Once More With Bitterness - Soundtrack

[Rally]

Yes alcohol, I will need to stock up on something special to get in the singing mood. Anyone have any good suggestions?

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"Everyone's getting spanked but my bitter self."

[tommo]

I'm a big fan of Bacardi Silver. Tastes just like lemonade! Gets you pissed really fast! Blue Sky has also been recommended. And you can never go wrong with Smirnoff Ice.



What? I'm a girl! I drink girlie drinks!

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No metaphors...just fucking.

[warningguy]

first of all, very clever, excellent work kittens. very, umm... bittery.



However, I might suggest that we all rethink giving this to Amber Benson. Put yourself in her possition for a moment. While it is reasonable that everyone here is upset and angry, AB might not see it that way. Remember, she knows the people who are the targets of all this bitterness, Joss, Marti and Nick. She may even consider them to be her friends and might see these songs, clever and legit as they are, to be attacks on her friends. I would hate to AB alienated from the Kitten over this, which may not be likely, but is possible.



Course, thats just my opinion, I could be wrong. Let the yelling and orders to sod off because im not registered commence.

[Rally]

Unregistered guy,



First it's not like Amber is going to sit there and read all 43 pages of it in the 2 minutes we have to give to her.



Second this was written from our hearts because we love the show and hate to see it go to shit. Anyone with a sense of humor can enjoy this piece for what it is.



Third it's called a parody and while all of you trolls from other boards seem to find it funny, we are tired of being lectured by outsiders on how we are supposed to react.

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"Everyone's getting spanked but my bitter self."

Edited by: Rally at: 4/20/02 2:18:11 am

[tommo]

I'm not going to tell anyone to sod off. It's your opinion and you're entitled to it. You don't want to register for the board? That's fine too.



We wrote this because we were having fun. And that's where it came from. If I wanted to express a heartfelt desire about the show and what's happening on it, then I would probably write a letter to Joss. However, the reason this parody came about is mainly because we were just fooling around. And then other people fooled around. And then we liked it so much, we did the whole episode.



If you've visited the board before (which it seems that you haven't) then you would know that parodies thrive here at the kitten. We're always willing to laugh at things and find the humor rather than troll elsewhere, registered or unregistered, and tell people what they should be doing. We're just dealing with this in the best way we see fit, by laughing. And that helps. It helps everyone.



Before the board moved, there were several parodies being written of various episodes. There still are. There's an excellent parody of Bargaining in the creative spoiler thread right now, for example. So don't think that this musical parody is a one shot deal. It's just another example of the vast creative and witty skills we at the kitten board employ.



You're clearly not familiar with the board and the people on it. Otherwise you would have noticed that the musical parody also gets laughs at the expense of many registered kittens as well, myself included. In fact, if we're taking it insult for insult, I probably come off worst of all, as some bitter, selfish, cruel kind of bitch.



But you know what? I think that's hilarious. It's a role. Just like Xander, Tara, Buffy and Willow are roles. It's pretend. It's not real. We respect all the cast members and the jobs that they do. We're not taking issue with that.



As for the issue of giving this to Amber; honestly, whether she reads it or burns it, I don't mind. I've met her on several occasions, as have other board members, and I found her to have a finely honed and wicked sense of humor. The suggestion that she might find this offensive did occur to me, in fact, and then I remembered talking with her. She's got a great sense of humor. She finds things funny. She's more than happy to laugh at herself in the Jossverse. And that, really, is why we decided to give her a copy of this in the first place.



Hell, I don't doubt for one minute that she's going to put it on the pile marked "Gifts from Fans" and possibly leave it at that. And that's okay, you know? I don't mind. Whatever. It's a gesture, that's all.



I must apologise for the extremely long post. It's not like me to go on at length about something like this. But I felt I had to make my feelings and intentions clear regarding the parody and what we're going to do with it. Everyone involved has been duly recognized. Everyone involved has helped to relieve a lot of the stress that many posters have been feeling since these spoilers broke. Everyone involved has provided heaps of entertainment on the board. Because you know what? It's just a show. It's not real life. And parodies are so much less than that.



This was a collaborative effort, but if any one person needs to be held responsible for this, then I will gladly step forward. Yep, I added in a lot of dialogue, with Rally's help. I edited most of it as well. So you know, blame me, if blame must be placed on anyone. I don't mind at all. I can't be in Santa Barbara next weekend, so I'm only too pleased that this will be given to Amber. And guess what? It's got my name all over it. *shrugs* My email address is readily available for anyone to email me if they so please. Go right ahead.



There. I think I said all of that without telling you to sod off. Thanks.

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No metaphors...just fucking.

Edited by: tommo at: 4/20/02 4:16:04 am

[Blue77]

This post has been edited in respect to Ruth and DrG.



I said it badly, but what I wanted to say was if you can't appreciate the humour in this thread then I don't think you should have posted here. I'm entitled to this opinion as you are to yours regarding the Parody, though I would like to add that I showed this to friends who are complete B/S shippers and even they found it funny because it's so well written.



This point may be expected but I hardly think you can argue that you care about being a kitten and having Amber dislike us when you haven't made the effort to register. If this post had been made by a registered user then I know I would have had a lot more respect for it and not made my original comments.



Btw, the Bargaining Parody is a great read and I'd like to recommend it in my humble way as I found it funny but then maybe you won't.



Blue Shark (with mean teeth)

"She should have died hereafter: There would have been a time for such a word ...

...it is a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

Shakespeare/Macbeth

Edited by: Blue77  at: 4/20/02 6:02:02 am

[tommo]

And I think any potential bashing of this unregistered user, or messages to him in this thread should probably end here. I explained the motives behind the parody, and why we're giving it to Amber. I think that's honestly enough. Shouting at people isn't going to help.



Now, I believe we were discussing alcohol, applied liberally? And the veritable merits of performance.

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No metaphors...just fucking.

[Blue77]

It was the mean teeth, wasn't it?



I knew I'd get a slap on the wrist for that post, glad it was you Tommo, it's just I respect what you guys have done here.



But I was forgetting my old school motto of if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all ... and instead I think I got drawn into the laws of physics with to every reaction there is an opposite reaction of equal force which is strange cause I'm not even scientific???



So I have this to say - nothing.



And thanks for the alcohol, I feel mellow now.



Blue Grass. (or was it the weed?)

"She should have died hereafter: There would have been a time for such a word ...

...it is a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

Shakespeare/Macbeth

[urnofosiris]

No blame, no bashing, no telling anyone to sod off and *no* assuming we would do so.

Ruth has replied nicely and reasonably.



Move along kitties.

Edited by: DrG at: 4/20/02 5:19:00 am

[tommo]

moves along nicely, watching Garfield swish his tail behind him



So...about that performance tonight then...

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No metaphors...just fucking.

[urnofosiris]

And for those who are wondering this is what that tail looks like, the rest of me isn't far off either.



--------------------------

(Do-nowt-mezz-wif-me)

[concrete]

Brag, brag, brag, Garfield......

It's not so much that I'm always right, it's just that I'm never wrong

[Rally]

Yes peace has been said, and for all to see registered and unregistered alike, that is why we have a seperate thread for this. To discuss it as need be. I am not going to add anything more other than to say, Ruth summed it all up perfectly.



Now back to the alcohol, I am thinking Plum Wine, Sake and Sapporo Beer.

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"Everyone's getting spanked but my bitter self."

[cautionguy]

Wow, I must say that I'm impressed. The responses, for the most part anyway, were polite. Ruth, you were as nice as I've ever seen you. *smile*



So, simply to clairfy, I thought the work on this parody was very well done. It was VERY funny, at least I found it funny, and I'm notorious among people who know me for having no sense of humor whatsoever. I was not discussing the quality of the parody.



My point simply was that off of these boards, the parody lacks any context. Amber likely has not read what you all are going through, she probably wont get the inside jokes, and, simply put, might not understand. I would hate for her to have her feelings hurt on behalf of her friends.



Ruth, like you said, that probably wont happen, just bein caution guy here. Not trolling, not trying to cause a fuss, just being a kill joy *smirk* Again, good work people, and im poofing. Poof, I say poof.

[xita]

Amber is very familiar with the kitty board. She knows we have nothing but love for her. And believe me there will be other ways that we will let her know that next weekend.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Everything is turning out so dark..."

"No, it's okay. Lost is good. Willow and I always know how to find each other!"

[tommo]

Quote:

---

Ruth, you were as nice as I've ever seen you

---

See? See? I can be nice if a situation really calls for it. It's just generally...you know...it doesn't... I hope you're taking note of that, all you naysayers about my true nature. *coughRallycoughXitacough



Oops. Apologies for the excessive ellipsis there. I'm overtired. Excuse me.

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No metaphors...just fucking.

[Rally]

*snickers*



Oh yes Ruth we know how nice you are...really we do believe it...



excuse me while I go burst into a fit of laughing hysteria.

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"Everyone's getting spanked but my bitter self."

[tommo]

Shame on you Rally. For that, I will not sing tonight. Humph.

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No metaphors...just fucking.

[xita]

Actually, I am surprised that an uregistered person would be oh so concerned with someone's impression of the kitten. I think best leave it to actual board members to be concerned with that.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Everything is turning out so dark..."

"No, it's okay. Lost is good. Willow and I always know how to find each other!"

[tommo]

Well yes, Xita. Especially seeing as that unregistered person used the pronoun "we" in reference to giving the script to Amber. I thought perhaps it was someone who was a member of the board but was too afraid to face my wrath. And then, you know, I remembered what a whipped girl I really am, and that they wouldn't be scared of me.



But yes. I thought that too.

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No metaphors...just fucking.

[urnofosiris]

Quote:

---

Wow, I must say that I'm impressed. The responses, for the most part anyway, were polite

---

Well that made it all worthwhile.

Like Xita said, Amber knows us pretty well, so rest in peace, our reputation is still safe I think.

[Sheridan]

So you are going to see Amber at a convention? What are the odds she would say straight out if she expects to be in S7? Or simply what she thinks will happen with her character next year?

Willow: ...I have to tell you....

Tara: No, I understand you have to be with the
person you l-love

Willow: I am

[VampNo12]

I just want to say I re-read the parody again it was wonderfully done, and very funny with being true to how off-track we feel this season has become. I have never met Amber in person, but by reading interviews of her, and other accounts by people who met her at personal appearances I think she would find this funny at the same time understand the hurt feelings we have due to recent events on the show. Also I hope everyone who is able to see Amber next weekend has a great time (plus I am looking forward to any stories you care to share about your time spent with Amber and other kitties).

[Willowlicious]

Okay, I came up with another parody verse to make a point in chat last night. That, of course, just got me going again. So just for shits and giggles, here's yet another parody of "Going Through the Motions." I can't think of a good title for it. Ideas?





AMBER

Every single year, the same arrangement

I sign for 16 eps on the guest cast

KITTENS

Still we always feel in our derangement

She'll get a better deal

She'll be a regular at last



AMBER

Just remember from the start I've hit my mark

To further Willow's arc

Cuz I'm just a prop for her emotions

Her dance partner in the park

And then they're gonna shoot me through the heart



KITTIES

Tara's kind of shy and sweet and kind

Buffy's center of morality

And stupid TV rules dictate those traits

Just spell early mortality

AMBER

I feel the urge to scream

KITTIES

It must be ep 19



EVIL, CLUELESS TROLLS

Surely you can see she's history

Just like Herc said she'd be

Cuz she's no more than Willow's girlfriend

She stutters and she's gay

And her death is not a lesbian cli--

( Gets official confirmation Tara's a goner)

Yay!



KITTIES

Will Tara stay dead forever?

Willow's so distraught without her!

JOSS

But Aly cries so well

ALY

( Wearily walks to car after another long day manufacturing Willowtears)

Whatever



AMBER

I just wanna beeee

More than Willow's girlfriend

A dyke with a hole in her back

KITTIES

We really just can't see

How this is good TV

AMBER AND KITTIES

And I really want Tara to come (and we really want Tara to come)

Baaaacckk!

--------

"Soft hair and a velvet tongue, I wanna give you what you give to me

And every breath that is in your lungs is a tiny little gift to me."

The White Stripes

Edited by: Willowlicious at: 4/20/02 1:21:08 pm

[the literary exterminator]

Why don't you just use your verse ``Prop for Her Emotions'' as the title? I think that pretty much captures what you're trying to say. Much like Buffy doesn't want to be merely going through the motions, Tara doesn't want to be merely a prop for Willow's emotions, yet she's being reduced to that role by the current storyline. It works.

[urnofosiris]

Yeah that would be a perfect title.



Oh and

Quote:

---

AMBER

I feel the urge to scream

KITTIES

It must be ep 19

---

---------------------------



Interviewer: Ok, last question...can I have Willow's home phone number? Joss: You do realize she's a fictional character, right? And a lesbian fictional character to boot. Interviewer: I think I could lure her back to the home team.
Joss: A lot of guys think that. Interviewer: I bet. Joss: A lot of guys are wrong Interviewer: I'm really charming. Joss: Yeah, I feel your pain, buddy.

[Rally]

Quote:

---

Ruth:

Shame on you Rally. For that, I will not sing tonight. Humph.

---

Pfffttt you are also a bad liar also.

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"Everyone's getting spanked but my bitter self."

[tommo]

Rally, I love you. Enslave me and force me to sing.

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No metaphors...just fucking.

[kitty invisigoth]

Ok that was the first time I read this and it was fabulous! Great job people.



It's funny I just rewatched OMWF yesterday and it already seems like it all the goodness of that episode was written centuries ago.

[RealLiveTara]

Hey, I read your FANTASTIC parody, and everything that came after it, and really, how could I not want to join you people? So, here I am, all registered and everything- Go me! And for anyone who's wondering about my username- Yes, I really am a real live Tara. In fact, Joss is spying outside my window right now, getting ideas for later episodes. Cause Tara's going to be in lots more episodes. I know all the spoilers say otherwise, but honestly, I can't imagine anyone as brilliant as Joss being that stupid. Unless he takes everyone else COMPLETELY out of character, killing her will kill the show. If Tara dies, Willow's magick will go completely out of control, killing anyone within a large radius instantly and killing lots of others sporadically after that. The gang won't be able to control her, and they'll either have to kill her, or keep her restrained and heavily sedated for the rest of her life. Either of which would devastate Buffy. Dawn would lose a parent-figure for, let's see, I think it's the fourth time, and nobody should EVER have to lose half that many. Not to mention, Joss wouldn't have any reason to spy on me anymore, and I'd call campus security on him. So, the potentially lethal fan reaction aside, it'd really be a stupid move. And that was really long for my first post- I'm really sorry. I hope you don't all hate me already for babbling on like that. Just wanted to get you hoping a little, maybe. Blessed be- Kat