Captain Red and the Denizens of Mars

[veiled isis moon]

Hey!! Keep quiet about Buffy, i dont even think i'm ready to hear(see!) her name at the moment! I'm still majorly pissed off with her, do you see what you've done



I really need to chill out man



Don't think things are gonna get any better between me and Buffy until you sort her out and make her appologise!



Michellex

[Grimlock72]

Alcy/Kiwi,



Good to read this "I’m glad to see that Willow and Buffy’s behaviour has elicited strong emotive feelings, I love it when that happens."... because I tend to hesitate a little when providing 'strong emotive' feedback so to speak . Don't want to upset the writer and such .



Since we have that out of the way (and 'cos I forgot to say this in previous feedback) I have to say I'm a little dissappointed in Willow being such a hot-headed person. That is likely caused by me knowing Willow as somewhat of science nerd who only became hot-headed on very specific topics. Combine that with me not being overly fond of hot-headed people in general and you'll get the general idea.



I'm also afraid her impulse-driven behaviour will get Willow in more serious problems one day. Granted, it can also save her in a dogfight but still it worries me.



You mention Willow and Buffy's behaviour mimicking a certain season, I think Buffy is a season in front of Willow then . Buffy is activly dislikable, where I more or less pity Willow and wish she would behave a bit better. Your writing is far better than either season for lots of reasons of course. One that might be less obvious is that your Tara doesn't seem entireless faultless herself. That's a good thing in my book .



Having watched all seasons I might have a 'tiny' bit biased opinion against Buffy, but I honestly can't see her become a likable Buffy in this story. It's HUGE challenge to say the least.... To be perfectly honest I'm not so sure I want to like Buffy (she's made Willow miserable for years) but thats probably just me . Buffy is just mean, in the true sense of that word. Doesn't exactly endear me to her, which would have been difficult to start with, heh.



Where-ever this story goes it does succeed in getting responses



Seems to me that Willow skips over previous problems in her past with Buffy easier than I ever would. I tend to remember problems (and fights) way to long to be any good as a pilot :-) The lack of other reactions from either Slayer or Devil squadron pilots confuses me, surely those squadrons to talk among themselves about this sily behaviour ? Behaviour which might very well put several pilots in danger...



And yeah I can still get angry at Buffy for wanting to deny Willow any happyness in life . No-one is going to convince me she had another motive either.



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Edited by: Grimlock72 at: 5/13/04 3:01 pm

[KiwiAlcyone]

veiled isis moon: Yes, I know exactly what I’ve done…I’ve created a Buffy hating monster! Aww, do I really have to sort her out? I was having so much fun!



Grimmy: It takes a lot to upset me…well, blatant flaming would I guess but hey, I always say if you don’t like it don’t read it.

I always appreciate your honest feedback, keeps me on my toes. I’m not fond of hot-headed people in RL but I’m really enjoying writing Willow this way and for an action/adventure fic, it suits quite well. Suffice to say, it is somewhat of a change from canon Willow but trust me, Willow’s still there...she’s just a little…angry. We’ll have to see where her behaviour leads us

No one’s perfect and I enjoy writing people’s faults almost as much as I enjoy writing their good qualities.

One of these days I will write a fic where Buffy is inherently likeable!…or not.

I’m really happy with the wonderful feedback I get for Captain Red. I honestly was not sure what kind of response I would get when starting out because of the type of AU its set in. I love the honest responses that wonderful kittens take the time to give.

And you raise a valid point as to the reactions of the Slayers and Devils, I’ll work on that one although that storyline hasn’t been given as much thought as it needs namely because I love writing W/T interaction more than anything, anything else does tend to get sidelined.

I’m going to try and convince you of Buffy’s motives!



Just proofing Chapter 13 now.



Alcy

“Do you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real and you’re just a reflection of him?” Calvin and Hobbes

[KiwiAlcyone]

Chapter Thirteen – “Guardian Angels.”





“Okay baby, I know you and I swore that this day would never come…I know I promised we would be together forever but…these things happen and there’s nothing that we can do about it. I’ll not forget you though…I still love you,” Willow sighed and closed her eyes, “And I promise that I won’t let them melt you into scrap…and when this is all over we can be together again right…just like old times?”



Willow closed one fist around her Draken’s stick, the other hand reached out to trace the instrument panel. She was saying goodbye to an old friend…



“And here we are, let me introduce you to your crate…fresh off the production line.”



“How can you call that a crate? Look at it! It looks beautiful and dangerous just sitting there!”



“Well, you two will go together perfectly then.”



Willow smiled at the young man standing beside her, before turning back to the Draken, running her hand up and down one of the prop blades, “Captain Thompson…”



“Teddy, call me Teddy please.”



“Teddy then…it suits you…did they fill you in about…everything?” Willow asked in a small voice.



“By ‘everything’ you mean your ‘irrational, reckless behaviour’ in flying beneath the viaduct at the Amberly train station and the subsequent disciplinary hearing which almost saw you slapped with the most dishonourable of dishonourable discharges?” at Willow’s tiny nod he continued in a jaunty tone, “Yes, Bryant explained he was sending me one of the stubbornest, most hot-headed pilots in all of Sky Command for me to straighten out… ‘by any and all means necessary’ I believe were his exact words.”



“Nice to hear I’m thought so highly of by the brass.”



“Yes well, I have the strictest orders to keep a close eye on you…” he flashed her a charmingly boyish grin that would have melted the heart of most girls and reduced them to quivering wrecks.



Willow, however, only had eyes for the plane in front of her.



“…but not too close,” Teddy finished quietly, “You might as well jump on in…I’ll leave the two of you to get acquainted. The squadron usually has drinks in the officers mess at seven…so I’ll be seeing you there Red – that’s my only order for the day.”



“Captain Rosenberg sir?” someone was speaking to her, “Excuse me?”



Willow looked out over the side of the cockpit to see the young man who had escorted them to their quarters the day before. Not having really looked at him yesterday, she now saw a short, round-faced young man with thick glasses and the clipboard was obviously permanently attached to his hand. Clipboard man reached up and handed her a thin slip of paper. With a nod he turned on his heels and walked swiftly away.



Willow unfurled the paper to read a very brief, type-written note that requested her to report to General Quincy at 1100 hours. Willow crumpled the paper in her fist and lent her forehead on the Draken’s lifeless instrument panel. In other words a certain red head was about to have her arse kicked yet again…although this time it would be official.



“Looks like we both fucked up Teddy,” Willow whispered aloud.



Willow ran her hand over the Draken’s stick for one last time before swiftly climbing from the cockpit before she started crying.



*****



Willow spent most of the time until her meeting with the General wandering around Angel Island hopelessly lost as she looked for Tara. Several times she was approached by guardsmen and told politely to turn back the way she came as she had inadvertently entered an area that was off limits to all personal without clearance.



After searching their room, the mess hall and the gym she had not only found no sign of Tara but nor could she find a heated swimming pool anywhere. Finally she thought to try the first place she should have gone to find a pilot…the hanger. Sure enough, it was not long before she saw her lover kneeling on the wing of a Guardian, the plain unpainted metal giving it an unfinished look. Willow frowned, wondering what on earth she was doing.



“There you are,” Willow said with some relief, “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”



Tara turned around and in doing so she revealed what she had been up to. She set down a thin paintbrush and a pot of paint as Willow lent against the fuselage with her arms folded, she raised her eyebrows at her lover. Tara smiled guiltily. Just beneath the cockpit she had painted a perfect little horned Devil, complete with trident and forked tail. He was smiling an evil, toothy grin.



“They wouldn’t let me paint the whole plane red…although I asked them really nicely…” Tara began.



Willow knew it was absolutely perfect, one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for her. Yet all she could feel was the crumpled piece of paper she still clutched in her fist. Tara stopped talking, instantly noticing the distracted look on the other woman’s face.



“Um, I-I know I’m a pretty awful artist but why the gloomy face? Is it bad? I can paint over it if you want?”



“Wha…” Willow looked up with a look on her face that said plainly she had been thinking about something entirely different, then she finally realised what Tara had been saying, “Oh no baby, it’s perfect.”



She reached up and put both arms around Tara’s waist, helping her down from the wing until she was standing in her arms.



“Is it not scary enough?”



“It’s absolutely fine, it scares the heck out of me honestly. Thank you so much.”



“Just don’t get any holes in it…please?”



“Promise,” Willow sighed.



“What is it?” Tara asked, convinced that whatever was up with Willow had nothing to do with her ability as an artist.



Willow looked down at her hand and then held the piece of paper up to Tara. Tara took it slowly and unfolded it, smoothing it out until she could read it through. A few moments later she looked up at Willow.



“A disciplinary meeting?”



Willow nodded, “I guess the brass aren’t too happy with their officers working out differences with their fists. We would have been better off doing it with a game of checkers.”



“B-but…I can come with you, testify in your defence!” Tara knew it was stupid before she said it…and yet she needed to say it anyway.



“That’s really sweet of you…thank you…but really, what is there to defend?” Willow asked honestly.



“What do you think will happen?”



“Well, every other time I’ve committed a gross violation of military regulations they’ve packed me up and shipped me off somewhere to learn my lesson…I honestly don’t think they can find anywhere worse to send me than this frozen rock…did I tell you that there is no heated swimming pool here?”



“Will,” Tara said levelly.



Willow sighed, “I know…not a time for levity. Well…they might strip my command from me…bust me back to being a non-com…although there is a bright side to that, I’ll have to call you sir.”



“I don’t want to you to call me sir,” Tara said firmly, “But I do wish you would take these things seriously.”



“I am…I mean I will…it’s just that I’m worried…”



“The meeting will go fine…I’m sure.”



“Oh, I’m not worried about seeing General Whatshisface…although it’s all connected in a way…Tara…what’s my problem?” Willow asked in a small voice.



“Your problem? What do you mean by that?” Tara frowned, stroking a strand of hair from Willow’s face.



“I just can not seem to do anything right in my life…well, except flying but even then my track record hasn’t been so good of late…”



“And making love,” Tara said kissing Willow’s forehead, “I’m not much of an expert…but I think you do that pretty right.”



Willow closed her eyes and brought both hands up to cup Tara’s cheeks, stroking the soft skin with her fingertips, “I thought you said no levity.”



“I’m being serious Will…whatever happens…I love you for who you are, bad temper and all,” Tara brushed the bruised lips with a feather-like kiss, “Although…it is somewhat of a struggle loving you looking the way you do right now.”



Giles suddenly interrupted the two of them with a cough,



Both girls looked up, Willow frowned while Tara smiled softly. She disentangled herself from Willow and ran into Giles’ arms. To Willow it appeared as though the blonde had been wanting to hug the bespectacled scientist the moment she first laid eyes on him the day before. Although, in the group of pilots, it would have not been appropriate conduct.



Tara drew out of Giles’ embrace and went to stand beside Willow, “Giles, I did not get a chance to introduce you two properly yesterday…”



“Captain Willow Rosenberg,” Giles rattled off quickly before Tara had a chance to complete the introduction, “Your reputation proceeds you.”



“It always does,” Willow replied with a knowing smile, “So…how do you know Tara…if the answer’s not classified that is?”



“Well, ah no…” Giles looked as though he were having some trouble, “Um, I was sent to Sunnydale a few years ago, to do some…research and we met there.”



“I see,” Willow nodded, although really she did not. There was nothing in that brief explanation that even indicated that why they were so familiar with one another. Willow suspected there was more to the story than either of them were letting on. However, she wisely decided that now was not exactly a good time to press for further information.



“Want me to show you how this new-fangled thing works?” he asked, waving his hand at the Guardian.



As he did so he noticed the small character that impaired the otherwise flawless metal finish. Giles hastily stripped off his glasses, gave them a thorough cleaning and put them back on. He took a few steps forward and saw the paint can.



“Who…who…” he waved his finger at the Devil design and then back to the two girls, his eyes narrowed when he saw a small smear of red paint on Tara’s cheek, “You did that? To my plane?”



“Well…actually it’s Willow’s plane,” Tara replied cheekily, “But she’ll take good care of it.”



Willow looked at her watch and the knot in her stomach worsened, “I have…somewhere to be. Nice to meet you Giles.”



With one last tight-lipped smiled at Tara, she made her exit.



She was out of sight before Giles opened his mouth, somewhat disgruntled, “She’s doing it already!”



“Giles,” Tara said softly, “Everyone calls you Giles because you know you don’t really mind. If you had just asked Willow to call you ‘Mr Giles’ she would have done so.”



Giles shrugged rather than admit Tara was right. There were a few moments silence before he turned to her and gave her a steady stare. Tara did not even want to meet his gaze.



“You haven’t told her anything have you?” he asked quietly.



“You know I can’t.”



“What if…” Giles began.



Tara’s fists clenched, “What if it happens to her as well?”



Tara shuddered uncontrollably when the most unpleasant memory she possessed tried to surface. She forced it back to the most hidden depths of her mind but even as she did she felt as though she wanted to start mourning all over again.



“You know it might…you two are intimate?”



Tara’s cheeks coloured and she ducked her head.



“I’ll take that as a yes,” Giles guessed, although it was hardly necessary, even a blind man would not have missed the chemistry between the two of them.



“Giles…she’s my lover, not my blood…she’ll be fine, I know she will,” Tara sounded unconvincing even to her own ears, “She has to be...”



“Willow walks your dreams doesn’t she?” Giles asked in a compassionate voice.



Tara sighed, “Yes,” she whispered.



Giles placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, he lent a little closer to her ear as he whispered, “I’m not a military man so it’s easy for me to say this…there are some orders have to be broken, especially in the face of something even more important.”



“You shouldn’t be saying things like that to me Giles,” Tara said softly, “But I’m glad you did.”



*****



Willow was not at all surprised to find Buffy Summers already standing in the General’s office when she opened the door. She took her spot in front of the desk…having done this too many times she was no stranger to the formality. Willow drew her chin up as the General with far too many stars on his shoulder stared them both down. She didn’t even risk a sideline glance at Buffy, she already knew that the blonde would be doing exactly the same as she was. Standing ramrod straight with her hands clasped tightly behind her back.



“Captain Willow Rosenberg…Captain Elizabeth Summers…”



Buffy and Willow couldn’t help but wonder at the emphasis in his voice, wondering if it meant they were indeed losing the pips on their shoulders. General Quincy was cut from the mould of Air Vice Marshal Bryant rather than Boone…much to Willow’s relief. Even so, he was angry…and she felt his anger from where she stood a few feet away.



“Frankly, I am not going to ask either of you for an explanation because I do not want to listen to any of your bullshit,” Quincy folded his arms and lent back in his chair, managing to make even that simple act look threatening, So I get to do most of the talking not because I am in love with the sound of my own voice but because my word is the only one that counts for anything in this room.”



He paused to leaf through sheets of paper. As Willow stood there she reflected on how it never failed to amaze her how much paperwork the military managed to amass. They were in the middle of a war, having arrived on the island just the day before and already the General in charge had comprehensive files on them both. If there was one thing that Willow could be proud of during her time in the military, it was that she had succeeded in generating a vast amount of paperwork.



“Summers, your record reads like a textbook…clear and yet boring,” Willow thought she saw Buffy bristle slightly out of the corner of her eye, Quincy continued, “Rosenberg, in part your record reads like an exemplar to all pilots as to what we want in our flyers…” he paused for effect, “…and in part like the transcript from a military court! How the hell you are still allowed in the cockpit of a fighter plane, let alone in charge of your own squadron completely escapes me. The only explanation I can think of is that someone higher up than either of us has seen fit to gloss over your numerous transgressions…also for reasons unknown.”



Here it comes…I can hear it already, Janitor Rosenberg, Willow thought glumly, Trade in your fighter plane for a mop.



“And to add to the list…fist-fighting in the midst of your men? If the enemy could see the calibre of the Captains we have at our disposal they would be laughing all the way to world domination!”



He slammed down the papers in his hand and took up a nearby pencil. There was no sound in the office except the scratching of the lead across paper as he scribbled a something on a sheet of paper and slid it across the desk.



“Look at it,” he waved at it, turning in his chair to face away from them both, looking into nothing.



Both Buffy and Willow looked down at it to see an impossibly large number.



“Do either of you have any idea what that is? You can speak now.”



“No sir,” they replied in unison.



“That, is an estimate of how many people have been killed by the enemy…military personal, civilians…men, women, children…how does that make you feel? Honestly.”



“Sad sir,” Buffy replied.



“Angry sir,” Willow said through gritted teeth.



“Precisely! And what military we have left are all that stops who’s left from becoming just another number. Those planes sitting down in that hanger…are a work of genius, possibly could even turn the tide of this war in our favour and yet they are nothing but piles of very expensive scrap metal without the pilots to fly them,” Quincy stood, pushing his chair back so hard it hit the wall behind him, he turned to jab his finger at the pair of them, “I want to be able to slam a court martial on you both, especially you Rosenberg…I’d very much like to get you the hell out of the military but you know what I want more? I want to blow up every single one of those blasted damn bloody little…” he struggled for words.



“Little Green Fuckers,” Willow decided to risk speaking up, “LGFs.”



Quincy looked as though he were about to chomp her head off with one bite before he drew a short breath and nodded sharply, “Appropriate,” he said tersely, “And the only way I can do that is to get pilots into those planes and into the air. All the technology in the world is useless without people who can operate it.”



Willow felt a small spark of hope…the prospect of becoming a janitor looking less likely the more Quincy said.



“So…against my better judgment, I’m letting you both off the hook…at least until after the war…and if we’re all alive then I might just be so damn happy that I’ll forget this incident.”



“Thank you sir!” Buffy and Willow both breathed a common sigh of relief.



“Don’t thank me,” Quincy said angrily, “I’m not that nice. Dismissed Rosenberg…Summers, stay there.”



“Sir!” Willow saluted smartly and left the office without so much as a glance back.



The door shut firmly behind her and she heard nothing more that was said within the room. She briefly wondered what the hell was going on but was much too relieved to dwell on it for long…she had to find Tara.



*****



“Now this is what I call luxury,” Willow purred as she rubbed her sweater covered back over the small radiator heater in the corner of their room.



After the entire afternoon and much of the evening had been spent freezing their arses off in a drab little room that served as a training facility, the pilots had finally been released. Willow’s head hurt from studying diagrams of the Guardian and how it operated. Although she had a good head for technical knowledge of any kind, she was a practical rather than a theory person. Sitting down at a desk with nothing but books and sheets of paper in front of her did not make for a happy Willow.



Only now was she was beginning to feel a little better. It felt wonderful to be in a room that wasn’t the temperature of an icebox. Also, the fact that she and Buffy had been let off the hook had sunken in fully. Willow had already vowed many times to never let it happen again.



Tara turned from the mirror after setting her hairbrush down on the table. The dark-blonde strands hung in glassy waves, ends curling slightly. Willow ceased rubbing her back against the heater and just stared, drool threatening to gather at the corners of her mouth. Even though she had not done anything exceptional with her appearance, Tara was absolutely gorgeous. She wore her Air Command issue white woollen jumper, the roll neck concealing her lovely pale throat. The woollen long-johns she wore hugged her shapely legs, the curve of her buttock just visible where the jumper ended. Thick socks were pulled up almost to her knees. Definitely not the most glamorous outfit the world had ever seen…and yet Willow felt a swell of love and warm desire flowing through her body.



“What?” Tara asked simply.



“Don’t ever get all dolled up in a posh cocktail dress with your make-up and hair done all properly,” Willow said quietly, leaving the warmth of the heater to cross to an even more pleasant source of heat, “At least not in front of me.”



“Will!” Tara chuckled, wrapping her arms around the toasty warm young woman, “If I ever did get all dolled up like that, not that I ever have…I don’t even own a tube of lipstick…anyway, if I ever did, it would only be for you. Why should I not?”



“Because you’ll take my breath away and I’ll probably die from lack of oxygen to the brain. Although…I would die a very happy woman.”



“Well, I don’t have a cocktail dress stowed in my duffle bag,” Tara stepped back from Willow’s embrace and peeled off her jumper, with a casual toss she threw it on the floor, “But what about this…”



The ugly, prickly woollen vest and thick socks very quickly went the same way as the jumper. Then pausing to wink at a very quiet Willow, Tara ever so slowly slid the long-johns downwards, revealing her long, creamy legs. Willow’s lips parted, she slipped into full-fledged gape mode. Her fists clenched behind her back as she fought the urge to help Tara take the stockings off…with her teeth.



An eternity later, Tara stood in front of her wearing just her cotton knickers and bra…and a dazzling but shy smile.



“T-that’s…good too,” Willow swallowed hastily.



“Now close your eyes,” Tara commanded in a soft whisper.



Tara-in-charge…I like it! Willow thought with a delicious shiver as she complied.



She stood in the middle of the room and heard Tara’s footsteps pad across the room. There was a small click…the light was off.



Willow couldn’t hear much over her beating heart, she stood waiting for a few moments. She could smell Tara a few feet away and ached to be able to reach out to her. When she finally did touch her, Willow jumped slightly. Tara’s hand closed over her own. Gently, the blonde picked it up, running her fingers lightly all over Willow’s…the tips, over her knuckles. She turned the hand over so her palm was facing upwards, moments later Willow felt moist lips kissing her palm, callused from too many hours spent gripping a control stick. She shivered again even though the room was a perfectly warm temperature. When Tara took one of her fingers in her mouth, Willow let out a small sigh.



“Touch me Will,” Tara lifted Willow’s hand and placed it on her breast.



Willow let out a soft growl of desire as she felt the firm mound beneath her sensitive fingers. She massaged it gently, feeling the way the nipple responded to her touch. Eagerly, she brought her other hand up as well so she had her hands completely full with Tara’s breasts. Willow could only think of a very few things that made her happier.



Willow ran her hands down over Tara’s hard stomach before circling around her back. They busied themselves in the small of her back, caressing tenderly before exploring lower. Willow met the curve of her buttocks and cupped both cheeks in her hand, kneading the firm flesh between her fingers. While one hand continued to stroke and fondle Tara’s arse, she moved the other around to her front. She cupped Tara’s warm sex with her hand, feeling the downy curls beneath her skin. Her index finger probed deeper into the warmth, finding her slit she slipped inside.



“You’re so wet!” Willow breathed excitedly, she crushed her lips against Tara’s…well and truly forgetting the one little problem…“Ow!” the cut on her lip protested at the rough treatment.



Willow pulled back slightly, feeling immensely sorry for herself.



“Stop your whining and take your clothes off,” Tara whispered fiercely in Willow’s ear, “I’ll kiss you somewhere else.”



“Yes ma’am.”



Moments later, Willow was lying on her back…her own clothes strewn about the floor with Tara’s. Tara was kissing her…exploring her breasts, stomach. Everywhere she left a trail of fire in her wake, as well as glistening saliva. Willow’s head pressed back into he pillow behind her, her hands clutched at the sheet beneath her. She balled the fabric up in her tightly clenched fists.



Then Tara was moving her legs apart, spreading them with a gentle touch on the inside of her thighs. Willow clenched her teeth as Tara’s breath fell fast and heavy on her exposed sex. So close to what she needed…Willow began to reach down a hand to press Tara’s head between her legs. With a small moan she stopped and forced herself to be patient. Tara had never done this before.



With trembling hands, Tara spread Willow’s folds open. A low moan from Willow followed her touch. She flicked her tongue nervously over Willow’s warm sex, tasting her for the first time. Willow moaned again, this time a little louder.



Willow lifted her head slightly from the pillow, watching the blonde hair fanned out over her stomach as Tara explored her soaking wet sex. She was so tentative and hesitant, her tongue darting everywhere at once as though she was not sure just where to put it. It was still driving Willow crazy. With gentle hands she guided Tara’s head, she cried out when the blonde began teasing the hard nub at her core.



Her head sank back into pillow, eyes closed, hands still resting lightly on Tara’s head. She became detached from the rest of the physical world and lost herself in a place where just she and Tara existed. As her cries filled her own ears they drowned everything else out…the war, Buffy, Tara’s secrets…



Slowly coming down from the throes of passion, Willow felt Tara’s weight shift. The blonde crawled up her body until she lay along Willow’s length, their breasts pressed together, Tara’s leg nestled between Willow’s sweaty thighs.



Willow grinned and rubbed her cheek against Taras, not caring as her bruised flesh protested with twinges of pain.



“I could fuck you all night,” Willow whispered throatily in Tara’s ear.



“That’s the best idea I’ve ever heard,” Tara replied, her fingers slipping across Willow’s sweat soaked back, “What are you waiting for?”



Willow giggled, “I think I’ve unleashed a vixen,” her hands stroked Tara’s silken flesh, feeling the blonde tremble with need beneath her.



“Well, I’m never wrong…and I did say you were good at making love,” Tara kissed Willow’s forehead as the red head’s hands went eagerly to her breasts.



It was hours later when Tara finally pulled the blankets up over their sweaty, entwined bodies and the two pilots fell into an exhausted sleep.



*****



“Dream…dream, dream, dream…dammit, where’s a Tara when I need one?”



Willow took a hesitant step forward, hearing a squelch beneath her feet as she did so. When she looked down she saw the ground was soaked in blood. It mixed with the dirt to make an awful mud. Hearing her heart beat in her ears she spun around slowly, keeping her entire body tense.



She did not know where she was, she was inside a non-descript building…everything was destroyed, nothing recognisable except as rubble. It was all dark…black and it stank. There were no windows, the only light came from the dying embers of several small fires around her. Willow tripped and fell forward heavily, she scrambled to see what she had fallen over and almost vomited when she saw a body. The sightless eyes of a young women stared at her, pleading for Willow to save her. It was much too late…there was a gaping hole in her chest…shattered bone and bloody, pulpy flesh protruded sickeningly.



On all fours, Willow hastily backed away from the body before standing up again, she choked, fighting the bile that rose in her throat. She was a pilot…even in war she was not supposed the horrible reality of death...not so close anyway. All she ever did was push a button or watch as machines erupted in balls of flame or plunged into the ground. There wasn’t supposed to be any blood.



The shifting of rubble off to her right caught her attention. Willow peered anxiously into the darkness. Slowly she crouched down to pick up a twisted piece of metal…holding it in front of her like a club.



A shadow moved, more shifting of rubble…heavy footfalls. Willow backed away, really wanting to turn tail and run like hell.







The shadow suddenly erupted into the light, a large shape bursting forth without any warning. Willow screamed but no sound came out, she fell backwards over the body at her feet as the hulking shape advanced on her. It would be on her in seconds but all she could do was stare…



It was one of them…



Only it wasn’t little…it stood well over six feet…



And it wasn’t green…for the most part, the humanoid shape was covered in bulky armour, its chest, groin, legs and upper arms. Also its head was covered in a large, ornate helmet…what little skin she could see was dark…near black in the dim light although as it came closer she could see it was a an almost purple crimson.



Willow met its eyes and wished fervently she had not. It hated her…she didn’t know how she knew, nor did she need to know any more than that…



It was almost on her. Willow jumped to her feet, she could smell it, like an abattoir rank and putrid…death and decay. Not knowing what she was doing Willow swung the metal in her hands with all the force she could muster. A guttural half-scream, half-roar tore from her throat as she did so.



Although Willow was dwarfed by the creature, she caught it off guard. The swinging weapon caught it on the side of the helmet with a dull thump. Her hand jarred painfully with the impact as the head barely reacted to her blow. She brought it back around for another swing but this time the metal club ended up trapped within a huge, rock solid fist. With one swift tug, it was torn from her fingers and tossed aside like a stick. Willow had time to gulp once before she was backhanded and thrown backwards. With a thud she landed meters away, crying out as a shard of concrete dug into her back. She had barely a moment to reflect on her pain when, with a roar, it advanced. Willow scrambled backwards like a crab, her fingers clawing at the rubble beneath them. The skin scraped and tore and yet all she could think about was getting away. The hopelessness of any action she might attempt did not escape her, yet she had to at least try. Her fingers curled around a brick, she lifted it and flung it. The creature swatted it away like a bug and lurched forward. The hand swung though the air…Willow lifted her hand in a futile gesture to fend it off.



A claw sliced into her palm, Willow cried out and drew her hand into her chest. She looked up, bravely meeting its soulless eyes despite her terror.







“Wake up!”



Willow opened her eyes to find nothing but darkness…and yet this time it was a pleasant darkness. She smelt Tara immediately and smiled in relief.



“You were thrashing about something terrible,” Tara said softly, “Bad dream?”



“Not anymore,” Willow replied quietly.



She could feel Tara leaning over her own huddled form, her hair brushing against her face. Tara reached across her body to the lamp.



Willow squinted at the sudden brightness but her eyes gradually came into focus to find Tara looking down at her. The sight of her beautiful eyes, tinged with gold as they reflected the lamplight, was more than enough to remind Willow that it had all just been a dream…and dreams were not real.



She reached up to run her hand through blonde hair, trace luscious lips with her fingertips…and remember exactly what those lips had done just a few hours ago. Even just the memory of Tara bringing her to climax sent shivers down her spine…and stirred more than a little desire in her gut once again. She stroked the arm that was still reaching across her, moving for the watch on the bedside table.



“Good gracious,” Tara said softly, “It’s almost five-thirty already…I feel as though I just closed my eyes.”



“Well, that happens when you make love until the small hours of the morning,” Willow smiled, “I’m sorry…next time we’ll have to make sure we don’t stay up past ten o’clock…no wasting time at bedtime, straight to the sex, then to the orgasms – only one each though, that’s all we have time for – and then to sleep!”



“Willow!” Tara giggled.



She crawled over Willow, fighting the urge to run her hands over the beautiful naked body beneath her. Tara clambered out of bed quickly and began tugging on the clothes that she had discarded the night before. Doing up her pants and tucking her woollen skivvy in she looked back to the bed to see Willow hadn’t made a move at all.



“Come on, we have to be in the hanger at six and I want breakfast first, I’m starving!” on cue Tara’s stomach rumbled insistently.



“I’m not hungry,” Willow burrowed her head back into the pillow, “Can you just bring me a cup of tea?”



“There’s no room service here remember?” Tara picked up Willow’s chemise and through it at her.



Willow’s hand shot up and caught it, “Alright, alright…”



Willow frowned as she sat up, looking at the piece of cotton in her hand…a bright red smear had stained it.



“But I’m not…” Willow looked at the palm of her hand to see an angry slash going across it, “…bleeding.” She watched half-fascinated and half-terrified as the blood flow over the palm of her hand.



Tara had crossed the floor in an instant, she took Willow’s hand in her own and quickly pressed the already stained chemise against the wound.



“How on earth did you manage to do this? You have only been awake for a minute and you haven’t even gotten out of bed yet?” Tara was asking.



“I-I don’t know…my hand was slashed in my dream but…”



“What did you say?” Willow looked up to see Tara’s eyes wide and frightened.



“In my dream…nightmare really…this thing attacked me and cut my hand exactly like this,” Willow pressed down on her cloth covered hand and winced.



“This thing attacked you?” Tara asked, her voice quavering.



“Yes, great big nasty looking brute wearing armour. I don’t know why but I had the feeling that it was one of them, you know…an LGF.”



“One of them?”



“Yes…Tara, why do you keep repeating everything I say?” Willow reached up her good hand to cup Tara’s cheek, “Why do I get the feeling that you know something about this?”



Tara’s eyes were brimming with unshed tears and her mouth worked, but no sound emerged. A sudden sob erupted from her throat and she lent into Willow’s touch, nuzzling the hand with her cheek, her nose, kissing it softy. Willow was growing increasingly alarmed, needing some answers.



“Okay, I had a dream…is that it…you had the same dream? You weren’t there though…” Tara tore away from Willow’s touch and stood up shakily, Willow reached out to her, pleading with her to come back, “Tara, please tell me what the fuck is going on here. Why am I having these crazy, fucked up dreams? And if you know then can you tell me how the hell we make them stop?”



Tara drew in a ragged breath, “I should have stopped it before it ever came to this…but god…I love you Will! You have to understand that…I…can’t tell you!”



Willow threw the covers off her naked body and stood in front of Tara. She ached, wanting just to take the young woman in her arms and tell her everything was going to be fine. How can you tell her that? You don’t even know what the hell is going on!



“How can you not tell me?” Willow tried to keep her voice even, “I thought I could respect your wish to keep whatever twisted secret you’re carrying inside you, I still want to but I think I’m in much too deep now…I have to know! How else am I going to keep you safe?” Willow honestly meant it, even though she was the one standing with a torn palm, blood soaking through the cloth wrapped around the wound.



“I’m not the one in danger,” Tara took a few steps backward, “And it doesn’t matter what you say…I still cannot tell you.”



“It doesn’t matter what I say?” Willow couldn’t stop the anger from creeping into her voice even though shouting at the girl she loved was the last thing she ever wanted to do, “What about if I say I love you…that I have since the moment I first laid eyes on you…before I even saw your face,” she choked back her anger, replacing it with tears, “A-and the one thing that’s getting me through all of this madness, keeping me going, is the thought that I want to spend the rest of my life with you! Every single day of it…eating, talking, holding you in my arms, making love to you with everything I am or just fucking you senseless until you don’t even have the strength to cry out my name anymore…hell, I even want to do the goddamn housework together!”



“It’s never going to happen Willow,” Tara sounded so very sad it almost wrenched Willow’s heart from her chest.



Willow was struck speechless, not even for a moment did she want to believe that she and Tara were not going to be together forever.



“Tara?” she croaked pleadingly.



“I have to get away from you…as far as possible…” Tara moved to the door.



“Tara wait!” Willow crossed the room in a heartbeat to stand right beside Tara as she opened the door.



“Don’t…just don’t,” the blonde stepped out into the corridor, “Stay there…please.”



Willow obeyed and yet it was the last thing she wanted to do. Run after her you ninny…hello, naked? Who the hell cares…stop that damn woman!



She thrust her hand against the door, stopping Tara from closing it as she stepped out into the corridor. Tara began walking away and Willow followed in a determined march.



“Just let me go Willow!” Tara didn’t even look over her shoulder, each step that took her away from what she and Willow shared felt as though knives were driving into her feet.



“You can’t just walk away from me like this!” Willow protested, “Have you any idea what you’re doing to me?”



Tara whirled around and Willow almost walked straight into her.



“Have you any idea what I will do to you if I don’t stay the hell away from you? No? Then I’ll tell you…you’ll die Willow, very painfully and messily and there won’t be anything you can do to stop it!”



Tara glared at her before turning and continuing to walk down the corridor. She heard no steps behind her and sighed a ragged sigh of relief. Once she was safely around the corner and only then…did she allow the sobs she had been holding back to break free.



Willow stood in the middle of the corridor, the cold air causing goosebumps to prick her skin but she couldn’t feel them at all. She was numb.



Footsteps behind her.



“Willow?” it was Tad, he rushed to her side and threw a bulky coat over her shoulders, “Did you know you’re standing naked in the middle of the corridor?”



“I am?” Willow mumbled.



Tad gently propelled her back to her room and she went without a fuss…like an automaton.



“Do you need anything?” he asked as Willow started shutting the door on his face.



“Ah, no,” Willow replied quietly as she shook her head, “I have to be in the hanger at six…I’m going to be late.”



“Okay…” Tad nodded but then frowned, “Where’s Tara?”



“In the process of getting away from me,” Willow replied, then she quickly shut the door in Tad’s face.



“Okay, bye then,” Tad said from the other side of the door.



Willow heard his bootfalls as he walked away, no doubt thinking that she was absolutely nuts. Wondering what the hell she had done, Willow sank down against the door and drew her knees up to her chest. As she hugged them closed to her, her jaw set determinedly…she would find out what Tara was keeping from her. Whatever the cost and no matter how the answer would affect her…she had to know.





TBC in Chapter Fourteen – “Darkness Revealed.”

“Do you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real and you’re just a reflection of him?” Calvin and Hobbes

[veiled isis moon]

Okay, i have so many things and questions flying around my head after that chapter i don't know where to start! Hi, by the way!



Tara's twisted little secret just got a whole lot more twisted. What's going on man? I'm thinking Tara has some kinda gift/curse that Buffy(!) and Giles know all about, then you throw in 'Sunnydale' which doesn't answer questions but instead makes more questions. Something freaky is going on here! Giles and Tara seem very close and i'm intrigued as to how and why they know each other so well. The dreams are scary stuff. You have a fucked up dream, wake up, and all is well, but in poor Willow's case she bleeds and the dream holds some truth. I'm wondering if Tara has the ability to see into the future, or if she can just make your worst nightmares come true! and now Tara has finished things with Willow because it's not safe for them to be together. So many questions, i suppose i'll just have to be patient and wait for you to explain things.



I was wondering though about Buffy. She knows Tara's secret so there has to be some kinda history there and she's a little protective about Tara(after that whole kicking-Willow's-ass bit that much is kinda clear!). Then she told Tara that if she cared at all for Willow she'd break it off. I figure being as close with someone as Buffy was with Willow, even though she hates her now, she can't just throw away all those memories and feelings, so either Buffy is just a real bitch.....or she's trying to protect both of her friends but just doesn't know the best way about doing it. So now i'm a little unsure about whether i should be hating her so much. I'll just have to see how the story unravels.



Now that that's sorted you were feeling a little naughty during this chapter! Take charge Tara is very nice and i nearly fell off my chair when she said "Stop your whining and take your clothes off", and Willow wanting to take Tara's stockings off with her teeth



Clipboard man was funny! Doesn't he ever put that thing down, and how sweet was Tara painting a little red devil on Willow's plane. I hope they get back together soon, it's no fun when they're all teary and sad.



Great update, thanks



Michellex

[Grimlock72]

Gen. Quincy finally did what Boone should have done long ago, maybe Quincy knows less than Boone ?? For some reason I have trouble believing that Buffy has an entirely clean record, she was almost like Willow until Dawn died. That surely can't have given her a clean record, smelly smelly.



No way in hell two or three squadrons are going to fight off all invaders though, they would be outnumbered way to bad.



I do wonder if Willow understand the reason why shouldn't behave like she does. She will avoid such behaviour for now because she do not want to be demoted. That however is a deterrent, not understanding. It would be so nice if Willow understood her behaviour needs changing.



I thought it was so very sweet of Tara to paint a devil on Willow's plane. For some reason that make me see Tara really loves Willow better than them making love or talking. Not that there's anything wrong with them making love of course







On to the dreams... yes they are scary, but what are they based on? If they are Tara's dreams (although Tara had to ask Willow what she dreamt this time...) how come Tara has such detailed dreams about destruction ?



For some reason Tara seems to believe that whatever gift/curse she has causes her loved ones to get killed (which would imply she blames herself for her mother's dead as well ? That would be really sad). Not explaining that more fully to Willow and just walking away will have the exact opposite effect she wants. Assuming there's still some True Willow in her she'll research until she has figured out what's "wrong" with Tara. And no, the solution not to have Tara love anyone is not acceptable



Tara has to realise she can't get very far away from Willow as is, the base is not THAT big (couple of miles across I guess.



Appearantly both Giles and Tara know what the problem is. Given that Tara doesn't want to see Willow for now (and Willow tends to obey her wishes) I guess Giles is in for some grilling... assuming Willow is thinking logically. That might take her some time, with Tara walking away and all. Willow was mighty lucky it was Tad who saw her walking the corridor like that, pretty much anyone else and she would never live it down.



I recommend Willow to just stay away from Buffy and react/ respond to anything she does (to a point of course). Best concentrate on helping Tara and rescuing the world, in that order. After all, if Buffy wants to be friends with Willow ever again she can come around and ask... before that happens talking to Buffy is pointless.



Nice fast update by the way, thanks for that!



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

[lipkandy]

hey alcy,

just thought I'd drop in and tell you how much I'm enjoying this story (both of your stories, actually). I'm really amazed at the way you've managed to keep this Willow in character despite an enormously different set of circumstances. I guess what I'm enjoying most is that your Willow manages to be hotheaded and confident (which we only saw glimpses of on the show) as well as powerful without giving in to her dark side. Something ME couldn't seem to manage.

Anyway, I'm enjoying the entire AU including your strong, hell-in-the-cockpit Tara.



thanks again for a great ride.



xomel

[blue and green wings]

nice update. good thing willow and buffy got to keep their jobs. otherwise, the world would be doomed. sure, they might have a wee temper but that temper helps them fight and direct their anger towards the lgfs or not so lgfs now...that dream...uhmm...is it like a prophecy of whats to come? and what's up w/ tara? i know that she's somehow connected to the aliens, but does she have to leave willow like that w/o an explination? looks like i have to find out. oh, and i loved that tara painted a devil on willow's gurdian. hehe...update soon!!

[WillowPowered]

oh crap, see that's not fair. More please and soon.



You're gonna make it all better right?? And soon??



Jill

~~~~~~~~

Willow - Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs did ya?



My Home Page | Amber Powered | Alyson Powered



There is a little bit of Amber in all of us.

[pipsberg]

Great update Alcy! I love the sex scenes and the angst has me on the edge of my seat. You write dreams very vividly... looking forward to much more!

-pipsberg



"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep - it's as simple and ordinary as that."

Michael Cunningham, The Hours

[russ]

This is a major chapter, and, as Pipsberg says, definitely an edge-of-the-seater.



First off, there's hope for Willow: she realises she's a screw-up, in her military career and in her life. It's a start.



Next, the interview with Gen. Quincy. Did you by any chance have Snyder in mind when writing his character? I can really see Armin Shimerman in that role, as long as he stayed seated. (Generals shouldn't be tiny.) He obviously is too lacking in pilots to ground the pair, but they should have been demoted and relieved of their command. I wonder why he manages to make it seem that most of the fault is Willow's, even though Buffy started the fight, and continued beating her helpless victim after she was defeated. Still, it's Willow he wants to court-martial and discharge. He seems to think Willow has friends in high places, I tend to think Buffy does. No matter what she does, her record remains unstained. And what's with the private meeting afterwards? I presume this means Quincy is in on the secret, along with Tara, Giles, Buffy, and everyone else in the military except Willow.



Tara doesn't handle the results of the dream well, but she's in a horrible position. She honestly believes that: 1) she can't disclose her secret, and 2) she can never have a life with Willow, that Willow will be killed by being with her.



By her talk with Giles earlier, she must have thought it only applied to blood relatives. Does she blame herself for her mother's death? Did something similar happen to her father & brother? Now she believes that being intimate with someone, and "dream-walking" with them, will be fatal.



She's overlooking, or unaware, that Willow was sharing her dreams before they were together. Being apart will not put a stop to it; it will make it more likely that a Willow with nothing to live for will be killed the first time she takes the new plane up.



I tend to agree with Grimmy's assessment of the military situation. Unless they have a lot more than we've seen so far, I can't see it tipping the balance. However, it is a huge facility, maybe there's more there than we're aware of. And we don't really know what the enemy's numerical strength is. Obviously they have a huge technological advantage. A technologically more advanced power can pound flat any regular miltary defense. What it can't do is defeat the ongoing guerilla resistance that will inevitably spring up. And if that sounds like a commentary on current events, it is.



Russ

[sam7777]

Great chapter!!! It's dad to see Tara walk out on Willow but it's not hard to see why. If their dream sharing can get Willow injured, I can see how Tara thinks she has no choice. The thing with Tara and the dreams is very intrguing. Like others have said, you write a great dream sequence. I wonder what it all means. I like the mystery with Tara and think it's tied up with what happened to her mom.



I'm glad that Willow is going to repect her wishes while still looking into the matter. I like this worlds Willow. She's tough and edgy but at the same time is the same inquisitive and unsure woman we all know. Willow does have a temper as can be seen when anyone hurt Tara. She may not have gotten into fist fights but she certainly got angry. Willow with a temper works for me.



Thanks for the info on the meteor!. I didn't realize their was another jet in WW2. Great fic and educational to boot.

[barnabasvamp]

OMG!! Heart wrenching!

Poor Willow, Tara walking out on her and she doesn't have the faintest idea why!



Too cute with Tad, and him finding her nekkid in the hall!



Look forward to the next update, must know what's up with Tara!



BV

It's the passion in a kiss that gives to it its sweetness; it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.

[KiwiAlcyone]

veiled isis moon: hi too Trust me, all this dream stuff is making my head hurt too, and if you think this chapter was bad…just wait till I post the next one. My head was killing me the whole time I was writing it. You make some good guesses…but all will be explained shortly. And Buffy knows…stuff

I think I’ve been feeling naughty throughout most of this fic! Cos you know, it’s fun!

I agreed with the teary and sad, we know they’ll be miserable apart so I should just hurry up and fix things!



Grimmy: That pic is just the cutest!

I just wanted to make it seem as though as soon as Buffy ceased being Willow’s friend, her days of rebellious rule-breaking antics were over and she became a model officer. Willow was always the bad influence.

Hey, have faith in me…besides, there are four squadrons on each carrier…minus a few pilots now…

Dreams are going to be fully explained in the next chapter so I don’t want to give away a hang of a lot about them just now. Stay tuned for exposition paradise!



lipkandy: great to see ya! Thanks so much for enjoying this weird AU. It’s always a challenge but no way is Willow going to go all bad and try and destroy the world…just the LGFs. Tara rocks huh? More of her soon!



blue and green wings: Everyone knows that Willow and Buffy are among the best they have (heaven help them all!) so to even have the slightest chance at survival those two are needed despite their dislike of one another. Questions answered soon!



WillowPowered: haha, I’m evil! And I might make it alright



pipsberg: Just don’t fall off your seat! But there is more excitement on the way soon!



russ: It’s a very small start, but for someone like Willow to realise that she has screwed up is a huge eye-opener.

I honestly didn’t have Snyder in mind although there are parallels. Snyder was an all out rat while I always pictured Quincy being good at heart…although this idea is not going to come to fruition as you’ll see when you read the next chapter.

It does seem as though Willow is the only one in the know and you make a good point, realising that something fishy is up when Quincy comes down hardest on poor Willow.

And you make some really good deductions in your analysis but I’m not going to tell you which ones are right but…yes well…good spotting

I haven’t given too many details on exactly what the LGFs are up to and their capabilities, all that will be dealt with in time. Although it sometimes looks as though our girls are in the middle of a hopeless fight…there will be a happy ending…one day.



sam7777: Glad to see I’m being educational! Tara does feel as though she has no choice, she wants to stay with Willow more than anything and yet, for reasons that are not entirely clear, she feels as though she can’t. And I really love your assessment of my Willow – it’s always great to see how the characters come across to people.



barnabasvamp: Good to see ya BV! Hopefully I can fix the heart-wrenchiness in the next chapter. And yes, Willow was very, very lucky it was Tad in the hallway!



Like I said, next chapter is exposition central and I'm putting my all into it at the moment to make sure it doesn't come across as a load of gibberish. Almost done though!



Alcy

Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?

Hobbes: I’m not sure that man needs the help.

[gabbles]

Alcy,

Talk about emotional roller coaster ride...have I mentioned how amazing your writing is? I have...oh, well...gonna say it again...your writing is amazing.



Dream seqences are really hard to write well...and, like others have said, you pull it off brilliantly.



I loved Tara painting the littel devil face on Willows plane...that made me smile.

Quote:

---

"Touch me Will," Tara lifted Willow's hand and placed it on her breast.

---

*gulps* that made my stomach all fluttery...hehehe







Now, my curiosity is going outta control....Giles knowing Tara, it being a secret as to why they know each other, Buffy 'having her orders', what Quince wanted to talk to Buffy alone for, and theres that tiny thing where Tara knows something and is involved waaaay more then Willow's probably thinking...just that 'tiny' thing. Whew...ive never being good with curiosity. lol

Quote:

---

Poor Buffy does have a bad rep in both this fic and WYTN? I might fix her storylines.

---

Awww....Im kinda liking bitchy Buffy...you write her well (and that's not meant as an insult!lol)





Can not wait to see the next update.....



*hugz*

~Gabs

"I'm known as the fat lesbian chick on Buffy. Of course, I mean you stand me next to an actress like Sarah and I look like I'll eat her. *beat* Wait, that didn't sound right. But, you know what I mean."-Amber

[KiwiAlcyone]

gabbles: Thanks so much, I think it's just the amazing characters that I get to play with!



I do tend to make use of dreams in my fics, not a lot in Captain Red but they will be becoming more frequent as dreams will play a huge part in the rest of this fic *hint hint*



And bitchy Buffy is fun to write, puts her in her place I think. She isnt the main character in this fic and her character by no means has to be likeable.





I've pretty much done the next chapter although much, much re-reading is needed until it's up to scratch. I fear it will generate a lot of questions but that's great because that's how Pens works to make a fic better.



Alcy

Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?

Hobbes: I’m not sure that man needs the help.

[KiwiAlcyone]

Chapter Fourteen – “Darkness Revealed.”





Tara had spent most of the day skulking about the lower levels of Angel Island in her best effort to avoid Willow. This was despite secretly holding on to the hope that Willow would tear the entire base apart looking for her.



I don’t want Willow to find me! she thought, angry at herself for being recklessly selfish, If Willow knows what’s best for her she’ll stay as far away from me as possible.



While she had been doing her best to hide from Willow, the round-faced young man with the clipboard had very little trouble tracking her down. He wordlessly handed her a thin slip of paper almost identical to the one Willow had shown her the previous day. She unfolded it to read that her presence was immediately requested in General Quincy’s office.



She knew better than most not to keep the brass waiting and wasted no time in making her way there. Before she knocked she wished she had the guts just to ignore them all and walk away. It was a stupid notion, where could she go that they couldn’t find her?



Tara entered the office to find Quincy seated at his desk, Commander Boone standing leaning against the wall and a few other high ranking officers she had not had the displeasure of meeting. Also, unsurprisingly, Giles was also standing in front of the General’s desk as though he too had been summoned. Tara jumped to the obvious conclusion. Without waiting for permission to speak she marched over to the bespectacled Englishman and stabbed her finger at his chest.



“You told them didn’t you?” she accused, referring to her admission that Willow had been sharing her dreams.



“I did nothing of the sort,” he said in an offended tone.



Tara bit her lip, immediately regretting jumping to such a stupid conclusion. Giles would never betray a secret she had told him in confidence. Now she had just blabbed the fact that she had a secret to tell. She was beginning to think that her entire world was crashing down around her all because she could not be with a certain, hot-headed red-head. Tara sighed, everything was going to hell and all she could care about was Willow.



With sheer willpower, Tara forced herself to take her place quietly in front of the desk as she should have done before her outburst. She looked apologetically at Giles, the scientist managed to give her a reassuring smile before she faced the front of the room. All eyes in the room were focused on her, save Giles who was staring pointedly at his feet.



“Giles did not tell us anything,” Quincy began, he tapped his pen against his palm annoyingly and glared at Giles, “Even though it is his duty to report everything he hears to us,” he then turned his distinctly unpleasant gaze back to Tara who held it steadily, “Flight Officer Maclay, you and Captain Rosenberg have not exactly been discrete in your relationship with one another. Did you really think that we would not be interested in how your mind affects her? You know full well that if it is dangerous to either one of you…it is our duty to put a stop to it.”



“It’s none of your fucking business! You…” Tara burst out furiously before clamping her jaw shut, regretting she did not have the guts to say everything that was on her mind, …you arrogant, coldhearted prick!



“Maclay,” Boone growled warningly.



Quincy just smiled slightly as though somehow her display of temper amused him. Tara bristled, fighting the urge to throw him a scathing look. Instead she fixed her stare on her boots as though they were the most fascinating pair of boots in the world.



“Giles, we’ve all read Flight Officer Maclay’s history in her file. This renewed influence over others around her…does it mean her sphere is increasing? Just how dangerous is she?” Quincy continued as though Tara were not even there.



Giles at to grit his teeth at their callous disregard for the girl’s feelings, “Tara is extremely sensitive to the Martian presence, it could be that the increased Martian presence around us is in some way affecting her psychic ability…”



“We don’t want speculation!” Boone snapped, “All I know is that a boy in Russia was ‘sensitive’ enough to wipe out his entire village and that Maclay already has a history of affecting people in the same way. Unless you can guarantee me that the same thing will not happen on my carrier, to my crew…” Boone’s mouth tightened, “No, on second thoughts I don’t want to take the risk at all, I don’t want that…her, back on my ship!”



Tara’s fists clenched, she could leap at Boone…be on him in seconds, smashing that heartless mouth over and over again. She drew in a quiet breath, calming herself. Tara concentrated on Willow, the way the small body felt in her arms, her nonsensical babble when she was nervous or excited…the cries she made during their lovemaking.



“I assure you, there is absolutely no danger to the crew!” Giles was annoyed at Boone’s callousness, Tara was standing right there! “Tara’s sphere only extends to those she shares an intimacy with, we think just those she shares blood ties with…although…”



“You are beginning to think that it may extend to sexual intimacy as well?” Quincy asked.



“Yes, Tara has never been involved in…sexual relations with anyone up until this point...”



“Enter Captain Rosenberg…damn that pilot, is there anything she’s involved with that she doesn’t completely disrupt? And you’re sure they’re actually having sex?”



Giles clenched his fists, “I think that is hardly a question for me to answer…and one that Tara should not have to…”



“Maclay, are you and Rosenberg having…”



“Yes!” Tara growled, “I heard the goddamn question the first time!”



Quincy seemed quite unconcerned, he turned to Giles, “Consequences if Tara’s sphere does extend to sexual intimacy?”



“Captain Rosenberg may very well die,”



“Unacceptable risk!” Quincy said emphatically, “We cannot afford to lose one of our best pilots. Maclay, you will not sleep anywhere near the vicinity of Captain Rosenberg, you will not have sexual relations with her…in fact, Giles, wouldn’t it be best to keep the two of them apart altogether?”



“Nothing can happen to the waking mind!” Giles snapped, “It would be just cruel to separate them altogether!”



“Still, I don’t see how you can let people like her walk around free?” Boone spoke up, still unwilling to let Tara back onto his ship.



“For godssake, she’s a just a girl, you can’t keep her locked away!” Giles too was having to fight the urge to throw himself at Boone. He wanted to look across to Tara, reassure the girl with a glance.



“But she’s dangerous!”



“Only to the people I love Commander Boone…and you can be rest assured you will never be included in that group!” Tara finally spoke up, her voice filled with loathing.



“Flight Officer Maclay you forget your place!” Boone snapped stabbing his finger angrily at Tara who had gone stark white with fury.



“Oh I could never forget my place with you all talking about me as though I am not here! Have you any idea what it is like to listen to people talk about you as though you are a piece of lifeless military hardware instead of a human being!”



“Maclay that is quite enough!” Quincy spoke up from where he sat at his desk.



“Well I am not finished yet you pompous ass! None of you has any idea as to what you have just done do you? You’re ordering me to put an end to the best thing that has ever happened to me!”



Quincy stood suddenly, leaping to his full height which was a good head and shoulders above Tara. She should have trembled but she did not even blink.



“Will it still be the best thing that has ever happened to you when you kill Captain Rosenberg?” he asked in a quiet, calm voice when Tara had expecting him to yell.



Tara gulped, her anger quickly replaced by fear, she knew she had gone too far, “I-I’m not disputing the fact that I have to end it…w-what I am disputing is the fact that I cannot tell her why I am ending it.”



“Of course you cannot…that is classified!” he insisted, then added, “Anymore uncontrolled outbursts from you and I will see to it that you spend the rest of the war in the brig…no matter how badly we need pilots,” his voice softened, “I’ve known you for many years and this is behaviour I expect I would have to deal from people like Captain Rosenberg…not you Tara. You know full well what’s expected of you.”



Tara wanted to defend Willow with all her heart but the words would not come, not the way she wanted them to, “Captain Rosenberg is…”brave…heroic, passionate…and I love her more than anything in this world, including my duty as an officer… Tara sighed and pleaded instead, “You have to let me tell her! I can’t just break things off with her and not let her know what the hell is going on!”



“That’s completely out of the question!” Quincy snapped, his patience wearing very thin indeed.



“With all due respect, I think we can make an exception,” Giles added quietly, Tara had almost forgotten there were actually other people in the room during her confrontation with the General, “Tara loves Willow,” Giles said quietly, Tara felt her cheeks blaze with embarrassment but silently thanked the scientist for saying what she could not.



“We’re in the middle of a war, everyone has to make sacrifices,” Quincy stabbed the desk with his fingertip, “Everyone has...and there’s going to be many more made before this is all over.”



“Love be damned!” Boone growled in the background.



Tara gritted her teeth.



“Maclay, your relationship with Rosenberg is over…that’s an order,” Quincy said with an air of finality, he had spent too long arguing over this matter already, “I don’t want to hear anything more about it. I’ve already instructed Captain Summers to keep an even closer watch on you.”



Tara ducked her head, cheeks colouring and she sighed in defeat, “What I am going to tell Captain Rosenberg?” she asked in a small voice, almost a whisper as the implications of what she had to do were sinking in fully.



“Whatever you want,” Quincy said, “As long as it’s not the truth.”



*****



“The decks of carriers on which you will be landing the Guardians are all in the process of being modified to be able to withstand the additional landing forces of a jet propelled aircraft…”



Willow had not heard a words that Giles had said all morning. The pages of her notebook in front of her were completely empty. Ink from the pen clenched in her fist had been steadily staining the palm of her hand for the past hour. A huge yawn erupted and she quickly clamped a hand over her mouth. Last night without Tara she had slept hardly a wink and she was now too exhausted and grumpy to think about studying anything. She just stared at the blackboard, not seeing the words or the diagrams chalked there but instead seeing a beautiful, haunting blonde face.



Have you any idea what I will do to you if I don’t stay the hell away from you? No? Then I’ll tell you…you’ll die Willow, very painfully and messily and there won’t be anything you can do to stop it! Tara’s painful words were stuck on repeat in her head, Willow frowned and rubbed her temples, How on earth can I die from being around Tara?



Willow scribbled a word down on her pad in thick letters…DREAMS. It had something to do with the dreams they had been sharing and yet there was something not quite right. In all the dreams she had up to this point, Tara was always there, granted she died…but she was there. Willow remembered being cut, bleeding from her own wounds during those dreams and yet never once had she woken with any evidence still on her body. Willow pressed the dressing on her palm to check the gash was still there, a sharp twinge of pain assured her of that. Something had been different about the other night…the LGF being there for one thing. She scrawled LGF on the pad as well and, reluctantly, TARA. They were all interconnected and yet Willow found herself refusing to make any connections, the implications of what she might discover were already giving her a gut ache.



“Right, I’ll see you all in the hanger in twenty minutes time,” Giles finally dismissed them, his words were followed by a slight grumble when everyone realised they had just twenty minutes to bolt down something to eat.



By the time she had gathered together her things, Willow was among the last to leave. As she walked past Giles he reached out and grabbed her by the shoulder, holding her back.



“Giles…” Willow said in a hollow voice, “I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention…”



She was cut short as he grabbed by her by both shoulders and propelled her into a supply closet.



“Giles, unhand me I say!” Willow protested, the door was slammed in her face, “Giles…mmph!” a hand clamped over her mouth.



Willow struggled violently for a few seconds before a familiar smell met her nostrils, calming her instantly. She stopped struggling, the hold on her relaxed and she spun around to find a familiar face in the semi-darkness. Willow was struck speechless at the sight of pale skin, the beautiful blue eyes she knew were there were shrouded in darkness. She felt tears well at the corner of her burning eyes and she had to choke back a sob. On the one hand, she was overjoyed to see her and yet she could not forget the way Tara had left her standing in the corridor the previous morning.



“Damn you Tara Maclay!” Willow hissed in an angry whisper, the tears falling now as she beat her small fists against Tara’s chest, “Damn you, damn you, damn you!”



Tara just let the red head’s anger run its course. Tears stung at her own eyes, not from the pain of Willow’s blows but from seeing the captain at her most vulnerable. Eventually she wrapped her arms around Willow, she continued to pound her fists even as she was pulled close. Tara held tight, gentle but firm hands stroking her shaking back. Willow’s struggles eventually subsided, but not the sobs as she continued to cry on Tara’s shoulder.



“I’m so sorry Willow,” Tara whispered.



“Why?” was all Willow could force out in reply.



Tara drew in a breath, “Willow, I can’t tell you now…”



Willow looked up, Tara recognised a stubborn glint in her eyes, “Yes you bloody well will! You can’t do this to me…I love you and you…you just walked away from me! Leaving me standing in the bloody corridor without a stitch of clothing on, you’re just lucky it was Tad who came along and found me!”



“I can’t tell you now,” Tara said patiently, “There’s no time.”



Willow tried to calm down, “Please Tara…”



“There’s a DC3 in the hanger…” Tara began.



“I saw it,” Willow spoke up quickly.



“Meet me there at two am…and for the love of god don’t let anyone see you.”



“I won’t!” Willow whispered fervently.



“No one at all,” Tara pleaded, “They’ll be watching you closely.”



Willow frowned but said, “I promise, I’ll be like a little mouse.”



“I love you Will,” Tara whispered grabbing Willow by the scruff of her neck.



Tara then pulled Willow into a fierce and passionate kiss, their mouths crushing together hungrily before Tara wrenched away and opened the door. When Willow emerged from the closet she was already gone. Giles looked up from his post at the door where he had been keeping watch. Willow sighed wistfully.



“If you hurry there will still be time for you to grab some lunch,” he said in a kind voice.



Willow just shook her head, “How can I eat when there’s a woman like that who loves me?”



*****



Emerging from the stair well, Willow peered into the darkness of the hanger to see that all the guards were stationed near the planes that really mattered, the Guardians. The huge DC3 sitting at the far end was left sitting alone. It was difficult for Willow to move through the shadows when there were several very well trained guards scanning the hanger. With her heart in her throat, terrified that they would spot her and she’d never make it to Tara, Willow cautiously made her way across the hanger.



Finally, with a last glance over her shoulder, she ducked into the open door of the plane. It was dark inside, only small slits of dim light shining through the tiny windows. A shadow moved up by the cockpit and Willow’s heart caught in her throat.

She ducked her head as she made her way up the interior her foot caught on a carelessly stowed parachute. Willow went flying face first into the floor of the plane. She looked up in fright, half-expecting armed guards to come tearing into the plane, guns pointed at the pair of them. Willow and Tara both froze for several minutes until it was apparent that Willow’s fall had gone unnoticed. On all fours, Willow scrambled the last few metres until she found Tara perched in the navigators seat.



Tara watched as Willow made her way up the interior of the plane towards her…she was absolutely terrified as to what she was going to say in explanation. All day she had been trying to formulate a plan and all day she had been thinking that Willow would come to the conclusion she was a freak…just like everyone else.



Willow practically crawled into her lap as she sat on the seat, hugging her knees and resting her chin on Tara’s thigh as she looked up at her. Tara smiled down at Willow, reaching up a shaking hand to run through her hair. The soft, silky strands flowed through her fingers.



They sat there like that for several minutes, Tara stroking Willow’s hair as Willow nuzzled her thigh like an affection starved cat. Finally, Willow looked up at her, green eyes shining with tears.



“Can you tell me what the hell is going on?” she asked quietly.



“No,” Tara said softly, “But I will anyway. Willow…no matter how crazy any of this sounds I promise you I am not lying to you…”



“I know,” Willow said with a small nod.



“There’s something…different about me…I’m what they call a psychic.”



“Psychic? You mean you can read peoples minds…things like that?”



Tara shook her head quickly, “No, none of that fairground chicanery…it’s more that… I’m more…aware of what’s going on in the world around me.”



“Are you saying that psychic powers actually exist?” Willow couldn’t resist asking questions, she wanted to understand everything, “Have always existed? Aware like how?”



“They may very well always have but only over the past decade have we learnt that psychics are attuned to a plane that exists beyond this one, very much like a dream world although much more real. Very few humans are aware of it, let alone can access it to any degree…I can.”



“Why only in the past decade?”



“Because that is the time frame in which the ability has manifested itself among humankind. In 1922 an alien ship was discovered in Egypt. It was shortly after the alien ship was discovered that people began to sense it…only a very few worldwide…it was very quickly established that there was a connection between the ship and the surfacing of latent abilities in some individuals.”



“What is this dream…plane…reality thing?” Willow felt like a moron.



“It’s actually much like the real world, sort of like a reflection I guess. Whatever happens here, happens there as well although not necessary in the same time frame or in the same manner. When we access that plane we have the same control over it as we would ordinary reality therefore we can shape it but only within our own physical limitations. The Martians however, also walk this plane although in far greater numbers…”



Willow sat up with a look of horror on her face, “You mean what happened to me there…that thing that attacked me…they are there all the time…Tara what if you’re killed…I mean, look what it did to my hand!”



“Our studies show that for some reason psychics themselves are in no danger when they walk the plane…However, some psychics exert such power that they draw those around them into the plane along with themselves. It is people like you, drawn into the psychics sphere of influence that are in real danger…you don’t have the tools or the protections to survive because you are out of sync with the dream reality and whatever happens to you there…manifests itself in the real world…like your hand Therefore…someone could be killed in the dream plane…and die in reality too. How powerful a psychic is…determines their sphere of influence…the extent to which they will draw those around them into this other plane.”



“You’re one of those people that can draw others in…you drew me in?”



“Yes,” Tara admitted quietly, “Most psychics are not powerful enough to have this effect…they just walk the dreams themselves…it is quite frightening and most of them develop insomnia problems but its also harmless…they have proved very useful in developing our knowledge of the Martian invaders.”



“You sound as though you have had to give this same speech many times…how did they find you?” Willow asked quietly.



“I was the first they found actually…because my mother was one. She was the archaeologist who was among the first to lay eyes on the alien space craft which had been lying buried in the sand for centuries. When she touched it she experienced some sort of connection, …even though I was thousands of miles away, I felt it…I felt whatever it was that killed her…” Tara’s voice had faded to a whisper.



Willow tightened her hold on Tara’s legs, clinging to the blonde.



“I was only nine…after my mother’s death I began having terrifyingly real nightmares. I would refuse to sleep and often went for days without any at all. My father took me to see so many doctors and yet they could find nothing wrong with me to explain my insomnia. The military must have been watching my family because shortly after that they came and took me away, telling my father they would be able to help me and I could held them find out what had happened to my mother. They ran a lot of tests, asked me so many questions…I was terrified. Eventually, after I suddenly stopped having the dreams, they sent me home again, especially when they began to find others who experienced the same dreams, the same connection to what had by then been labelled as a hostile threat to the entire planet. I kept having the dreams but gradually my father and brother started experiencing them too. I would see them in my dreams. And one night, in the dream…they were killed. I woke up absolutely terrified and ran to my Daddy’s room…there was so much blood everywhere and he wouldn’t wake up…I found Donny the same way…they had both been killed in my dream.”



“Oh my god…Tara…” Willow felt her own tears flowing and yet when she reached up to touch Tara’s face her cheeks were dry.



“I’ve had a lot of time to grieve Will” she said quietly.



Willow had to choke back a sob as she clutched at the fabric of Tara’s pants, clenching it in her white-knuckled fists. She looked back up at Tara to see the blonde looking up at nothing in particular, her features expressionless. Her eyes were hollow in the darkness, the only indication that she was in fact somewhere else…Her own helplessness angered and upset Willow and she hated to admit that she wanted Tara to cry so that she could at least comfort her.



She doesn’t need to be crying before you can comfort her Willow you ninny! Willow choked again and sniffed, wiping her nose unglamorously on her sleeve, I’m the one balling my eyes out here! If she doesn’t want comfort…I bloody well do! Willow hiccoughed and sniffed again.



Willow crawled up into Tara’s lap, found a perch and threw her arms around her neck. She clung to the blonde as though she were a life ring in the ocean.



“Will…” Tara whispered, not making any move to embrace her, Oh god…I can’t be doing this…this was supposed to be it…the end of us together!



Willow erupted into a fit of sobbing, hiccoughing and sniffing. Tara relented and put her arms around the back of the girl sitting on her lap, stroking her tenderly.



Several minutes later Willow was resting her head on Tara’s shoulder, her cheek tucked into the crook of Tara’s neck. Dried tears crusted on her face but the worst had since subsided. Their fingers were entwined on Willow’s lap, Tara’s thumb stroking the back of Willow’s hand.



“What happened?” Willow asked in a hoarse whisper, “After…after they died, what happened to you?”



Tara sighed and held Willow a little tighter, “I became a ward of the state…which is really just a nice way of saying the military owned me. So from the age of eleven I was raised by them, fed and educated of course…but there were the tests, medical and psychological…for years and years. Mostly they found nothing to test, I no longer walked in the other reality in my dreams…even though my dreams were very vivid, often frightening. Willow, you have to understand what this way of life did to me…my memories of who I was before my mother died are kept alive in my dreams, I remember being happy, vibrant…extroverted, popular at school even…seems a little odd to think of myself that way now,” Tara laughed sadly.



“I don’t think it’s strange at all,” Willow whispered, squeezing Tara’s hand.



Tara kissed Willow’s forehead gently, “I withdrew into myself completely, I wasn’t allowed friends…knew no one except the people who studied me. Giles among them…he was the only one who was kind, who seemed to care about me as an individual rather than just something to be studied. Even so…I barely spoke, just did everything they asked of my without a fuss…ate what they gave me, slept when they told me to, did my lessons, I wasn’t really alive and yet I didn’t care anymore,” it was painful to even remember what life had been like but the Tara’s voice brightened a little, “Something changed when I was seventeen…I had a dream about a girl…a gorgeous red head who’s name I didn’t know, who I suspected was probably not even real and yet something about her made me feel absolutely wonderful…alive again…silly really but it changed everything for me. Even after everything they had done to me, I declared my intentions to join the military. I knew that war would eventually come and after much debating from the powers that be…and a lot of intervention on Giles’ part I suspected, they allowed me to join Air Command. Donny had always wanted to be pilot…he had so many model planes hanging on his ceiling,” Tara smiled slightly…



Tara was lying on her back on her brother’s bed, watching the model planes dangle from the ceiling, sending shadows dancing around the room. He lay next to her, pointing out each plane, in a serious voice he would tell her its name and make her repeat it.



“Okay, now that one’s a French Nieuport…it’s a replica of the one flown by a famous French pilot from the Great War…”



“The war Daddy went away to?” Tara asked quietly.



“Yeah…anyway, the French pilot went missing one day, he never came home.”



“Someone shot him down?”



“They never found his plane,” Donny said knowledgeably, “They say that he flew so high he couldn’t come down again.”



“He’s still up there? Flying around?”



“Maybe,” Donny said, then he grinned as he announced, “I’m going to be a pilot when I grow up…I hope there’s a war so I can be a hero!”



“Turns out I wasn’t a bad pilot…”



“You have got to be kidding!” Willow burst out, “How can you be so modest? You handle a plane better than anyone I have ever seen!”



Tara managed a smile, “Not as good as you…but I did throw all my effort into it…and it took me a long time just to learn the basics, not flying but being a normal young woman – how to talk to people in normal conversation again…I finally began to sleep regularly at night. Even though I dreamt, I knew I would be alright in the morning…and I got to see you. I managed to get used to being with people my own age again, people who were friends…thanks largely to Buffy, and even Faith.”



“Buffy knows all about you doesn’t she?” Willow admitted reluctantly.



“Buffy was ordered to keep a close eye on me…I’m not sure exactly what her orders entail but I’m pretty sure that they wouldn’t include letting me get involved with red headed flying aces. I’m really sorry Willow, I know it makes matters between the two of you even worse but of course she was given me as an assignment a long time before I actually met you.”



“It doesn’t matter baby,” Willow said quietly, “Things between us were already irreparable and it had nothing to do with you,” she drew in a breath, trying to take in all of what Tara had said. She exhaled slowly, “Y-you were dreaming about me over six years ago? But those ones…the dreams we were having…that you were having before I met you…they weren’t the same as the one I had the other night were they? I was drawn into…your sphere thing and I could’ve been killed? Like your Dad…and Donny?”



“The earlier ones, that wasn’t the plane, they were just my dreams,” Tara finally realised that she had to get down to the point of the whole conversation, exactly why she had disobeyed orders to talk to Willow, “…and yes Willow…you could have been killed and I would have woken up to find you dead in the bed next to me. Now please tell me you understand, after hearing about what I did to my family, why we can’t be together anymore?”



“You did not kill your father and brother Tara!” Willow whispered vehemently, “They did and don’t you ever forget it!



“Willow, they use people like me to kill people in their sleep!” Tara pleaded, “I was responsible…just by being what I am…”



“It’s a second front,” Willow interrupted in a whisper.



Tara frowned, “Huh?”



“Like in the Great War, the reason the Allies invaded Gallipoli…they wanted to open up a second front so that there would be a war on two fronts, thus weakening the enemy’s strength along the Western Front,” Willow sat up slightly, “I think that there are two wars going on here…I mean…how can you have two fronts when you’ve invaded an entire world? There’s physical world, the one in the real world and…” Willow pressed their foreheads together, “The one in here…in our minds.”



“A they’re killing us on both of them…that’s precisely why I can’t be allowed to be the cause of your death…precisely why freaks like me need to be restrained…”



“Tara, you are not a freak!” Willow brought both hands up to cup Tara’s cheek, firmly wiping the tears away that had began to fall.



“I can kill those I love…you…” Tara sobbed quietly, her shoulders shook as the tears fell faster than Willow could wipe them away.



Willow stopped trying to deal with the moisture on Tara’s cheeks and instead settled for kissing her eyelids tenderly as though her kisses were a balm for such pain.



“No…the LGFs can kill me and LGFs I have absolutely no qualms about pounding into a bloody pulp in my sleep,” Willow whispered.



“Um, Will,” Tara tenderly stroked the bandage around Willow’s palm, “I think you were the one who was pounded last time…I’d never sleep knowing that you might not wake…and I have my orders to put an end to us…together.”



Willow blinked, this was the first time Tara had mentioned that she had such orders. The red head was furious that their private lives could be controlled by men with too many pips on their shoulders. She had never been a stickler for orders and if anything was worth disobeying them for, it was Tara.



“I know exactly what I’d say in response to Quincy, I’d tell him to take his damn pen and shove it so far up his…”



“Will…” Tara said softly.



Willow calmed, knowing she was dangerously close to yelling and bringing every single guard in the hanger over to the DC3, “Orders be damned, I want to be with you!”



“But I don’t want to fall asleep every night and wonder if you are going to be dead when I wake up,” Tara pleaded, a part of her wished Willow did think she was a freak and try and get as far away from her as possible. At least then she would be safe.



“There is no way in hell that you are getting of the hook that easily Tara Maclay! Every time I fly I run the risk of not coming back…it’s the same thing. We’re at war…people die every day often in the most pointless way, it’s all terrifying and I would be lying to say that I’m not scared of dying…but do you know what scares me even more? It’s a life without you…when you left me standing in the corridor I was more scared than I had ever been in my entire life, scared that you would never come back to me, that I would never feel you in my arms again,” to reassure herself, Willow ran her arms over Tara’s back in a firm caress, “Hearing your story, what you’ve lived through…it’s all just convinced me that I am making the right decision. I was yours a long time before I met you and if that doesn’t tell you that we’re supposed to be together then I don’t know what would.”



“I don’t want you to die,” Tara whispered hoarsely, pressing her hands to the back of Willow’s neck, feeling the strands of her hair cascading over her fingers. She’s mine…



Willow kissed Tara on the tip of her nose, catching a single tear hanging there, “I would rather die a thousand times in your arms than live a whole life without you.” I’m hers…



Tara choked, her grip on the back of Willow’s neck tightening, “Oh god Will! How can you be so goddamn brave just to be with me!” Tara pressed her cheek against Willow’s once more, nuzzling her cheek and stroking her hair.



Tara knew in her mind that she should ignore Willow’s heroic words as the words of a love sick idiot who did not know any better. She should push her away, tell her just how stupid she was…and yet her heart was telling her to hold onto the woman in her arms, hold on to her as tightly as she possibly could and never let go.



Willow’s heart was bursting as she smiled at her lover through her tears, “I can take on the world because of you Tara Maclay.”



Willow pressed her lips against Tara’s, stroking them softly. Tara was the first to seek out more, seizing Willow’s lips between her own, sucking on them fiercely. When Willow probed delicately with her tongue Tara drew in deeply into her mouth, clamping down on it and wrestling it into submission with her own. They pulled back just a fraction, their lips still touching, breath mingling.



“There are steps we can take to keep you safe, you should…” Tara began but Willow cut her off with a firm kiss.



“Tara,” Willow breathed as she pulled back, “We’ll be as safe as we possibly can…later. Right now I just need to hold you…please?”



Tara just nodded, her arms moving down around to Willow’s back. The two pilots drew each other as close as they possibly could, their heads resting on the other’s shoulders, sharing the same heartbeat.



As Tara held Willow on her lap, a million thoughts were all running though her mind and foremost amongst those was the thought that meant she would never let Willow put herself in that kind of danger. It was pointless for her lover to risk her life just by falling asleep in her arms…They would be together though…she just knew that one of the best ways to keep Willow safe meant that she would never be able to fall asleep in her arms again. Am I so terrible in letting Willow do this…even though it’s what she wants? I’m not just terrible…I’m selfish and reckless…



“Quiet baby,” Willow whispered many minutes later.



“I was just thinking.”



“About what?”



“Tad really found you naked in the middle of the corridor?”



“Yeah.”



“Lucky Tad.”





TBC in Chapter Fifteen – “Soulmates.”

Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?

Hobbes: I’m not sure that man needs the help.

Edited by: KiwiAlcyone  at: 5/17/04 8:32 pm

[blue and green wings]

what an update. i'm a wee of an angst addict. and this was juss enough, especially w/ willow and tara going w/ the smoochies. and willow's line, “I can take on the world because of you Tara Maclay.” was probably what made my heart twinge. such a sweet line. and the next chapter called soulmates? ooo...me likey...

[tinnakaren]

Oh wow ... that was some brilliant writing.



I mean, seriously, Alcy...your talent amazes me every time.



This story is a rollercoaster of emotions and it's playing in my head, so vividly and in full color. I feel like I'm both watching a movie and partaking in it...and it's all because of your wonderful writing. Thank you - really.

--------------------------

Tinna Karen

-tölvunörd í fyrsta ættlið

[pipsberg]

Damn! Great update Alcy. I really love the unfolding story. You have great vision and I am really loving the plot. It's interesting to me to see Willow get progressively more open and vunerable with Tara...and even though Tara is in such a hard position now, it seems that Willow is making her stonger. I love this, please keep it coming!!

-pipsberg



"We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep - it's as simple and ordinary as that."

Michael Cunningham, The Hours

[gabbles]

Holy cow. (I couldn't find a cow )



I just love this...the way it's all unfolding, only finding out little bits and peices at one time. As maddening as it is ( ), it's damn addictive.



Tara's life. Wow. I was all choked up reading it. Poor Tara, that was....*im all speechless as to what to say*. She has Willow now, thank god, is all I can think to say.



Compare the Willow at the begining of the fic, to this one.

As pipsberg said: "It's interesting to me to see Willow get progressively more open and vunerable with Tara"

Totally.



Once again, amazingly written, and 100% left wanting nother update



*hugz*

~Gabs

PS...I love the differnt ways you finish your chapters:



"I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Tad really found you naked in the middle of the corridor?”

“Yeah.”

“Lucky Tad.”



so cute.

"I'm known as the fat lesbian chick on Buffy. Of course, I mean you stand me next to an actress like Sarah and I look like I'll eat her. *beat* Wait, that didn't sound right. But, you know what I mean."-Amber

[veiled isis moon]

Oh my...........where to start. That didn't hurt my head as much as pull at my heart strings and then rip them off.(ouch!)



What you wrote was amazing. There seems to be no limit to your talent(can i have your autograph please!). Thanks for writing this story and sharing that excellent chapter with us.x



Poor Tara bless her, she'd had a really crappy life. Not only did she feel all the emotions her mother was going through at the time of her death, but she also has to deal with the responsibility and self-blame for the deaths of her brother and father, and as if that wasn't enough, she was taken as a child into the military basically like a hostage, being treated like she was nothing and didn't belong having tests completed with only good old Giles treating her as if she were a real person. It's a miracle she turned out the way she did!



So i guess we finally know what's the what with Tara and Buffy and Giles and the arrogant military men. Don't suppose your going to sort out Buffy any time soon seeing as your having such a great time driving my crazy; Should i like her, should i hate her???? As it turns out Buffy was ordered to be a bitch, although she wasn't ordered to kick Willow's ass or make her life a misery so she'd gotta take some bitchy credit for that all on her own!



Quincy and Boone are your typical arrogant-patronizing-scared-control freaked-men i see. There so scared of what Tara can do with her abilities, although they'd still happily manipulate her gift/curse when they need to. They have no problems with letting her risk her life to protect them and everyone else, but they still don't acknowledge her or give her any respect. That scene in the office with Giles struck a nerve.



I love the bit of history as to why Tara started flying planes in the first place. The fact that her brother was really into them and wanted to be a pilot when he was older was really sweet and heart warming. I could totally imagine Tara doing something like that.



I'm drawn to angsty stuff for some insane reason, i can't get enough of it, and this chapter definetly had angst. The frustration, tension and longing between the two girls really came across in the chapter. The feeling that they both wanted and needed to be close to each other and talk and hold one another really played out, and i loved it! Thanks.



There's a couple of lines in this chapter that i really, really liked and pulled those heart strings of mine right off!



"I would rather die a thousand times in your arms than live a whole life without you"



I mean, wow! I loved that line because it was just so intense and it reminded me of one of my favourite bits out of one of my favourite films, City of Angels. At the end when Maggie dies and Seth's best friend asks him;

"If you'd known this was going to happen, would you have done it?" and he says, "I would rather of had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than an eternity without it. One."

That's how Willow came across to me, that she'd rather risk her life to be with Tara rather than never be with her in the first place.



I also really liked;



"I was yours a long time before i met you"



That just sums up the girls relationship and how they're totally meant for one another.



It's cool how you left the chapter on a happy and fun note with Willow and Tara banter. It lets us know that things are still okay between the pair.



Anyhow, now that my babbling is over with, and if you hadn't already realised, i really loved this update! Thanks.



Michellex

[Tempest Duer]

Umm... ouch? It's so painful, but it's so beautiful in its pain. This was so fantastic... I don't know where to start, let alone where to end.



At least Tara managed to tell Willow the truth. They'll find a way... because Willow and Tara always find each other.

Saying that up is down will not make up, down.



~Gene Burns

[sam7777]

Alcy indeed rules!!



I'm glad that Tara disobeyed orders to tell Willow the truth though her heart wouldn't let her do any less. Tara's childhood here is as miserable as the one in the show but it has also made her stronger though she doesn't realize it. However, Willow and Tara now have a huge barrier between them in the chain of command. Like Willow I also don't think that Tara's dream has to kill. Her brother and father were killed by the aliens not Tara who can't really control who she draws in. I suspect that Tara's powers and those of other psychics are the real weapon to defeating the aliens cool jet battles notwithstanding. I also think that Willow is the missing puzzle to Tara's being able to use her powers to defeat the aliens. I supect Willow and Tara's link will enable them to work together in the other dimension.



Can't wait to see what happens next!!

[Grimlock72]

Tara told Willow mostly because she wants her to know, still partly she must have realized it's also the only way to keep Willow away and safe. No way Willow would stay away without a proper reason/explanation. Ironically keeping Willow safe is the common goal of Quincy and Tara, their methods differ though



So Tara is a risk in that she might influence people in her sphere of influence... Given that their doesn't seem to be a way to measure that sphere it would make sense to have Tara moved to a location where even with a large(r) sphere she can't do much damage. Why keep Tara on the largest base remaining ??



What is Tara's function anyway, pilot or psychic ? She can't do both, because working the dream-sphere would likely tire her to much to be able to fly well. For that matter, why would the army risk Tara in a pilot function ? They have (or had anyways) plenty of pilot and very few psychics.



Martians walk around in the dream-sphere too it seems and are generally better at it. Won't they be able to locate Tara on the real-plain ?



I can't fault Boone for wanting to protect the rest of his crew. Quite a lot of people in a carrier-group you know. Can't expect him to just embrace Tara when he has just heard she might have become (more) dangerous. Quincy is more annoying than Boone in this regard, he still has some points from finally setting Buffy and Willow straight though . I don't particulairy like the idea of the military "using" Tara for whatever they think usefull. That is something I do hold against them, not their 'fear' of Tara's influence... thats just fear of the unknown (which can be healthy, mind you)



The entire conversation in Quincy's office was nasty. Most of it is military officials not knowing enough about Tara's ability/condition (depending on point of view) to determine the danger, as such they assume a lot of danger. That might be sensible to do if one looks at the entire picture but it doesn't make it any better for Tara .



Willow's "Gallipoli" example as a second front is very interesting. If the martians play the english/allied-forces (which they should 'cos they are attacking) then they'll loose against a small but determined group of islanders....heh. And the Turks didn't have jet-propelled fighters either



By the way, Willow saying "I would rather die a thousand times in your arms than live a whole life without you" sounds nice and all but misses the point. The point was/is that Tara does not want Willow to die, period. She certainly doesn't want to cause her death, which she fears she might. Does that make Willow brave or selfish ???



If Buffy has been told to keep a close eye on Tara she is bound to ask her where she was for the duration of their talk in the DC3. Heck, I was expecting her to pop up in the DC3 itself. If Buffy had indeed been following orders to make sure Tara does not get a girlfriend she could have done that better and more efficiently. Just remind Tara of the risk. Much easier than confronting Willow who didn't know of any risk at the time and is to stubborn to be scared of it anyway . No this was just Buffy pouncing on Willow because she wanted too and I don't see myself forgiving Buffy for that.



I recommend Willow take dream-surfing lessons from Tara and fast. The more she knows about it the better she should be able to protect herself somewhat, including willing herself to wake-up. Who is to say that non-psychics (and that is assuming Willow indeed does not have any psychic power) can't learn to defend themselves ??



Alcy, you referred to this part several times as 'exposational' as if that would be bad. It really wasn't. Yes some things were explained but not overly so, good update.



I'm surprised Giles managed to hold Willow for as long as he did. I expected him to be severely kicked really quick, almost disappointed in Willow's speed/strength here.



I honestly wonder if Tara will ever stop blaming herself for the death of Donny and her father. The images of their death and of her mother's sure will remain with her for a long time. It's very sad when you think about it . Tara does deserve some happiness, trouble is; it is yet unknown how she can safely have some of that happiness



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine

Edited by: Grimlock72 at: 5/19/04 4:27 pm

[russ]

Wow, Alcy. This chapter packed a real emotional punch. It had three major effects for me: 1. explanation of Tara's past. Now we know (and Willow knows) where she's coming from with the secrets and the classified orders. I'm not sure which is worse, the horror of what the LGFs did to Tara's family, or what the military did to her life. Which leads to: 2. It's reinforced my loathing for the military mind and all its works. If I was mad at Willow & Buffy earlier, it pales beside how I feel about Quincy, Boone, and those who went before them. 3. Whatever Willow has done before, she is more than redeemed by her acceptance and total support for Tara. Years of being brainwashed into thinking she is a freak or a monster, and finally a loving voice to tell her it isn't so. Also, Willow's using her head, figuring out how the Martians are using the dream plane as a second front to attack Earth.



The scene in the DC3 is incredibly touching as we see the depth of Willow's love and commitment. It will be very difficult for Tara, but she needs to learn to trust her heart when it tells her "to hold onto the woman in her arms, hold on to her as tightly as she possibly could and never let go."



One flaw in Tara's (& Quincy's) thinking. What makes them think Willow will be safe from the dream plane by being physically apart from Tara? She wasn't sleeping with her father and brother when they were killed, just under the same roof. As long as the two are on the same base, much less the same carrier, their emotional bond will make Willow's sleep risky.



As I see it, a fairly simple plan of action: 1. Wipe out the LGFs. 2. Ditto Quincy, Boone, Buffy and anyone else who gets in the way. 3. Live happily ever after. OK, it may be a little complicated in the implementation, but we'll leave the details up to the author.



Wonderful writing, Alcy. And, lucky Tad, indeed!



Russ

[4WiccanLuv]

Alcy, the last two updates were indeed a rollercoaster of emotions. Wow! Masterfully done! The last bit with W&T in the DC3 was so achingly sweet and romantic, I swooned, I tell ya! *sigh* This story is so fat & juicy and chock full of calories! The good kind, BTW. You are terribly skilled and talented my friend. Thanks for sharing this wonderful tale with us. Patiently waiting for more!



Ps…I am soooooo ready for the kicking of LGF butt!



Linda

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others." - Groucho Marx

[KiwiAlcyone]

blue and green wings: angst addict huh? Well, now that I know that I can promise you that you will enjoy the next chapter – I hope that’s not giving too much away!



tinnakaren: Thanks so much, praise like that never fails to make me grin. I’m so glad that Captain Red is playing out like a movie, that’s exactly the kind of feeling I’m going for here. An over the top, old-fashioned action serial with our two girls as the heroes.



pipsberg: My plots often confuse the hell out of me so I’m always happy to here people can make sense of them. While they are two of my favourite individual characters in any universe, Willow and Tara are so much stronger when they are together and for the writer this is an awesome challenge. To take an already believable relationship and shake things up a little is sometimes daunting but I love doing it! Probably the reason why the only fic I write is Willow/Tara, nothing else inspires me as much.



gabbles: Come to NZ, we’ve got lots of cows! (and sheep as well of course!) Tara’s life is about as messed up a life as I could come up with, it’s a way of showing just how damn strong that woman is in her own right but also how much she needs Willow.

I will be delving a little deeper into her past. I think there are ideas that need to be expanded on to better understand what is going on in the present.

I wasn’t sure if the ending would be incredibly tactless or not. I just had that little interaction floating around in my head and thought, ‘what the hell,’ and after a few kittens mentioned that Willow was lucky it was Tad, I couldn’t not tack it on!



veiled isis moon: um, ouch…do you need a bandaid for that?

I assure you there are definite limits depending on how much sugar I have ingested prior to writing. But seriously, thanks ever so much. People enjoying my fics is the best reward ever.

Although I think ‘crappy life’ is a bit of an understatement, Tara definitely had an awful, almost non-existent childhood. Enter Willow, Tara becomes a woman, and a happy woman at that…and then everything turns into a great pile of crap again…except that this time round, it’s not so bad because she still has Willow. So, as long as she has Willow…

Buffy was never ordered to be a bitch, she was bitchy of her own accord. I’ll leave your little like/hate conflict up to your own decision. I’ll just have fun teasing ya!

I really like cute, little nice Donny…so I have to have more scenes with him!

In many ways, it’s incredibly awesome that Willow and Tara were always meant to be together and Willow is determined to stay together no matter what. I believe that is the essential core of their relationship (at least in this fic) and yet I can’t resist stretching that idea to it’s very limits, almost breaking it…sounds ominous? Whoops…

Thanks once again *bounces happily*



Tempest Duer: I’m all with the ochiness too, well, my head is at least. And definitely there is a way, you’re very right…even if that way is a little hard to travel.



sam7777: I rule, I rule! And damn, good perceptiveness…I’m not going to tell you just which parts are right because that would ruin a whole bunch of surprises but still, I’m glad that you agree with Willow in saying that Tara didn’t kill her brother and father.

And there will be cool jet battles, how can there not be?!



Grimmy: I’m really glad I give you so much to write about

I kinda think that there’s no way Willow would stay away even with a proper explanation and I also think that there was a part of Tara that knew that.

You are very right in that I could ship Tara off to a deserted island in the middle of no where and she wouldn’t be a danger to anyone…problem solved. However, this is a no go for a few reasons, the most obvious being 1. It’s no fun. 2. There would be no W/T lovin’ and 3. From my understanding of the military (ie having watched too many movies with military guys in them) they like to hold onto what they think are valuable tools. From their perspective, Tara is such a tool and I don’t think they’d let her get too far out of their sight.

Maybe the Martians can locate Tara…

You make an excellent point about Willow saying she’d ‘rather die a thousand times etc’ Maybe there was an opening for Tara to say ‘I don’t want you to die period’ but she was instead so happy that Willow would stay with her no matter what. What I did write I think makes Tara selfish rather than Willow…and Willow quite possibly incredibly brave to the point of being foolish.

Stay tuned for Buffy-explanation. I didn’t forget about that

I was worried for the amount of explanation in this chapter, not that it gave away everything but because there’s just so much of it and it was hard to do it in a manner that flowed nicely without seeming forced.

Of course she’s going to be happy! This is a Pens fic, have some faith in me to bring all the kittens home safely!



russ: The military almost seem to be rivalling the LGFs for the part of villain in this fic.

I wrote Willow’s reaction to Tara’s history keeping in mind that she is a woman that can only ever come to one conclusion – she loves Tara. She is in danger and yet she is still determined to hold onto what she loves…only time (ie more chapters!) will show just how this decision will impact on her.

I wrote the ‘sphere of influence’ explanation with the idea that it was an actual distance limitation. Although it would be a little forced in the actual storyline for them to say that Tara can only affect people within a twenty meter radius of herself. But stay tuned for the next chapter and a better explanation.

I like your simple plan…but yes, unfortunately complications keep rearing their ugly heads. Hopefully it is still just as enjoyable…if not simple.

And more of Tad’s reaction to seeing Willow naked is just begging to be told!



4WiccanLuv: Calories are all good! I swear that my head is getting so swollen from the praise of awesome kittens that I should be sitting farther back from my laptop! You’re ready to kick some butt? So I am, I need some more action scenes, more naughty scenes, hell, more of everything! Hopefully fairly soon as well.



Alcy

Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?

Hobbes: I’m not sure that man needs the help.

Edited by: KiwiAlcyone  at: 5/20/04 8:45 pm

[veiled isis moon]

Nah, no bandage needed thanks, there's no hope for me and there's nothing they can do! It's all your fault!



Erm, hello! Didn't like the whole; " So long as she has Willow......." line. It sounded very ominous missy! What has your evil scheming mind got planned, eh?!! Surely our girls will get the happy ending.



Glad you get all bouncy, that's me when you've updated.



Oh yeah, try and take it easy with the sugar!



Michellex

[Grimlock72]

Alcy wrote:

Quote:

---

Stay tuned for Buffy-explanation. I didn’t forget about that

---

No, no... I need a villain which I can hate and well... villainize really Most of the other potentials for that role have some form of excuse. I would like to have some choice words with whomever in the army decided that Tara didn't need a fun live but should serve her country first, yech.



Grimmy

--
"You hurt Tara," Willow said too calmly. "The last one who tried that was a god. I made her regret it." -- Unexpected Consequences by Lisa of Nine