eccentrictulip - Xander's nice all right in this fic. Here's more.
steph - I agree, brave, loving
what a gal.
Jen - Okay here goes. You could try private message via the Board
Rating M-15 Adult themes.The little group split up. Dawn and Buffy supported Willow, while Anya led the way as they walked to the nearest busy corner to find a cab. Xander turned, a little uncertainly, to face Tara.
“Vampire Tara; who would have known? My car,” he said. “It’s this way.” Tara fell into step beside Xander, the guitar case back in her hand.
Noticing it, Xander said, “Can I carry that for you? You’re hurt.”
“I’m fine, really,” Tara said. She sniffed and gave a short bitter laugh. “It must be something about being a lesbian witch, all this getting killed in quirky, unusual ways. You know, shot through the heart, bitten by a screeching, egotistical virgin slut-bomb of a vampire, that sort of thing.”
“What, her? The leader? She was the one…”
“Her name, believe it or not, is Chastity. Yeah, she made me.”
“God, Tara, how? She barely looks like she could make a Kraft dinner.”
“Don’t I know it,” Tara sighed. “I was alone, it was dark, it was twenty against one, and you know what? I still feel kind of ashamed of myself.”
“And I thought Harmony was a ditz. Well, here’s my car. In you get,” Xander said, opening the passenger doors for Tara. The vampire slung the guitar into the back seat and slid gratefully into the front. She relaxed for the first time since the fight and let her weight sink against the cushions. Xander got in and started the car. They drove in silence for a little while.
“Could have been worse,” Xander mused as he drove. “Could have been the guy, the one with the gun…”
Tara shuddered. “What a pig! You know, I punched him in the face the first time I met him.”
“Just that sort of face, I suppose,” Xander nodded. “Like if you saw him on a crosswalk, your instinct would be to stomp on the gas.” Tara laughed, then winced as the movement jarred her wound. “I’m sorta glad we’re alone here, Tara, because I’ve had kind of a confession to make…”
“Oh?”
“I was going to tell you this anyway, even when I thought you were a bot. It’s even more important now, I guess. When I was in Buffy’s garden, just before you got shot, I was talking to Buffy…”
“I remember,” Tara affirmed. “It was just about the last thing I saw, apart from Willow’s face.”
“We - straightened a few things out. Everything had been falling apart for weeks. Willow’s problems with magic, the wedding, Buffy going crazy, and all that business with Spike…well, we talked out a few things, and then I said something that - I’m not proud of.”
“What?”
“I said to Buff that I didn’t know what I’d do without her and Will.”
“But that’s a really nice thing to say.”
“Well, yeah, but - I forgot about you. And sixty seconds later you were dead. I didn’t even find out until hours later. I keep thinkin’ - I know it’s stupid, but - maybe if I’d thought about you, too, if I’d said ‘Buffy, Will and Tara’, because you’d been there in the clutches as much as any of us, then maybe Warren’s last shot would’ve missed you.”
“And maybe Buffy might be dead now instead of me,” Tara said. “I think you sometimes take too many things onto yourself, Xander. Me getting shot was a ridiculous billion-to-one accident; it had nothing to do with what anyone said or didn’t say.”
Xander shrugged. “Well, here we are,” he said as he pulled up at his apartment. Tara got her case and Xander locked the car behind them. They climbed the stairs in silence. “I invite you in,” Xander said wearily, as he opened his front door. Tara entered the apartment and carefully peeled off her coat. The place was surprisingly neat for a bachelor pad. It looked like Xander really was getting his life into some sort of order. “You want a beer or something?”
“Sure, why not,” Tara said, easing herself onto the couch and pulling off her boots. “Can I ask how things are with Anya?”
“That’s pretty easy. Things sort of aren’t, with Ahn, at the moment.” Xander passed Tara a beer from the refrigerator and popped the top on his own.
“You okay with that?”
“It’s funny,” Xander admitted. “I actually feel closer to Anya now that I’m not sleeping with her. I appreciate her quirky, funny side more now. I used to be just embarrassed by it.”
“That’s an interesting admission.” Tara sipped carefully at her lager.
“It seems to fit a pattern, don’t you think?” Xander suggested. “Look at Buffy. She’s my second best friend, and she’d sooner sleep with Spike than with me. And Willow, my best friend ever, I’m closer to her now than when we were dating.”
“The pattern being…”
“That I seem to be suited to have these - um, close, but non-physical, um - friendships, with women.”
“The word you’re looking for is ‘platonic’, and it’s the way that lots of mature people live their lives. I have - had, no I have - several close friendships, but there’s only one Willow for me.”
“Yeah, I know, but, friends are one thing, and you’ve found your Willow…I keep wondering, y’know, who is there for me?”
“Maybe you’ve not met the one yet.”
“Maybe. Can I ask you a personal question?” Xander asked. Tara nodded, sipping. “When did you realise you were, you know…”
“Lesbian? When I was ten. I noticed that I just wasn’t thinking about boys at all. All through growing up and high school, the thought that I should be any other way never crossed my mind.”
“Never thought about boys? Do you still, like, appreciate the male body? Say if you watch sports on TV?”
“I rarely watch sports, but look, I appreciate the work that athletes do to make their bodies look that way, men and women. I admire the things they are capable of doing. Doesn’t change my mind about who I want to wake up next to…”
“You know,” Xander said, “if you were the sort of person that appreciates male bodies, looking around my construction sites wouldn’t be a bad place to be.”
“O - kay.” Tara kept her voice neutral, though she wondered why Xander was volunteering this curious tidbit.
“Well, hot sunny days, lots of guys in shorts and no shirts, workin’ in the sun. And some of those guys, let me tell you, are pretty buff.”
Tara considered this, and asked carefully, “Xander, do
you - like - to look around your construction sites?”
“Every day of my working life,” he replied. Tara’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Oh come on, Tara, look at me. I’m a
carpenter.
I like wood. I’m just a dumb hard hat who couldn’t get into college and even I understand the subtext in my career choice!”
“Oh come on yourself, Xander. Just because you’re a carpenter doesn’t mean you’re gay! Any more than every - son of a carpenter thinks he’s Jesus Christ, or every - plasterer is a drunk.”
“That last one’s pretty well true, as it happens,” Xander winked. “And as far as this carpenter is concerned…”
“Have you - explored - your preference - for the timber yet?”
“Uh-uh.”
“Have you told anyone else?”
“Nope.”
“Well, I’m honoured you chose me to be the first to know. But please, tell Anya. Tomorrow. It makes a lot more sense than that babble you came up with at the wedding.”
“You think I should?”
“Yes! It’ll be a challenge to her, but I think she’ll understand. And it’s your best chance to keep her friendship. Oh, and get yourself a gym buddy. You need to shape up if you’re going to be a successful young gay man, Xander. And cut down on the salty, fatty snacks.”
Xander grinned, though he was blushing bright red. “And now, it would seem, another great platonic friendship.”
“Cheers,” Tara agreed, clinking her can against his. “Um, any idea why you had tonight’s sudden burst of candour, Xander?”
“It was that vamp,” the young man replied. “It was like looking at myself. Willow said seeing herself as a vampire changed a few things for her. I know what she was talking about. That vamp, okay, he wasn’t me, he was older, and fatter, and way uglier, but he was close enough. It was like taking a look at my future self in the mirror - and I didn’t like what I saw. I felt a sudden urge to get real, to - straighten my life out.”
“And now,” Tara smiled, “your life will never be straight again.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Xander grinned. “Has anyone ever told you you’re a really nice vampire?”
(End of Episode 1.6)
A black shadow dropped down into the circle. It was Bagheera
the Black Panther, inky black all over, but with the panther markings showing up in certain lights like the pattern of watered
silk.
Rudyard Kipling
Awww, well, I just know that I love feedback and that's always been kind of a habit of mine. I can be very long winded at times and just keep going and going. And I said before, I'm a sucker for details, so alot of things catch my eye, so to speak. 
I was trying to think, there is usually 5 parts to an epi, right??
-
Need more, B!
quote in there.....lol. xander's "huh?" at the end made it even better.....great update!!!! hope there's more soon, cause boy oh boy.....that ending...... 
really makes very little sense.
. Settle back and enjoy a little more.
That was great. 
I'm glad, everyone's ok.
Can't wait. And the finale is taking shape. I'm going to be sad to see this fic end though. 