salue77: Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it. And yes smoochies will be coming, eventually.
Disclaimer: This next part deals with two things that I wanted to address. The first is abuse. There is physical abuse involving one of the characters, not a main character but some people may be uncomfortable with that and I wanted to give them a heads up as from here on out it is reoccurring.
The second thing is a conversation that takes place between two characters. The thing that is discussed
does not take place. I have read the Pens FAQ carefully and have had some things clarified. But I did want to address it as it may upset some people. It is strictly a plot device, I know we all hate those, but I did want to reassure anyone that was bothered by the suggestion. All will be well with our girls.
Thanks for reading! Rae
Part Four “Could you believe Anya?” Willow asked with a shake of her head. She and Tara were walking behind Dawn and Tracy as the four made their way to the movie theatre. Willow’s hands were waving angrily in the air. “I mean all with the “Willow’s new orgasm friend,” it was downright irritating. It’s not like she doesn’t already know that Tracy is just a friend!” Tara smiled at Willow’s mini rant.
“I think she was trying to get a reaction,” Tara cut in when Willow took a breath to start again. Willow was silent for a moment, frowning. Tara caught her breath as their shoulders brushed together.
“Well, I’ll give her a reaction,” the redhead grumpily said and Tara giggled.
“Actually, I think she was trying to get a reaction out of
me,” the blonde pointed out cutting her eyes toward the redhead walking close to her.
“You? Why?” Willow asked looking at the woman next to her. Willow’s skin was tingling where it had connected with Tara’s. She could feel the heat from the other woman and shivered.
“I think Anya feels that if I believe that there is something between you and Tracy then I’ll get jealous and come back to you,” Tara told the redhead. Willow turned her attention forward a slight frown marring her features as she digested what Tara had said. “Or she was just being Anya,” shrugged Tara with a small smirk as she watched Willow’s mind work around what she had said. Willow’s eyes widened. She wondered if Tara thought something was really going on and the thought horrified her.
“Tara, you do believe me when I say there is nothing between Tracy and I right?” Willow asked concerned, her voice small. The redhead stopped and turned to face the other woman who also stopped.
“Of course I do,” reassured Tara with a nod. “I would under-ss-stand if something
were going on though,” the blonde managed to get out around the sudden lump in her throat. Willow’s face was stricken and she recoiled as if she had been slapped.
“Tara, no. I mean Tracy is nice and all, but she’s not,” she paused and swallowed. “She’s not you.”
Tara looked at Willow, her eyes searching Willow’s own. She wanted nothing more at that moment than to take Willow in her arms and kiss her senseless. Tara believed Willow, but the insecure part of her wanted to stake her claim, to let the world know that her heart belonged to Willow and that the redhead belonged to her. But the other, scared part of her held back.
“But, it’s much too early to be talking of such things!” Willow said with a forced brightness. She turned and began walking again, with Tara following. “But it’s still true,” Willow added with a small grin. Tara chuckled and fell in step with the redhead.
“Uh, Will, can I ask why you invited Tracy? Not that I mind and all but…” Tara shrugged again. Willow sighed and kept her face forward as they walked.
“I felt sorry for her,” she said simply brushing away a lock of hair that had fallen forward. “She just transferred to UC Sunnydale and hasn’t made a lot of friends. When she asked me what I was doing today and I told her she looked so sad and lonely that I invited her,” Willow explained. “I remember feeling like that and I didn’t want someone else to feel that bad,” she finished. Tara smiled softly; she knew just how kindhearted her ex-girlfriend was.
“That was nice of you,” Tara told her, pride in her voice as she looked at the woman at her side. Willow smiled brightly.
“I’m glad you understand,” Willow replied her eyes glowing.
“I wish I had met someone like you in high school,” the blonde said with soft regret. “I wouldn’t have been so alone.”
“You’re not alone now,” Willow said quietly, her eyes filled with emotion. Tara, her eyes caught in the depths of Willow’s smiled slowly, her lopsided smile causing Willow’s heart to skip a beat.
“No, I’m not,” the blonde agreed just as quietly. With matching brilliant smiles the two women turned their attention to the other two who stood at the corner waiting for them.
* * *
Dawn was muttering to herself. It was just supposed to have been her and Tara, and then Willow was coming and now Willow’s new friend. And to make matters worse the three older girls were walking ahead of her talking. She grumbled and kicked a small pebble off the sidewalk. Tara turned around and smiled at her. The blonde slowed down until Dawn came abreast of her.
“Hey Dawnie.”
“Hey,” muttered the teenager sullenly.
“What’s the matter?” Tara asked looking at the teenager. Dawn just shrugged. “I know it was to have been just us. I hope you don’t mind. Willow says she invited Tracy because she doesn’t have many friends and she thinks Tracy is lonely.”
“It’s okay,” Dawn shrugged again trying to act nonchalant.
“I’ll make it up to you Dawnie. You and I’ll go on Thursday, just us,” suggested Tara.
“Really? Just you and I?” Dawn asked perking up. She loved spending time with Tara. The blonde Wiccan treated her like an adult, not like a little kid.
“Yep, just you and I. We’ll even stop for a milkshake,” Tara linked arms with her.
“Cool,” Dawn said with a bright smile, feeling better. “So, you and Willow?”
“What about us?” asked Tara happily. Every thing felt right for a change.
“Things seem to be good. Are you guys getting back together?” Dawn held her breath hoping for an affirmative answer. Tara was silent as she looked at the redhead walking in front of them. Willow was gesturing with her hands, talking excitedly. Tara smiled fondly.
“I hope so,” she answered.
“Really?” Dawn squealed.
“I think so. We are taking things slow, so we’ll see.”
“Oh Tara! I’m so happy for you. She’s been real good and I know she loves you and wants you back,” Dawn frowned as she watched Willow talk with Tracy. “Well, I
think she does.”
“It’s okay Dawn. Tracy is just a friend,” Tara told her, seeing the look.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Tara laughed and pulled Dawn forward. “I’m sure,” was the firm answer. Willow looked back and caught Tara’s eye. She smiled brightly, the love she felt for the other woman shining through.
* * *
“I enjoyed the movie, thanks for inviting me,” Willow said to Tara as they walked back to the Magic Box. Dawn and Tracy were in front of them discussing the finer points of the dialog.
“I’m glad you came,” the two lapsed into silence, each ached to touch the other and each was unsure.
“Uh, Tara, would it be okay if I held your hand?” Willow blurted out suddenly. Tara grinned.
“Oh yes,” the two women grinned at each other and Willow felt her senses soar when her fingers interlocked with Tara’s. It felt so
right. They walked along in silence again; this time it was a comfortable silence.
“Willow I have a confession to make,” Tara said suddenly.
“What?” Willow looked at her, uncertain.
“I uh, I don’t know what the movie was about,” Tara admitted blushing. “I couldn’t concentrate. I think I was distracted,” she giggled softly. The two women had sat next to each other feeling every move and shift. Their fingers had touched each time they reached for the popcorn. It had been a sweet agony for them both.
“Me too,” Willow agreed sheepishly.
“Maybe we should see it again,” suggested Tara hopefully.
“Maybe,” Willow smirked. “Definitely,” she clarified with a nod. Smiling the two women followed the other two toward the Magic Box.
“Well well well, what do we have here? A smorgasbord?” asked a voice in the shadows of the alley before the shop. Stepping out was a vampire, his game face on. He had two others with him.
Tracy screamed and froze. Willow pulled her and Dawn aside, stepping in front of them. She felt Tara move to stand next to her, keeping the others behind them.
“You better just be on your way now,” Willow said more bravely than she felt.
“Oh, what are you going to do?” the lead vamp asked and laughed harshly. His buddies laughed as well.
“Slay you,” a voice from behind the vamps said. They whirled around to see Buffy standing casually behind them. Her hands were on her leather-clad hips. The vamps looked at each other before rushing her.
Buffy became a blur of motion, blocking kicks and punches. She took out one with a roundhouse kick, dusting him before he had a chance to get back up. The second tried to come up behind her and with a flick of her wrist she sent him flying over her head, staking him as he tried to rise. The leader looked at her and began to move back deciding he wasn’t as brave as he thought. He turned to run and Buffy grabbed the collar of his jacket, slamming the stake into his back stepping away as he became a pile of dust.
“You guys okay?” she asked looking for any sign of injury.
“That was a, that was a…” Tracy seemed unable to form a complete sentence, her face was pale and her eyes were large. For all the talk her sister did about demons she would have thought she would have been prepared to see a vampire, unfortunately she realized that that was not the case.
“Vampire,” Buffy helped her.
“And you uh, you uh,” she pointed at the small piles of dust, her hand shaking.
“Staked them.”
“Oh my God,” and with that Tracy fainted.
“Thanks Buffy for coming to our rescue,” Willow said after they had gotten Tracy into the Magic Box.
“Not a problem, that’s what I’m here for. How was the movie?” Buffy asked looking at them. She had thought about going but had changed her mind deciding to do an early patrol.
“Good.”
Tracy groggily came to. She frowned when she heard Buffy and the others discussing the movie like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. She looked around wide-eyed. Tracy realized she was lying on a brown leather couch in a room filled with odd things. There was a stuffed dummy, a pommel horse and knives on the wall. Willow and the others were standing in the middle of the room, talking nonchalantly. These people were crazy she thought.
“Willow’s new friend is awake,” Anya pointed out. Willow rolled her eyes and shrugged at Tara who just giggled.
“Tracy are you okay?” Willow asked. The brunette looked a little shell-shocked.
“I, uh, I’m not sure,” Tracy looked around wildly again, almost as if she expected a vampire to jump out at her. She ran a shaky hand through her hair.
“I felt the same way,” Willow told her with a sage nod remembering the first vampire she had seen.
“I think I need to go home now,” the brunette said somewhat unsteady.
“We’ll get her home,” Xander said after Buffy slapped his arm. “Anya and I are heading out now. We’ll make sure she gets home.”
“And I’ll take Dawn with me,” Buffy piped up. Tara and Willow shared an amused look. Before they knew what happened the two found themselves outside the darkened Magic Box, alone.
“Still not with the subtle,” Willow said with a rueful smile. Tara laughed a little self-consciously. She tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
“Uh, it’s still early, would you like to go to the Espresso Pump?” she asked nervously.
“Sure, the Espresso Pump it is,” Willow readily agreed. Tara smiled again and Willow felt her lips responding.
* * *
Willow sat at the small desk in her room, a textbook open in front of her. Her mind though, was not on the chemistry book. It was still on Tara. They had had a pleasant evening. After a few minutes of awkwardness things settled down and they carried on a normal conversation. It was almost as if they had never been apart. It had been nice. It had felt so right. It also caused a deep ache of loneliness and guilt in her chest. Sometimes the guilt got to be too much and she almost staggered from the weight of it. Buffy, Dawn, Xander and Anya had all forgiven her. But she had not asked for Tara’s forgiveness, nor would she ever. How could she expect Tara to forgive her if she could not forgive herself?
Sighing she shut the book and moved to the bed. She turned off the light and got in. Willow reached over and her fingers grazed the pillow Tara had used the night before. The redhead pulled the pillow to her and clutched it close. She took a breath and smelled Tara’s lingering fragrance. Still clutching the pillow to her she drifted off to sleep.
* * *
“The Magic Box. That must be where they have it,” Myra said. She sat in a large ornate chair; her index finger thoughtfully tapped her lip. “I’ll bet the witch knows exactly where the Key is. They most likely have the book we need as well.”
“It’s possible,” Tracy agreed meekly. She kept her head down, not wanting Myra’s attention. Her cheek still throbbed from Myra’s earlier displeasure. Myra’s eyes flickered to her. They were hard gleaming sapphires.
“I think it’s more than possible,” Myra snapped and Tracy flinched. Myra stood up and began pacing the length of the room. “They have to have it! I need it.”
“Myra,” Tracy began. Myra whirled around and pinned Tracy with a glare.
“Enough Tracy. The book is necessary,” Myra turned away and moved to the mantle where the clay urn sat. Myra reached out and gently stroked the urn.
“My life changed that day,” she began softly, reverently as she studied the urn. “The day that scabby minion of Glory’s stumbled into Mom’s bookstore was the best day of my life.”
Tracy remained silent as Myra talked. She had heard it all before but knew better than to interrupt. The brunette kept her head down and listened.
“He had the urn and the book of prophesy with him. The book told me everything! I knew after reading it that I had to release Glorificus. A being such as her could not be left in this urn. She belongs in the world and I at her side!” Myra’s eyes were glazed and she spoke with reverence. “I will be exalted before all others. I will finally be seen as better than
you,” she spat and turned to face the still seated Tracy. “Mom and Dad will no longer be able to compare us!” Myra shouted stalking over to her sister. Tracy cringed and tried to shrink further in the chair.
Tracy didn’t know why her sister hated her so much. Myra had always hated her. Growing up with Myra had been harrowing to say the least. Her sister had tormented her incessantly. Pulling her hair in church so she would cry out, tripping her while she carried the turkey stuffing to the table on Thanksgiving, were just small things. The punches and slaps in the privacy of the room they shared had escalated the older they got. Tracy had hoped that her transfer to UC Sunnydale would have gotten her away from Myra. Unfortunately, Myra had followed her moving into the small duplex that their parents had rented for Tracy.
Myra had followed not long after the urn had come into her grasp. The minion had died of his wounds before telling her of the whereabouts of the Key and the book with the spell that would restore the Hell God. Ever since that day Myra had been obsessed with Glory. She felt that the Hell God would reward her for releasing her from the urn and she wanted whatever Glory had to offer. Tracy, having heard the stories of torture and torment the Hell God would put people through hoped that her sister was not successful.
“You must seduce the witch,” she said bluntly cutting into Tracy’s reverie. “She will tell you everything then. I have plans that the witch will fit into nicely,” Myra said a gleam in her eye. “I need the Key and the book and you will get them for me,” Tracy’s head snapped up disbelief pouring from her.
“W-what?” she cried. Tracy narrowed her eyes hoping she had misheard Myra. “Seduce her?”
“Yes. You said she likes girls. You’re a girl,” Myra pointed out needlessly.
“But Myra, I’m not like that!” Tracy cried out.
“So? What do I care?” Myra shrugged. “I want the Key and the book!” Myra moved to stand over Tracy as she sat in her chair, her face twisted into a scowl. Tracy sat confused, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to get her thoughts in order.
“Myra! I can’t seduce her!” Tracy protested again.
“Tracy,” her sister’s voice rumbled threateningly.
“No Myra! Besides she’s in love with someone else. They are trying to get back together.”
“Then you must prevent it.”
“Myra,” Tracy sighed shaking her head. “Willow would
never sleep with someone else if thought there was a chance with Tara.”
“Then make sure there is no chance,” Myra said flatly her cold eyes boring into Tracy’s.
“No Myra,” Tracy was firm in her resolve. She had spent enough time with Willow to know that the redhead would be devastated. Tracy doubted Willow would even contemplate being with someone else for months, maybe even years. She told this to Myra. Her sister frowned and digested the information.
“No Tracy, seduce her, like I said I have plans for the witch. I don’t want to hear any more about it, you will do this or you know what will happen,” Myra’s eyes narrowed dangerously and her fists clenched. Tracy cowered back in her chair, Myra’s meaning clear. Tracy didn’t want to do what her sister was asking; every fiber in her being was fighting against it. But she knew she didn’t have a choice. She had to do what Myra demanded of her. Tears stung her eyes and she lowered her head. Morosely she nodded her head hating herself for agreeing. Her mind though was already whirling with ways to try to get what Myra wanted without hurting Willow. Tracy didn’t want to hurt Willow and she did not want to cause a problem between Tara and Willow. Tracy had talked enough with Willow to know that Myra’s plan would never work. Myra watched the emotions play across Tracy’s features and frowned.
“Tracy,” she whispered her voice full of menace. Tracy froze the tone chilling her. “Do not disappoint me, you know what will happen if you do,” Tracy shivered as despair settled over her like a blanket.
* * *
Sighing Tara threw back the covers and got up. The blonde had been tossing and turning for the last hour. She was finding it very hard to fall asleep. Her thoughts were crowded tonight and her body ached for the familiar form of Willow. Last night had awakened her need to be physically close to the other woman. And now she was having a hard time convincing herself to just go to sleep.
“Willow,” she whispered, hugging herself. Tara went and lit a few candles, casting a soft glow throughout the room. The blonde sat down in the chair next to the window, her pose mirroring Willow’s from a few days previously. She knew she still loved the other woman. With all her heart and soul. Tara also understood on some level why Willow had done what she had. But did she trust Willow not to do it again? Her heart said yes. Her head was still undecided. They agreed on one thing though, that being away from Willow and the rest of the Scoobies was torture. She didn’t like it. Tara was glad that she and Willow were slowly trying to reach out to each other. Trust had to be built on both sides. She had to trust that Willow wouldn’t violate her mind and Willow had to trust that Tara would not leave her.
Tara knew that was one of the root causes of Willow’s spell. Willow was afraid that if they fought Tara would leave. Her parents had never argued, the one time she had fought with her mother, Sheila tried to burn her at the stake. Oz had left her after seeing the “fluke” with Xander even though he had come back he left her again. And of course there was the fight they had before Glory had brain sucked her. Willow had abandonment issues. She had to trust that Tara would be there even if they fought.
Tara sighed heavily. Would she be there? She asked herself, searching the depths of her soul and her heart. Yes, she would was the soft answer. Yes she would. Tara could do nothing less. Her heart and soul could do nothing else. Tara, her mind at rest finally, got up, blew out the candles and went to bed. With a soft smile on her lips, Tara fell asleep
* * *
Willow absently bit into an apple. She was leaning against her favorite tree, reading her English Lit chapters. The sun was filtered through the leaves casting shadows over the pages. The redhead was so engrossed she didn’t hear the soft approach of feet. She took another bite of her apple.
“Hey,” Tara greeted softly, her smile gentle as she looked down at Willow. The redhead jerked her head up, startled. Her lips curved into a smile as her eyes drank in the beloved features. Tara was dressed in a brown ankle length skirt and a beige low cut blouse with embroidered flowers on it. Willow’s eyes shone as she smiled brightly at the blonde.
“Hi!” she made to get up, but Tara waved her back and sat down next to her.
“D-do you mind if I study here with you?” Tara asked shyly. Willow’s smile exploded and she was nodding her head vigorously even before Tara had finished speaking.
“Of course not, you’re free to study here. I mean who wouldn’t be, it’s a study tree, a great study tree and you can study until you can’t study anymore and I can study and we, uh, you and I can study here at the study tree together or not,” she finally trailed off, realizing that once again she was babbling. “Shutting up now so you can study,” Tara giggled and pulled a textbook out of her bag. The two girls lapsed into silence as each turned to their respective texts. They had spent many hours like this before, sitting under a tree, enjoying the day, enjoying each other. Willow bent her head, a small smile on her lips. It was a start she realized, a good start.
“This gives me a headache!” Tara finally said in exasperation, slamming the book shut. Willow looked up, a tiny frown on her face. Tara smiled and shrugged. “I don’t like the elemental table as much as you do.”
“Oh,” Willow brightened. “Do you need some help? Cause I can do that! Be all helpful and everything,” Tara giggled.
“Maybe later,” she said her eyes lowering shyly. “Right now I just want to enjoy the sunshine before my next class.”
“It is a beautiful day,” Willow agreed her eyes taking in Tara’s features as the other turned her face toward the sun.
“Yes it is,” murmured Tara. She looked over and her eyes moved down to Willow’s lips and visions of them pressed to hers filled her senses. The blonde breathed deep as the light, almost citrusy scent that was all Willow drifted to her, pushed along by the soft breeze that sighed through the leaves. The breeze toyed with Willow’s hair. Tara’s eyes caressed Willow’s profile, her mind remembering those lips on hers, on her throat, on her…
Tara reluctantly tore her eyes away. The blonde pushed those thoughts aside. She took a deep breath and looked back at the other woman.
“Will, are you busy tonight?” she asked cocking her head to one side.
“No, do you want me to help?” Willow asked indicating the textbook.
“N-no, um, for dinner,” Tara said shyly, lowering her eyes. Her fingers nervously pulled at blades of grass. Willow’s heart stopped, and her mouth opened and closed, her eyes wide, her mind buzzing frantically.
“Dinner?” she squeaked as she absently brushed away a small flying insect.
“Yes, with me.” Tara told her with a half smile. Tara’s eyes looked at her, smoldering briefly before she looked down shyly.
“Like a date?” she asked her voice small not daring to hope.
Is she asking me out? Willow asked herself. Tara grinned her lopsided grin and Willow felt her heart skip a beat and a familiar ache began in the pit of her stomach and a sensual heat moved through her.
“Exactly like a date,” answered Tara, her voice pitched low. Willow swallowed and grinned.
“Well, let me check my busy social calendar,” she cut her eyes skyward and cocked her head. “Okay I’m free!” both young women giggled.
“I’ll pick you up at seven okay?” Willow blushed and shyly nodded. Tara smiled again and looked at her watch. “I gotta go. I’ll see you tonight?” She put her book away and stood. Willow watched with a bemused smile.
“Oh, okay!” Willow cried when she realized Tara was waiting for an answer. “Yes, I’ll see you tonight!” Tara smiled, and touched Willow’s head fondly before walking away. Willow watched until the blonde disappeared into the crowd of students.
***
Edited by: Ghostwriter at: 7/29/02 6:16:50 pm
at: 7/30/02 12:33:05 am
. She doesn't seem to have any power, other than physically bullying her sister. Don't think she's a match for The Scoobs. 
at: 7/30/02 9:03:33 pm
to Dawn's "Very Doable" comment. Also liked how you wrote Willow looking at her reflection in the mirror saying, ("Tara's not gonna see Super Wicca Willow. She's gonna see Geek Willow. It's going to be up to you to make sure she falls in love with us again."), her words just crystallize so well Willow's fears/insecurities. Or in other words, Willow's self-worth has been tied to being "Witchy Willow", but now she sees herself as "plain Willow". With this in mind, in order for Willow to truly heal she not only has to realize that Tara still loves her, but Willow needs to learn to love herself.
And buig cuteness and blurry eye moments when they were apologising. Cant wait to read more.
