Tara thought. “Willow, I want to show you something, but it means using magic. But I want you to understand this, even if you never practice magic again. I want you to understand now what I failed to teach you then. Will you let me?”
Willow didn‘t consider the consequences, she simply answered from the heart. “I trust you.” she solemnly vowed.
Tara rested her head over Willow’s chest, allowing her lover’s heartbeat to calm and center her. She began softly chanting.
Willow could feel the magic Tara was pooling. It was like a shiny beacon of light on a dark night. In the past, she had felt like she needed to be one with the magic, but now, in the peacefulness of Tara’s arms, she felt no need, only love.
Willow marveled at the circuitry of their magic. Tara pulled it in, it then flowed thru Willow, where it changed as it mingled with Willow's essence, then returned back to Tara stronger than it had been sent out.
Willow was feeling how wonderful it was to be around Tara when she cast. The hacker felt alive and it was in a good way. There was nothing perverted or evil about this feeling. This is what magic was truly about, peace and harmony with everything around you.
“Lift.” Tara said and looked around the room. Gradually, every single thing in the entire room, was floating.
Willow looked around. Socks were in midair as easily as the dresser was. The bed, the armoire, the chair, the selves, and everything on the selves. All of it was in the air. Them included. They were a few inches above the bed, which was also a few inches off the floor. “Tara? How?” was all that Willow could managed to verbalize while still in awe at what her girlfriend had done.
“Love and peace go a long way too Will.“ Tara had never been one to abuse her power, let alone show it off. In truth, Willow had never, ever seen such a display from her lover. Apparently, no one really had a clue how powerful Tara truly was, even Willow.
Tara didn‘t have to look around the room to know if she had accomplished her goal. She knew it from the look on Willow's face. Tara focused on Willow‘s eyes. “It’s about emotions and focus. The fight we had that day, it wasn’t that I was frightened about how skilled you were at using magic, it was your lack of focus that scared me.” One by one, things started their descent back to the ground. “Why I couldn’t find the words to make you understand that then, I’ll never know.” she said, turning hr head ever so slightly from Willow’s.
For the first time, Willow actually understood. Willow had never been big with the emotional control. The argument itself was a perfect testament to that fact. The anger had taken over so quickly and easily. “And I turned the argument into something it wasn’t.” she whispered and shut her eyes tight at the memory. “I’m so sorry.” she whispered.
Tara finished putting down the furniture as well as them, then gave Willow her complete attention. “No, there’s no more sorry. It’s done, we can’t change the past.” she said running tender fingers down the side of her face.
Not the time or the place, but Willow laughed anyway. “I tried.” she admitted.
Tara was utterly confused. “What?” she asked.
Willow chuckled as she explained. “I tried to punch Glory while I was watching her…touch you.” she said the last words running her hand down Tara’s back..
Tara shivered, every so slightly. “Honey, she was only a memory.” she purred as she closed her eyes to better appreciate Willow‘s attentions..
“I still hate was she did to you.” the redhead answered back.
Tara sighed and opened her eyes to look at Willow. “And therefore you give her domain over us even now.” she reasoned.
Willow‘s other hand reached up to stroke Tara‘s beautiful blonde hair. “I can’t forgive her.” she explained.
Tara was slightly perturbed with her girlfriend‘s inability to let go of the past. But only slightly. “She’s gone. She can’t hurt us anymore.” she reassured Willow. “We‘re alive. We’re both whole. What more do we need?” she asked.
Willow didn‘t miss a beat. She knew what she needed. The only thing she still didn‘t completely have. “Each other.” she answered.
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Anteros stood before the bed, invisible to the occupants. “Oh no. I want the two of you back together forever, not just a little while. That means you are going to work out everything. And I do mean EVERYTHING!” he said pointing at the girls and the air shimmered around them. “Then I can enjoy the view 24-7.” he said with a devilish grin.
Tara was smiling when a yawn rudely interrupted. “Can we start with a nap first?” she asked, snuggled down into Willow’s shoulder. “My last one wasn’t very relaxing.” she answered tiredly.
Willow couldn‘t quite explain it, but she too was unbelievably tired. “With me?” she asked, slightly shocked, but pleasantly surprised at the same time.
“Yes.” she said kissing the redhead’s neck.
Willow yawned. “Then starting with a nap sounds absolutely wonderful.”
Anteros smiled. “See you soon girls.” he said as he faded into nothingness.
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Ah, what's that crazy God of Love got in store for our girls? Well, first we'll have to catch up with the rest of the gang at the Magic Box and see how the waiting to going...just some everyday type fun....then another dreamscape is coming...hmmm, which one is next...I wonder...
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Love Will Find a Way
Edited by: jessan15 
at: 4/24/02 5:37:01 pm
by LeatherQueen » Mon Apr 22, 2002 7:42 pm 
thankyou 
WOLFLORD 
Anywho, great update...I loved the showing the power of love