Chatper 21
ByTrish Willow and the lady of the clouds where now seated in a very overloaded junkyard. “Why are we here?”
“ You left some very important things in this car. I have come to show you them. What you do after that is of your own free will, Willow. Do not disappoint my clouds. Follow me.” The lady floated swiftly over towards the dead Cobra. “Look in the trunk. You will find a small leather booklet and a brown leather jacket, bring them out.” Willow did what she was told and pulled out the two objects. “ That is Erica’s poetry book, look at page 34.” The book opened and flipped to page 34 for Willow.
Willow
Your tears gently fell upon my hand.
Your heart was beating next to mine.
You were in pain.
I held you.
I know your strength.
Your inner turmoil.
You have been through so much.
I wanted to hold you forever.
There is much I want to say to you.
There is much I want to tell you.
You are a light within my darkened world.
I promise you these things.
I will kiss away your tears.
Erase your pain with my love.
I will hold your hand.
I will keep you close.
I will love you.
My world is dark.
Yet my heart is full of love for you.
You will be my light.
Hold me.
Love me.
Let me in.
Willow...
Wow. She thought that. She feels that. I made her feel that. I…Wow...she sees me like that. “ Now do you see little one. Do you see what you are to your self, to other people? You’re not weak, you’re not a screw up. Do know who you are?”
Willow again didn’t answer.
“ I’ll show you one more thing, if you can not answer this question then there is no more I can do for you. There is something in the jacket pocket for you in P.A.’s coat. This would have been so much better if you had read it before.”
Willow reached into the jacket pocket of her old teacher and mother of her child. She pulled the note out slowly her hands shaking a little.
Dear Willow
You must have many questions. Unfortunately I can give you few answers. I can tell you that the father of our child has long since passed and he is what I traded my soul for. He died in a car accident in which he took a life accidentally. He was damned because of this and I traded my soul for his peace. It may be hard to understand for you. But when you love some one so much you cant breath with out them, you don’t want to breath with out them. When they are around you feel so safe, like nothing in the world could happen to you but at the same time you so scared that it will all end. And for me it did. I did what I had to do and I don’t regret it. I love my child, don’t ever think I don’t. That’s why I let you have her. I saw something in you today at my class. You have strength and you have what it takes to survive in this world. You are not at peace but this doesn’t worry me because people love you very much. The most important thing that you have in your self is the fact that you have drive. It sounds strange but I can’t explain it. Take this letter for what you will but you are a loving person that has so much potential in your life. My baby will have a good home in your love. I am proud of you, for helping me. And don’t you dare give my baby any of those stereotypical evil names; I want original and full of character. Don’t disappoint me. I know you wont. Thank you so much.
~ Alanis Arins ~
Willow was bout to cry again when a hand came down the rest upon her shoulder. “You are not to cry anymore, that was apart of our deal. Do you see it now, Willow? Can you tell me who you are? Don’t let Tara live alone. Say anything.”
“ I ah...I’m Willow. I am the shy friendly nerd that likes to help people. I was the person that tried so hard for people to even notice and love me. It never worked well. My parents still don’t know I exist half the time but they aren’t my family anymore. I am the girl that tried hard and got far. I have friends. I have family. I have hurt my self and everyone a lot because of choices I have made in my life, but I am better and I am determined to stay that way. I love my family, my Tara so much. But you’re wrong, Tara is so much apart of me. She might not be me but she makes up and brings up the best of me. I fought for this world at my own expense and I don’t mean to leave it now. I am me and that’s all there is to it. I fight evil, I love my friends with all my heart, I trust in the faith of the Goddess, I am a witch, I am not magic. I am strong; I have stamina. I hate frogs and ponies and mooses. I tend to talk too much, so much in fact I make people dizzy. I always want to do my best no matter how scared I am, even if it is just a stupid yellow crayon. I try and that is all I can do. I won’t give up. I will see my family again. I will marry Tara, love her until there is nothing left but the end, and I will be there at the end, with my friends, trusting them, holding them, loving them. I can’t tell you anymore than that.”
“ That is enough my child. You have made us all proud. Me, the clouds, P.A, Tara, and your friends will be too. I grant your life with your love.” Blue magic surrounded with an ear hearing hum. Blue magic flowed from the lady of the cloud’s feet up-wards like a large fountain. Then it all stopped.
Willow was awake in the hospital room in Tara arms trying to keep their promise of not crying. Erica was painting a picture of the junkyard with a giant rose in the middle. Anya, was walking on the beach with Xander holding hands and Martin was on his second honey moon.
…………………
I am so very sorry for being away so long, I didnt know that this wasnt posted yet. Thank you guys for reading my fic..it means alot to me. And Extra thank you to all who left comments..they have encouraged me to right more. I am thinking about this great new fic for which i am looking for some one to co-write with me. If interested please email me at
tounge@howamazing.comI hope my ending was good, i wanted it to be a big finish but i think now, that it is kinda lame. If i get the time i am going to try and do a nine months later sorta thing. I thank you all!
~Trish!~
by SquishyTrishy » Thu Jul 11, 2002 9:46 pm 
talk about playing with my emotions...i can actually feel the pain w/t are going through. hats off to you. and if you ever need a beta (not like you know me but hey, i'm offering my services as a fan), i'll be more than honored to help. 
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at: 7/17/02 2:24:17 pm