Twist of Fate

[CrazyTaraWitch]

okay, after posting this, i'll respond to you fabulous kitties, edit the next part, and post again, so enjoy the updatage:)

Part 3: Paths...
Chapter 3: ...Lost
Part B

“W-will you c-call me wh-when you l-l-learn anything?” Tara asked hopefully as she pulled up in front of St. Andrew’s, fearing that Willow would say no, and this would be all she’d get--one hospital visit, and then there were all out of her life again, without ever being able to know Dawnie was okay. She felt like crying again, but was determined to wait until she got home; Willow had her own fears and worries without Tara throwing hers into the mix.

Willow felt like she’d been punched in the stomach when Tara asked her to call. She felt tears well up as she closed her now-shimmering green eyes tightly in an attempt to hide her crying, but Tara was still far too atttuned to her not to notics, especially as the tears spilled through the lids.
“You’re really w-w-worried about D-Dawnie, huh?” Tara asked gently, noticing the state of the red-head, and that she made no move for the door.
“I-I’m worried, but that’s not why I’m upset...” Willow admitted quietly. “I don’t believe how badly I’ve messed up.”
<> Tara let herself hope, for the first time, that maybe her beloved regretted what had happened between them, regretted not being with her.
Willow continued in the same quite desperation, “I was supposed to get married today, and--”
Tara cut her off, unable to bear hearing that Willow was upset she hadn’t gotten married. “I-it’s ok-kay Willow, y-y-you and O-oz w-will get an-nother chance..” Tara attempted to comfort the other woman, but her own heartbrake at saying the words was too much for her, and the tears she’d been holding back finally came in barely-controlled sobs.
“Dammit Tara,” Willow practicallu yelles through her own tears, “I’m not worried about me and Oz! I’m worried about you & me; I’m worried about the fact that ever since I saw you again, all I’ve wanted to do is kiss you. But I can’t, because I screwed up; I left, and I’m getting married, and I don’t get to kiss you anymore; or ever again.” As Willow heard the finality in her own words, as she got of her chest the last horrible thing she hadn’t even let herself think, loud sobs began to wrack her body and she shook back-and-forth as her last bits of resolve faded.

Tara was at a complete loss. She had been hoping for some remorse, some sorrow for the way things had ended between them, but never had she expected the redhead to want to kiss her... Four years had gone by; they had both changed, and Willow had obviously fallen in love with someone else; yet Tara still knew Willow, and she knew that when it came to matters of the heart, the woman didn’t say say things she didn’t mean. Tara was sure that no matter what else had changed, that hadn’t... when it came to her heart, Willow gave everything she had...and now she was giving it to Tara.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

DaddyCatALSO: yes, Jenny Calendar married Giles. I always thought they were cute; glad to know you feel the same.

db: as you may have guessed from that chapter I just posted, Tara-less world, as all us BTVS fans had to learn the hard way, is just no fun.

Sandman78: i love that dancing elephant...it never fails to make me smile, and knowing its use is for one of my fics makes it all the better
yes, Willow is engaged to Oz, but as for marrying him...


thank you all for reading and liking my lil story...although you will probably all hate me with where I leave-off the next chapter, especially since it will be my last before going out of town for two weeks. just please bear with me and keep reading.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

okay, here's my last post for awhile. sorry for the cliffhanger...please don't kill me. --oh, and sorry for my ... addiction; looking back at this story, I have been excessive even for me
anyway, hope you like

Paths...
...Of Courage


When Willow stopped crying and composed herself, she began to feel bad about what she’d said a minute earlier; it had clearly upset both her and the blonde. She had never meant for it to come out that way--had never, in fact, intended to say it at all. She had known she should just let Tara go; probably should’ve let her walk out of the hospital hours ago, let Tara get back to whatever life she’d created for herself, but now that Willow had blurted out her feelings for Tara, she simply couldn’t let the other woman walk away; Willow had to know how Tara felt about her... had to know if there was a chance for them. She knew it was ridiculous, knew she didn’t deserve Tara back after everything, even knew it wasn’t fair to Oz to be thinking about another chance with the witch, but deep down she’d always known she and Tara belonged together. While Tara was out of her life, she could hide behind the excuse of just being unsecure about she and Oz, but now that this beloved soul had been brought back into her life, had been brought back to her, Willow could hide no longer. Being with Oz had been wonderful in its own right; they had been together through so much, and he’d helped her grow as a person, and she did love him, but their time was over; they weren’t meant to be. Tara was her soulmate, and she would spend the rest of her life proving that to the gorgeous Goddess before her, if only Tara would let her back in her life. She didn’t expect Tara to instantly take her back, but she hoped that maybe someday, if she was Tara’s friend long enough, Goddess willing, the blonde would forgive her... and even if friends were all she and Tara could ever be again, well that was better than not having the other woman in her life at all... and better than being with a man she could never give herself to completely.
And so Willow gathered up her courage and...

[AlysonGoddess]

and kissed her?! hmmm i wonder if im right..so update soon so i can prove it!! great story keep it up!
Erin

[willow_tara_always]

and wot and wot gah the suspence! haha xx

[DaddyCatALSO]

Well, the positive part is that Wilow 's made up her own mind, at least internally.

[Sandman78]

...two weeks huh
Okay...this is me, patiently waiting

Now that you have my full attention...you leave me hanging (awesome story though!)
Cliffhangers are the

[willohand]

oh no you dont.YO...YOU CANT JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS! CAN YOU? and for 2 weeks no less. let me just say as i am addicted to this fanfic you leaving for 2 weeks and not being around to feed my addicition there could be serious problems with me by the time u get back. Oh bloody hell...
okay i can do this. i can not have to have this ganfic to be able to think. i can quite you anytime i wont(minutes pass as willohand looks around) okay okay i cant do it alright. you happy now? ive said it damn it i need you okay. i need you. willohand walks around the room trying to imagine 2 weeks without this and her world goes black

[db]

I have decided that Willow is gunna apologize for blurting, vow to not marry Oz and ask Tara if she would be willing to try and be her friend.

In the mean time...

I have resolved this cliffhanger in the aforementioned manner 'cause TWO WEEKS?! That is *so* not nice...

Cliffhanger like that and then leave for two weeks...

I have my *eye* on you, ya big mean-o.

db

[amber addict]

I'm loving this fic

but i need to know what happens next before i go insane

[CrazyTaraWitch]

hi guys. sorry to keep you waiting so long, and no, this isn't an update, cause my school year starts in less than 9 hours and i need to go to bed. i just wanted to pop in and say i'm back, and will start on the update asap after school tomorrow. again, sorry...although it's kinda nice to know my story's insanity-worthy.
anywho, night all, more hopefully tomorrow.

[willohand]

why you...I oughtta... (clears her throat) I mean hey you. So no update yet huh? Oh and now your getting ready for classes in 9 hours huh? So this is your way of trying to toture me okay maybe im just a little crazed and dazed from not having this fanfic to read. looking up and willohand takes a few deep breathes and tries to calm herself down. Shoving her hands in her pockets she paces her room. She reasons with herself. Okay the good news is she`s back. The bad news is this isnt an update. Good news is shes back.Bad news is she starts classes,which mean she will have to get in study time. homework,class projects,study groups school activities. Oh and what if she`s on a team or several teams? Then there are her friends who she will have to give time to. And this means...willohand drops her head into her hands and sighs. We might not see an update til like...forever. oh.my.god."whew its hot in this room."

[CrazyTaraWitch]

It's not as long as it seemed in my notebook, but I'm posting the next chapter. Due to italication difficulties, I have attempted to use a different font instead of italics; i hope it works out, and if not I appologize. I'm through typing-up what I wrote during driver's ed, which means updates will be a bit less frequent, so I'll try to hand-write and update during school this week, but no guarabtees, but I'll do my best to get the next chapter out by the end of the weekend.
hope you enjoy!


ps: wish me luck in scheduling the Buffy Club which I now president!




Part 3: Paths...
Chapter 5: ...Of Desire

Willow gathered up her courage and asked in a forcibly steady voice “Will you stay? Please?”
Tara couldn’t find the words to speak her gratitude, so she simply nodded as she parked her car and headed toward the building.

As Tara reached the door to the hospital, she noticed that Willow was no longer beside her-- had, in fact, stopped following yards back. Tara was confused by the redhead actions and uncertain if she would appreciate her presence, but simply couldn’t leave the other woman alone while she appeared to be in distress.
“I can’t go in there,” Willow said quietly, trying to hold in the tears she had barely stopped as they left the car.
“I-I’m sure D-Dawnie will be ok-kay,” Tara attempted to soothe the redhead but was quickly corrected.
“I’m actually not all that worried about Dawn... I probably should be, but a part of me just knows she’ll be okay...I’m more worried about how to tell Oz it’s over.”
“Will--” Tara began, fearing that Willow was leaving her fiancé for something she wasn’t ready to give, but was quickly cut-off.
“I know I don’t deserve another chance with you; don’t even deserve to be in your life... But I’ve spent the last four years miserable without you. I’d rather spend dthe next four years trying to be worthy of your firendship than creating & living a life with Oz that I only wanna live with you...even if we never live that life live I’ve always wanted. Even we’re never together.”
Tara’s heart broke as she heard and felt the pain in Willow’s voice. As the sincerity of the woman’s words sunk-in, all the “shouldn’t”s in Tara’s mind seemed to slip away... I shouldn’t love her because she’s getting married... shouldn’t think about being with her cause she’s with someone else... shouldn’t want to kiss her because she doesn’t want to kiss me... As all these fears and insecurities left her, Tara was left with only one thought: the desire to kiss Willow; and for the first time all day, gave in to what she wanted.




As Willow saw the supple, full lips she had longed to feel against her ow for years coming towards her, saw the woman she loved more than her her own life, leaning in for a kiss, it took every ounce of restraint she had not to press her own lips against those before her... and it was with a strength Willow never could’ve imagined herself possessing that she pulled back just slightlu andd placed two fingers against the smoothest, most luscious surface she had ever felt.
“Oh Goddess...I want so much to be with you; I love you Tara, more than I can say, and the last thing I want to do is make you think I don’t by pushing you away... But I can’t kiss you before I tell Oz it’s over. I owe hime more than that. Okay?”
Tara couldn’t speak- could hardly breathe- as she nodded her understanding and walked into the hospital hand in hand with her beloved as four little words circled her head, I love you Tara.

[AlysonGoddess]

awwwww so adorable I cant wait to see how it goes from here so update soon pretty please!!!
Erin

[amber addict]

How embarrising for Tara!!!

But Willow was right


Oz does need to know first

[willohand]

Talk about will power...huge pun intended in every way. But yeah willow showed some real will power in not kissing those lips she crave so much. Oh she must really love tara to not kiss her. If that makes any sense to anyone but me please raise your hand.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

sorry, no update yet, just wanted to thank y'all for the responses and tell you an update will hopefully be soon...perhaps even tomorrow, if i blow of some hw.


AlysonGoddess: glad you liked! sorry to've kept you waiting so long

amber addict: yes, poor tara, but i think the whole 'i love you' thing made up for it...

willohand: yes, it makes perfect sense; the way i figure(and plan to write) it, Will wants everything to be perfect when she and Tara finally start over...she's been waiting(all be it unconsciously) for so long, she doesn't want anything to be standing in their way. thanks for the response Shawnie, i was beginning to worry that after two weeks of me being out of town and not updating, u'd forgotten about my little fic:(

...and now i've of course gone another two weeks cause of school...but i'll hopefully be updating sometime tomorrow, and once i get back in the swing of school, updatage should be more frequent again.


once again, thank you lovely kittens for your interest in my lil fic...i'll try to update asap!

[willohand]

Fear not. I could never forget about this fic. I mean seruiosly, how can I?
So more waiting on my part is being asked for huh? alright but Im waiting against my will. Under protest as well. Oh by the way welcome back from vacation.

[db]

So, all she has to do is tell Oz and then Willow and Tara can get with the smoochies?

somehow I am thinking it is going to be a tad more complicated than that.

I hope Dawnie is ok, and I hope to find out what happens next some time in the very near future...

db

[CrazyTaraWitch]

hey kittens, so the update's taking so long; i promise it will be up tonight, cause off some of my hw...i have another update written to, but I probably won't finish typing it this evening unless i get really procastinaty with my school stuff...which may well happen, but we'll just have to see:)

anyway, just thought i'd y'all know more's on its way shortly!

[CrazyTaraWitch]

the update is FINALLY ready...it's not terribly long or one of the chapters i'm most proud of, but i've been quite busy, and this was the best i could do...i hope it was worth the wait
more soon, i promise:)




Paths...
...Re-Disvored
"Auntie Willow!" Megan said as she ran up to the adults.
"Hi Megan," Will said she picked up and cradled the small girl. "Where's Mommy?" She asked, wondering why no one had been watching her niece to notice when she ran over.
"She went to the bathwoom... Daddy was was supposed to watch me," she said with a little giggle, "but I think he forgot... He and Oz went to get snacks.”
Tara was shocked to hear the girl-Megan, she recalled- refer to Oz simply as such. She had expected, especially with the ease at which Megan had call her "Aunt" when she was a stranger, that she called him "Uncle"... After all, he's been supposed to marry her Aunt...
But Tara was brought out of these thoughts when the conversation before her resumed.
"So how is everybody Meggy?" Willow asked the child tensely.
"Wew... Aunt Buffy's been pacing since wight aftuh you weft, and Gwampa Giles and Gwamma Joyce awe vewy upset, and Daddy keeps squeezing me, and when Auntie Em came and towd... towd us how Aunt Dawnie was... She said Auntie Dawnie might not wake up foh aw-while... awe she and the baby gonna be okay?” Megan asked through tears, her verbal regressions into the more childish speech she had outgrown remarkably early showing her distress.
Baby? Tara thought in confusion, they’ve only been married less than six months... She thought in sudden, desperate, agonizing realization, Dear Goddess, she’s pregnant... please protect them, Blessed Mother... keep my niece safe.
“I don’t know Megan,” Willow admitted as she stroked the little girl’s hair and tears silently rolled down her cheeks and into the very hair of the child cradled in her arms. “I’m sure the doctors will help them as much as they can.”
Megan nodded, not really listening to her Auntie’s words as she continue to worry about her aunt unborn cousin, when she noticed her daddy’s return and jumped out of Willow’s arms.
Will was startled when the little girl suddenly broke from her embrace, and looked around to see Xander and Oz depositing unwanted(though perhaps needed) snacks onto a table in front of the distinctly uninterested gang. Xander caught the redhead’s eye and smiled sadly, conveying silently, through the unspoken bond that had formed over their lifetime of friendship, his worry for their shared little sister and unborn niece or nephew.

Willow sighed, squeezing the much-beloved hand of the woman beside her before walking off towards the man she had promised her life to, knowing she was about to break his heart in telling him she couldn’t fulfill that promise... As much as it pained Willow to know how much hurt she was going to cause a man she cared so much about, she knew she had to, because she saw know that her life was not only hers to give... hadn’t been for seven years. Will had believed it was only her heart she had given to Tara and that if she and Oz created a life together, she would come to again love him, as she once had long ago, and love the life they lived, but she knew now she had been sleepwalking through her life ever since she left Tara. She had only re-awoken when she found Tara, because without the blonde, Willow was nothing; Tara was her life, and the redhead now realized she would never be happy in a life without her.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

just thought i'd take a sec to respond to feedback now that i've gotten the posting over with...

willohand--sorry to make u wait, i know it sucks...thanks for the return welcome, allthough i kinda wish i was still in pa; no school, mountains, forests, cool weather, wildlife...sigh...
glad for your continued interest in this story...and i will finish Growth eventually and leave you tons & tons of fb


db: linear stories are never fun, so of course there will have to be a few complications along the way, but fear not...in the end, will and tara will come out on top(and on bottom )
as for dawnie, i can't promise things will be ease, but i have promised she'll get through everything ok, and i plan to stick to that promise
hope you like the new installment!

[DaddyCatALSO]

As someone once said, "out of the mouths of babes...oftimes come gems." Oz isn't "Uncle Oz" which emans soemthing from the get-go. (Heck even in *my* futrefics he's Uncle Oz,and he doesn't even live in the same city, so this made a point.)

[AlysonGoddess]

awww wonderful update cant wait for the next i hope things go well for willow and tara
Erin

[amber addict]

I really enjoyed your last update and am now ready for the next installment.
Please update soon

[willohand]

Hey you... glad we are seeing updates to your fic. I have to say I have suffered some. Have I told you that this story is so beautiful? Shame on me. I have no problem waiting for updates. I mean after all you have a real life too. But please if your able to, update. And even if it is short if it packs a wallop like this last one it is so worth reading. So how are classes going by the way? I mean making me wait you better say Shawnie I am at the top of my class.

[CrazyTaraWitch]

hey guys, dorry the next update's been taking so long, i have lately been the busiest in my life, plus i'm a little stuck on the next part of this story...bt i've finally got some time this weekend, so i'm hoping to get the next update out, but i've got two other stories i'm working on, so no promises. anyway, just thought i'd let everyone know what's up with this story and that i haven't forgotten about it.

[willohand]

no need to apologize. I get you have a real life(damn it) and other fanfics your workinmg on. Soooooo... and I will be waiting and hoping its soon. .

[willohand]

hey you...