Random Act of Poetry

[DarkWiccan]

Well, this happened in chat... so I thought I would share it here...



Kittens... I present... my Willow/Tara Season Six "Rap"

(thanks to Jess, Adam and Daniel for the rhythm and rhyme scheme)



Here’s the story of a sistah by the name of Willow,

She liked white women and she liked green jello.

And a punk named Joss made himself a menace,

Cuz he didn’t like women who mocked his small penis.

Now Willow fell in love with a blonde chick named Tara,

They made out with magick, then they moved in together.

They wore leather.

They were clever.

They moved in together.

Now Tara she was pure, she was chastity-tight, she was the daughter of a redneck.

(Yeah she was totally white)

But Joss had a plan that he thought was clever and slick.

He was crafty

He was sly

He was sort of a dick

He say, “I’m gonna shaft the bitches”

How you gonna do it? Tell us!

“I’m gonna take advantage of the fact that they are both ‘witches’.

“I need some dupes, I need some dopes I need some kind of schmoes”

So he invented three nerds and called them the “trio”

Gave the one named Warren a big ‘ol gun and said,

“Okay, Buddy, go have fun”

But Willow starts wonderin’ just maybe if

While she and Tara are making love all metaphorical

Is Joss planning a murder not at all allegorical?

So she hurries home to the Summers place

Grabs her and Tara and their stuff, and leaves without a trace

Goes to the Kittens’ door (who set up shop in Season 4)

Who say,

“Welcome, you’re safe here! You’re never a bore!

“We’ll keep you

“Pure!

“We’ll keep you

“Clean!

“We’ll keep you

“Safe under our roof!

“No don’t you go worryin’ about what those bad men want to do.”

It’s true!

Joss blew!

Now what’s he gonna do?

And Joss say,

“Man, this is getting pretty scary.”

And all of his series’ committed Hari Kari.

Warren got caught, but he probl’y copped a plea

Loaded up his bags

And moved to Beverly

Hills, that is…



Word.

DW

"Promise me you'll never be linear." "On my trout." Support The Arts! TLC Fundraiser Forum

Edited by: DarkWiccan at: 1/16/05 12:24 am

[eat4me]

Darkwiccan,



Wow! I am relatively new to Pens, and stumbled onto this thread tonight. I didn't expect to find award winning poetry!! What a pleasant surprise! Do you write for a living?



Thank you so much for sharing this with us kittens! I am sure they will all agree with me when I say this poem/rap is "da bomb".



-Liz (aka eat4me)

[LadyBrymstone]

DW,



This creation happened in chat and I missed it? Bah!



You make 50 Cent look like small change, girl. This rap's da bomb!



Fo shizzle!



(Ok, I'll stop now, my whiteness is terrifying. )

~LadyB~

---

"I feel like, I wouldn't like me if I met me." - T & S

Edited by: LadyBrymstone at: 1/16/05 5:47 am

[Spikeizmine87]

That was awesome!!!!!!

-Rose

"You were everything, everything that I wanted, we were meant to be supposed to be, but we lost it. All the memories so close to me just fade away.."-Avril

[terra21]

DW you're such a character



You crack me up.





terra

[thebardgirl]

Fabulous.



Makes me want to take "Without Me" by Eminem and have fun with it, lyrically that is, seeing as that's my latest favorite song.



*shrug*



Ah, that was a joy to read (and try to sing outloud).



-elizabeth



edited to add this rap, because elizabeth had fun for two hours and wanted someone to see all her hard work and pat her on the back, smiling while replacing her medications with Ridlin with the other hand.





On Watching the Seventh Season of Buffy (Tuned to W/O Me, by Eminem)





Two lesbian characters now down the damned drain,

Down the damned drain, down the damned drain.

(*wickah-wickah-wick-wick*)

Two lesbian characters now down the drain,

Down the damned drain, down the damned drain.

(*wickah-wickah-wick-wick*)





I guess it’s back,

Back again,

Buffy's back,

For the end,

Guess it’s back, guess it’s back, guess it’s back, guess it’s back,

Guess it’s back, guess it’s back, guess it’s back…

Nenuhnuh, mmnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh...



It’s not another monster that comes weekly from Joss Wee like before,

We got a dead lesbian and one off of her rocker.

And now if we want Buffy, this is what they’ll give yah:

A little bit of Spuffy mixed in with the Bringers,

The usual plots we’d expect he’d deliver:

You know, bimbo yelling, “Stop! Don’t drink my blood!”

The shell-shocked girls with stakes-a-shooting,

When we’re shouting ‘bout the lack of lesbo smooching (hey!!)

We’ve debated so long, tired of hating

That the fact of the matter is you left us waiting.

You know how much we’d like to see

A little bit more of our favorite lesbies

The W.B. wouldn't let you be,

Now you've turned into them, and gone G.O.P.,

You tried to keep us watching your story,

But it feels so empty without Will/T.

So, come on you Dip, say “Okay” and give in,

To the fact that we’re a kitten-attack pack

Ready to shack up for weeks if need be,

Cause it’s time someone shouted, “FUCK YOU M.E.!!”



Now this looks like crap from M.E.

So everybody, turn away quickly.

Cause it makes a kitten a little bloodthirsty,

Cause it feels so empty

Without Will/T.

I said this looks like crap from M.E.

So everybody, turn away quickly.

And it makes a kitten a little bloodthirsty,

Cause it feels so empty

Without Will/T.



Little Hell this, feeling completely helpless

As you watch this excuse for the bliss

That were Willow’s and Tara’s moments

‘Til someone came along to destroy our long-lived WITCH,

S6 comparing? Like a blitz by a hairy

Man that ruined it--put a shoe in for gays

Then decided he’d bided his time; at last

He could ask for Willow’s big crash

And it was a disaster, such a catastrophe

For us to see so damn much blood; what was that Jossy?

Well it’s back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Break your tv antenna, shoot it, so you won’t hafta

Listen in, lettin’ it under your skin like a splinter,

The center of gay-anger: season-seven premiere,

It’s interesting, they were underestimating,

Psh. ‘Course they didn’t see,

The fan-invasion, soon as someone plays a gay one

On the TV; we’re more than three-

Thousand? Try a million-plus. Now repeat please:



Now this looks like crap from M.E.

So everybody, turn away quickly.

It makes a kitten a little bloodthirsty,

Cause it feels so empty

Without Will/T.

I said this looks like crap from M.E.

So everybody, turn away quickly.

And it makes a kitten a little bloodthirsty,

Cause it feels so empty

Without Will/T.



Risk it and forget S6 memories, abandon ‘em,

Anybody that remembers DMW’s random

Shoot-and-strip a live person’s skin

Worse than the big First’s own victims.

And Buffy? You were once fun and silly,

Now a six-year-old, overspread show, blowing.

You’re too depressing and now cold, just go

It’s over, nobody wants a wrecked show.

Joss don’t cry, just give us peace

To heal from the loss of our best femme couplings

It’s hard to know when we first believed

That you’d be different in giving us something

That’d make us happy. It just seems

Everybody glosses over our misery

So this makes us mean and in-sult-ing.

But it’s just M.E., it was obscene!

(True, it’s not the first cruel killing on Buffy.)

But it’s the worst thing since Ms. Jenny C,

To kill someone so carelessly

And use it to get yourselves ratings.

(Hey!!) There’s a concept that hurts

A million or so W/T fans in tears forged.

But no matter how many of us like Buffy,

It’ll be so empty without Will/T.



Now this looks like crap from M.E.

So everybody, turn away quickly.

It makes a kitten a little bloodthirsty,

Cause it feels so empty

Without Will/T.

I said this looks like crap from M.E.

So everybody, turn away quickly.

And it makes a kitten a little bloodthirsty,

Cause it feels so empty

Without Will/T.



repeat chorus







***I'm sorry for hogging the thread, but couldn't think of anywhere else to put this. I'll take it off and make a new thread, if you like, but you did inspire it, and for the record, I'm actually not that angry as this rap implies....really. *sees men in white-coats coming to get her* Uh...oh. Gotta go!

You shanked my janga ship!

Edited by: thebardgirl at: 1/16/05 10:37 pm

[DarkWiccan]

elizabeth - Wow. I don't know the rhythm or the tune of the rap you based yours on... and I dunno.. I think it made it that much better. You totally just blew me out of the water... and right on that you did!! This thread should totally just become a major rap slam... or poetry slam...or whatever they are called. Cheers to you sistah!! You be the shazizzle and whatnot!!



eat4me - Well, this rap is hardly my best work... since you're new to pens, I'll save you some arduous searching and link you directly to my site... wherein you will find my fan fiction...most of which is either on par with...or better than the rap... click here.



LadyB - Don't worry about the whiteness... I'm so white I'm practically transparent. And yeah, the rap happened like 30 seconds after you left... see what happens when you leave? This should teach you a lesson. You must remain perpetually in chat... forever, and ever and ever.... and ever...



Spikeizmine87 and terra21 - Ty, Ty (bows)



Keep on adding fun stuff to this thread if you like!!



Cheers

DW

"Promise me you'll never be linear." "On my trout." Support The Arts! TLC Fundraiser Forum