Soul Shatter

[Thanatopsis]

Don't worry about the spelling. If I'm typing too fast, I'll skip a letter or swith them around. Too bad I can't shorten it to a nickname or something. No worries about updates, I'm patient, though if there's going to be gophers, then I'm going to demand something soon. *kidding* Um, I think I've been awake too long cause a giant gopher actually seemed like a good idea for a moment.

-----------------

You say midgets like it's so absurd.

[Emily First]

Okay...You've drawn me in,now keep me fed !!

*

A good story...

vive,valeque.

[WTsnuggles]

Hi there



Just read your story I love it.



I will be looking for more. Willow pregnant and lost to the scoobies is interesting.



Looking forward to them reunited. Not to worry about spelling everyone does it. It does not change the enjoyment of your tale.



More soon please.

[SquishyTrishy]

BBL Thanks alot BBL. I trully appreciate you adding your speacil talent to my fic. :P lov Trish..+ huggles.



Thanatopsis Did i spell that right? What does your name mean anyway..it seems rather strange to me. Haha i shouldnt be talking though. I do think you should get more sleep *hands you gaint sleeping pill* because Tara being eaten by a gaint gopher really is not such a good thing..infact is is very very bad..possibly even the end of the world.



Emily_First I'll try to keep you drawn in..but you know I cant draw very well..so you might be a little stick man-ish. LOL JK I know what you ment. Thanks for commenting. I think that is half the fun of the story. There will be more some time today..when i make my way home.



WTsnuggles Hi There! I am glad you took the time to read my story.There should be more sometimes tommrow..when I get home and hide from my school work. The spelling thing lol is a bad for me..lol just ask BBL. Hehe. Yes, i agree Willow prego and far away from home is very interesting but i think the more interesting thing to see how they all end up in the end.



Me more Latter....thanks for commenting!



~Trish!~The!~Squish!~



Ps To all you people who dont comment..I thank you for reading and I do wish you would comment..but i am very happy you are reading.

[VampNo12]

SquishyTrishy I just finished reading all the parts in one sitting, and this story has me very intrigued. Willow so far away from her family (ie scoobies and Tara), and now the added complication with being pregnant. I find Erica interesting and I am glad Willow has found a friend, and someone who can help her cope with all that is happening to her. As for Tara and the gang I can't wait for them to finally find Willow, and greatly anticipating W&T dealing with their problems (and Tara's reaction to Willow's pregnancy). Really wonderful fic, and I look forward to the next part.

[Loco2]

way to go, this is one hell of a fic. wow. willow pregnant with PA's baby, tara gonna have to take that with a spoonful of sugar....

once again, great fic

”What do you think I am, a skeleton thief? You want to search me?!"

[Thanatopsis]

SquishyTrishy, I didn't mean I wanted a giant gopher to eat Tara. Just the idea of a giant gopher in the story just kinda made me laugh. I like the randomness of it, feeds into my odd sense of humor. Plus, I'm from Minnesota, dubbed the Gopher state, so it gives it this whole other twist.



Um, as for Thanatopsis, uh, well it's really kind of morbid. It's actually greek for "view of death" I took it from one of my favorite books, Staggerford, so it's not like I'm complete morose, but still. Oh well. What's in a name, right?

-----------------

You say midgets like it's so absurd.

[SquishyTrishy]

Chapter 7

By Trish



Back at the Dorm



Willow and Erica sat cross-legged facing each other. Surrounded by the chaotic piles of Willows belongings.



“So you’re just gonna leave again? Like you did last time?” Erica put the question to Willow. The same question Willow had been trying to answers for herself in the last few hours.



“No, not again. It’s different this time. I am going back home. This child needs a family, love, support, and most of all it needs a mom. I can’t go to school here and raise a baby. I could barely do it with out the baby. So I am going to bring it into the only true family I have ever known.”



“To a family that might not take you in. It is going to be hard Willow. Harder than you think. You have to show them that you can be trusted. And that you’re clean. And most of all that you have to show that you are always going to be clean of your addiction. What if they don’t want you back? Do you know what you are going to say to Xander or Dawn or Tara?” Willow looked down at her hands ashamed. “ I know that you are a strong person. That you are going to try this no matter what. You kinda go this resolve face. What am I trying to say is that it would be so much easier if you had some one in your corner. To help you. To encourage you. So what do you think?”



“ Well, if I am clean and the same Willow they all once knew they will want me back. I just have to prove it to them. No, I don’t know what I am going to say to them. Words can’t tell how sorry I am. It would be so much easier with some one in my corner. But I don’t deserve easy and besides who is gonna be in my corner after what I did?”



“ I’ll be there. I can be there for you. I know you think you need to do this on your own but I can help. You are the first friend I have had in a long time. I don’t want to lose you and I know how hard it is to go back to the place that kicked you out. Let me help you.” Erica stared into Willow’s eyes searching for the yes that she needed.



“ You want to come with me, to Sunnydale?” asked Willow was dumb founded by the fact that her friend wanted to take care of her.



“Yes, I do. There is nothing here for me. P.A. was the only one here who even talked to me. My classes are all done. Since they gave everyone in P.A’s class an A because of her death. Besides, you need help and I can help. Let me come with you,” Erica pleaded.



Willow leaned over and gave Erica a hug. “Thank you. I need some one to help me.” Just then Willow had a horrible feeling that something unpleasant was about to come up. She raced to the washroom barely making it in time to spew her hospital health food. Morning sickness was so not a part of this deal.



Erica was leaning on the side of the door. “ So how does a love sick lesbian get pregnant?”



Willow looked depressingly into the toilet. “I’ll tell you in the car.” This is going to be the longest trip home.



At least there will be plenty to talk about in the car. “Good, because I have got a lot more questions that I wanna ask. I’ll save them for the car ride. Wait a sec. You don’t have a car.”



“ I know; I was going to rent one.”



“Na, We can take my baby. She is a wonderful black Cobra that will get us there in no time. She has been ich’n for a ride. What time were you thinking of leaving and ah like where is Sunnydale?”



“ I want to leave as soon as possible. Tomorrow early would be good. I got a road map we can use, don’t worry.” Willow said with impatience as she brushed her puke stained teeth.



“ I better get packing then. I’ll see you tomorrow. And Will?”



“Yeah?”



“Don’t you dare leave without me.”

....................................................................................



VampNo12 I am so glad you took the time to read my little story. I find it all interesting to, lol, honest i do, i dont even know what i write half the time. And about Tara finding Willow...well maybe Willow will find Tara frist..or they will just miss each other or A one very pissed of Anya (because of all the stuff Willow stold and how she hurt Xander) will go all vengance demony on her ass or Tara will find will. I am sorry, i know i mean to do that..but it's fun. Hope you keep reading.



Loco2 Glad to hear from you. Hmmm I dont know if she will take it with sugar but she will take it with something. But again maybe Tara won't find out..i mean Willow doesnt have to keep the baby (not talking about abortion or adopting) There might be mystical ways to remove it...or maybe not. I will tell you this though, it all works out in the end.



Thanatopsis LOL it is kinda sad cuz i thought it was funny to. I didnt mean for Tara go get eaten by a gopher cuz like....bad hehe i was just fool'in. Ah, i like ur name it is orginal and well rather you. lol but i dont know all that well so, i just go on the fact that u picked it. I hope you like this new part. I might be able to get one more in tonite. And the anwser to your questions is....*drum role* L E T T E R S!



~Trish!~



Ps, u all can call my Trish, squishytrishy is way to long for the lazy sorts of me to read.

Edited by: SquishyTrishy at: 6/9/02 6:32:53 pm

[SquishyTrishy]

Chapter 8

By Trish





Erica and Willow had left very earlier the next morning. The black Cobra hadn’t been as itch’n for a ride as much as Erica thought. It took two try’s to start the beast but once it finally got going nothing was stopping it. She seemed sane enough in the last few days. But now..she is scarey. Kind of like when Anya starts talking about her demon days. She gets this creepy, happy, glazed over look. Willow was shoved from her thoughts and into the dashboard. As Erica moved quickly around a very large brown thing.



“What the hell is that?”



“Welcome to Canada honey. That was a Moose. The’re evil little buggers. They run over cares like it is nothing.”



“Run over cars? Don’t you mean cars run them over?”



“Nope. These things wreck cars like my baby here.”



Willow turned around in the car and looked back at the oversized reindeer. She decided then and there that Mooses are just as evil as Ponies. She would never set foot near the beast and god help the person that tried to get her to ride that.



“People actually ride them?”



Erica looked over at with amusement. “Honey, you don’t ride them. Their wild.” Erica managed to say before she burst out in hysteric laughter.



“The road! Watch the road.” Willow screamed as the car wandered over to the wrong side of the road.



“Cosmic Crap.” Erica pulled the car over once more to the right side of the road. “So you said you would explain to me how you got pregnant. You look very much pregnant now, but you didn’t when I first met you.”



“ Well..it’s complicated.”



“Oh, come on, Will. You can trust me. I am not stupid you know. You didn’t just climb on top of yourself and make babies.”



“It is P.A.’s child,” Willow blurted out.



‘Huh?”



“Do you believe in magic?”



“Isn’t that some horrible song from the 70’s”



Willow, exasperated, “If you want me to tell you. You gotta listen.” She paused to see Erica nod. “ I am a witch. I mean I was a witch. I am sorry if you don’t believe that, but honest, it is true. The thing I was addicted to was dark magic. It is so powerful you cant control it or contain it. You can try stupidly like I did, but it always costs you something,” Willow said bitterly. “Magic cost me my family, my Tara and my innocence.”



Erica not knowing what to think about this new outrageous information just sat there. I thought she was sane. She looked sane, she acted sane..well like a depressed sane person but sane none the less. “Ok, so the magic. That doesn’t explain the bulge in your tummy and the morning sickness.”



“P.A. was a witch. I don’t know what happened, but she traded her soul, her being, to a collector for something powerful. Being pregnant, she wanted desperately to save her baby from the same fate, so she transferred her baby in to me.”



Erica pulled the car into an isolated backroad that looked like it hadn’t been used in years. She pulled the car over the side with vigorous rage.



“What are you doing?”



“What the hell am I doing?” What the hell are you doing? I knock my self out to be your friend and your damn kleenex box and you repay my friendship with these bullshit stories.” Erica let out an angry rush of words. “What is wrong with you? Are you freak’n insane. Of course you are. That’s what I get for helping people. I can’t believe my dad was right.” Erica had her eyes closed tightly trying to keep the tears from coming down her face.



………………………………………

[VampNo12]

Trish just read the latest parts, and I am enjoying this story immensely. Erica wanting to be "in Willow's corner" as she returns to an uncertain future in Sunnydale was nice to see. I liked the road trip Willow and Erica are on, and I found it ironic how both thought the other looked sane, but now are starting to wonder otherwise (ie Willow's take of Erica's driving her "black cobra", and Erica hearing Willow talk about magic). I loved how Willow commented that "Mooses are just as evil as ponies". Lastly, after Erica's emotional outburst at feeling betrayed by Willow's "stories" about witchcraft, I am looking forward to seeing what happens next.

[Drakkenfyre]

Hey Little Bit, Just wanted to let you know how much I am enjoying your fic!!! This is wonderful. You have taken a lot of time and care with the development of the characters and the story. I am really enjoying watching where this story goes. Keep it going girl, your BBL is right here!!

Love you lots and lots,

Laura

"In my world there are people in chains and we ride them like ponies."

[Thanatopsis]

Trish, thanks for 2 updates in one evening. It's pretty great how Erica wants to support Willow and is willing to drive all the way to Sunnydale to do it. Funny how they both thought the other was pretty sane until the road trip. And I love the moose. My friend who lives in Alaska actually had a car accident involving a moose.



I'm glad you like the name. My friend just gave me an odd look when I told him what it meant. But you're right, it is rather me. Funny how that works.

-----------------

Oh, um... various sounds of
hesitation...

[little wicca dude]

dude, two amazing updates i hope they get to sunnydale soon

cant wait for the next update



luv jill

"did i just say that? did i just say that too?"

[fidds]

Trish- brilliant update- very interesting- i wonder what their reaction is going to be when Willow gets to Sunnydale?

Great fic- can't wait for the next part



*Hannah*

********************************************
I just needed someone to talk to, you were just too busy with yourself, you were never there for me to express how i felt ,i just stuffed it down- *STAIND -FADE*

[SquishyTrishy]

Soul Shatter

By Trish



Sunnydale

.

Soon after the orb reviled that Willow was alive, the Scoobies had called an emergency meeting. When the news was told about Willow to the fellow Scoobies, reactions where mixed. Xander, who had always loved his life time companion was speechless at first. After all, he had been through, he still loved Willow and, forgave her for what she did. It wasn’t her fault it was the magic’s fault. This had been Xanders logic to restore his hope is in order to continue to save the world. On the other hand Anya, was out raged. She had taken Xanders best friend into her home and what she did get? A junky stealing all her precious merchandise and her hurting her Xander. Even worse was that she had cared about Willow and it seemed to her Willow just threw it in her face. How could humans be so callous? Giles who had returned to Sunnydale -after his surrogate daughter’s downfall into the blackness- remained silent. He partly blamed himself for leaving Willow to cope on her own and for not teaching her enough respect for the forces of magic. He knew from his past training as a watcher that it wasn’t his fault. But this knowledge didn’t ease his suffering.



Tara looked around the room at the sullen looks of her new family. “I am going to get her back. I can do it with or without your help but I know you all love Willow and that you have all been hurt by her, but I can’t let go of her. This may be the last chance we will ever get to save her.” Tara tried her best to convince everyone to go after her beloved, her soul mate.



“Of course we do. Willow didn’t know what she was doing under the black magicy, it isn’t her fault,” Xander seconded Tara’s opinion.



At that point Anya interjected with, “Just shut up. She almost killed you Xander. I took her into my home and she tried to take away the only thing that matter to me in this mortal world. She deserves to be alone. If I still had my powers, she would be.” Anya said with conviction.



“I know, honey. But that wasn’t the real Willow. It wasn’t our happy babbling Wicca that we all love.” Xander tried yet again to explain Willow to Anya.



“STOP IT!” Giles raged from the corner. “Part of what happen to her was our fault. She never would have been introduced to magic if it wasn’t for the books in the library. But that was her life style she chose to live. It helped keep her and us alive. So don’t you dare turn it around on her. She deserves our help, not for what she has become or how she got there but because we love her. I will not stand by and watch it all go to bloody hell again. NOT EVER. Is that clear?”



“Giles, it wasn’t your fault. It was none of our faults. Willow chose her own path. She was clean for a little while but went back… it was not you fault.” The Slayer walked over and gave her loving ex-watcher a hug.



“ Thank you, Mr. Giles. I ah did a locating spell to track where the power had happened. It was in Aaaalaska. Wwwillow was going to school there for a few weeks, but she left a few days ago. I phoned to talk to the dean about her last night and she said that they had shipped most of Willow’s stuff back home…to Sunnydale.” Tara explained.



“Bloody hell.”



“O, my God.”



“What does that mean?”



“It means she is coming home,” Tara explained, while looking at the floor hugging herself. The room was dead silent.



…………………………………………..

Edited by: SquishyTrishy at: 6/10/02 11:55:58 am

[ExtraFlameyWT]

WOO DAMN HOO!!! Willow's coming home!!



Great update, Trish!



Aimee

*****
"Pope John Paul today confirmed his opposition to gay marriages, said they're unnatural. Gay marriage is unnatural. Then he put on a pointy hat, his dress, and returned to never having sex at all." -Bill Maher

[Willow wtch]

Hey pequeña... just wanted to let you know I´m loving your story... so keep it coming

Ma tutti i sogni nell'alba svaniscon perché quando tramonta la luna li porta con se.
Ma io continuo a sognare negli occhi tuoi belli che sono blu come un cielo trapunto di stelle.



Willow & Tara´s magic

[Loco2]

***Hmmm I dont know if she will take it with sugar but she will take it with something***

er, maybe a few shots of vodka then?



wow, 3 updates. Well i'm most certainly impressed. And Willow's coming home, absolutely fanfuckingtastic!

but Erica seemed so nice, will Willow convince her about the magic?

I applaud you!



*steph*

”What do you think I am, a skeleton thief? You want to search me?!"

Edited by: Loco2 at: 6/10/02 1:43:25 pm

[Thanatopsis]

Woo hoo. Willow's coming home. Are the scoobies gonna welcome her home with open arms? Not to mention, the whole car trip, insanity thing.

-----------------

Oh, um... various sounds of
hesitation...

[pikescoob]

This just keeps getting better and better....Willow's on her way home and there's definitely a lot to talk about....can't wait!!



--Michelle

[SquishyTrishy]

Hey everyone....it is the end of the school year here and I am srounded by evil finals. :'( I was going to wait til lsummer to post this but i will be going away for most of it. So sadely I do not have alot of time for my fic. Dont worry I shall keep posting and replying but if i am a little slow to do so, you all know reason. I am very sorry about this, if you want you could call my school and get me out of class. Hehehe. I am will try by best to get a posting for you guys tonite and to reply to all your wonderful comments. I am greatful that you are reading my faner ficer. :> If I dont have any test tommrow (cant think of any) I might stay up late and go on a posting freenzie getting most of my story up there for you guys.



Thanks alot! really!



~Trish~

[Loco2]

hey, i feel sorry for you, nasty exams : --> but we will be here waiting whenever you do have time to post

”What do you think I am, a skeleton thief? You want to search me?!"

[little wicca dude]

yo dude, i know how u feel i got exams too just had my spanish 1 today



hope ures go ok

keep up the good work with the fic i loved the last updates



luv jill

"did i just say that? did i just say that too?"

[fidds]

ooh great update!

and don't worry about not being able to post as much cause you've been really good to us so far and updated twice or more a day.

so education comes first (i think)



*Hannah*

********************************************
I just needed someone to talk to, you were just too busy with yourself, you were never there for me to express how i felt ,i just stuffed it down- *STAIND -FADE*

[Willowfan]

Oh manoman.....how is willow going to explain this one?!

It's not like she can just do some casting and prove it.

*sigh* poor Willow...I can't wait for the next part.

oh yeah....can you post the updates on the updates thread? Not that I don't enjoy missing 4 parts and have to catch up, cause I do...I just need more as soon as I can get it

Great story so far....

Willowfan

“Love’s bitch?” Spike asked softly...
“Woman enough to admit it,” Willow agreed with a nod and a sad half-smile.

“Cheers, luv,” Spike whispered... -Answering Darkness by Sassette

[SquishyTrishy]

Chapter 10

By Trish



Erica’s outburst had made Willow’s mind rush around in fury. I shouldn’t have told her. She is going to think I am totally nuts, which I am cuz like who would believe in magic unless they’ve seen it, I would never have believed Sunnydale was a hell mouth, but then Buffy came. I wish I could show her that this is all real, or maybe she shouldn’t know. It rules my life now. Erica doesn’t deserve that. I can’t she is my only friend but if I show her my world I would lose her anyway-the demons, monsters; it is not safe. I shouldn’t have told her. Ok now make it seem like a big joke; Ok how do I do that. Laugh? No she will still be mad at me. What have I done? Willow moved her arm around Erica hopping the Goth would not pull away.



“I am sorry. That was the wrong thing to say. I...” Willow had no idea what to say next.



“Don’t. Just don’t. This is all just a big joke to you.”



While Willow was trying to figure out this mess in her head and Erica was trying desperately to stop her crying a, round, slightly orange glowing mass of what looked to be giant fire flies made their way towards the black Cobra. Willow and Erica were oblivious the approaching mass until the car started to rock violently back and forth. Erica jumped in surprise and then froze in fear as she looked into the eyes of one of the bugs rocking the cars. Willow reacted with the trained reflexes of a Scoobies developed from years of supernatural torment and jumped on top of Erica protecting her from the broken glass that spewed into the air.



“O God, were going to die.” Erica suddenly cried out as she regained her motion and tried to claw her way past Willow to try to escape.



“No, we are not going to die. I won’t let that happen.” Willow absolutely terrified felt the familiar flow of adrenaline in her veins. She wasn’t about to use dark magic for she would never surrender to its force again. She hadn’t used light magic in so long, she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to tap into it and let it flow through her once again. But she would not give up. So she thought about the purest, most loving person she had ever known and asked for the Goddess protection. It was granted. Just as the Cobra was about to be tipped completely over, a white bubbly shell closed around it protecting it from the out side orange bugs.



Willow had now endured several scratch marks to the face and bite marks from the panicked Erica’s attempt to escape. Erica was in a panicked fury to get out, no matter what and being much taller then Willow and with her incredible determination she was inflicting a great deal of damage upon Willow, without even realizing it. Willow’s body had been going through massive withdrawal and was not in a good condition especially now that she was pregnant. This alone made Willow first tap back into the light that use to surround her overwhelming and entirely exhausting. But with frantic Erica beating the crap out of her, Willow was consumed in exhausting and tight pain through out her whole body. Willow kept her arms firmly around her stomach blocking all damage to the baby.



Leaning almost limply on Erica’s ferocious body, Willow tired to calm her down. “Erica, stop. Don’t. I am trying to help. Relax. Feel the loving power, or we both are going to die. Please, just please stop.” Willow added her plea because she knew she would not be able to last much longer. Then an idea came to Willow. If she couldn’t shield them from bugs then they would drive away from the bugs. That is if the banged up Cobra still worked. Willow used the last of her strength to grab on to Erica’s clawing hands and yelled at her “Drive.” Then Willow’s bloody face lost its awareness.



I have to get out. Out, I need to run away. I can’t stay here. I will die. Why won’t she move? Does she want me to die? Drive? O, the car! As Erica became aware of her surroundings, she turned the key in the car and moved it in reverse through the tree and back into the welcome sunlight. Like a gate into heaven. The orange bugs did not follow.



.........................................................................................

Edited by: SquishyTrishy at: 6/11/02 1:36:31 pm

[SquishyTrishy]

Hey



I am sorry i havnt commetned on all yours guys wonderful praise. But there seems to be an evil force stoping me. Everytime i get all my comments written and I go to post them my comp either freezes or I gotta run like my butts of fire to d something so I have to leave it. So to avoid evil forces I am going to reply to ya all later tonite hopefull. Thanks for all your wonderful comments. I love hearing them. They make up half the fun of the story I think. Oh, yeah my tutor is going to be checking out this page.....so Hi to you!



~Trish~



Hope You Like!

[Loco2]

thank you for updating! and one hell of an update it was too. well at least erica might believe willow now Hey, were those nasty bug things anything to do with the rather suspicious moose?

thank you.

-steph

”What do you think I am, a skeleton thief? You want to search me?!"

[SquishyTrishy]

VampNo12 A lot has happened. I mean things are going just a little traditional Scobby werid and I mean there thoughts about each other may not be so far off. LOL I mean, look at they have been throuhg…would be 100% sane?



BBL Well I am glad you are there. Wouldn’t want you getting lost or anything. I so glad you like my character but I can only really take credit for Erica, Willow and the rest kinda where just there. Lov you lots. Your LB!



Thanatopsis Is your friend alright? The one that got hit by a moose. I really don’t like those things..there baby’s are ungly too. Sorry, unly baby I have ever seen that I didn’t like. I am gald you are likeing. So what do u think of my latest part. Your name totally kicks..i mean what is the point of having a name if you don’t like it?



little wicca dude Glad you like. I am hopeing they get to Sunnydale soon but I don’t think that will be happening anytime soon. Acctulay I just hope they all get there in one piece. Sound good?



fidds All trains to Sunnydale are on a stand still, we will be making a slight de tor…all who wish to stay on board please say “ I LOVE WILLOW AND TARA!”



Aim I thank you for your replys. Keep reading girl!



JUL I think it is all fair now..you love my story, I love you…at a partridge in a pair treee..



Loco2 (BOWS TO YOUR APLLUD) THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Well..about Erica being convinced you will see for your self.



I AM SORRY PEOPLE BUT MY MOM IS KICKING ME OFF. I AM SORRY IF I MISSED YOU IN MY COMMENTS. I KNOW I MISSED A FEW AT THE END BUT I REALLY DON’T HAVE TIME. SORRY..I DIDN’T FORGET ABOUT U. THANKS A LOT FOR READING! (I cant wait till I move out!)



~TRISH~

Edited by: SquishyTrishy at: 6/12/02 7:32:15 am

[WillowTarafan98]

this is a REALLY cool story!!! Keep up the wonderful work, is thier an update yet



~Stephie~

a picture is worth a thousand words so can I take your's cause your beauty has totally erased my dictionary ~My line, after taking way to many cute girls photos for my college's newspaper~ ;)


Love didn’t listen
It only hears what it wants to hear
Two hearts beating as one
The odds were against ‘em
Oh but they had something on their side
When doubt said it can’t be done
Love didn’t listen
~Chely Wright "Love Didn't Listen" *off the 'never love you enough' cd*