You can find Gift of Sorrow here
As previously posted here are scene one and two... I'm including the disclaimers just to remind everyone angst a plenty... hope you enjoy reading...
COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, Giles, Dawn, Spike and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Buffy The Vampire Slayer, together with the names, titles and back story are the sole copyright property of Joss Wheldon, Fox and Mutant Enemy. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the authors. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Please contact the authors for permission to reproduce this story on any other fanfiction site.
LOVE/ GRAPHIC SEX DISCLAIMER: This story depicts a love relationship between two consenting adult women. If you are under 18 years of age or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If depictions of this nature disturb you, you may wish to read something other than this story. (Please note this may not apply until much further parts but it will be an integral part of the storyline.)
TIMEFRAME: Season Seven done Rainbow Writers Style… we are taking all that has aired up until Grave as gospel and working with what the bad evil Josh has given us… the difference WE LOVE WILLOW AND TARA… so we’re going to fic all the horribleness… the theme is still “Back to the Beginning” as hinted at… but with a total focus on fixing what was done to our gorgeous lovely couple.
PAIRING: Willow and Tara… obviously!
BIG GIANT HUGE ANGST/UNHAPPINESS DISCLAIMER: So if you’ve seen season six… you know… ME sucks… they took us all down a road we never wanted to go… but now we have to get back… so the ride will be bumpy… but we promise this time the light… its daylight and NOT a train!
WORK OF THE RAINBOW WRITERS WARNING! … if you know our stuff you know we can OWN pain and suffering when we want too… stock up: tissues, chocolate, have loved ones near… we’re going to get to a happy place but we’re not going to gloss over the damage ME has done
YELLOW CRAYON XANDER WARNING: In the vein of trying to be nice… we’ve decided its time for Xander to clean up some of his act and take on some responsibility… no he’s not turning into super Xander, but maybe a more respectable guy.
Episode RW 7.3
In The Shadows of Twilight
By: The Rainbow Writers
rainbowwriters&hotmail.com
It was one of those perfect days, when the sunlight filtered down from its lofty heights as the centre of our universe and kisses everything on the earth’s surface with warm refreshing rays.
Willow knew that she could explain what sunshine was, how hot it was, how far it had to travel. She could explain about solar flares, coronas and radioactive sub particles. One thing she knew not even she could explain was how good a nice sunny day could make you feel. Well that and the mystery of how sunlight could add even more gorgeous highlights to Tara’s hair then were there normally and how exactly those highlights could mesmerise her in her place for hours.
Nothing could ever be as perfect Willow realised as she plucked a small pink wildflower from amongst the grass and twirled it between her fingers. Stretching out her legs, the warmth of the sunlight spread over her skin as she sunned herself on the yellow and white chequered blanket.
She could hear Dawn giggling as she ran by somewhere behind, the Slayer’s sure footfalls chasing her as the Summers’ girls enjoyed a game among the tall redwoods. Though her attention was on Tara’s face as the Wicca turned her soft features into the warm breeze, Willow knew that the blonde was watched as Giles lined up for another bat as he attempted to teach Xander the finer points of bowling in Cricket. The soft swish as Anya pushed higher and higher on the rope swing nearby was probably the only sound that consistently broke the serenity of their picnic.
“La, la, la, la my lover’s hand in mine, la, la.” Tara sung sporadic lyrics from a fairly unrecognisable and yet beautifully melodic song as she gave a little twirl in the sunshine. Her head tilted backwards slightly exposing her throat and long neck to the sun’s rays as she twirled, her hair flowing out around her head in a golden arc.
Willow watched on grinning as her lover’s voice swayed through the air caressing her ears.
Gracefully Tara came to a stop and stood beaming at Willow, her long flowing dress taken a second or two to settle neatly down her legs.
“Happy sweetie?” She asked taking a ballet step towards the blanket.
“Ecstatic.” Willow grinned up at the tall blonde. “Do you want some lemonade after all that lovely dancing?”
“Mmmm.” Tara made the small sound of contemplation, letting her tongue moisten sun kissed lips just slightly. “Yes please, its rather thirsty work.” She beamed another brilliant smile at her lover.
“You do it beautifully.” Willow giggled as she tucked the flower up behind her ear and reached into the large wicker basket to pull out a champagne flute and a large cold jug of lemonade. “It’s so beautiful here that it’s hard to ever think of anything bad happening isn’t it?” She began pouring the glass glancing up to smile at her lover.
“Bad?” Tara’s laughter filtered through the warm air like the sunlight itself. “Oh Willow, you’re so silly at times.”
As Willow got caught up in blue sparkling eyes she felt the lemonade spill over the edge and trickle down onto her hand. She cursed wordlessly at her mistake as her fingers slipped and the glass fell spilling over the blanket. Her eyes went instantly down to where the lemonade spill spread in as it soaked into the blanket, the once yellow liquid bleeding into a deep red as it melted into the fabric.
“Tara...” Willow put her hand down into the puddle pulling up her fingers to see thick crimson clinging to her fingertips. “Tara?” She reached up and wiped her hand across her shirt trying to get the sticky substance off her skin.
“Willow what have you done!” The cry came from somewhere behind the blonde as Xander and Giles threw themselves to the ground. The cricket ball they were playing with arching high into the air transforming as it spun into something more like a grenade. It plummeted earthward heading for the patch of grass beside Dawn and Buffy.
The Slayer threw herself forward in an attempt to cover and shield her little sister just as with a loud echoing boom the explosive hit the ground sending grass and mud flying up into the air.
“God No!” The scream came from Anya as the backlash from the explosion caught the ropes of her swing snapping them like string and sending the blonde crashing to the floor.
Willow looked on as in a chain reaction everything around her started to go horribly wrong.
“Will, please stop this!” Xander called to his friend as he pushed himself up onto his knees, blood stained his face from three jagged cuts running across it, the front of his shirt was ripped and stained with sweat and dirt.
“I... I...” Willow pushed up to stand from her spot trying to figure what she could do.
“Why Willow? Why are you hurting us, we’re not the enemy?” Anya sobbed as she crawled her way painfully across the ruined grass over to the fallen Watcher who as yet made no signs of life.
“I’m not doing anything.” Willow felt her eyes go hot with tears. “I just... I just...” She looked down at her blood stained hand.
“No, Dawnie, no.” Buffy’s voice could just be heard from the pit that now sat in the middle of the burnt field, her breaths turning into hard fast sobs. “I can’t loose you Dawnie, no…”
“Tara?” Willow looked suddenly to the blonde who hadn’t moved since all of this horror had begun.
Everything suddenly went from noisy and angry violence, to still calm serenity as the taller blonde slowly turned towards Willow but the instant that Tara truly faced her lover the time caught up again. There came a sharp cracking noise through the air and down on the picnic blanket one of the crystal champagne flutes shattered.
Willow felt her lip quivering as she locked eyes with Tara and saw her lover’s face fall.
A look of pure surprise and confusions filled Tara’s sunlit features, turning to one of unmasked pain as the Wiccan’s knees buckled just slightly.
“Your shirt...” Tara whispered as she fell towards the ground.
******
Dawn had just emerged from the bathroom, still chomping on her toothbrush as she meandered back to her room for skin lotion humming along to the fairly loud music coming from Buffy and Tara’s exercise session in the living room. She had just reached up to push her door open when a blood curdling scream rocked through the house.
Dawn felt her bare feet dig into the carpet as she turned and raced towards the sound of the screaming.
The teenager’s hurry was echoed a fraction of a second later by the unmistakable noise of the Slayer’s footsteps literally jumping up the stairs.
“It’s Willow.” Dawn stopped at the door to their room as she saw first Buffy and then a few steps behind a very out of breath Tara emerge into the hallway.
“I know.” Buffy was about to run in then she stopped and turned. “Oh God Tara sorry I didn’t think.” The Slayer moved to help the Wicca but Tara shook her head and motioned for Buffy to leave her and go straight to Willow.
“Open the door!” Dawn urged the motionless Slayer as she ran back to help Tara.
Buffy nodded mutely and threw the door open more or less sending it cracking off its hinges.
“Willow?” Buffy called the redhead’s name her voice full of confusion when she saw the bed lay empty. It was more or less stripped of its soft lavender bedclothes that were strewn down onto the carpet.
“Buffy where is she?” Dawn finally half-led and half-dragged Tara to the doorway as the blonde’s legs started to give on her.
“I don’t know.” Buffy threw a panicked glance in Dawn’s direction as she grabbed one of the displaced blankets and pulled it up in her hands, she threw it hard against the wall. “Willow.” Irrationally the Slayer ran to the window peering out of the closed glass panes.
“She has to be somewhere?” Dawn helped Tara in further and positioned her to ease down to sit on the bed.
“I know.” Buffy snapped her head round and glared at Dawn unintentionally harshly.
“I’m just saying.” Dawn made sure Tara was safely sitting before she dashed to check the closet, pulling herself through clothes to the very back. “She’s not in here!” She mumbled and tried to get back out only to find herself tied up in a sweater.
“Shush.” Tara suddenly made the request of everyone. “Please just shush.” She repeated her voice infinitely tender. Dawn stopped her battle with the interior of the closet and Buffy stopped at the window. “Listen.” She urged them all quietly her finger still hovering near her lips.
As the room finally went down to silence the soft sound of erratic deep breaths could be heard, though they were muffled. Tara could see Buffy’s slayer sense tuning into the noise just as her own ‘Willow’ sense did too. Silently the Slayer pointed to the bed and then motioned under it. Tara nodded not speaking yet either.
“How did she get under there?” Dawn whispered knowing that there wasn’t that much of a space between the bed frame and the floor. Both Buffy and Tara gave the teenager their best ‘no clue’ shrug. “How do we get her out?” She asked the next important question.
“Ah now that I do have a clue on.” Buffy moved forward. “If you’d just like to help Tara stand Dawn…” The Slayer took up a position at the foot of the bed, grasping the end board with both hands. Reluctantly Dawn moved over offering Tara her arms.
“No.” Tara looked up and smiled at Dawn shaking her head, she turned more on the bed and looked at Buffy. “That’s not the way, she has to get herself out.” She explained softly.
“Oh.” Buffy stopped her hands on the wood. “Should Dawn and I go downstairs?” She looked to the blonde for guidance.
“Maybe.” Tara thought for a moment and then looked up shaking her head again. “No.” She decided upon. “No, it’s important for us all to help her, not just me.” The Wicca said softly.
“What do we do then?” Dawn questioned worried.
“We assure her that it’s ok to come out.” Tara gently guided them. “Buffy, you’re better at me than getting down right now, see what you can do.” The blonde encouraged the Slayer.
Buffy nodded and moved over to the side of the bed getting down on her knees before she flipped up the bed skirt.
“Will, Will are you in there?” She questioned softly and only muffled sobbing answered her. “Willow, it’s just me. Dawn and Tara are here, we really want you to come out.” She tried again.
“Tara’s dead!” Willow sobbed back as she wedged herself into the very centre.
“Willow, she’s not dead remember? She came back to you, she came back to us.” Buffy leaned down further and slowly moved her hand under. “If you just come out Will you can see her for yourself, she’s up there sitting on the bed waiting for you.” She stopped her arm when she realized the vague shadow under the bed was edging away from her. “Willow please, you must be hurting yourself under there. Please come out.”
“Yeah Willow please.” Dawn’s voice joined Buffy’s as the teenager wiggled down next to her sister.
“See everyone wants you to come out. We have nice fruit salad for breakfast and the little cereal with marshmallows that you like.” Buffy tried to keep her voice soft and soothing.
“And you have to braid my hair for me. If you don’t do it I’ll have to go to school with bad hair.” Dawn encouraged gently.
From her place on the bed Tara closed her eyes for a moment letting the room around her fade away as she concentrated on her lover. Suddenly feelings of almost overwhelming claustrophobia pressed down upon her and a myriad of voices swirled around and around her head.
“Dawn, Buffy.” Tara instructed softly and Buffy’s head poked up over the edge of the mattress. “You need to back away.” She motioned back with her hand.
“Away?” Buffy looked for a moment and then nodded as she urged Dawn to move back with her.
“Willow, sweetie can you hear me?” Tara spoke in a loud, clear voice. The sniffling and sobbing seemed to get quieter for a moment as if the redhead was listening. “Buffy and Dawn weren’t lying to you, I’m not dead, no matter what you might see when you close your eyes.” She kept talking.
“I killed everyone.” Willow’s voice whined out as she admitted the content of her dream.
“It was just a dream sweetie.” Tara continued finding it hard to stay in her place and not rush down and offer solace to her lover. All of the feelings that were being show to her though underlined that Willow had to make the effort here, had to take this small step to break out of her cycle of pain. “Just a dream.” She underlined.
“I want it to be a dream.” Willow’s breathing was ragged. “But what if it’s not?”
“If its not, then you can punish me for lying to you… you can take away Mr. Muffleuffous.” Tara replied not sure indeed why she had quoted the name. It had just somehow pushed into her head.
The mere mention of the name made the sobbing stop and a slight scuffling could be heard as the redhead moved a bit closer to the edge.
“How do you know about Mr. Muffleuffous?” Willow’s hand emerged around the edge.
“I know because you bought him for me.” Tara replied as her memory helpfully filled in a small gap. She moving her hand down so that it rested ever so close to Willow’s. “At the little stall at the Sunday market and you had to pay extra for all the letters cause they embroidered his name on his little shirt.”
“Tara?” Willow’s head poked out a little, her eyes puffy and red from crying.
“Though do not expect me to explain why we called him that in front of Dawnie.” Tara said as she looked down at her lover tenderly. “Hey sweetie.” She added meeting wet green eyes.
“Hey I’m not that naive.” Dawn huffed from her place by the wall.
“You should be.” Buffy hissed under her breath.
“Baby, you’re still alive?” Willow whispered as she pulled reluctantly out a bit further.
“A little more alive every minute I spend with you.” Tara nodded softly as she spoke and slipped her hand down into Willow’s.
“Oh like you can talk!” Dawn turned and poked her sister in the arm.
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Buffy turned to glare at the brunette.
“All I have to say is Angel.” Dawn poked her again.
“That was so different.” Buffy hissed and rubbed her arm.
“Oh it’s always different when it comes to you.” Dawn rolled her eyes looking over to Tara for support when she stopped. “Ahhh.” She smiled when she saw Willow was now fully out from under the bed and hugging onto Tara. Buffy followed Dawn’s eyes and breathed out softly as she too saw the girls embraced together with Tara rocking Willow gently.
“Lets go and get breakfast shrimp.” She motioned to the door with her head.
“I am so taller than you.” Dawn pushed up sticking out her tongue at her sister as she happily moved to the door.
******
"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine."
To The Land of The RainbowWriters
at: 7/14/02 12:14:41 pm
... we wanted to show that though Willow is still very broken the rest of life is calming down well until the next calamity befalls them... 
... and thank you *hugs back* we do love her very much
It's good to see Tara dancing, she is deffinaely getting better. Willow is actually happy when she's not having nightmares and it's good to see Tara's there when she is. 
at: 7/14/02 2:24:05 pm
at: 7/14/02 3:28:52 pm
...although i think i'm spoiled...now i want to keep reading and not go to sleep...hmmm...and thats just not a good thing when you've gotta work in the morning...