Top ten signs youre reading a bad fanfic

[spazz07]

at spike/xander yes because they just ooze love for one another. It is just wrong to pair our girls up with anyone but each other



Nath

Isn't it funny how you feel your most tired five minutes before you have to get up.

[the vamp nurd]

Er how about Wuffy? [Willow Buffy?].

I'm really getting pissed off :angry.

I mean when Willow's happily going out with Tara, groping etc. Hmm. Then suddenly Willow has a brain transplant and then suddenly dumps Tara and goes after Buffy, now c'mon. Tara's Willow's girl. [Faith should be Buffy's]

Dawn and Tara shiver.....

[vix84]

Mrs Vertigo I really liked that link. The satirical little footnotes were so amusing! I needed a good laugh, thanks.

[drlloyd11]

Quote:

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What I found interesting was that there's the distinction between fanfic that's written specifically as a parody or for a joke, and fanfic that is truly, essentially bad. Always worth remembering before you go citing "bad" fics that you've read. Don't you think?

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I agree 100%! I avoided fics that I thought were supposed to be intentonaly humerous. These are all stupid fic, that I've seen somewhere or another, that somewhat thought *gosh, this is cool*.

The Xander Spike one BTW, had a weird S/M component to when they hurt the other person (even accidently during penetration, or during pinching ) they had pain too..

I would have mentioned that, but I'd rather never remember it again.

[Puff]

Willow + Buffy = Billow

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You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[Kieli]

What about Willow + Xander = Wander? Or something equally odd, Xander + Tara = Xara? *shudder* Ok just even going there was disturbing. Tara even coming near Xander...Eww. Heh, just thought of another one Tara + Spike = Tike? Ok, I'm done. That was pitiful and for some ungodly reason, I went there. Thankfully, I've managed to dodge the bullet with the truly horrific fanfics. The Pens has spoilt me so badly that I really won't go anywhere else except for Wiccan Ways or Extra Flamey.

Love is tricky. It is never mundane or daily. You can never get used to it. You have to walk with it, then let it walk with you. You can never balk. It moves you like the tide. It takes you out to sea then lays you on the beach again. Today's struggling pain is the foundation for a certain stride through the heavens. You can run from it but you can never say no. It includes everyone."--Amy Tan "The Hundred Secret Senses"

[frenchrose888]

Quote:

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Ok, I’ve read one with a Cordelia/Anya match that had Willow cross dressing (all the way down to fake 'manly parts' in order to simulate the bulge) and winning Tara’s heart as a guy while in the background rumble ships like Xander/Oz, Buffy/Faith Miss Calender/another woman, etc. And just to top it off, it had a little Cordelia/Tara in its prologue.

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You know, I've read that fic too, and it's one of the funniest ever. And it is meant to be, funny. It's even in the disclaimer - a big gay extravaganza it is, and it is announced as such. IIRC, and I think I do, it's actually based on an 8O's movie - my little brain cannot recall the title right now, if someone remembers, feel free - and thus follows the same plot points/characters only in a fun BizarroGay World kind of way. Now if you don't get the joke, that's okay, to each his own, but that doesn't make the fic bad.



I highly recommend it with anyone with a good sense of humour who hasn't read it yet - Just One of the Wiccans, by Dreiser, you can find it in the Completed Archive I think, and on EFlamey.



Rose, a slightly bitchy Dreiser enthousiast.

'Magic, thy name is Tara.' - Mariacomet, The Stone Circle.

[tiredsoul]

I read that fic too. It's based on "Just one of the Guys". Not too bad of a film but an awesome parody of it. I laughed all the way through.



The top ten list is great. Very funny and very true. I shutter at a lot of the pairings. There's a huge site dedicated to Willow and Giles (Wiles?) and that sends more shivers down my spine that Xander and Spike (and not in a good way).



--celia

---------------------------------

"That was just rude. Now I forget what I was saying."

[Big Dummy]

Oh God, I read a Tara/Spike one (by accident, by accident!) that disturbed the hell out of me, wherein Tara was being raped by Spike and actually enjoying it. Then Willow rushed in to the rescue, staked Spike, and promptly "made love" to Tara (in the crypt still) to get his stink off of her.



Did I mention that I was disturbed?



Thank God for Pens. I think I'll just bring my sleeping bag and camp out here. It's scary out there.

[tommo]

Ah Rose, I love you in a total prison way.

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"The only thing going for me -
were those moments - just
moments - when Tara would look at
me and I was wonderful."

[molsongrrrl]

yeah that tara/spike rape story is on wiccan ways -- and i accidently read it too -- big mistake ... disturbing is the only way to describe it.



Just One of the Wiccans on the other hand is a really funny story ...

A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants

[earthlovinwicca]

lol. that was funny! I have found some crappy ones too.

Giles and Tara! OMG that is scare-y. On the same site was also Giles and Willow, Giles and Buffy and even a story about Giles and Xander.

I have also read one in which Willow is in a coma and Tara has sex with Xander. As if!!!!

The Dawn ones are the worse though I mean why? what is the point?

Edited by: earthlovinwicca at: 8/29/02 3:14:36 pm

[tommo]

Because some people have way too much time on their hands and see everything as an opportunity to pair couples up in the Buffyverse. Most of these stories, however, prove that people can be a fan of a show without actually watching it...

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"The only thing going for me -
were those moments - just
moments - when Tara would look at
me and I was wonderful."

[Puff]

Just one of the wiccans rocks, as does much that Dresier writes



And I read a vamp Willow gets her soul back that was brilliant as well by Ressick. It's the still unfinished Blood of the Beloved series.

-----------------------
You know, it's a real deal relationship and that's why people can relate to it
Amber Benson

[Bagheera]

Willow/Anya-Anyanka: Would that be "Wanka"?



And Spike/Xander - surely that's "Spandex"



Riley/Oz - Would have to be "Oily"



Gotta stop now or I'll choke on my Pink Lady.

Everybody knew Bagheera, and nobody cared to cross his
path; for he was as cunning as Tabaqui, as bold as the wild buffalo, and as reckless as the wounded elephant. But he had a voice as soft as wild honey dripping from a tree, and a skin softer than down. Rudyard Kipling

[Jennpurr]

Hee... those were funny. I think I've stumbled across one or two of these before.



B, Spandex?? I've never heard that one before. Or the Oily. OMG... So hillarious.



Jen

______________________

"Oh, look. Everyone's all afraid. It's just like old times."

[Bagheera]

Okay, some more couplings that someone's bound to have written, somewhere:



Dawn/Ethan - that would be "Deth" or "Drayne"



Tara/Trick - "Tack" of course



Spike/Trick - "Sick"



And a personal favourite:



Xander/Riley - "Randy"

Everybody knew Bagheera, and nobody cared to cross his
path; for he was as cunning as Tabaqui, as bold as the wild buffalo, and as reckless as the wounded elephant. But he had a voice as soft as wild honey dripping from a tree, and a skin softer than down. Rudyard Kipling

[Jennpurr]

Tara/Trick: **Shudders**



EW!!! Mental images... not pleasant. Must think drooly thoughts.



W/T... W/T Smoochies... W/T Hugs... W/T Snuggles... There, that's better. **Sigh**



Jen

______________________

"Oh, look. Everyone's all afraid. It's just like old times."

[WiccansIllusion]

LOL hilarious thread. I did read one that was Willow/Tara, then Willow/Tara/Spike what would that be? WilTarIke?



Anyways I have read actually some good Billow ones, (Buffy Willow) over on Pink Rabbit Consortium, along with pictures to boot. It was before I was a WT shipper, I swear to god.

Tara nodded in agreement "She has magic fingers." Then, as though the words had just echoed back to her and sounded not at all right, she perked up and glanced around at the others. "On the keyboard."

TheWisdom of War, Chris Golden

'My heart is cleverer then I and it knows what to do.'-MC Legends of the Kiss

[tommo]

*shudder*



Buffy and Willow is just...god, the mutant baby of an overactive imagination. And it's so very wrong.

----------
"The only thing going for me -
were those moments - just
moments - when Tara would look at
me and I was wonderful."

[Lindy]

Yeah, I agree, Buffy/Willow is so wrong on so many unmentionable levels. I mean, something like Tara/Spike, well, that's just silly, but Willow/Buffy is strongly irritating and.. I am lacking good words here. It's wrong.

~~~~~~~
It's nothing. It's all.. nothing

[Pipsqueak]

heh, I once read a Tara/Angelus fic. Bad, wrong, bad, disturbing, bad, ewwww, bad.



WiccansIllusion, "I did read one that was Willow/Tara, then Willow/Tara/Spike what would that be?" Sparrow, obviously.



By the way, if I haven't said it already, thanks for this thread drlloyd! Gave me quite a chuckle. (Did anyone read the Xena/Gabrielle fic on the "Bad Fanfiction, No Biscuit" site? SO SO funny!)

~~~~~~~~


"We're just ... stupid." -- Buffy, on Season 6
Check out my Buffy videos at http://www.pipsqueaky.com

[VampNo12]

Speaking of bad fanfic I remembering once seeing a fic that had Willow and Miss Kitty, just shudder at that thought! And it's bad enough when there are stories with Buffy/Willow, Buffy/Tara, but then seeing stories with Buffy/Willow/Tara makes me wonder if people are actually watching the same show I was watching. And don't even talk to me about Dawn/whoever, and can you even believe I found stories of Dawn/Buffy (shudder)!

[Loco2]

lmao - dawn/buffy? where?

"I'm not gay - I'm just Trevor's bitch." - some drunken guy about his sexuality
"Oh, bugger off, you BROLLY!" - Anya to Giles on his use of the english language
"We'll all be a lot happier without the constant whining....Mom, Buffy, Tara, Waah" - DMW to Dawn

[Rane018]

i agree ruth, some fics are written by people that certainly haven't been paying attention to the show.



i have to admit i've read a lot of bad fanfic out there with the preposterous pairings some have already mentioned. it boggles my mind. there are so many different degrees of bad fanfic and what one might find interesting and funny others may not.



for example, i find fanfic that is totally mary sued to be unreadable to me. i like keeping to buffyverse, there is so much to work with there imho. i also cant get into fics were buffy is suddenly gay and into faith or any other girl for that matter. (or pretty much when any other character is somehow suddenly gay. although you can argue Willow turned suddenly gay when joss wrote dopplegangaland)



i find the whole faith/buffy relationship as is fascinating. i wouldn't go making them gay together in a serious fic though, it doens't ring belivable to me. the deep connection they have can be explored in other ways. that doens't mean i dont read fics with them together or hold it against the fic, it's just something where i'm not 100% invested in the fic though. same with willow and buffy. and, yes, i've read those too. i dislike those fics where after willow's with tara she suddenly realizes she's in love with buffy or fics where they decide to share willow or something. however, fic that is well written may sway me for the time i read the fic. it's very very rare though.



In a humerous fic i can handle pretty much anything because i know it's a joke. and yes, nic's *just one of the guys* parody was hilarious!



and i'm sorry but buffy/dawn? same with willow and vamp willow

Edited by: Rane018 at: 8/30/02 4:53:18 pm

[WebWarlock]

So then what is the difference between a bad fic and porn-without-plot?

Other than the porn I mean.





Warlock

-----

Web Warlock

The Other Side, home of Liber Mysterium: The Netbook of Witches and Warlocks

"That's right you asked for it, there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over!"- Frank Zappa, "You Are What You Is"

[Pipsqueak]

Porn-without-plot is at least semi-believable. It doesn't contradict what we know about the characters. Bad fic, while it may also include porn-without-plot, is "bad" because the reader is rolling his/her eyes and saying "that would NEVER happen!" And/or it's just very poorly written.

~~~~~~~~


"We're just ... stupid." -- Buffy, on Season 6
Check out my Buffy videos at http://www.pipsqueaky.com

[Anne860]

And let's not forget the very lamest ship of all: Spuffy!



Really, Buffy gets together with a remorseless, souless creature that tried to kill her and her friends numerous times? And who then decided he was "in love," and proved it by stalking and threatening her? Please. That is just unbelievable. It would never work. Who would be dumb enough to write that?



Oh, wait...



Damn. Never Mind.

"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen, and stupidity. -- Harlan Ellison.

Edited by: Anne860 at: 8/31/02 7:21:12 am

[Mrs Vertigo]

"Just One of the Wiccans" was a film parody?? oh dear, I really need to start reading disclaimers. I just took it at face value (big mistake). I remember it surprized me how the author had good writing skills but an unbelievebly lame plotline. But I guess if its a parody the lameness is pretty self-explenatory. My apologies



About disturbingness, i've read this scary one that was Angelus/Tara. It was pretty much all about abusing Tara senslessly then killing her off without consolation. pretty horiblle, and it kinda leaves you to wonder from what on earth it was inspired... *coughJOSHSUCKScough*

[Ittybittykitty]

I don't see why people call Buffy/Spike Spuffy. IMHO I'd call it Bike.

Shameless plug- Read my fic 7th Hellvan. It isn't half bad:)! "Innerbed".