"Mission Statement" (Post-Season 6)

[Thanatopsis]

B, no need to apologize. If anything, I'm intrigued more, if that's possible. It's just one more thing to ponder over. I think it's great.

--------------------
Too many of us live desert lives. ~Charles de Lint

[Bagheera]

Jen - no problem, I sent you an e-mail, did you get it ok?

Thanatopsis - Thank you. Here's more.



“Mission Statement” Episode 1.6 “Out of the Shadow”



Disclaimer: JW, ME, blah blah. You owned them, you screwed up, my turn, later.



Rating: M15 Adult themes, violence, moderate to severe Kitten angst, sexual references.



Update: Tara has returned to Willow as a vampire, but their love endures. Tara occasionally struggles to control her violent vampire nature, while Willow is on the long path to recovery from her Dark Magic rampage and her treatment at the hands of the Devonshire coven. They help each other as much as they are able. Thus far, they have been pretending that Tara is a bot. Dawn has discovered the truth, but appears unperturbed and hasn’t told anyone else. She also seems to know something…It’s a couple of weeks since Episode 1.5.



Song credits: “Constant Craving”, k.d. lang & Ben Mink; “Hotel Womb”, S. Kilbey.



Dawn, Buffy, Willow, Xander and Anya were crowded around one of the tiny tables of the Espresso Pump. Under the white spotlight, Tara was strumming and singing of her “constant craving”. Willow for a moment wondered if Tara was referring to blood or to herself, but then she noticed the soul-deep look the guitarist flashed her each time she played the chorus, which left the redhead in no doubt. Wow, Tara’s singing a song just for me, she thought. No-one ever did that for me before. I’ll have to thank her properly when we get home. The other Scoobies are enjoying the show too, but it’s a bit embarrassing that they give me all the credit for this. Except Dawn, of course. It’s amazing she’s so cool about all this.



I wonder if Dawn or anybody else would be cool if they knew I was using magic again, Willow continued. Okay, I did one spell one time, but I can feel my powers gradually returning. Take last night, for instance. Tara gave me the night off from the deep stuff, the stuff that she does with me, but I’m meditating every night and I think even that’s helping. I’m feeling more like myself every day. And Tara’s right. It’s inevitable the magic will come back, so I’ve got to be sensible and responsible about it. So after meditating for an hour, Tara had me sit still and levitate a pencil for half an hour straight. I was cross-eyed by the end of it, but at least I feel like I’m in control. At least, I still find it easy to say no to doing spells.



The down side is that feeling more like myself means that I have to come to terms with what I did. I don’t know what I can say to Buffy or do to make things right. I look and look inside myself and I can’t for the life of me think of anything I could have done differently. Going after Warren and Rack and the other two nerds was as automatic as breathing; it was as simple as putting one foot after the other. And it’s one thing that Tara can’t really help me with. I’ve tried to talk to her about it, and I think her vampire nature gets in the way. She doesn’t seem to see anything wrong with what I did, which is frankly a little disturbing. I still think there’s some part of the real Tara in her, Goddess I hope so, but sometimes it can seem to be a little hard to find.



Willow looked around at the nodding, appreciative faces of the Scoobies. Xander was becoming quite a fan of Tara; he made a point of coming along every time the blonde witch played. It was Dawn’s second time out and she was much the same. Anya seemed bemused by it all; perhaps she was wondering what all this had to do with Willow dealing with her grief. Buffy seemed a little distant tonight, but that had been her way just lately; Willow wondered if something was preoccupying the Slayer. Maybe the identity of her mysterious secret admirer was preying on her mind. Every few days, single roses were appearing in the letter box; lately too, the odd box of candy. Tara had not so far managed to spot the elusive poster, but she did tend to spend most of the day playing guitar or cleaning the house. There was still nothing new on the slayage front. Buffy and Tara had patrolled a couple of times since that slightly awkward first night, with no further insights into any unusual goings-on in Sunnydale. Tara had changed her fighting style, despatching the vamps with a ruthless economy of effort that left even Buffy impressed.



Willow musings were interrupted, for Tara had finished her song to a warm burst of applause, the Scoobies’ table by no means the loudest or the most appreciative. Almost immediately she began another, her voice pouring forth like warm honey. For one verse, Tara caught Willow’s eye and winked as she sang:



Morning comes at last

And she’s lying by my side

She’s got the face of the widow that keeps following me

The body of my bride.



Willow smiled a little, then leant forward attentively as Tara moved into the instrumental bridge. It was while playing this part of the song, as her left hand explored high on the fret board, that Tara broke a string. A few patrons noticed and there was a low groan of disappointment. Tara shrugged, finished the song as best she could and announced that she was taking a very short break for repairs. She fished a paper packet containing a fresh string out of her guitar case and left the spotlight.



The vampire sat at an empty table adjoining the Scoobies’, her guitar across her knees. First, she discarded the broken filament which had snapped, as these things usually do, at the nut, where the string leaves the fret board to wind around the tuning peg. Willow reached over and took it from her. Tara smiled her thanks.



“Sounding great tonight as usual,” Xander commented.



“Yeah, you’re really amazing, Tara,” Dawn added, with just the tiniest emphasis on the “you’re”. Tara flashed the teenager a brief annoyed glance, then softened it with a smile.



“It’s very…melodic,” Anya put in.



“Thanks, guys,” Tara said, fitting the fresh string over the bridge. “I do hope that’s not a full-strength coffee they’re letting you have, Dawn?”



“Decaf latte,” the teenager moaned. Tara nodded and reattended to the job at hand. Dawn watched, and then jumped as Tara let out a low hiss. While extracting the remaining fragment of broken string from around the tuning peg, the sharp end of it had pricked her finger. Even from where she was sitting, Dawn could see the droplet of dark blood on the end of Tara’s finger.



(To be continued)

[NewRuthRising]

Oh crap! Bots don't bleed! I don't think the Scoobs are going to believe even Willow could make her that lifelike. Looks like the cats out. Keep going, please!!!!!!



Ruth

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes I get the distinct impression that none of us are as cool as we think we are. Hm. - Tommo

[funkyasian]

Damn!! - there's blood...that means the gang's going to find out the hard way...oh oh...



steph

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. ~ Oscar Wilde

[LeatherQueen]

Uh-oh.



This... ought to be interesting. And I LOVE that you used "Constant Craving". Love that song...

--------------------------------


"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance." - K. Simpson


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

[Bagheera]

Ruth - Oop. I forget to put in an ACK warning with this update (Anguished Cliffhanger Kittens). More coming tomorrow, my deadline is looming. There are major cliffhangers in this Episode, so the best thing's probably to crank it out.



steph - but how hard will the way be? stay tuned



LeatherQueen - Thank you. Yes, the "Constant Craving" a nice double meaning, I thought. But how about the line in "Hotel Womb" - Willow is simultaneously Tara's bride and her widow - that sort of fitted too, I thought.



no-one digs The Church on this board. Sorry, but lyrically, they just fit

A black shadow dropped down into the circle. It was Bagheera
the Black Panther, inky black all over, but with the panther markings showing up in certain lights like the pattern of watered
silk.
Rudyard Kipling

[xita]

That's what I was waiting for hee. Tara to cut herself. Bots don't bleed. And Willow seems to be having a hard time find the Tara inside Tara. This is not good.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

[snuggle79]

oops, that blood could become a problem. I'm curious if this is going to be the way the other Scoobies will discover Tara's secret!

Great Update!

Tara:"Maybe we dreamed it."

Willow:"Right. Right. Wrong! (points at her head ) Different Brains." Tara:"Oh yeah."


Can we just skip it? Can...can you just be kissing me now?

[eccentrictulip]

oh boy. here we go.....

*please use both hands....*

[Bagheera]

Xita - Excellent, thanks, you're noting the key elements in this update. No, it's not good, but it's not really bad either.



snuggle79 - Thanks, ah as Rumpole always says "The secret is in the blood".



eccentrictulip - Stand by, next update will be real soon.

A black shadow dropped down into the circle. It was Bagheera
the Black Panther, inky black all over, but with the panther markings showing up in certain lights like the pattern of watered
silk.
Rudyard Kipling

[willntlover]

Don't leave it there!! I wanna knlw what happens!!! MHope that the Scoobs don't freak on Willow. Loving it



-Will

"Hear that baby? You're my always."

"well, you know, when you play a lesbian witch you've gotta get killed in this fun kind of exciting way, so the heart was the way to go..."

"we have the most amazing fans though they LOVE us."

[ZipityDoDa]

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. .

=Jessica=

[Bagheera]

Will - sneaky cliffhanger, yeah, I know. Stand by, I'll post the next update when I get home from work; I've had to increase my updating frequency becasue the Season 7 broadcast premiere is going to be earlier than I thought.

A black shadow dropped down into the circle. It was Bagheera
the Black Panther, inky black all over, but with the panther markings showing up in certain lights like the pattern of watered
silk.
Rudyard Kipling

[Thanatopsis]

Hmmm. A cliffhanger, how unlike you and a nice sneaky one too. I love it. The question is, will anyone else notice? For some reason, I didn't think the shit was gonna hit the fan so soon.

--------------------
Insist upon yourself and never imitate. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

[Bagheera]

Jessica - eep! Have you changed your avatar, I didn't notice the head doing that funny twirly action before?



Thanatopsis - Thank you, ah another nice "hmmmm" I've been missing those. Sneaky cliffhanger, yes, wait till the update, you'll see just how sneaky. "Will anyone notice?" - indeed.

A black shadow dropped down into the circle. It was Bagheera
the Black Panther, inky black all over, but with the panther markings showing up in certain lights like the pattern of watered
silk.
Rudyard Kipling

[Bagheera]

Rating M15 – Angst, violence.

ACK Warning (Anguished Cliffhanger, Kittens)



Song credit: “No Explanation” S. Kilbey



“Guys!” Dawn shouted, half-jumping out of her seat. All heads at the table turned in her direction. Tara used the momentary distraction to surreptitiously lick clean her injured finger and complete the restringing. “You know what would be a great idea? If Tara got a band together and played concerts at my school. I think she’d totally rock, don’t you?”



“I’m not sure if we really should be looking at this as a career or anything,” Buffy pointed out. “It’s more of an experiment, right Will?”



“Also to get me out of the house in the evenings. And for a little extra cash. Tara’s helping to put you through college, young lady,” the redhead smiled at Dawn. Tara slung her guitar back over her shoulder and walked back to the spotlight, to soft applause from the Espresso Pump patrons. She nodded, thanked the crowd and apologised for the delay. She began a song of exquisite sweetness, almost saccharine, but that voice and the contrast in the lyrics carried the day:



You pull the sheets around your throat

Talking like the harpy again

I’ve had this heartache in my coat

Since I don’t remember when

It’s guaranteed to live and to bleed

And you feed it with your bitterest lies

Hope you can see what that’s done to me

But I don’t care to look into your eyes

There’s no explanation.



Willow started when Tara sang the phrase “It’s guaranteed to live and to bleed.” One can only hope I guess, she thought wistfully. The living part, but I could probably do without the bleeding. There’s been too much of that already. Nice tune, though. Very hummable.



When her set was over and Tara had collected her earnings for the evening, she rejoined the Scoobies at their table. She squeezed a chair in beside Willow’s and took the redhead’s hand. The Scoobies’ coffees were finished, but no-one seemed particularly inclined to leave.



“Another musical triumph, Tara,” Xander grinned. “And still, bot and all, less scary than seeing Giles playing here.”



“You okay, Buffy?” Willow asked her friend. “You’ve hardly said a word all evening.”



“I don’t know what it is,” the Slayer admitted. “I just…have this feeling I’m not getting something. That there’s something going on in Sunnydale and I don’t have a clue about it.”



“There’s nothing happening of note in the demon world, if that’s any help at all,” Anya offered.



“A new Big Bad rising?” Xander suggested. “Whatever, these things always show themselves eventually.”



“I know,” Buffy sighed. “It just grates, the waiting. Like with Warren’s nerd trio. I always felt we – I, left it until too late to go after them.”



“Even with perfect hindsight, can you see anything you’d do differently?” Tara asked. “Anything you could have found out and acted on sooner?”



“No, I guess not,” the Slayer admitted.



“So maybe you should stop worrying and go with it for a bit. Like tonight,” Dawn said.



Buffy made a brief humming noise to indicate that she agreed, mostly.



“You good?” Tara whispered to her lover.



Willow sighed and nodded. “That was nice, when you sang especially for me. I was going to thank you later properly, but I thought I’d just mention it, for now.”



“It’s always nice to know I’ve – connected – with my audience,” the vampire replied.



“Definitely.” The redhead gave her a naughty little grin.



“Well, I guess we should make a move,” Xander said, yawning and stretching. “Kinda late and all.” One by one the Scoobies rose to their feet and they left the Espresso Pump. Ray called Tara over for a quick final word.



“What’d Ray want?” Willow asked as Tara caught up with them out on the street.



“Reminder about my next gig in two days,” the vampire replied. “He said something about some guy being interested in seeing me play.”



“What did I tell you?” Dawn said, a little smugly. “Tara totally rocks.” Tara disengaged herself from Willow and gave the teenager a little squeeze.



“You sort of rocked yourself, back there. Thanks,” the vampire whispered in Dawn’s ear, too low for the others to hear.



“Least I could do,” Dawn whispered back, smiling widely.



They walked together for a block or two from the Espresso Pump. Anya was about to offer her excuses and make her own way home when Tara suddenly stopped and looked around. She carefully put her guitar case down.



“Tara? Honey, what is it?” Willow asked.



“Okay, when a bot has keener senses than a Slayer, I get embarrassed,” Buffy commented, but then she went silent, too. A row of dark figures blocked the street several yards ahead of them. A second line appeared silently, cutting off their escape to the rear. In the shadows on either side, they could make out more of them. There were at least twenty.



“Now aren’t you glad those vague Slayer vibes weren’t all for nothing?” Xander asked Buffy with forced good cheer.



“What do you want?” Buffy called out.



One of the shadowy figures stepped into the pool of light cast by a street lamp. Tara groaned inwardly as she recognised Chastity from the crypt. Her taste in clothes and make-up had not improved one iota. Midriff bare down to the inguinal ligament, loud pink T-shirt and tiger skin tights that she seemed to have oozed into rather than put on. Ugh.



“Oops, I did it again, didn’t I?” the skinny vampire asked Tara. The blonde witch said nothing.



“What the frilly heck are you talking about?” Buffy demanded.



“I’m not talking to you,” Chastity snarled back, returning her attention to Tara. “I’ve got you trapped again, with no chance of escape, haven’t I? But now, I’ve brought a little more persuasion.” She waved, and another vampire stepped forward into the light. Tara recognised the chubby male vamp she had punched in the face. He was quite unmistakeable, he looked as if he hadn’t changed his clothes or even washed them since their previous encounter. Only this time, he had a pistol in his hand, and it was pointed at the Scoobies.



(To be continued)

[willntlover]

eep!! Well, go you witht he update!! Now i can worry about everyone getting out safe Loving it!!!

-Will

"Hear that baby? You're my always."

"well, you know, when you play a lesbian witch you've gotta get killed in this fun kind of exciting way, so the heart was the way to go..."

"we have the most amazing fans though they LOVE us."

[xita]

oh .. false alarm but hey here's another opportunity for the truth. Even if they escape this one, it is starting to wind back unto itself. Excellent!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Childie -"Not all girls are raving bloody lesbians, you know!"

George - "That's a misfortune of which I am perfectly well aware."

The Killing of Sister George

[Bagheera]

Will - Hey, and thank you. The updates will go at a rate of 5 a week for at least the next 4 weeks. As I've explained elsewhere, I want this thing finished and posted before the US S7 premiere. I've spent a rather happy evening sipping chardonnay and typing 1.10.2, which I have to say is a charmer (also hence the large number of updates available).



Xita - yep, now I remember why I didn't put an ACK warning with Pt 1, because it was a nasty cruel red herring! This is a proper cliffhanger, this time. The gun is real, the vamps are real, and yes, it could all unravel here. Stand by for more. No-one, I absolutely guarantee, no-one is going to anticipate the ending of this episode. Anyone who disagrees, post now, or forever......

A black shadow dropped down into the circle. It was Bagheera
the Black Panther, inky black all over, but with the panther markings showing up in certain lights like the pattern of watered
silk.
Rudyard Kipling

[Thanatopsis]

Tricky, tricky, narrowly escaped being found out once and here we are again. I'm torn. Part of me thinks they're gonna narrowly escape again and part of me thinks that it's about time the gang found out. Plus the title makes me wonder. Can't wait for more.

Because he's with Willow. And if something ... happened, I'd know...
Insist upon yourself and never imitate. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

[Bagheera]

Thanatopsis - I was sneaky wasn't I? Out of the frying pan into the fire we go. Stand by for a tense Pt 3.



PS: Wasn't there a reference in Episode 5 to a shadow? Oo, there's a blatant clue.

A black shadow dropped down into the circle. It was Bagheera
the Black Panther, inky black all over, but with the panther markings showing up in certain lights like the pattern of watered
silk.
Rudyard Kipling

[Thanatopsis]

I know there's been previous references to shadows, I think in relation to Willow and the probing Tara's doing. Though didn't one of the songs Tara sang have Shadow in the title? Course, now I have to go back and reread the last episdde and over analyze it to death.

Because he's with Willow. And if something ... happened, I'd know...
Insist upon yourself and never imitate. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

[Bagheera]

Relax, Thanatopsis, it's too obscure. But if you sort it out, major kudos to you.

A black shadow dropped down into the circle. It was Bagheera
the Black Panther, inky black all over, but with the panther markings showing up in certain lights like the pattern of watered
silk.
Rudyard Kipling

[tiredsoul]

This is a great fic. I shamelessly admit that I just caught up on it. I like the idea of Willow getting her wish granted but it still didn't work out totally in her favor.



*sigh* Why couldn't ME have had Tara sing more on the show?



--celia

---------------------------------

"That was just rude. Now I forget what I was saying."

[LeatherQueen]

Ohhh... sneaky, sneaky Bagheera. Get us all worked up over nothing and then spring that surprise on us when we're least expecting it. Very nice.

--------------------------------


"But when they're playing your song on the jukebox in Hell, you might as well dance." - K. Simpson


"Futile... like a FOX, baby!" - Tara in The Late Shift by wiccachica

[funkyasian]

you know...out of one danger right into another. just absolutely terrific. but very gripping...can't wait for the next one...



you know...it's curious to see dawn's reactioin...she helped out in the espresso pump so no one would see tara bleed...part of me think this trusting of vampires (first spike, and now tara) will backfire on her at one point...or maybe not...



steph

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. ~ Oscar Wilde

[Thanatopsis]

Bagheera, I was actually just kidding about the anaylzing it to death. I'm not sure I have the time to read the episode over and over again. Though now that I've been challenged... Kidding, still kidding.

Because he's with Willow. And if something ... happened, I'd know...
Insist upon yourself and never imitate. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

[snuggle79]

oh oh....

Tara:"Maybe we dreamed it."

Willow:"Right. Right. Wrong! (points at her head ) Different Brains." Tara:"Oh yeah."


Can we just skip it? Can...can you just be kissing me now?

[Jennpurr]

WOW, B, I had two updates to catch up on. Please forgive me for my tardiness.



DUDE!! These updates were awesome. First, Tara pricking her finger. I was sure that something was going to happen and the rest of the gang would find out, but YAY for Dawnie. Then, you go and pull the other cliffhanger.. ARGH!! This can't turn out well for Tara. How is she going to explain this one??



Very interesting. I've tried to think of how she can get away with it, and not give herself away, but I can't come up with anything. Hmmm... I'm hanging tight though.



And poor Willow. You about made me want to cry when Willow said she was having a hard time finding HER Tara inside of Vamp Tara. That's so sad! I'm sure there's still a part of her there, though, right?? Ahhhhh!!! I'm going crazy here with all these questions.



Need more!



Thanks, B.



Jen

* * * * * *
Quotes from Melissa Etheridge on 8/10/02, in The Woodlands, TX

"I've been to every, one of Melissa Etheridge's concerts! ... No, really, I have!"
"THAT, is a bat! ... Hey, does it have a ticket? ... It doesn't have a ticket!"

[Bagheera]

tiredsoul - Thank you. Willow wished - are you sure? Tara's not convinced. "Tara sing more" - totally agree, she's the house band in this Season 7.



LeatherQueen - Oh I'm a sneak, I'm terrible I know. Stand by for another cliffhanger.



steph - That's an interesting point about Dawn and vampires - could be a little echo of big sister Buffy and her - ahem - interesting track record when it comes to the pointy undead?



Thanatopsis - Now who's teasing whom, hm?



snuggle79 - on edge of seat - good, good.



Jen - Thanks very much. As ever, you give tremendous feedback and I like the way you immerse yourself in the emotions of the characters. There's quite a bit of tension in the rest of this Episode, though there'll be some relief by the end. All the best always, B.

A black shadow dropped down into the circle. It was Bagheera
the Black Panther, inky black all over, but with the panther markings showing up in certain lights like the pattern of watered
silk.
Rudyard Kipling