Title: Tara and the Kitty.
Author: Blixxt
Email: nzawacki@hotmail.com
Rating: Uhhh... maybe PG-13?
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns the "Buffy" characters, yada yada yada.
Distribution: Go ahead, but I maybe lengthen/alter it in the future.
Feedback: Sure.
Summary: If you've seen Pinky and the Brain, you'll understand. Suffice it to say, this is what happens when I have too much free time on my hands.
TARA AND THE KITTY
"So what are we doing tonight, Tara?"
"The same thing we do every night, Miss Kitty Fantastico. Try and take over Sunnydale!"
THEME MUSIC STARTS TO PLAY:
"It's Tara and the Kitty, Tara and the Kitty. One is a lesbian, the other's itty-bitty. They're both so very
grand, and love the Willowhand, it's Tara and the Kitty-Kitty-Kitty-Kitty-Kitty!"
CUT TO: Tara's Room
Tara is standing before a huge pile of spell books and candles and witchy paraphernalia. Miss Kitty Fantastico is sitting next to her and has somehow gotten her nose caught in the Mummy Hand's grip. She finally frees herself and walks over.
"Say, Tara, what's that you've got there?"
Tara begins rubbing her hands eagerly.
"This, Miss Kitty Fantastico, is my most ingenious scheme yet! It's an elaborate spell in which everyone is magically presented with my Stuff photo shoot, thus causing them to fall instantly in love and succumb to my every command!" She starts to pace frantically. "The only thing missing is a power source. I need some sort of object of mystical energy to sufficiently power the sapphistic magics. But what to use?"
The evening news suddenly pops on the screen as a female reporter steps forward.
"Good evening. I'm here at the Bronze where the legendary Doll's Eye Crystal is now on display. Yes, this incredible source of magical power and lesbian storylines is expected to be quite a draw, as it's just sitting there unprotected. No security system or anything. Jim?"
A news anchor smiles widely. "Thanks, Kate, and now on to the daily body count wrap-up. A mere fifteen people died today in one of Sunnydale's most successful..."
The camera turns to focus on Tara. She rubs her chin thoughtfully as she looks at her furry companion.
"Miss Kitty, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
"I think so Tara, but Flaming O spells chafe me so!"
There is a moment's pause and then Tara shakes her head. "Come along, Miss Kitty..."
CUT TO: The Bronze
The Bronze is filled with the usual scum and Sunnydale residents. Spike is sulking in a corner, still reeling from his breakup with the Mummy Hand. Xander and Tito are giving each other furtive glances, while Buffy and Faith smile and whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears. Willow, sadly, is sitting by herself and looking forlorn.
Tara then walks through the door, dressed in the same "fuck-me" outfit from Once More With Feeling. She puts her hands on her hips and allows a collective swoon from the audience, then narrows her eyes as she spots the Doll's Eye Crystal. She immediately heads over to it, only to be stopped by the pointing paws of Miss Kitty Fantastico.
"Say Tara, isn't that Willow over there looking oh so scrumptious?"
Tara instantly freezes, for her luscious lover of unsurpassed beauty is indeed sitting in the corner. She then looks back and forth from the Doll's Eye Crystal to Willow several times, and finally realizes she can't resist and heads over for a heavy make-out session.
Miss Kitty pops up behind them.
"But Tara, what about the 'Take over Sunnydale' spell? You still have to..."
"Mmmph... Shut up... Miss Kitty... mmph... I'm busy..."
THEME MUSIC STARTS TO PLAY:
"It's Tara and the Kitty-Kitty-Kitty-Kitty-Kitty!"
Voice Over: "Mmmm, Willowhand!"
I love that! 
