Fic - Living in Shadows

[FaithWL]

*waves back* Heya Puff :p



Lol, there's my new beginning-of-a-new-post thingy.

Anyway, This part sooo rocked.

5 more hours, And Willow introduced soon, right? :d

Looking forward for more, and you know how impatient i am :d



*-XxX-* Stefanie

Tara: "There are 4 things i love... Willow, obviously, Sleeping, eating and showering."
Xander: "And preferbly all 4 combined?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "What? Sleeping with Willow, showering with Willow and eating......uhm..never mind."

[Puff]

jessie 85uk

Glad you are enjoying it part 5 should be up later today



Tiggrscorpio

lol yes Willow will make an appearance pretty soon *coughsixcough*



Mollyig

Thanks for reading, I like the feedback it's nice to know people are following the story.



Jomarch

Hey nice to see you still here, yes the updates are short, but it's the one way I can guarantee daily updates.



FaithWL

*Waves at Stefanie* Thank you for being so positive about the story, hopefully you like the way it is going.



Ok that's all for feedback. Part 5 will be up later today if I can shake my headache off

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[Tulipp]

Hi Puff, sorry it's taken me so long to get in here and say I like what you're doing. I've taken enough bus trips in my time to really get Tara's anxiety. Buses are hard enough without the added, um--stress doesn't seem like a big enough word--of leaving those horrible men. Lots of nice touches, like the sounds of eating and locking the front door.



I like this Tara, who has the guts to walk away and start over. I am looking forward to seeing how this decision--made on her own, without the comfort of Willow already there--will affect her character.



Thanks!

We're sorcerers. The night is still our time. A time of magic.
–Ethan Rayne.

[Puff]

Tulipp

Thanks for reading and I am glad you are enjoying the story. It's great to see your name here as I really love your writing style. Hopefully you like the rest of the story



Sorry for the late update, I've spent the day feeling like crap



Title: Living in Shadows

Author: Puff

Feedback: This is my first and only attempt at a long story so if it sucks sorry. Please send comments etc to puff614@hotmail.com

Summary: Dark Tara centric story. Willow does appear but I am warning you there will be some badness. This is AU as well. That stands for my reality.

Spoiler Warning: None at all.

Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters. I do, however, love them. I'm not making any money off of them though.

Rating: R – G This part is PG-13 I guess.

Notes: Thanks to my wonderful beta reader Drakkenfyre and love as always to spuckie.



Part 5



So this was UC Sunnydale? It was a large campus. Almost as large as Tara’s hometown. She suddenly imagined herself getting lost quite frequently. Luckily, there were plenty of maps placed around. Tara searched for her letter; she was to go to the administration building. ‘Ok how hard could that be to find?’



Looking at the map, she managed to locate the building with some ease. She was here. So she just had to go, um, that way to get there.



Tara set off in the direction she hoped led to the right building. There weren’t that many other students around at the moment and she let herself relax. Enjoying again the feeling of being alone.



There it was the administration building ‘Go me!’ Tara smiled.



Entering it, she found the housing officer easily enough. She found out what dorm room she was assigned and that she had the room to herself.



Room 614 Wilkinson building.



The room was a reasonable size, ‘bigger than my room at home,’ Tara thought to herself. It contained a bed, desk, sink and wardrobe. It also had a window that looked out across the campus. Tara managed to coax it open, allowing the Californian sunshine and warmth to heat the room pleasantly. Unpacking was simple enough, as Tara had so little. She made the bed, lit a few of the herbs as a blessing to the goddess who had allowed her safe passage. Then settled down to read all of the literature she had been handed as she had walked about the college.



In addition to orientation, Tara was to meet a counselor, sign up for her classes, buy textbooks and all other necessary equipment and take any needed placement tests. There were many rules and regulations to read through and remember. Forms to fill out that would require a little creative thinking on her part. The scholarship covered pretty much everything and then some, but would require some serious studying to maintain the high GPA required for it.



Tara stretched out her legs on the bed; they were beginning to cramp up. Her breath caught in a gasp as one of her thigh muscles decided to protest the position it had been in for the last ‘Gosh 2 hours.’ Her hands massaged the sore muscle through the light material of her skirt before it finally relaxed beneath her ministrations. ‘2 hours that explains why I’m hungry.’ Tara stood up and went in search of the cafeteria.



Dinner was a strange affair, the first time in 3 years that a meal was prepared for her. The food was reasonable and the room seemed bright and airy with large windows that let in the evening sun.



Back in her room, Tara pulled her window closed, trapping in the heat from the day and keeping out the biting insects that were sure to appear as the sun went down. She decided to try and find the showers; her body ached from the punishment it had undertook the night before. Maybe the warm water would do it good?



Slowly undressing in the cubicle Tara marveled at the color of her skin, the pale flesh was covered in bruises of various shapes, colors and sizes. Each part of skin revealed showed another angry mark. When all the clothes were removed, Tara found herself in front of a tiny mirror turning this way and that, trying to take in the sight before her. She knew there were no bones broken; there had been broken bones in the past. This was just a dull and all to familiar ache, something that Tara had begun to take for a constant feeling.



‘What would it be like when these bruises fade. To be pain free?’



Being careful not to slip, Tara stepped into the stream of water. Feeling the strength of it massaging her skin. Causing it to tingle in places and be so painful in others that she had to arch away from the stream. Standing in the water, Tara let the memories of the punishment wash over her slowly. Tears started to fall until they built up into huge sobs that racked her body causing it to shake. ‘I survived.’ Her mind repeated over and over until the sobs finally began to ease. Shakily, Tara reached and turned the water off. Reaching for her towel she wrapped it carefully around her body. Stepping from the shower she felt like a new person. She had grieved. Finally allowing herself the luxury of tears for everything her life had thrown at her. Maybe, just maybe, now she could claim her life back.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[Tiggrscorpio]

Wonderful, she's settling into her new life. Her hoping for a life that was pain free was just so sad. So much she's had to endure. I don't know why, but Tara closing the window to "biting insects" made me lol. Wait until she sees what really bites in Sunnydale.



Great update, Puff! Hope you're feeling better.

*****

She's my everything!

[The Next Tara Maclay]

Do continue.

[funkyasian]

symbolic...water washing away all the pain and hurt...and she starts new...a new life...with willow soon enough...so nice to read right before turning in for the evening...



steph

[Thanatopsis]

Glad to see she's settling in, figuring everything out. Sad about the pain, but interesting symbolism with the shedding of clothing to reveal the bruises and like steph said, water washing away the pain.

--------------------
Too many of us live desert lives. ~Charles de Lint

[xita]

Poor Tara, feeling strange because she had someone prepare her a meal and wondering what's it's like to have no bruises

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Oooh Xita!" - Amber Benson

[Tulipp]

The image of Tara metaphorically washing away her bruises was very moving. It makes sense that she would be thinking about this stuff so deliberately. I'm looking forward to seeing what happenes next and, of course, how she meets you know who....

We're sorcerers. The night is still our time. A time of magic.
–Ethan Rayne.

[FaithWL]

*waves*



I still stand with my "wow" ness.

It keeps getting better and better:d. Tara's safe, and that's really all we need, huh? (Except Willow and Tara, ofcourse. But that will happen soon huh? No, i wont push... )

But yea, I'll be waiting for the next part :d



*-XxX-* Stefanie

Tara: "There are 4 things i love... Willow, obviously, Sleeping, eating and showering."
Xander: "And preferbly all 4 combined?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "What? Sleeping with Willow, showering with Willow and eating......uhm..never mind."

[Puff]

First off thank you for the feedback everyone. As a nervous poster (and kind of writer) it's a real pleasure to know that people are actually reading it Now onto individual responses.



Tiggrscorpio

LOL Glad you liked the biting insects I thought it was funny. I'm still feeling headachey and the likes but better than yesterday



The Next Tara Maclay

I plan to In fact an update should follow.



Steph

Thank you I am glad everyone seemed to like that part and yes Willow will appear um in the next part actually



Thanatopsis

Yes Tara is settling in and working her life out. Thank for the feedback and I'm glad you like the story so far



Xita

I think Tara's kind of stunned by anyone doing anything for her now. Glad to see you still reading.



Tulipp

Thank you, I hope I can keep your interest with the rest of the story.



FaithWL

*waves* and um *blush* thanks



Part 6 should follow pretty soon I just have to go and make sure I am happy with it

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[Puff]

Title: Living in Shadows

Author: Puff

Feedback: This is my first and only attempt at a long story so if it sucks sorry. Please send comments etc to puff614@hotmail.com

Summary: Dark Tara centric story. Willow does appear but I am warning you there will be some badness. This is AU as well. That stands for my reality.

Spoiler Warning: None at all.

Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters. I do, however, love them. I'm not making any money off of them though.

Rating: R – G This part is G I guess.

Notes: Thanks to my wonderful beta reader Drakkenfyre and love as always to spuckie.



Part 6



Tara woke up with a start. Today was the beginning of orientation. She had 20 minutes to get ready and meet at the administration building. Her last week had been spent lying in and making herself familiar with the campus. It had been heaven to be lazy for a few days. Her body had enjoyed the time. The bruises that blanketed her were still visible and Tara was always making sure that they were covered but the smaller ones were starting to go yellow and gray, which meant they would fade soon enough.



Climbing out of bed, Tara quickly walked to her wardrobe and pulled on a pair of blue jeans and a long sleeved tie-dye blue top that didn’t quite cover her waist but somehow managed to cover her hands. Next were some bright red socks and a pair of brown lace up boots.



She grabbed her shoulder bag and stuffed in a couple of pens, some plain paper, her wallet and student ID and her room key. Then hurried to the cafeteria in the hope of grabbing a drink and some food that she could tuck in her bag or eat on the way.



Luck was on her side and she was eating an apple as she rounded the corner to the library. This however was where luck somewhat ran out, as she collided with a blonde girl coming the other way. Tara was surprised to find herself knocked quite a way across the floor. Stunned, she sat up.



“Oh geeze, are you ok?” a voice asked.



Tara opened her eyes and found she was looking not at the blonde who had hit her but at her redheaded companion. ‘Wow! What amazing eyes,’ Tara thought as she slowly pushed herself up off the ground and brushed any dirt away.



“She doesn’t always know her own strength.” The redhead had continued talking, moving anxiously forward and reaching out to help.



Tara backed away and the redhead stopped.



“I’m f-fine.” Tara managed too say, the other girl smiled.



“Look I’m really sorry” The blonde girl spoke “We’re in a rush, and we can’t seem to find where the orientation is. Sorry about running into you.”



“It’s in the administration b-building. Over th-there.” Tara pointed at the tall building. Surprised that anyone could miss it. Even from here she could see the large lettering on the front that said what it was.



“Thanks.” The redhead said “Are you on your way there?” Tara nodded her head, not trusting her voice as the redhead beamed at her. “We might as well all go together then.” Tara found that she could only nod again. ‘They must think I am stupid,’ she sighed. Then settled her bag again on her shoulder as they set off.



“I’m Willow by the way and this is my friend Buffy.”



‘Willow. What a wonderful name.’ Tara savored the sound of Willow’s voice as the redhead continued talking telling her what had delayed them that day so far.



“What’s your name?” Willow asked finally.



“Tara.” She said. Tara ducked her head as she felt a faint blush lighten her cheeks. She felt her heartbeat speed up and had to make a conscious effort to remember to breath and swallow.



Willow smiled again and reached out her hand as if to shake Tara’s before she saw her recoil. The hand stayed there. Waiting. Slowly, Tara reached out with her hand and took it.



At the moment of contact, a bolt of energy went through Tara so strong that she almost gasped at the intensity. Looking up, she saw that Willow had felt it too. The green eyes that looked into hers were wide with some emotion that Tara couldn’t quiet describe. She felt Willow’s hand tighten around hers as though the light contact they had was suddenly not enough.



“Come on guys we’re going to be late.” Buffy called breaking the moment.



Tara heard Willow sigh as she let go of her hand. It sounded like disappointment and maybe even a bit of frustration and it both pleased and worried Tara simultaneously. ‘What was that thing that went through us?’ Tara thought as they quickly made their way to catch up with Buffy.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[Tiggrscorpio]

Oh yay, they finally met and all with the instantaneous electricity, running through them both. I love to read about that. The thing about Tara's shirt not covering her tummy, but covering her hands was so funny. Tara tummy!



Great update, Puff!

*****

She's my everything!

[Thanatopsis]

Very cool, they've met and already sensed a connection.

--------------------
Too many of us live desert lives. ~Charles de Lint

[funkyasian]

yay...they've met...ahhh...so sweet...looking forward to the development of their relationship...



steph

[OhGroovetasticOne]

wow, i just read parts 1-6 and i am really impressed. the way you write tara fits exactly with the way i figured tara was pre-willow. the way she shies away from all human contact is truly sad but very realistic. i'm glad you didn't delay the first meeting until 'hush,' the more w/t the better. thanks for posting.

-KT

but then what kind of scale compares the weight of two beauties, the gravity of duties or the ground speed of joy? tell me what kind of gauge can quantify elation? what kind of equation could I possibly employ?

[millerfrog]

puffles tis me!!!





sorry i took so long to reply but the board ate my ID up and i had to get a new one..

but i'm here now!

and yay!



sorry.. calming down..



read the first bits and i gotta say, i'm liking it so far.

the build up of the situations, setting the scene and all is very nice, i'm getting the inpression of a very dark scenerio comming up soon in the not too distant future. sorry i can't really comment very much because i haven't read past cp3 yet. but i promise i will soon.and the short chapters.. grr! although i like a nice long read, i can totally understand the want for short chapters, and plus if this means regular updates, then yay!



k. i gotta go read the next 3 chapters..

------------------
"Ambition makes you look pretty ugly
Kicking screaming gucci little piggy"

[FaithWL]

*waves*



Woohoo! And Willow enters the story..

Buffy bumping into Tara, and Willow apologizing was funny. Hehe, you know my wicked sense of Dutch humour... anyway, i loved this part!! And I'm waiting for more :D



*-XxX-* Stefanie

Tara: "There are 4 things i love... Willow, obviously, Sleeping, eating and showering."
Xander: "And preferbly all 4 combined?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "What? Sleeping with Willow, showering with Willow and eating......uhm..never mind."

[mollyig]

Yay First Contact!



Interesting making them meet like this, because they won't be aware that the other is a witch too.

Adding up the total of a love that's true, multiply life by the power of two
Indigo Girls

[Tulipp]

I like seeing the first meeting through Tara's eyes (of course, we're seeing everything through Tara's eyes here, which I like). And the instant chemistry is very cool.

We're sorcerers. The night is still our time. A time of magic.
–Ethan Rayne.

[Puff]

Tiggrscorpio

Tara tummy is yummy and I always pictured some sort of connection they would share right away.



Thanatopsis

I knew everyone would like the fact that they have meet finally Glad you are enjoying it.



Steph

Thank you



OhGroovetasticOne

Thank you very much, I hope you continue to enjoy the story



Millerfrog

Hey sweets Glad to see you here. Hope you continue to enjoy the rest, you want a long story then read it every few days. And you know I thought it was gonna be darker but it turned our being fluffy happy bunnies which you know would only scare Anya



FaithWL

*waves* It was as close as I could get it to Tara being knocked off her feet by Willow



Mollyig

Yes they have to work out that the other is a witch, glad you are enjoying the story it makes writing it worthwhile



Tulipp

I wanted to write the whole thing through Tara's perspective and by the end of the story I hope I have still pulled it off. And Tara and Willow will always have chemistry At least in my head.





Anyway part 7 will be up later today and hope everyone is having a good weekend

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[Slick Whiskas]

Great fic so far, Puff. I like the way you're writing Tara, very true to character : )=.



FaithWL- what is your signature from?



-Civet ( *

"...and the cat likes overhearing children's stories"- Amelie




Ne-yow! >^..^<

[FaithWL]

Slick Whiskas, It's from one of my many fanfics:p



And woohoo @ puff. Knocked off her feet by Willow, hehe.

I'd like to see that happen IRL...Hm...

Anyway, I'm preparing for my b-day, going back to that now, byeez



*-XxX-* Stefanie

Tara: "There are 4 things i love... Willow, obviously, Sleeping, eating and showering."
Xander: "And preferbly all 4 combined?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "What? Sleeping with Willow, showering with Willow and eating......uhm..never mind."

[KrisBo5]

Hey, I just caught up with this fic, and, woo-hoo, am I glad I did. I love it! Excellent job, you. Update soon, I hope???

Kris

"Frell that!"

[Puff]

First a little feedback...



Slick Whiskas

Thank you, I am glad that you are enjoying the story



KrisBo5

Oh this is great to see you reading my story, I love your writing. I am such a fanfic fan Anyway I hope you enjoy it and here is an update



Title: Living in Shadows

Author: Puff

Feedback: This is my first and only attempt at a long story so if it sucks sorry. Please send comments etc to puff614@hotmail.com

Summary: Dark Tara centric story. Willow does appear but I am warning you there will be some badness. This is AU as well. That stands for my reality.

Spoiler Warning: None at all.

Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters. I do, however, love them. I'm not making any money off of them though.

Rating: R – G This part is a G I think.

Notes: Thanks to my wonderful beta reader Drakkenfyre who has made it possible for me to update daily And love as always to spuckie.



Part 7



The hall, where orientation was taking place, already had people filling up most of the available tables. But Buffy spotted one near the back. Dragging Willow and Tara towards it. They sat down to claim it. Tara sat down first and was pleased when Willow sat next to her, not that she didn’t like Buffy, but the blonde was freakishly strong.



For the next 2 hours, various speakers came up and talked about the experience the students would have at UC Sunnydale. When one of the speakers mentioned the nightlife of Sunnydale, Tara heard Buffy snort and saw that both girls’ had to smoother giggles. The talks would have been boring to Tara if she weren’t by Willow. The redhead seemed to delight in entertaining her, drawing funny little pictures on her nametag and finding any excuse to touch Tara… or whisper a funny story in her ear. The first few touches made Tara flinch and she could tell that Willow pretended not to notice the reaction. And the whispers…Tara wasn’t quiet sure what they did to her. Her body reacted to the hot breath that caressed her ear and the sound of Willow’s voice sent little tiny shivers up and down her spine.



‘It’s lust Tara,’ her brain deduced. All of her feelings made sense then. ‘Not that Willow’s being anything other than friendly of course.’ Suddenly, she noticed that everyone else was beginning to rise from their seats and stretch. It must be lunchtime.



The three girls made there way to the cafeteria where they picked up some food and then decided to eat outside on the grass. Tara breathed a sigh of relief at this, as the cafeteria was very crowded. She could stand to go a few more days without being jostled about by people.



Deciding to sit under a large tree, Buffy sprawled herself across the grass. Lying on her stomach and then letting out a huge sigh of relief making the other two giggle. Tara sat down with her back against the tree trunk and her legs out in front of her smiling as Willow sat down besides her copying her pose.



The tree bark was hard and nobly and pressed into Tara’s back. She shifted trying to get comfortable. Maybe this wasn’t the best way to sit down although it would probably ache whatever she tried at the moment. She sighed resigning herself to discomfort then felt a hand on her shoulder.



The touch made her jump slightly and she let out a tiny shriek before realizing that it was Willow offering her the use of her sweater.



”You can put it behind your back. It might help.” The redhead suggested.



Tara hung her head embarrassed. Embarrassed, not only at her reaction to Willow’s touch but also at being noticed. She wasn’t used to any act of kindness towards her. It had been so long since anyone touched her in a kind way. Remembering that acts of kindness should be thanked she looked up and found herself looking into those startling green eyes again.



“Th-Thank you.” She managed to say. Watching Willow’s eyes light up Tara found herself smiling at the other girl.



In the end, Tara sat forward and Willow carefully positioned the sweater behind her back and then leant back with a sigh.



“Better?” Willow asked softly. Tara had to take a deep breath before she was able to answer with a simple, ‘Yes.’



“Good, can’t have you being all uncomfortable because well that would be wrong. And I like seeing you comfortable,” The redhead blushed “I mean that well it’s um...”



”I hope college can calm down your babbling Will,” Buffy interrupted “She’s always like this,” The blonde explained to Tara “Must be the oxygen or something.”



Tara giggled and looked at Willow, her face was getting redder by the second it seemed.



“I like it.” She said.



Willow positively beamed in response and Tara felt her heart rate speed up. ‘Careful Tara,’ she cautioned herself.



The rest of the lunch passed in relative ease. Willow talked about how her and Buffy live in Sunnydale and that they had decided to stay there for college. Then she told funny stories about the town and things that had happened. Tara was grateful that Willow didn’t ask many questions of her, instead she seemed content to carry on her earlier role as Tara’s entertainer.



Buffy seemed quiet. Tara noticed how she would occasionally look at the redhead strangely and only offered small details about her life although it was likely that she was unable to get a word in. The two of them seemed close and obviously knew each other really well they had a strong bond; Tara could sense that.



And Willow? Tara could truthfully say that no one in her life before had ever effected her quiet like the redhead. Was it really just lust? No. Tara admitted she had felt lust before and it didn’t feel like this. This felt deeper and Tara didn’t want to delve into those feelings yet. She just wasn’t ready to deal with those feelings yet.



“We better be heading back.” Willow said, breaking Tara’s train of thought as she stood up. The redhead automatically reached out to help Tara up. The jolt of whatever it was passed through them again. Leaving both girls looking hard into each other’s eyes. It was as if they were trying to read something important in each other. Something they should know. Something obvious. Then it struck Tara, an absurd thought and she couldn’t close her mouth in time to stop the words from coming out.



“You’re a witch.”

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

Edited by: Puff  at: 7/28/02 1:13:29 pm

[Tiggrscorpio]

Hey Puff! I love how Willow can't seem to keep her hands off Tara. Can't blame the girl. How sad that Tara is still afraid to let anyone touch her. That will all change soon, right? And the big disclosure about being a witch. Here we go! Nice update.

*****

She's my everything!

[Tulipp]

Puff, great last line....I can't wait to see how Buffy and Willow react to that. It's such a reminder, too, of the whole witch/lesbian metaphor. Well, it's not really a metaphor, but it's always been such a connected thing, and this line reminded me of it. I like the little looks Buffy kept giving Willow; I assume that Buffy is noticing that Willow is acting flirty as well as babbly.

We're sorcerers. The night is still our time. A time of magic.
–Ethan Rayne.

[snuggle79]

ok, i know i'm SO late for catching this great story that damn late, but can i still join? I really like your story! Can't wait for more!

Tara:"Maybe we dreamed it."

Willow:"Right. Right. Wrong! (points at her head ) Different Brains."
Tara:"Oh yeah."

Can we just skip it? Can...can you just be kissing me now?

Edited by: snuggle79 at: 7/28/02 1:45:07 pm

[KrisBo5]

Ooh, update, update! See Kris do a little dance. Er, um,no, scratch that, Kris can't dance. See Kris with big happy smile!



Very cute to see Willow trying, so effortlessly, to draw Tara out and for finding any reason she can to touch her or whisper in her ear. Funniest line: ". . . not that she didn't like Buffy, but the blonde was freakishly strong." LMAO!



Keep up the fine work!

Kris

"Frell that!"