As I said before, I have a Part A done and ready to be posted. The Part B section is actually almost complete. I worked really hard to finish it, but my attempts were futile. It snowed yesterday for the first time this season. We're blaming the lack of a Part A, Part B combo on that. See, I hate snow, so I spent a good portion of the day pissed off and lamenting snow. I decided I don't really like precipitation as a whole. We should just eradicate it, but then again, we'd all die. Anyway, to that huge Dippin' Dots sized piece of snow or ice or whatever it was that hit me in the eye yesterday walking to class and got me all pissed off to begin with, this simple, Part A posting is your fault. To talk about the update a little before I do the rest of the replies, it's basically going back to seeing how Willow spent that weekend without Tara. I feel like it leaves a sort of "Huh?" feeling with where we left off the last time. Maybe it's just me. I'll try to finish up Part B today before I leave, but it won't be posted for at least a few days. I'm having surgery tomorrow, so I'll be nice and drugged up for a few days. I'm happy for that. I could really use the incoherent thoughts and drug-induced sleep. So, look for Part B in theatres near you sometime, say, this weekend or maybe early next week. It all depends. I've talked too much. Here's replies and an update.
Replies:sabina – I think that’s the whole point of the formula… only about 2% of real life stories happen that way, yet they still like to sucker us into thinking all that love stuff happens like in the movies and novels and stuff. It’s stupid really when you think about it. Oh, and here’s an update so you don’t have to wait around any longer.
slayergirluk – No big. Things just get crazy and stuff. But here’s a partial update.
eccentrictulip – Woo for being useful. I like the whole “change of events” kind of thing myself. Different is good. I also like seeing when Tara’s not completely the epitome of all that is good. She needs some faults. In this update, you’ll see that Willow POV. So I hope you enjoy it.
Title: Songs For A Mix Tape
Author: Sarah (unionjill30)
Email: unionjill_30@yahoo.comRating: PG - PG13ish?
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters from ME, and really I don’t own the other characters so much either. Though Kim would like to think she owns me. I’ve been informed that I don’t have to be Kim’s bitch, I just choose to be. Go figure.
Feedback: Yes please
Track ListTrack 19: Takeoffs And Landings by The AtarisPart A
Willow felt dejected. After Tara messaged to tell her not to come over, the redhead curled up on the couch in her office and cried until she fell asleep. She couldn’t believe everything that was happening. It all came on so suddenly and out of nowhere.
In her dreams, everything was still perfect. She and Tara were happy, and there wasn’t anything that could change that. When she woke up the next morning, Willow almost forgot the previous day and smiled thinking of her girlfriend. It all came back soon enough though, and a frown settled in where the smile had been.
Can I even call her my girlfriend anymore? Is she breaking up with me? Willow wondered as her frown deepened.
What Willow needed was a distraction. She decided to go over her packing list one more time and made sure everything was in order for her trip. That didn’t take very long though considering she’d already gone over it all at least five times already and knew everything was set. She then figured it might be a good idea to get some other work done.
Before she met Tara, Willow was always very organized and would finish her projects weeks in advance. Since Tara though, the redhead would only do work occasionally and finished things mere days before the deadline in order to spend more time with the blonde. Figuring she could get some things done and turn them in before her trip, she sat down at her desk and turned on her computer.
No matter what she was doing, Willow had her cell phone, her office phone, and a phone for the rest of the house within arms reach just in case by some slim chance Tara was to call. She wasn’t going to give up all hope; at least not yet.
The kitten kept her company most of the day, and Buffy came to see what the redhead was up to after she was done working downstairs. Willow wasn’t in the mood for much talking though and lied to her friend saying she was busy. Metzger tried to come play with his favorite housemate, though the kitten flipped out, and the dog had to be kept outside the room.
The one type of interactivity Willow wanted still hadn’t happened by the end of the afternoon. Tara hadn’t called, and the redhead was running out of things to keep herself busy. She drummed her fingers on the desktop and looked over at the kitten who was sleeping on the couch. Is she ‘our’ cat still, or just Tara’s? Or is Tara gonna tell me to keep her? Willow wasn’t sure where the poor, unknowing kitty was going to end up in all of this.
Turning to look on the other side of the room for something to do, Willow spied some video games, but quickly decided against playing any. That’s mindless. I need something to keep my head busy. She then eyed a black case and jumped up to retrieve it.
“Oh happy FireWire, how I’ve missed you,” Willow said aloud to the case before opening it to reveal a silver FireWire drive. Not only had she been putting off work in the past few months, but she’d also been putting off most of her side ventures; namely writing and the project she’d been working on that first day she met Tara.
Willow walked back over to the desk and connected the drive to her computer. Within minutes she had on the screen an assortment of files containing clips from a short movie she’d shot with some friends at the end of her final year of college. It ended up unfinished because everyone had simply gotten bored with the idea after it was shot and nothing ended up making it to editing. After being in Sunnydale for a while, Willow had found the DV tapes in a box and decided to give them a look to fill time. She was almost two-thirds done with editing everything when she met Tara. Now she needed a time filler again and picked up where she left off. For the rest of the evening and on into the night, Willow holed up in her office and worked at her computer, effectively blocking any conscious thoughts of Tara.
On Monday morning, Willow woke up early. She stopped by the coffee shop for some caffeine to start the day and ran into Adam. He was obviously unaware that anything had happened between Tara and Willow and happily chatted on about the girl he’d met the week before. The redhead listened for a few minutes before telling him she needed to drop some stuff off at work.
After leaving Penny Lane, Willow drove to work only to run into a very groggy Ro. He told her a little bit about the show the night before and said they hadn’t gotten back until very early that morning. Willow talked with him for a while before heading off to turn in some things.
When she left the building, Willow stopped and thought to herself, Everywhere I go today there’s somebody to make me think of Tara. The next stop would be no exception since she had to go to the bookstore where Kim was working and drop off the camcorder she was letting Kim borrow to work on an extra credit project for one of Adam’s summer classes. The tune to the Naked Eyes song Always Something There To Remind Me popped into her head, and she slapped her forehead to get it out earning a strange look from a woman in the parking lot.
At the bookstore, Kim seemed just as oblivious as Adam. The store was looking pretty bare as it neared time to close it up and open the record store, and there wasn’t much work to do at the moment. Kim was filling Willow in on random news.
“And then he said, ‘That’s fucking sweet!’ and said he’d talk to everyone else about it,” Kim was saying as she was sorting through a catalogue.
Willow listened while Kim told her about one of the bands she’d talked to regarding signing on with the record label idea. Kim had taken over talking to people considering the redhead wasn’t near as into the scene as she was.
“That’s cool,” Willow replied with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.
“Completely,” Kim agreed. “So anyway, today is a totally monumental day,” she continued on cheerily.
Why is everyone so damn happy today except me? First Adam, now Kim, the redhead thought somewhat bitterly. She quickly quelled those thoughts and focused back on what Kim was saying. “Yeah?” she asked.
“Yeah,” Kim assured. “This is the first day in the history of ever that I was awake before Tara. I called over there when I woke up just to make sure and no answer. It’s a momentous occasion.”
“Congrats,” Willow said with a small frown at the mention of the blonde’s name. Luckily, Kim had looked down at her watch and hadn’t noticed the expression.
“So, yeah,” Kim went on. “I didn’t know, have you dropped the cat by there yet?”
Shit! The cat. Willow had completely forgotten she needed to drop the kitten by Tara’s before leaving for the airport. “No,” she replied quietly. She was contemplating asking Kim to do it for her when the other woman interrupted.
“We should totally both swing by so you can take the kitten and I can gloat!” Kim said with a little bit too much glee.
Despite reservations about whether or not she should go to Tara’s, Willow heard her voice saying, “Okay,” before she could stop herself.
“Great! Maureen’s going to be here in a few minutes, so I’ll just take off early,” Kim explained.
Willow just smiled weakly. For some reason she was feeling somewhat nervous to see Tara with everything so up in the air.
Just as Kim predicted, Maureen showed up within the next fifteen minutes and allowed Kim the rest of the morning off. After Kim gathered her things, she and Willow stopped off to pick up the kitten then headed to Tara’s.
On the drive over, Kim continued her talk about the bands she’d discussed the label with, but Willow only half listened. She was too caught up in her own thoughts to give her full attention. If she breaks up with me am I going to be able to still hang out with Kim and Adam? I mean, they were her friends first. So many worries were running through Willow’s head, she was sure it would fall off. She fought to sort everything out, and by the time they arrived at Tara’s, Willow had resolved herself to simply talk to the blonde and figure the whole mess out because she knew it would just end up eating at her while she was gone.
Kim parked outside the garage and unlocked the back car doors so Willow could get the kitten. The two women walked around to the door to the house only to find it locked.
“Maybe she’s not up,” Kim wondered aloud as she pulled out her key to the blonde’s house and let Willow go inside first.
Willow hesitated for a split second before stepping inside. All the lights downstairs were off, and the whole place was quiet. She glanced down at her watch which read almost eleven and wondered if Tara was even home. Placing the cat carrier on the ground, she opened up the door to let the kitten loose before turning to look at Kim questioningly.
Kim shrugged her shoulders and knelt down to pick up the kitten who was stumbling out of the carrier. “I’ll get the fur ball settled in while you go upstairs to check on Tara,” she said.
“Okay,” Willow said hesitantly as she glanced toward the stairs. She walked to the first step and took a calming breath, steeling herself for what awaited. Plead your case, convince her you love her, don’t break down in a sobbing mess, she repeated over and over in her head as she continued to ascend the stairs.
At the top of the steps, Willow stumbled. She looked down to see that she’d nearly tripped on a shoe. Its mate was a little further down the hall, as was a jacket, a pair of jeans, socks, and other articles of clothing. They all led in a direct line to the bathroom at the end of the hallway. It was unusual to see a mess in Tara’s house. Maybe an evil closet monster threw up out here? Willow thought, then quickly dismissed it due to extreme absurdity. She continued to follow the trail part way until she was just outside the frame of Tara’s bedroom door. It was open, and she slowly peeked her head around the corner. What she saw made her heart melt.
Tara was sprawled across the bed on her stomach with her head facing the direction of the door. Her hair was a complete mess, as if it had been wet when she fell asleep, and her mouth was slightly open allowing just a small amount of drool to creep out onto her pillow. A faint snore escaped, and Willow couldn’t help but smile. Tara looked exhausted, but at the same time, despite the drool and whatever was going on with her hair, she was incredibly beautiful.
Willow slowly crept toward the bed. She wasn’t going to wake the blonde, she just wanted to be closer to her. When she got within a few feet, she reached out her hand as if to touch the sleeping woman’s arm, and it suddenly dawned on her that Tara was pretty much not wearing any clothes. A crumpled towel hung over one side of the bed as if she’d fallen asleep with it, and the bed sheet was pulled up just barely reaching Tara’s lower back. Only her bare back and arms were exposed, but Willow found her face getting warm with a blush at the sight.
It took a few seconds, but Willow regained some of her composure. She stepped back from the bed and quietly slipped out to the linen closet in the hallway to get a blanket. She figured the blond had to be cold and didn’t think she could pull the one from the foot of the bed up without waking Tara.
Willow walked back into the bedroom and paused to look at her sleeping girlfriend. Why are we fighting? she wondered. I don’t understand. I just wish you were awake so you could help me fix this. Blinking away a slight mist of tears, Willow unfolded the blanket and started to walk toward the bed, but was stopped by a tap on her shoulder, which caused her heart to jump into her throat. It took everything she had to keep from screaming.
When Willow turned around, Kim was standing there with a hand over her mouth and pointing at the sleeping figure on the bed. It looked like she was trying to keep herself from laughing. Willow looked at her strangely, and Kim had to leave the room so she didn’t completely crack up.
Focusing back on Tara, Willow walked over to the bed and gently covered the blonde with the blanket and took one last, long look before leaving the room for good.
Downstairs, Kim was laughing quietly as she stood by the door. She looked up when she heard Willow come into the room. “I so wish I had your camcorder then. I could tease her forever.”
“That’s mean,” Willow said with a small frown.
“Exactly,” Kim replied with a smirk. “Is she waking up anytime soon?”
“Doubtful. She looked pretty out of it.” Willow’s frown deepened.
“So are we staying…?” Kim asked, unsure of how Willow wanted to handle this. She figured the redhead was upset at missing out on telling her honey bye before leaving.
“No, we should go so I’m not late to the airport,” Willow said reluctantly. “You think the cat’ll be okay?”
“Yeah, she’ll be fine,” Kim assured as she stepped toward the door. “I’ll stop back by later and make sure.”
“Okay,” the redhead replied as she followed Kim out the door.
Once inside Kim’s car, they began the drive back to the bookstore where Willow’s car was parked.
“Oh! I almost forgot. In the backseat I have something for your trip. It’s in that black case,” Kim said as she gestured over her shoulder to the backseat.
Willow turned around and reached for what she figured Kim was talking about. She grabbed a small CD case and pulled it up into her lap. “What’s this?” she asked.
“The greatest gift I ever received,” Kim said. “It’s what I call the Westbound Boxed Set. Thirty-two discs loaded with the best music you’ll ever hear. Courtesy of Tara when I moved out here from Chicago.”
“Why are you giving it to me?” Willow questioned.
“It’s like homework. She makes the best mixes. They sort of have this flow to them. So I figure while you’re on the road or in the air or whatever, you can listen and kind of get a feel for how we could put together a comp when we get enough bands who’ll let us use their stuff,” Kim explained.
“Um, okay,” Willow said as she put the case into the bag she was carrying.
After she got home, Willow loaded her bags into Buffy’s car, and she and Buffy headed off to the airport. Buffy had to get back to the funeral home to work, so Willow ended up waiting for her flight alone.
Sitting at the terminal, Willow went ahead and turned her phone off so she wouldn’t forget when she boarded the plane. She pulled the CD case Kim had given her from her carry-on bag and began flipping through it.
Tara had made the redhead a couple if mix CDs after the initial one she’d given, and each one had some sort of artwork on the disc itself to personalize it. The same was true for all of the ones in Kim’s case. The drawings played out like a map across the country, as if each picture went along with the place that Kim might be driving through at the moment she was listening to the CD. Apparently there was an order everything was supposed to be listened to.
Willow laughed out loud when she came across one disc that contained a drawing of traffic cones. Road construction? she wondered. It was moments like this that Willow forgot she should actually be mad at the blonde. Her heart swelled thinking about how thoughtful Tara was, but then her head tried to remind her that Tara hadn’t been so thoughtful running out like she did and not answering the phone.
All the conflicting emotions over the past few days were really starting to make Willow’s head spin. Fortunately, an announcer came on to call out for passengers to begin boarding the aircraft, and Willow had something to distract her for the moment.
The flight wasn’t too terribly bad, though there was some slight turbulence at one point. Willow hated flying alone, and was happy to land in Indianapolis. Her parents were there waiting for her, and she smiled widely when she spotted them.
“Daddy!” she shouted as she ran up to her father.
Ira Rosenberg picked up his daughter and swung her around once before putting her back down and hugging her tightly. “We missed you, sweetheart.”
When he released her, Willow turned and hugged her mother. “Hey mom.”
“Hey, honey,” her mother replied, hugging her daughter back.
“Ready to get your bags and head home?” Ira asked.
“Definitely,” Willow replied, following her parents to the baggage claim so they could go home. She was glad to be back with her family despite her worry over the unresolved Tara issues.
Oh baby, baby, you're breaking my broken heart. And try not to rip my favorite shirt. One more thing, can I have the things that you borrowed from me? My self esteem, my stability, and my argyle socks.
Edited by: unionjill30 at: 11/25/03 5:07 am
by mxgirl314 » Tue Nov 18, 2003 2:00 pm 
I am loving this fic more and more. I love the movie that you used in the update the Labrinth. Atleast I loved it until my little brother got it on DVD and he watches it non stop then it gets kinda annoying. Anyway great update. Why am I getting a gut feeling that 
is not going to wake up in time
I'm really hoping that she does. I hope you write more soon this fic is so addicting.
Hey there Sarah!!! 
unionjill 
more. Update soon, please? 
. Sadness can be good. It keeps things interesting. Thanks for the feedback.
.
I'll probably be sorrounded by six cats... 
They really need to work this out. Can't wait to 
